My Dad Wrote A Porno - S1E9 - 'The Horse and Jockey'

Episode Date: November 23, 2015

In what is becoming the longest day of her life, Belinda returns to The Horse and Jockey for dinner followed by a second dalliance with Peter Rouse... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again. Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself. Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit zensurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zensurance, mind your business.

The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Jamie, why are we here? We're here because my dad's written a porno. Your dad's written a porno? Erotic literature. Why? Previously on

My Dad Wrote a Porno. The Duchess's breasts draped over Belinda's body. She started to massage Belinda's back and buttocks. All four of them. Oh, snap! Belinda walked around the bedroom with her monster prick out in front of her.

Hello and welcome to yet another instalment of My Dad Wrote a Porno. James, how are you? I'm great, actually. Yeah? Alice, how are you great actually yeah alice how are you i just feel like more than ever people are referring to monday as belinda day yeah hashtag porno day hashtag porno day if you will who knew that people wanted a bit of filth on monday morning is people object to listening to on public transport because they say you know it's so embarrassing and appalling yet that's all people seem to do is listen to it on their commute.

I mean, it's going to be a hazard. It's just when people have said that their headphones have fallen out and our voices are just beaming across the tube network saying... Especially the last step. Oh, my goodness. The last step was... That was pretty intense. How are you feeling after that, Al?

I felt rejuvenated now, but it has taken me a full week. Actually, how are you feeling about that, Jamie? Because I've realised, you know, we always have to keep in mind, your dad wrote this. Oh, that fact has never been lost on me, James. I've started to forget. Yeah, you guys just think, oh, this is so awful. Try being the spawn of hockey, it's not fun. Just as a, like, kind of check-in, how is he feeling about the dramatisation, if you will, of his work? He's actually really oddly proud of us. He was saying the other day that he's really happy with it. He's become obsessed with Twitter.

He follows... Rocky Flintstone's on Twitter. I'm not sure if he even has a Twitter account. I think he just follows our stream and he just gets very excited every time somebody new tweets about it. So guys, thank you for keeping Rocky up at night and annoying the hell out of my mother,

because apparently all he does is say, I've got another two followers. I've got another one follower. It's been 20 minutes and we haven't had any followers. Oh no, I love that Rocky's like kind of emotional state is hanging in the balance. Cause somebody tweeted, I can't remember who it is.

Sorry, whoever you are. But they said, was it a coincidence that Blinda Blinked is 69 pages long? My dad was just loving that. Mum was like, I don't really get that. Like, is that a joke? And dad was like, oh, for God's sake, Wilmer. Of course it's, do you not get it?

And mum's like, well, what is it? I can't bear it. And he said, it's obvious. A six and a nine are the shape of a naked lady. You put them together and they look like a naked woman. That's right, Rocky. Honestly. Do they? A they a no they don't b dad what are you on and i had to just be like guys because they were like debating this for a while and i was like i just have to put them out there misery did you correct them yeah i just said

guys it's actually a sexual position i want to uh take that home with you and uh dissect on your own time you know that's going to be in the next book, a 69. I'm really, really stuck trying to work out if it's an aerial view of a woman or just like a Belinda-style droopy boob on one side and a pert one on the other. I don't know. Because it's almost a sphere, really, if they're together. That's so confusing. Bless him, though.

I thought he knew everything there was to know about sex. Really? Have you not read the book? Oh, no, you're right. Yeah, he knows literally nothing James if I didn't exist I'd question whether my dad had ever had sex So I don't know where you're getting that idea You're adapted Oh my god maybe I am

What a way to find out Oh my god I'd be really upset but also quite relieved at the same time Then the podcast would be not worth doing You would not be an heir to the Belinda fortune Well let's stop right now so chapter what are we on

chapter 10 we're on chapter 10 today yeah really double figures first time that's quite exciting isn't it

a one and a an oh rather like the shape of a naked lady a cock and balls it's a naked Jim Sterling oh so what's chapter 10 called

chapter 10 is called the horse and jockey oh yes we're back to the pub yeah she was traveling back wasn't she at the end of the last chapter yes she was yeah she'd stolen the duchess land rover and was like bombing it back to town experience of caravanning she didn't have to bring the whole thing that was potentially my favorite line of last chapter actually okay bel Okay. Belinda Blinked. Chapter 10. The Horse and Jockey.

Yes. The signposts were true to their word. What? Oh, God. This is the quickest interruption yet. what because oh god this is the quickest interruption yeah I mean why wouldn't they be

why wouldn't they be the signposts were true to their word and Belinda soon found her way to the horse and jockey she manoeuvred the large car

into one of the parking spaces cut the engine and found her way to reception wow ten points for Belinda already I could have helped Rocky with this initial like just right walking spaces, cut the engine and found her way to reception. Wow. 10 points for Belinda already. I could have helped Rocky with this initial, like, just right, Belinda got to the horse

and jockey reception and we could have saved a lot of time. It was now 8pm and she asked the youngish man on duty if dinner was still serving. It's been a long day, hasn't it? She must be ravenous, I tell you what. It's the same day as... It's the same day as the egg and chips she had and the beans that you were bothered about. She went on a tour of the cookshops of London first thing. Oh my God.

She's done a lot today. Also, how old do we feel the youngish man is? What do we think? Is that like 30? Well, he's a man, so he's going to be not under 18, do we think? Also, this is Rocky's definition of youngish. Oh, he could be 53. Because I think Rocky still thinks, you know, he's young at heart. So Rocky's definition of youngish. Oh it could be 53. Because I think

Rocky still thinks you know he's young at heart so he's like youngish 59. She asked the youngest man on duty if dinner was still serving.

It's 8 o'clock can I just say. Yeah. What's the window for dinner if not 8 o'clock? That's where I normally book a

table for. Yeah 8 o'clock's pram time. There's still 20 more minutes left for all 20 minutes 20 20 minutes to get an order in also what cutoff point is 20 past the hour breakfast is served from 6 16 until 8 17 And dinner finishes at 8.20. Belinda, just order another beans on toast and you'll be fine. There's still 20 more minutes left for orders, madam. And might I add how extremely attractive you are looking this evening.

Are you joking? She's been through the mill! She's been through the mill. She's dressed in like ripped jodhpurs and like... No, they're not ripped. Oh, stolen. Yeah, stolen. God, I'm writing my own book here, aren't I?

It's right to presume everything she's wearing is ripped. Usually it is. Belinda grinned and wondered if he had recognised the clothes or was just fishing for a bit of sex later on that night. It's a fair question to ask, yeah. Also not using a verbal response, as has become Belinda's trademark. It finishes at 8.20 and you look really nice.

Grin. Grin, blink. Hang on, let her finish. Don't get on your high horse, literally. Belinda grinned and wondered if he had recognised the clothes or was just fishing for a bit of sex later on that night. Whatever. She didn't want to disappoint, so she replied,

Why, thank you. How very gentlemanly of you to say so, especially as I'm dining alone. Belinda, not everyone wants a shag. Some people are just complimenting you. Especially want a shag from Belinda. She's not everyone's type. Especially people who work for tips.

No offence. Oh, do you think he's just laying on the flattery in the chart? He's a bellboy, isn't he? A bellboy? What year is it? He smiled in return and nodded slowly, as if confirming he might be available that evening. Well, I think she's read into that nod, hasn't she? A nod can't really say you may be available this evening.

Yeah, she's reaching a bit there, isn't she? I think it can just be like... Nodless nod. Yeah. Thumbs up. Yeah, you crazy lady. A slow nod as well is basically like i'm pushing the alarm below the desk please book me in for dinner i'll be down in 10 minutes certainly madam belinda asked for her key and went immediately to her room she quickly spruced herself up and

viewed the mirror yes she agreed i do look extremely attractive in a very raw, sexy way in this riding gear. Agreed with who? Oh, the bellboy? Yeah, I love that her internal monologue is way chattier than her actual self. I think this is a must-new style for me. Hopefully Peter Rouse will feel the same. It's a must-new style.

That's not a sentence. Interesting syntax again. Hopefully Peter Rowles will feel the same. However, there was no time to lose. She was famished. She hadn't eaten since that very quick lunchtime barbecue, and she needed strength for the rest of what was going to be a very active evening. Oh, my God.

We forgot the barbecue. I don't remember having any barbecue. Was that at the Tombola? That's what you guys got confused with the beans oh no she had a full english no that's again was created by you she only had scrambled eggs at a barbecue she had scrambled eggs in the morning and then she went to the barbecue james thought there was beans there turned out it was a sausage or something no you thought she had beans with the eggs oh okay i mean can't. I mean, who cares? But I think what this is telling us is...

Listeners, I do apologise. But I think what this is telling us is, you know, you're complaining about the lack of detail. It means you can, you know, add your own spin on it. Like, put your own details in. Well, there is one surefire way to know if she ate the beans or not, and that is to buy the book, available on Amazon, everybody. Absolutely.

Nice plug, Jamie. Thank you. She ran down to the dining room, got shown her table and immediately ordered a bottle of Chardonnay. Chilean, of course. Of course. Of course.

When I'm absolutely famished as well, I'm like, what I need first is a bottle of wine. I'm so hungry, just straight for the bottle. Belinda prided herself on knowing her wines. Her father, after all, was a sales manager for one of the big wine cellars in central London. And he had spent many evenings training her in one of the best sales techniques

for getting clients to buy without remorse. Hang on, he taught her to like shag around? Ew, ew! Oh no, Bobby Blumenthal taught her this? My dad taught me a sales technique. We found our series too. So was Mr. Blumenthal always handcuffed to a trellis? I don't understand which bit was the bit that he taught her.

He had spent many evenings training her in one of the best sales techniques for getting clients to buy without remorse. Drinking very good wine and lots of it. So not sex. Should have just let that sentence finish sentence yeah sorry we were premature there belinda dined at her leisure no she didn't for 10 minutes unless she means like she likes having a food blended and then having it through a straw

gross belinda dined at her leisure and for the first time that day she felt she wasn't under pressure well of course she did she's not, strapped to a trellis. She's not, like, strapped to a bed. I would feel less under pressure when I wasn't strapped to something. I feel like that's drawing on something that you're agitated about. Seriously, you always have a bit of an overreaction.

What have you been strapped to today? Though her strange clothing didn't fit all that well and made her feel quite hot, she couldn't wait to start removing some of it, she thought wickedly. Go to bed, Belinda. Just have an early night. Have an early night. Watch some, like, rubbish TV. Yeah. Just get some kip.

It's a Saturday night. X Factor will be on or something. Do you know what I mean? Her meal finished, Belinda took the rest of her wine to her room in an ice bucket, where she sipped it slowly. Probably directly out of the bucket if I know Belinda. Class all the way it was now 11 p.m and it was the time wait sorry three hours she did have a leisurely time of it i bet they couldn't wait to get her out of there you did say last orders at 20 past eight she's got a busy evening ahead of her why is she like messing about at dinner for three hours it was now 11 p.m and it was time for Peter to make an appearance.

Belinda went down to the lobby where she ordered another bottle of Chardonnay. Popped it into the... That'll see her through till 2am. Yeah. Popped it into the replenished ice bucket and waited for Peter. Was it replenished? Oh, good. What's the ice doing?

Has the ice melted? Probably not. Someone's probably replenished it. Yeah, what's the character arc of the ice? Also, where's the youngish man? Is he off duty? Spot on at 11.30, he walked through the lobby door and saw Belinda

immediately. Well, she's got a massive hat on. She's dressed like she's just been to a fox hunt. And I can't imagine the lobby was that busy at 11.30. I feel so special, he spotted me straight away. Love at first sight. She's probably convinced herself of that, to be fair. He opened his hands and kissed her on the cheek.

Opened his hands? Like a book? Is he doing the charades motion for a book? He opened his hands and kissed her on the cheek. Both sides. Not unusual for a sophisticated European. Hang on, when he says cheek, we mean face cheek, right? Not buttock, surely.

That may be coming. I think that's unusual for a European. That's never happened to me. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again. Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind.

A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself. Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit zensurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zensurance. Mind your business. Would you like a drink, Mr. Rouse? Zinsurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zinsurance. Mind your business.

Would you like a drink, Mr. Rouse? Oh, please keep calling me Peter. After all, we are very much acquainted after this afternoon's events. Yeah, I mean, I wrote symbols on you, so we know each other well. I literally splattered your body with hieroglyphics, honey. Have I told you? You have a wonderful body, my dear, and much, much better without the mud. Well, whose fault was that? You're the one who's caking her in the stuff. They both laughed and Peter said, I do like your current outfit, Belinda. Very much in tune with this hotel. Great small talk. Brilliant. Well done, Peter. Belinda gently blushed she couldn't

tell him how she'd acquired the clothing and she really did enjoy wearing it that's true that's going to be a mood killer straight after i texted you i went to the duchess's house and she stuck a riding crop up me there's no easy way is there to break that unfortunately she's already had dinner because that would be a kind of like midway through mains like, did me say. You know how we had sex and it was really amazing and we had that connection. And a couple of other things. I stole her car and I've left her unconscious at her house. And also she's quite old and saggy.

Anyway, what did you do today? Do you have a diary? Oh my God, the diaries of Belinda Blink are amazing. Spin off. Oh no, don't because someone's going to nick that now. Copyright. I do like wearing adventurous garments, Peter, and I hoped these would tweak your interest.

Tweak? Tweak your interest? That's not the phrase. I don't want to tweak anyone's interest, thank you very much. Put your interest away. Just peak your interest, Rocky. Top marks. Is that what they say in the show Jumping Circles? No.

Belinda replied quickly. I'm more of a fox-chasing type of person myself. Top marks. Is that what they say in the show Jumping Circles? No. Belinda replied quickly. I'm more of a fox-chasing type of person myself. Belinda likes fox hunting. Ha ha ha. Very good, Belinda. I do enjoy your style of humour. Sorry. Alert me to when that begins.

At least someone does. How did the joke begin? Yeah, I was going to say, how far back should we go? What was the joke? I think the book's the joke. I do enjoy your style of humour. Now let's have some of that delicious wine. Belinda poured Peter a glass and leant back on the leather settee. Peter sat beside her and gently fondled her left thigh.

In the lobby? How do you fondle a thigh? Just like pat a thigh, don't you? Caress gently. Yeah, I don't do you fondle a thigh? Just like pat a thigh, don't you? Caress gently. Yeah, I don't think you fondle. I hope if this is going to go any further, they take it into a more private setting. Don't sit in the lobby. Yeah, do you think they're sat at that bit where always in the window it's like, it's been in the kind of B&B guide and they've always got all the leaflets for things to see in the area.

Aladdin in Pantone. There's usually like a butterfly center or like some kind of like salt museum yeah peter could we position some of our pots and pans range in your supermarkets oh that's what she meant when when dad wrote she's going to get down to business he means literally business actual business and leadership oh my god if you were peter you'd be like sorry what you'd be like gear change yeah you'd think because of that scenario because he's fondling a thigh you'd be like yeah i can position some of my pots and pans in your supermarket supermarket that's some work though does it but you'd be clutching at straws the thing is though i think because they're all here under the pretense of it being a business kind of networking event,

maybe they're all used to having their sexual fantasies fulfilled whilst discussing business. This is the worst way to do business. I think it's a great way to do business. Oh, you do, do you? It's kind of old school. You're a Flintstone. You probably think it's absolutely conventional. Absolutely, Peter replied.

In fact, this afternoon, we've just ordered 3 3 000 units of your oxy brillo range who's naming these products hands up if you're guys um quicker brains name brainstorm uh oxy brillo brainstorm over sold meeting adjourned off to the pentra i'm glad that only took two minutes cheers in fact this afternoon we've just ordered 3 000 units of your oxy brillo range to get you started and my purchasing team are looking at other products of yours which will fit into our present range of kitchen utensils so she needn't have bothered with like before she was strapped to the trellis they'd already ordered the oxy-billory. Do you mean before?

Well, he said this afternoon. He must have done it before the... I think after. That is gutting, if that's the case. No, I think he had sex with her, discovered that she was amazing, then put his order in. But if it was before? I'd be like, can I see the PO form, please?

And I'd check the time. Because I have been used. Don't say PO form. It's turning Jamie on on all this business chat yeah wow belinda gasped and opened her legs slightly calm yourself belinda peter quickly took advantage and moved his hand higher up her thigh no no look go to your bedroom and then do all this business or at least one thing at a time if If we're talking business, talk business. Then get that finished with and then go, you know,

a bit of slap and tickle, but don't combine the two. It's a classic mixing business and pleasure. Well, quite. That's what that phrase is about. Belinda undid her cravat. Cravat? Oh, my God, sexy. Belinda undid her cravat and slowly unbuttoned the top four of her shirt buttons.

Four to me says boobs are showing. Well, it's funny you should say that because the next line is, her delicious cleavage was now on view. That doesn't surprise me. Peter quickly moved his other hand to fondle her left breast. Just one of them. Just one tit. I love that it's like Twister.

Like right hand into groin, left hand onto breast. Peter quickly moved his other hand to fondle her left breast and rubbed the nipple showing through the white linen. You alright? Sometimes I just need to mime it out just to see if it's actually physically

possible because sometimes... That worried me. I didn't know what you were doing there. That was getting a bit close to me. It was right in your face. Sorry. And do you think this is passable as an action? Yeah, I do think he's going to kind of look slightly odd. But I think...

Like he's operating a machine or something. A bit like he's kind of... Rubbing his tummy and patting his head. Yeah, there's one of those kind of motions going on. He's skillful then. At least it's happening in the foyer of a hotel and not somewhere strange. No problem, Belinda. After all, your company's products are top class, if a little expensive,

and I'm sure we can overcome that little problem between us. As he's just holding a boob. And rubbing the nipple. Rubbing the nipple. Not a time to criticise your prize pool, in my opinion, but maybe it's why I haven't advanced in business. Yes, Belinda gasped. Her sense is working

overtime between Peter's massaging her very upper thigh and breast. Her very upper thigh. I have access to some marketing incentives which will help. What? She's brilliant. This is the sexiest, sexiest dirty talk I have ever heard. Seriously.

Shh, Belinda. Yeah, seriously, shh. Just relax. Shush now, Belinda. Shush, shushy. Shut up, let me talk. Shh, Belinda. Just relax, said Peter.

We can discuss this all at the office next week in Amsterdam when you come to visit me. He brought it up? Precisely. Exactly, hypocrite. I've gone right off, Peter. I love that you hadn't gone off him when he started writing strange symbols on her back. Well, I thought he was going to be a bit more exciting. I thought he was going to be a kind of, I don't know.

I just thought he'd be something. Underneath it, he's just a hard-nosed businessman. He is, isn't he? They all are. All the same. All the same. All the same. Beasts. You think you've got a relationship and then they invoice you.

We can discuss this all at the office next week in Amsterdam when you come to visit me. Am I? replied Belinda. Oh, yes, of course. I really can't wait. Well, let's make it Thursday, okay? Yes, yes, I'll be there. But now, said Peter, let's get down to some real business. Good one, Peter.

He slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on Belinda's shirt. No, no, no. He slowly took her out of the foyer to the bedroom. Also, love all the mentions of buttons. He slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on Belinda's shirt And let her full oval breasts fall out Oval Oval

Oval Oval Oval This is where I think the 69 looks more Oh Imagine a 69 as a boob Oval breasts I'm not sure they

Yeah, okay It's none of my business It's fine Better than pomegranates Well, I was going to say, they're kind of morphing all the time. They're changing shape. Were they pomegranates?

Were they hers? No, Giselle's. Yeah, I was going to say. To be fair. Oh, yeah, I think they were described as shapely, and obviously that shape is oval. In one fluid movement, he tucked her shirt into the back of her jodhpurs

and started kissing her. Why would he tuck her in? That's very bizarre. Her boobs are out, so what's he keeping concealed? No, never show your lower back. We're in reception. It's like taking down her trousers and tying her shoes. What a weird combination. Belinda groaned.

She could never resist the soft male touch of a mouth on her nipples are you ok? mhm she never could resist it Jamie she needs to learn she could never resist the soft male touch of a mouth on her nipples

and Peter was exquisite in his sensuality sorry that just repeated on me we're all there above his head in the corner of the lobby oh no what's your face saying what was it alphonse's head popped through a window belinda noticed a red light blinking what What does that mean? It was a security camera. No doubt recording what was going on. Oh, gosh.

Her mind thought of the young man behind the desk when she checked in. Her mind thought. She thought. She thought. Is this a new character? Belinda's mind? You don't need to say what part of the body is doing the thinking. It's her mind.

It's her brain. That's fine. I don't know. Her clit can do a lot of thinking, too. We're mainly chatting, to be fair. That's true. It was more the back chat. Never thinks before it talks, that clit.

Her mind thought of the young man behind the desk when she checked in. Yes, that was it. He was building his profile of her for his personal use no they've got a security camera they didn't expect you to start shagging in the middle of reception he didn't rig it up half an hour before thinking oh just in case when she went for a 20 minute dinner he didn't think oh i'm glad i brought that home kit of like cctv equipment i'll skype her from my house not all about you belinda big head yeah seriously oval. Oval head. Oval boob. A wicked thought entered her

mind. She would give him a session to record and Peter roused a very good time into the bargain. I knew it. He's just a voyeur this youngish man. Oh yeah of course. And guys that is the end of chapter

ten. You are joking. That's the end of chapter 10. You are joking. That's the end of chapter 10. So she's about to do a porno sesh. Basically, turns out Dad isn't just writing a porno, but there's now going to be a porno in the porno. What's the next chapter called? I can't believe that's the end. Can we guess what the next chapter's called?

Is it called The Porno? The Webcam. The Webcam. The next chapter is called Sunday Night, 11.55pm. Great. Snappy title. It's not Sunday Night. Is it Sunday Night? It's Saturday Night.

Unless we jump ahead now. No, no. I'm sure it's probably still the same night. Yeah. That would be consistent with Rocky's style. Yeah. Sunday Night, 11.55pm. I don't know what to make of that i feel

like the character of peter's entirely changed yes he's become a right sap and then actually when he was in the maze he was you know quite studly and quite um mysterious he swept her off her feet but maybe he just looked good in comparison to what she just had which was jim sterling yeah to be fair it's a good person jim sterling's a good person to follow actually jim sterling's probably quite a good person to have like a little photo of on your mirror you know in the morning when you're just like feel really low and i look a bit shit oh no i'm fine life's great next he'd be he'd be a good like warm-up guy wouldn't he send him in first all the time poor jim who's gonna play jim in the film actually that's gonna be a tiny penis who'd ever sign on for doing in the film actually that's going to be a tough one he's got a tiny penis

who'd ever sign on for doing it well they won't they'll have to be CGI a CGI penis or CGI Jim Sterling I don't think we even need a big budget for that

wow so that was quite sex light again yeah but I feel like it's kind of teed up the next chapter quite nicely

I think we know what we're going to be getting next Monday so guys do get in touch. I think we know what we're going to be getting next Monday. So guys, do get in touch with us. Let us know what you think of the book and the podcast so far. We're on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Just Google My Dad Wrote a Porno. You'll find us. Also, please

head over to Amazon and buy the book. Let us know what you think of The Horse and Jockey. I'd definitely stay there. Oh my god, do you think it actually exists? And if it doesn't, we should set one up. Shall I do a quick Google? There'll be like a thousand horse and jockeys, surely. There is one. Where?

In Ravensden, Bedford. I think this is exactly where it's set. It sounds just like Ravensden. If there's a maze near Ravensden and a small chalet. Guys, there's CCTV. And dinner ends at 8.20. It's the place. Oh my God, we found it.

We need to go. Let's go now. James, start gunning the engine. We're going. Get the Land Rover going. To the horse and jockey. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance?

Think again. Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself.

Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit zinsurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zinsurance, mind your business.