My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 249 - Clear of Debris

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

In this week’s quilt episode, Karen and Georgia cover serial killer Lavinia Fisher and murderer Byron David Smith.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And welcome. To my favorite murder. How are you? How are you? This is a podcast. That's how we are. That's Karen Kilgariff. That's Georgia Hartstark.

Thanks for having us in your ears. What's going on in here? Ooh. Are you cold? What's that smell? What was that thing? We started sending each other pictures of tweezers, pulling. Was that some hair being pulled out of cat's ears?

No, it was poodles. I found videos of hair, like long hair dogs get hair like stuck in their ear, you know? And then there's videos of like groomers yanking it out and the dogs give another my favorite thing in the world. And they're right to be making that noise and shivering in disgust because I cannot figure it out. Like that. The zip popping videos.

Also love. Like all the different. I can't figure out how I feel about it. Oh, you don't. You don't. You're not like absolutely love or hate. You're like. It feels like attraction repulsion.

It feels like I'm not sure I want to look away. I can't. That's disgusting. I don't want to see it. I can't stop looking at it. Like it's a real, I guess that's part of the appeal for people. I love it purely and with the pure heart and soul, but then I can't watch like people getting punched like stuff like that upsets me a lot.

Oh, that's what I, that's what I am looking for. Like when there's going to be a fight on like, you know, on the Senate floor or something, I can't. I get so upset and I feel so bad for everyone involved and I don't know, you know, when they box and stuff on the Senate floor, you know, what's really funny is my sister, there were some video that went viral recently of somebody getting punched. And my sister, I was like, I can't remember how we were talking about it. But at the same time, we both started laughing and we're, because people were flipping out

of like, oh, this person got punched or whatever. Yeah. And at the same time we're like, that was not even a good fight. That was not even a good punch. And then we started laughing because when we were in college, my sister hung out with this group of guys who, and they were, it was all people from my high school, like a huge group of people from my high school went to Sacramento together. And some of my cousins, like there was a whole bunch of us up there.

And so everyone would go, I mean, I couldn't, my sister was old enough to go to these bars on the weekend, but she would go with this group of guys who at the end of the night would absolutely fight someone in the street. And it was just going to happen because they were going to get drunk and they were going to start a fight with somebody. And so like someone they didn't know or part of their group, it just depended, but usually it was someone they didn't know. And so my sister, they would, you know, end up standing outside black Angus or wherever

the fuck they would be. And you know, my sister's in her like guest mini skirt and arms crossed all rolling her eyes. And then there's all, there was always like girlfriends standing next to her, like crying and going, stop it, stop it. And she'd be like, just be quiet. It's going to be over in like five minutes. Don't worry about it.

She's playing her part. That's her part. It's going to get really upset. And meanwhile, my sister's like checking her watch and she does like, yeah, this is what happens every weekend. It doesn't need to be that big of a deal. Oh God. So funny.

I'm not into fighting. Love fighting. It scares me. It scares me. And like, and it's also just like the way people's face looks when they face look, when they realize that getting punched hurts, even though they've been talking a lot of shit. And they're like, oh, this is real. I don't like that feeling, like that feeling of that cold washing over you of, oh, this

is fucking happening. Yeah. Well, very true. And I do not envy boys and men who have to get sometimes feel that they have to get into that situation. Like they just, that's the only choice they have, or they have like a smart mouth or a bad personality and they get themselves in that situation. But at the same time, and I think it's because my dad was just kind of like a real big guy.

So I never had to, I just knew that if anything happened, I was with the guy that was going to win. Totally. He's bigger than everybody. And he was scary, we even not punching anybody. He could be scary enough to make people go away. He's an intimidating presence. And actually, you know, Vince's dad always said is, when he was, Vince was a kid, Vince's

dad said to him, don't start any fight, but finish every fight. Yes. Which I love so much, which is, I think how you should live your life. Completely like you don't let people walk on you, but you, you don't look for trouble. My mom told me this great story one time. They were, they were walking in some little town, like in, you know, kind of, they went out for the day and had lunch or something and they were walking by this bar and there were some dudes standing outside the bar, like, you know, hanging out or smoking.

They kind of looked like biker dudes. And as they walked by, one of them made a joke about my dad being bald and they walked, they kept walking and that my mom said they walked like 10 more feet. And then my dad, they were kind of like arm in arm or holding hands or whatever. And then my dad stopped and turned to my mom and said, no, you stay right here. I'll be right back. And then he just walked straight back to them and they all ran away because he was just, he was like, and my mom, my mom just thought, oh, he is just kind of embarrassed and he's

like, whatever. But he basically walked her away from the area so that he could go back and kick their ass. This is not for you. Let me take a moment. Now you stand here. Not involving you. Clothing store, you're clear of debris or anything that could fly out of this fight.

Oh God. Yeah. I don't, I mean, like, yeah, actually I've never been in a physical fight. Oh. Personally, I would, I would never do it and I'd always be like, ew, oh my God. Like I could, I could do it, but I would always just be like, I'd rather just be mean. It's so weird. And insult you.

It's so weird. It's like, it goes in slow motion for sure. Have you been in fights? Oh yeah. Like girl fights? Yeah. I was in one fight in high school with like my friend and we had this falling out and then she came out after me in the lunch and the like main quad or whatever and yeah, I

fucking won. Sorry, but we made up later. It's not, it's fine, but I definitely punched her in the face and you know what happened is like she came after me. We start fighting. I was bigger than her and like a little scrappier. I feel, I feel terrible about that because I'm so anti-fighting and violence and all of that.

It doesn't help had all the hormones happening and that's what it is. I think when you're younger or also when you're first having fun times with alcohol and you have that kind of like your invincible feeling, there's, it's very normal to kind of test that out or to have these weird and then like emotional times don't know. Then like passionate friendships with girls that you have at that age are so fraught with so many emotions and you know, just the highs and lows that happen. The betrayal of those kind of like, I've tried to tell Nora stuff without being sounding like a crazy like old witch going, beware.

But it's like that kind of thing where, and what worries me about the way people parent these days is they're so up the asses of like so-and-so's friends, parents. Now we're friends and I mean, I'm talking about kind of small town stuff, but I don't worry about that because it's like, what if they have a falling out and they truly don't, like one of them does something truly fucked and they're not going to be able to tell you about it. And then suddenly they have to hang out because the parents are friends. Like it's all that stuff we didn't have to worry about back in the day.

I don't have to worry about that. I think that's why you can check off your, permission to check it off my list. Thank you. Thank you. I needed to hear that. Let's see. Are you watching anything, doing anything on special reading? I feel like that I'm doing my, I'm doing my thing where I'm rewatching British shows

that have brought me a sense of peace and calm. Great. So the one I'm doing right now is a television show that I truly adore called Lark Rise to Candleford. Those words don't mean anything to me. It is so good. Did you watch Downton Abbey? It was the first season.

Yeah. So there is, there was a, like a footman or a butler on that show. And he was like the big, famous one from downstairs. He plays the dad in this show. That guy's name is Brendan Coyle. And then the woman who I love, which every, I think everybody loves her. She played the daughter on absolutely fabulous. Oh.

Put it on daughter. Her name's. So good. Julia Sawala. Yeah. I believe. And she works. She runs the post office.

Okay. And then. And then Claudia Blakely, who she plays the mom and I've talked about her before. She's the British actress that was in something else that we loved that I was like, she needs her own props because she's so good. And oh, she's like, she's in the Pride and Prejudice movie. She's amazing. So it's basically kind of like all my British actor friends in one big show.

And then it's like village life in the like, it seems like, I don't know, mid 1800s. Okay. That sounds like everything. I don't want everything you want and I'm really happy for you. It is. It's like everything I want, but it also is the thing where, you know, I'm like, and maybe this is a quarantine thing, but like around the time I start watching TV at night, what I start, my brain is like, oh, you can just go hang out.

It's almost like I'm going into another room where the people are. It has that vibe because it's families and there's like little problems. It's almost like a British soap opera a little bit. Yeah. So you're like actually having a life still. Yes. But it's just, you're not involved in it. It's very sad.

I'm not, not saying that. No. The people. They're my friends. My TV people. I have a suggestion for something to calm your nerves or like happy watching. Great. Okay, old game shows, sure, they, there's a channel called buzzer be use easy R.

I think it's like an app you probably like have to add on or whatever that just shows old fucking weird game shows. And there's this one that I, we had never seen before that we are now obsessed with called concentration. Yeah. You know that one. We're solving the puzzle. You're solving the puzzle and when, and it's like memory, like the game memory where you

turn over a thing and it's like washer and dryer and then you turn up at number 15 and it's washer and dryer and you match and you get it and then you have a chance to solve this puzzle and the original host was just clearly hated everyone and everything and he was so mean and then, and the puzzles were so hard and it would be like a riddle that you'd never heard of before. So everyone. Sorry. Kick really quick.

Yeah. Was the puzzle that was revealed a, there's a word for it and I won't be able to remember those things with the eye, I see the cow or whatever. Yes. Okay. So people, there are people right now that know the name and are yelling at their phone and I'm sorry, but there are also the things that are inside the peps. Yes.

Ribbon caps. Like a riddle using pictures. Rub... Hmm. There's a word. Yeah. Rubics. Rubin.

Yeah. Sure. Ram. Rebus. It's a fucking Rebus. Really? You got it? No, no, no.

So then Alex Trebek takes over, which reminded me that we need to fucking pour a little of my non-alcoholic beer on the carpet for in memory of who, man, we grew up with Alex Trebek. Bless his heart. Entirely. And so my family watches Jeopardy! every night at either seven or seven thirty. I can't remember when it's on up there. Well, it's at seven because then Wheel of Fortune comes on after and we turn it really fast.

You don't like Wheel of Fortune? Mm-mm. It's too stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. But Jeopardy! is like that's how it when Jeopardy! is not on at seven, I know something weird is happening with my family. That's that thing of like why, why, why hasn't my dad made popcorn and why isn't Jeopardy!

on at seven? Instead of an awkward silence, there's an awkward no Jeopardy! Right. Yeah. Well, so I love that. And so Alex Trebek now is the host, it's like the eighties, I think. And it's much better. He likes his job and the puzzles.

He's not mad. Oh, he's not mad and insults. He, this guy like insulted the players. It was so funny. So that's great. And then Alex Trebek, Rest in Peace. And then another thing he didn't mention, talk about last week, I think because we were so amped about the election and like it didn't even cross my mind, but like Kamala Harris

is the first fucking female nominee. Vice President. Yeah. Not nominee. Yeah. Anything. I feel like it's overshadowed by this. So many things that are happening.

But it's like. Yes. Incredible. It's incredible. It's incredible. You know what? We're, it's that kind of thing where like they have to go through, they're just being forced to go through the things they're going through now.

I do love that the Trump administration is a one for 25 in their court cases. They've lost all but one. But also it's just like, it's like, this is just that it's going to be a difficult in between time. We all knew it would be, we all knew he wasn't going to have grace, dignity, any kind of like larger picture behavior choice. It was just going to be him tweeting, I won it for the morning. Why start now?

I mean, why start now? Yeah. Can't. Too late. Old dogs. Old dogs. But I think, you know what? That's a great point.

And it's the kind of thing that I think once we're in January. It'll be a much easier thing to start saying, hey, there's all kinds of barriers, barriers have been broken for lots of different people. Yeah. And I want to celebrate that instead of like, instead of cowering in a corner hoping everything doesn't implode, but yeah, you're right. We're not there yet. Well, but they're really laying the foundation of that it's not going to because it's basically

just like, but court conservative judge after conservative judge is saying there is no case here. Yeah. And I appreciate that. Yeah. Can we talk about Sunday night? We found out that we were like on the Simpsons in a way. Oh shit.

Oh my God. Yeah. What the I had no idea until someone was like someone Instagram commented cool Simpsons cameo and I was like, why are they talking about? Yeah. I should actually thank the first person who tweeted me because this is how I knew and it was one of those things where I kind of, um, I didn't know what to do. Do you think I was like made fun of first?

I thought someone making fun of it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I was just like, oh shit, this isn't going to be good. There's all kinds of ideas that went through my head at Stuart Farger. I think Stuart underscore Farger, he just sent a, uh, so now I can tell you the story because he sent me this picture. He went, not sure if you've, if you've seen this already, but I couldn't risk not letting

you know. And then he even put top right in, but he sent me a picture where you were cropped out of the cell. So when you texted me like two hours later and went, oh my God, have you seen this? I was just like, I don't know. Oh fuck. I don't know what to do. I, like, I was just like, what, I was just like, my thing was, I guess I'll never talk

about it because it's like the cover. It's like your, your feature in the Sacramento or in the, um, Petaluma newspaper where they brought me out, but it's fucking Simpsons, but it's a Simpsons, but you're like the G was there where I was like, oh fuck, this is good, whatever. And then I opened the one you sent me and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I appreciate you not celebrating without me. That's not a celebration. Thank you.

But it was, it almost looked like, oh, it's just like, it almost looked to me like it's first of all, like it's a movie when it's an animated thing, but it's just like, oh, that just didn't, that didn't make it into the shot kind of thing. But for some reasons too, just stew cropped you out. So then it became a joyous celebration. It's really cool. And you haven't seen it yet. Honor.

Yes. And then there's some where about Lisa and Marge getting into Trit Crime Podcasts and of course, Small Town Dicks, which is Lisa's podcast, IRL, Yardley Smith, of course, does the Small Town Dicks podcast. So that's there, of course. And then they go in and it looks like a restaurant and there's like caricatures on the wall of like Trit Crime Podcasts and we're there. It looks like Dantanas, which is a famous steakhouse in L.A. where they have celebrity

pictures on the wall. And so it's an honor after honor. Also we're up there with fucking Deezus and Mero, Dan Carlin, Sarah Caining, like all these people were just like, oh shit. And the Doughboys are there too. It's like, I feel immortal. They're there in person. Yeah.

I feel immortal. It's fucking crazy. It's amazing. Also Karina Longworth is there in person. Like it's a really cool glow up for podcasters and people who have, you know, I think of the work that Karina Longworth puts into, you must remember this. We've talked about that podcast a ton. But if you haven't heard it, it is just a brilliantly done podcast about old Hollywood

mayhem, not necessarily crime, but like, yeah, bad stuff, mayhem, weird stories, whatever. It's so well done. The work she puts into it is unbelievable. Yeah. It is. And like Doughboys as well have been doing this before there was money to be made. Like they've been doing this when you actually like kind of lost money by podcasting a little bit.

And the amount that they've spent on like the fast food that they've lost money, they've lost their health insurance. No, it's very, it was really lovely. It's, yeah, it's very cool. And my friend Matt Selman was one of the first people I met in LA when I moved here when I was 24. And he was, I think maybe even younger than me, and we used to go to the same bar all the time.

And at the time he was the writer's assistant on The Simpsons. Wow. Now he's an executive producer. Now he's the EP. He runs it. Yeah. With other people. But yeah, he's the top dog.

He's amazing. So yeah. So then later on, he sent me an email saying, hopefully you saw the Easter egg. And hopefully we, you know, you, we hope you did the, we did podcasting right or whatever. It was really lovely. Honored. Yeah. I can't even.

Yeah. That's one of the things where I was looking at it. This was, aside from the other worries that I had, I was looking at it and like, now am I dead? Because this is so crazy. Come on. Like, is this real? There's no way.

Yeah. Like how, how important Simpsons was to me throughout my childhood. To the point where my sister yelled, mom, George is having a cow when I had a seizure. That's how important it was. It's a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. It was a big deal.

Yeah. You were probably 11 right when it came out because I was 19. Yeah. And it meant the world to us. It's incredible. 21. It was a big fucking deal. It kind of reminds me of when I saw Weird Al for the first time and I was like, oh

my, and I just had to text my brother like, I know this is crazy and we have, yeah, it was wild. These moments, these are high caliber. I was going to say high water moments. That's not the saying. High caliber. I don't know what I'm saying. It was high caliber.

Really speaking. It was a boutique moment. I just wanted to, I feel like there's, I'm in a, now that things have, now that it isn't pre-election week or election weekend or any of those things, there's a tiny bit of normalcy ebbing back into life or whatever. And it's making me actually feel my feelings again, which I don't appreciate or enjoy. But this morning, so, you know, as I've told you a million times, I keep all these papers just sitting on my desk from every time we record, so, because I'm always like, you have

to use it for scratch paper. Oh, it's sitting right in front of me. And this morning, my therapist had a couple bangers and I just wanted to share it. Okay. Because I literally was like, sorry, I need to stop talking so I can write this down. Cause I can't, I think I was just talking about how I'm having a hard time in COVID. Kind of like, like I'm having reactions that don't make a ton of sense once they come out of my mouth.

And then I get really like self-loathing and feel a lot of shame to which she said, she's like, that's toxic shame and toxic shame lies and wait for those moments when you falter so it can jump out and yell, I was right all along. You're bad. Yeah, I feel that, you know, everybody feels shame and sometimes it's actually very helpful. It keeps you from doing things you don't want to do that you've already done before, whatever. But when you have toxic shame, it's a different thing. And when it's a, it's that, when that is your problem, you are, you fall victim to this

voice in your head that tricks you into thinking it knows everything and it's telling you how you are. Right. It isn't accurate and it never updates itself. It never, you know, it's old. It's the, she always, she always uses the example of in a beautiful mind that how the mathematician eventually understood I'm having a schizophrenic episode because the people never aged that would appear to him.

I never saw that movie. It was always a little girl. She never got older even though he was getting older. The people, his roommate was never different. And it's that, and she goes, and that's the, you have to start putting out these markers so that when you have these waves of feeling, you can go, oh, no, no, this isn't you finally accepting reality. Yeah.

Like that's not, that's not it. Should I like that one? I'm always trying. Yeah. I'm always trying to like put a name on that person or describe that person. She's, my therapist is always trying to get me to like, it's not you. It's a different fucking voice. And that's a really good one where it's like, I can picture it.

They're tricky. The voice. Oh, it feels like your brain. And it feels sometimes it's like, I'm just trying to be nice to you and tell you, tell you how you are. And like, and then good thing I've got you where you would fucking humiliate yourself all the time. Right.

And where it's like, and then meanwhile on the outside, everyone's just like, what's the problem? We had to go and do what's like, we had a great conversation. What's happening? Yeah. Yeah. I got it. I just want to put that into the old, into the old free therapy corner that we've started

doing for everybody. If anybody out there is dealing with toxic shame or an internal voice that sure is mean to you. We all are. Yeah. Everybody is. Oh, also she told me that when you have a wave of that, it usually takes 15 minutes for it to go away.

So it seems like it's coming and it seems like, oh, this is permanently how things are forever. But if you can keep be aware that it's, it's you're having an emotional moment, you just put on music for 15 minutes, like, yeah, it's not a, it's not forever. Okay. Yeah. You move through it. So I shouldn't just start yelling at it. Fuck you.

Go away. Get out of the fucking head. I hate you. Certainly don't start yelling at others. Out loud is the only cure is for me to start having straight up, start having punching it in the face so that I'm just, yeah, punches. Old school black Angus left, right, left hook. It's the old combination out in the street in old Sacramento.

Okay. Let's get fight in the street with exactly right news. Nice. Beautiful segue. Thank you. There it is. Thank you. There it is.

Uh, merch design news. We have a new look and listen design. Um, yeah, it's done by a friend of the family, Kate Lowe, L-O-W-E. It's Kate designs it on Instagram. It's just this really cool line drawing of our faces, very simple, neat, beautiful look and listen, continual line drawing. Yeah. It's very delicate and it's very, it's kind of different.

I really love it. It's so good. It's very different than like what we normally have, I feel like. Yeah. Great. So check that out on the web. It's great. It's site store.

And then that's on my favorite murder.com. And then do you want to, which, okay, what, what podcasts from the exactly right library, are you going to shout out this week, Karen? Well, first of all, just so everybody is aware, and this is something you may have heard the out about or whatever, but the exactly right network and all the shows therein may I use the word therein. We're now on Pandora. Right.

So if you use Pandora, if you're into streaming, if you're into experimental streaming, it's free. Um, but you can go over to Pandora and you can listen to my favorite murder. You can listen to all of the shows on exactly right and please do come support us on Pandora. For example, one of the shows this week's bananas, I have to tell you, I just listened to it this morning. The guest on this week's bananas is infectious disease researcher, Laurel Bristow. She is the woman that's on Instagram basically from the beginning, helping people understand

what's going on with COVID. She's basically like, I think a science translator is the term they kept using on the show. So she basically updates people, tells them stuff, and she also started, and my sister is her number one fan. So I've been hearing about Laurel for a while. And now she has a thing called Yeah Dog, No Dog, where she answers really stupid questions about the pandemic and about COVID. And then such people ask if we like, but can't, isn't it my right to whatever?

And she'd be like, no dog. I love it. We're funny. Yeah. So that's, and also she's just, it's so fun when people like that aren't just good at the one thing they're good at. She's such a delightful, hilarious guest. It's so good on that show with Scotty and Kurt.

So love it. Listen to bananas. Definitely. And then I want to talk about our, our newest podcast. I saw what you did. Oh yeah. That episode this week is so great, Millie and Danielle talk about the films Walking and Talking from 1996 and Me Without You from 2001.

And they talk about foot cigarettes and getting stuck watching sex scenes with your mom, which everyone can relate to, I feel like. So that's out this week. I saw what you did. Such a great podcast. Please check that out. And then also make sure that you rate, review, and subscribe to any of the podcasts that you love, including us.

If you feel like doing that, please do. It really just helps every podcast get more recognition and get more listeners, which is about. Yeah. Sometimes if you look at the like iTunes top 10 or whatever and you don't see the podcast that you love, it's because not enough people have written in or rated reviewed or subscribed. Exactly. So get involved on a local level.

It's funny because I thought this week you were going to pick the per cast because they have paleontologist and fossil disease specialist Yara Haridi on who has a gorgeous Siamese kitten. I was positive. Yeah. That's what you're going to talk about. Look, I don't like, I don't like competing Siamese, all right? Oh, Stephen, sorry.

You're going to have to take a backseat to Elvis. I don't want to see the two Siamese cats fight. No. They would get along. I'm sure they would take a nap together. And then, okay, another fucking announcement. They keep coming week after week and this one's another biggie. These are the shows we were telling you about in frustration of we've got stuff coming hang

in there. We promise in June. And this is, and it's happening now and we're so, so excited. So this new podcast that you're going to hear the trailer for at the end of this episode, that's the way we do it. So we give you a little taste sensation. It is a law and order SVU recap comedy interview podcast called That's Messed Up. I'm so excited for this one ever since this got pitched to us and it's, it's, I heard

it first from Kara, one of the hosts who's a good friend and just a freaking hilarious person and she pitched it. Yes. There was like apps of fucking Lulee. Yeah. Whatever you want. Yes. So it's Kara Klink and Lisa Traeger who are just these two hilarious comedians, long

time comedians and they're great friends and every week they're just going to break down an episode of law and order special victims unit. They're going to deep, do a deep dive into the real case that inspired the episode. And then they're also, and they're also, this is the coolest part in my opinion as a person who truly has listened to every episode of law and order SVU. Yeah. I mean, watched. So not broadcasting.

I've watched every episode. They're going to have guests on every week who are actors from the show and that's everyone from, for example, like the guest star who plays the cult leader or the person that plays a fruit vendor who saw the crime go down like just any, and then all the way up through till big fancy celebrity guest stars that are on it all the time. So the show launches on December 8th, obviously on exactly right, but then listen to the trailer at the end of this show and then go make sure and subscribe to that's messed up wherever you listen to podcasts and, and then follow them on Twitter at messed up pod and on Instagram

at that's messed up pod. Please support them. I, this is going to be great. I'm so excited. Kara Klink is truly one of my favorite comedians. I've done, um, I've watched her a lot. I've done some shows with her, um, and she's, but she's also the kind of person like when I would go to say a birthday party that's at a bar downtown or something like that.

And I would always go by myself and then just be like halfway there. I'd be like, just go home. Just go home. Like it would be so difficult to even walk in the door. If I saw her there, it was just like, boom, I've got my, I've got my lighthouse. I know where I can go. She's so funny and fun to talk to, but she's also just very real. And, uh, she's just, she reminds me of someone I've known all my life.

I, she's the greatest. Totally. Oh, yay. Awesome. That's messed up. Sorry. Lisa, please don't take that as an insult. I also think you're hilarious, but I don't know you and I've never, because that's the

old NYLA comic divide because I've never, I've never spent time with her cause she's a New York comic. Me too. Zitto. But the respect is there. It's absolutely there. And once COVID is over, we're going to have a big exactly right party and everyone's going to be, has to be there or they're going to get fired.

And we're also going to give out five golden tickets and candy bars and you can be there. And there's going to be fist fights and it's going to be held at the black Angus and it's like in Sacktown. Oh shit. Okay. Wait. I don't, I actually don't even know if there is a black Angus in Sacramento. That was just the vibe.

I was just like, I love it. Like over on the side of the building where the dumpsters are, that's where the fights usually were. That's where the party is. That's where the part is at, baby. Always. Looking for a better cooking routine? With meal planning, shopping and prepping handled, HelloFresh has you covered.

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I am so sick of takeout. I miss cooking so much I haven't lifted a knife or a pan since like early fall. So I can't wait to get back in the kitchen and HelloFresh makes it so easy and also makes it so that my food tastes good, which is hard to do on my own. It gives you everything, everything you need. So get up to 20 free meals with purchase plus free shipping on your first box at hellofresh.ca slash murder20 with code murder20. That's up to 20 free meals plus free shipping on your first box when you go to hellofresh.ca

slash murder20 and use code murder20. Goodbye. Hey, I'm Mike Corey, the host of Wondery's podcast against the odds. In our next season, three masked men hijack a school bus full of children in the sleepy farm town of Chowchilla, California. They bury the children and their bus driver deep underground, planning to hold them for ransom. Local police and the FBI marshal a search effort, but the trail quickly runs dry.

As the air supply for the trapped children dwindles, a pair of unlikely heroes emerges. Follow against the odds wherever you get your podcast. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Okay. So we're doing a quilt episode this week. Oh, thank God. Oh, let's just say this really quick before people in the fan cult have learned this bitterly and we do apologize, but we're almost out of live shows because of the way time passes

and the way and how many we've posted and how many we've used and the fact that we were supposed to start our tour. September. I think in May. May. Oh, was it September? September. Yeah, it's supposed to be a fall tour.

Remember? Was it? It's supposed to be a fall tour starting in September or maybe even August if Joe got his way. A touring agent. Yeah, it's hilarious and bizarre to us, but this is what we're doing with the last of the live shows. But also if you're in the fan cult, don't you worry because we've got plans and schemes

of things that we are going to start posting on the fan cult that you were pretty sure you're going to think are better than the live shows. And also don't forget that in the fan cult, the live shows are in there. You can listen to them anytime you want. That's right. So it's not like they're all backlogged in there as well. It's yeah. There's a whole thing you can get into.

Yeah. So this is what we're doing this week. Who goes first this week? I think it's you, right? No. It's you, Karen. Oh, it's me, Karen. God, what was, what happened last week?

So we're talking to people. Right now I'm talking to you, South Carolina. I don't know if you remember in 2018 when me and a little lady named Georgia Harksterk came to see you at the North Charleston Performing Arts Center. And this is my story from that night. It is the story of old, timey, legendary, lady, female. Lady? Female?

No, I love it. Go with it. Do it. I've lost my mind. Live it. Love it. Yeah. Learn to levitate the lady, female serial killer, LaVinia Fisher.

Yes, this is a good one. My story is also super old. Cool. Okay. Because Tristan, I don't know if you know this about yourselves, but you are the home of this purportedly America's first female serial killer, LaVinia Fisher. What's up? Let's take it.

Oh, shit. She's doing a fucking George Washington. She's fucking chilling like George. What's up, bitches? That's what she's saying. What's up, bitches? I'm the first trailblazer. Wow.

I guess that color yellow was kind of popular back then. I guess so. A mustard? Here's what's funny. Stephen sent me. So Stephen, of course, handled it. I don't know. And he finds us, like the photos, you know, he does like the good searches for us.

He makes this. And then he makes that pretty thing. He's so good at computers. Little Stephen. He sends me this picture and he goes, they're not sure if this is actually a picture of her. He goes up every time you put in LaVinia Fisher, like it's not guaranteed that this is her image exactly.

It could just be like a cool old cigar ad or something, but don't fuck up our correct streak. This podcast. We've been so right all night. All night. She looks dead eyed and chill as fuck, so let's just say it's her. She really does look like she's kind of throwing some hand signals there, too. She's like trying to explain something to someone.

Listen, I love to kill multiple people in a short amount of time. It's what I do. Okay. Okay. She was born in 1793. Okay. So we're back where you are. Here we are.

These might be parallel stories. People are in the dungeon. She might have been killing people. Okay. There was nowhere to go in Charleston. And that's pretty much, aside from her being born in 1793. That's pretty much all we know about her for sure. They don't know anything about her early family.

Like, at least I don't, and my level of research. And that's basically, yeah, that's all that matters. I bet you there is some kind of a history professor in this audience right now who's like, I could tell you a couple of things about her, don't know about her early life or her family or where she was born or her maiden name or really anything at all, but we told you. Nothing. Nothing.

One thing is very clear that she spent most if not all of her life and did all of her crimes in Charleston, South Carolina. So in 1810, she would have been 17. I'm just trying to do the math in my head of like when this is, because literally there aren't years until like near the end when she gets arrested. So it's like history didn't like women or something. It's weird. Didn't care.

It's like female killers weren't as important. Yeah. We can hazard guess that the following events began sometime around like 1810, 1815. Great. They're about rough estimate as the crow flies. All right. So just to talk about America in 1810 and in South Carolina at the time, 40 years after the American Revolution, so actually not close to your time.

Well, we were there. We were just there. We were nearby. So this is baby America, cotton is king in this area, of course slavery is legal. Charleston used to be the capital of South Carolina early, early days. Oh, you guys know that I did. Are you guys mad about that film? They moved it up to Columbia because everyone congratulations on your win, your big win.

That's right. slavery is more central to the state, so everyone, all those, those lazy legislators were like can we just, can we just wait in the middle, we're always going to the coast. So, but that happened in 1786. So I watched an educational video that was for children from probably 1977. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen because it just kept showing like the manor houses, so they talked about how the plantation owners who lived out in the country obviously to have their big, huge farms, they would come in and build these big, beautiful

houses in Charleston. And then there's just all these children dressed in period clothes, but with like 70s hair who are like walking, looking at the camera and like walking up steps, like is this how you want me to do it? Or like opening a weird drawer. And the best fucking part is they're just trying to explain like how daily life was for rich people back then. And they had, oh this is on know it all dot org.

So you too can go and watch this same video and learn as I did about your amazing state. It also started with the shape of the state and then it said SC in it and I was like, like I've never been taught anything. I love to learn. So at one point they go out in the park and talk about how the children of the day used to play on a thing called a juggling board. Are you fucking serious? You guys had to do that too?

I was in my hotel room crying, laughing at the juggling board. I don't know what that is. So we'll tell you what a juggling board is. Tell me. You know how seesaws are like way too fun and scary and like do a bunch of shit and you can't trust where they're going to go? Well, if you took a much thinner piece of wood and put it on your front porch and then maybe put a little thing under this end so it was higher up on one side and then you

just stood on it and bounced up and down, that's a fucking juggling board. So according to this video. It's a super vintage trampoline is what you're saying. It's a trampoline with no risk. It's a seesaw with no fun. It's a piece of wood. Twenty boxes. If we were to try it right now we'd be like, oh, this is kind of awesome.

Oh my God, I love this juggling board. It's a good firework out? Oh my God, it's so good for your lymphatic system. If I saw a juggling board on an infomercial and they were like, you lose weight and drain your lymphatic system, I'd be like, 89.99, yes, I'll have two juggling boards, please. And it also sounds like someone was like, some kid was fucking around with this thing and his mom was like, if you don't tell me what that is right now, I'm going to get mad and he was like, it's a juggly, like just made up some dumb thing.

What are your kids doing out there with the juggling? I love it. I'm with it. I'm here for it. The idea that you cheered for juggling boards, God damn it, Charles, didn't I love you? That is... It's special. Remind me when the hometown person comes up, we have to be like, did you have a juggling

board when you were a child? What is this? Okay, so essentially, Charleston was the big city. We were constantly traveling to it, leaving it for business and trade and bartering at the harbor, as we talked about before. And whatever else the rest of the video said that I didn't watch because once the juggling board part came, I was like, I've seen enough, I've learned everything I need to learn today. And this acting sucks, come on, stop looking into the camera.

Now you have to think of it, it's 80 years before the first car is built, it's before the first railroad. So it's impossible to get anywhere at any time. And so everyone's traveling by horse or carriages or whatever on these roads. Take the hat, carriages, nope, it's a taxi, never mind, come on. I answered my question. So there were these things back then called highwaymen. And they were basically the dudes that would rob you when you were just going down the

road by yourself on your horse. And... What? Going down. Here's you. Dumb. On a horse. Dumb.

Gun. Oh, no. Highwaymen, give us all your weird leather bags filled with the balloons and tea. Okay. So there were groups of them, like gangs of them and stuff, and our group. There's actually a music group called the highwaymen. Yeah. Do you know that?

That's right. Johnny Cash, right? Anyways, I figured you guys would know because this is the South, but no. So our girl, Lavinia Fisher, hooks up with a highwayman herself, John Fisher, that's not her maiden name, Fisher, it's her married name. So we know by all the accounts of her, she was very beautiful and she was very charming. And so I like to think she was like a rich girl with a personality disorder. Like she had it all, but she was like, fuck you, mom, I'm not marrying that guy.

I'm gonna go out and start robbing people on the road. I've had it with this life of luxury. So she could have married a Captain Butterscotch or a Dr. Bramble Bones or whoever, whoever her neighbor was or whoever her dad was gonna fix her up with. She could have just played jiggly board for the rest of her life. She could have joggled and joggled for the rest of her life, but no, she was like, not enough for me. I loved pulling a gun on someone and really live.

So she marries John Fisher, the highwayman. And so what we know for sure is they get married, I mean, they become active with a gang of highway robbers and they don't know exactly if she was doing, if she was actually like holding a gun or a musket or just a long finger with a furrowed brow, give me your money. Or if she was just kind of like aiding and abetting. But essentially she was a part of this gang. And eventually, and they don't know if John and Livinio bought there because they ended up buying an inn, and it's called the Six Mile Wayfarer House, located how many miles

away from Charleston? Six miles. Make Georgia answer. Six miles. That's right. Thanks. Thanks guys. They helped me cheat.

Not to be confused with the five mile inn, which was one mile down the road, I'm not joking. They weren't big into names back then. I clearly wasn't paying attention to the name of that place. So they don't know if they bought it with their robbery money or if they just killed the previous owner and took over. I bet that one. I bet it's number two.

So they basically take possession of the Six Mile Wayfarer House, the Six Mile Inn essentially. And we know that Livinio had no problem with crime, whether she was just kind of making dinner for everybody or whether she was doing it herself. So here's how they did their crimes. She would go into Charleston and she would lure men back to the Six Mile Inn, inviting them to dinner, possibly drinks, maybe some nice music, maybe music, a little chit chat about a news of the day, and probably getting them drunk so that then they would need to stay there to sleep it off.

And as they turned in for the night, she would offer them a cup of tea and yes, what does that remind you of? Poison. Right. That's right. What else? The center. Oh, the center!

Watch the center, so good. Karen texted me the other night, Wednesday night, when the center, is everyone watching it? When the center? It was the final episode. It was the final episode. It was season two. Season two is the middle of the final episode.

We were in our hook. I'm not going to do it. I'm telling you, she's sexed me, sexed me. I was like, hey, hey, are you busy this weekend? Nice save. Nice save. Thank you. She essentially said, I can't believe the blank blank did it, and I was like, did you

just fucking spoil this for me? I was sleeping. Now I'm going to retell the story of the way it actually happened. We talked about watching the center together before we left for the trip, at the airport, and then all the way up until the thing we always do, we're like, let's do a thing, and then we're like, I'm tired, I'm going to stay in bed, we're going to order room service. So I assumed, because I was obsessed, I was checking the time, I looked it up on the internet to make sure that I was not going to miss it, so I was so on it, and we were texting

about something else, and I did text you, don't give a spoiler away, bloody, simple fact with not a lot of words like she just said, but it did have one word in it that was key, and then I was just like, oh no, I don't care, if it's happening to me, it's happening to you, so I was like, we're watching the center right now, there's no question in my mind, sorry, George, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, let's go to therapy talk, okay, so bringing it on back, the tea, got it, she gives some tea and it's fucking laced, of course, so these men go up into bed, and there's a lot of different versions, of course, this is a lot of legend, because it's a very old story, but basically here

are several methods that are known of the way that they would rob these men, that she brought Lord back to the inn, she would give them the tea, they would get like basically high off of it and go to sleep, and then while they were sleeping, they would rob the people, get all their shit off of them, so they couldn't fight back, and then once they were done robbing them, they would flip the bed over, and the floorboards would separate, open up, and there was a pit underneath the bed that they would dump the body into, and some say the pit had spikes at the bottom, that turned real quick, I'm like, take some tea, you're like, thanks for the lamp chop, Lavinia, I think she likes me, dead, oh my god, now, also, sometimes,

she would give them the tea, they would be like, I feel crazy, I'm gonna lay down, go to bed, pass out, be high from the tea, and then John would just come in and stab the fuck out of them, and then I would flip the bed over, and the body would go down into the basement. They sound like bad people. I think they weren't good, and then they would rob them, of course. The third way, and of course, my favorite, she would drug them, get them up into bed, get into bed with them, and then crush their skulls with her thighs, no, okay, now we've

gone too far, that's impossible, not if you really want it, it's fair, clearly, the legend has grown, and you know, that's almost like, it turns into like, oh, she was a serial killer, it's like, yeah, imagine what she would do to you, imagine, if you were all drugged out. I mean, I'd be cool if it was at least like, the fun, like her thighs were, yeah, there's like, rapper, there's Roman, okay, so they do this for a long time, and of course, men are going missing from out of town, and from Charleston, and, but of course, back then, it took, what, eight months to communicate anything in any way, so it's all very slow

going, and every time they would go to the Six Mile Inn, they would look, somebody would say, this person, this is my husband, this is my son, they've gone missing, and the police would go look into it, they would figure out that the last place the person was seen was at the Six Mile Inn, but they would go to the Six Mile Inn, and LaVinia and her husband John were these cordial, lovely, good-looking, friendly, smart people that would say, oh, you know, yeah, he left here and tell them some story, and there would be no evidence of anything that the person was there, there would be no indication that anything bad happened, so they would all leave, and they were actually friends with a lot of the authorities and

the policemen and stuff, and they would just smile and shake hands and be on their way, and there would be no further investigation, and be like, well, we simply don't know, anyway, back to the rats, so it goes on long enough that the townsfolk are like, fine, if you're not going to, we know like word of mouth, something crazy is happening up at the Six Mile Inn, and this is my favorite thing about when you're trying to do research and you don't like researching, and this is, so the townspeople get all, they get like a militia together, they all grab their different weapons and pitchforks and stuff like that, and this is in February of 1819, and they go, they decide they're going to head up to the Six

Mile Inn, but for some reason they only make it to the Five Mile Inn. What? That sounds like a joke. I know. And I'm like, I checked like three websites, and I'm like, I'm not a fucking history professor, but for some reason, they don't make it, they just like, they have to stop, whatever, so they decide, the townsfolk are like, okay, we're going to leave, you stay here, a guy named David Ross, you stay here and be a lookout, Dave Ross, Dave Ross, he's a stand up comic,

we know. It's 28th to the two of us, and that's about it, and to Dave Ross when he hears this, which will he never hear. Dave Ross, of course, now I can't not picture a guy in like a built to spill t-shirt and a cigarette standing outside the Five Mile Inn, being like, well the fuck, why do I have to do it? Yeah. Hipster.

Yeah. But really funny, really solid jokes, and also widely of just one guy, it's like, oh, so we're going to go confront this gang, Dave, will you take it? Dude, I got it, I got this, don't worry, you guys go back home. So the next day, a couple of the highwaymen that belonged to the gang that hung out at the Six Mile Inn, walk by, they see Dave Ross hanging out, trying to stand guard or something. Right, some new jokes for his new set, just stand up, stand up. He's like, man, the fuck in Five Mile Inn, it's no Six Mile Inn, am I right, ladies and

gentlemen? It's like, I need to work on that, and here come these robbers, and so they grab Dave Ross and beat the shit out of him and drag him back to the Six Mile Inn, like this guy is here to investigate us. It's almost like he was only one person against a gang, weird. It's almost like this was kind of the worst plan, and they got the worst person to be, it's not like, you know, you picture, like, if you had a guy that looked like the mountain from Game of Thrones, that's the guy you leave the Five Mile Inn to stand guard.

I don't know that reference, go on, sorry. It's almost like the guy from The Center, okay, I'm there, okay, so when Dave Ross gets to the Six Mile Inn, and there's just all these dudes that want to kick the shit out of him and all these highwaymen and bad guys, then he sees Lavinia's face, and he tries to appeal to her because he's, oh, a woman's here, she'll be nice, and he tries to appeal to her sensitive side, which of course pisses the fuck out of her, so she chokes him out and smashes his head through a window. Lavinia, chill the fuck out.

No, equality, equality. Okay, okay, okay, okay. She's like, how dare you think I'm empathetic. So let's see, what does he do? He somehow escapes, he runs Six Miles back to Charleston, I put that in there, and he reports the incident to the authorities. So around the same time, a traveler named John Peoples is traveling from Georgia to Charleston, and he stops at the Six Mile Inn, and Lavinia's like, I'm sorry, there's no vacancies, but

you can have dinner, and of course, a nice cup of tea, and she did this, this is another way that she decided on who to rob and kill, she would just chat with them, obviously, during dinner, and ask them a bunch of questions, like, what are you doing really, how much money do you have in your pocket? Oh my God, that's crazy. And she would just milk them from information, and then they would decide if that person should stay there so that they could rob and kill them. The entire time John Fisher is just kind of standing off on the side staring, which is

such not a good plan at all. The husband should go, I mean, if you need to do this now, and you may, for this plan. So this guy, John Peoples, is getting the weird, he's like, this is the weirdest fucking place I've ever come to, and as he's answering these questions, and John's staring at him, he's like, this vibe is odd. When she gives him the tea, just by chance, he doesn't like tea, so when she's not looking, he dumps it in a potted plant, did they have potted plants back up? A spittoon, maybe, of some kind, or onto a poor person?

Whatever they did back then. So then suddenly, Lavinia's like, after she sees the tea's gone, she's like, oh my god, we do have a vacancy, come right this way. And she brings him up to the room. So once he's in the room, he's thinking about it, he's like, they're shaking me down, this is not good. So instead of getting into the bed and going to sleep, he sleeps by the door in a chair, so he basically can stay awake, and he's nervous.

And in the middle of the night, the bed, he wakes up to this loud crashing sound, and the bed is disappeared. So he walks over and looks down, and sees that the trapdoor's open, and- Wait, they would drop the whole fucking bed into the trapdoor? Well, that's the way this was worded from, you know, wick-a-fucking-pedia, so we don't know. I like the idea that they had all different rooms, and the bed could do all kinds of things in the room.

Or they just had extra beds in the back, and they would just go through beds every night, because they would all drop through the- Maybe Lavinia was like an heiress to a bed fortune, she's just like, I'll get another bed from my dad, assholes. Either way, he fucking sees the pit, he sees the whole deal, jumps out the window, gets on his horse, goes back to Charleston, and is like, hello, I need to talk to the authorities. They're like, sorry, we're talking to Dave Ross right now, we can get in line. We got all these rats to deal with.

He's trying to do a set. So- Oh, oh my gosh. The police finally go, and they have a real reason to investigate the Six Mile Inn, and they start investigating the rooms- Oh, I picked this up too early. And when they're there, of course, they discover dozens of travelers' belongings, these missing people, all the belongings are there.

Driver's license. Key rings. They find an herb that could knock you out for as long as need be. It's all the evidence is piling up. Then they find hidden passages, and then they find the mechanism that triggers the trap door in the floorboards under the bed, and then they go into the basement, where they find hundreds of sets of human remains. Oh my gosh.

So they basically just dumped them all down there, kind of like your dungeon, just like just leave them there. I guess it's like if life already smells really bad in general, you're not going to notice a smell. No. Yeah, it's like, no, we shit in the corner, in a bucket in the corner, so it's cool. Just don't worry about it. So the fishers are arrested, of course.

They plead not guilty. The judge orders them to remain in old Charleston jail until the trial. That's what I was waiting for. There it is. Still standing to this day, right? Apartments? Are they apartments? I would live there.

The old Charleston jail lofts. It's an open floor plan filled with ghosts. Oh, that's beautiful. Isn't it gorgeous? I honestly would fucking live there. There's offices? She said, there's an office! And then went, woo!

Like cheer for yourself. I got one in! You did. Great job. On September 13th, 1819, Lavinia and John tried to escape by the old classic tying all the sheets together in a sheet ladder. When has that ever worked? I mean, it doesn't work here.

John gets out, but the sheet chain breaks before Lavinia can get down. Yeah, dude. It's fucking Scooby Doo shit. No. It's not going to work. He's like, when you get down here, I have a huge sandwich that no one can ever eat. And a talking dog. But here's the thing about John.

He doesn't leave her. He fucking allows himself to get recaptured and try to take the heat off of her. Are you crying? No. I don't cry. Not at all. No, but that's very sweet. I think it's beautiful.

They both are found guilty of robbery, which at the time is a hangable offense. Sure. It's just basically how they took care of business back then across the board. They also got murder. Okay, good. I was hoping that one would stick too. But once you get hanging, it's all gravy. Right.

They're sentenced to be hung in the old gallows behind the old Charleston jail. Till they die. Yeah. February 18th, 1820, John accepts his fate and he only pleads to the priest to save his soul, not LaVenia. LaVenia fucking, she's pissed. In court, she says, I can't be hung. I'm a wife.

And so the judge goes, okay, well then we'll just hand your husband first. Oh shit, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a rap battle, like an early fucking insult battle. Oh, you think you have a solution? Watch my mind at work. So then the next trick she had up her sleeve was she walked out to get hung in her wedding

dress. Because she believed that if people, if somebody in the crowd, because as you're saying, it's like people love to show up for hanging. That was like the thing to do. That was like Shakespeare in the park for these people. So she figured she would look beautiful in her wedding dress and maybe a man would want to marry her real quick and you can't hang a bride. It doesn't work.

No one's into her. No one thinks she's hot. Because also you gotta think about like, I'm thinking of like a Vera Wang, there's like bling, as they say, and poofy sleeves. No, this is just like fucking white rags. Whiteish rags. It's several white rags sewn together. Exactly.

That she tried to escape with and it didn't work. She makes a wedding dress out of tied up Scooby-Doo sheets. Hey! Save me? Want to save me? I killed everybody. Want to save me? So of course it doesn't work.

Then she refuses to walk so they have to drag this poor, murderous bride across the gallows and with the noose around her neck, she rants and raves while all the Charleston socialites listen to her scream these words. If you have a message you want to send to hell, give it to me. I'll carry it. Holy! What the fuck? That's the most badass fucking thing.

Yes. And to scream into like the real housewives of the 1800s. There are like spinning their umbrellas. What the fuck did she just say to us? She looked right at me! Holy shit! She wasn't just America's first female serial killer. She was also the first bridezilla.

Thank you. I just thought of that right now. That was amazing. Not written on this page. That was amazing. Then, oh wait, final move, which actually makes me love her 100%, she fucking jumps off the step boat. She fucking did it herself.

Oh my god. Because she probably died quicker, right? I don't know. But I love that fucking idea. Like the guys sitting there waiting to like drop the floor out from under her, which is her move. And it said she's like, man, they got what they paid for. Spitting.

Love you, Lavinia. She's like, hold my beer, I guess. She's like, watch this. Oh my god, watch this, this is going to be nuts. And then she shows her wedding dress. The residents say that Lavinia still haunts the old jail. She does. They say that her ghost has been seen in the cells walking around and wearing her wedding

dress. It has, for sure. Amazing. And that's the story of Charleston's Lavinia. I was a journey. That was amazing. I'm so thankful I went first. Because how the fuck would I follow that shit up with a fucking dungeon sword?

If you have a message from hell. I mean, for hell. That's such a great idea. What if someone in the back is like, oh, I'd like to tell my asshole uncle to fuck off. She jumped off the scaffold. She didn't mean she was going to take my message. Just a little piece of the paper, head over to her. And really?

Oh god, really? I'm so sorry that happened to you. Jesus Christ. Wow, Karen. As the applause said, great job with that one. Are you seconding the applause? Wow, I double down on that applause, Karen. Thank you.

And thank you, 2018 applause. Yeah. I feel like it was yesterday. I wish I could go back on that stage and warn everyone about what was coming. Distance. Okay, so mine actually is timely. It's a Thanksgiving day killing. So it's perfect timing next week is Thanksgiving and you don't have to see your family.

Congratulations. Yeah. You automatically get out of a family function. That's free. Yeah. Come on. Have you asked for a bigger gift ever and gotten it? I mean, no.

Just party, party, party, party, party. Okay. This story is from Minneapolis, Minnesota, one of our favorite fucking towns. Hell yeah. We did a show on May 19th, 2019 at the Northrop Auditorium, beautiful place. And so this is the crazy story of murderer Byron David Smith and the Thanksgiving day killings. Oh shit.

Can we get security? Security. Just hanging out, you know? It's almost like with Lincoln, there should have been some security. Light security at the door. You know, it's easy to judge now in modern times, but back then all they had were lanterns and hope. Lice.

Don't forget lice. Oh, and don't forget those bed bugs. Did you, I recently read an article that bed bugs survived the asteroids that killed all the dinosaurs. That's pretty awesome. Bed bugs lived. That's cool. Roaches.

Was it roaches or bed bugs? It was bed bugs in the article I read. But we can definitely talk about roaches because that's just as gross as bed bugs or barf. I have to, have you ever had bed bugs? No. I have to say that like five and a half months of traveling and we haven't had a single scare I think is like, I think I'm waiting every fucking time we get home to start itching.

And it just hasn't happened. Well, I think about, I'll tell you all the fucking things I worried about some day. We're going to get rid of all of it tonight. It's fun being up in here. All right. Let me tell you, about 100 miles outside of Minneapolis in Morrison County is a small town of little falls. Oh, not so small.

No. They're all here tonight. Small but mighty little falls. That's right. It's one of the oldest European American cities in Minnesota. The river town, that's a river town and the slogan is where the Mississippi pauses. How? I don't know.

Maybe they built a dam. I don't know. No. It's just like, it's like idyllic and like everyone loves it. I don't know if that's true. It's the feeling you're getting. Yeah. It's idyllic.

But not so in 2012 for 64-year-old little falls resident Byron David Smith. Yeah. He is a local curmudgeon. I called him. Is he a real crumb? Tell them why that's funny. We had a... This is just going to be a series of sidebars.

Apology. We all stumble out of here in two hours. Whisper to your drag along. It's usually better than this. We got it. In Milwaukee, we had a woman come up named Stacey who told her hometown and she was amazing and at one point while she was describing the terrible murder, I think by hand of a husband killing his wife and she told some really specific and terrible detail and the

whole audience went, ooh, and she goes, I know, he's a real crumb. Karen lost her. I had a full on nervous breakdown. It was so inappropriate. So he was, yes, he was a real crumb. He's a real crumb. So he lives in a home in a secluded area near the Mississippi River and on a bunch of acres of land and shit and he's fed up at this point in 2012 of his house being broken

into. Let me show you a picture of him. He sucks. Okay. There he is. All right. Yeah. So it had been going on for about a year, these break-ins and first with someone breaking

into his garage and they had smashed stuff and like tip things over and stolen some things like his old military clothing and by late 2012 his house had been burglarized at least half a dozen times over the preceding few months. Wow. And he had only reported one of those burglaries to police and investigators found evidence of only two previous burglaries but among the items stolen were $4,000 in cash, his father's POW watch and some of his medals from Vietnam. Wow.

Coins from his collection worth around $5,000 and a bunch of other shit and they had also stolen his guns which he said had scared him because now they have his guns. So. Oh, he's not scared of his own guns. Yeah. I leave them in a room by themselves because I don't want to be near them and now someone else has them. Right.

And that's when trouble starts. Yeah. So then a friend of his who was a neighbor saw a local teenage girl walking to the bus stop wearing his army jacket that he knew was his. And so he's fucking pissed off because he, Byron Smith had been trained security engineer for the U.S. State Department. So security was his fucking thing. He was in charge of security.

Clearly wasn't. Right. That's correct. He didn't bring his work home with him in any way, apparently. He had gone to embassies all over the world and had been in charge of making sure their embassies were secure until 2006 in his retirement when he moved back home to the house with his mother and then his mother had died about a year before. So I'm sure, I wrote, I'm sure his ego was kicked in the dick when he found out a teenage

girl was breaking into his home. Well, yeah. It doesn't feel good. But we're like, teenage girls are wily bunches. They're fucking, they're scrappy as fuck. So he began wearing a holster with a loaded gun inside his house and installed a security system in his home as well. So now we get to Thanksgiving Day 2012.

Smith had been visiting with his neighbors when he saw a car that he thought was casing his home. He then commented to the neighbors that he was visiting that he needed to get ready for her and went to his home to prepare himself for a break-in. First he drove his vehicle down the road out of the parking, his driveway, they call him. He drives his vehicle off his driveway and down the street parking in front of a neighbor's home so it looked like no one was home in his house. Then he went back to his house.

He removed light bulbs from the ceiling light so it was dark and he positioned a comfortable chair. It's a fucking lazy boy, let's be honest. In the basement, so that it would be obscured from the view of someone walking down the basement stairs. So that's his fucking recliner between those two bookcases and then see that bookcase on the right, in between that bookcase and the other one is where his recliner is. So the person walking downstairs wouldn't see him.

Wouldn't know someone sitting there. Exactly. There's a Tiffany lamp and you know, shit like that. He still has exquisite taste. Even though he's a super creep. So he also loads two guns, a revolver and a rifle, which if you put them together would be called a revival. A revival.

I'm not wrong. I just invented a new fucking gun. Don't be so intimidated by her brain. Steven, trademark that. That was the best I've ever done. Okay. And at the bottom of the stairs, he sets down a tarp so that if he shoots anyone, he can wrap the body in at the bottom of the stairs.

So he's prepping. He is taking the law into his own hands. He settles into his reading chair with water, snacks and a novel and waits for someone to break in. A book by Jackie Collins, do you think he was reading? I tried to find out what book he was reading. I was like, that's not important, Georgia. What's wrong with you?

Georgia, it's 5.56. You have to finish this. Yeah. It turns out your show starts at 7 and not 8. You didn't know that. Get your shit together. Get it together. Okay.

So later that day, he's sitting in his chair watching his video surveillance footage from outside the house and he could set up all these video cameras. And he... I have to say, it's just that is a fun thing to do. Have you ever watched when people have security cameras and you can just watch Innis and people who don't know they're on camera? Just walking around. My friend had an apartment where one of the channels on the TV was the front door like

closed circuit television. Is that legal? It was in 1995. And so we would literally sit around his apartment drinking beer and watching the front door. And we did it one time and we were all shit-faced and some of our friends started leaving. It was Blank Apache and Laura Billigan. And they walked out and walked up and thrown the camera and then Blaine started strangling Laura.

Like, it was like a little silent TV show play of a murder. Yeah, but what if someone else in the building was watching that too? Right. Exactly. Exactly. Wow. The best. I thought that was...

That's like such a stoner thing to do. Yeah. Just like sit and watch that. Thank you. It was in 1995. You're welcome. Okay. All right.

Settles into his fucking asshole chair. Okay. So. So watching his chair. Nope. He's sitting in his chair. He's watching the surveillance video. One of the cameras could have been pointed toward that chair.

That's true. And you can see all this. I wouldn't recommend it. But you can see this video, surveillance on all these fucking shows. And it captures a 17-year-old Nick Brady casing the property before he breaks a window and sneaks in. So downstairs, Smith hears the window break and proceeds to wait in silence for 12 minutes as Nick begins to look around in the house and then he starts to go downstairs.

In those 12 minutes, he could have called the cops. He had a phone right next to him and said someone's breaking into my house. He could have done all of that. He doesn't. He waits in silence with the whole time. Well, because at this point, they've been fucking with the wrong person, essentially. And he's pissed. Yeah.

And he has been broken into. Paranoid. It's a bad combination. It's like the perfect storm. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Okay.

And so, but he doesn't want, you know, he doesn't want the cops to be there. Otherwise, he would have called that. Yeah. He wants to take care of business. So 12 minutes after he breaks in, Nick begins to send the stairs into the basement. And as soon as, as Byron Smith in his chair sees Nick's, like, legs and hip, he shoots him twice. And Nick falls to the bottom of the stairs onto that tarp that he had set up and shoots

him again in the head point blank. Whoa. It's fucked up. Then he wraps Nick's body in a tarp and drags him into the other room. And he, there's like blood and, you know, stuff on the carpet. And so he takes a rug and covers it, which is like, you know, he does it so that when someone else comes in, they won't see that that's have happened and won't run. They'll come downstairs.

Yeah. Which is insane. It's like a trap, right? Yes. He washes his hands, some time goes by, and then he runs back to his chair and reloads his weapon and takes up his previous position in the obscured chair. And this is because the reason he goes back to his chair is because not long after he had killed Nick, he had spotted Nick's 18-year-old cousin, Hayley Kiefer.

She was a senior at Little Falls High School and she had been sitting in the car waiting for her cousin, Nick. She knew he was breaking in and she had just been waiting in the car for him. They were very close, the cousins, Nick and Hayley. They were more like siblings than cousins. And in the show, Hear No Evil on Discovery ID, which is so brilliantly named, it's just, you know, murders that have sound things in them. What do you mean?

Hear No Evil. Like recordings. Oh. Get it? Yeah. Now I do. Because I explained it so well, I'm surprised you didn't get it on the first try. So many things have sound things, you know, that I just was trying to figure out.

Name one. I got a grasp of it. You're right. Nothing. You're right. I can't think of one thing. Told you. Okay.

So she had been, she had been waiting in the fucking car for her cousin to come back. He's like, I'm going to run in. And they, oh, so on Hear No Evil on Discovery ID, the grandfather says that they, he acknowledged that they did some, what he calls bonehead things, but they were like good kids. So they were 17 and 18-year-old board teens in this small town, and they were doing some shit. It's like not fucking argued that they, you know, were on a bad path, but they were so young, you know?

Yeah. So they had stopped so that Nick could break into Byron's house before the two of them were to head to the family's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Right. So when Nick doesn't come out, Hailey is like, what the fuck happened? She goes into the house and tries to find Nick. So she's calling her cousin's name and she makes her way down the basement stairs and Smith shoots her.

She's wounded. She falls down the stairs and Smith shoots her multiple times and including in her left eye and he, yeah, he kills her. And then he tosses her body on top of her cousin's killing, shooting her one more time and killing her. Like this was his plan. He leaves the teen's bodies in the basement workroom until the following day he leaves them there and then he calls a neighbor and asks for help finding a lawyer.

He doesn't call the cops. He calls his neighbor. The neighbor calls police because they're normal. That's what you do. It's a basic thing. When police asked Smith why he waited until the next day to notify police of the shootings, he says he didn't want to bother the police on Thanksgiving. He said if my Thanksgiving was ruined, doesn't mean yours needs to be as well.

How big of you? I know. So Smith has brought in for interrogation and you can like watch these videos and shit and actually Hear No Evil does a really good job of reenactments with the actual video, nope, recorded stuff. The audio? You know. Thank you.

So he calmly and politely cooperates with police and describes to them like he's having a conversation about what he had for fucking lunch. He describes to them the events that led up to the murders and describes the shootings in chilling detail. He tells authorities that he finished off Haley with a shot under her chin with a shotgun because a.22 caliber quote doesn't go through bone very well. He's explaining it like he went deer hunting or something. And he says that Haley, after she fell down the stairs when she got shot the first time,

he had tried to shoot her with a shotgun again but it had misfire or like it wouldn't shoot. What do they call that? A jammed. Thank you. And then he says that she laughed at him when he did that. And so he said quote if you're trying to shoot someone and they laugh at you, you go again. But here's the thing, before settling into his recliner in the basement, Byron Smith had set up a digital recorder and there were at least six hours of audio of the entire

event. Oh, my God. Yeah. So when investigators listen, they find no record of Haley laughing, only her cries of fear. And you can find this pretty easily and I recommend that you don't. It's really fucking troubling. And after she shot the first time, she's heard on the recording screaming, I'm sorry and

oh, my God. And he calls her a bitch and shoots her again and kills her. It's horrific. Yeah. And there are other inconsistencies to Byron's claims of self-defense and fear. He said he had done it because he was so scared someone was breaking his house but it doesn't add up. Prior to the break in, he's heard talking to himself on that recording saying stuff like

in your left eye, which he had later shot Haley in her left eye and quote, I realize I don't have an appointment, but I would like to see one of the lawyers here and sounds like he's on the phone trying to get a lawyer. When they look at his phone records, he hasn't made any calls. He's just practicing saying that the next day, knowing that he's doing something that is going to need to involve a lawyer. Here's the thing. Okay.

If you had six hours recorded of somebody at their house walking around talking by itself a non-murderer, just a person, it would be the creepiest thing you've ever heard. Oh my God. You don't want to know what people are saying and practicing and fucking ranting about. Oh my God. It's me yelling at my eyebrows as I pluck them and shit and then practice. I was like, oh really? Because I actually didn't say that.

And the thing is that you said it first and I said it after you. There's all that. Is that against me? We don't know. It really could be anybody. There's no proof. No. There's nothing.

So the idea that then this is fucking audio recording a person who is cold-bloodedly planning murder is so weird that he knows it's on. He's the one who recorded it in a way that was like, he did it so that he could prove that it was self-defense because in his fucking mind, that's what he was doing. So following the shootings, Smith made a number of other statements including, quote, I'm not a bleeding heart liberal. I felt like I was cleaning up a mess. I was doing my civic duty.

This is all him talking to himself. And if the law enforcement system couldn't handle it, I had to do it and I had to clean it up. And then he said, it's all fun, cool, exciting, and highly profitable until someone kills you. Like he's talking shit to these fucking teens that he just killed. Don't listen. But listen if you're into that.

But don't. It's terrible. You shouldn't listen. I will not ever. I don't want to listen now. So Smith's recorded statements and the evidence indicating he had planned the shootings along with the excessive number of shots fired led to Smith being indicted on two counts of first degree murder in April 2013.

Great. Yes. He posts the $50,000 bail and while on bail lives with his neighbor and her 16-year-old son, which I'm like, mom, don't do that. Please, mom. Mom, can we not? Are they sharing a bunk bed? Like, what's happening?

And why? And why? The charges against Byron Smith sparked this huge debate in the county and in the state over what's called the Castle Doctrine. So y'all love guns here, I guess. We're from fucking California and we don't do that. No? Great.

No, I mean like hunting. I don't mean like you guys are, you know what I mean. We're going to sink it. I swear to God, we're going to do it. Yeah. Just wait. Well, I read the reason I say that is because I was, of course, looking it up on our email account and seeing if anyone had wrote in about this and someone was from there and explaining

what it was like there and said, for example, when we had raffles at school, we'd raffle off shotguns. Like, that was the thing. And he's like, I didn't know that was weird until I got older. Okay. Yeah, but also when you're from like, I'm from a rural part of Northern California and everybody had a gun. Right.

They had a gun for their like 12th birthday, that's very common. Yeah. And they're like shotguns and you know, stuff like that, not, you know, not handguns. Right. It's a, yeah, it's a different thing. Yes. Agreed. From Southern California.

Sorry. Irvine. Irvine. Okay. So the castle doctrine allows a homeowner to defend his home with lethal force. But Minnesota has what's known as a reasonable person doctrine. So basically. Thank you.

So nice. Wouldn't that be nice? How about a nationwide fucking reasonable person doctrine? It's basically what a reasonable person view what he has, he had done to defend himself in his home or what would a reasonable person do in the situation when someone's breaking into their home. So legal analysis, analysts have stated that analysts, thank you. Of course it's like analyzed all crazy all over the place and they state that the initial

shooting most likely would have been justified under Minnesota's laws, but that the subsequent shots were not justified once any threat had been removed. So once he realized they didn't have weapons and they didn't have, you know, a gun, which is they didn't have anything on them, that threat had been removed. So, Hamline University School of Law professor, the law, the fighting. You have to do it. Have we already done the fighting briefcases? Nope.

But there it is. Probably. Isn't that what a law school mascot should be? The law professor Joseph Olson says, I think the first shot is justified after the person is no longer a threat because they're seriously wounded, the application of self‑defense is over. And Sheriff Wetzel from there said that the law doesn't permit you to execute somebody once a threat is gone.

And at trial, the prosecution alleges that Smith's action showed aspects of lying in wait and especially like moving his car so that they didn't think anyone was home, lying in wait and compared Smith's set up to a deer stand a hunter would use. That's what it made me think of. So and the jury also learned a little bit about Smith's background including that he served in the military and he was trained in surveillance. So he, you know, was doing what had been his job only it was with teenagers. The trial last 17 months during which it was debated whether Byron Smith acted in self‑defense

or killed two teenage intruders in cold blood. And on April 29, 2014, the jury deliberated for three hours before convicting Smith on two counts each of first‑degree murder and second‑degree murder with pre‑meditation. That's right. He was immediately sentenced so he didn't get to spend another night with a 16‑year‑old in the bunk bed. Thank God. Immediately sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Yay. Byron Smith's own audio recordings were named by the jurors as the biggest influence on their decision which is so cocky of him that he thought it would show that he exonerated him, right? Like he had no fucking understanding of just humane treatment of people that he thought that this would show that they deserved it somehow. So they said that that was the biggest influence and one of the 12 jurors said that quote the audio recordings pretty much convinced me that we were dealing with a deranged individual.

Some of the jurors later said that they believed Smith had waited a full day before reporting the shootings because he had wanted to see whether other burglars would show up, which makes sense. He even unscrewed other light bulbs from fixtures as night fell so that any new intruders wouldn't be able to see in his basement, almost like he was trying to get them more to come. To the verdict Morrison County Sheriff Michael Wetzel said quote this isn't a case about whether you have the right to protect yourself in your home. You very clearly do.

That's a given. Rather, this is a case about where the limits are before and after a threat to you or your home occurs. So yeah, which is really cool that the sheriff said that I think. So more than 500 people attended the funeral of Haley and Nick. Friends described Haley Keifer as a kind girl. She was a competitive athlete. She was into gymnastics, diving, softball, and cross country.

Nick, friend said, was outgoing and always seemed to be smiling. There's so many photos of him smiling. He worked alongside his father at his tree trimming business and they were kids like we were when we were young, which is just trying to have fun and making some big mistakes that eventually you straighten out. In 2016, Smith's attorney sought a new trial, but the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled that the murder conviction stood and the justices also ruled that they ordered the Keifer and Brady families be paid more than $19,000 to cover the cost of the children's headstones.

And that is the story of the murder of Haley and Nick. Yeah. Wow. That's fucking heavy as shit. Oh my God, Georgia. Right? What a dick. What a tail.

Yeah. It's really sad. What a Thanksgiving tail. That one has stuck with me since I did it. So what's our hometown? Oh, so well, the hometown is from the show that you just threw too. So basically, clearly, I'm the one that shit the bed during that show. Because we would have played the whole thing.

I didn't think of it that way. Karen, that is toxic shame and I refuse to let you continue. Stephen doesn't like my work because you thought we shouldn't use my story in that one. No, no, no. Maybe the, yeah. I don't know, any number of things could have happened and sometimes what it is is like, oh, Stephen's like, guys, the recording started, there's like things like that, it's

not always, it's not always our call. Over the hundreds and hundreds of live shows we've done or at least a couple hundred, yeah. There's been a couple technical difficulties here and there. So this hometown is, we're going back to Minneapolis and it basically is the way we wrapped up the show. That means that if this hometown isn't fucking amazing, we're going to be mad at you. So much pressure. No pressure.

Vince! It means to them. This tour's over! Yeah! The man that made this tour happen, Vince Haverill, everybody. Thank you. He's kept us honest. We're all doing our best.

He's kept us on time. So let's fucking do this hometown and hit the brakes. Yeah, for real. Thank you. Thanks, Vince. All right. Okay, we'll just tell you the rules. You know them, but I'm going to go over them quickly.

Let us end on a high note. Tell us a real good story that's from here. We would love for it to be Minneapolis or St. Paul or somewhere close by. Definitely within the state. Don't bring that other outer state bullshit around. We don't want to hear it. Everyone will hate your guts. You need to know it.

You need to be able to tell it quickly and concisely. And it should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Not just this story tonight, but any story you ever tell anyone. That's very important. Yeah. Don't point at anyone if you don't know their story, because I will blame you. That's right. It sucks.

And now as a group, you could decide amongst yourself who has the best story. Pick someone. And then let the person with the best story stand. If you're a teacher, raise both your hands. Oh, God. Do you want to pick the last one? What? Do you want to pick the last one?

No, I think you've been on a roll. You do a great job of it. I'm so scared. Okay, with pink hair. Oh, shit. Oh, Jesus, this is like the price is right. Go that way. Go that way.

Oh, no. Come on down. Hi, you guys. Hi. Are you all right? I don't understand how you're hanging up there. It makes no sense. Gravity.

From this angle, it looks incredibly dangerous. It's Siri. Hi. Hi. It's Siri, everybody. Hi, it's Siri, come over here. Where are you from? I'm from Egan, Minnesota.

Okay, suburb, she said. Yeah. What's your hometown? Okay. My hometown murder is the attempted murder of my grandfather, Elden Underdahl. So this is Heartland, Minnesota, 1970, about an hour and a half south of here close to Albert Lee, and so it's 1970 summer, my grandfather is like the pastor in town. So he performs.

He's a pastor? Yes. Okay. What? Sorry. So he like performs all the marriage ceremonies, you know, in town because small town. And so there's this couple that is to be married soon, small town, everybody knows them. There's this weird man in town who is secretly obsessed with and in love with the woman in

this couple. This man is Paul R. Bangstrom, and he decides he's going to kill my grandpa to prevent the ceremony from happening. Oh, my God. Very bad logic. Yeah. Yeah. I think that it would like pause it, but I think maybe it's a very bad plan.

Yeah. Yeah. So he drives by my grandfather's house and shoots four bullets into the house. One goes into my dad and uncle's room, like could have hit one of them. I could like not exist, you know? Heavy. Yeah. Yeah.

But like no one dies. They like wake up. They're like, like, what is that? How old are they? Um, like kids are ranging from like nine to 14. Oh, at this point. And so they're like, what's going on? And my grandparents are like, just go to bed.

We'll take care of it. Go back to bed in the room that just got shot at. And so, um, but like the man Paul Bangstrom, he just drives to the police department and like confesses and turns himself in. And so, I mean, he gave up pretty quick, but it is nice. Yeah. Nice of him. It is.

And so no one in my family got killed, but, um, his mother, who he lived with, he shot and murdered her shortly before driving to my grandfather's house. Oh no. Yeah. So like the threat is super real. Oh my God. 1970s be warned. Yeah.

Um, and he went to prison. And so yeah, it was super hard to find any information about this, but there was like a few articles talking about like he was getting convicted of like attempted murder and like second degree murder. And according to my uncle, he went to prison. So there you go. Perfection. Amazing.

Yeah. Fury everyone. Great job. I can kill it. Amazing. Great job. Darling. Yes.

Nice. Great job. Good job. Thanks. Oh my God. Magical. Thank you. Thanks for participating.

You know, right now we should thank everybody that used to come to our live shows, make a poster, stand up, have lit, lit up necklaces and flashlights and scream, scream to the point where they were threatening us to try to get picked, point at their friend that they want to get picked, point at random strangers, we're sorry you never got picked. You'll get a chance. Yeah. Looking like around 2023 cannot wait. That's right.

We should do a tour where we just require every audience member to get on stage and tell us any story at all. Well, what a whole show. And then we don't have to do anything. The whole show, the whole 90 minutes is just hometown, we don't even have to do homework anymore. It's just hometown after hometown. That's the pitch.

After hometown. We sit on stage. We pass the mic. Yeah. And we're just like. You tell us. You don't fucking story. Yeah.

And then we'll decide. And then I'll heckle you while you're talking. Begin. Oh, get me a wine. I guess I'm drinking wine by 2023. Again. You know what? Who knows what could happen?

Who knows? Hopefully. Let me just tell you this. It's popped into my head. Yeah. So Vince Averill, America's husband, hit me the last time I saw you guys. Hipped me to using an app where someone goes grocery shopping for me. Oh, yeah.

I never, I never used it. And then in the beginning of quarantine, people were kind of trying to, it sounded like people were saying they were, it was wrong to use them. Okay. It was a feeling I got. Yeah. Or just like, you know, whatever. So.

So when I brought that up to Vince, he goes, yeah, just give him a big tip and then they're already doing it. Yeah. And then you're saying thank you and you're fine. And I'm like, I really need to talk to you more often. So, um, today I, I ordered it and at one point the guy had to text me and go, hey, sorry, they're all out of Haribo, sour spaghetti, um, gummies and I was like, it's fine. Just take it off.

Oh no. He had to conversation and he, no joke, he was like, they have these and he kept telling me other gummies that they had just humiliating you after humiliation. Hi, Elvis. Come here. It's, it was almost like, it was almost like bullying, but he was trying to do his job the best he could where, and I truly was like, it's for the best. At one point I text him, it's for the best.

Please take it off. It's not helping me or you anymore. I don't need that. I swear, if you haven't tried Haribo Sour Spaghetti, I'm telling you, that's the new one. It's a new one because it's easier, it's easier and less messy to eat than a nerd's rope. And it also has like, um, it has a pencil, pencil eraser consistency when you're eating it.

All right. Stress relief. So you're kind of like, stress relief. You're, exactly. Love it. Well, thanks for listening everyone. If you got to this, this far, then you're, you're a true follower of Murderino and we appreciate you.

We love you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you. We appreciate you taking it easy. Yeah. Um, please, please relax. We love you. Yep.

Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Elvis. You want a cookie? You want a cookie? Hi, I'm Cara Clank and I'm Lisa Traeger and we are the amateur detectives who kind of

investigate the vicious felonies that episodes of Law and Order SVU are based on. These are our stories. Tune into our new show. That's messed up an SVU podcast premiering December 8th on Exactly Right. Every Tuesday we break down episodes of Law and Order Special Victims Unit, the crimes they're based on, and we interview actors from the show. Are we going to try to get Olivia Benson? Duh, of course.

Are we also going to talk to the bartender who doesn't stop unloading glasses while he recounts a murder victim's exact drink order? Yes. Are we going to be thinking, oh no, do I have to have seen all 479 episodes to enjoy the show? No, you don't. We have done that for you. Hello, USA Network.

Thanks for all your characters. We'll take you through the episode and then do a deep dive into the true crime it's based on. Look, it's SVU, so we're covering some pretty messed up cases, but we're comedians, so we're also going to talk about Benson's hair. Yeah, you're going to get it all. Classic cases like Mary K. Latterno, Casey Anthony, and Elizabeth Smart, and lesser known cases like the Ken and Barbie Killers, the Collier Brothers, and the Boogie Man of Westfield.

Join us as we learn new things. Why does anybody go to Hudson University in the SVU universe? It is literally riddled with rapes and murders. In real life, on SVU, there is always problems. Hudson University's not real. Oh, it's not. No. Wow, learning something every episode.

I did not know that. And we share super deep observations. The news gets out, she's a cyberbullier, and there's like a beauty and the beast style like brigade. Oh, yeah. A mob goes to her house, which I always find so funny. And it's like in New York City, people don't talk to their neighbors, but in this show, people are constantly like at a neighbor's house, like, get out of here, you rapist.

We've got opinions on judges. Judge Palumbo, he is disgusting. I'm getting chills thinking about this judge lawyers. You can in like for sure got his law degree at Trump University, suspects. So we meet Dizer Fidelia's baby daddy, and he's a true monster wearing a gold chains and a t-shirt that says wreck and dex and get in sex. And he's like DJing somewhere and trying to like use slang with iced tea and iced tea is like, I will motherf***ing kill you.

And our powerful, beautiful queen, Mariska. I just feel like Mariska Hargitay is physically incapable of having a bad haircut. I mean, like even that spiky season two look, it's like, it's still a surf. Like she does it. You know what I mean? And all those moments we love SVU for what a twist. We learned that this guy learned how to butt chug alcohol via his mother. He's been helping his mother butt chug for years.

And we've interviewed some incredible guest stars who spill all the tea. Can I be honest? Yes. Yeah. This is truly a scoop. I didn't imagine a minute in. I was like, if I didn't get my interrogation with Mariska, I'm out of here. I so appreciate you breaking your no interview rule for us.

You're asking me this with two minutes to spare. So be sure to listen to That's Messed Up and SVU podcast when it premieres Tuesday, December 8th on Exactly Right. Subscribe right now on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts or wherever you pod. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.