My Dad Wrote A Porno - S5E5 - 'Smiffy'

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Belinda and Spooner head to East Berlin in an effort to find Professor Slinz and bring Herr Bisch and Giselle to justice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porno. Guys, Belinda is on her first mission with MI5 was it MI6 who even knows well let's not get

ahead of ourselves she's trained to do the mission whether Rocky's deciding that she's about to go on that mission is another story or whether

she's just going to go back to the office oh that's true and do some admin but he did end the last chapter with next stop East Berlin

or something so hopefully but she could still be going back to the office picking up her passport you know finding a key card there could be a room at steel's called east berlin and he's got us all but she passed her espionage training uh with um well she attended her hour half day at most training yeah uh rads with garamima sent frost first oh yes and she pretended she found her

attractive. That was the biggest Psyche Psyche ever. That was a great pullback reveal. That was very funny. I did enjoy that.

Yeah that was good. Good acting. Who knew Belinda was so talented. She's wasted in pots and pans. Who would Belinda play in a film?

Who would Belinda be like the perfect role for? Oh what Belinda being in a film? If she was an like the perfect role for oh what Belinda being in a film if she was an actress oh that's a good question that's a psyche psych

on our normal question of who would play Belinda yeah I don't fully understand the question because I'm so confused by how meta it is well I think any kind of Bond girl

Catwoman Catwoman I was going to say like a superhero like someone in the Marvel films or something like Black Widow or something like that

is there someone that works with pots and pans a lot in the film biz? Julia and Julia. She could have played the Meryl Streep role in Julia and Julia. Oh, yeah. Ratatouille. She could play the rat.

She could play one of the rats. In the live... I'm sure they're going to do a live action Ratatouille. Oh, yeah. How are you so sure of that? Because they're doing everything else. Mrs Doubtfire. That specific scene.

You know that bit where her boobs are on fire over the stove? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it would be Belinda's real boobs, just lots of Vaseline, all that fire perception stuff. You dressed up as that once. I did. Very good costume. Thank you, yeah, yeah.

Go to James's Instagram for the proof. If you'd like to see some of my Halloween outfits from over the years. Scroll back. So what's the next chapter called? Yes, indeed. Are we going? The next chapter is called Smithy. Smithy.

Smithy with an F. Smithy with a double F, yeah. S-M-I-F-F-Y. Smithy. Don't Smithys make, like, whoopee cushions and things? They make, like, joke shop items. That's incredible knowledge. Why would you know the manufacturer of a whoopee cushion?

Because they used to have one as a child. Well, no, I had a whoopee cushion, but I didn't contact the manufacturer. Did you have a whoopee cushion? Did everyone have a whoopee cushion when they were a kid? I didn't. That was hours of fun. I was spending too much time in the club theatre. Oh, sorry, no, they do fancy dress for all occasions.

I'm sure they did, like, joke stuff as well, though. I'll take your word for it. Oh, for being No, they do fancy dress for all occasions. I'm sure they did like joke stuff as well, though. I'll take your word for it. Oh, for being undercover, maybe. A costume for undercover. Unlike Dad to use a real company, though. Wait, she's going to get a clown costume or something. There's your Catwoman costume sorted out. This was the thing.

We said that she needs to really disappear into whatever role she plays, because otherwise Giselle will know who she is. Let's see if we're going to Smithies. According to this, it is a registered trademark. So get ready for the lawyers, guys. Oh, God. And I would like to just say quickly before we start today, apologies in advance for any accent work,

because honestly, I don't even know where to begin. Okay. Is it all dialogue? It's a dialogue-heavy chapter, guys. People are finally talking in a Belinda Blink book. Right. Belinda Blinked 5. Chapter 5.

Smithy. East Berlin Flügehafen. Oh, God. Flügehafen was wet and cold. That's the airport, we presume. I am guessing so. And Belinda shivered in the relative heat of Spooner's butt cheeks. Eh? What?

She shivered in the heat? In the relative heat. Hang on. She's in his butt? She shivered in the heat. In the relative heat. Hang on, she's in his butt cheeks. Well, I was coming to that. Don't you worry. She got her hands in there like a... Yeah, maybe. Like one of those muffs you put your hands in.

A furry little tush. It's Harry Potter. Who knows who got one? So, yeah. So, she's in the relative heat of Spooner's butt cheek. She is, or her hands are. She. She placed her brand new fake passport into her zip-up-and-see-through-it plastic travel document pouch.

He's got round that, though, hasn't he? It's not a Ziploc. No, and it's all capitalised. So, zip-up-and-see-through-it. No, and it's all capitalised. So zip up and isn't capitalised. See through and it. So zip up and see through it. Plastic travel document pouch. Safe as a sardine in a can lost under the stairs.

That is safe. You forget it's there. You'll never go looking for it. Because why would you store your sardines there? It's the last place you'd look. Why does it have to be see-through just out of interest? Because I know you have to have see-through bags for security for your fluids. I think that's for your benefit, so you can see that you have all your own documents.

Right. And, you know, check that no one's nicked it or, you know, it's still there. Okay, but a thief could see that there is a passport in the see-through bag, because it's see-through, and steal said passport. So you think that it's encouraging crime. It's increased risk. Yeah, it's a self-defeating item. Okay.

But it is trademarked in the book. So zip up and see through it. Then, in a quicker than average 45 minutes... Quicker than average 45 minutes? That feels like a standard measure, doesn't it? 45 minutes always being the same. What's the 45 minutes for, sorry? They were through

the incompetent queues oh right from checking through the immigration quicker than average 45 fine quicker than average

45 minutes they were through the incompetent queues Belinda's spy passport Nate okay does it say spy on it I bet it says spy on it

but what do you think her name has been given her as her alias Melinda I was going to say Blumenflal Blumenflal

yeah okay Belinda's spy passport named her as Belinda Smith oh shut up brilliant

brilliant well if Giselle recognises her she'll double take because she'll think, I think that's Belinda Blumenthal, but this says Belinda Smith, so... Named her as Belinda Smith, and she was excited about exploring her alter ego. Yes, wow, so much room for exploration. Yeah, Belinda Smith sounds like a hoot.

You've chosen a more boring name. No offence if you call Belinda Smith sounds like a hoot. You've chosen a more boring name. No offence if you call Belinda Smith. Spooner had started to call her Smithy. Oh! We're in the clear. We're in the clear. We're not getting sued this time. Don't speak so soon.

I mean, I wouldn't want any association between my brand and these books. Spooner had started to call her Smithy on the light aircraft of Globe Trotter Airlines. Question about the airline that they've chosen. Globe Trotter Airlines. Mmm. No, actually I don't have a question, never mind.

Okay. She wasn't sure whether this was an old spy technique that fitted in with his new shaggy red wig and horned specs so accepted it's okay horn rimmed not horned okay horns it's got horns on them that sounds like they're viking specs also no one's going to rumble these two are they a shaggy red wig and horned specs and belinda smith you would describe my hair as shaggy and red don't pick it if you get to pick your wig

so we presume they're together on whatever the mission is they're not going to split up yeah well maybe they will but for the moment they are together i wonder what their cover is are they like mr and mrs smith well he'll be like James Forks or something, won't he? Jimmy Lado or something. As things on our dear planet called world happen at the same time but in different places, things were happening in East Berlin right there and now. You don't need to explain that to us. We understand.

Right there and now. Also, they're in East Berlin. They've just landed in East Berlin. Honestly, the anticipation is actually killing me. I really want to see what they have to do. Okay, Herr Professor. Where are the blueprints to the Trioxibrillo range? Are we still trying to get these bloody blueprints?

What was the fucking point of stealing the old man? Tell me now and things will not get worse for you very quickly. Sorry, could you just go through what's going to happen again? So I tell you and it doesn't get worse very quickly. Said George in the deepest, darkest, dampest dungeon in the Eastern Hemisphere. The Eastern Hemisphere, I think. Do we divide hemispheres into East and West? I think it was Northern South Hemisphere.

Very much Northern Hemisphere. Right, yes. It was so damp his chest was wheezing as he had quite a strong revulsion of mould of all lilts and flavours. That's like you. Yeah. You've moved me house before. Not dealt very well with it.

I moved you in and I was like, I hate to break it to you all, but I think you've got mould in your new flat. I'll be off then. Rumours swirled that even penicillin would do him sunder. Rumours swirled? Rumours swirled. Who's talking about that?

Who's going, I don't think you can take penicillin. I know nothing, but I can tell you enough to get us all away from this animal we call her bish. Is that slits? Ooh! Yeah, was that not what you'd been spoken about before? Since when?

What was his voice before? Oh, no! Whatever that was. No, wait, he's had an allergic reaction. Is that why he's talking like that? I don't know. Look, I'm not reading it again. Sorry.

Where's slits from again? where's Slintz from again he's from Hanover isn't he oh that's what they sound like in Hanover my bad yeah

I don't know I thought that was Chi Chi the parrot from before fuck off haven't we heard from him before yeah he's definitely

spoken for but never with that voice he's got a is it a lower voice he's German that was German wasn't it come on oh shit I thought it was quite good not good but at least Slintz is like but never with that voice. Is he got a... Is it a lower voice? That was German, wasn't it? Come on.

Oh, shit. I thought it was quite good. Not good, but at least... Slintz is like a clever little man. He's a clever little professor. I know nothing. George sat on a three-legged stool of shaved conifer at the far right-hand ledge of the dungeon.

A pine stool. Yeah. And he laughed like a madman on skunk pills. His accent. What's a skunk pill? What the fuck's a skunk pill? Sorry. It's that one.

Skunk pills. I'll repeat the question. What's a skunk pill? Does he think that's a drug? Yeah. Well, skunk is obviously, but a skunk pill. Dad, as we know from the Terra Max flute, doesn't know much about drugs and the underworld of drug taking.

I'm not much help, to be honest. A skunk pill. And he laughed like a madman on skunk pills. Looking across at Giselle. Giselle was already stripped to her skin-smothered bones. What a horrible way of describing someone. Giselle was already stripped to her skin-smothered bones, and within a few short tippy-toes,

she advanced on Professor Slintz, without a breath of German or French. She smeared her gooey wet vagina all over his snivelling nose and whiskerspecked mouth. As some sort of torture or as a treat? I mean, to a lot of older,

petite scientist men, that's probably quite nice. Yeah, I'd be like, I'm keeping the information if this is what you want. And that comes from somebody repulsed by the human form. Lick me, you academic imbecile, she shouted. Taste my fruit of the womb.

Wait, why do you say fruit of the womb? Fruit of the womb. Well, there is a brand called Fruit of the Loom. So it'll play on that, I think. You would imagine that fruit of the womb? Fruit of the womb. Well, there is a brand called Fruit of the Loom. So it'll play on that, I think. You would imagine that fruit of the womb would be... Would be a baby. Well, that. Or is she on a period?

Ah. Oh, God. I mean, some people are really into that. So, guys, you're being a little bit narrow-minded. Sorry, yeah, you're right, you're right. We don't shame here. We don't judge. I'm very much talking for myself on this occasion.

I'm not trying to represent any period-loving people out there. No. Power to you. Period-loving people. Peace and blood. So, taste my fruit of the womb. Now I think it's a baby, after what James said. Yeah, that's horrible.

Taste my baby. Also, how high up do you think it goes? How long's his tongue? George watched as Slintz's... Double Z. As Slintz's breathing became more and more ragged. There was more moisture in the air, more dampness. It was clear no air could pass between the lids of GMDdk and slints vital organs she's suffocating

in all of an instant his hands fell to the ground what a way to go oh my god she's vajasphyxiated him oh my god is that a real? People don't pass out from going down on people. Well, she's kind of lowered down on him. Yeah. I guess she's like clamped it around him. I mean, no. Clamped it round. You just did a hand gesture that was across the ears as well.

He's a very small man, isn't he? Yeah, but her vagina's not a face hugger. No. Thank you, I'm aware of that, James. Is this going to be our first murder? I don't know. Spooner and Belinda sat down in the lobby making themselves as comfortable as they could on the hard high-tech berlin seating but it was

obvious that something was wrong deeply worryingly wrong their cover backstory, their fake names. Too many staff were hurrying about. Tight-lipped and looking ever so serious. Fuck a cream cracker, Belinda postulated. Rather not. How? More to the point. Punch a hole through the middle.

Or maybe she'd just insert it into her. Or do you have two together and put it on on your penis if you're gonna fuck the cream it's quite a dry rub isn't it fuck a cream cracker Belinda postulated they can't have rumbled us so quickly why we're barely in the front door are you joking

that's enough to rattle her why did she bother going to rads yeah I know, right? I thought she had all the skills. Yeah, yeah. No. Spooner breathed in Boston. In Boston?

Oh. Oh, his new voice. His new voice. What's that? Pack the cash. Get in the car. Get in the car. Belinda.

How do you like them apples or whatever? Oh, yeah. It's Matt David. Yeah. So he's a ginger Bostonian. But with some sort of Scottish heritage. I guess, yeah. He's an Irish quarter. That's true.

So they could mistake him for having a bit of an Irish twang. No. Spooner breathed in Boston. No. Sounds like slints. They all sound like slints. It's not us. It's them. It's not us. I was Sounds like slints. They all sound like slints. It's not us. It's them.

It's not us. Or should I say him? I did apologise in advance. Yes, that's true. Or should I say him?

What? He's got a bit of a cowboy lilt. No, it's him. James pointed across the large lobby to the

lifts where someone in a wheelchair was being pushed outside. Is that Bish? Belinda and Spoons looked at each other. Office drama such as this was not often seen. What the fuck was going on? About 27 minutes later...

Roughly. Give or take. A taller than most brunette woman in her late 30s strode across the lobby and used her words use your words do you think at this point

he's like I'm really really running out of synonyms for said but he can just say said he can just say said it's okay to use said many times throughout a novel.

Hello, I'm Petra, Herbish's personal assistant. I love Petra's voice. Oh, we heard about her, didn't we? We did. We are sorry to keep you waiting, but I'm afraid Herbish has had one of his chronic asthma attacks. Pardon? Asthma attacks. Is she having one?

Hello. Hello. Hi. Hello, I'm just talking to the moldem. Give me one second. Beep, beep. Hello, I'm Petra. One of his chronic asthma attacks.

She's delirious. And it's just been rushed to his private hospital Jamie, move your lips Honestly, are you okay? Um Why won't you sound out the words? One of his chronic asthma attacks Attacks?

Yes Has just been rushed to his private hospital No, his private hospital Why is she four years old She's just using her words However I'm here So I will meet with you both I hope you understand

I hope you understand I hope you understand No I don't understand Sorry what did you just say Not a word sorry Stop listening because of your stupid voice. Could you write it all down? Sorry, am I ruining it?

Sorry. You put a lot of vowels in however. It was the longest. Considering all the other words were so fast. Shall I read it as just in my own accent? No, that's quite all right. No, read it one more time and we won't interrupt. We'll try not to react.

In Petra. In Petra. Hello. I'm Petra. Head'll try not to react. Interrupt him in Petra. In Petra. Hello. I'm Petra, Herr Bisch's personal assistant. We are sorry to keep you waiting, but I'm afraid Herr Bisch

has had one of his chronic asthma attacks and has just been rushed to his private hospital. His private hospital. His private hospital. He livell. He livell. That's what he livell.

I'm here. So I will meet with you both. I hope you understand. Never has, I hope you understand, been more redundant. Oh my God. James glanced across at Belinda and mouthed the word perfecto to her. Why don't you just say perfecto? I'd be like, what? What did you say? Then he found volume of speech for the two females present.

He said? Volume of speech. He said. Again, he said. He said, yeah. Petra. Smithy. Smithy Petra.

Me, T. James T. Done. If they didn't understand Petra, I think Petra's definitely going to have a few understanding there. So Petra. Smithy. Smithy Petra. tea James T done and T is spelt T E A as in spoon I would imagine sure teaspoon well at least he's not acting in any way suspiciously or talking

no really fucking weirdly to be fair I'd imagine he's speaking acting in any way suspiciously or talking really fucking weirdly. To be fair, I'd imagine he's speaking more realistically than me. I haven't been to RADS, so... That's true, that's true. With the introductions completed, Petra promptly led them to the lifts and 72 floors later to her second best back office. 72 floors? It's a big building. Bloody hell.

Is that real? Isn't that the tallest building in the world now? I think it might be. No, it's got to be bigger in America. People have offices on the 72nd floor. Yeah. Oh, that would make me feel weird. Just don't sit by the window.

No, I couldn't. I won't. The windowless office. Oh, there you go. Windowless? On the 72nd floor? What design would make that windowless? The windowless office was large, but Spartan. It seemed to be an East German thing.

I have been approved to inform you that Herr Bisch is indeed very interested in your life insurance company's hard proposals for his remaining years on this earth is petra gonna make it through the night because she honestly sounds like she's being choked but that's interesting they're there under the guise of life insurance yes that is interesting but also quite unbelievable get it before now fucking hell he's really gambling doesn't he yeah surprised anyone will take him also when he's being rushed off Because he's having an asthma attack Is that the time to be like Life insurance?

I imagine Petra's like Oh no that's not him That's somebody else I'll sign the papers for him Oh well wait Please Do not let what just happened This morning alarm you

It is just a precaution on his pet He's literally a cadaver She's like yes we'll sign it So he has instructed me to sign the hard papers on his behalf. Petra innocently stressed the word hard

as she spoke it, looking directly at Spooner. Oh, here we go. What? Oh, hard. Oh, hard. Pack the carousel and smile. James took the hint, countersigned the paperwork and asked if Smithy would be so kind

as to go and make four complete copies. Each document had about 30 to 32 pages, so Belinda knew it would keep her out of the office for the next 30 to 32 minutes. Long enough, she thought, for James to seduce this German bitch and possibly discover where Giselle was holed up. Smithy got up and collected the paperwork. That's Belinda.

Yes, exactly. The photo stateroom is on the floor four. Floor four? She's got to go back down 68 floors Next to the female shithouses You can't miss it, Smithy She's a real charmer, is Petra Female shithouses You can't miss it, Miss Smithy

A sneering look on Petra's face solicited a quick curtsy from Smithy as she quickly left the room. He knows he can still call her Belinda to us. Yeah, I know. It's like, we know that she's at the cover. He's being method, weirdly. Petra can't hear him.

Petra got up from behind her desk and stood in front of Spooner's body. I imagine Petra to be a real stunner. Well, she's taller than average. She's brunette. And what, 30s? So, yeah. Late 30s, yeah late 30s yeah james like that's all i need to know yeah her long legs stretched upwards to her obliquely protruding tits and james started to undo her blouse exposing them for his own and petra's mutual desires.

I've just got this image of a pair of legs with tits at the top. Protruding tits. Yeah. Belinda, oh, she's back to being Belinda. Belinda had lost no time in finding the photostat room. She knocked on the door of the photostat room and let herself in. A young man with thick-rimmed glasses looked up at her She knocked on the door of the photostat room and let herself in.

A young man with thick-rimmed glasses looked up at her from behind a desk, covered in piles of work, waiting to be copied. Is there one photocopier in this whole fucking building? My name is Smith. Frau Petra has sent me to do this work. Thick-rimmed glasses smiled and said, I will be happy to punch your buttons, Smith. I have been authorised to do so by Frau Petra. Okay, so we all know Frau Petra, we've established. I feel like they've only just had this discussion though. Maybe she intercommed down while her protruding tits were around her legs. Maybe, although it seems like a marriage

of two different levels of technology. The photocopier room and some intercom. But fine. He inserted a code into the machine and set the photocopier to work.

Belinda looked at him. Oh God. Deeply and sexually he looked back at her with a look of lust as her eyelashes curled into a smiling couplet. Oh, they curled in his presence?

Like if you're too close to a fire? Yeah. I quite like that, a smiling couplet. That makes one of us. So they're going to have tandem sex now, aren't they? We're going to cut between the different... Mr. T. Oh, my God.

Smithy and whoever this guy is. Oh. Thick-rimmed by name, thick-rimmed by nature, Smithy thought. What does that mean? As she placed his big old bone inside herself. Bone. Bone.

Not boner. Bone. Bone. So there's the T-bone upstairs. Have you ever heard of degloving? No. No, what's that? It's in a book I read.

A guy went down a lamppost, but it had like anti-climb, rough anti-climb stuff on it, and he slid down. He degloved his penis. All the skin came off. What do you mean? So it's just the bone.

What do you mean? What if there is a bone? What? Degloving. No, sorry. I don't even understand. What do you mean? It was just the bone. I don't think there just the bone. What do you mean? What if there is a bone? What? Decloving. No, sorry. I don't even understand. What do you mean? It was just the bone.

I don't think there is a bone. It was just like the tube inside. The tube? The tube inside. He basically unsheathed his penis. Decloving, everyone. Decloving. Wait, so why is there a phrase for it?

It can't happen that often. Is it mainly on fireman's poles? Yeah. It's not just for a penis. It's any time a skin comes completely off your flesh. Oh, James. Sorry, I'm not... You've gone a bit of a funny colour.

Weirdly, my dad's pornography is preferable to this conversation. So thick-rimmed by name, thick-rimmed by nature, Smithy thought as she placed his big old bone inside herself. Big hole bone. The friction was as good as thick-rimmed got to work. Ask his name. Don't waste time. She knew it was working because his trademark specs were steaming up.

Oh. She wiped them with her pinky finger and licked... Eee-er. Eee-er. Eee-ee-ee. What you did. And licked... And licked the moistured condensation with a grunt.

Eee-ee-ee. Oh, off a finger. I thought she was, like, licking the glasses. Well, no, she was doing it. Eee-ee-ee. And then... Eee-ee-ee. That's not sexy.

It's horrible. Smithy was enjoying her new personality like a treat. It turned out Smithy was even louder in the sack than Belinda herself. Oh, so she's worked on that bit of a character. So she was screaming and screeching, all while being drowned out by the chundering photocopier. How loud is the photocopier? That is an old photocopier.

They are quite loud, though, aren't they? Not modern photocopiers. I don't work in an office. Is he doing her copies, or is this part of the backlog? I think he's got straight on hers. Well, you'd like to think so, wouldn't you? Yeah, I too have not really photocopied in recent times. It's not loud enough to drown out Belinda's screaming orgasm.

Trust me. We'll take your word for it. Some people have found out the hard way. Thick-rimmed body was good and hard. And his ass cheeks were round. Oh. Right, James. Sorry. Suddenly into thick-rimmed, aren't you?

Smithy's own anatomical extremities were also having fun. But Smithy didn't much fancy the clean-up of post-sex. So, as thick-rimmed began to cry, with the climax... Oh, a crier. We've got a crier. She gently pushed his chest back out popped his penis just as white matter gunked over his head and onto the station over his penis head well

actually just as white matter gunked over his head and onto the station guillotine behind. Oh. Not clear, is it? Very much not clear. Seconds after the bonking, thick-rimmed, fell asleep. Fell asleep? This doesn't bode well for the 35-page documents, does it? Asleep as deep as the soul of Aretha and as high...

What's that? Aretha Franklin. Deep as the soul of Aretha. Soul music as opposed to the soul? Aretha Franklin deep as the soul of Aretha soul music as opposed to the soul of Aretha asleep as deep as the soul of Aretha and as high as a blue tit soaring above us all

it was then Smithy pounced she pulled her thong up her business it really is her business she pulled her thong up her business. It really is her business. She pulled her thong up her business and smoothed down her pencil skirt with a plum.

With a plum? A space plum. A, where's she pulling the plum from? Pulling it down with a plum. That's a plom, I think, as well. Yeah, I think so. Her eye wandered casually over to the piles of work,

upon work, upon work. One pile caught her attention. She would be asked many times afterwards in many debriefs what exactly had attracted her to that particular file she could only answer it was a highly intuitive woman's thing so she's she's already looking forward to when she's getting commendations for what great work it is before she's even looked at this file yeah that's quite that's quite a new way of writing isn't it for dad like he's basically like this is a big moment she's about to She's about to find something here. On your first mission, though, to be like,

people are going to pat me on the back. Before you've even looked at it. I mean, confidence. She's always been quite arrogant. She has. Haughty. What did she do with the plum just out of interest? After she'd straightened her skirt, where's the plum gone?

That's ruined, that plum. She could only answer it was a highly intuitive woman's thing. And I bet it says top secret and big letters on it. A pink coloured cover. There we go. Okay. Stands out, doesn't it? A single line of writing.

Oh, for God's sake. A small file with one piece of paper compared to the... Don't put it in a file. It's one piece of paper. A small file with one piece of paper compared to the obesity of the hundreds of others. Don't file shame, please.

It was so obtrusive, it just had to be taken up, opened and looked at. Well, go on then, do it. Belinda surreptitiously looked around the snoring, thick-rimmed glasses and picked up the small file.

Yes, yes, we get it. Have a look, tell us what it is. She inspected the one line on cover, which said... On cover? On cover. On the cover? On cover. Just says on cover.

On cover. She inspected the On cover. Just says on cover. On cover. She inspected the one line on cover, which said, Wolfgang Bisch, persönlich und geheim. I assume that means private and confidential. Ah. Yeah, me too. Brilliant. Belinda's heart beat faster, her pussy dribbled and her nipples fluttered.

What does that mean? What does that trio of symptoms mean? This was truly spy stuff. That's what they all say. Belinda blinked. And that's the end of the chapter. Oh my God. Wow. Belinda blinked and that's the end of the chapter oh my god wow not the most sophisticated spy work

I've ever heard it sounds like she basically stumbled across it doing something else I also think if it's so important I mean we don't actually know if it is yet

she may well open it and it'll have in it his holiday leave or something but if it is really important would you just leave it lying around with thick rims yeah can you copy ten of these well, open it and it'll have in it his holiday leave or something. But if it is really important, would you just leave it lying around with thick rims? Yeah. Can you copy 10 of these?

Why does it need copying? It doesn't need copying. If it's a top secret memo. And what's he going to say inside? Giselle's in the dungeon. Here's the dungeon. Is that what they're looking for? That's all they're looking for, right?

Yeah, I guess they are, aren't they? Yeah, what are they looking for, actually? Giselle? Yeah, what are they doing? Or are they looking for the what are they looking for actually Giselle yeah what what are they doing or are they looking for the blue no yeah Giselle they want to just

bring Giselle to justice and rescue slints that's what they're doing there who might be dead oh yeah from vagisphyxiation or whatever it is oh quite yeah

very serious condition I don't think he is actually thinking about it more I feel like he's like after what happened with Bella I feel like he'll be using her as one of those breathing apparatus

so when he breathes in her ears will flap or something there'll be something physically impossible that your dad's invented about the shape of water precisely so there we go yeah I mean spy stuff is happening

or as she would say this is really spy stuff I mean it's the most basic spice. He's in a fucking ginger wig that he probably got from Smithies, let's face it. Hell, it is quite exciting. Yeah, well, I mean, however you feel, we have been building to this point for a while, so it's good that it's actually happening.

Yeah, I mean, this is actual payoff potentially. Whereas previous books have been dashed, we never had the hope for so long yeah yeah yeah I mean stuff's actually happening even if it ended now I'm like well we had some spy stuff

don't get my hopes up I'm excited for a Belinda Giselle face to face or a Belinda Bish face to face if that would have I mean he's probably

dead now but you know that would have been nice what you think Bish is dead he's been rushed to his personal hospital. Oh right okay. Having an asthma

attack. James is callous you know what he's like. He's dead to him. He's like moved on. Over it yeah so please come back next week to find out what the hell's in that very small pink file. So we're thinking it's one page of information. Yes.

Maybe less. Maybe a line or two. Exactly. I mean what could it possibly say? I of information yes maybe less maybe a line or two exactly i mean what could it possibly say i've got to hope it's a line or two otherwise we'll be here for hours as long as petra doesn't read it i'm fine i hope it's in the language code word which she's of course learned but do come back next week um in the meantime get in touch instagram is at my dad wrote her Twitter is dad wrote a porno if you have something lengthy and boring

to write a la Rocky just write to my dad wrote a porno at gmail.com and have we mentioned we're going on tour I don't think we have

we have a little world tour next year where are we going we are going to Australia we are we are going to New Zealand we are we are going to Ireland

okay yep we're staying near home we're going to the UK we are going to Europe and we are going to New Zealand. We are. We're going to Ireland. Okay, yep. We're staying near home. We're going to the UK. We are going to Europe and we are going to America. We're going all over the shop. Yeah, celebrating Belinda's dirty 30. It's Belinda's birthday party. You've got to come.

It's going to be wild. It's going to be lit. It is. Tunt. Now, you know how I feel about parties, but this one I will not miss because obviously... Contractual obligation. Contractual obligation. But I think that this is the perfect thing to come to with friends.

Previously, we've had people come on their own. You're welcome to. But this one is going to be like, get a gaggle together. Absolutely. Dress up and have the best party of the year. If you want to get your invite, you'd have to pay for your invite, unfortunately. Just go to mydadwroteaporno.com slash live. Yeah, all the info's there, all the dates, and how to get your tickets it's gonna be really good fun can you

how would petra say goodbye jamie hello goodbye bye hello goodbye bye