My Dad Wrote A Porno - S1E4 - 'The Maze / The First Client'

Episode Date: October 19, 2015

This week it's two chapters for the price of one! Belinda puts on her tennis gear (without bra or thong) as Tony leads her to a "medium-sized garden maze" to meet some prospective business clients. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this, you're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Jamie, why are we here? We're here because my dad's written a porno. Your dad's written a porno? Erotic literature. Why? Previously on My Dad Wrote a Porno.

She knew she needed an overview and the detail could come later in the field when she spent time with each manager individually. What are you talking about? Where is the sex? Do you know what? Shall we just tear this chapter out? Shall we just burn this chapter? Alice is allergic to sex.

Sorry, I just orgasmed. Her tits hung freely. Oh god. Like pomegranates. Hello and welcome to episode four of My Dad Wrote a Porno. Hello. We are, as you can hear, joined by James Cooper. Hi, I'm really pleased to be here. And Alice Levine. And I'm also here. Good to have you back again, both of you. So last week we read probably the most boring chapter of literature ever written.

I've only just woken up. Do you think that it was kind of a decoy chapter from Rocky? How do you think? He's kind of luring us into this maybe slightly mundane business world and actually, bada-bing, chapter four. And we're like, whoa, we weren't ready for that. Hopefully we're ready to dive back into the action. I'm ready for some action. Are you, James? Oh, does that answer your question?

Oh, yeah. James is always ready for action, Alice. He is poised, isn't he? Isn't he? Erect and ready to go. I can confirm that. Please stop touching me. Absolutely vile.

Okay. So, Belinda Blinked, Chapter 4, The Maze. Saturday morning came all too quickly and was bright and breezy, but dry. Ideal for a quick game of tennis and then later a spot of shopping and browsing through the cook shops of London's Oxford Street. How many cook shops are there on Oxford Street? Mainly souvenir shops. There's a footlocker. Maybe that is what she means. Belinda thought it was important to not only know her own brand,

but also those of the opposition. That evening, she planned to do an internet search on the guest list for tomorrow's function, where she would be unable to wear bra or thong. Definitely a strange request. Why is everything in a weird singular? Where she, like... Well, she's only ever going to wear one bra and one thong. A bra or a thong.

We've, like, lost the article there. I always like Rocky's very idiosyncratic grammar. It's very him, isn't it? It has got his own meter somewhat. It is poetic almost. I say almost. Sunday morning was warm, so Belinda put the soft top down and motored over to Windsor. Oh, Windsor, very posh. to Windsor. Oh, Windsor. Very posh. True to her instructions, she checked into the horse and jockey and removed her

inner clothing. Inner clothing? Internal clothing? Yeah, what does that mean? It sounds like I don't know, emotional baggage or something. Now dressed in only her tennis gear, she drove to the chairman's house.

She parked next to Tony's car and jumped into his passenger seat. Is he there then? So to speak. In the car? Pardon? So he must be in the car or she's broken in and gotten into the passenger seat. He's there? He is there.

Oh, great. Okay. Good morning, Tony. Her tennis skirt had risen up to show the top of her thighs. Tony pulled it up at the front and studied her pussy. Oh. Pulled it up in front? What do you mean?

Oh, like a proper little whoop-whoop? Yeah, a little Pikachu. Oh, Pikachu. Don't call it a Pikachu. I mean Peek-a-boo. I thought you were calling it a Pikachu. Delirious, sorry. We all are. Chapteririous, sorry.

We all are. Chapter 4's already brilliant. He then pulled up her tennis shirt and inspected her tits. Of course. I mean, when he inspects them, he's just giving them the one-two. Like, yep, one-two, yep, good. What, is the one-two just counting? One and two, good.

Both are present. Well done, Belinda. And everything's accounted for. Pay rise. Why does he always inspect? Why does he never admire or like gaze at? Everything's always an inspection. Didn't he poke them once? Yeah, I think he prodded them. Yeah. It's like an Ofsted. It's like a breast Ofsted. It's satisfactory and the nipples are outstanding. The breasts can stay open. Thank God they've gone into special measures. Hi, Belindainda good to see you're good to go

so let's quickly go through the guest list and discuss our targets with their potential is he still lifting the shirt at this point when he says yeah so you let her put her boobs away i like to think that yeah he's just holding it out and doing the pikachu at the same time let's do the guest list while I Pikachu. After we've done this, we'll get some lunch and take up our positions. So I can read... You couldn't see that, but Alice and I just looked at each other. We don't know what to comment

on these days. So I can readjust my clothing, Tony. Belinda blinked oh she's back to her blinking ways again a very inappropriate time to blink that's definitely a wink yeah blink suggests i would say either grit in the eye like a twitch like a or like kind of um cutesy batting of the eyelashes type behavior it's still a bit vacant, isn't it? So, I can readjust my clothing, Tony,

Belinda blinked. Or do you want me to parade to lunch looking like this? Yeah, Tony. Forty minutes later, after some food and two strong gin and tonics, Tony took her to a... To me, is that quite a quick time to eat and drink two gin and tonics? Forty minutes? She must have wolfed it down.

She's a hungry little beggar, that Belinda. She's got tennis whites on. I bet she's got beans all over her. What potions then, James, for you? Beans. Beans on toast. Fish chips and beans, right? James is like, it's a fancy country club.

I presume she's having a full English. 40 minutes later, after some food and two strong gin and tonics, Tony took her to a medium-sized garden maze located at the rear of the property. A mediocre, medium-sized, quite rubbish maze. They entered the tall undergrowth and Tony led her through it without a pause. Belinda was glad someone knew their way through the myriad of paths and openings. All of this sounds like an innuendo. Yeah, gross.

Do you think he's done that on purpose? I think not. I don't think Rocky realises. After three minutes, they entered a glade, which was obviously the central point of the maze. He pushed Belinda's back onto a flimsy wooden trellis, gave her a quick kiss, and attached her arms to the trellis

with a set of red plastic handcuffs attached to a length of red plastic handcuffs attached to a length of parcel string stop okay he pushed her back again oh he pushed her back he pushed her back onto a flimsy wooden trellis right gave her a kiss though of course and then attached her arms to the trellis with a set of red plastic handcuffs i mean she's gonna get out of there straight away attached to a length of parcel Attached to a length of parcel string. Attached to a length of parcel string. Do you mean like when you put mittens through your coat and they're on the string? Yeah. Okay. Belinda was now thoroughly intrigued and a little excited. They're throwing me both. And a little excited at what was about to happen

and laughed out loud. Tony, how did you know my favorite handcuff color was red i can't believe that belinda who was like the most boring woman ever just did a lol i mean how did he know that her favorite handcuff color was red nice you would have turquoise aquamarine for her thank you seriously though i've not seen a pair of these since my days in kindergarten what what was she in prison in kindergarten was she strapped to trellises in kindergarten more to the point what does she mean i think because they're because they're like plastic toy ones yeah but you didn't play with handcuffs at nursery i wasn't even allowed a spud gun.

Tony smiled as he backed away from Belinda. Tony, what's going on? Said Belinda, now seriously trying to control her amusement. Oh my God, is she literally ruffling? She's loving this, isn't she? She's having a right lolly willoughby, isn't she? Trust me, Belinda. Treat your clients well and let's see their business roll in

What's going on? Why is he backing away? Is he scared of her? I think he's leaving But he's backing away He's not walking away He's like edging back Facing her

Like an evil villain Maybe he just can't bear To stop looking at her She is a beauty I'll return and release you In under two hours in under two hours because my parking will be up then and i don't want to pay a premium keep your chin up and let your tits and clip do the James has got a problem with chin up.

How patronising. Let your, what was it? Let your tits and clit do the talking. Now, logistically, tricky. Two body parts not known for their communications. Addiction. I mean, her clit doesn't stop chatting away. It's a right chatty Cathy.

To be fair, Belinda doesn't say a word through chapter one, just blinks. Her clit is apparently chattier than she is. Her clit's got more of a speaking role than she does. In the play, who would play Belinda's clit? Who's got a great radio voice? Because it'd be an off-screen character. It'd be like Miriam Margoyles or somebody.

I was about to say the same thing. Who would play Belinda's clit? She'd totally do it as well. Miriam, if you're listening, get in touch. It's the role you were born to play. I smell an Oscar. And best supporting clit goes to...

Clit in a leading role. To be fair, it is literally going to outshine her. I know, seriously. Belinda's got competition from her own anatomy. I can't wait to hear what it's got to say.

As for her tits. Yeah, I feel like the tits got a bit of short shrift there. With these erotic words ringing in her ears, Tony walks off. With these erotic words ringing in her ears, Tony walked off. Those erotic words are ringing in my ears. The grass underfoot felt wet

and Belinda could hear a sprinkler nearby which kept wetting her ankles. The area of wet grass would soon become a mud patch, she thought. How disgusting. What's a mud patch? A patch of mud, Alice. He says it like it's a thing.

She hated mud at the best of times, but tied to this garden fence meant she couldn't move around. Much. It would soon get really muddy, and quickly. Oh, God. I know. It's going to be a right quagmire. It sounds really messy. Her thoughts were interrupted

by the sound of cheerful whistling down the maze. Nothing says sexy like whistling, the most annoying habit ever. Also, what's this guy's name going to be? Like Kevin? I'm going to say Gert. Malcolm. Do you know what? You're closer than you think. Is he called Gert Malcolm? Alphonse Sturbacher. From Belgium. Oh no, say it again. Alphonse Sturbacher from Belgium strolled into the Glade and studied Belinda's position

with obvious interest. Alphonse Sturbacher? Sturbacher. That sounds like one of those porn star names where you're like your first pet in your street name. I can't imagine it's a coincidence, Jane. Have you forgotten what we're reading? I swear he played Will Smith's cousin in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Or the butler. From Tony's outline and her internet research, Belinda recognised him and his potential immediately. Over 300 supermarket outlets throughout Belgium, Northern France and Southern Holland, and they were soon to push into the UK. You lost me from Alphonse. There's about to be a push in that glade, if you ask me.

We're back to the business, you see. Business and leadership. You get a little bit of sex, but then there has to be at least three pages of business. A good start, she thought. Yeah, seriously. I mean, if you're going to start anywhere, 300 supermarkets is a good place to start.

It's pretty sizable well done I'm not scoffing I would be over the moon if me and Alphonse got together I'm just saying it's not very sexy

at present not at present and that was the end of the chapter what? I know shut up it was a very short chapter

so I think keep going yeah because I can't wait is your dad okay? did the whole book end there? he's gone for his tea or something

I don't know did it really, Rocky? Stop. Oh, that'll do. So yeah, and the next chapter isn't too long, actually, just looking through it. So I think we can just... Double whammy. Double whammy.

Exciting. Ding, ding, ding. Bonus chapter. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over.

Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Oh, love a bonus chapter. So what's this one called? Okay, interestingly, this is called The First Client,

Alphonse Sterbacher. So it's called The First Client, colon, Alphonse Sterbacher. Well, it's called The First Client and then Alphonse Sterbacher is just written underneath it with a semicolon afterwards bet it goes nowhere my bad of course as is tradition okay ready guys i think just let's go for it yeah exciting belinda blinked chapter five the first client Alphonse Sterbacher.

Good morning, young lady. And who do I have the pleasure of meeting, albeit in this strange situation? Hi, Mr. Sterbacher. My name is Belinda Blumenthal, and I'm the sales director of Steel Pots and Pans. She always felt she should apologise for the terrible company name, but she also knew it was so awful that very few people ever forgot it. Sturbacker replied, excellent. You look like my type of girl, young, dark and mysterious. As you know my name, you will also know I'm the purchasing director of my company sexy that's quite the pickup line isn't it a buyer i think that's what it's called yeah a buyer yeah let's get to know each other we only have 20 minutes contact and i intend to make full use of them oh god oh does

anyone else feel queasy i did just have a whole sticky toffee pudding but that is not related we're gonna see that again alphonse immediately got to work by removing his one garment of a black thong sorry he entered the maze wearing only a black thong and we're only just hearing about it it obviously wasn't that important a detail when you said you removed this one garment i was thinking like why is he wearing a sexy caftan? Just a thong. That is so Alphonse. Is that okay in Belgium?

I think that's a done thing on the continent. Oh really? Reminds me to never go to Brussels. Alphonse immediately got to work by removing his one garment of a black thong and taking off Belinda's shoes and socks. Drink. Put them in the corner. Of the maze. It's a circular maze. Which corner? Wait a sec, she's got socks on. I suppose she's in tennis gear.

No bra, no pants. Of course you can wear socks. I mean, we're not animals. Yeah. That inner clothing can stay. Completely naked, he pushed up her white shirt, partially uncovering her breasts. He then pulled her tennis skirt down to her knees and backed off. What the hell is that? That clit is talking. Now that is not normal. That's that back chat clit. Has Alphonse never seen a naked lady?

Oh, it was, oh, you know what it was? The lids popping. It was the Pikachu. Oh, it was the Pikachu. Of course. The Pikachu popped. The lids popping. It was the Pikachu. Oh, it was the Pikachu. Of course. The Pikachu popped. The lids popping. They're not popping yet, are they?

How strange, Belinda thought. He's just a voyeur. He doesn't want any close contact. Maybe he's happily married. Oh yeah, that'll be it. That's how happily married people act. They turn up in a black thong and they strip someone. It's every marriage

I've ever heard of. God, I hope it's not Rocky's marriage. Oh, I just thought that at the same time as you. Oh, does Rocky have a really good relationship with like the neighbours

or anything? Is there a maze nearby or, you know, a stray trellis? No, no, no. We only have like a little maze in the garden. Like a medium-sized maze?

I'm joking. Oh my God, is there a glade? There's maze in the garden. Like a medium-sized maze. I'm joking. Oh my God, is there a glade? There's no maze, but there is a tangle of woodland near the glade. And a lot of trellising. And we do have a leather room. Alphonse then said to Belinda, would you visit me in my offices in Brussels and let me see your body again? You can see it right now.

Take a picture. Yeah, seriously. It's not an iPhone. He hasn't. He's only got a thong on. Has he not got a thong on. Has he not got a little purse with him or something? A little pouch. A bum bag.

Purse. Like a kangaroo. A little pouch. Or like a tote bag or something. I don't know. I'll just get my camera out my purse. Purse. Fucking hell.

Oh my God. Perhaps I could see more of it and possibly in a less disgusting environment wow how complimentary

also how much more does he want to see haven't we seen the whole lot no he's only like pulled he's pulled a skirt down and hoiked

a shirt up and he can only see partial breast yeah so maybe he wants to see the whole thing in like a beautiful satin room a bit of like a beautiful satin room.

A bit of tush. A satin room? I don't know. That's not a thing. A room draped with satin. I don't know. Is this what you talk about at home? Is that where you got the leather room from?

Babe, you should see our living room. Half's leather, half's satin. And the other half's this big pile of mud in the center. So you want to see more of her body, but she has to go to Brussels for it. Yeah. I feel like it's all on Belinda. She's got to go there. He's not making any effort.

Absolutely. Perhaps I could see more of it and possibly in a less disgusting environment. Belinda immediately understood. Alphonse needed order and homely comforts in order to progress his male desires. Though his cock had quickly become completely erect well then he's giving mixed messages yeah he's repulsed backing away but totally into it sure she replied absolutely

mrs stirbacker i'm so glad i fit your expectations and i would really like to do a lot of business with you i'm sorry this is not the way people talk when they're nude in a glade covered in mud she's semi-nude james no no but i mean the way they're talking oh oh yeah let's do a deal oh yes 300 stores fantastic so she'd like to do some more business with him i think there's going to be some more business in this maze before the night is through stir back a grinned and said That is assured my lovely Belinda And he fondled her waiting tits with relish Ugh

With relish? Another fondling Like Brunston With a little bit of relish he'd bought in his pouch Little bit of purse With a bit of chutney that he'd brought in his purse With relish Oh god her waiting breast.

I thought you said weighty, like, you know. A bit of a... A bit girth. Girth. God. They are weighty, but they were also waiting. What is a waiting boob, though, versus a non-waiting boob? What's a boob at ease versus a boob waiting?

Maybe there's like, if the nipples are wrecked, it means it's waiting. Yeah. Okay. Like a taxi having its light on. Like thumb a ride like hitchhiking right okay sorry and right that's really useful to know for my future i was gonna say the next time you feel like your tits are waiting you'll know by the nipple well i'm thinking maybe that's been happening and people have like been queuing behind me to wait with me and i didn't even know belinda groaned softly one of his hands slipped down to her vagina and started to gently caress it.

So he is into it after all. After all that kind of standing on ceremony. Backing away, only being a voyeur. He's now got his hand down her pants. In return,

she stroked his penis with both hands. Hang on, she had him strapped to a trellis a second ago. Oh yes! We've got Debbie McGee over here. How big is the penis've got Debbie McGee over here.

How big is the penis? Unless it's her wingspan. Yes! Unless Alphonse placed one end in one hand and one end into the other. No, I think that the parcel string is attached to the trellis. So she can still move around.

So that she still has complete free movement of her hands. A bit of parcel string, it's a plastic handcuff, she can break free at any time. Yeah, but why would she want to leave? Who knows who's going to come around that corner next? Exactly. It's a who's who of European business people. A gentleman from Brussels, thought Belinda.

What a great start to the afternoon. Sorry. So ridiculous. Welcome to Belinda Bl Sorry. So ridiculous. Welcome to Belinda Blink. Thank you. Brussels, the sexiest of countries. The sexiest of the administration areas. If only she met someone from The Hague.

Oh, oh, stop it. After a further 10 minutes of extremely heavy fondling, Belinda... Wow. Stop it, Alphonse. That fondling's so heavy. Extremely heavy fondling. I think the only time that that's been written down is on those heavy petting posters at old school leisure centres.

Next, there'll be some bombing. Belinda was becoming very wet. Alphonse had now gone... Sprinkler or Alphonse? Good point, James. I fear Alphonse. Alphonse had now gotten to herinkler or Alphonse? Good point, James. I fear Alphonse. Alphonse had now gotten to her tits big time with his teeth. And his very long cock had penetrated her vulva.

Oh, my God. Right, okay. Bit by bit. Jesus. So she's got bite marks all over her boobs. Which she's loving, apparently. She's got that tiger bum, hasn't she, Al? Well, this week I'd recommend just a simple E45.

What else was there in there? His very long cock had penetrated her vulva, James. So he does have a very long cock. I told you. Not quite her wingspan, as you so beautifully put it. It penetrated her vulva, sure. Yeah. Any biologists in the room? I was going to say, this

has gone from sexy to, like, sex ed. I'm glad that you were finding it sexy before, James. Oh, yeah, me, me, me, me, me. Why does he use such science-y words? I mean, your guess is as good as mine. I am learning a lot about my father through his literature, so, you know. Please don't call it literature. I'm trying to legitimise it somehow, Al, come on.

I wink. Did you just wink at me? He blinked. Oh. Oh, Al, come on. I wink. Did you just wink at me? He blinked. He was obviously enjoying her tits and clit, as Tony had put it, so aptly... Oh. I mean, Dad, the use of commas would be helpful at various points. Please don't criticise Rocky. He was obviously enjoying her tits and clit as tony put it so aptly just 50 minutes

earlier and she had her first major client breakthrough she mentally penciled in a visit to brussels in 10 days time no sense in not striking whilst the iron was hot so to speak i like that if you're kind of in a real exciting sexual moment and you know she's climaxing and it's like fantastic and you're mentally penciling something in the diary you're doing you're doing a bit of admin in your head i mean something is steamy and hot if you're thinking i'll move my one o'clock i'll fly now i know there's a 205 and if i only take hand luggage okay if you can honestly say your mind has never wandered i mean during in very been in very different scenarios, I must stress

I was going to say, she's never been strapped to a trellis A far-off whistle sounded and Alphonse backed off Is he a dog? Is that Tony? Only Alphonse can hear it Alphonse sat and stayed Tongue wagging Who's blowing the whistle?

Tony? Is Tony outside the maze? I don't know. Time for me to go, Belinda. I thoroughly enjoyed your lack of bra and thong. For God's sake. Who talks like this? Very thoughtful.

But don't forget them when you visit me in Brussels very soon. Oh, really, Alphonse? Because I really didn't enjoy your presence of thong yeah at least one of them was wearing a thong but how is it thoughtful to not have a thong on because there are fewer items to remove easy access true but then surely it's outrageous of alphonse to wear a thong a because it's repulsive for a man to wear a thong and b because it's like well belinda's thought ahead why Why isn't he? Yeah, that's true. We haven't talked about whether Alphonse has the body shape for a thong.

Could he pull it off, James? I think something's overhanging the thong. I think there's a kind of gut on Alphonse. Oh, the gut. Oh, what did you think? Oh, no, it's not flopped out. I thoroughly enjoyed your lack of bra and thong. Very thoughtful.

But don't forget them when you visit me in Brussels very soon. We will have dinner at my very exclusive gentleman's club and all our ladies are expected to be properly dressed, at least when they arrive. You can't tell if somebody's not got a thong on. It's not like she'd have her legs wide open as they're having their starter, is it? Well, I don't know, probably.

Yeah, I was going to say, I mean... I mean, you would know that she didn't have her bra on because as we've been alerted to they would be like they'd be hanging like pomegranates quite low like pomegranates or they'd be waiting belinda replied don't worry mr sterbecker i'll be in touch very soon that is not the end of the chapter that's the end of the chapter. That's the end of the chapter. So she's secured a meeting off the back of whatever just happened there. Efficient lady. That messy sex. Heavy fondling, I think you'll find.

Extremely heavy fondling. Which then turned into sex. Did it? Yeah, the vulva. Oh, sure. If you call that sex. You said potato. I mean mean unless it was like a he like dipped it in and out

it was literally like a can you not say dip I'm sorry I'm sorry yeah that's too far and yeah you weren't right next to the mine that accompanied that sentence

so what do we think guys we had two chapters there two in one we're back well we're back on track that was pretty racy. Yeah. After a kind of lacklustre chapter three,

we are right back in there with chapters four and five. I really love this kind of National Trust maze setting. Yeah, it's quite quaint. A kind of school group could come round at any point, which is very exciting, adding a kind of air of danger. And next week we'll tackle chapter six. Whoa, what's chapter six called? I i know we're really moving through i imagine we're staying in the maze yes we are indeed staying in the maze there's so much more to

happen in the maze chapter six is called the second client jim sterling it was jim sterling at the regional sales meeting no no but i think jim sterling may have been in the blurb ah right the blurb which was longer than chapter one correct certainly longer than chapter four something that i thought we might cover but um will clearly be safe for chapter six is um about the duchess yes i know the duchess is still a bit of an enigma isn't she who knows where she'll pop up i don't know i just feel like in these posh grounds that's the kind of place a duchess would be yes true well maybe she'll be a visitor to the maze. Who knows?

Oh, I didn't even think about that. You tease, Jamie. Well, I don't know. I haven't read the book, but... It's quite an ensemble cast, really, isn't it? It's quite a cast of characters. I think we're going to have first pick on who we want to play the characters in the film version. I really think it can be like, you know, the new Harry Potter.

We're going to have actors knocking on our door. Every British actor will want to be in this. All in all I'm happy. All in all James is satisfied. He's had his film.

He'll sleep good tonight. I will. Do you feel exhausted James? I do. I feel like Alphonse. I've got to go and take my black thong off. Oh Christ.

Not wearing it. Alphonse has got to put it back on hasn't he? Take his purse with him and be on his way. Thanks for all your lovely comments so far. A lot of people saying that they're getting injured while listening to it. Please be careful out there. Don't forget, you can contact us on Twitter, at Dad Wrote a Porno.

On Facebook, My Dad Wrote a Porno is the name of the page. And we're on Instagram now as well. We are indeed. At My Dad Wrote Her, because they don't let you say porno on Instagram. Prudes! And do keep the comments coming in. We are reading them and loving them, as is my dad. Oh yeah, it's Rocky loving the comments.

Honestly, it's actually kind of touched him right there, and not where you think, guys. In his heart, you dirty people. Yeah, he is loving it. And who and who knows you know all of your comments might be adding fuel to the creative fire that is Flintstones so keep them coming in and thank you for listening and um in true Alphonse spirit we will now back away from the mics yeah bye Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan.

Well, those days are over. Maples Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.