My Dad Wrote A Porno - S1E6 - 'The Third Client Peter Rouse'
Episode Date: November 2, 2015This week Belinda spends time with one more client in the medium sized maze. They seem to be getting on well - could this be love? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language.
Basically, all the good stuff.
Jamie, why are we here?
We're here because my dad's written a porno.
Your dad's written a porno?
Erotic literature.
Why?
Previously on My Dad Wrote a Porno.
Jim grunted and Belinda thought she felt something entering her pussy.
Oh my God.
If you had to ask.
Did the man know he was only tickling her?
Poor Jim.
Belinda squatted slightly as Jim was shorter than her.
Oh my goodness.
Oh, humiliation for Jim.
She had to squat.
We have a rogue comma.
Wait, is that...
Is that Jim's penis?
Tick.
jim's penis hello everybody welcome back to my dad wrote a porno we are on episode six we're getting really through it now we're racing we really are is that halfway we are roughly halfway
aren't we we're we're at the top of the hill as it were and we're on or the top of the nipple
the nipple tip are you basically saying it's a rapid decline from here?
From here on in, I think so.
Oh no, I hope not.
If anything, I think the raciness has picked up.
I agree.
And I think it's getting a lot more kind of anatomical.
You know, before it was always a hint of a tease
and now we're really getting into vulvas and clitorises.
Yeah, it's full on medical terms.
It really is.
And I'm not enjoying it that much.
There is a strange instinct in me
that actually wants to know what happens in the story.
I mean, I know it's ridiculous,
but I actually want to know what happens to these people.
Say what you like about Belinda Blinked,
but do not call it a story.
Okay.
It is erotica only, Alice.
Its only purpose is to arouse saying book has been you know slightly
unfair to brand it with that word as well but i do know what you mean though there is an element
of you wanting you you are invested in these characters a little bit certainly belinda and
i feel giselle too don't say character donna not so much but you know you know most writers talk
about their process and they they sit down they really flesh out their character. I feel like he just sat down at the computer
and just started typing,
literally whatever was in his head at the time.
All I know is that what he told me recently
was he likes to write in heat.
So read into that, Will.
So I imagine him on a beach in his Y-front.
Oh, in his black thong.
Slash speedo, which I'm sure he imagines is a black thong
or maybe it's fashioned into a black thong. Who knows?o, which I'm sure he imagines is a black thong,
or maybe it's fashioned into a black thong, who knows?
A simple tuck and a twist and there it is.
Hopefully the seam's straight.
I'd love to know the influences.
I'd love to know what he's seen that's made him pop that in.
You see, I would ask him, but I don't want to know. I wouldn't.
I don't want to go there.
That is a can of worms.
Why does he like to write in heat?
Maybe he just feels like that's when his creative,
and I don't want to use the word juices,
but I'll use the word juices, will be flowing.
Did he say in heat or on heat?
Both.
The line could have been crackly.
I think both.
Well, we are reading the chapter today
in just the conditions that Rocky likes.
We're in the most boiling room
in the most boiling building ever.
It is rather warm, yes.
I'm clammy at best.
You're a sweaty lady.
It's one of Rocky's favourites.
Thank you.
Oh my God, maybe we're all conditioning ourselves
to become characters in the book.
In the style of Melinda chapter one,
I'm leaning back in my leather chair
and gently beginning to sweat.
I may have to start removing clothes soon.
I'm just warning you.
Oh, it's going to get sexy even before the book's begun.
So what's chapter seven called? So so yeah as we said last week chapter seven is called the third client peter rouse yeah or as alice so um wittily said peter a rouse
i was really proud of that off the cuff what about i've been working on it for a number of
weeks i knew it was coming ever since that blurbb, you were like, I'm going to use that.
I'm saving it.
So I'm hoping, I mean, I've enjoyed the maze. Don't get me wrong.
Kind of hoping this is the last time we visit the maze.
Yeah, I agree. I'm getting a bit of maze fatigue.
You are. Think about Belinda.
I know, she must be knackered for a thing.
Absolutely pooped.
Didn't Rocky say last chapter that it's a proverbial quagmire by now?
Well, this is true.
I mean, maybe that she can't be in the maze for much longer
just because of the conditions on her knees.
Yeah.
I mean, we can have fun,
but let's not forget the red tape of health and safety, guys.
Let's keep it safe.
Safe and sexy.
Yeah, safe and sexy.
And Rocky's idea of safe sex is like not getting too muddy.
Not slipping in a quagmire.
Or just watching as Alphonse Sturbecker did.
Yeah, well, she thought he was a voyeur, but then he got involved, didn't he?
Of course he did.
Observation wasn't his only motive.
It was those deals.
Let's go.
I'm excited.
You're excited?
Yeah, let's go.
Just because we are so superficial and we do always have this conversation.
Oh, yeah.
Peter Rouse, body type.
Oh, okay.
I mean, they're all fat.
I'm not sure if they are all fat.
I mean, you know, Jim Sterling was a chubby.
Jim Sterling, short and stout.
Here's his handle.
All hanging out.
Where's his spout?
That is such a great assessment of a man.
That will be his epitaph.
Oh, God.
Who was before that?
Alphonse Sturbacher.
Go on, what do you think?
Which nursery rhyme is befitting to him?
No, but he was quite a...
That's not right with Sturbacher, does it, James?
He was quite a stout man as well wasn't he he was quite big i don't think he was was he i thought he was quite lean yeah maybe we weren't told and
we all just created an image i think you want them all to be fat for some strange reason
fetish um so yeah i just think peter ross is just going to be an ample man. Okay, okay. Well, I think it's time to find out, really.
Let's delve in.
Let's delve in.
Belinda Blinked, Chapter 7, The Third Client, Peter Rouse.
Belinda stood her ground, hoping this one would be much better.
Not easy to stand your ground in that mud bath.
Oh no, I hope she's got some grip on.
Well, she's wearing nothing, so her feet.
But easy to do better than Jim Sterling.
I mean, we're giving Jim a rough ride.
Poor Jim.
He's never given anyone a rough ride.
No, the sad thing was that he tried to give her a rough ride.
He thought he was.
And she felt nothing.
Numb.
Belinda stood her ground, hoping this one would be so much better.
She had had enough titillation.
She wanted, no, needed a good fuck.
Oh my goodness.
She didn't have that much titillation.
She's had a few.
I mean...
She didn't have good fucks so far.
Not by her standards, obviously.
Good fucks.
I am literally quoting the book verbatim.
Good fuck is nowhere.
It didn't say that.
What did it say?
It did.
It said good fuck.
It did, yeah.
Oh, trickster.
You're a tricky little one.
No, needed a good fuck.
A tall, blonde-haired man with an impressive physique strolled into view.
Well, I stand corrected.
Not what I imagined, but great.
Good for Peter.
Belinda quickly recognised Peter Rouse.
His operation was located in Holland
with 357 retail outlets
and again was growing strongly
throughout the Scandinavian countries.
Is he trouncing Alphonse then with 357?
Only just.
And neither of them have a patch on jim sterling
yeah wow ironic that isn't it an evasive entrepreneur peter could not be overlooked
as he had recently expanded to spain and portugal the home of pots and pans i mean this is you know
this guy's important on seeing belinda he quickly removed his thong and threw it to the ground whilst approaching her.
I mean, it's not your traditional handshake or hello,
but it's how he rolls.
Can you imagine having that effect on someone?
They just glance at you and they're like,
I've got to whip my pants off.
I can't wait a second longer.
Amazing.
My name is Peter, he said.
I mean, here's someone who's introducing himself
before having sex with her. Polite. But why does everyone say, my name is Peter, he said. I mean, here's someone who's introducing himself before having sex with her.
Polite.
But why does everyone say,
My name is Peter.
My name is Belinda.
Why doesn't everyone say,
I'm Peter?
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Je m'appelle Peter.
He's not in, like, a foreign language class.
My name is Peter, he said,
and quickly bowed.
As is traditional in Holland.
Bowed. I mean, he's got a lot of respect come on now in japan that's very respectful generally they're clothed but that's very respectful my name is peter he said
and quickly bowed i believe you are belinda wait they speak english in Holland though. I believe you are Belinda.
I believe you'll be Belinda.
I believe you're Belinda,
the sales director of this fantastic customer bash
your superiors are putting on here today.
Why, yes, I am Mr. Rouse, said Belinda,
blushing at her naked appearance in front of this,
so far, delightfully hung man.
Now she blushes.
Our preconceptions about Peter are so far all wrong well hung great body i thought he'd be a human being but he's actually
an android so i'm a bit thrown by that after all he was the first to know who she was great well
then definitely shag him that's a reason to shout someone he knows my name legs open oh my goodness
you guys have obviously never been on a night out in my hometown. Oh!
Someone can't return to the homestead.
Please, please, call me Peter, he replied,
especially as we are to become more intimately acquainted
in the next 25 minutes.
Sorry, I forgot to ask, what year is Peter from?
Dearest Miss Blumenthal.
Do you not think that a bit of class is welcome in this book?
It's all been a bit rough and ready so far. I believe we're to be acquainted in an intimate fashion, Miss Blumenthal. Do you not think that a bit of class is welcome in this book? It's all been a bit rough and ready so far.
I believe we're to be acquainted in an intimate fashion,
Miss Blumenthal,
forthwith.
Jade Austin, chill out.
Why is he from a period drama?
Have we sought permission from the village elders to be here?
Village elders!
Well, she does check the town hall clock for the time.
Oh my God, they're a match made in heaven.
I think this could really work out.
Indeed.
He took Belinda's hands and said,
what a delightful body you have.
May I handle it?
It's not a like fragile item.
It's like the bulk of his stock.
Handle with care.
May I handle it? these two need to work
on the sexy talk that's all i'm saying but i think weirdly they're quite well suited in that respect
yeah we've not really encountered a gent in this story no oh my god do you think this is like
gonna become a love story no no okay
i refer you to the early comment about story.
Shoot that one down.
Thank you.
What a delightful body you have.
May I handle it?
Doesn't that sound like, what a wonderful nose you have.
Isn't this bit like just stolen from Red Riding Hood?
What a giant cock you have.
Belinda replied, why, yes, of course.
I would love to feel you touch me.
Feel as free as you wish. Now that's an offer I cannot refuse, Peter replied, why, yes, of course. I would love to feel you touch me. Feel as free as you wish.
Now that's an offer I cannot refuse, Peter replied,
and immediately started to massage her neck.
Slowly...
Let me get on my hands on that.
Oh, I've been thinking about this for days.
Let me get on those shoulders.
I imagine Belinda's got a really broad back.
I don't know why, but really like a hefty, hefty neck.
A strong neck.
Strong neck.
Peter applied and immediately started to massage her neck,
slowly spreading to her breasts and buttocks.
So he goes from neck down to breasts.
All the way down to buttocks.
And a little switcheroo to the buttocks.
Yes.
Because if, lest we forget, the breasts are at the front,
the buttocks are at the back.
Oh, are they?
The head bone's connected to the neck bone.
Belinda immediately started to relax
and responded by gently massaging Peter's penis.
I imagine that kind of like she's like kneading it, like a bread dough.
Like a baguette, an uncooked baguette.
Oh, God.
He had a fantastic body and his muscles were very well toned.
Belinda started to caress his body and in return...
I mean, that's two mentions of the body. Body, yeah. It just doesn it just doesn't flow that well i think he's probably not got a synonym has he
he's stuck there belinda started to caress his body and in return he moved his massage to her
vaginal area right of course of course i mean i feel like we've been here so many times and i
mean belinda's vagina i know this area like the back of my hand i've got gps on this shit and also it's kind of losing any sort of shock value am i alone in that
yeah i just feel like i've heard every word for it now and i'm just totally desensitized i was
always shocked by the language as opposed to the fact that i was related to the man that wrote it
which is possibly where you're coming from well exactly this is the thing when i first started
to read it i was was like, you know,
read Dad's book, you know, very exciting.
Turns out it has a lot of clit and vag and vulva in it.
And now I'm like, oh, yeah, he's just gone to massage her vaginal area.
Standard.
You're just immune to it.
Well done, Dad.
Brilliant.
You get a lot of edge to the pound in this book.
You absolutely do.
He stroked her small runway of pubic black hair,
leading to her vaginal lips.
Why does everything have to lead?
You know where it is.
Like, it's not leading there.
Also, he's finally got to grips with lips and not lids.
Oh, yeah.
Congratulations, Rocky.
He's really growing in his writing.
Turn that D upside down.
You got the right letter.
Oh, still gross, isn't it?
I mean, that's a given, everything's gross
And soon he was inside her with his fingers
Fingers, how many?
All eight of them
Both hands, he's diving in
Why is he doing a round of applause in there?
He's playing like a piano concerto inside her.
Cat's cradle, Belinda.
Belinda had rarely experienced anything as delicate as this.
That's not delicate.
Two hands in her is not delicate.
We've invented two hands.
That is your imagination running away with yourself.
Belinda had rarely experienced anything as delicate as this
and soon began to moan softly.
In return, she still had the sense of presence
to massage his now extremely hard and large penis.
The sense of presence.
What a lovely turn of phrase.
What a lovely, nonsensical turn of phrase.
It means nothing. Love that. It's pure Flintstone.
That is textbook Flintstone.
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She somehow knew she was going to enjoy this man somehow new
well because she's enjoying it potentially because he's got like experiencing that emotion right now
after a few moments peter pushed belinda onto her knees into the soft mud and gently guided her head
to his penis oh god belinda opened her mouth and slowly pushed her head to his penis. Oh God. Belinda opened
her mouth and slowly pushed her lips
over his foreskin.
Oh God. Did you just
stick it in your mouth? I'm sorry.
And everybody take a cup of water
and run out of the room.
Oh God.
Are you okay?
No. Is foreskin a thing you chat about in sexy time?
I was going to say, it is the most disgustingly unsexy thing to mention at this point.
Not that I was into it before this point.
That has turned me right off.
Say it again, although I don't want you to say it again.
The line.
Yeah.
Belinda opened her mouth and slowly pushed her lips over his foreskin.
Oh.
Hang on, wait.
God.
Pulling it back before slightly gagging as she swallowed his entire cock down her throat.
Oh my, how big is it?
Also, I think Belinda might die in chapter six.
I feel like she's doing some like sword swallowing or something. You are very skillful think Belinda might die in Chapter 6. I feel like she's doing some, like, sword swallowing
or something.
You are very skilful, Belinda.
Would you let me teach you more techniques?
Don't ask her a question.
She's got to answer your question.
Simply a thumbs up
or a thumbs down, Belinda.
Why, yes, Peter.
I always love to learn new things.
How's she answering?
She hasn't slipped out yet.
She's a ventriloquist.
She's got room to talk.
She must have a huge mouth.
Wonderful elocution lessons that have allowed her to do that.
What, she said again?
Why, yes, Peter.
I always love to learn new things.
I mean, there's new and there's new.
And also, it seems like she knows pretty much everything.
She's the oracle.
He then lifted her from the ground
and slowly penetrated her vagina with his now throbbing cock.
Sorry, lifted her from the ground via the mouth with his penis?
Like, lifted her...
I imagine that she's now removed the penis from her mouth.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, I love that that's never mentioned.
We just have to assume.
Exactly.
It isn't like he wants to give much detail on the sex
in this erotic novel, for that matter. I love that we just have to shoot. Yeah, exactly. It isn't like he wants to, you know, give much detail on the sex in this erotic novel, for that matter.
I love that we are so confused by the logistics of scenarios
that take any sexual content out of it
because we're like, yeah, technically that should be sexy,
but, like, talk us through it step by step.
Exactly, he just misses out huge chunks.
Belinda again moaned softly.
His penetration was so fluid, she felt
in ecstasy.
Let's just move on.
I've never seen James like this.
I really
don't know what to say anymore.
He started to move inside her.
She responded by contracting and releasing
her vaginal muscles in time to his thrusts.
Why doesn't she just have sex?
1 and 2 and 3, 3, 4. 3, 3? One and two and one and two and three three four.
Three three four and two and five and two two ten.
Contracting her vaginal muscles.
I mean, it's just so...
That is having sex.
Exactly, but...
I don't want to be all, you know, rocky about this
and anatomical, James, but...
But why does she have to think of it in those terms?
Or why does Rocky have to think of it in those terms? Or why does Rocky have to think of it in those terms?
Sorry, James, did you just want him to put,
and they had sex?
Yes!
Yes, just once!
Can you just put, and they had sex?
They were now completely intertwined.
Belinda had never experienced anything like this before.
What actual normal sex?
With a nice person who introduced himself
and was perfectly pleasant.
She was floating on air, and Peter was penetrating deeper and deeper.
Belinda started to gasp in short spasms.
Electrocuted.
She needed more and more oxygen just to feed the gigantic orgasm she was about to encounter.
Oh my God, I feel like she's going to explode.
It's going to encounter. Oh my god, I feel like she's going to explode. It's going to pop.
For the first time in her life,
she was not in control.
Whoa. That's a big deal
for Belinda. But she was enjoying
it to death.
This is new.
This is unfamiliar.
She's a changed woman, isn't she?
This might be like a love story.
I'm just pleased for her.
I'm just pleased she's having a good time.
She's had to kiss a lot of frogs to get to this point.
Seriously.
Peter started to sweat profusely.
Oh, God.
And we're back to normal.
Another sweater.
Peter started to sweat profusely.
Belinda started to rub his skin more vigorously.
Is this like a poem?
Also, nothing I love more when I'm sweaty
than for somebody to vigorously rub my skin.
Rub the skin?
Like, that isn't sexy, is it?
Exfoliate.
Belinda started to rub his skin more vigorously
and he approached his climax.
Of course, Belinda was now wild with delirium.
She was completely out of her head.
She's mad as a box of fries, isn't she?
She got a trigger sentence together, poor thing.
Never has been able to, to be fair.
I was going to say, that's nothing new.
She was completely out of her head.
All her actions were mechanical.
Peter kept thrusting.
Belinda kept flexing her vaginal muscles
until they both came in a violent
explosion of ecstasy together.
Oh, my God.
At least it's over.
I just felt like I had to just rush through that.
I mean, I might be wrong, but did that last about three and a half hours?
That went on and on.
It was tantric, it was.
That was actually not badly written, that last little sentence.
I thought that was quite good.
Hold the phone.
Has James just...
That got me all a-shudder....praised Belinda Bl raised belinda blink let's hear it again then i think we need to i mean as much as i
hate to reread it peter kept thrust hang on how far i mean yeah from peter kept testing
are you sure i mean that wasn't the start of the sentence all right sorry start of the sentence
love that we can never establish the start i was gonna say i'm actually going further and further
up the paragraph to find the start of the sentence it's like the start of the sentence. I was going to say, I'm actually going further and further up the paragraph to find the start of the sentence.
I love that it's like, the start of the sentence is,
Peter entered the maze.
He's happy to get any more stops in.
Of course, Belinda was now wild with delirium.
She was completely out of her head.
All her actions were mechanical.
Peter kept thrusting, Belinda kept flexing her vaginal muscles
until they both came in a violent explosion of ecstasy together.
Do you know what? I don't know what I was saying.
It's not the best sentence I've heard of the book.
You're not wrong, though, James.
It did ramp up the tension there.
Yeah, you were into it, weren't you?
I was into it, and now I'm out of it.
That's surely the end of the chapter.
It's not. Peter fell out of her.
Like a slide.
Flops out.
Accidental.
I'm sorry, I've just fallen right out.
Belinda collapsed onto her knees in the mud.
The plastic handcuffs around her wrists
saving her from being completely immersed.
Completely immersed?
Come on.
Are they actually sinking now?
Where was their purchase if it was a complete quagmire seriously
now on her knees she was spattered all over
with the horrible slime
and there was nothing she could do about it
except linger in the fantastic
orgasm she just experienced
oh Belinda
but Peter's cock remained erect
and Belinda was so impressed with his skills she
knew she could learn much more from him.
So she crawled back to him
She off again!
Oh my god. Give it a minute Belinda.
That was barely a
bit stop. And put her mouth over
his penis and continued to screw
him with her lips, teeth
tongue and throat.
Wow.
But surely he'll be like, flaccid now.
No, it just said so.
No, he's still got it.
I mean, he's got it now,
but it sounds like he will be in absolute tatters
because what, teeth, throat, mouth, tongue, what?
Nails, everything.
She secretly knew she was ready to become his sex slave
if he would ask her.
I don't think it's a secret.
Wasn't first thought girlfriend sex slave?
That's just what Belinda calls it.
She would scream for more
until he agreed, she thought.
That'll be annoying.
Please, sir, once more.
Pete! Pete!
Pete, I love you.
I want to be your sex slave.
Pete, just let me be your sex slave.
Pete.
Pete, don't leave me.
Pete.
I thought it was on so EastEnders all of a sudden.
Oh, my goodness.
But Peter Rouse was no normal individual,
and he knew when a girl was under his sexual spell,
as Belinda now was,
so he let her screw his penis in her mouth
and began using the mud to mark Belinda's tits,
ass, mouth and ears with symbolic signs.
Like a cult.
Like hieroglyphics.
Do we think that Pete might be a bit of a weirdo?
Well, that is the first indication.
Also, ears.
How big are her ears?
Do you draw symbols on her ears?
Mouth.
Yeah, I suppose you could just draw round the mouth area or zone or whatever.
Like a clown, like clown makeup.
Yeah, sort of like the Joker lips.
In mud.
Sexy.
She was still kneeling on the ground,
so he took the opportunity to write more symbols on her back,
which would bind her to him sexually for the next year.
What the actual effing hell?
The next year?
What the fuck has Peter Ousmane drink is?
Has he put like a best before date on her back or something?
His cock then started to ejaculate semen,
which he quickly caught in his hands.
Oh!
Kapow! Kapow! Kapow!
Like Spiderman.
Oh my God!
He then covered her hair with it,
twisting it into a ponytail. Getting ready to go out. Oh, my God. He then covered her hair with it. Oh!
Twisting it into a ponytail.
Okay, they're ready to go out.
It's that wet look.
She loves it.
Twisted her hair into an updo and they were ready to go.
Why is he being so precise?
Because it's rocky.
Fair dues.
Belinda's long black hair mixed with transparent sperm,
the most powerful sexual symbol he knew. What? That doesn't even make sense the hell is peter's deal there was no verb there wasn't it wait till the
second date to get all your weird like cult stuff out can you imagine you go for like dinner normally
and then like maybe like go see a film or go to the theater or something and you're like it's a
really nice guy and then you're like how's? Well, paint my body in mud with ancient symbols.
And then, do you know what I'm hanging up to?
Using a semen as a product?
I think I'm definitely going to be a sex slave.
Belinda, though she didn't know it, was now well and truly ensnared.
And truth be told, it was what Belinda would have wanted.
Wow.
It's weird.
Brilliant insight. Thank you. That could Belinda would have wanted. Wow. It's weird. Brilliant insight.
Thank you.
That could sum up the whole book.
Yeah.
It's weird, said James Cooper.
You know when they put the five stars from Empire or whatever on the film?
Yeah, you can put that on the cover if you want.
Along with, it's not a book.
The whistle brought them back.
Oh, the whistle.
Oh, is it the end?
I was getting quite into this.
Okay.
The whistle brought them both back to the present day.
Present.
Oh my God, they are in Jane Austen times.
Is the maze a metaphor for a time machine?
Oh, maybe.
Oh my God, Rocky would love time travel porn.
The whistle brought them both back to the present day.
Peter hurriedly put on his thong
while Belinda tried to get rid of some of the mud
she was now covered in.
And the cum in her hair, probably.
And maybe the series of bonkers symbols all over her body, maybe.
She's a mess.
Belinda gasped.
When can I see you next, Peter? Please?
All right, Needy McNeederton, this was never Belinda.
She said desperately.
That's right.
I mean, seriously, love, get a grip.
Not another way to say it.
Belinda's head over heels.
Hush, my beautiful Belinda.
I will see you tonight at 11...
Come on.
My beautiful Belinda.
Said no one ever.
At 11.30pm in the Horse and Jockey pub,
where I know you have a room we can use,
Belinda smiled her gratitude to him and said...
I'm just smiling my gratitude to you.
This smile is supposed to make it clear that my gratitude is coming to you, I'm just smiling my gratitude to you. The smile is supposed
to make it clear that my gratitude is coming to you. I won't say thank you. I'll just imply it
with my face. Belinda smiled her gratitude to him and said, it will be so good. I promise you,
ask anything you want. I somehow feel enslaved to you. are Belinda As I am to you
Replied Peter
This is the weirdest wedding vows I have ever heard
Until tonight
What?
Oh like adieu
Until we meet again
And yes James that is the end of the chapter
Belinda's in a good place right now.
I think it's great that she's finally found someone
to share in her sexual fantasies with
because she is quite kinky, isn't she?
This is an emotional connection like no other
because before she was enjoying the sex side of things.
She had her main aim,
which seemed to be like getting ahead in business, basically.
Using her sexual prowess as a tool.
Whereas now she's
forgotten all that she's like i really like him she hasn't even closed the deal that's very
umbelinda oh yeah she didn't she didn't mentally pencil a meeting or even close her legs alice
well all that mud's very slippery so what's chapter eight called chapter eight is called
the tombola okay well we're definitely out the maze and into a village fair by the sounds of it.
A fate. I can hardly wait.
I used to love a tombola.
I fear it's not going to be the same kind of tombola.
I was going to say, I don't think you'll be getting some...
There was always a half-used bottle of conditioner, wasn't it?
Or, to be fair, which you could use.
Or a nice box of biscuits or something.
Some potpourri.
And a few weird cat figurines, usually, in our village fair.
You've cleaned up the tombolas clearly, Jamie.
That's probably what Rocky's drawing on.
Are you a family of tombola winners?
We are a gifted family with the tombola.
We are.
The tombola.
That is great.
What a curveball.
Did not see that title coming.
No.
Where are we going next?
How do we get
from a maze to a tombola i can't wait we have sworn an oath not to jump ahead in this book so
james and i don't know anything that's going to happen ahead of you reading it to us jamie
you sometimes read the day off don't you yeah just so I can get to grips with the poor grammar. If I hadn't have made that pact with you guys, I would be skipping ahead no
end. Because I have that book. I have it. I've downloaded it. You've downloaded it. Belinda
Blinked. Go get it immediately from Amazon. It's a bargain. But it takes everything in my being
every week not to read the next chapter. resist you must resist read along with us if you
are as obsessed as we are with the antics of belinda then get in touch let us know your thoughts
feelings and emotions you can find us on instagram on twitter and on facebook simply google my dad
wrote a porno it'll be the first hit once again a great read bravo oh thank you very much and thank you both for
joining me and thanks everyone for listening once more see you next week bye bye i love you pete
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