My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 252 - The Great La-Z-Boy Uprising: Advice Q&A

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

This week, Karen and Georgia lend their amateur advice to your low-stakes problems.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is exactly right. We at Wondery live, breathe, and downright obsess over true crime. And now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C, on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music. Exhibit C, it's truly criminal. Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder. That's Georgia Hartster.

That's Karen Kilgarith. I was going to call it a maxisode, but I think we've gone into that whole joke. Yeah. But it's one too many. One too many times. I mean, we're going to have to start recycling our hilarious jokes because what else to do is there's only 12. That's right.

And there's only three of them are period jokes. So if you want this to go 10 years, you're going to have to hear some of the same jokes. Hold on. Who wants it to go 10 years? Wait a second. Wait a second. What are we doing? Six and three quarters?

Or so? A hard. It's really interesting right now, say how many years you think it's going to go. Shit. Two. 15. Oh. Somewhere in between two and 15 then.

Mm-hmm. Is that the queen on your mug? Okay, great. 13. That's perfect. Is the queen on your mug? Is that what? The queen?

Oh, no. Okay. No, this is one of... This is a thing that I've always thought was hilarious. It's a line of cards by someone named Ann Tainter. I don't know if that's a real person or not. But it's like, she says, it's a 50s picture and it's like, you can lead a horse to water, but I need a triple espresso.

It's very much like office humor. I love those. It's like an old timey lady with a like, I'm going to kill your husband kind of thing. I found a card from my mom and it said, it's a lady that's like, looks like she's from the 40s. It looks like it was taken from a cigarette ad. And then it's this type written thing over it that says, maybe I want to look cheap. It was from my mom.

Can I just say? That's the last thing that I would think that you would be into. Like, I don't know why. I don't know why. I find it delightful. And oftentimes, well, this line especially, this one's a little muted. Usually it's more, the comedy is more along those lines. And it just always makes me laugh.

There's like magnets. Yeah. You find them in those like, in like a Madison on like the main dragon, those like, those like hipster kind of alternative stores that have tons of gifts and socks and like prayer candles, but with like, share on it or whatever. Exactly. And like, these are like, you like retro stuff, but you also like a sharp sense of humor. It's that thing.

And I had this friend that I used to work with, Karen Anderson. And finally one day she goes, you love that, don't you? And I was just like, what do you mean? Every time it was her birthday, anything, I always got her that card. I was always giving her those magnets. And she's just like, yeah, you're really, you're really into this. And I'd never noticed before that it was just this weird kind of go-to thing that I have. That makes my life so much easier as far as giving gifts to you because I would never

have gotten you one of those because I'd be like, she thinks this is cheesy, but I've seen you with like a couple different versions of it thinking like someone must have given it to you and you just kept it. Well, they do, but like, it's like when someone gives me something, I always try to like look at it like, what are they trying to, you know, it's almost like a person going, this is what you seem like to me. Oh, yeah. And so you, you can't really deny it.

In fact, I'm pretty sure listener gave me this much, pretty sure. I've seen them for sure backstage at live shows. Someone has given you like a makeup bag that says that on it or something. Maybe I want to look cheap. I don't know. I think it's funny. I love that. I love that.

That is so true of a gift-giving where it's like someone saw a thing and thought of you, whether it made them think she'll, she'll laugh at this or she'll cry at this or it's like when, when you get a black cat and then for the rest of your life, your family gives you black cat stuff. For example, my sister is, she only gets black cat stuff now. Who wants driver and say, yeah, no, I think she's like after a while, is she really? Oh, good. She's never been big enough to tell me.

My mom got into chickens and four years in, she was like, if I ever fucking see a chicken again, I'm gonna lose my mind. My mom, penguins, she, we, that's all we got her is penguin shit. You say you like one animal and that's the fucking rest of your life. You're done for. Yeah, because then I think people have like a natural like, oh, it's fun to get a person a thing if you see the thing they love, like this will make them happy. Yeah.

That's a nice idea. Yeah. Meanwhile, you're over there with your penguins surrounding you going, I other, I like other things as well. You're up to your fucking beak and penguin shit at that point. I've seen that movie. I know. Yeah.

The goddamn figurines are everywhere. They're all over the place. What's up? How are we? How are we? What do people give you as gifts? Let's see. Vince gets like, Vince is really good at it.

It's annoying. What does he get me? Is he the kind of person that listens to stuff you say six months before Christmas or the holidays and then writes it down and then you're getting it as a gift? Yes. Do you know how stressful that is as a person who's kind of bad at gifts and I can't keep a, I gave him a gift today. Okay.

I got something. Veronica? For Christmas. I mean, he's always Christmas, but I was like, you need this today instead of in two weeks. So you know, he, we've gotten to this place in the quarantine where it's like no one's going to be in our house for a while. So let's just be comfortable. So we took out the mid-century, modern, West Elm, like beautiful chair and he got a straight

up lazy boy. Yes. So I called the company and I was like, give me a lazy boy. So, yes. Which is like kind of killed me a little inside as someone who's very like stylistic, you know, how everything in my house is. Yes. Uh-huh.

Thank you. That's exactly right. When he moved in, when he moved in with me, partly I'm sure had to do with the fact that he had moved to LA with no possessions at all. So I was like, sure, you can fit in my house with all my things, but like you're not bringing your like, you're like college fucking coffee table or whatever. Yeah. That one IKEA bookshelf that everyone's had that's either white, black or fake wood.

Right. That I have to be like, no, it fits right in. So now I'm a lazy boy. I feel like they now understand that people want the comfort and the style and they've updated their shit. This isn't one of those. Okay. Yes.

They do have some good ones. But you know, he wanted it like, you know, he and his dad used to have them and it reminds me of his dad. So it's like special. And also Kristen Bell does ads for them. So I'm like, well, if she says it's okay, then I'm okay with it. So we got him that and now I'm just like getting him Christmas accessories for the like lazy boy to like build off of it.

Sure. I mean, a little side table where you can put his beer and like a little pouch where you can like put his computer and it's like joints and it's a TV guide that he can reach for. So that really is that, I mean, that really is if you are into retro stuff and that is a very retro that is like in 1975, in my opinion, you're totally right. Wait, is it a Nogahide, like a brown Nogahide chair that reclines? No, it's like, it's one of those.

I don't know what Nogahide is fake leather. No, it's like corduroy. It's like blue corduroy. Yeah. Right up. And it's the one he had at his dad's house. It must be. Yeah.

And it's like, it's puffy. It's like the bottom line. Like he didn't want a fancy one. He wanted like the cheapest kind. It's so loud when he has to like, you know, the leg thing and then you put the leg down. It's like clunk, clunk, like scares the cats. Yep. That's the declaration.

You're either going back for the evening or coming down to go do something. But now he's never on the couch with me. So like sometimes I have to be like, can you just come sit next to me? We haven't touched in like three days. And he's like, I will in a half an hour. I just need to keep my legs up. It's pretty cool. I definitely use it when he's not around.

Yeah. They really, I feel like the lazy boys, it's a, it's an American tradition for a reason. We had a green Naga hide one, which is, you know, just green fake leather, olive green fake leather that we used to fight over. And then when my mom got home, it was like everyone had to clear the area. That was her. That was her spot. That's awesome that everyone was like, no one tries to take it from mom.

She's a fucking nurse. First of all, and she's been on her feet all day and she'll fuck and she'll freeze you with her eyes. So you, you had, you, you just have already learned your lesson about that, but yeah, I love that. That's fun. Yeah. So that's it.

That's it. That's it. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to our podcast. Goodbye. We'll see you in 13 years. When we do our last episode. What do we took of 13 year hiatus?

Hey, how many quilts do we have left? What are you doing? What are you doing? Well, loving. Oh, well, we have to talk about the final episode of murder on Middle Beach. Is it murder in Middle Beach or on Middle Middle Beach? It's on. We should.

Why though? There's no beach involved in that TV show and the name of the town is Madison, which is also his name. It's on Stephen. Murder on Middle Beach. Well, Middle Beach must be the little neighborhood. So it's still be in. I don't know.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know what they're doing. But let's call him. What a final. Whatever. What a final episode. What a final episode. You and I were texting beforehand and were like, you think you thought it was this person.

I thought it was this person. Yes. You said, how about a friendly $5,000 wager? Which I was joking about by the way. I know you were. I was like, absolutely. And then you're like, you know, we share all our money. Right.

Which was so funny. Because it wouldn't have mattered. Basically I could just move some money from this side of the bank account over to that side. Exactly. I felt very strongly about who my pick was. And then of course, and I might as well say it because I'm sure, I think I said something about it last week, which we don't know who the, we actually don't know who the killer

is, which is how I got out of paying Georgia $5,000. Pay yourself. Well, when the charges are brought, I will send you a check, but a spoiler alert here. So we can actually talk about. Oh, yes. Spoiler, spoiler. Definitely go watch this if you haven't because now all four episodes are up. So you can page it.

HBO. And it is really good documentary filmmaking and fascinating and it goes on. He made this thing for 10 years and it's his family. It's like, it's, it's really fascinating. It kills me. The dad stuff is so hard to watch. The every part is hard to watch. Okay.

You're right. The show of hard parts for me, the dad part is the hardest. Well, because now there, you're, it feels like you're dealing with someone who is very different than your average dad and doing things that. And you want to, yeah, I want to stick up for him and he can't do it because it's his dad and he still wants a relationship, but I want to be in the backseat of that car out front and be like, what are you fucking talking about? It's just that.

Right. And when you love someone, it's impossible to understand their motive because it might crush you. You know what I mean? Very true. And also the, he was pulling some things while talking about his side, which was all the son was asking for was just explained to me how things ended up like this. And in doing so, he begins to completely shit on the mother and who she was as a person,

which I was like, this is not a good look for you. And it is not making me think you're any less guilty or it's not making you think you're a good person. No, no. And imagine he's not guilty and he's still just berating this child's, your child's dead mother. Yeah. Like who do you think you are?

I think that's what it really triggered in me is that this father clearly has no understanding of how anything he does or anything he says affects his own kid who has pure intentions. Like you are dad, you are a piece of shit, whether or not you killed the kid cause you're kind of an asshole. But your kid is pure at heart and has good intentions and lost his mommy and you're such an asshole, you know? It's the coldness is shocking and it's the kind of thing where I'm coming from people who are not entirely like forthcoming or feelings oriented, warm, kind of.

It's like to a degree, but it just isn't acceptable. It isn't acceptable for somebody to do that to the memory of it. It was just like a shocking moment and you see him anyway, this is so much spoiler. But it's a personality disorder that that man has for sure. And clearly, yeah, because the proof is in the paperwork that they find, but I really thought it was the sister. And the sister showed all these signs that I was just like, and then I was just like kind of building the story around what I was looking at and also based on what other people

in the show were saying. And it was just, it's so great to watch one of those things that makes you go, I'm positive this is it. Oh my God, I was entirely wrong. Totally. That's kind of what I think a lot of true crime is about. Yeah. She's actually a lovely person that your heart goes out to because she's just doing her

best with what she was given, just like him. With massive trauma. She was there. Yeah. It's like, she saw her mom's dead body. Like it's unbelievable. How do you get past that, but move to fucking Argentina or whatever and like join a family that hopefully seems pretty together and you're like, right?

My heart is warm for her that she has this welcoming family now. And that she did the things like when she finally gets to say her side of it, it makes so much sense. And it's really healthy of like, I went to get the life I wanted and I know that's what mom would want from me. I was blown out at that turn. It was real. But also that's the filmmaking part is they lead you down these paths.

They lead you into that kind of like, Oh, I know who it is. And then those turns are just like such good lessons. Well, officially, what I think happened, and this is giving that father a lot of yelling him off the hook in a way I don't totally want to. But I think that maybe it was some of his shady associates that sent him a message or took collateral and went and claim their collateral. So I don't totally think that it was him who attacked her, but it was because like, I would make sense to me that because of him, these things happen and that's why he won't discuss

his shady doings because he's putting his son at risk too, perhaps, or he's still responsible for it. It's still, you know, he could still be tried and everything. So right. Well, but then also the thing that is so fascinating about this whole story is that that's still just one piece of the pie because we're, it's like, it could be the ladies from the tables. It could be people she absolutely. She was starting to bring in like X addicts and people who didn't have the money.

It could be a spouse of one of the people who she kind of not scam, but whose money she took and it was their entire life savings. And that spouse got upset and killed her easily, I mean, but who knows. I don't think so. But yes. Oh, please let there be a season two as quickly as possible. I need to see that paperwork. We need to get into it.

It's just like, oh my God. Anyway. That's all speculation, by the way, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly and also spoilers Ramah. Yeah. Spoilers left, right and center. These people stayed for the spoilers. Spoilers are over.

These people stayed because they watched it. So they want to be, they want to hear the discussion. That's right. Cool. That's right. That's exactly right. Boom. Now I went to the other end of the spectrum and once I was finished with that show, I

started watching Murder on the Bayou. Have you, it's older. Have you watched that at showtime? No. Oh, what's that about? It is a story about a town in Louisiana, a small town where women who in the local press, they kept being referred to as women with high risk lifestyles start showing up dead. And it is one of the most heart wrenching things to watch.

It really is about this line between poverty and not poverty in America. It's about drug use and the way people get eaten up and the value of human life based on how much money you have in the bank or not. Yeah. Or the things, the decisions you've made that have led you down a path that you, yeah, I mean. That you don't, there's no out. I mean, it's really, it's a very, it was a very kind of, I didn't do it on purpose as

somebody had recommended it to me. And I started watching it and just went, wow, this is like, this is the story that you should definitely watch after murder in Middle Beach because it's like, okay, that's the story we always get in true crime about, can you believe this beautiful rich blonde mom was murdered in the middle of the day? And then you switch over to this other show where it's like, I've never even heard of this story of, I think it ended up being seven or eight women, the bodies being found all over this town over a very, it was like a couple year period, but it's shocking.

And it's, yeah, it was, it's, I'm still in the middle of it. So I'm not sure where we're going, but man, is it like disturbing and, and, and, you know, stuff needs to get done. I think I think they're always remember about stuff like that, like especially for people listening who, who like our show is to, when you see stuff like that and you say to yourself, well, they were, they were living a risky lifestyle or they, you know, we're asking for it somehow by doing, why would anyone do those things is that both you and I lived very risky lifestyles and, you know, I was a drug addict, you're an alcoholic.

It's by the fucking grace of God, am I, was I not deeper in it than, than I was. Well, and there's a really great reporter in this TV show that is talking about how that phrase got used and how unacceptable that phrase is that, that, that basically it was a phrase that was being reported on because the sheriff used the phrase and it was essentially telling the town, you don't have to care about these women. Don't worry. Right. It's not like, it was a way of them basically saying they not, not causing a panic by saying

they, by implying they brought it on themselves. And it's so crazy to think of like, you, when you hear that phrase, you think of like, okay, they must have been on the streets and like a total, you know, meth head or whatever. When really it's like, we've all done a little coke at a party and gone to a second party and there was coke there. And if you, if that, that is a person, that's a person they would label someone who's putting themselves at risk when really the amount of people who do those little things and get away with it.

So they don't think of themselves as our risk is most of us, you know, at least the fine ones. And in a town like that, you start doing something like meth, where you're addicted the first, second, third time you do it, then you're in a lifestyle that it doesn't really matter what your life was before that because you just need, then you're just kind of in it. And it's just a fascinating, it's such an interesting, fascinating story that should really needs to be told and is told beautifully.

It's shot beautifully. It's just, it's, and the people, it's just fascinating murder on the bio. Yeah. It's been up for a while. It sounds familiar. I've heard of it before, but I just assumed it was like one of those, you know, how the ID channel sometimes does it. Yeah.

It's like murder in the south or in a red bra or whatever. Yeah. So I just, I think I thought that's what it was. And then, yeah. And then someone said, no, no, it's, you should watch it. It's great. It's a couple podcasts I'm listening to and a book I'm listening to that is definitely like I'm going to decide to bake bread now because I just want to listen to this book

kind of thing. Okay. Is this going along with more of your cottage core stuff that you've decided to get into? No, I've given up on that, but now I'm following this new, so wait, what's going on? Did you order bees? Where, how far along are the bees? I haven't ordered bees, but I'm following a bee lady that I am obsessed with. So many people tagged me in her shit because she's just incredible.

You sent it to me. Georgia sent it to me. It's the lady cupping handfuls of bees to get them out and I just wrote back, you've lost it. I was sending it. I would be like, see, it's not just me and Karen was like, you're out of your fucking mind. You've lost it.

I don't know what this is. This woman is called her, the Instagram is Texas bee works. Her name is Erica Thompson. She's a beekeeper. And she does really beautiful like ASMR style, you know, stories about her going to save all these bees and how and what she does. And it's so fascinating and she's so cool. Like I want to get a non-alcoholic beer with her if we're ever in Texas again.

She's amazing. So Texas bee works. I'm digging. Awesome. And it's important. I make jokes. I'm teasing Georgia because it's fun, but it is important because we can't lose the bees.

That's right. It's hard work. It is crucial. Yeah. And I know that. But it won't be me. Full respect. Don't worry.

Um, no, this, the other stuff doesn't have to do with my cottage core, but, um, listening to a book. It's Little House on the Prairie. Little House on the Prairie. It's How to Knit and Sew Your Own Bonnet by Amelia Bedelia. Oh, cool. Great. Remember Amelia Bedelia?

Sure do. That's me. And she didn't know what the fuck she was doing. She was out of her GD mind. That lady. That lady. Couldn't clean for shit. She made a bigger mess.

That was the great part. I love it. It was nuts. Um, this book's by Brit Bennett and it's called The Vanishing Half. It's so good. It's like, you know, the generational stories of each person in that family and what happened to them and how they got there, but essentially it's twin, the story revolves around twin sisters and one of them vanishes.

And the, like, search for her, but the, like, the twin who stayed, like, her daughter and her husband and what happens to her life and the daughter goes to LA and becomes a track star. Like, it's just, but it's like heartfelt and beautiful and really well written and it's just great. Awesome. And then I have two podcasts I'm listening to. You know how I love like sleeping podcasts that help you go to sleep at night, like sleep

with me. There's one that I've been listening to called Nothing Much Happens. It's hosted by Catherine Nicolai and she has this beautiful soothing voice and she writes a story that's like straight up, um, it's almost like a fairy tale that she writes this beautiful little story where nothing much happens, but they're still like lovely so that if you want it, they're almost cottagecore stories, actually, where she lives in a cabin. It's snow. If I'm being honest, she finds a kitten and invites the kitten into her house.

And, and Mr. Cat that she didn't have and be maybe she'll do one with bees and she tells the story twice once, you know, a 15 minute story that she wrote and then tells it again slower and you're, I'm out within five minutes, but the stories are beautiful. So even if you can't fall asleep, you're listening. So that's great. Nothing much happens. Nothing much happens. That's such a good idea.

That's, that's like, um, Rosemary and time, even though their murders do happen and it's right crazy because their groundskeepers essentially everywhere they go, someone gets killed, but it's the same feel of British rhythmic speaking and kind of low key. No one yells. There's no gunshots. Right. And you can picture yourself in the cabin with the, they're like cozy stories, you know, that's great.

It's very smart. Um, and then the other one is, have you heard of terrible things for asking? No. Yeah. I, so my friend, Melissa Boyle, uh, texts me this link to it. And I've seen, I've seen it on iTunes a million times, but she sent me specifically a link to like, they, she did a, it's, um, her name is Nora McInerney and she did a three part story about like childhood trauma, which is such a huge epidemic now they're saying.

So that was really good. But then I was looking at other episodes and it's just a really like, it's a cool podcast where like, you know, when you ask someone how is, how is everything and they're like fine. Well, these are all interviews with people where shit was not fine. You know, when it's like really, it's, it's, it's like a higher level, smart people produced podcast, you know, and, uh, it's really cool. It's really good.

That's cool. That's terrible. Thanks for asking. Um, terrible. Thanks for asking. That's good. I should write that down. Yeah.

You like it. You think that one. I, um, yeah. Cause I, there, there's, that's what I love. I really love people telling a story. That's what I love about, um, this is actually happening is people who are past the trauma point that can go back and say, here's, listen to this. Here's what happens.

Here's what happened to me. It's, it's so, I love that this is, so I found this podcast because people were posting like, say their top five podcasts and showing them to us as like, Hey, you're on my list, which is lovely. And thank you everybody for doing that. Um, but on many of the lists, there was a podcast called let's not meet. Have you heard of this? No.

This name is Andrew Tate and he basically reads, sometimes they're from Reddit threads. Sometimes people email them in, but essentially it's a horrible moment, a scary moment, a creepy moment from someone's life. And so that the end it's like, so guy from the water park, let's not meet. And it's this, it is so good. And when it, when I first started it, I was like, Oh, it's not the people telling the stories themselves. So I don't know if I like that.

It's like narrative. So it's later. I was just like, I have been binging it for like three days. Like what kind of stories like just, Oh, it's like, it's basically red flag bonanza. Like your worst day or I did something fucked up. No, no, no, your worst like moment of we moved into this apartment. Okay. So here's the one, I'll tell you the one that got me hooked.

And this was like on in the first episode, a woman's on the road for work. And so this group of people from her work are staying in all the same, the same hotel together, and they have to go to work every day. They come back at six and then they go out to dinner together and this one day. So this one day, her friend from work has the room across the hall in this hotel. They come back at five that a little early, they're going to go down the pool. It's like their last day. She walks into her hotel, her hotel room and she realizes someone's in the bathroom.

The first thing she assumes is that it's the, it's the hotel cleaning lady. And so she says, Oh, hello with someone here, and then just some lady walks out and she's holding a bag. And then the woman realizes her stuff is all on the bed. There's stuff everywhere. And she's like, wait, who are you? And the woman goes, no, no, no, it's fine. I just, I'm leaving.

Don't worry. It's fine. She looks over. There's a mini like a, like a baseball bat that you would be given at the, at the, at the ballpark on like a that night or whatever. There's one of those laying on the bed with a flashlight tape to it. There's all this weird shit all around and the lady's walking out with a bag. So she stops her and goes, hold on a second.

Are you taking any of my stuff? And she goes, no, no, look, it's all my stuff opens the bag. The lady, like she looks into the bag. None of her stuff is there. So she just, she's so weirded out that she lets the lady leave her friend across the hall who had just been walking into her room kind of hears this and comes out. So she saw the lady leave too. And then they're both kind of like, what was that?

So they go, so her friend comes back into the room with her. They start looking around. Stuff has been moved around a bunch of her clothes have been stuffed into a bag. Her passport's been stuffed into a bag. There's all kinds of things in flux of like, it looks like she was about to get robbed. And they're looking and then she goes into the bathroom and realizes some of her medicine has been stolen, which I took to mean like Valium and stuff like that. I know they're not taking your fucking well butchering or whatever.

Yeah, exactly. So she calls down to the front and is like, Hey, just so you know, I just caught a lady in my room and they're like, that doesn't make sense. They call the cops. The cops show up and they take the report, but they're kind of like, yeah, you probably, like they're kind of giving her that we don't believe you or did you take anything? Yeah. Yeah.

Did you give your key to someone? This doesn't really make sense. Whatever. So the cop, they take the report and they leave and then her and her friend go into the bathroom to check if there's anything else missing and then she notices there's a bunch of drywall on the bathroom sink. So they pull the mirror from the wall. There's a two foot hole that lady had been living in the wall.

Holy shit. So apparently when they built this hotel, I'm just telling you the story that I heard on this podcast like word for word, but she had basically crawled in there and was living in the walls of this hotel. So she could go into any room that she could get access from that inner walk space. So when they looked into the hole, there was a pillow and so they thought the baseball bat with the flashlight was like her thing in the wall that she walked around with. Did they catch her?

Yep. Don't tell us anymore. That I mean, the thing about that is like, why would you make a mess? You're spoiling your entire like operation. She didn't think the girl was coming back for two hours because every day she came back at seven. There's a movie. So there was like she knew.

There's a documentary. Hey, Vince. What's that documentary about the hotel, the motel owner? Oh yes. I've seen it where he's peeking down. Yeah. What's that called? The guy, the motel owner who can peek into his rooms.

Vince has laid all the way out in that. He's completely flat. He's like, it looks like a massage table. I told him. I asked him to get me something that only he knew where it was and he goes, why don't you do it? Which is if you know Vince, the least Vince thing that's ever been said, he's never said that to me in my life.

This is the great lazy boy uprising. I was like, okay, well, just tell me where it is. And he just gave me these elaborate instructions and then I was like, okay. What is it? Voyeur on Netflix is about a motel owner who built his motel so that he could watch people. It's a really fascinating documentary. The thing I just want to say really quick about Let's Not Meet, there are so many stories where young women say, I didn't want to be rude.

I didn't want to be mean. I didn't, I wasn't sure what to say. And we've gone over this. I didn't believe myself kind of thing. But then most of them, because they, you know, whatever happens, they're like, but I had this feeling. I had this feeling. Or they tell stories of their mom being like, get the fuck away.

And that's how they got away from a person. But it's really, if you are like a young woman, it's a really good listen of like, just things to consider. Just things to the possibilities of the way people try to get into a building when they start out real nice, but if you contradict them at all, their personality changes, like those kinds of things, that those red flag moments that I felt, every time I listened, of course I was creeped out, but I was also like, good to know. Yeah.

Good to confirm. Well, that's so true that when you hear experiences of other people standing up for themselves, you're more likely to do it yourself. And actually it happened to me, like when we first started the podcast, like when fuck politeness first was a thing they were talking about, I like went to, this isn't a big deal, but I like went to a post this gym that was prompt, like private gym, they were promising they were going to help me with my back. But he didn't explain anything correctly.

This is like big guy and he didn't explain really how the back works and how it was going to help me, but was really pressuring me to like sign a fucking $500, you know, contract when really I he had not convinced me at all, but I didn't want to be rude and I had gotten like my ID out and my credit card out and I was about to do it because I didn't want to be rude and then suddenly I was like, how am I going to tell the podcast about this? You know, like I've been saying fuck politeness a million times, like they're not going to, I have to live up to what I'm saying. And I was just like, never mind, I don't, I'll call you by and like took my shit and

left and was, it was fine and he was an asshole about it. And I was so glad I did that, but it's hard, it's fucking hard. Well, especially when someone has kind of lured you with quote unquote kindness, that's why I think it's so interesting to check that same thing happened to me at a vet where this vet, I Frank was like doing these weird yelps and I thought that either he pulled his back, he did something and I was really worried about him. So I bring him in and this guy who I'd never, I'd been going to this vet for a while and all of a sudden it was a new guy and he started immediately started trying to sell me these

homeopathic remedies and at one point, and he kept saying he needs this and he needs that. And finally I said, why don't you do the x-ray first because we don't even know what he needs. And then this guy got so pissed, he was, and then I just was like, they took, they went and took the x-ray. I made sure that Frank's back wasn't broken and nothing was like over and then I left and I never went back.

I was just like, you got to be fucking kidding me. Like that guy was so aggro and weird. And the second I asserted myself, he was pissed and didn't think he had to keep it from me that he was pissed. Right. It's like, it's your business. It's your business. Rude to you about your natural fucking response.

Like if you're giving the hard sell, I get to say, hey, stop giving the hard sell. You don't have to scream it, you just get to say it, hey, I'm not going to buy a bunch of homeopathic shit when we don't know what's wrong with the dog. Totally. It's like, oh, well, I guess he had all these reactions where I'm like, oh, you're crazy. This is weird. So it's fine. You okay now?

Oh, that was like three years ago. Man, it's hard, but it's important. It's never going to be totally comfortable if you're not comfortable saying, calling people out. It'll never be comfortable, but I think the important thing to be like the practice of it makes you comfortable with it because you get to prove to yourself that it's actually you're right and it's not that big of a deal to do it. You might have a little bit of a, uh, but it's going to be way more comfortable than

people getting to manipulate you and take money out of your hand because you're trapped by them. I don't think it'll ever be comfortable for me, but I think what I've learned is that discomfort is okay sometimes. And like being in a not happy, everyone's stoked and I didn't upset anyone's situation happens and, uh, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. It doesn't mean you've ruined someone's day and it doesn't matter either. It's, it's, it's hard for someone who, you know, is like talk to be nice all the time

and is scared of not, like even having to wear a mask in public is hard for me because I can't smile at people and show that I'm friendly. It's like a dog wagging its tail, you know, it's like, it's been really, uh, incite, insightful insight to me. Well, because I think having to put that down for a little bit, you get to question what that is actually about because it's not about everyone's happy. That is not true. Like just because people are smiling or laughing doesn't mean people are happy at all.

It means people are being manipulated into feeling pressured to act that way. And I think the feeling of like what's, what's the truth of this scenario as opposed to make sure everyone's like showing their teeth or if you can control every situation as long as they know you're friendly and you're friendly and so they're not going to do bad things to you and you're friendly and so no one will be mad at you or if you fuck something up, it's okay because you're nice and friendly and so they won't hate you and that's, that's about me and my insecurities. Well, and I think it, it bites you in the ass later because when it doesn't work out

or whatever, then you're really mad and then you have like a recoil feeling that makes you feel worse. Yeah. You know what I mean? You get yourself into this kind of, it needs to be this way and it has to do, it's like a lot of rules that actually don't apply to anything. Luckily there's a little, I've got a little Janet in me where I can turn a smile into an angry, an angry smile pretty quickly.

Do you know what happened to me? I, I had my first experience of asking someone to put their mask on in public. Oh, how'd that go? Which, God damn it, that feels good. Can I tell you who it was? My fucking pharmacist. Oh, wow. All the people who should have a mask on in my mom and pop pharmacy that I go to.

Indoors. Indoors dealing with the medicine of sick people and he doesn't have a mask on. That's ridiculous. He's the guy who works at the counter who I've been, you know, he's just, he's an employee there and I've been, he's known me forever because I'm highly medicated. So I've dealt with him a lot. You know, he's an older guy and so he like, you know, seems like you should wear a mask around this older guy to make sure he stays healthy.

So I said, like, why doesn't that guy have his mask on and he goes, well, he's the owner so I can't really say anything. He said, he, he says he puts it on when he comes out from behind the farm, the counter, but it's like, it's, there's an open wind. It doesn't, it's open. So I said, well, I should say something and, and then he goes, do it. He like whispered to me, do it. He's like, okay.

And that's so not like me, you know, to call people out and I fucking, hey, sir, why don't you have a mask on? I said it very curiously and, and he got so, I thought we were going to fight and he got so sheepish. Oh, it's in my pocket and I was like, well, there's sick people here and he, and then he like made some excuse about it on the phone how he, no one can understand him on the phone. Bullshit.

Hey, Rudy Giuliani. That's not true. That's right. So he took it out of his pocket and put it the fuck on. And I think my well butchering is going to be free from now on, from this fucking employee. But like, how many articles have we all read that it's, if you're indoors with no windows or no direct ventilation, you have three minutes before somebody that has it and could be asymptomatic would be spreading it around and you could be in a, I didn't know that as a Walmart.

Yeah. So there's one person in Walmart that's not wearing a mask that has it. You've got three and a half minutes in that building before you could possibly inhale what they're exhaling. Nobody in Walmart's not wearing a mask though. Oh, no, everyone's, they're not mad. They're not fighting with the greeter. Everything's fine.

It's just so inconsiderate. Like at the same time, there was a woman there who was clearly illed from something and you're not wearing your mask and you're handling her, her fucking meds. It's just unconscionable. Wow. Well, good job. Thank you. It was really, it was fun.

It felt good. And it also sounds like you did it right where you didn't, it wasn't, you didn't have to scream or point your finger. It was a genuine question of, Hey, am I wrong here or shouldn't you the pharmacist be wearing a mask? It's the thing of raising your voice so that everyone's going to hear it is so hard to do when you're, you know, not like that, but you're calling attention to yourself, which is,

Do you want to know the trick of that? Yeah. You go, Really? That's what I do. You're just like, No, no. I'm Karen. I thought you were going to give me some fucking.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Hey you fucker. Hey you fuck. Hey you fuck. Here's what you do. You put up the Polly Walnut's devil fingers and you pointed him with your index and pinky. Pinkie and index out. That's like, it's like rock and roll, but to the side.

Yeah. To the side. Polly Walnut. Hey man. This is Devil Horne's metal concert. This is Polly Walnut. Don't do that. Don't do the wrong one or they'll think you're a Satanist.

If you go down, that's you kind of trying to find water. What? Oh, uh, you got anything else or should we do? Those are my, those are my things. Should we do a little, uh, what's going on on the exactly right, um, network? Yeah, let's do it. Hey you guys, we have a network. Hi.

Um, well, what's exciting is our, our new, uh, law and order SVU recap slash, uh, true crime slash interview podcast called That's Messed Up hosted by, um, Cara Clank and Leigh Zrager. The two hilarious comedians who are so funny, such hilarious women. That premiered on Tuesday, um, and they had the cast member Kate Burton on, um, and it's, it's such a good podcast. They're so funny and great. And if you like law and order, law and order SVU, whatever you can get on there, you'll

know exactly what they're talking about. Yeah. And it's just the best. And you don't need to watch the episode to know it's just, they're really funny women. If you think we're your aunts, these are your fucking aunts. Like these two women, they're like, you want them at your family parties. They're just such incredible, funny people. So check that out, please.

That's messed up. Yeah. They're like, you know, they're exactly right podcast, tenfold more wicked, which is killing it and doing so incredible. You guys love it. And we love that. So they're continuing the story of Edward Roloff. Um, so make sure to check in on that.

Yep. That's really good. Um, oh, I'm going to skip down because my friend Michelle Boutot was on bananas this week. God. She's a hilarious standup comic. She's a good friend of mine. She also has a book out.

It's just came out. I think, um, Tuesday it's called survival of the thickest. She is hilarious genius and she's on there with Curt and Scotty. So that's going to be a very good time. She is a fucking national treasure. She's the greatest international treasure really, um, on murder squad, Billy and Paul discussed the unsolved murder of 12 year old Jennifer Odom. She disappeared after getting off the school bus on February 19th, 1993.

Her remains were found six days later. The case is unsolved and of course Billy and Paul do an incredible job of covering that case. Yeah. That's really, that's good. Um, Millie and Danielle over on, I saw what you did. The movies they're talking about this week are fame and step up, the prequel to step up to the streets.

Um, so, so go, uh, that, that came out on Tuesday, so go listen to that on, on Stephen Ray Morris and Sarah Iyer's podcast, the per cast talking, talking to cat people because it can't talk to your cat. Um, they speak with author and editor Stephanie Cook. So make sure to check out the per cast. And of course this week on I said, no gifts, you'll never believe it, but Bridger has on the great Georgia hard start disobeys him and brings him a gift. Yay.

I think I did good with the gift. I think I did really good. Do you want to give us a hint? Can I tell you? Do you know, um, I got him my, okay. My thing when I buy people gifts is I put in the word and Etsy, I put in the word vintage and whatever state they're from and find a souvenir, like a vintage souvenir from their state.

That's a great idea. Isn't it? It's a great gift giving tip. It's my favorite. And then the other thing I got was, um, wait, sorry, so what was, what did you find? He's from Utah. I had to ask Jay. So I found like a shot glass, but then I, when I was on it, I also found, so there's

this artist named Amber Cher who draws these beautiful state park drawings. And then she goes on to Yelp and finds the state parks review. And she finds one star reviews of state parks and puts a quote from that review beautifully across her drawing of state parks. So I got him one from a Utah state park and it said, it disappointed us in beautiful script or something like that. That is genius. Oh, it was a disappointment to us, which I just, I love it.

So that's her name's Amber Cher and the Instagram is called sub par parks. Wow. And I think this is just, there's, there's like beaches that say not worth the hype. And there's a mountain that says went on for too long and then a rocky outpost that says nothing just rocks, total, total rubbish, not very interesting, quite boring of like these beautiful drawings that she does. Wow. Oh, that's great.

Isn't that cool? Amazing. Nobody needs to have seen this lake that she took from a Yelp review of a fucking park. So just genius. Yeah. Just genius. But actually I think Bridger and I, I had a really good time talking to him. Isn't he the best interviewer of all time?

He's so good. Like I felt like we were best friends, even though we've only talked at parties awkwardly like twice. He doesn't drink, right? Right. So I was, oh. I don't think so. Okay.

Well then I was, I, we spoke with drinks at parties a couple times, but I felt like we were best friends. So he's, he's so good at it. You know why he's a great listener. That's, I think that's what it is at the end of the day. That's kind of the key to all hosting, but he's a great listener and he's, it's like, he's meant to be a podcastist. Yeah.

He's just kind of built for it. Yeah. And especially around that idea cause it's just, it suits him perfectly. It's such a great idea. And I, yeah, I felt like I was in the room with him, even though we were on zoom. It was cool. So check out, I said no gifts with more. Looking for a better cooking routine with meal planning, shopping and prepping handled.

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rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths and cold-blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent and criminal profiler. On Killer Psyche Daily, I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly arrested Stockton Serial Killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia and even host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning questions.

Hey, Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast, Killer Psyche Daily, in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. All right, well, should we move into this special, this special, this very special episode? Yeah, you want to tell them about it, what we're doing? So we're going to do another Q&A, which we've done a bunch, but you know, how many times can we talk about picking one big horse or 20 little horses or whatever? So we decided to guide the Q&A this time and give and offer our unqualified advice on low

stakes problems. That's right. That's how we phrase it because we know, especially a year like this, there's people who would probably want to bring up really big, very philosophical problems, difficult problems, which we empathize with you, we are there with you, we don't have the answers to those problems. Pretend we're your sister's best friends who've had a couple wine coolers, like that's the advice we're giving you is like, like your, your adamant, strong, you better take our

advice, but you don't have to, we probably shouldn't. And also we're in the Taco Bell drive-through, so either way, we're all going to be happy at the end of this. Either way, it'll work out fine. Right. Right. It's that vibe is what we're giving. I'm excited.

I feel like we're, I feel like we're going to be good at this. This might be an offshoot podcast that we should have done this whole time. Yeah, that's true. So we should definitely start more podcasts. That's what, that's what I'd like to be doing. So we had Jay and our new awesome social media manager, Erin, collect your questions. There were so many good ones that I kept seeing, so they better be in here or Jay and Erin are fired.

Easy. Easy. Jesus Christ. Come on. Fire them with me. It's fun. No, no. Can I also say that I've known Erin, our new social media person since live journal days

and we've been friends since then in real life, not just on live journal, so that's really exciting. Nice. I'm old. It's fun. It's very exciting to get to pull our friends into, and it's what we get to do with the podcast and now we get to do it with people that we work with, just like, oh yeah, we're building this company and we definitely know lots of talented people.

Yeah. I feel like I've always supposed to be closer friends with her at some point in our lives and now this gets to happen. So once we get to see each other in person again and not on a Zoom meeting, we'll be the best for you. So just to, you know, I would say just to help that friendship, let's cut out the part where you threatened her job. I would say, you know, but that's me being judgmental.

Yeah, but also like, if I'm going to be friends with someone, I need to have an upper hand somehow or they're not going to be friends with me because I'm terrible, I hope my therapist is listening to this because I'm terrible and don't want to be friends with me, really. So I have to threaten them. I see. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Always have the upper hand.

And then they can never break up with me. And then they can never break up with me. I'm threatening. Threatening. Keep it. Get that upper hand. Live journal. Whatever it is.

That's right. Hopefully we can address a problem like that in these questions. All right. Let's do it. Go. You go first. All right. I'm going to close my eyes and point.

Okay. Okay. This is from Chantal Breon. Breon. My living boyfriend wants to split the fridge in half like we're roommates. I just need to know I'm validated in thinking this is weird. A thousand percent. But Karen, can I, what if he has like a food allergies and food issues?

She would have said it. You're right. She would have said it. You're right. That is, but I feel like I went on a date with a couple, with a guy a couple of times where for me, when I order food, it's like, you get that and I'll get that and we'll have these everything. Like I love that.

I'll never order my own entree. He was weirded out by it and, but eventually he understood it because he was raised in a house that was like, don't touch my fucking food. So maybe it just takes time, but, but there, it's her living boyfriend, which to me, unless she, I think she would have specified if they'd just moved into the other. Exactly. Exactly. So to me, it feels like, because we've gotten a couple roommate questions.

And so I will put this out there. I think sometimes you choose people to live with for fun times because you have a great time at a bar or a great time somewhere else. Living together is a totally different story and that's when the mass comes down. That's when the truth comes out. So I, I would say yes to split. What's the threat that he is interpreting from combining food? Like is, does that mean that he's also only buying his own food and you're buying your

own food? And don't, and if you eat my food, I'll be mad. Like don't touch my top and odd because I don't like when people touch it. It's mine. I think there's a discussion to be had around this area. And if you, Chantal, Brianne, Brianne, the question is, ask yourself how you feel about it. Right.

Because ultimately this is the kind of thing that you have to start, you know, in the beginning, in my early days of being in relationships, it would always just be like, what's he doing as opposed to what do I want to be happening? And there's a lot of that kind of like, oh, I hope he, this, that or whatever, as opposed to me going, yeah, I don't, this is not cool to me and I'm not going to do this with you. I think the thing, I think the thing to think of like is, yeah, is this a pattern that he's starting? Because I think doing something new after having lived together is a sign that something

isn't going right for that person. And if you really look at it, that there might be other signs that things aren't right. And that might be a problem with you of not a way you want to live in a relationship and not a way you want to connect with someone. Is he speaking to you through putting a piece of tape down the center of the refrigerator and basically saying, I need better boundaries or I need you to get out of my shit or whatever it is. Because also I, this might point to a discomfort about money and that money will kill a relationship

if you have different attitudes and approaches toward how money is spent and how people handle money. It's a make or break thing that you can handle for a while, but it will come down to it eventually. So if he's like, I bought this and I don't want you ruining it or whatever, you just have to figure out what, if that matters to you. But another way to think about that too is if he has an issue, if that is the case and he has an issue with money, which absolutely could be a thing and he's not talking to you about it and instead putting up these weird arbitrary rules, do you want to be with someone

who won't address a big issue? Right. Yes, for sure. Can't find the words or can't actually have an honest conversation. Also maybe he was just like, you know, like a superstar frat boy and he's like, I don't want to let go of these my old days at the blah, blah, blah, which is another kind of thing to figure out, you know what I mean? Or it's just like, if you're in a relationship and you live together, what are the levels

of what are the boundaries and those things need to be kind of declared and the reasons why should maybe be out there, you know, because then it might not be that big of a deal. Totally. Okay. It's weird. Did we, it's weird. I think we covered that. It is weird.

Don't need to stop. Maybe he's hiding shit in his top and odd that he doesn't want you to see. Money. Money. He's hiding a hundred dollar bills. Maybe he's hiding your engagement ring and his top and odd. Don't touch it because I'm not going to give it to you for eight months. What?

Don't put it in there. Okay. This one I picked because we got so many of them that this is just the easiest way to say it, but this question was asked a bunch of times in a bunch of different ways. And this is from LJ favorites. It says, is it better to have quote unquote closure or just let a relationship slash friendship fade away? Relationship.

So not to people trying to talk about that in different ways, friendship wise or relationship wise. Okay. So like dating wise or I don't think there's a such thing as either of those fading away or closure, but closure makes people go less crazy. And if you really do care about that person or did it one time, the best thing to do is to give them closure, right? Or to have an honest conversation.

Yeah. I think you're right in saying, I think closure is a bit of a fantasy. Yes. Because that's like saying, and now I say this perfect thing and then the problem is solved and we never have that problem again. Yeah. If I explain it well enough, they'll understand that'll never happen. But if you do it with integrity on, and you know you did your best, then whatever, however

they react is on them and it's their own reaction. It's not about you anymore. And I think going away from the relationship aspect more and going to friendship, which I think is the much stickier area, because I'm assuming this person is maybe a little bit on the younger side where it's like, if it's a friendship, it's so much harder when it's a friendship. Yeah. I'm almost not even talking about that because I'm bad at that too.

Well, everyone's uncomfortable about it because there's something, but that's like, say you're friends with someone in college, now you've moved out and you live in the city, but suddenly the things that used to make sense to you five years ago are no longer okay with you. And what it really comes down to is you asserting yourself to say, hey, I don't want to do this anymore or I don't like this anymore or this doesn't work for me anymore. And sometimes we get so cowed by other people's potential reactions that we just swallow our own needs because this person has set it up. If you say this to me, I'll freak out.

If you do this to me, I will go crazy and attack you, whatever it is. That's just that person basically saying, I always get my way. So you don't have to live by those rules and you don't have to live any way you don't want to live. That's so important because in my mind it's like, okay, the problem is you've seen the way they are and the thoughts they have and the beliefs they have on Facebook and you don't want to be friends with someone anymore who's a fucking anti-masker or whatever the fuck. And so you just want to, they keep trying to be friends with you.

I think in that case, you can fade them out and just not, or I don't know. Well, but it's almost like the conditions or the circumstances, there could be a million different ones, but at the end, it's the discomfort of a person who's continually trying to be friends with you and you don't want to do it anymore. And sometimes it's like, sometimes, yeah, just not answering a text four times in a row sends that message. And then that's that. And if that's the place that you're at or they're at, there's not a lot of point in

kind of trying to get blood from a stone, picking up on a message. It might be a good thing to go, how much do I do this where I'm not picking up on the message someone's sending me they don't want. This isn't working anymore, but I'm just trying to nice it out or I'm just trying to keep it going. If that's what maybe, if you're feeling like that's what's going on, that's not a really a very healthy friendship anyway. Yeah, that's true.

So you kind of have to do it where it's like, yeah, sometimes, sometimes it's a bummer, maybe that you're still going to see them or it's going to keep coming up. But there's kind of no point in, you know, going back over and over to something that's really not working for you. So I think what's an important thing to think about too is that you're going to outgrow friendships. That's just how life is. I've seen people who try to hold on so tight to their high school and even elementary school

friendships and their friendships in their 20s that were based on going out or, you know, between jobs between boyfriends jobs and it's okay. And you're not a bad person for outgrowing those things and, you know, life is long hopefully for you. So it might come back around, but you don't need to keep those friendships or relationships to be a good person. And also it doesn't have to be the last chapter, like it doesn't have to be like that. I think that's the closure problem is you're thinking, I have to go deliver a speech and

never speak to this person again. Sometimes people just fade away, they don't like it, you don't like it. But that's kind of, that's how life is. And also when you're younger, this was a big realization for me in therapy. When my therapist said, how many close friends do you have? And I said 30 and she went, absolutely not. And then we talked about it and I was like, oh, that's true. They're not actually my friends.

Do you call them to talk to them about things that bother you? Would they come and pick you up somewhere, blah, blah, blah. Then stop calling them your close friends because that's not accurate. That's socializing and trying to seem popular. Usually you have about four people in your inner circle and those people should understand you and love you no matter what the things are that are going on in your life. And if you have people that get really either judgy or very reactive to if you're having a hard time, that's not a good front.

You have to really start analyzing what you need in friendships and how people support you as a friend and how they allow you to support them. It's a bigger deal. It's just like who you meet to go to the party with, you know? Definitely. Okay. All right. Here's my next one.

Sarah.lovegood says, how do I stop looking at people from my past online? I know it's detrimental to my mental health, but I can't stop. Love you guys. X, X, X. That's what online was created for and that's why it's so hard not to do it. Well, and also maybe ask yourself, why is it detrimental? Huh. Right.

Because you don't want to see people happy, then maybe you don't have any, you didn't get the right closure, right? Right. Or like, are you living in a weird fantasy world where seeing them is hurting you because they seem like it's a thing of like you're buying into social media. So that maybe is the detrimental part where it's like they all seem to be at a party or they all seem to be beautiful and, you know, it's just fake. Or is it that seeing other people happy makes you feel like it's that you, that it takes

something away from your happiness, that other people can't be fine without you and other people can't move on with, you know, it impacts you and your happiness when that really doesn't match. I'm really good at not looking up Xs and X friends and that sort of thing because it's almost like I put them out of my head at that point. It's like they can go on and live their lives and be who they want to be, but it doesn't take away anything from me. It doesn't like, it's not going to add anything to my life if they're happier than I am or

if they're thriving and I'm not, you know. Right. Well, and part of that is because you have a happy relationship. So oftentimes I think when people are online trying to dredge up some stuff or whatever it is, it's because there's a lack in your own life. So knowing you're not going to, and the person, it sounds like they already know that that's not, that they're not going to get anything from doing it. They're just doing it.

First of all, guess what? You're in a quarantine. You can do whatever the fuck you want. And the struggle is real with scrolling, like you're just going to keep looking for stuff to scroll about. Right. So, you know, do a puzzle, start painting to get a different, get a hobby so that you can, you feel, get a hobby where you're starting to learn something, learn to play the guitar,

learn a thing where you're, you don't know how to do it now. And in six months, you might actually really know how to do it so that you are living a life where you are benefiting yourself, as opposed to feeling like this outsider that's looking into the bakery window at everybody else's life. You're building the life you want. It's almost like if you're continuing, if you're continuing to work on yourself, which is that's something I always feel like I'm doing, then it doesn't matter if someone's doing better than you or worse than you because you're always growing.

And so, someone beating you at fucking life or having babies or whatever, isn't a person who has gotten over you and is better than you. It's just someone who's working on themselves and you could have an opportunity to. It's not a contest. Right. And sadly, it would be easier if it were a contest because then you could pretend like you were ahead or behind and have emotions based on those fantasies. None of that's real.

Being online isn't real at all. So go on there, have the feeling festival that you want to have. Enjoy it. That's part of what it's all for. And then come back out of it and make sure when you come out of it, you're building a life around you that you actually like just as much. And also, you can just block them too. Or very true.

Give your best friend your Instagram password or whatever. And when you want to look at it, make, let, she should have a series of questions to ask you before she gives you the password back. Are you, have you been drinking? Yeah. It's that five times. How sad are you? Right.

Be honest about the drinking. Again, I'm going to ask you. I have a, do a breathalyzer test and some of the results. So here's, wait, here's an actual, this might help. If you're already in it, look, you've already, you're drunk and you're in it and you're looking at your ex-boyfriend and he's got three new girlfriends, all incrementally better than you in all these different ways. Check out of that current fake reality that you are actually making up in your head and

start, you can get a little pad of paper and write down all your worst memories from that person because romanticizing people is a, is a one way street that you are doing all by yourself. So you're basically telling yourself a sad story about how sad it is for you on purpose just to pass the time. Nobody, okay. Nobody changes significantly unless they have a ton of fucking serious help. So whenever a girlfriend would be like, now he's with so-and-so and everything's going

to be great. It's like, well, he's still going to fucking show up 45 minutes late to your date. Like he's her date. He's the same person with someone else. He has not changed because that person is so wonderful that they made him want to change or made her want to change. It's the same person you had in a different relationship that is part of the reason why you broke up or it's all apart.

And if it's a crush thing, just start, this has helped me a lot. Getting, like, self-generating a crush online because somebody looks a certain way and says a certain thing. Read the books that you fucking think are cool. That's all fake. So start going, he's rude to waiters. He doesn't like dogs. Like just start making a list of things you couldn't live with.

He actually has the kind of breath where it smells like he doesn't floss. There's like kind of deal breaker things and just go, if you're going to picture all the great things that you're totally making up anyway, make up equally bad things and counteract your own fantasy. I love it. Okay, listen to this one. This is from Spitty Vitty. Great.

And I don't know if this is true or not, but it really sounds true and I really love it. Hi, I found a bowl in my room in the shape of two hands cupped together, which I have never seen before. It's very detailed. You can see all the little hand crevices and make out fingerprints. None of my flatmates, a.k.a. roommates, thank you, British person, for your condescending translation. How do we know what a flatmate is?

We don't know where it came from either. How do I find out where the bowl came from? It's a fucking witch who has a crush on you. Does this mean that I have someone living in my attic trying to leave me some kind of message? My flatmates are convinced I purchased this weird bowl a while ago and just forgot about it. But that's just not true.

Please help. XOXO. Okay. I have so embarrassing story. When I was in like junior high and reading like witchy books that I'd steal from the fucking chain bookstores, who has the one like, you know, like the dream dictionary, like tarot-y witch books. And one was like, take a photo.

If you want someone to have a crush on you, take a photo of yourself and wrap and wrap it between two mirrors. So I snapped off the mirrors from a car. No. What is the what is the makeup that's from that they have the museum on in Hollywood? Max Factor. I snapped off to Max Factor mirrors that I had stolen from Target and I, and then you rubber band the whole thing together and I was like, how do I get to Brett's house to

hide and then you have to hide it in their house and they'll fall in love with you. I know, but I never went to their house, but I was like, ready to fucking witch this shit up. And that's what that sounds like to me. Yeah. Is there anything in that bowl? What are, how about getting those fingerprints processed somehow? That's a great idea.

That's a great idea. What if he, what if I had done it? And Brett had found it and was like, why is there a photo of Georgia and then he calls the police? Yeah. Well, here's a couple of possibilities that I'll throw out there. If you guys had a party recently in you and your flatmates had a party, just a quick one after the pub, maybe some drunk came in and they shoplifted it from somewhere and left

it in your house. Maybe your neighbor, maybe your, there's a, there's a couple of let's not meet stories about people finding stuff in their house and it was people breaking into their house. So the fear is real, but it's so specific and in a bowl, an arty bowl. I feel like it's like one of your flatmates, girlfriends, like got the wrong room. It was an ashtray. It sounds like an ashtray. It's kind of, she's in community college.

What do they call community college in fucking England? They call it at the head row, down the school in the head row secondary school, secondary head row. Here's the thing. Go get a fucking nanny camp, stick it in a teddy bear, your flatmates are fucking with you. Yeah. The end solved.

Okay. I was about to ask this question and then, and then I saw that it's from Stephen Ray Morris. Let's hear it. He's like, I snuck one in, I appreciate that. Who would be better at dodgeball? Can I tell you how I used to play like hipster dodgeball? You remember like in the late 2010s, it was like hipstery course you did. Man, I looked cute, but I was bad at it, but I'm really competitive and get like, I had

to take a Xanax before because I would just get so hyped up about it. I imagine that you would wear like 80s style, the shorts with the white band around the bottom and then like wristbands, sweatbands, sweatbands. Can we include the photo of me playing in my, in this dodgeball outfit, knee-high socks vintage fucking. Hold on. Did you ask him to put that question there so you could post that picture? Cause then we have to start talking about your problem with online reality.

Oh no. Online reality, Georgia of dodgeball era was very depressed and anorexic. So it's not a positive. Well, I will give you, if you're good at dodgeball, I'll just say no. I didn't say I didn't say I'm good. Oh, I just said I play. Okay. Sorry.

You just, I just thought I played and looked cute. I wasn't good. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cause that's the, is that the question? Who would be? Between you and I. Who'd be better?

Yeah. Who'd be better. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I'm just saying. If it was tetherball, I would know the answer. Tetherball. Tetherball was my passion. Oh my God.

Rades one through four. It was my passion. Girl. Yeah. You just like hit it. You catch it. There's all those weird rules. Yeah.

How you could touch it and not touch it. Yeah. Oh. So, and the, my grammar school, Wilson school, um, so competitive, everybody, everybody was like crazy about tetherball when I was growing up. Tetherball and handball, the, the, this kind of handball though, not like the middle age handball. Oh yeah.

Wall ball. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How about this from Elana banana? Okay. What's the best way to remind people your birthday's coming up without appearing self-absorbed? Oh my God.

Tell me please. I am so bad at birthdays. How do you do it? Oh, you're saying just be direct? No, I need to know. I don't know. I'm like, my friends have all have birthdays, it turns out, but I've never written one of them down and they'll be like, Hey, it's my birthday.

Like what, how do you, I think you have to say, okay, here's, this is, this is, I think this question is hilarious. I think it's definitely from someone who is 26. Okay. Oh, they care about their birthdays. You mean? Yeah. When you get older, you stop, you really stop caring and it's not so much like, Oh, I fear

being older, which I don't. I actually really adore being older. Great. So the idea that it's birthdays are just like New Year's, they're just like the prom, you're making up what it needs to be for you to be happy and it never, ever, it can't do it. I completely disagree. Your birthday is for everyone else to feel good about themselves.

So unfortunately right now in quarantine, it's very odd because people, because, you know, when we're not in quarantine, we can say, Hey, my birthday is this week, Friday night, go to the bruce and people want to go out and party. And so having your birthday as an excuse and then they also don't miss your birthday. Everyone's happy. It's not for you. It's for everyone else. But in quarantine, it's all about you.

And I just, I, when I find out that, you know, one of my 10 friends who I give a shit about like had a birthday and I fucking missed it, then I feel awful. Like I want, we want to give someone attention. Yes, and you should feel awful if it's one of your 10 good friends because you should have written it down by now, which you and I have done where literally every year I was like, is the 13th, right? The 11th, the ninth, I know you're 16th, right? I only, you're the only person whose birthday I know, like I think that's why I get wrong.

When we hire Jay, the first thing I did was say, go around and ask everyone what their birthday is and put it in our calendar. But we're not addressing the question and we're just now talking about ourselves. So I think the thing is to do is write, oh, you know what's great? Right now, today, text all your friends, hey, I've got a new calendar app. When's your birthday? I'm putting them all in my calendar app. Nice.

Right. And then they'll say, yeah, good ones, yours. Yes. Yep. And then actually do it. And actually, like recently I said to my dad, he's like, well, let me know if you need any help with the podcast or anything. And I was like, you know, you can do is tell me when it's my sibling's birthdays or anniversaries.

And so now that's his job. My brother, my God, every fucking year for the past 15 years, I've got, I two days later wished him a happy birthday because I just completely forget. So that's my dad's job now. So I think I just love that you're the thing you said in the beginning was like, it's about everybody else. And then you're just like, and I don't participate in it, look, your birthday is for everybody else.

Yeah, that's a, I think that's the perfect solution. Like don't do it around your birthday, then that does make you look like needy or whatever you're worried about. Yeah. Do it three, four, six months away. It's the only reason. And make it seem like you're being considerate to other people. And you got a new app for your, it's the only reason I miss Facebook is that I just keep

missing people's birthdays. That's right. If you're on social media in any way, birthdays are pretty shared, I think, yeah, but not everyone's on the same app and you don't check it every day. And I think, I think a text and then it also, yeah, it makes them be like, oh, I should know there's two. Yeah. I think that's, I think that is the perfect plan.

I'd also just begin to release the concept of birthdays being the way people show you they love you. Cause that's not, it's not that. I like that. It happens much more if you can just open up to other times of the year where people can love you. You see a mug in that store in Madison with all the church keys and you say, Karen would love this and you send it to her for that reason, not because no reason is their stupid

birthday and fucking time. Time doesn't even exist. There's no fucking calendar. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Great. This is from Jamie Lee, Inc. Hey there.

How did you guys separate your spiritual lives from your parents, i.e. not going to church, temple, expressing doubts, et cetera. That's a great question. When I can tell you very specific about this, when the, in the nineties, when the beginning of the spotlight Catholic priest molestation cases began, my mother was like, that's it. I've had it and was like, I'm not going to church anymore. So then my sister and I jumped bandwagoned on her and we're like, right, us either and my dad was live it, my father was live it.

My father still goes to church every Sunday. He was raised in an intensely Irish Catholic family. They used to say the rosary every Friday night on their knees in the fucking living room. It got set on TV. They did it too. You didn't go out for Friday night until you did that like intense, intense. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah.

So it's a big part of my family. But I think, well, first of all, we were just willing to fight with my dad, which was, was scary and very loud. And you had your mom on your side, which probably helped a lot. It helped immensely. But also it was the kind of thing of ultimately you can't, I mean, it doesn't, being forced to do something is going to automatically make you not want to do it anymore. So if my dad knew his stuff, he would have been like, great, never come to church again.

We would have been like, I miss it, the incense or whatever, which is what ended up, I ended up doing when I got into my thirties. And I was like, well, actually that made me, it did make me feel good to have the structure and to be thinking about something like once a week instead of just myself every goddamn day. I do. I think with Judaism, it's a little, because we were so lax, it's easier, but I did have a bat mitzvah and I did have a really unpleasant experience with Hebrew school.

And so then, and then, you know, with punk rock and sci-fi and shit, yeah, I just went really anti God and that, and that in this, the structure and, you know, organized religion rebelled against that. Also, it's spiritualities in you. So they can't really what you believe or don't believe, you know, if you're, if what you're saying is I don't go, I won't go to this place anymore. I won't do this thing with you. That's you living your life.

There's not a lot. There's not a lot. They can do. Well, this is a good one. Any job interview advice, I'm about to graduate nursing school and I'm a little anxious about some curveballs. They might throw my way if they, oh, sorry, that's Julian, sorry, that's Juliana Georges. And they say, what are some of your weaknesses, the correct answer is, I don't know.

I guess I sometimes I just try too hard to be perfect. That's always the answer. I don't know. Sometimes I get too invested in a project and just give it, you know, so much, like they just want you to be. They're all stupid, bold-faced lies. Here's my piece of advice for you is when you go to be interviewed, pretend you already got another job that's better because when you're in a job interview, what people are

looking for is confidence and experience. And so if you're there, like kind of in that, oh, I hope they pick me mode, which affects you mentally and physically and kind of Juarez style, then they'll see you as lesser. If you go in with kind of confidence and like a bit of a spring in your step, like you're, I'm the one you should pick and it's up to you whether or not you want this, but actually I already have another gig. You're lucky to be beating me kind of a thing. Yes.

It's all about confidence because, and we all know this, once you get the job, it's all about confidence. You're trying to tell that person, I'm smart, I'm competent, I have what it takes to have this job. So you have to believe it and you have to convey it. And so you don't have the choice of not being confident because you just won't get the job. If you go in there kind of like hoping with that kind of like, please pick me, that energy never gets picked because you have to think if they're interviewing 10 people, they're

going to be looking for the person that kind of comes in and shines. So think of yourself when you're really shiny, what the circumstances are when you feel that way about yourself and then fake it in that way. And also dress up no matter what job you're fucking interviewing for, wear your fucking nicest, don't wear a fucking ball gown, but like your Sunday best, like look like you give a shit what they think about you. And so you look like clean cut, you've got your shit together, you know, and you cared about this interview.

Look like you care about the interview if you really want the job. Yeah. You know? They're like, that nurse is really overdressed. Why is that nurse wearing a fucking ball gown and glove and like finger gloves or whatever? She can't wear that in the ER. Okay. This is from H. Heinz.

A random woman had been giving my cell phone number to companies that spam call me for years. Literally has been happening since I was in high school and I'm 28 now. The only thing I know is that her name is Lindsay. Any advice about how to get it to stop? Change your phone. Change that fucking number. It's time.

It's high time. I know you think everyone has ever known you was going to call you and be like, well, this is not her number anymore. I guess I'm never going to hear from her again click. It's just changed the fucking phone number. Changed the number. Also, that's easy. To random women out there, don't give out an actual phone number, just an actual wrong

number. That's an actual number. You're fucking someone over. Yeah. Whatever that person's doing and for whatever reason they're doing it, just remove yourself from the situation. It's not interesting. It's not.

There's no like you're not going to get revenge or something. It's just a weirdo being weird. I don't want to give you my number instead of and also say it with me now, eight, six, seven, five, three, oh, nine. That's the number you give out, right? All the youngsters who've never heard that song for just like, oh, wait, is that the it doesn't matter meeting company? Write it down eight, six, seven, five, three, oh, nine with whatever area code change that

number. It's it's time to update. It's going to be good to shed a bunch of other people that, you know, make them work for it. Yeah. Why not? Oh, here's the good one. This is from Hannah banana 93.

Yay. It's gotta be. Hannah banana 93 asks, how do you know what to talk about in therapy every time? Sometimes no pressing issues come up and others feel too big to start talking about. And then I'm just like cringe face emoji when she asks me what I want to talk about. Oh, God. That's the answer. Talk about this.

This is you talking to your therapist about how hard it is for you to crack open and you're worried about levels, sizes, blah, blah, blah. What I have to provide people yes, it's not a one way street. It's a two way street. That's such a, that is such a great point. I have a big hard time with this and my main therapist now is catching onto this that like, I need you to talk. I need you to talk.

And the reason is because I don't, I don't open up to people and I need you to pull it out of me and that might take six fucking months and that's okay as long as they know that. Also, you don't need to go to therapy with a monologue. No, any good therapist will know that, you know, this is awkward for you and weird. And like with my mom, my therapy with my mom, I was like talking to my therapist about it. Like, I guess I'll just let her lead and I'll say things when I need to say things. And she was like, that's not your job.

Like you don't have to give it over to the therapist. You just have to be there. It's not your job to know how the therapy session is going to go. And also this is actually, we can widen this out to life is you don't have to control interactions. You don't have to control anything. It's all an improvisation. So you can show up and not know and just be quiet. You can feel awkwardness and do nothing about it.

You can sit there and be it. People aren't going to be like, what's her fucking problem? Like that never happens. That's just anxiety in your mind going, it's supposed to be this, but I'm doing this. That's made up. It's you. So if you go to therapy and you have something that you think is wrong size that you want to talk about, you need to start talking about what you're that that's the first step

worry of I'm not sure how to do this. I need you to help me more. Well, the first, the two things I've learned is that the moment the times when I go into therapy being like, I have nothing to talk about are the best sessions. Yes. Always sessions because sometimes it's like, I need to talk about what Vince said to me this week. And it's like, well, then you're only talking about that.

But when I have nothing to talk about, then some weird shit that I didn't expect comes up and that's when you're the most honest and, you know, the most insightful. Yeah. And I'm going to let it surprise you because when you have a plan, oftentimes it's like, I'm here to lodge my complaint. And it's like, that's actually kind of not that interesting because you're not talking about yourself. Right.

You're trying to get someone on your side. Right. So to get to what you can do and like that's valid too. But if you actually want to make a little internal progress that you can feel, you're going to have to barf up some shit. And sometimes. Well, I was just going to say, and that's, that's a way harder thing to do. You can't just do it on your own.

Like it can't just be that if you have a therapist that sits there in silence, like an 80s movie of therapy, it's, I would never be able to have a therapist like that. Yeah. It wouldn't work. As a joke in my family, when we went to family therapy, is that when I was a kid was the therapist always says, and how does that make you feel? And it's just like, shitty, why are you asked that's like a terrible, fucking leading question. Of course, it makes me feel shitty when my brother fucking punches things like, what do

you expect? But the other thing too about that is like opening up like that, it might take a long time and you need to come every session with an issue that you want to discuss. And that's okay. They're finding out about you and your personality. And then suddenly in month five, they have, they have been there for all of those problems you've had. And so you finally trust them.

And they can ask some question. And also those awkward silences that I've always felt like I needed to fill and it was my responsibility and it's awkward, then it's my fault. And how am I going to fix that? Is that not everyone feels those and silences don't have to be awkward. They could be thoughtful and they could be, well, and there's more people than you in the midst. Right.

So whatever you're feeling doesn't dictate what's happening. It's like, that's just, that's something that you have to deal with. And like, but in a therapy session, if you're starting to feel like there's a way to do it or something or that there's some kind that you're being judged maybe, then you have to talk to your therapist about that and you have to put it on the table because then whatever information they give you will let you know, should I even be in this therapy relationship with you? Are you not the right therapist?

Yeah, they might not be. Yeah. I feel like more often than not, they're intuitive enough to know what you're doing and what angle you're trying to push and how you're trying to lead it and how, how deflective that is about, and I'm talking about you, person, but I'm talking about me, how deflective it is to always have an issue to bring and always have a thing you want to talk about and intellectualize your issues. They're fucking smarter than that.

And they know, and eventually they're going to figure out a way to break that down. And that's when you get into the real, the real shit. And look, it's scary to do that. It's very hard to do that and to start really getting into real shit is it doesn't happen the first, like George was saying, the first couple months, like you do have to kind of get warmed up and, and get to know each other and get into it a little bit so that they can start guiding you through to the places where you really need to go to be talking about yourself.

Because ultimately that's, we, you know, the first four years of therapy, I had so many complaint lists and things I needed to report on and, and I was right. You know what I mean? I was like, my mom was sick. My job sucked. My sister, this, my, there was lots of stuff. Eventually though, you, you start to, you start to realize that all of that is your way of deflecting and your way of basically pointing the finger at someone else because you feel

like if you point the finger at yourself, you're going to die and you're not. It's, it just takes a long time. It's patterns that they notice whenever my therapist is like, well, I remember one time you mentioned this and it's something I said three fucking months ago and it mirrors what I'm saying today. It's just, it blows my mind because you don't think they're paying that much attention, but really they're not. It's just who, they know who you are at that point, right?

Which is really comforting. Guys, that's it. That's what we're doing. That was our, that's the advice Q and A. Yeah. Did it help? We'll never know. All right.

Fucking arrays. My fucking array is after four years of trying and one traumatizing loss I spent today wrapping gifts for my seven month old daughter's first Christmas. Yay. Despite COVID, I am so excited about my first holiday season as a mom and then a little heart. Yay. Congratulations.

What an amazing moment. Such an amazing holiday because of that. I know. Oh, there's nothing better than kids in the holidays. It really makes it real. It's so sweet. That's the reason for the season. That's right.

And cats. And for cats too. Okay. This is from Piper Bryn. My fucking array is that today I'm celebrating seven years of recovery from my eating disorder. Oh, yes. Thank you ladies for your transparency about the topic and other mental health issues on the show.

You both serve as a constant inspiration and I am so thankful for the podcast. Congratulations, Piper. That's huge. Seven years. Seven years. That's huge. That's incredible. That's great.

Wow. Okay. This is from the fan cult. It's from Leonie and it says, my fucking array is I'm an indigenous bead artist and in mid September I put a call out on Instagram for people to send me their extra or unused beads so I could put beating kits together for incarcerated indigenous people in Canada. Wow. The response was enormous and we have received literally hundreds of pounds of beads and

beating supplies. We're going to be able to supply many correctional facilities with beating supplies and even have enough to offer kits to other organizations that work with indigenous families, people in recovery and at risk youth. To many indigenous people, including myself, beadwork is medicine. I'm so grateful to have such amazing Instagram followers who have come together to bring this medicine to indigenous people who need it. Fucking hooray.

And then on Instagram they're at only child handy crafts. So only child and then handy with an eye crafts. That is awesome. Amazing. Leonie. It's a beautiful work and I bet you there's a ton of Burnerino crafters, beaters who have leftover beads that would love to get in on that action. Absolutely.

That's so rad. That's great. Okay. Let's see. This one is from Bonsair Ryan and it says, this is also from I believe from the fan cult and it says, fun fact at the top, I apparently can't spell hooray without spell check. I can get it. Anyhow.

In nearly a year of random episodes of excruciating abdominal pain, I told my anxiety around hospitals to take a walk and went to the doctor. That's big. She sent me out for an ultrasound because she suspected it may be more serious than the ulcers I thought I was dealing with. 2020 has been a party. Lo and behold, she was right. I have been developing gallstones and it had been going on for so long that my gallbladder

is pretty much just a sack of rocks. I had my consult with my surgeon this week and I'll be getting my gallbladder out just before Christmas. What a kind gift body you really shouldn't have. Thankfully, it's a super minor surgery, so I'll be able to go home a few hours after. Oh, thank God. Yeah. And the recovery time is pretty fast.

Anyway, don't ignore your body's signs of distress and fucking a hooray for doctors, especially during a pandemic, wear your goddamn masks, and for the medical advances we've made throughout history, that taking out an organ can be considered a minor thing. Love, Ryan. PS, if you're concerned about having gallstones yourself, talk to a doctor. Google is not an adequate substitution for medical care. Don't make my mistake of trying to self-diagnose and treat. That's such an important message because especially right now, like I'm not going to the dentist,

which is really hard for me and troubling and like I could have some mouth cancer. It's so important just to go and get these little things that have been bugging you. You shouldn't be in discomfort and you shouldn't be in pain. It's a sign of things. Yeah. And like what you just said, when you let things go or you don't address things that you're worried about, your anxiety starts telling you terrible stories. And then you're in a whole other area that you do not need to be on.

Georgia, you don't have mouth cancer. You just don't. It's not true. It's a thing of like when you've been in pain for three and a half years or dizzy and you don't know what it is and you're just too scared to go to the doctor and then you go and it takes one fucking appointment with the right person to fix it completely. And then you can pay attention to other things. Or sometimes just like a good dentist that puts his hand on your arm and says, you don't

have gum cancer, which is what I thought when I finally went to the dentist after four years of not going. And I had split gums and all these things that I was so, I was just like, he's going to send me from here straight to Cedars because this is so bad. And I was telling myself all those kinds of stories and he was just like, no, none of that is true. You need to go to the hygienist and get your plaque removed. That's all.

You had the, what was inspiring to me as a mammogram and I'm 40 now and I haven't had one and I'm really scared of it. And you had one and it was scary, but it was now you don't have to worry for the next couple of years about this huge thing. Right. And just like so many things, it was only scary beforehand. When you go to, and I'm sure, you know, the place UCLA is the greatest and the people that work there are amazing and murdery nose work there.

There's all kinds of lovely people all over the place. It is not a scary experience. There are really qualified women's medical, women's nurses, medical techs and doctors who know exactly what they're doing. They guide you so nicely and they know everyone is scared because it's like this possibility is so worrisome and they're, they're so good at guiding you through it. It's the unknown, I think in every facet of life that's scary and you know, if you take care of yourself, there's always a way to figure shit out.

And just, yeah, and just the story you tell yourself is usually a hundred times worse than the reality with anything, everything we've answered, every question we've answered today is that the reality is that not knowing and not asking and not finding out is way scarier than knowing because then you have no action steps to take and you don't know how to move forward, which is the most important thing in life, I feel like. Yeah. And also sometimes people don't know it's your birthday and you're fine. And they don't care about the answer.

You're the only one that knows it's your birthday and it'll be fine. It's fine. You'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. You will be. All right. Well, we did it.

Look. Listen. It's over. And we did it. We'll do it again. It's back in December. It's the last couple of weeks of 2020. We're all getting through this together.

As silver lining is dawning, good things are happening all over the place. I saw on CNN, I saw a clip on Twitter of a thing on CNN, a 90 year old man in England got vaccinated for COVID this morning and they interviewed him. It was one. It's so funny and great. And he's so, he's just said, I haven't died so far. I might as well keep, keep living and it was the greatest quote. Yes.

Old people. Yeah. I love it. It's like, there's the, here comes the sun everybody. So now more than ever, stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Yeah.

Elvis, you want a cookie? Dude, I'm a couple- Yeah! What can you eat? Oh, my God. Let me. Oh, my God.