My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 273 - Live at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall in Portland (2018)

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

On this week’s former Fan Cult exclusive episode, Karen and Georgia cover murderer Christian Longo and the KOIN Tower hostage situation.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. What's up, Portland? Yes. Holy shit, the schnitz is rocking tonight. We were having so much fun just now with our pre-show prayer that we do, that I forgot we were about to walk on stage with a fucking shit on the people and I walked up and was like, oh yeah,

this is insane. Oh, we have such a good time guys. We really do backstage. True friends. So amazing. Our pre-show prayer this time, lately it's been the lotion that we share this time. That got weird. That got very couple massage where we were like, what are we doing before the show? Yeah, but our hands looked great. Yeah, very moist. This time I was like, let's do the hand slap game. But she said it and I immediately went like this, okay, and got her backwards. She's immediately cheated. A tricky asshole that I am. With the best fucking shoes on. Hey, what? Tell the story. Are you guys ready for this fucking like true Hollywood story? This is bananas next level. This is what happens. I was born on a farm

and I had this dream to show off professionally. So I was on a television show on true TV called a talk show, the game show hosted by America's favorite lawyer, Guy Brannum. Thank you. That's right. Favorite lawyer and America's sweetheart lawyer. And of course, as you all know, when you're on a television show, they buy you a bunch of wardrobe just for you and you alone. And so we did two seasons of it and then I just got an email the other day and they were like, hey, do you want all your wardrobe from that show? Now I was, I played a judge on that show or it's kind of like a fancy lady who was very mean and judgmental, very different from myself and it was a stretch. Was it a stretch? It was, you know, I did a lot of workshopping of that character. The funniest thing

to me is I was, they were buying me shoes like this and in the entire time you can only see like from here, I was dressed just truly head to toe for just feel it, you know, it's true. These are the judge's fucking boots. Yes. So anyway, they said, do you want your wardrobe? And I was like, okay, thinking they were going to send over like the three Vince shirts that I wore 15 times. And instead they sent me every single thing they'd ever bought me for two seasons of a TV show. So I now have literally 25 pairs of shoes like this that I will never wear. Never. Can you fucking believe that? I'm just like, I'm so happy for you. Just like, just like silky blouses that women, who are they? Heads of banks or telecom companies? I could, I mean, I could go, I could

wear a magenta silk blouse in the morning and switch over to a teal in the afternoon. It's crazy. So then I knew when I got my old, my good old sturdy landsend dress, I was like, why don't we, why don't we create a fascination piece down at your feet? Is that what it's called? No, I don't know. Oh, I love it. I don't know. A fashion ace. She's a fashion ace. And I was kind of stealing that from those, those royal cousins that wear those hats called fascinators. No, really? Yeah, you know, like royal weddings when they have a hat that looks like something straight fucking out of Dr. Seuss. You're like, why are you so rich that you lost all your taste? What's happening? Fascinators. Love it. Come on. But on top of

everything else, pockets, right? Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit about those? Well, you got a bunch of these up here. Yeah. Nice deep ones. Good ones. No cough drops this time around. No. Karen is on fire. I've healed. How about your dress, Georgia? It's a dress. It really is gorgeous. Thank you. And let me point out my bandage toe and my zit. There's no chin hair because I got one of those mirrors in the hotel room that it's just like, guess what you've been walking around with without anyone fucking telling you. A full beard. What? When? But I'm really excited because we decide, I think last night I was like, can I not wear black anymore to the live shows? Because I thought it was like a rule that we would wear black so we could always like match.

But I'm like the vintage, I like an ugly grandma couch that's been made into a dress. Yeah. That's my fucking thing. And I have a closet full of them. So when we started touring, I had to just go buy black dresses. And I have this like sad section in my closet that's just like, here's the color you don't wear because it's got new personality and you need to show everyone how fun you are based on your clothes. Because you only had hand-we-downs as a child because you were the youngest. You know. Issues, issues, issues, issues, issues, issues. I could pick them out and I could put them anywhere. So next tour, I'm going to start wearing fucking crazy shit. Now that you've asked me permission, this was the best part. She turned to me and we record the other night. She's like, if

it's okay with you, I'm going to start wearing printed dresses and patterned dresses. I think I'm going to. And I was like, in my mind, I'm like, say no. Create a humongous problem. Say no and start a fight that you don't care about just to pass the time. Well, the only reason I even asked you is because the last weekend we were in, where we were in New York and Brooklyn and Boston, awesome shows, you wore a patterned dress. I wore one, but the answer to her is no. It's just how it is with me. You can't really tell if you're coming or going. That's why I thought it was so funny that you asked permission. I'm just like, so I get to do it, but then you have to ask permission. Right. I don't know. Great. This is my ideal setup. We'll talk about it in

therapy. Control. Now you've got a lot. Anyhow, how are you? How does that elbow look? Elbow looks fine. Something's going on here. Yeah. Do you want us flipping my hair around a lot? I don't think you have dandruff. I look, let me be honest. I missed my flight this morning. I wasn't sure if you wanted to bring it up. Of course. I always want to bring it up. Oh my God. Vincent and I are sitting there near our thing and I'm like, maybe she's just texting her because Vince is like, we get to the airport the day before and he's stressed out about it. It's truly a do's and don'ts, goofs and gallant situation where it's like, Georgia and Vince are on their plane five minutes early saying thank you for the coffee they're being given. Karen is pulling up in an Uber

three minutes before the doors close. Let's see if she can get there. Also, it's everybody else's problem. I mean, it's happened to all of us and it wasn't and Vince blesses her purposely made the flight super fucking early in case the two of us, one of us, because listen, I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Missed the flight and it happened and it's fine. But it was hilarious. But I've been on that kind of like, you woke up thinking it was an hour before work and you're an hour late for work feeling. Only this is my job. So I've had this kind of weird like, what's going on? Like all day long when the lady told me she was like, oh, I tried to check in at the Alaska counter and the lady's like, the doors are closed. The flight is closed. She

was saying it like I'd ruined her birthday party. I was just like, this is impacting me and in no way you, right? Or am I super confused about what's happening? And then so Vince, because he is the best tour manager of all time, I text him and I'm like, yes, we should give it up. No joke. He fucking steamed this dress tonight. No fucking joke. He is the man. And he's all of our husbands. That's right. And I thank you for that. I text Vince. I'm like, they're going to put me on the two o'clock and he immediately texts back that no, that will be too late. I'm booking you on a Southwest flight. So now my yeah, that's exactly right. Someone in the hey balcony, someone in the front row just went, oh,

oh, I go from my friends, cushy seats on Alaska Christianity drinks to fucking Southwest where it's like fucking elbow your way to a middle seat and hold on. Yeah. Fuck. It's a bus. It is. I don't want to go back. No, I know. I don't want to go back. It was a lesson for you. Vince was like, I can put her in first class, but she needs to learn her lesson. No, he didn't. I don't think they have first that's the only way I can learn. It's the only way I can learn. It's true. It was something away that she loves. And it's the only way she knows. And as I'm sitting in my fucking Southwest seat going like, you just won't get up. It's only a two hour flight. Just dig in. You can do this. I looked down and there's just a series of moth holes in my cashmere sweater that

was going to be my key piece for the weekend. It was just going to be the thing I threw on at night during the day. Who knows what fucking temperature it is up here. Didn't bring a coat. And then I'm just like, I look like fucking all over twist on Southwest air. I'm still mad about it. So that you made it. You made it. Yeah, we made it. That's what matters most. Um, oh, this is my favorite murder, the podcast. This is Karen Kale-Garra and this is Georgia Hardstar. Thank you. Stephen is at my home right now. He's not here. Stephen, David, will you guys ever get used to the fact that we don't bring him on tour? We don't fucking bring that guy. He's not one day. Oh, he'll be under here. One day we'll do it. He's under there with his little

mustache. Elvis is holding Elvis. Vince let us know that he, you know, he just posts so many stories on Instagram of my cats, which is great. I love it. But apparently I, he found a Stephen doll that someone made a while back that I swear to God I put like, it was at the bottom of a bag somewhere in the pod loft. Like it was not out. And he is now, he found it. He must have like smelled the mustache on the doll. That's right. He's like a drug dog, but for his own mustache. He's shaking it at Elvis in videos now. I'm sure Elvis is like, fuck you. Fuck you, buddy. Yeah. And then Elvis is like, look at all those fucking paintings of me. You're a fucking doll. That's one pillow. Yeah. One. Yeah, that's it. Of course Stephen, angel baby. So thoroughly,

thoroughly abused and never taken on tour. Or paid. No, we pay him. That'd be amazing if Stephen was an intern this whole time. Oh my God. Poor guy. We are the man. Should we sit down? Yeah, you want to? Sure. But before we do big news about these seats, guys, seriously, look how nice and plush and little sometimes we'll go to a place and the seats are just like, they're begging for us to be uncomfortable all the way around. I mean, look at the first of all, look at the action on these, but then secondly, look at the intensely precise placement that the stage crew so that it is close to the table does not touch the table. Mine is. It's called being a fucking professional. Oh, I'm out of here. Fuck this shit. Thanks, boys. Thanks, boys.

Okay, see how it's like. Stay dry clears. Stay dry clears it. These are, these are, we know the history of these chairs. They're high end chairs. I don't know if they're bespoke. They might be. They're handmade by an old man in Italy. That's right. Sunday, Karen and I are going to get to this level of what of having such specific chairs as Anderson Cooper and what's his name? Andy Cohen. Fuck it. They send these to every show that they do and then leave them behind and we get them. It's happened now at like four different live shows where they're like, Oh, we have the chairs you like. They're leftover. And we're like, from Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper. Yeah. How insane is that fucking high class bitches? Yeah. I guess

if you're going to talk shit, you got to have a, you got to have a nice comfy chair. You have to have a solid base. You have to have movement. Yeah. We're not going anywhere. No, not in these chairs except around almost there. So close. You did it. You did it. Oh guys, this is a true crime comedy podcast. That's so it's an important clarification. I feel like most of you know exactly what's going to happen right now, but there are also often people we like to call them drag alongs and they're people who are maybe dates or spouses or people who don't understand you. Yeah. And yet you brought them anyway. You, they were promised dinner. They had a nice dinner. And they were like, then they'll be like two solid hours of talking. Don't worry about that part.

And then, and then right back home. Yeah. So for those people who might not know, we talk about terrible, terrible true crime cases, but we also simultaneously and parallel to that we make jokes to each other. It's parallel though. It's not a, you know, there's no intersection. We get a little carried away sometimes, but we would want you to trust us that we're good people and that we understand murder is bad. Yeah. For sure. I mean, you don't know. You don't know us from Bob. People say that. I don't think so. But anyway, if you find that you don't like it, just get the fuck out. That's the point of what we're, that's the build up. That's what we're saying. Unless you have boots like mine, then stay looking for a better cooking routine with meal

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success hit a deeply private pain. In our series, Whitney Houston, Destiny of a Diva will tell you how she hid her true self to make everyone around her happy and how the pressure to be all things to all people led her down a dark path. Follow even the rich wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Okay, I'm first right. Okay. All right. All right, here we go. Portland. Yes. Portland's hard, right? Say it again. I just want to say that Portland is a hard place to come up with stories because you guys have the best ones ever, which means we've already done them on the podcast for the most part. Yes. For sure. There's so many. Also, I feel like

Portland, we've played Portland the most of any life. And that's for a reason. And that's for the reason that the first show that we ever did in Portland, they had a drink special. It was a tall boy beer. I've over at the McMinnoments High School. Remember? And everybody got so drunk that literally a girl threw up into the, into the walkway and then crawled to the bathroom at our first show in Portland. Yeah. That's you, Portland. That's why we keep coming back for more. Yeah. You're fucking our kind of people 100%. Okay. I'm about to tell you the terrible fucking story of family murderer, Christian Longo. Oh, shoot. See, they're applauding drag along not for the murderer, but because they want to hear Karen rip this fucking asshole apart.

Right. It's not really a, it's not really a choice. It's not like, you know, asshole makes you think of like the guy that cuts in front of you on the freeway. Sure. This man is from the devil's loins. It's awful and crazy. Ready? Begin. Christian Longo was born in Michigan on January 23rd, 1974. He claims he was abused as a small child. Three years later in 1977, his mother divorces his father and she gets remarried to a man named Joseph Longo who is very active in the Jehovah's Witness faith. Right. Are you allowed to be here? I don't think you're allowed to be here. On a Thursday? You're literally the only one here. Someone's going to come drag you out. Someone's going to pull you into our cult. I actually, this whole story made me remember

when I worked at the gap in San Francisco with my friend, Jason Lopez. Jason Lopez. Jason Lopez and I worked at the every story. He's been cheering so like sweetly this I've been noticing him because he's been like, yeah. You know why? Because he's literally seen me passed out in a gutter. So if anybody is excited about tonight, it's going to be Jason Lopez. She made it out of the gutter. I made it. Jason, I made it off of the fucking gap floor when I did the sweater fold down and passed out the day after Halloween because I was still drunk. Jason, remember? Look how fine she's come, Jason. It's all because of you. Jason, remember? It's all because of you. Jason was the one and I told this story on the podcast because I have 1,000 gap stories, but

one day at the gap and we worked at the gap on upper market before the Castro, after that weird area in between, I don't even, by the mint, where nothing happened and no one was around. So we would just stand around in this huge empty gap most of the day and sometimes people would come in and very rudely make us get them pants or at least that's how it felt to me. I think you liked it. I didn't like it. But one day we're sitting there and it's like probably hour seven and an eight hour shift. So I've got a nice glass of sweat going and I'm just like, what am I doing with my life? This is the fucking worst. And I look over, Jason's at the cash wrap. I'm at the dressing rooms and we look over and fucking Matt Dillon walks into the gap for real, for fucking

real. And I was like, I was like, this is my every the outsider's dream come true. How is this happening right now? And then why is it happening right now? What the fuck is he doing here? I don't have a lick of eyeliner on like this is worst case scenario. He stumbles up to the cash wrap, which is where the cash register is kind of in the middle of the store. You still call it that, right? That's what it's called. Wait, you weren't at the cash wrap, Jason, because you were in the back of the room of the store folding shit down because I remember watching you dash to the cash wrap as fast as your little feet could carry you because of course he spotted Matt Dillon, the second I spotted Matt Dillon and we were both just like, and then he just went and stood like

on the cash wrap like this, just like, nothing, this is where I work here. This is I can show you socks. Matt Dillon says to our manager Corby, a wonderful man who was totally like a little bit light and airy is how I would describe him. Matt Dillon says, dude, can you call me a cab? This guy's been following me for like five blocks. He trusted the gap. He had no choice. There was nothing else around. And no cell phones. No, yes, and fucking before cell phones, before internet. Before life. It was 1956. Corby. There's been a gap around here, 25 years. There hasn't been a sweat of fold down around here. Our manager Corby does not recognize Matt Dillon and says to him, oh, totally. That happens to me all the time. Yes. Oh, and we're just like, but no, our chance to

party with Matt Dillon. That's kind of like most baller thing that he could say without even fucking knowing it. Yeah, me too. Me too. Me all the time. You're super hot. So am I. Let's get you a cab. Oh, but back to the story, but the reason I brought up the gap and Jason Lopez is because remember that guy that used to work there? He was kind of like on the newer side before I quit was fired. It's a mutual agreement. They hired this guy and he was super nice and whatever. But he, I remember him saying one day he doesn't work weekends. I was like, I don't want to work weekends either. And he's like, well, I'm a Jehovah's Witness. And then in my mind, I was like, use this for future jobs. Absolutely. File as a Jehovah's Witness early. Yeah. Yeah. Establish that timeline

and storyline. Absolutely. Oh, so I would love to come in on Saturday, but we can't do it. See you. See you soon. Okay. Where were we? I don't know. In 1989, Christian is 17 years old. He meets 24 year old Mary Jane Baker. She's I'll do the math for you seven years as senior. I had to do it. No, I'm going to pretend you needed me to do it. Yeah, I didn't need it. I didn't need you to do it in my head. You had it. You had that 17 minus 24 on lock. Wait, he was 24. No, he was 17. Great. Here I am. Now just really quick. I don't really know anything about this marriage at all the details of it. But think about the chasm of difference between being a 17 year old boy, no, and a 24 year old woman, no, a high school

senior and someone two fucking years out of college. No, no, that's something else. That's problematic. Also like, I think I'm being a 17 year old and wanting to get married. I think I'm being a 24 year old and wanting to get married. That's a whole nother. I can't even start to comprehend that part. Aren't you married? I'm fucking 38. Yeah. You know what I mean? It wasn't all like a hard 35. But I was like, all right, this does look okay. I'm I've been ground down. Yeah. I met that one. I was like, maybe I okay. Yeah. Was it one day he was steaming your dress and you're like, I got to lock this up. Fucking basically. Yeah. Do not blame me. Yeah. Fuck you. I'm married. The sweatpants are out. Have you seen them? They made sweatpants. If you're new to

this, they made sweatpants for us that say, fuck you, I'm married on them. We're living the dream. That's all. Yeah, we don't need fucking fancy chairs blown in everywhere. We have fucking sweatpants that say, fuck you, I'm married. And people want them. What's happening? I don't even start what in January 2016. Okay, don't know. Not sure. But somewhere in my youth, we must have done something good. Thank you. Thank you. That was amazing. No, it was not. Okay. I can prove it by trying it too. Do it. And then I'll, no, I don't know. And then I'll let you know how amazing it was based on my pure comparison. Yes. Okay. So, oh, I wrote, what did they talk about? Jehovah. So he gets a job at a camera store and does what any teen does at their first job begins

stealing money. And he manages to keep it a secret, but he is buying himself very nice items. And so eventually someone in the church finds out and he gets in trouble at the church. His punishment is they take his duties away. That's the sentence I found. Great. I'm like, that is simply not a punishment whatsoever. Oh, you're stealing. You can no longer sweep the front walk. How's that? I hope you learn your lesson. Okay. So, but the thing is that Mary Jane finds out and she's worried because she's kind of seeing this behavior. He's very materialistic. He's very into getting things and buying, buying, buying. But she stays with them. And two years later, they get married in 1991. Then Christian seems to turn it around. He starts construction business

which becomes successful. And he proves to the world that he's made a change for the better. But of course he did not because we wouldn't be talking about him if he did. That's a fucking boring story who gives a shit about people that turn it around. When don't we hear about those fucking people? You're supposed to turn it around. It's like, you want a cookie for? Yeah, exactly. You're kind of obligated to, you know, get your shit together. Turn your shit around. Matt Dillon. So, as a successful contractor, he starts just spending the fuck out of every dime that he makes. Sounds great. So, yeah, exactly. Which is great for the family that they're starting up. Okay. So,

Mary Jane has their first son, Zachary, in 1997. And then she stops working. So then they have one less income in the house. A year later, she gives birth to their daughter, Sadie, and a year after that. Jesus. They have, yes. So it's three babies right in a row. Oh, fuck. Yes. You're apart. No. So expensive. So fucking loud. Oh, so loud. Just the house is filled with joy. Fluids. So many fluids. You have to deal with. Spit up every, oh, the smell. Yeah. Babies. They're precious. I love them. Babies. Not three at once. That's all I'm saying. You do it. That's all I'm saying. Do it. Let me know how it goes. Do it. Report back on Instagram. I'll be the aunt. It'll be great. So, while, well, probably the most expensive thing that could exist is starting up in triple

kit. He is just flucking like throwing money away as quickly as he can. He's buying cars. He takes his family on expensive holiday trips. He's buying everybody really nice clothes. And then, but of course, again, the secret becomes he is spending money he doesn't have. He's not paying any of these credit card bills. He's charging. He's amassing massive credit card debt. Can't make the car payments. He actually ends up getting these cars repossessed. But he's still able to hide it from his wife. And he actually at one point, the cars got repossessed. So then he said he was going car shopping and he went to a car dealership. And he told Mary Jane that he was taking the car out like for a test drive and he just kept it. I don't think he could do that. That's how he got his

next car. That's how you avoid repossession is you never truly possess it in the first place. So she gets suspicious. Of course, all this crazy shit's happening. They have a ton of stuff. But so she starts reading his emails. And that's emails. What year is this? 97 98. Yeah. Well, I think you needed a password then even. And that's when it was just everyone had hotmail. You've got hotmail. Hotmail. Enjoy it. Do you know that my they recently, I had to change a password and I found out that it was linked to an AOL account. So I tried to log on to my AOL account and it had been canceled due to inactivity. Oh, they do that. They fucking canceled my shit on AOL. Yeah, I have a couple

accounts of like old like photo bucket and like my life journal is still attached. Is it still up? And my MySpace is still attached to like my hotmail account. So I'm just never going to see it again. Guys, please take a look at Georgia's live journal from the 90s. She writes about great stuff, foods, feelings. I took that shit down a long time ago. All right. Oh, I have a Tumblr. I just put posters from movies on there. Go ahead and check it out. It's fucking fascinating. All of Tumblr is insane porn that I didn't sign up for. And then like some 20 year old taking a picture of a pizza with buds of pot on the top of it. And I still visit it every day. I just love young people. I love the young. Okay.

Okay. Don't tell Karen she's not with it. The young people, the young crowd. Look at my boots. I'm 85. Okay. I just realized that I'm kind of dressed like, remember those old triplets? What? With the cowboy hat? No. This is only for the 50s and ups. I'm dressed like one of the old triplets. God damn it. I think you look like Pat Bennett's art. You do. I do. No! We saw her on a plane once, didn't we? What's that? Go on. I didn't. I honestly didn't hear you. We saw her on a plane once, didn't we? Did we? Didn't we? I didn't. Then I did. Without you. Well, how could you see her without me? I'm sorry. Okay. So this is,

we're into the wife reading the emails. Okay. Great. Here we are. And in those emails, she finds out not only that her husband is up to his fucking eyeballs in horrendous debt, but that he's also been emailing other women. So romantic. How does he sign off on those emails? Best. So she confronts him. And when she does, here's what he says to her. He says, you're not fun anymore since you had the kids. I no longer love you. Yeah. That's not, it's kind of, it is a good kind of like a shock and awe response when someone's like, you're, are you cheating on me? You're not fun. I don't love you. It's a great way to respond. Oh, Jesus. Jesus? Jehovah. Jesus? Jehovah. They had, they also had Jesus. Do they,

do they dig Jesus? I think, are they the ones that did Jesus in the, in Arizona? Or is that a different religion? It's Mormon. Shoot. Totally different. I opened my eyes. I'm still on that Southwest flight. What? Oh, it was such a fun show too. Okay. Let's move this fucking poor show along. Please. I just remembered from our flight, the flight that we made. The good flight that we were on. I was sleeping and I sleep real ugly. I full head tilt back. Now the game. I also had my sunglasses on because the fucking, listen, look around you on a flight. If you're the only person with your fucking window open, you're an asshole. Shut it. Shut it. Like everyone hates you. Guess what's out there? Something green and something blue. Yeah. You've seen it already.

Truly, truly, I hate it. So I'm sleeping with my sunglasses on and I have my hood on because I'm freezing. I'm just like out cold and I wake up and Vincent taken a photo of me, which is cute. And then he, but he had his earbuds in when he showed it to me and he was listening to something. So he just yells, you look like the unibomber. He might have just yelled unibomber. He yelled it. He yelled unibomber on a plane. Were you immediately escorted off that plane? No, we weren't first. So they're like, they can do whatever they want. Yeah. They let you do whatever you want. You can shoot guns in the air. She's a unibomber heroin. Also, I just love that because Vince is so rules, rules, rules. He is like by the book. Yeah. And then he goes and

breaks the number one. You could have actually met the hidden, what do they call that? The air traffic. Sheriff. Sheriff. The air sheriff. The air show. Marshall, Marshall. Travel, Marshall. Marshall. The air trap. The Alaskan Marshall. The air Mormon. The air. We flew him in from Arizona to keep you all safe tonight. It's the air Mormon, everybody. Salamanders for everyone. Okay. Are you guys ready to get back into the worst fucking story of all time? I feel like we're all just stalling. I know. Everyone knows what's about to happen. It's not good. I'll stop interrupting. Me too, me too. Okay. No, you don't have to shush anybody. It's okay. It's our fault entirely. Okay. Where did I go? He doesn't love her. She's not fun.

Who I would love to meet this psycho that has three toddlers under the age of three that is fun. How many motherfucking lines of meth do you have to do in the morning to be a fun mother of three? Oh, fuck off. Okay. Okay. So the problem is obviously, and we tell these stories oftentimes because we're looking for patterns of like, what does early psychopathy look like? What is that kind of like insane spending without any regard for a family? Insane having affairs without any regard for who you hurt. And so I think that's, we've said that a bunch of times as part of why we like to tell these stories, because then you're like, I can spot it. And then it'll never happen to me. Problem here is that Mary Jane was raised as a Jehovah's Witness herself. And so in her belief

system, the wife is completely in the power of the husband until death do they part as Jehovah commands. So even though he's cheating on her and is a dick, she stays. She also has, well, but, but she has three kids. She doesn't have a job. She had to do what she had to do. I mean, that's, that was the situation she was in. And at this point, guys, become Jews. It's the best. I'm telling you, because you would ever the fuck you want. Yeah, seriously, do you guys have any fucking restrictions whatsoever, except for like no milk near the bacon? Other than that, it's just like summer camp and fucking below jobs. Am I right? Absolutely. You're right. Am I right? Like that's really all there is to it. To life.

It's pretty fucking sweet. Did we just change the podcast? No, the podcast changed us. So beautiful. Okay. So at this point, instead of being sad about any of his behavior, Christian is now on an all out crime bender. He is writing bad checks. He gets caught and put on probation for that. Then he takes a credit card out in his father's name and charges over $100,000 on it. Shit. Yeah. Daddy, that's too much money. Sorry, daddy. That's that harkens me back to the time also in San Francisco when I worked with Jason Lopez at the Gap. But I lived in the upper hate where you cannot find a parking spot ever. So I would just park my Volkswagen bug in the crosswalk. And then you were doing, I used to park like this too,

wouldn't I park like an asshole when I couldn't find parking? Well, fuck you. I get angry at everyone around me and be like, I'm doing this. Fuck you. It's your fault. It's your fault. Now I have to park in the crosswalk. Look what you've done to me. And then when you get a ticket, what I would do is just take it and throw it over my shoulder like, like I was a star of my own movie. And then that's littering. It's not a good idea though, because of course, then those tickets add up. And then my father six months later called me. It's the loudest phone call anyone has ever had in the history of phones, screaming that he just got a bill for $800 from the San Francisco like city parking fines. And then I was just like, yeah, I don't have it.

Of course you don't. You work at a gap. I worked at the fucking gap for 625 an hour. 625, Jason. How did we do? I think you made more than me because you were good at your job. He was a pace setter. Okay, you can't ask for a raise when you're sleeping on the floor and then all of your shit. Be like, I don't know if anybody noticed how I really I folded the top sweaters really good. And then as I started to fall asleep, pulled them down with me and used them as a blanket. There's a charm to early alcoholism, but later it's not cute. Later it's not cute. The stories get worse as the years go by. Why can't I read anymore? Okay, then he suddenly ups and moves the family to Ohio. Then he starts forging checks there. You can go into this

obviously and I highly recommend you do and read it for yourself. But the crime he was doing and the cops were just like, sorry, he comes here as a construction contractor and then he starts stealing construction equipment and selling it in the town he's in. Like he's like, you're the new guy. You're the one we don't know. The stuff goes missing. And now you're selling it somewhere and making money off of it. Like we're on to you. But what he was doing was collecting the money so he could save up and then buy a condo in the town of Newport, Oregon. Yes. So he had this plan, right? He has this plan. He's going to rip everybody off, make money, make money in the Midwest, and then take it to the Oregon coast. And I don't, I'm not sure. And then profit, profit. And just

profits. Okay, so in the summer of 2001, he then up and moves his family back to Oregon in a stolen minivan, a stolen minivan. And I think I'm not kidding. It had a personalized license plate. And I think it was Van mom. Wow. Look it up. Van mom or mini mom or some shit like that where it's like you could spot it immediately. Yeah, if you knew it was stolen. When and and they leave so quickly that Mary Jane's family who was also in the Midwest, they were in Michigan, they didn't even know that she had left Ohio until three weeks later. Wow. So they were kind of living, you know, um, like in hiding a little bit. So then sometime that October, um, Christian Longo uses the last of his frequent flyer miles to fly from Portland to South Dakota. And then he sends postcard that

are supposedly written by his wife to her family. And making sure they have the Sioux fall postmark and making it look like she's on a fun vacation. Yeah, not a good sign. By mid December, Longo began to confide in people back in Newport that he and Mary Jane were getting a divorce and that she and the kids had gone back to Michigan. And then one week later after that started on December 19th, 2001, a man who was walking in Newport calls the police to report a disturbing site. He sees the body of a small boy floating in Lent's law. The police arrive on the scene and they retrieve the body of four year old Zachary Longo out of the water. And then the police divers go under to search for more clues and that's where they find the remains of three year old Sadie Longo.

And this is the worst detail, uh, probably of any true crime story I've read. Um, she had a pillowcase tied to her leg with a big rock in it. And then when they were searching for more clues, they found a second one. So they assume that the pillowcase slipped off of Zachary's leg. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, when police divers, uh, I'm sorry, a week later on December 26th, divers spot a pair of suitcases, um, in one of the shallow inlets nearby and inside those two suitcases are the bodies of Mary Jane Longo and the, their youngest child, two year old Madison. And those suitcases were also weighted down so that they wouldn't be found. And the autopsy show that will show that they've both been strangled. Um, so the entire Longo family is found dead

and no one knows where Christian Longo is. Um, so what he had did was using, of course, a stolen credit card. He took a one-way flight to Cancun. Uh-huh. Why does that piss me off even more? It's the ultimate douchebag move. Yeah. And it really in any scenario. Sure. Um, we can take a moment to breathe and judge. It's okay. He books himself into a seaside resort and for the next two weeks, he hits the beach, he gets drunk, he goes to the nightclub and he has an affair with a German photo journalist. He also takes out loans, runs up debt, he writes back checks from bogus businesses and uses a fake ID to keep the creditors at bay. And all of this he was doing while claiming to

be a man named Michael Finkel, who was a writer for the New York Times. Oh, all right. Yes. Do you have photos? Oh, yeah. I forgot there were photos. Remember. Oh, look how close we are to this. I know. It's right in front of us. Oh, that's the happy, supposedly happy family. Okay. Let me see his stupid face. Oh, so awful. Fucking shit eating grin. Dush bag. Look at that stupid fucking face. Oh, I bet you these are the pictures that they I was like, why would Steven pick these three pictures? But now I'm realizing it's one side of his face, the other and then the front in the leg. We're looking for this guy. It's probably what the police put together. It's not Steven doing a fucking collage of photos. Look at how quickly I want to jump down Steven's

throat about like, what do you look? I don't need every picture of Christian Longo. Okay, let's not go any further. Okay. Before we go any further. This is the now this is where it's just bizarre. While Christian Longo is on the run and impersonating Michael Finkel of the New York Times, the New York Times finds out that Michael Finkel, the real Michael Finkel who works for them, who has just they've just published a major expose on modern slave trading that Michael Finkel wrote. And they find out that he has fabricated facts in that article. So guys, you can't do that when you're a journalist. Yeah, it turns out please and you're like so fucking what but you can't do that. No. And actually, when you I watched the movie true story, which is the

Jonah Hill James Franco movie about this insanely bizarre combination of people. And he basically didn't know the name of one guy and said that one guy was the name of the other guy. So it was just not it was it was he's not the worst person in the world. Let's just say that. Okay, but he gets fired from the New York Times because you're not allowed to do that. And he gets shamed out of journalism circles everywhere. And he basically has moves back home. So so then we'll go back to Cancun on December 27th, a female tourist from Montreal. That's Montreal. Thank you. She spots Christian Longo in a hotel, the hotel in Cancun where he's staying. And she'd seen his picture on TV. Those ones that even Steven's collage. She saw that on TV. She calls

the FBI. So the next day, a federal arrest warrant is issued for Christian Longo. And a week later, in January of 2002, the FBI places Christian Longo on its 10 most wanted list. And then on January 7th, he leaves that hotel in Cancun. He travels 80 miles south to the city of Tulum. And six days later, he's captured there and extradited back to Oregon and held at the Lincoln County Jail. Good job, you guys. Good job. Good job, Oregon FBI and all your suits. Once in Easton Custody, though, he tells authorities that in fact it was his wife, Mary Jane, who killed their two oldest children. I hate when they fucking do this. So much. It's like once you're caught, once you've got the cuffs on, just fucking man up. Like it's just such a

fucking insult to her family, you know, but who are already fucking going insane. But this is the kind of person that like is charging up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and being like, I don't care. I'm going to buy a sweater. It's just like the ultimate in psychotic denial. Okay. So he then says because she did that in his shock and grief, he strangled her. And then when the police are like, okay, but then what about your two-year-old child? He fucking tells them that he strangled her because he felt so hopeless for her, which I'm sure everyone had to leave the room and go punch a wall in the hallway. Yeah. So after a month long trial in 2003, the jury deliberates for five hours and then convicts Christian Longo

on every charge and they sentence him to death. Yeah. So because Christian Longo is convicted and the story comes out in the press, Mike Finkel starts to hear that he's associated with this family killer. His somebody calls him and goes, you need to look your name up right now on the internet. Google yourself on the fresh new internet. And of course, because he's an investigative reporter, he immediately delves into it, is obsessed, flies to Oregon and arranges to meet with Christian Longo face to face. What a coincidence that he uses his name. Something fucking happens. It's crazy. Well, and also, there's lots of... Over a series of jailhouse interviews and conversations, Christian Longo finally confesses to Michael Finkel that he killed

his entire family. Holy shit. So he doesn't tell the cops he's lying, he's denying, he's doing all the shit. And then with a series of conversations that they have. And that's what that movie, True Stories, is all about. I'm not sure if you're a fan of Jonah Hill. I'm really enjoying him lately. And he's very good in this movie. I could see him playing shitface over here. No, no, no. That shitface is James Franco, of course. Really? Yes. No. Honey. Jonah Hill's lost a lot of weight. No, this was from before. Okay. This was... Okay. This was more of a super bad Jonah that's getting serious about acting and wears glasses. Oh, the glasses times. But there's a... You guys may have seen it already or know about it or worked on it or written it, but there's a new guest man Zant

movie about the illustrator John Callahan. And I think they... I thought they filmed it here. It's so good. If you get a chance to watch it, it's called He Won't Get Far on Foot. And it's John Callahan is a New Yorker cartoonist who was a quadriplegic. And he basically becomes a quadriplegic and then is a terrible alcoholic, of course. And then he joins AA and Jonah Hill plays this unbelievable character as the AA leader who seems to be either gay or maybe the Archangel Michael. You can't figure out his stance is very ethereal. And I'm going to say the thing that makes you understand. She liked that I laughed and smiled as if I fucking know anything about an Archangel. I'm Jewish. You know that. I've got to tell you. That's an old estimate, baby.

Okay. That's the oldest of testaments. Yeah, but being Jewish means you don't actually have to study the Torah. You have to study the Torah. Remember yesterday when I was like, what it says, Angel, who gives the peace sign. George, yes. Oh, it's one of these saint guys that's given the peace sign. I go, is he going like this? That's just, that's just what they make Jesus's hand do automatically. It's not, he's not like piecing anybody out. I mean, I knew, but I was just like, it looks like he's, they're looking, they're going to crucify me, baby. Peace out. I'm out. I'm out. I'll be back for your benefit. Later days. You can thank me later when I come back. So it turns out in 2005, Michael Finkel publishes a book about those

conversations with Longo. It's called True Story, Murder, Memoir, Mea Culpa. So this is, that's him. That's Michael Finkel. That guy looks like fucking Franco. I'm telling you. This is miscast. I want, I demand a reshoot. A little iriglassy too. This is a really up close photo. All right, move on. I feel like this is more of a Fred Armisen character, really. Oh my God. Isn't it? Like, it's the guy that never blanks that Fred Armisen character. He doesn't totally open or close his mouth. Probably just kind of talks like this. The guy that has a false upper and lower jaw. Oh, man, I like to open my mouth. Sir, are you all right? I'm conserving energy. I don't know. This guy's telling me the worst things I've ever heard. I have to write

them down. This is awful. Why did I sign up for this? Being a journalist sucks. So here's his book. It looks like ours kind of. Isn't it like our book cover kind of? Guys, this looks like our book. Oh, shit. All right. Okay. Stop it. Oh, wait. Hold on. They're just, I made him pull that one too. Just in case. Switch them. That's the, you're trying to tell me. Switcheroo. No. Yes, switch. Promise. No. You can tell they're official because they have legal paperwork. That's right. Great. Okay. Switch them. And Joe Nales gesturing. Yes. Here's my thought about this. I'm asking you a question. This is how you know. What is this? I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. All right. It turns into a grocery list. Butter, eggs, milk. What? What did I do on here? This is

the longest one we've ever done. I'm done right now. No, I'm fine with it. It's been a blast. Look, it's been a blast. Fucking have a great summer. The worst story I've ever had. Send your buns. Do not change this summer. Okay. So when he's in prison, Christian Longo starts a campaign to allow death row prisoners to donate their organs after being executed. Sounds nice. A little late, bud. Mary Jane's family, of course, is disgusted by all of this attention that he's getting. Sure. This, which is, even though it's, this is kind of, you know, Michael Finkel's book really was this way to tell the story of like, because it just, this crime left everybody going, what the fuck happened? And how could this guy, who on the very, very outside,

they were a religious family, they were, you know, the all American nuclear family. And then how does it go from I owe money to I murder my whole family? It's insane. But at the same time, when you do that, then you also are bringing him into the, into the news feed, into the news cycle, giving him this attention that he craves and making him seem important and shit. Right. And he had, there was an Esquire, a whole thing done about him, like he was in the news constantly. And then when that kind of died off, then he started this program. So Mary Jane's family, they were disgusted by all of it. They kept saying, you're just feeding the monster. You're feeding this monster. And this is what you're giving him, what he wants, even though he's still in jail. And they also believe

that his involvement in this ordered organ donor cause is quote, one last attempt at a ruse from a homicidally nightmarish con man. In 2011, Oregon put a moratorium on executions. So Christian Longo remains in prison for life. And that is the story of family murderer Christian Longo. Holy shit. Yeah. Not nice. Well, this isn't as horrible. I mean, it sucks, but it's not as horrible. It's horrible. Great. Listen, they're all horrible. Listen, look, look and listen to horrible this. It's a horrible thing. Slogans. Fuck you. I'm married. Okay, I'm going to tell all y'all about the coin tower siege of 1996, the hostage situation. Whoa. Okay. So on the afternoon of January 4th of 1996, here you are.

Boom. You know. A man dressed in military camouflage and I guess it's... So not pink and gray and the military gray? Yeah. Yeah. Camouflage and a black beret walks into Portland's third tallest skyscraper, the 30 story coin. It's K-O-I-N tower in downtown Portland. Soon after, he walks in there, shots ring out and the man, 24 year old James Rinker, starts taking hostages, forcing employees and hundreds of people to evacuate Portland's, like I said, third tallest skyscraper. Third tallest. Number three, baby. Turns out I was like, this is important. I should put it in here twice. And let me tell you about this tower that you guys know so well that I've never heard of. I'd like to also hear about the two other taller towers if you have time.

We can do that. I mean, why not? Right? We have it for the night. We have the... Let's invite those towers on stage and they can describe themselves. Special guests, the coin tower is here, ladies and gentlemen. Get out here, you old son of a bitch. Okay. The building was originally named Fountain Plaza, but it quickly became known as the coin center or the coin towers because of the building's highest profile occupant, coin television. A CVS affiliate in Portland. K-O-I-N. I-N. K-O-I-N. That's what I said. Great. Good. It opened in 1984. It cost 48 million dollars to build. It was a controversial... Probably y'all still hate it, I'm guessing, because I don't think Portland likes fucking skyscrapers because it was built... It's location

blocked the view of Mount Hood that had been seen by drivers. They're like, um, I'm on Vistor Ridge Tunnel and I'm coming up Portland's West Hills and there's Mount Hood. And then it's like coin tower, fuck you. Yeah. That's not cool. Portland doesn't like that. Because I have friends that live up here and one of the things they say is whether... Based on the way the weather is, they'll talk about whether or not the mountain is out that day. Oh. Yeah. I'm almost a local. I swear to fucking God, I know all about you. Want to see the tower? I'd love to. Great. I had Stephen make up on top. Is it yellow? Is it corn yellow? No, I think it's just the sun is just like... It looks like a... What is that?

A khaki, a baby shit brown? What? Who... No wonder everyone's mad up here. It's 35 floors now. Used to be 30 back when this happened. So they added five fucking floors of bullshit to your tower. Sorry. Lame. We got it. Los Angeles. They were like, oh, some people over there can still see the mountain. Jack up those floors. That's right. All right. So here we are in 1996. And this dude, Rin Kerr James, he had been fired in the weeks before he stormed the building from a... He had been fired from a courier service that was operating in the building because of customer complaints about him. And of course, mainly from women, so I'm sure he was a fucking creep. Maybe it was just that beanie. Two of these complaints had been from women who

worked in the tower and accepted deliveries from him. Oh, I get it. So he was like the dude and they had signed packages. That makes sense. As a young dude, he was arrested for fighting with police officers, later committed to psychiatric care. He was diagnosed as having delusional homicidal and suicidal tendencies. He was described by friends and coworkers as short tempered and fond of guns. Not a good mix. That's quite a combination. Pick neither. I was gonna be like, pick one, but I don't like either of them. No, no. The option is neither. Neither. I don't say neither. Oh. But let's not call the whole thing off. His roommate said he dreamed of starting a cult. I mean, who amongst us? Right. That's the dream. Yeah. And love the idea of living in a

commune. Wait, what? I bet you anything living in a commune sucks more than you fucking think it does. The smell alone. Yeah. I feel like the very hippie based vibe of living in a commune, it goes against fighting cops and loving guns. Yeah. Well, I guess if you're doing like a military end of days kind of one, it works, right? Maybe listen, let's see, look, do your own thing. Okay. Except for this. But not this. His mother said that he had recently the night before the shootings had called his sister and said that he had been considering suicide. So he so Rinker enters the coin tower through the basement, loading dock for the coin center cinemas, and fucking fires off a dozen rounds immediately when he goes in, he's wearing fatigues, like I said,

but he had no prior military experience. It seemed like he just was like fucking cosplaying. Yeah. Thank you. He first shoots. That's what it is. It's sad. It sucks. He shoots theater employee of theater, an employee of the theater who's fucking already in the basement loading dock. So you know, he's like a low rung, probably taking the trash out. He has to work at a theater. I'm sure he makes 625. Like what a bummer. And then he gets fucking shot. He survives. It's fine. Okay. I mean, what a bummer for him. Did he get shot in a little red polyester vest? I bet he fucking did with his name tag. That's when I worked at the movie theater I worked at. I had to wear a vest and I went to the manager and said, please don't make me wear a fucking vest.

You should have said I'm a Jehovah's Witness. We don't wear vest. This is against everyone's religion. All around the world. We don't vest this up. We leave it alone. Do you want to sell the extra large popcorn? Let me live my life. Okay. So this guy, Alan, he's 24. From the song. I bet it's Kokemo. If he spells it like he says it, it's Kokemo. Okay. We'll just assume that's what he's doing. He's 24. He's of Beaverton. No one likes Beaverton. You couldn't even fake it. They couldn't even fake it. They tried to fake it. That was nice. But that was easier. We were going to go visit there tomorrow, but I guess we won't now. We're calling off the day trip to know it's too late. Now we're going. Okay. So he's fucking shot twice in the back.

This fucking poor dude in a vest. From the movie theater? Yeah. And then this other guy, Howard Barley, he's 45. He's from Milwaukee. He's a delivery man. Oh, but Milwaukee's okay? No. It's actually a lovely, lovely city. So much better than Beaverton. So much better. So this dude is this dude is a delivery man. He he's just dropping some shit off at the theater and he's like, fuck this shit gets shot too. He runs face to face with the rinker at the elevators down there. And he runs and then he says quote, all I heard was bam, bam, bam. And like I said, I don't know how many times I this is he's got to sound like this. I went to plant my leg down. And that's when I when I went straight to the ground. I don't know what a Milwaukee accent

sounds like. That was dead on. Thank you. So he had been shot in the leg twice. And then the fucking gun jammed. Otherwise, these mother, these guys, dead as fuck. That's Jehovah in action. I'm just saying, let me just take a moment to say thank you to the Mormon Jehovah. Okay. He, this guy, Barley drags himself to safety and rinker leaves the basement garage, makes his way to the fucking lobby and his goal destination, the main elevators. His plan was to get to the upper floors and to the two women at the law firm who he blamed for getting him fired as a courier. Yeah, it's it's absolutely not their fault that you're a fucking creep. Yeah. Maybe it's the guns. Maybe it's the beret. Maybe it's the camouflage.

Maybe it's just going on and on. So fortunately, here's what fucking happens. The gun shots in loading dock trigger trigger a safety feature that it was an AK 47 BT dubs forgot to mention that. The smoke and the gun, the gun shot. Listen, the smoke from the gun shots look activate the building safety feature, which locks down the elevators because it fucking triggered the smoke detectors that sounded the fire alarms. So everything shots fucking down. Okay. Otherwise, I mean, truly this could have been an, I mean, it sucks. It's a nightmare. I'm not saying it's not nobody dies. I'm just, I tell you, I shouldn't have told you that somebody maybe dies. I just ruined my own story. You just had like a mental gun jam of your own right there.

You really went through some shit. Keep shooting. I can't keep shooting. All right. In the lobby, witnesses say that Rinker begins firing at the officer as they were responding to the building's alarms because they were just like, Oh, great, another false alarm. And then they're fucking getting shot at. He so he seizes a hostage and goes into the Charles Schwab brokerage firm, which is next to the lobby, and he takes three more hostages. I don't know what photos next, but let's take this is him. Sorry, I should have. I wish I could have warned you guys. I need to stand back a little bit and put something in whatever order. Can you turn that off, please? It does that. Yeah. So you're in your office one day and it's

like knock knock. Here's a package. Yeah, he's blocking the only exit. Fuck. So here's this is bananas. The head of security at a San Francisco brokerage firm calls the company's Portland office. So this dude at the Charles Schwab brokerage firm in San Francisco, he's head of security. Here's like a rumor about, or he's on the phone with someone else and here's gunshots. So he calls like the front desk of the Portland one around 2pm. Guess who fucking answers this dude rinker? He answers the phone and the security guy's like, is someone shooting there? And he's like, yeah, it's me. That's probably what happened. It's not word for word, but it's the overall feel. Essentially, that's what happened. And this dude says he was very upset

and nervous, but he was really articulate. The guy's name is Mr. Headman. The head of security and down in San Francisco. His name head man. I can't be right. The head man of security is the head man is his name. Mr. Headman security. It's a very confusing name tag. It's really long. It's not a rectangle. It's just like a big long. How annoying was it before he was the head of security? He was just like the middleman headman. The worst that they had to promote him. Yeah. Because of all the confusion in the mail room. So rinker tells head man that he had shot several people already and he might shoot more. And so this dude has to become the fucking hostage negotiator. In San Francisco. In San Francisco on the phone being like, what's up? And he's like,

hey, what's up? And he's like, oh, shit. So trying to reach the other phone with the other hand. It's zero. The head man is a security expert, but he's not trained in hostage negotiation. But following a deadly rampage by a gunman at the 101 California street office tower in San Francisco, which I fucking think I worked there. Not at this time. It was 93. I was a child. 101 California street. Yeah. That is like near the embarked era. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that really famous street. They always take the picture of going down the bay bridges in the background. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a really great chili spot over there. Or there was. It's called chilies. You should go. It's so good. Like it's weird. They don't have chili. It's farmed

a table. But because of that incident, he and other Schwab security personnel had engaged in crisis management exercises with the police department. So he was like, kind of, okay, I guess this is all, this is it. This is me. It's my big chance at the 101 California street rampage. Eight people had been killed when a gunman named Geon Luigi, Ferry, Ferry or Ferry asked guy, I swear to God, it's the same name. Guy Fieri's uncle, Geon. Oh no. Like it kind of could be because he's from over there. You should call him. I should edit this out, Stephen. It's true. We need to lose the whole Guy Fieri area. You know, for some reason, he's part of this. We're going to take him down. He's very nice. I must say. Okay. Wait, will you please do the

pronunciation of the correct pronunciation of his name? The correct pronunciation is Ferry, but he says it's Ferry. Guy Fieri. That's it. Guy Fieri. Because it sounds like a chef's name. So when I first met Georgia and she somehow the name Guy Fieri came up, that's how she pronounced it. That's how I thought you pronounced it. It was like you just came back from a semester abroad in Italy. I was just like, bitch, you better not be pronouncing Guy Fieri like that. And then I kiss you on both cheeks. Kiss me on neither. What was I saying? Okay. So Headman says that Rinker was able to clearly state his demands, but mostly wanted to be allowed to surrender peacefully. I feel like at this point he's like, this is not going the way I planned. Let me just

surrender and end this fucking thing. He did not think the gun jam was going to happen. He didn't know there was a movie theater in the building. He didn't know the elevators were going to close down. He's like, so he was kind of trapped in the lobby because the elevators closed down. Yeah. And so he goes into the offices next door with four hostages. And this guy, Headman, is like, he said whatever came to mind while trying to calm down the hostage, the Rinker. At one point, Headman talked Rinker into letting the hostages call their families, which is like pretty amazing. This woman who's a hostage, Wendy Brown, she's 23. She calls her mother in Mopin, Oregon. Really? Thank you. It's a weird name. Pretty good. Wendy's mom says, quote, they allowed, they allowed her

to call me and tell me she loved me and goodbye. You could hear a man yelling behind her. I told her I loved her and I couldn't believe I was hearing this. That's all she could tell me. He said she had five minutes. I could hear him yelling to get off the phone. I know. Do I have five fucking minutes or not? That's what I would have said uncontrollably. I can't, in a situation like that, I would have bitched out the hardest I ever have in my life. I would, it would have clicked on to the thing where like fighting with my sister where I just can't control it. You said I have five minutes. It's only been three. Can't you tell time? Why not gonna meet? And your sister who I know the phone was like, just stop yelling at him. Oh my God, shut up. You're being so rude

to him. Anyway, I love you. It's been great. Yeah. One of the hostages is a stockbroker named Ken Aikin. Huh. Isn't that a famous person? He was a Christian. He said that the lot Aikin. I don't know. Another, in addition to Brown and Aikin, those held hostage were Muriel Tamura of Portland and Kathy said her home. She's a straw, a straw district manager who's just fucking visiting for the day from San Francisco down from Beaverton. She's from San Francisco. So she's like, didn't I just go through like, she was like, I don't know. We got to ask her. Kathy, at the height of the incident, Rinker starts fucking spraying gunshots at officers in the lobby and the SWAT team surrounds the building. Nearby streets are cordoned off. Hostage

negotiators are brought in. Real ones. Here's people running. Holy shit. I just love how vintage this is. This is so like, this is so 93. It was like it was 50 years ago. I know. Look at those billowy, blousey clothes. Hair is everywhere. You used to just be able to wear like a wide leg pant and no one cared. There were no other options. Nothing was fucking matchstick fucking skinny jeans, leggings. Oh my God. That's a lobby. I just think it's another cool vintage photo. Let's see here. So Rinker finally is persuaded by Headman to negotiate directly with the police. Police tried to keep him talking, asking about his motives. He had told Headman that his motives already wanted changes in the baking and insurance industries. We all do. We fucking bottle it up

like normal people. Bottle up and pay your fucking checking fees like everybody. Right. But then, but I guess he didn't realize, and this is mentioned all the time as like a fuck you to this guy, that Charles Schwab Brokerage was involved in neither the banking or insurance industry. Police like what do you do then Charles? What do you fucking do? Am I supposed to Schwab the floors or I don't know what does Schwab mean? What does Schwab even mean? Is Schwab like when you put the chicken on the rotisserie and there's like certain herbs? Or you Schwab out your ears after a shower. Go in for a light Schwab down at the coin building. What do you people do in here? My car needs a Schwab so bad.

You know that Charles Schwab office was just straight up pot dealing. But they were like wearing suits so nobody looked in there. It's like, oh, so boring. Don't look in there. All weed. They discovered that he has some anger issues. They call it with the government, the media, banks, large financial institutions and law enforcement. Again, who among us? I mean, just bury it, vote, and you know, that's it. That's all you can do. Yes. What did you think I said? It's very important. Georgia said vote, which is true. But I thought she said Vogue, which is also important. Come on. Come on. Anti establishment. That's also a list of people that that guy hates. Greta Garbo,

Amon Row, Dietrich and DiMaggio, the cops, the banks, the man, the devil. He hates the devil. Sure. I hate people who hate a bunch of people. Meanwhile, so there's three other workers fucking hiding in the office at the time that he doesn't even know about, which I'm like, they had to piss on the floor under their desk. That's the first thing I thought of, right? Always. He releases the first hostage can around four p.m. Negotiations continue and a female hostage is about five, 20. All I can think about is when I worked in the office is very much like this. And it was just like the worst job. It's just monotonous and your clothes are too tight. And that they require you to wear really tight clothes. Yeah.

The office was bad because I would just own. It was complicated. At like 458, I was like, I can finally go home and then five and then having to like stay after cause you're in hostage crisis. Like I don't even like it here. I am meeting people for drinks. James Rinker, I fucking hate the insurance industry too. I hate it more than you. I just don't have an AK47, you fuck. I'm dead. I make 30 grand a year, dude. I'm, I'm on, I hate you. Not on your side. Okay. Two other women were released at six, 15. So finally all the hostages are let go and Rinker surrenders about 15 minutes later. He's led from the building, shirtless and handcuffed the entire incident. Can I stop you? You can look at a photo too.

Can you see that? No. Steven, there he is. It's hard to see. Also the, yeah. You kind of see him. There's a skylight. I can't. The guy who looks like he's going. Oh, yes. I see. It's not one. That's right. That's actually him. He's not roller skating. No. He's actually, he's coming out with his hands up. Yeah. Okay. All right. The incident lasted four and a half hours. So those dudes under those fucking desks are just pissing in the corner. Yeah. Amazingly. And you're going to be really surprised by this. Everyone survived. Yay. It's a good feeling. That's good. Both men who had been shot in the basement loading dock, Alan and Howard, they survived and Rinker is charged with two counts of aggravated attempted

murder, two counts of attempted murder, two counts of first degree assault and four counts of first degree kidnapping. After this surrender, the police recover a nine millimeter semi-automatic pistol and an AK-47 rifle inside the office. Officers also found an SKS seven rifle and Rinker's car, which was parked in the garage and Charles Schwab brokerage office. I mean, this could be a testament to, you know, being, we don't take shit or also they're just like the man and don't give a shit. They open the next day for business. Whoa. Again, no one knows what that business is, but they were still there to do it. They're like, you want your pot even more? You need your pot even more now. Yes. We all need pot now. Despite shattered

glass and bullet holes in the walls, they opened. You got it because Charles got a Schwab, no matter what. Fucking no matter what. That's right. Schwab's got a Schwab. Got a Schwab. Peace. Peace. Peace out. Hey, I'm Jesus. Peace out. I mean, the only reason I can do that like that, and I was so excited when you brought it up is because when you're, when you're a race cat, like you sit in church staring at like the same two statues constantly. And I was obsessed. There was a statue of the Virgin Mary and I was like, how did she get her hand like that? I just stared at it. I practiced it in my room. I don't know what it didn't really mean anything. George was like, what does that mean? And I'm like, it's just the way they make the statue. It's just,

it's some kind of, look, I'm not holding a weapon. You can trust me. You can trust me. I'm the Virgin Mary. Look, listen, I trust you more right now. Yeah, right? Weird. Kind of open. I'm open. This is weird. Yeah, I don't get it. Now I'm closed. Peace out. This dude, his leg is shattered. He remains in the hospital. All these surgeries on his fucked up leg. Rinker's mother told the press that her son was troubled. And the press is like, no shit. She says, we believed he had a death wish. I really believed he was hoping the police would shoot him. He was sentenced to, are you ready for this? 300 years in prison. Whoa. I totally thought it was going to go the other way. No, shit. He tried to escape from the Oregon state penitentiary in 2000, but was quickly recaptured

after was caught up in the razor wire. Oh, you think they were gentle when they got him out of that? You think they just grabbed him by his scrap and fucking, yeah. So he didn't try to escape. He just kind of ran for it like a dipshit. Do you want to see his photo now? Yes. You mean the same one? No. Uh-huh. That's why I asked. You could have said no. No. I know. Yeah, he probably should be in a mental institution for 300 years. The gun dealer who sold the two assault rifles used in the tower incident said he was getting out of business after his license expired after this fucking thing happened. He didn't know that ring curve is mentally ill when he purchased the rifles and regrets what happened as a result of his sale. Um, you know, that's the thing about

selling guns. Yeah, there's not, you can't take a temperature and be like, you shouldn't have a gun. It's tough. Seems like there's a way you could though. Seems like, seems like if we would just make the lightest fucking effort, the simplest, I mean, how many more story, this is like the lightest version of this story that you could possibly find. And this is why in November, you need to Vogue. Please vote. Come on Vogue in November. It's important. So Howard Barley, oh, I just remembered the best, the best Vogue from Paris is burning where you pretend like you're putting powder on yourself. And then he said, and then you turn the mirror around and you show it to them, which is like the ultimate slam. Like I'm pretty. Now look at you. How mean

is that? I also like, I'm hardcore Vogue-ing, but I'm also don't care so much that I'm putting makeup on. Amazing. But also I need to stop for a light back down. Please watch the documentary Paris is burning if you haven't. It's the best thing. Amazing. It's the best thing ever. I want to, okay. Um, boop, boop, boop. Okay. So Howard Barley, the delivery man from, where did I say he was from? Remind me. Chili's, the movie theater, Charles Schwab, Milwaukee, San Francisco. All right. Anyway, thank you. Uh, so he almost lost his life in 1996. He doesn't, he says he doesn't think much about the man responsible for it today, even though the issues with mental health and access to assault weapons persist. He said, quote, it's a situation. This fucking guy, I love this

dude. He's like, got this best fucking brain. He says it's a situation that society hasn't really dealt with. And I think at this time it's not capable of dealing with, he said. James Rinker isn't eligible for release until 20, 22, 66. Oh, and that's the coin tower siege hostage crisis of 1996. 22. Well, the best news about that is that in 22, 66, he'll be swimming in his cell because it'll all be under water. Oh shit. End of days. Oh, water shouldn't cost money. Okay. And in finality. Soon it won't. Okay. Ready for hometown? We have time for a quick hometown. Let's do it. Here's Vince with the mic. Oh yeah. Where do they come in? Word of wisdom for us. Anything we need to know? Did you notice the changing leaves on the way in from the airport? Oh my God, you

guys. Also, I want to thank Vince for getting us a box of chicken and a biscuit, our new fucking writer. What a cracker. Thank you. What a cracker. Okay. Thank you. Thanks, Vince. All right. Chicken and a biscuit. Oh my God. Look how far it goes. Hi, guys. Hi. What's up? That's a lot of people. Okay. So this is hometown time. No pointing yet. Karen's going to tell you things. First of all, what a gorgeous theater. What a gorgeous theater. Truly. This is crazy. Did they know where they were before they agreed to this? No, we heard nine inch nails was here last night. Is that true? So here's let me just run down super. It's important to listen to this because I'm only telling you the rules because they're crucial pieces of information that you need to

know. If you get picked to tell your hometown, we would like and we wouldn't just like it is fucking required that you tell a story that's from Oregon, please. Now you can't slip by that rule and say, I'm from Oregon. This story is from Florida because we'll all hate you. So please be have it be a local story. Please know the story. Please don't be so drunk that you forget the story in the middle and start giggling and then say hi to your friend and do some shout outs. Please make sure the story has a beginning and middle and an end. Usually if you have to muck around in the middle, at least know what happened to the person who did the thing so that we all have a little relief. We could put a button on it before the night ends. And what's the best one of all? Everyone hates you.

If you get picked, everyone hates you. So keep it quick. And now, does anyone have a hometown story that they would like? Just feel it. Your friend is raising his hand. Okay. Karen, you pick. You pick. I'm scared. Okay. White shirt that's screaming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Way back there. White shirt. Don't encourage screamers. Come around the front. Yeah, but she's so far away. Come this way on the front. Yeah. Yeah. And then through here, pick up your drink up in the front row here and hand it to me. This way, this way. And then there is over to that way. So close. Yeah. Ashley made it. She did it. Ashley did it. The balcony sent Ashley down as their representative. And she fucking made it. Ashley. I don't know. It's on your name. It says Ashley

Bitterman. Is your name Ashley? It really is Ashley. Say hi to Ashley, everybody. Is it Ashley Bitterman? That's what Georgia asked. No, you're not a Bitterman. Okay. Turn the lights down so she doesn't freak the fuck out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't look up there. Don't look. Don't look. There's nobody here. Look at us. So many people. I know it's a ton of people. It's all your friends and family. Yo, it's all your friends from the internet. Yeah, pretty much. Ashley, where are you from? Milwaukee, Oregon. So this is my... Thank God. Wait, is that a Milwaukee, Oregon? There is, yeah. What? You guys tricked me. So this is a Milwaukee accent. Oh, shit. I got tricked hard. This reminds me. That's right. Oh my God. That's right. That reminds me when we were in Boston and I was doing

a story and it was like, she was from Avon and I was like, I need to look up if Avon is a place or if she was an Avon lady. She was from Avon. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh. Let's go. So this story is from Milwaukee, actually. When I... I'm like, Sander. I know, right? This is crazy. I was like, I'm not going to get picked. Are you a touch drunk or any drunk? I did not drink during the show. Right. That's why I drank beforehand. Wow. There's a long ellipsis at the end of that sentence. I'm just like... But I started at 8 a.m. this morning. Yes. Something like that. If only. Now it's like a four, four o'clock. Okay, all right. Okay. I only had like one bottle of champagne. You've got an hour and a half to sit over at. Yeah, you're fine. The lines were way too long here.

Yeah. Do that on purpose. We'll fix it. We'll fix it for tomorrow. Okay. So, Milwaukee, Oregon. It's where I was born and raised. My mom also grew up there. I feel like my voice is shaking. Don't think about it. Don't get in your head. Okay. It's okay. That makes some sense. So, Milwaukee, Oregon. I graduated from Rex Putnam High School, which is... Go, Mighty. Also, Falling Rocks. Yes. The Mighty Falling Rocks. Okay. Kingsman, but close. Oh, okay. I was gonna say that. They fought many, many Falling Rocks. That's how they got them. Exactly. So, it's also where my mom graduated. So, this story I got from her. She had told me about it when I was a kid, and I maybe caused a bit of like, lore at my school from it,

because I thought something different happened, but I called her today and got the real details. I was like, oh, okay. But this happened in January 14th of 1982, and my mom had a yearbook dedicated to this wonderful woman. Her name was Ann Jeanette Perry. I made sure and tell myself the names over and over again. You practice. That's good. But she was the PE and health teacher there. She was also one of the best in Oregon. She was involved in so many different things, but sadly, she was murdered on January 14th. Did I say 14th? Yeah, you nailed that. 14th, 1982. Okay. On this day, her roommate actually found her. She didn't show up for school. Everyone was a little worried. Her dad went over to her apartment. Didn't see anything. Was like, okay,

like things are a little maybe something might have happened. But he called the police. Her roommate showed up home later and found in her bed Jeanette's body. That's the article that I read said that Ann and Jeanette, she liked to go by Jeanette. She was found there. Her roommate found her under some pillows and blankets that were kind of in a disarray. She was looking around like, whoa, why is my bed like this? Saw her feet immediately called the police. Police showed up, found Jeanette. She was strangled, beaten, and she was stabbed through the heart with a pair of scissors. Oh my God. Yeah, horrible. She was found pretty much naked. And the kind of a weird thing was she had a pair of underwear like pushed up like partway or on her thighs, which the police

were like, that's weird. So from there, they didn't have very many leads. So they found out that she had been dating a few people. One guy which she had just broken it off with was a night janitor at Rex Button High School named Leroy Wayne Earp spelled E-A-R-P. I had to keep saying that to myself, Earp. So they had little clues to go off of. The only thing was they had a witness. One of the neighbors said that they saw a mercury cougar speeding away that night, driven by a man with short hair. And they also had a gold watch that was left tangled in the bedsheets. So the police then looked into Earp and found that he had quite the past. He should definitely not have been hired by high school. But it was the 80s. So things like that didn't matter. They found that

they didn't. I was there. It was bad. It sucked. Just two years beforehand, he was paroled after spending 14 years in prison for murdering a woman. And this I just found insane. His story for murdering her was he blacked out because he had taken too many pills and strangled her somehow. But then he kept that woman's body in his trunk for two days until police found it. At 14 fucking years and that's it. Yep. Just 14 years. And then the high school was like, great. Yeah. Yeah, we'll take you. Yeah, just work nights. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, pre-internet. Guys, pre-internet. So, and then, and he had history of assault, rape, and burglary. And it was just insane. Clearly, he was on quite the path. So then, a couple days before

Jeanette was murdered, she had actually confronted him and was like, hey, I kind of heard that you might have been in prison for maybe murdering somebody. And he was like, well, yeah. She was just like, well, I don't think you should be working here. So with that in mind, it's believed that was part of the motive. He saw that his job was in jeopardy. So then, a couple days after the murder, police find his mercury kind of off of I-84 towards the Dalles, so kind of in very deserted area. And inside of it, it was filled with just like an assortment of things, one of which was like a little like lunch baggy, like a brown lunch bag full of stuff from Jeanette's house. So then, he, police were on the lookout for him. They couldn't quite find him. So they were staking

out in Northeast Portland, where his parents lived. And from there, he, they couldn't find him, and then they ended up picking him up a couple days later. It was like the 16th, right, like a Fred Meyer parking lot actually. Police went up to him and was like, hey, are you this guy? And he was like, no, no, I'm somebody else. So once they took him into custody, they found out he had been hiding for like two days in a state park in a women's restroom, of which women's bowling league had stopped by to use the restroom to women walked in, and he was in there and just scared the shit out of him. And they were like, what the fuck? And they ended up actually giving him a ride back into Portland. If only they had known. Luckily, they were all fine,

but they police picked him up. And his story was that he had gone to Jeanette's house, seen her body freaked out and ran away. Police were like, okay, well, why was your watch in bed? Of which a witness came forward and proved that it was his watch during the trial. He went to trial. He was convicted. He was found guilty by jury of his peers, even though he pled non guilty or not guilty. And he was sentenced to life in prison. And he spent the rest of his life in prison, still claiming his innocence. He went through appeals, but he was found guilty. And he actually died in prison last year. So that's the best possible one you could have given. And say her name again, Jeanette and Jeanette. And Jeanette Perry. And Jeanette Perry. Beautifully done. That was masterful. Thank

you. Ashley nailed that shit. Ashley, you guys. Great job. You guys can keep that microphone. That's yours. No, no, no. They're real expensive. Take it. Jesus Christ. She knows every fucking fact. She knows more facts than we did. That's right. Wow. Portland. We fucking love it here. So much. Truly, like, if I am when I'm forced to leave Los Angeles, I feel like this is the number one on my list today. Hell yeah. You guys are so rad. We love you. We love you so much. You've always been incredibly supportive, very vocal and virulent from day one. Portland. I'm not kidding. And that the very first tour that we went on, our agent that books all these tours, he does it all by numbers. And, you know, they have a whole system or whatever. And he's like, you guys got to go

to Portland. That's like one of the first things he said. And then we had to do three fucking nights of shows because you guys were so angry about it. And then you gave us a fucking vomit in the aisles. It was amazing. And we were like, hell yes, we're never not coming here. So thank you so much for your support. Thank you for being here and for creating this community. We say this all the time, but we really, really mean it. There's this community that's grown up out of people listening to this podcast. You've all done it for each other and with each other. And you're doing amazing things. And I know that there's a lot of fucked up shit happening in the world right now, but there's some really amazing shit happening in this community. And that's a great

thing to hold on to right now. We're vogueing together. Let's all vogue on November, whatever this day is, you're supposed to vote. 10th, 7th, 8th, you could probably do it now. 7th. I can't, I don't have my glasses on. 7th. I can't count. People going like this. Then why did you do, okay. Don't start fights. We show up on November 11th. I've got all my votes tallied. Who would like to record them? Is that it? Yeah, thanks you guys. We'll see you tomorrow night. Thank you so much Portland. So much fun. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye you guys. Thank you.