My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 326 - Don't Ask Tig Notaro

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

On today's episode, Georgia and Karen welcome comedian Tig Notaro, host of the podcast Don't Ask Tig, to tell her hometown story.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is exactly right. We at Wondery live, breathe, and downright obsess over true crime. And now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C, on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music. See, it's truly criminal. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. That's Georgia Hartstark.

That's Karen Kilgariff. And I'm Tig Notaro, and this is Don't Ask Tig. Yes. The ultimate combination. The big crossover you've all wondered and waited for. Everyone's been looking at their watch waiting for this trio. It's now dropped. Here it is.

A new world. Tig, how are you? I'm doing all right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing well. What about yourselves? I feel like I'm doing well, although I can't figure out what temperature I am at any given time of the day, like flip flops, slippers, a light sweater.

Is it menopause? It could be a perimenopause. Okay. Frighteningly enough. I'm full-blown menopause. Are you full-blown? Mm-hmm. What gave it away?

How did you know that it was happening? Just flop sweat every 15 minutes, and just the very generic, embarrassing marriage issue of the, I'm too hot, I'm too cold, but to the craziest degree where Stephanie is dressed in a snuggle suit, as we call it, and I'm just not anything on me, and I'm just dripping in sweat, and then I'm freezing and dripping in sweat, and plus I'm 51, and so that gave it away, too. Isn't it funny that when you're with someone long enough, you get mad at them when they're not the temperature that you are, and then like, why are you hot, or why are you wearing

that instead of it just being fine that everyone's different? Yeah. Yeah, Stephanie and I always take those moments, and when we get frustrated with each other or overly comfortable with each other in maybe gross or awkward moments, we always say, first date, and then we pretend like that is happening on the first date when you're fighting over the temperature, and it really brings us a lot of joy, and it kind of snaps us back into how we're maybe talking to each other or treating each other. I love that.

That is just some of the amazing advice that you can get on Don't Ask Tick. That is actually an amazing presence reminder for people. Yeah, and not only does it make you realize how comfortable you are with that person, but it also immediately kicks you into a fit of laughter because when you think of, first of all, dressing in a snuggle suit on the first date and yelling at each other about the temperature, another thing that I encourage people to try when Stephanie and I had our first argument that was a very clear argument. I remember walking over to a window, and I don't have a singing voice, but I put my hand

on the window, and I just started singing a song that I was making up in the moment called There Was a Time, so I was just staring off into the distance singing There Was a Time, and I started reminiscing about when we got along. That also made us laugh really hard, and to this day, when we have arguments, we bust into improv musicals and remind each other of the good times when we're in the middle of a fight. This is magic. This is magic relationship advice.

But what's key that we also learned, you can't end things in the fun and laughter that you've diverted to. You have to actually go back and revisit the issue. But it's never going to work in the moment when you're fired up, right? So you bring it back to a level, and then you can revisit it in that moment or later, but yeah, that's not the place where you're going to solve it, is where you're heightened anyways. That's such a great idea to break the tension.

And then you can't just stay in the ridiculous laughter fit that you're in while you're singing to each other and calling each other out on issues or reminiscing on good times. You have to have that fun and then go back and say, also, here's why you're terrible. Right. Here's why you shouldn't be. Let's remember what this is really all about, which is me pointing out your flaws. Here's why we're fighting about windshield wiper fluid, which is my most recent fight with my husband.

And then it's like, you get back and you're like, why are we fighting about windshield wipe? Yeah. Well, because you have to kill time until you die. What else am I going to talk about? Truly. I've always really enjoyed window comedy, too, like that. I think there was some like anti-depressant ad where a woman, before she gets the pill,

she walks over to a window and then just pulls a huge sweater across herself and just stares. The idea that like that's depression in a nutshell is so funny to me where it's just like, I just have to look out the window. That's how bad it is. But I'm always cold because I'm depressed. Also just adjust the air in your house. Not when you're depressed. Well, you can't do anything when you're depressed.

Can't. Amen. That just reminds me of when my mom was going through a menopause and she would pick up whatever was like flappable nearby and be like, is anyone else hot? For months where we were like, no, the answer's no, like no one else is fanning themselves. Aggressively fanning themselves. Yes. It would be like a huge menu from a restaurant.

God, is anyone else? And it would just be like, she could never accept the fact it was just happening to her. She needed people to go there with her. And it's the anger that comes with it. Right. Just like, nobody else? Yeah. Anybody else?

What's wrong with all of you? Turn the sun lamp off me, please, God. So I have to mention, which quite possibly if people are familiar with me that are listening, I'm assuming you're going to actually air this, but if you are listening and you're thinking, wait, TIG is experiencing menopause and she looks like that. People sometimes think that when you're gay or you look masculine in any way that you don't go through menopause, it throws them off. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, but those people can't balance a lot of things in their heads at once. Absolutely. But I'm just, I don't want to leave anyone out. Are you saying when you go through that hot flash, every time you walk over and real quick put on some hot pink lipstick, here, is this what you want? Bork home my mustache, whichever direction I go in. Oh, and then everyone's head is explode and no one's happening. And why isn't it called womanopause?

Oh, hot take. Thank you. Hot take. Great point. Thank you. There was a time. You guys have known each other forever and ever, right? I mean, I would say maybe 15 years, would you say?

Oh, okay. To the day. So happy anniversary. Happy anniversary to you. I know. I can't believe it's come around again. Oh, you guys. It's too bad we don't have that picture of us from that Europe.

I think it was bumbershoot, right, where we took like a prom photo in front of a fire. Oh my God, you have to find that. It's somewhere. I think you just did it like, let's just do this right now. It wasn't like for a reason. No, I think probably looking back, the reason it happened was I think I had that immediate fall in love with your comedy experience because I don't think we had hung out before that. No, we hadn't.

That's true. Yeah. I met you and I'm fumbling over my words, but I had a comedy fall in love with somebody and I probably wanted to ask you to prom, but yeah, well, I remember Karen was married at the time, so it probably wasn't appropriate for me to ask her to prom, so I just thought let's pose by the fireplace. That's the thing that got me into comedy were those comedy crushes. It was like when someone's on stage saying a thing that is so specifically unique to

them or like you go, wait, what? I didn't ever think of that. There's this very heady, almost like 12-year-old feeling of like them, them, you know, like you just get that thing where you're just like your brain, your personality. It's so exciting and it's a thing that having done stand up, like you value the most of like a unique voice that's being themselves. Absolutely. And where you find yourself a comedian laughing, which is unusual sometimes after a certain

point because when you're processing comedy, I know for myself a lot of times I'll be thinking, oh, that's interesting or that's really funny. And those are the thoughts that are going through my brain while I'm watching comedy a lot of times, but then there are the people that make me laugh out loud as it's called. And my wife is one of them where I'm just, I feel so thankful every day that she makes me laugh that hard. And when you find those people where you are for sure thinking, oh, that's interesting or oh, what an angle.

I never thought of that, but also you're crying, you're crying, laughing and you you're pushing them away from you because you yeah, you're just like those kind of last where you're just like you're silently cackling and tears are coming out of your eyes and you're physically pushing them away from you because it's way too much. It's there's nothing better and nothing more rare after you become a comedian. Very true. So the whole like arms crossed, you can't get me. I've seen it all.

I've been doing stand-up for four years or whatever like everybody wants to be the expert. But then at certain points you watch people and just go, oh, this is I get to be an audience member now. I get to not know anything and just be like absorbing this because I remember watching your set, but I'd been out for a long time. And so I just heard of you and new people loved your stuff and then I watched your set and it was just the one where at the beginning you just keep adjusting the mic stand and then you end up putting it up in the audience like when you put it away, yeah, yeah, further

and further away and the that it was just such a perfect opening joke for that exact moment where that audience couldn't believe because they'd seen probably seen 25 comics that day. It was like the festival, you know, ingestion of comedy where they were all becoming experts and then suddenly it was just like it's exactly what I said, but it's a hundred times funnier to watch it because it's just what comics do when they get on stage of the slight adjustment of like, yeah, this definitely needs to be one and a half feet over there right now, which is right, you know, that's great.

Just walking a mic stand all the way up to the top row of a theater is really satisfying. I love that. Yeah. I used to love just wandering around the theater with a mic stand going, where can I put this so I can get my show started? Oh, Mike. That reminds me. I don't think I've ever done that on a special or anything and maybe I'll maybe I'll revisit

that. One of the greats. One of the early greats. Wow. I will say as a professional comedy fan myself and not a comedian, I've watched both of you and had the, oh my God, fangirl laugh out loud. I want to know her moments, so it's a treat for me to be on on this recording listening to you guys.

Talk shop. That is so kind. I love being a part of it. I always feel ridiculous because whenever I am around Karen, I've moved beyond where I always bring it up to Karen, but Stephanie and I, my wife and I would just talk about Karen incessantly and I would just randomly text her and be like, we are talking about you again, we can't get over this thing you said, we love this song. Oh my God.

I mean, it was, it's, it's, it's like, it's truly a drug. It's truly a drug when you find somebody that funny. Thank you so much. I feel the exact same way. And also those texts, just so you know, you were sending them at a very bad time in my life. Oh, I think that was my era where basically the writing jobs I could get where like it was a lot of four week jobs on a, a pilot for the E channel.

There's a lot of stuff where I was like, what am I doing? Should I move home? Uh-huh. And then I would just get a text from TIG that was like, your album is making me cry. It's the best. And then it just be like, okay, I'm going to stay here for two more weeks. She thinks I'm funny. And so therefore.

Yes. We're going to hold on. It was beyond obsessive. I feel like Stephanie and I could, she has a great voice. I don't, but I feel like we could re-record your album. Do it. Word for word. Okay.

Word for word. We have, we have that kind of time. We'll do it. Yeah. The kids can be back up, right? Yeah. Just like be the audience. Oh my God.

Will you tell us a little bit about your family? I would love to. I have three cats for starters. We have two almost six year old twins and Max and Finn and they are luckily very interested in similar things, but they could not be more different. It's so crazy. I mean, they're both really into sports. They play baseball, football, basketball, kickball, tennis, their bikes, they swim, I mean everything.

They're so into it. But Finn watches. He watches all the games. He gets up at five in the morning, checks Stephanie's cell phone and checks stats. A five year old? Yeah. Oh my God. I didn't know they did stuff like that these days.

I don't know if they do. And he feels like one of those kids you could put on a talk show, although we would never put them on a talk show. He knows everything. He can tell you, I guess there's been 29 games this baseball season or I don't know if it's preseason. I don't know what's going on, but there's 29 games. He can tell you the score of every game and who played.

And he knows when so and so was traded to what team. Wow. It's so crazy. And he's this big. It's incredible. You are Stephanie fans of baseball. Did he start absorbing this because you guys would have a game on? Probably.

I always say I look more like I would be following the sports, but Stephanie is more in the sports world. Like she's in an all female basketball league and she has a game tonight that I'm going to go watch. And then her dad lives with us and he used to coach all of the kids teams when Stephanie and her siblings are growing up. And so we call Max and Finn and Papa Grande is their grandfather. The three of them are the triplets because they're always playing sports or playing cards

or rolling around on the floor. So it's nice, but there's no vibe at all in our house where it's like, you got to get out and you got to, you know, hit that ball. What team is this person on? What team is that person? Yeah, there's, there is none of that. It's just as the seasons go by, the sports seasons, Max and Finn play baseball when baseball season's on football, same thing and basketball, same thing.

But Max is more into Star Wars and superheroes and he loves ants and bugs and snakes. And we have an ant farm at our house and whereas Finn, he didn't really care about that. They're both into music. They both sing John Denver and Dolly Parton and James Taylor around the house, just belt it. And it is like, it is, it is the cutest thing you've ever heard in your life. Country roads, take me home. Oh, come on.

In a little five year old voice. Yes. That's the greatest. Yes. It's the best. I love that because growing up, my mama do this thing where to get us out of bed because we were both so my sister and I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. So she'd put on like Carol King's tapestry because she realized like yelling, throwing

the door open and screaming wasn't working. Like we were just used to it and didn't care or whatever. But then if she would put this music on like while she was getting ready for work, then it was almost like, oh, it's time to get up and it was like the better way to do it. I love that when like music is kind of already there. It's not something like you have to go discover when you're a teen or something. It's like there's household music. Yes.

And we have a music room and so they mess around mainly Max goes in and he messes around on the piano and drums and, you know, he's never had lessons in it and it shows. Ask the neighbor. But he's loving it and our neighbors, they'll hear it sometimes and they're like, man, it's not a good, I don't know who's up there playing, but it's not a good damn. That's good neighbors. I have to say, as far as getting up, Stephanie to this day makes fun of me because I told her when I was terrible at waking up as a kid, I failed three grades, dropped out of

high school. I have a seventh grade education. I was not out the door for school ever and my mother would yell, are you up? You know, and I would, I would with attitude say, I'm putting my shoes on while I was lying on bed. What did you think you were going to say? No. Yeah.

But I would do it with such attitude, like I'm brushing my teeth and then I just go back to sleep. And so to this day, Stephanie will yell to me like, I'm put if I'm taking too long. I'm putting my shoes on. I got caught one time. I got up, went in, took a shower, came back to my room and had the towel wrapped around and then the big towel wrapped up in my hair. And then I just laid back down and went to sleep and my mom would be like, are you kidding

me? Like it made her snap because I'd had started, but yeah, I had to go back. My mom would do a thing and now Vince does it where she, she'd go like this. She would make that noise, that song exactly. And it drove me crazy. What is that song? That's the revelry to wake up, revelry. So Vince fucking, like Vince does it his last try, you know, like nothing else is working

because he knows like my mom and my ear will piss me off and up to wake me up. And that really gets you out. Oh yeah. Gets me angry and out of bed. And by the way, I've heard that song before the, I might have, I just didn't know the name. Ah, yes. Yeah.

Again, I have a seventh grade. Look, I barely graduated high school, missed most of high school. You did? Yeah. I get it. I get it. Yeah. Look at us now.

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Goodbye. What makes a person a murderer? Are they born to kill or are they made to kill? I'm Candice DeLong and on my new podcast Killer Psyche Daily, I share a quick 10-minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths and cold-blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent and criminal profiler. On Killer Psyche Daily, I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly

arrested Stockton serial killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia and even host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning questions. Hey, Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast, Killer Psyche Daily, in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. Do you want to get into?

Yeah, we brought you here today because we wanted you to tell us your hometown story. Have you been interested in true crime? Did you ever read and rule books growing up or watch forensic files or anything like that? I mean, I can't claim like, oh yeah, like forever I followed true crime or anything. I dated a woman like maybe 10 years ago and she was really into, I think it was the show called, was it called Snatched or did I just call it Snatched? Or Snapped? Yeah.

Snapped. Snapped, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, no, she watched that show Snapped. I would just, you know, lie in bed with her and watch it and I would think, oh wow, this really is, it does suck you in. Did she like it because it was like women becoming murderers? I think she was just really into the off the rails vibe of it all. But yeah, music and documentaries I love and that's my other podcast is Tigg and Sheryl

True Story. It's a weekly podcast about a new documentary and sometimes that crosses over with true crime and I certainly love looking at and discussing those stories. But yeah, I think I probably just had a normal interest if that even, you know, nothing where I'm like, I got to start a podcast about true crime, you call it my favorite murder. Yeah, that's pretty intense. It's kind of extreme. Yeah.

So you have a couple of stories of things that happened when you were younger. Do you think having had a personal connection to some really awful things that happened make you kind of less wanting to dive deep into other people's stories? I don't know because we've certainly covered true crime, murders on Tigg and Sheryl. You know, and it's fascinating. It's just that human behavior that you don't understand. I know for myself, I just go back to, I don't understand how it gets to that point. No matter how much you're upset about the windshield wiper fluid, you know what I mean?

No matter what it is, and then the fascinating part is you also hear a lot of times for people, it's not premeditated and that's that snapped element. It's just that the psychology of it, the mystery, that's what's so fun. I think even on a very nothing level, the mystery of will they or won't they get together in a love story? You love that purgatory, that the unknown and waiting and the anticipation, where are they going to fall in love? Are they going to be together?

What happened? What's that area that's in between? You don't know. It's riveting. Well, on a show like Snap, I definitely watched it and I think it's that thing. The first one I think of is like, it's people in an office, right? So then it's like, it's this lady in the office and she acts weird and she does weird stuff with people's lunch and this and that.

But then what people don't know is that this is going to add up to this horrifying crime. And that idea that I guess this is for me when I watch those things where it's like, okay, so if I'm ever in an office and someone's doing stuff like this, I have to remember, like this is going to be a key to future human behavior. So I won't be caught unaware, like if someone's touching other people's food in the refrigerator at work, red flag, like be careful of that person or whatever. Look for the bodies under their desk, call the police the second they eat your tuna sandwich. It's over.

Man. The second they touch your tuna sandwich. Look at it. Call 911. Yeah. And then just start screaming inside the office. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. No, I don't know if it made me, well, yeah, as you mentioned, there were two stories. One was, I mean, I don't know, should I go into this now? Sure. Yeah. Whatever you want, yeah. My closest friend in seventh grade dated this guy as much as you date in seventh grade. And he was definitely a little different than anybody else.

He also happened to live, I believe, next door to or on the same street as one of my good friends, and they grew up together on the street or next door. Again, I can't remember because it was in junior high school, but my truly very best friend, not like, oh, years later, and I'll just call her my best friend, dated this guy. And I would say he was somebody that just was undeniably different. And as I mentioned earlier, I failed, I was a dropout person. I ended up in in-school suspension and in that kind of world of at-risk kids. And I remember being in in-school suspension with him, and I remember one time looking

over and seeing him, just the back of him falling asleep, just, I don't know if you had in-school suspension in your school. You had tottering on this. Well, and each of us had to be in like a cubicle. Like you couldn't look at or see anybody. You had to do all your classwork, and they deliver my classwork to me. And I was sitting there thinking, look, I don't do my work outside of in-school suspension. So I don't know who they think is going to be doing this work that's being delivered

to me in in-school suspension. It was just pile up. But I look over and I see his name was Ricky, and I see the back of him and just slowly falling asleep and then just fell out of his chair, having nothing to do with what he was going to later do. But I just was in the circles of him. He was not somebody I ever had plans with or had his phone number. But yeah, after he had dated my friend, I guess he was gifted a shotgun by his parents.

This was in Texas, and he drove up to our school one day. He was 15. We weren't old enough to drive. He drove his dad's pickup truck to our school and told the principal, I can't remember if he said I killed my parents or if he said my parents are dead. But I do remember that his mother was, I think, putting clothes away in the hallway upstairs and then over the balcony, his father was in a recliner. And his brother had headphones on and was sleeping in his bedroom listening to music.

And he shot his mother and then over the balcony shot his dad. And then he threw the rifle in the lake and then he drove up to school. And I know that later, I don't know if it's true, but I think he claimed that I think he was adopted. I think he claimed that there was abuse that had gone on in his upbringing. But I don't know. And I don't know if you have any comment or questions about that. Well, I do.

I actually do have a question. So he didn't do anything to his brother. So his brother just basically, when he finally got up, found his parents dead. And the crazy part was also that that was around the time that that Skid Row song, remember the band Skid Row, had that song 18 in life. And the kid's name is Ricky. In the song. In the song.

Yeah. And that kid's name was Ricky. Oh my God. And did they send him to jail for life? I believe, I don't know where he is now. But yeah, I think he was tried as an adult. It does say a lot to me. And I mean, obviously I'm not a professional anything, but that he shot the two people

he wanted to shoot. Nobody else got rid of the gun. Not to hide evidence, just to get rid of the gun and then went and told an authority figure. I don't know why, but to me, that does say that there was some abuse going on. But he was so methodical about it because he wanted these two people gone. Yeah. And you know, it's funny because as I'm telling this story, what is so insane to me is that I remember when everybody was like, oh my gosh, Ricky drove his truck up to school and

his parents are dead and somebody shot his parents or he shot his parents. And I remember, of course, it was shocking to find. I mean, it was so a lot to process. But also, what I couldn't believe was that he drove the truck up to school. I remember being like, whoa, Ricky drove his parents' truck up to school. It just seemed so... That was your brain's way of being like, as all of the crazy adrenaline and shock is going into your brain.

It's like, okay, everyone over here, let's focus on this driving thing, nothing to see over there. Yeah. Let's talk about Ricky driving the pickup truck up to school. Yeah. I can't handle this part yet because that is one of those kind of teenage adolescent events where it's like, and then the world is different from there on out, like that idea that that would even be possible.

Well, I remember as it took, I mean, every year for a long time, I would think, whoa, Ricky is still in jail. Wow. Ricky is still... And I would hit milestones in my life. I don't think about Ricky anymore until this podcast came up, but he doesn't really cross my mind. But I would say for a good 10 years, and that was...

I think we were like 14 or 15, something like that. And I would say, yeah, a good 10 years, I would hit a milestone or I would reflect and think Ricky is still in jail, that all of our lives moved on and we're moving to different states or traveling Europe or going to college or falling in love or whatever it is. And whatever caused Ricky to do this, which is always the question, I think is, have you changed? Are you a different person? Do you have regrets?

Right. Are you still angry? Yeah. What? Yes. You know? Answers. Yeah.

Yeah. So that was somehow, in my childhood, there were two murders that surrounded my life. And that was the first. It was big. Yeah. It was on the front page of the news the following day. And I... Did your school have any kind of like counseling?

Did they make an announcement? No. No, no, no. They just... We're the same age, I think. Yeah. So it was the 80s. It was kind of like, guys, take care of this yourselves.

You might want to smoke pot down in the creek. You might want to drink extra beer at the kegger this weekend. Right. It's really all we have for you. Yeah. Guys, Ricky killed his parents, heads down, let's keep moving, you know? Right. Almost like, this has nothing to do with you.

So why would you be upset, that kind of like mentality? You know, I do think that there was like a string of suicides that happened at our school in high school. And I do remember there was therapy at that point, because it was just a chain of kids that were killing themselves. And so I do remember that, whereas when the murder happened, you just went home and processed that. Right.

It was probably the beginning of the 24-hour news cycle. It's not the kind of thing that was so normalized. Right. Like I just saw a headline that said this weekend there were three mass shootings in America. And we are not registering them anymore. Like it's kind of like you see it and you just kind of go, oh, what city, oh, I mean, I should say I do.

What city, oh, okay, whatever. But it's like, there was a time that stopped everything and the conversation completely focused on that. And now it's just been normalized entirely. And you know, I don't know if this is good or bad, but probably nine months ago I stopped reading the news. I'm so, I picture myself on a raft. I don't follow pop culture.

And then I stopped reading the news. So I picture myself on a raft that got cut loose and I'm just drifting away into nowhere. I don't know where I'm headed, but I was starting to feel like, why am I taking in all of this terrible information that I, if I can't do something about it, what good is it doing? And if I can do something about it, then I better be trying to do something about it. And instead of just being this receptacle for negativity, I couldn't do it. And so I just listened to a five minute news podcast, when I want to know what's going on or Stephanie will say, Hey, do you want to know about the QAnon people that I'm like,

no, I don't, I, that's why I don't. That's why, you know, but every now and then she'll say, Hey, do you want to know about this? And then I'll be like, well, what happened? I'll find out weeks after a new variant is like making its rounds. I just won't even know, but everything becomes truly breaking news to me now. Yeah. Whereas on TV, it says breaking news at the bottom, but that doesn't mean anything.

Whereas now somebody will say, Oh, there was this girl and her boyfriend, they were traveling and she went missing and then he was hiding in the swamps and I'm like, what? And they're like, Oh, you didn't hear about that? And I'm like, no. Yeah. And they're like, Oh my gosh, the whole world's been following this story. I'm like, didn't have a clue. I don't cheat and sneak and read anything.

I'm like, out of it. I'm for you. I don't know if it's good. I don't know if it's good or bad. I can't imagine it's bad in any way at all. As long as you're like checking in and making sure you're not like missing anything important that you could actually then fuck it. I check in very rarely, very rarely.

And I used to be on it, on everything. And now I'm like, please, if I cannot make a difference or if it's sensational, I can't involve myself unless it's in a documentary that I'm covering on my podcast. You want the full story, fully produced story delivered. Yes. I'll watch a movie about something that is sensational, but I will not seek it out. I can't do that to myself anymore. Do you feel better?

Or has it actually improved? It has drastically improved my life. And trust me, there's plenty more improvement I need in my life. But that is something that I was lying in bed one night and I was like, what? What is wrong? What feels off? And I went back to the news. It's bothering me.

And so I just really cut it off. And then I didn't trust that I was going to really commit to it, but I'm telling you. It would shock you what I don't know is going on. It would shock you. I think it's good. Well, even people with a ton of access to it don't know what's going on because that's not the point of news. It's to get you to keep clicking and clicking and clicking.

So I aspire to do what you're doing. It's just so hard. Well, and that feeling of, George and I have talked about this a ton because social media is, it's just a given, right? So it's kind of like saying, I'm not going to eat breakfast anymore or whatever. Like it's this thing that feeds a certain part of you. And so that idea of giving it up, there's a real emptiness it leaves behind. It's just a very difficult relationship where it's like, if you're gone, I feel terrible.

And if you're here, I feel worse. I was flipping through, it's like speed scrolling through Twitter last night. And it truly was, it's like people posting other people fighting. There's so many sets and subsets of it's all different versions of conflict, whether it's like passive aggression, people being like, oh, good one, bestie or whatever, or straight up like political polarized insanity. I'm just like, what is this doing? And it's two in the morning.

I'm just laying here, kind of like looking at it, feeling the need to not miss anything, I think. Yeah. And then you end up missing so much in other ways, life or sleep or, you know, all of the other things. Yeah, there's other things. There's a bunch of other things, there are other things for sure. I feel like a bad podcaster because I'm like, are we just chatting right now?

Like I so am enjoying just talking to you and catching up on your life. I didn't know you only went through to seventh grade. Like the idea that I didn't know that before is fascinating. Yeah, seventh grade education right here. I got my GED and then my cat ate my GED. I have it framed on my wall in my office. There's two corners that have been chewed out of the GED certificate. And then there's little bite marks throughout the rest of the certificate.

Oh my God, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Yeah. And there was such an emphasis put on education growing up and it was such a moment of pride for me to know that my cat ate my GED and that it ended up in the litter box. And then framing my GED and putting it on my wall, it just, nothing feels better. And nobody's ever asked for it. Maybe there's never been a moment, you know, when I dropped out, my mother was like, well, you got to at least get your GED.

So I was like, okay, and somehow I passed and got my GED. And then here's this. This is just randomly sitting here. This is my plant-based nutrition certification that I got during the pandemic. So I didn't have that framed. But first give it to the cats, please. Let's see what they want to have a nibble. Do you want to talk a little bit about plant-based diets before you go?

Yeah. How do I get healthy, please? I'm always fearful that I switch into an annoying gear when I talk about plant-based food. I'll just say that I had deadly diseases from cancer to C. diff, which is a intestinal disease that nearly killed me. And the aftereffects of everything that I went through I've dealt with over the past 10 years. And I just tried plant-based food, and it's helped with pain, inflammation.

It's helped with, I think, prevention. I'm hoping that it will keep things at bay. But yeah, I've become the person that puts emphasis on my diet, exercising every day, getting sleep. I'm very much in that direction. And I was telling Karen the other day that I thought about consulting in my free time. I was just going to ask you where I can sign up for you to tell me everything I'm doing wrong.

Well, I have helped people from my next door neighbor to other comedians, people that have different health issues. I'm certainly not a doctor. But I have some knowledge, and when people are interested, I've tried to help them in my free time, and I started to think, oh, maybe I'll offer this as a service. I'll start consultations. And then I was just like, I do not have time to start hourly consultations. I've done some streaming shows where I've talked about plant-based food, and I've showed

people easy meals that they can prepare when everyone's like, it's so difficult. It's so expensive. It's impossible. It's disgusting. It's all of these things, and I'm like, it's really not. And I think people assume that I'm eating this way against my will and waiting until I can have meat or cheese and that I'm just constantly tortured by the fact that I can't eat like that.

But the fact of the matter is, I have so much information that it's a hard no, and it's not a struggle. It's a pleasure. It's just really changed my life. Yeah, that's what they say is when you get the positive effects from it, you stop craving the things that make you feel terrible because you realize that gut biome is not going to heal itself. No.

And that's what almost killed me, my gut biome. In fact, on a very unfortunate note, the disease C-diff that I contracted 10 years ago that almost took my life, my stepfather got and died from two weeks ago. On the 10-year anniversary of taking my mother off life support, I had to take my stepfather off life support, the 10-year anniversary to the day, and he died of the disease I had 10 years ago. So I can't emphasize enough to people that if you take antibiotics, take probiotics simultaneously because C-diff is no joke and it very sadly took my stepfather's life.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you. Yeah, that's awful. I remember when Flanagan told me that he went and saw you in the hospital and basically kind of told me how bad you were doing where I was like, no, she already went through that. I almost was going to argue with him of like, no, she already went through a really bad illness.

Yeah. That's crazy. It's just like, I don't understand what you're saying, but you're saying you think C-diff had to do with the aftereffects of the cancer treatments that you went through? No. What happened was, all of that was in a four month period of time. I had pneumonia and then I couldn't kick pneumonia and when I went to urgent care, they prescribed antibiotics for me and then I got, I mean, I was nose diving.

I got so ill and then I ended up hospitalized and they said that the antibiotics caused me to contract C-diff because C-diff is a bacteria in your gut and it's fine. It's in with other bacteria and they all work together, but antibiotics can clear out all of the bacteria in your gut and leave C-diff alone to thrive and then it just grows and takes over and just eats your insides. And so I had pneumonia, then contracted C-diff and just during that time, just to add to the suffering, my mother tripped and hit her head and died and then my girlfriend and I broke up and then I was diagnosed with invasive cancer.

And so that's what happened in those four months and that is a true crime. What happened? There's your true crime. Yeah, this is my true crime. It's almost like you're explaining the plot of one of my favorite shows, One Mississippi. It's so weird right now. Yes. And very sadly, that's who passed away was the character Bill from One Mississippi and

it's just- I feel like I know your stepdad. I'm so sad to hear that. I know. He raised me since I was two. It's not like he was some random guy that came in when I was a teenager. And so it was shocking and it was such a haunting full circle thing, the 10-year anniversary of taking my mother off life support and then he died of what I had 10 years ago.

There's something in there that's like, there's like a story there that it doesn't make sense. It really doesn't. And it's just, it's so sad. He just adored my sons and you know, whatever. You have to, you just, it happened. And it's terrible. Yeah. It's terrible.

It's really terrible. I'm so sorry. Yeah. And I think too, in midlife, we start experiencing these losses that we start to realize are inevitable. And I'll never forget when my mom died and I think I just put like a small thing on Twitter and Sarah Silverman DMed me and said, welcome to the Dead Mom's Club. And it was one of the most, I was just kind of like, oh, that's right.

It's I think this only happened to me and like this is the kind of loss that lots and lots of people go through all the time, but you go through it by yourself because there's no, you know, it's, it's isolating and difficult. And it's not the kind of thing you want to explain or express or be emotional. You know, it's, it's just a, it's a truly a burden. I mean, it just makes sense as like, yeah, don't fucking read the news. There's plenty of shit to deal with, you know, right on our front doors every day. And also there's plenty of people who are still here that we're not appreciating and

not thinking, hey, these losses can come at any time. Well, you know, it's so true when my mother died, I remember my stepfather, we had our friends and family over to have a celebration of life. My stepfather who was so tightly wound and his intense stoic way, he made a toast at the memorial, which my brother and I were looking at each other like, well, this is crazy. And he made a toast and he said, you know, I'm kicking myself, but I never had anybody over when she was alive to have this gathering. And then I didn't even learn because there I was having a memorial for him in his house

a week ago. And I'm kicking myself that I didn't have our random childhood friends over to celebrate as my kids called him cowboy Rick, because he lived in Texas to celebrate cowboy Rick. And that is what I walk away from this going, anyone listening to this? Just surprise somebody, especially an elderly person, and just don't tell them it's a party for them. Just have people over and just have a celebration. And I just can't believe I didn't learn because I didn't think he was going to die.

Although can I point out, first of all, you never think, especially parent figures, you just don't think they're going to die. It's very surreal, the whole experience. But you just talked about you live with Stephanie's dad, like you actually are doing that on a daily basis right now. It's just different relationship. But that was the first thing I thought of is kind of like, I think you learned in some ways because there'd be, I think a lot of people have had the opportunity to like live

with in-laws and it's like, oh, I couldn't handle that or this or kind of making it a different thing. And it's like welcoming that generations into your house and into your life like that is, you know, you're doing it. Yeah, for sure. And I did think after that happened that maybe I should mention to Stephanie, like, you know what we should do? Because he loves our friends so much.

Like when we have our friends over, he is just like having a drink and little crackers and cheese, you know, vegan cheese, but he's, you know, he's having a blast. And I was thinking, I should tell Stephanie, we should just have all of our friends over, have a blast and then tell them in the middle of the evening, this was for you. We wanted to celebrate you because people will say no before and say don't, because my brother wanted to throw a big party for Cowboy Rick in our hometown of Mississippi and Rick was like, no, no, no for his upcoming birthday. And so we, I'm realizing we should have just done it and he would have gone to the party

and then you turn and go, this was for you and you can't get out of it. It's just a fun celebration. Yeah. But can I also say, like, I know who Cowboy Rick is and I am sad about the dad that I watched in your beautiful show that you portrayed so carefully and humbly and wonderfully. You kind of did have a party for him because everyone who watches that show knows and loves him. And that's a, that's a beautiful thing.

I mean, nice. Well, thank you. And he loved the show and he thought John Rothman did such a beautiful job at portraying him. He had, he didn't have a single complaint. I thought he was going to be like, I didn't like how you approached that about your mother or this or that issue or he was beaming with pride and it is something I'm so thankful that I can walk away with one Mississippi and I can rewatch it and that there were so many people that just, I mean, it was a show about Cowboy Rick.

It really was. He was the star of the show and one of my favorite things and we can, I know we can move on, but one of my favorite things that he said to me after being so tightly wound through my whole childhood and not understanding me and my failures and my confusion and my wandering, after we buried my mother and we drove away from the cemetery in Mississippi, he cried for the first time I ever saw him and he apologized for not being more supportive and for projecting onto me what he thought I should do. And he said, I'm realizing now that it's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent

who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is and I didn't do that and I am sorry. And he said that through tears as we drove away from burying my mother and I could not believe she didn't see that. But I also felt like if she knew that happened, she would have been like, it doesn't matter when it happened, the fact that it ever happened is what's important. That's an amazing sign of character to be able to be retrospectively humble and apologetic

to somebody to basically get the point. That's what grief's all about. That's what loss is all about is you go, oh, this person's been taken. But then it's like, and so now do you see the people around you? And so now do you appreciate what you have? Will this teach you? Okay, well, we'll see. It'll happen again.

So then we'll see what happens that time. But it feels to me like how we got the message and did the thing that I think is really hard for older generations to do. They weren't raised talking about feelings. Men weren't supposed to have feelings at all. Right. Absolutely. I'm not sure he would come to my shows.

He would visit Max and Finn. He shopped for them. And this is somebody that the only time he called me was to tell me my mother wasn't going to make it. So this is somebody that just leaps and bounds came out of his shell. So for sure. For sure. It's anyway, it's all very intense and I don't know how I ended up talking about that.

Well, we appreciate you sharing that stuff with us. I like it. Yeah. I like it. It's important. That's, there's your breaking news. Sorry. I ruined it.

I ruined it. I had to tag it. And I ruined it. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Wonderful conversation. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Thank you both for having me. Yes. We love you. And I love you. I love you. So you have a show coming up at the Ace Hotel. I believe it's Saturday, May 14th.

That's seven o'clock. I do. Do you want to just do a little pluggy plug? Fine as well. Right? It's my album release. Oh. Yeah.

I had an HBO special last year called Drawn and it was fully animated. This is the audio that's coming out, but I'm doing an hour and a half of my new material. The show is called Hello Again and I encourage people to please come out. There is a moment in the show that I feel like people wouldn't want to miss. That's all I'll say. Okay. Oh my goodness. Yes.

Yes. And do you have a guest list? Can we come to this show? Yes. Please do. Okay. Good. Please come.

I'd love to be there. But I do think I know that you have a brand new opener for that exact set. Do I? Uh-huh. I can move in the mic stand around. Oh. Oh, an opener. An opening act.

Oh, sorry. Just opening joke. Yeah. No. I'm so glad you reminded me of that. Please write it down on a little poster note. Thank you for the act, Al. Okay.

Just a quick note. Yeah. So that'll be a fun show and I'm just on tour and all the, you know, tickets and cities are at tignotaro.com and as we mentioned, I have Don't Ask Tig advice podcast and I have Tig and Cheryl true story about documentaries, some true crime, some not. But if you love documentaries, it's a silly discussion between old pals. It's a great idea. Yeah.

I love it. Yeah. You talk about documentaries all day. Yeah. Well, you're doing it all. We're so proud of you. Yeah. I'm doing it all.

I got my plant-based certification. Literally doing everything possible. Yeah. I'll be reaching out for that and you're a judge. Well, I, uh, I like to hold a gavel when I, uh, when I podcast, yeah, it helps. There it is. Well, you want to close us out with a couple of wraps at the gavel? Yeah.

Yep. That's podcast adjourned. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? Yeah.

Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an exactly right production. Our senior producers are Hannah Kyle Crichton and Natalie Rinn. Our producer is Alejandra Cack. This episode was engineered and mixed by Andrew Epin. Email your hometowns and fucking hurrays to myfavoritmurderatgmail.com. Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at myfavoritmurder and on Twitter at myfavoritmurder. And follow and leave us a review on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

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