My Therapist Ghosted Me - A Wide Gait

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

Vogue & Joanne were at the champagne over the weekend, so you know this will be a good one! Joanne has had a deep dive into OnlyFans and Vogue has a few thoughts about fancy toilets, towel etiquette and whether or not Spencer is sexy. Subscribe, enjoy and leave a review!If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Bo Williams and Joanne McNally. It's the podcast that works on the basis of candidly combing the qualities of your character. You absolutely... Go! Go! I'm going to have a go next. Hold on. It's like, do you remember, you won't know this, Jo, Bosco. Do you remember Bosco

with the two puppets in their heads? Do you not remember anything that happened on Sunday? Why did we talk about Bosco? We met a dog called Bosco that you were like sleazing all over.

You were obsessed with the dog Bosco. You don't remember anything? I know you don't. It's the podcast that works on the basis of candidly combing the qualities of your character

and courageously coming clean to your counterpart. Yes! One to you, Jo. One to you. Nice work. On this week's episode, we have OnlyFans,

marble houses and a wide gate. Should we start off with... I know, I feel like our week wasn't this long for some reason, but it was. But like, I feel I our week wasn't this long for some reason, but it was. But, like, I feel I'm going to start our week on Sunday. Yeah.

So on Sunday, we went to our pals. We've spoken about them quite a lot on the pod because they just keep giving us content. James and Brian, we went to their house for lunch on Sunday. Well, when I say we went, we were meant to go together. I was planning on driving. Then I said, no, Joanne, let's have a couple of drinks and I won't drive.

We're going to leave at quarter past twelve. Not a whisper from Joanne, let's have a couple of drinks and I won't drive. We're going to leave a quarter past twelve. Not a whisper from Joanne McNally. And she never sleeps in until quarter past twelve. And I thought, where is my friend Joanne?

And anyway, Where was I? I have no idea. Well, I text your flatmate. Only when I got in the car, I was like, is it acceptable to mail her flatmate

and see where she is? So Joanne calls me at five to one. I'm on the way. Oh yeah, because this is the first time I ever got a missed call from Spencer because he obviously,

the only time he'd ever contacted me because they thought I was genuinely dead. So he's like, one missed call and he's just questioning, where are you? He'd be sad if you were dead. At least you know that. But we went to their house for lunch

and it was obviously amazing. They got their whole house done up. They have one bathroom and it's all marble. Sorry, can I just flat, okay, so just to give a bit of context. First see the whole fucking house done up. They have one bathroom and it's all marble. Sorry, can I just flat, okay, so just to give a bit of context. First see the whole

fucking house is marble. So basically, these are the friends that I stayed with before and then brought them a Frida Kahlo print and they're so rich that they, on the sly,

gave it away to their Polish builder. Yeah, they didn't like it. They didn't like it, right? So they've redone their apartment and they've basically turned, bought an apartment in London

and turned it into the Sistine Chapel. It is marble. It's like living inside a bowling ball. There's marble everywhere. And they're so posh. I would not be surprised if one day we went in and the original Michelangelo was there

and they're using it as a coat hanger. I think I saw it. I think it's there. Yeah, I saw it. They just have the hand. They don't even care. The hand is like the soap dish in a bathroom. Snapped it off.

The nicest. The nicest. I was going around like taking pictures of everything, trying not to be a creep, but they had like, they had a marble sink. A sink. I'd say their apartment like weighs,

like it's going to turn into the leaning tower of Pisa because theirs is just so heavy from all the marble. It's going to start weighing over. But I went into the toilet, right? And I'd never seen one of these in anyone's house. I actually never, ever even sat on one. So I sat in the toilet, got a terrible fright, first of all, because it was warm. So it's a heated toilet seat, a Toto toilet seat. And then there's all these things like you can have a bum wash, you can have a vajayjay wash. And I thought to myself, oh, I'll have a go at that. And I turned

it on and I could not get it off. It was not fun. It wasn't uncomfortable. For the first like two seconds, it was not... Do you mean get it off as in... No, not get myself off on a bum wash, Joanne. I'm not you. I was like, this is a big opener, Vogue.

Okay. Couldn't get myself off my friend's house. I'm not buying a Toto. It did nothing for me. Honestly, I had to open the door. I had to get James to come in and he came in and he wouldn't help me.

He was just lying on the ground laughing at me. And I'm there. Brian's trying to do a house tour. Don't invite your aunt and I anywhere. Brian's doing a house tour with everybody else like walking by an open bathroom door

with James on the floor dying laughing at me with my shorts around my ankles. And it was, I couldn't stop it. I don't want one of those. I want this heated toilet seat part, but I do not want my bum cleaned. I can't believe I missed that.

Joanne, I don't even know if you were really there. I think you were there just in body. Well, anyway, I was late for the brunch and I knew that he'd be judging me for anything I bought to the house. Like, I am in their house. Do you remember that woman, that 81-year-old woman

in that town in Italy and she tried to fix the fresco of Christ? Do you remember that? Yes. And she just doodled on it. She basically, the equivalent of when

an elderly woman licks her finger and tries to clean her face. She basically did that to Jesus. Wrecked it. Wrecked it. Wrecked it. That's what I am to James and Brian. That's what I am to them. So this time I was like,

I'm going to have to up my game. You came in like a wrecking ball. But I had, I don't mind saying, I bought, I was in buying a bottle of champagne. I was in the Uber on the way and I said to your man,

I need to stop at an off-license. And he wanted to stop at, you know, one of those corner shops that sell like the apples out the front. They have got the best booze. What? I can't believe you wouldn't go into that. The best booze, any booze you want. They've got everything.

They've got the miniatures. Well, but I knew I was going to have to come up. I knew I was going to have to bring champagne. So anyway, there was a Tesco outside the last house. It's not a Prosecco house. No. It's not a Prosecco. Jeez, a Prosecco house? Not at all. Anyway, I ended up buying him champagne in a jacket. It had a

full-blown little jacket on it. And James is so small, I basically bought him a jacket as well. Like, he would actually fit in it. Like, he is absolutely tiny. So I rock up with this bottle of champagne and a jacket. Absolutely delighted with myself. I'm waving it around everywhere. I'm like, it's got a fucking outfit.

I'm in. And do you know what he said to me? What? Thank God you finally brought something drinkable. He was texting our WhatsApp group and sending pictures of wine that Joanne would bring most in boxes. I have never bought

a box of wine to a dinner party. How dare you? I bought him a bottle because he sent me a photo after to remind me. It was Castellero del Diablo.

He's like, five pound plonk. I was like, fuck off. That's what he said. Leaning into my ears like it was undrinkable. I think they used it to be in the toilet

or something James O'Neill would drink anything at three in the morning but you know what happened with the bottle of champagne you obviously won't remember this either so you and I had a little

argument at the top of the table so they sat us together that usually happens we did an argument just keep us out of the way not really but we just had another glass of champagne

and I mean we're four glasses in and you were definitely you were only topping up. Yeah, I was topping up. So you were well on your way. And then you're like, get the champagne out of the fridge. I was like, what, the one that you brought? And you were like, get it out of the fridge now.

I was like, you get it out of the fridge. You were like, get it out now. Get it out of the fridge. I was like, you want to drink your own champagne that you brought? I was like, okay, if you want to drink it, you get it out. That's how it works. You bring drink to drink yourself.

I did. I brought a champagne I liked and I got to drink it. Exactly. And I brought a candle. Don't bring Prince to them. Don't bring Prince.

I know, but I better see him in that little jacket. He owes me big time now. He owes me an apology. Maybe if the serving wasn't so slow in the house, I wouldn't have to get my own champagne out of the fridge. Yeah, James.

By the way, Joanne wasn't even late because you were an hour late putting the food on the table. Jesus. The amount of marble. I'd say there isn't a child with a single marble left in Italy. They're so posh. Yeah. They are. They're really like. Like you say, Leaning Tower of Pisa on the way. In that house, yeah.

And they're on like the 39th floor. That's kind of dangerous. It is. Surely there's something like wrong with that. You couldn't even rock around the house in your socks. It'd be like an ice rink.

We won't be back. Yeah, we will not be back. It's actually very close to us. I thought it was way further away. But I just want to clarify, obviously I sound like you know that sounds like problematic drinking

I just want to say I'm just at the moment okay because I'm not gigging at the weekend well I wasn't gigging this weekend I've gone absolutely

I went bananas on the food Joanne I woke up with mayonnaise stuck in my lap the A doesn't work anymore can't get it out can't get it out can't get it out

she was having one of her rotten sandwiches I am you know how much I hate drinking I am as soon as the sun's out I feel like like this is why I'm like I'm going to go out drinking on Sunday

and I was out last night I had four or five glasses of champagne like love it who were you out drinking with? Spenny's mum's birthday oh granddad his dad his dad

now there's one bottle of champagne I can never say no to. And his dad, I swear, he's always trying to get me to booze because I'm a bit boring. Like, I am boring. Yeah, you are boring. And I was like,

I can't be boring at his mom's dinner. So he ordered the champagne that I love and then I was just, I'll just drink it. I can never say no to it. I think I could even drink that in a hangover. You've got an expensive palate.

I don't really. Sean, I eat stinger bars and dip tubs. You've got an expensive palate. I don't really. Like, Sean, I eat stinger bars and dip tubs. You've got an expensive palette. I don't think I have a palette. Those things you set fire to at Halloween in the garden. That's all I have. That's the only palette I have. I don't think you have a palette.

No. What? Like, yeah. Like, I wouldn't eat one of the Sambos you eat. Like, Pret is like your Michelin star. Vogue, watch yourself. Do you know what I like about Pret? Not that it's an ad for press

sometimes when you go in because I go in there when I go up to Leeds and they'll just randomly give people a free coffee or a free tea and I don't even mind if it's not me

because I just think that's really sound you just gave them free coffee what's it going to cost them nothing it's going to make that person's day though but why are they doing that like what is it

they're not just out of being nice no they're not are you their coffee's like what is it every member of not just saying to be nice. No they're not. Are you coffee's right? You know why what is it? Every member of staff apparently gets to

give away one free drink a day to a person they think is nice. Oh. Well I would like to say I've gotten that free drink

numerous times. Do you know how often I'm in Pradamanjai and I didn't even know that existed? Yeah but you're an arsehole.

I live I do actually find there is one lad I'm not going to name the location but he is so over the top like

there has to be like I like good service I don't want hysterical service like where they're hysterical and they want your life story

like it's too much Joanne you're in Pret-a-Manger not the Ivy like relax you'll get what you're given. No, what I mean is that they're so over the top.

Oh, they're too nice. Yes, they're too nice. What doesn't kill you makes you... No, wait, I'll try it again. Please don't do that. It's really bad. Why are you screeching?

I'm going to try and do a proper one. I won. I'll count you in. Okay. What doesn't cat? I did my radio show on Sunday morning, but I was home by nine o'clock,

looking after the kids, whatever. Spenny's parents came over, and I left at 12.25 to be exact right because you know how much I like being on time arrived at their door at 12.59

I was thrilled at myself yeah and so Spenny's on baby duty but they're asleep one till three and then we got home I got home about 25 past five

yeah so really he only had them for two and a half hours well Alexander was texting me Spencer was texting me Alexander's like Spencer you're actually

doing a really good job and Alexander then spends like this is really tough but I'm really I'm going to give them a bath before I give them their dinner and like a whole run down

of the day I'm like dude you're there for two and a half hours do you know how much like I'm with them for two days on my own this weekend and that's hard

with the two of them do you think I'll get one bit of a congratulations off anyone no they never do I'm sure I was there when the second Spencer was upstairs again and that's hard with the two of them do you think I'll get one bit of a congratulations off anyone? No. They never do. I was there when the second Spencer

was upstairs with Gigi. He's like he's minding Gigi. Gigi woke up and straight away he's like Gigi wants mommy.

Gigi wants mommy. Mommy. Gigi's looking for you. Mommy. Gigi has only opened one eye. Gigi doesn't know

what she wants. She wants mommy. Oh Alice was pissed off. You do you want? Why? Oh, this is, so I was down,

obviously, I have a spare key. Sorry, Alzo is Val's brother. Alzo's my little brother who lives downstairs. It's not the basement, but we have two floors,

so he lives downstairs. And I arrived. Can I tell the story, please? Okay, but he's, he's not actually we have two floors, so he lives downstairs. And I arrived... Can I tell the story, please? Okay, but he's... He's not actually pissed off at me, is he? Not really, but you're gross. Don't embarrass... What are you going to say now, Vogue?

Hold on. Don't embarrass me now. Tell the story. No. What are you going to say? No, it's not that. Not nothing that you'll care about. You did it.

That sounds really bad. What is it? Joanne. No, but Spenny is on your side and I'm on Alexandra's side. Just Spenny thinks she wouldn't give a shit about doing what you did. Whereas I'm like, I would never do that. So I walked out, I got home

and I went into downstairs and sometimes I don't know when Joanne's there or not. And the door of the bathroom just opened and all this huge fog steam comes out of the bathroom. And I looked at Jo you and I was like, what towel are you using in there? She was using my little brother's towel. I just wouldn't care.

Spenny wouldn't care, but I particularly when Spencer has a cold sore, this sounds really mean, but he is banned from the towels that I'm using. How invested, how much does he interfere with himself with his own towel? Like, I just pat myself down

and move on with my life. Oh, no. I do a whole, like, floss and everything with the towel. I get in there. I am bone dry. So I was in... So does Alza, by the way.

Vogue with them. I still don't really care. Like, I used to work in an Alzheimer's home. Like, I don't really, I just don't really care about stuff like that. Neither does Sven,

but I would hate it. What were you going to tell me about Aldo? Nothing about Aldo, but when, I have a spare key for Vogue's basement. She doesn't trust me

with the main house, but the basement, I have a key for. I don't have a key to the main house. I swear I don't. I actually don't. You have to write a letter to get one or something. I'm like, fuck's sake. I have a key to the main house I swear I don't I actually don't you have to write a letter to get one or something

I'm like fuck's sake I have a key for the basement and I'm not one to waste a house key and for those not there I'm milling around downstairs using the facilities going through the clothes having a look at the jewellery I like that though

even though I know you're a thief at the jewellery I like that though no I'm messing even though I know you're a thief I know well oh my god we'll get to that but no I do use the gym stuff

and she texted me going home in 20 minutes I thought she meant to the house in Scotland because we were due to have a call so I go in I'm showering away

because I was due to go to Manchester to not do 8 out of 10 cathedrals going down again and you broke your mug I broke my baby head I was sad about that

so I'm showering anyway and next thing I hear Vogue's voice so I open the door and it just looks so bad like up there in a head towel a body towel

she's like what the fuck are you doing here but anyway so I close the door trying to get dressed and next thing Vogue opens the door trying to get dressed and next thing Vogue opens the door

of the bathroom with Gigi and Theodore and Spencer trying to come in behind her and Vogue's like we're a crew yeah I was like Vogue I'm naked

and Vogue's like and Theodore's like let me in mummy let me in and Spencer's like hello darling and I'm like get out

I said I want some privacy in my own basement please God you see I wouldn't care about that the hell for them trying to climb into the bathroom

we wanted to have a look I know you did we wanted a peep you see that wouldn't bother me now no that wouldn't bother me but like

sure you're like you're fucking of course it wouldn't bother you, Mrs. Beep Beep. I've been living a more private life. So this week, we were having a little scroll and we saw something about OnlyFans

and Lottie Moss was going on and she said that I get to be naked, drunk and stoned at work and that's why she loves earning her money via OnlyFans and Lottie Moss was going on and she said that I get to be naked, drunk and stoned at work and that's why she loves earning her money via OnlyFans. And then Joanne and I were thinking we don't know very much about OnlyFans and I started doing a deep dive like Joanne does as well

on OnlyFans. That's your saying, deep dive, that's not mine. I love deep dive. You're rubbing off on me. I know, I know. I said to Joanne as well the other day while we were out on Sunday, you won't remember this, I was like, I think you've made me funnier. And you were like, yeah, I know. I was going to say that. Well done, Joanne. Thanks, babe. But I was

looking into it, right? And I don't know how true this is because it is Google. So, Black China supposedly earns $20 million a month from OnlyFans. That can't be true. I kind of think it could be true. Tyga earns $7.69.

Cardi B who has only posted like four things is $9.34 million a month. Like that's kind of mad to me. And she doesn't do nudity apparently. She's just like showing her nails and stuff.

Yeah. So there is this kind of assumption or story or myth or rumor that anyone can go on OnlyFans. You can just like roll around

in your pyjamas and make 60 grand a month. So there are definitely people making serious wedge on it. John, I think we're missing a beat. But they do va- well, Vogue, get the towel off. We'll do some OnlyFans.

Vogue, what do you think? You're missing a trick. You already have an account called... Flaps out. Flaps out. No, Vogue. Flaps out. You're missing a trick. You're the one painting yourself with fake tan half naked.

You're already running an OnlyTans account and just not making any money on it. You're dead right. Yes! Folks, OnlyTans. Oh my God, I'm going to do an only tans on only fans. Only tans on only fans.

I'm not sure how, Ciarán, my business partner would feel about that. I'm going to do only cans. CCTV footage of me in my room drinking canned wine and trying to get the mayonnaise

out of my laptop. Ciarán, I'd watch that. I would love nothing more than to follow you around your house for a day. Like, honestly, and I can't be the only one. I don't do anything.

Do you know what I did today? I got up, woke up at about, woke up at about six, did some work for about an hour, had a shower, got dressed, got back into bed, napped until eight, then got back out of bed

and started working again. I had had a nap by 9am. Yeah, but you were up at 6. That's like, there's no reason for you to be getting up at 6. I know. Listen, what can I say?

She's an absolute workhorse. Joanne, seriously, maybe we could start on My Therapist Ghost and meet only fans. There is a stigma around it though. There is, but it's, there is a stigma to it

if you're, if you're being, getting naked on it, there is a stigma to it. But I think we're being getting naked on it there is a stigma to it but I think we'd be Grant oh my god I actually saw something today

and now this is only speculation I have to point out so someone got thrown off Love Island very very quickly and supposedly it was because they had seen her past

OnlyFans and they weren't happy about it because it was so racy are you serious? yeah I was reading that today and I was looking up Twitter and everything like that

and there was one video i was looking for in particular i couldn't find it i think that's a bit dodgy though like it's it's you know it's mean because actually it's still the way somebody chooses to work and live their life and i think if you want to do that grand it's i wouldn't say it's for me to because like imagine me after my bumper bb picture i've nothing left in the can that That's it. I've nothing left. But you are, you have, you're, you have been seen in a big, like, I won't even do cameos fully clothed. Like, I don't know, fucking great.

Oh my God, you'd smash it on a cameo. Only fans exploded during lockdown. I actually did a tiny little shout out on my Insta about it. But I know that loads of people lost money during lockdown and stuff because they lost their jobs. But I was thinking like when things open up again, now I would say OnlyFans is like a nine to five,

but there has to be a direct correlation between men working from home and men wanking from home. So when they go back to work, there's not going to be as much money floating around OnlyFans. I did a shout out for OnlyFans as well. Go on.

Okay. This is why I feel like it's just such a, like you can't find out that much about it, which makes me even more interested in it. So there's an Irish girl who makes 10 grand a week by just sending pictures of her feet. I'd do that. Yes.

10 grand a week, pictures of her feet. There's a trainer that posts zoom links to live sessions so that's why I'm thinking Joanne we set one up and do our podcast there's a lot of

I did hear that there's a lot of training and stuff on it I just don't I just think there's a chance of oversaturating ourselves some randomer some randomer

tested it for the laugh for two weeks made 80 euro and advertised it off of fake twitter so like you can anyone can do it and make money

it's mad well so there's one guy so apparently there's an Irish guy on it and advertise it off of fake Twitter. So like you can, anyone can do it and make money. It's mad. Well, so apparently there's an Irish guy on it, this kind of Viking dude. Oh, I heard, who chops wood. Who chops wood.

He makes something like 40 grand a month. 50 grand a month, yeah, that's what I heard. My friend has one for her feet. This is what someone wrote to me.

It's a foot thing, it's just absolutely huge. It all started when she was selling a pair of Havana's on Depop and a load of guys started offering 15, 20 quid for just their foot pics. She used to get pretty creative and hold a pencil with her feet and write messages.

Oh my God, I could do that. I can pick things up with my feet. My hairdresser was on it and was making nearly two grand a month during lockdown doing videos of her smashing birthday cakes with her ass. That's quite interesting. I probably subscribed to that one. A lot of money

spent on cake though. There was another one. There was a girl on the Elaine show last week who was on it pretending to be a dog and supposedly doing very well. What would you do on it though?

What would you do? Would you do your comedy? Oh yeah, this is what you're saying. Oh no, yeah, that's the foot one again. Foot one? People love a foot. have you had a foot sucked

a toe sucked never never I have a girl it's just a bit awkward here's another OnlyFans this made me laugh

this guy wrote in going a girl I knew in college set up an OnlyFans dedicated to brushing her teeth we all thought she was going to make absolutely thousands we expected she'd be

earning a fortune from the niche fetishes nope she's currently on 40 euro a month. Oh, that's not a good one. But like, it can be anything. But you just, do you know what? I, like,

it could be a great way to earn money, but like, there is a stigma around it. There is. Well, I had a good, I set up an OnlyFans account this morning just to have a look around. You set one up? Yeah. How easy is that? Joanne's on OnlyFans, everybody morning just to have a look around. You set one up? Yeah. How easy is that? Joanne's on OnlyFans, everybody. Follow her,

at Joanne McNally Comedy. I was doing a deep dive, but I obviously haven't loaded anything up yet, but it's basically laid out like Twitter. When are you having your next drink? Something will go up then. She's going to put on that jacket from the champagne bottle.

And only that. That wouldn't fit on my foot. But it's the asses on these women. I know, I'd be desperate for a bit. Listen, we didn't put in the effort. We went to see Dan once. Once and we expected an ass. Asses?

I was like, I was going to speak to Susan Vaughan, my ass masseuse, and be like, try and fucking electrocute some abs in there. Like, I just am so jealous of those asses. I know, I'm jealous of an old boob as well, to be honest. Yeah.

Well, I know what you mean, but you mean you don't mean an old boob. Nothing is wrong with anything with old boobs. I'd rather have a young boob. Yeah, of course. I'd rather have

my old boobs. The breasts of a five-year-old, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah I was thinking about OnlyFans and obviously you know you've got kind of

a sexier vibe than me but not anymore I can't do it no I can't do it I'm just not no i'm not even spenny tell me you're not like i'm not a sexy person i don't strive to be sexy spencer told you you're not well i'm not like a sexy person like who lingers around and trots around

the beach in my bikini like i just i've no real like grace i kind of stamp along i really have to make an effort by not stamping my feet when I run. I'm not graceful. He is so cruel. He's not sexy either. You're both very sexy people. I'm sorry. To the outside world, not to each other. Yes. Well, there you go. We really fancy each other, but not because either one is sexy.

Yeah, that's marriage. I think I once saw when Svenny came over to my house when we were just dating and he came over on a motorbike. I found that quite sexy. Yeah. But that was the only time. That was years ago. Yeah.

One of my exes is like, whenever you try to be sexy, it just doesn't work. Like, you can be sexy when you're not trying to be sexy, but the second you start twerking your ass and your thong, he's like, get out. No, no, it's too much.

Even like, if you get yourself a nice little lingerie set, like, I can't do it. I'm just mortified. I'm like, clumping it's too much. Even like if you get yourself a nice little lingerie set. Like I can't do it. I'm just mortified. I'm like clumping it in my heels. Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche. I just don't believe that for a second. Like I've seen your Bare Body Vogue shoots.

They're very sexy. Oh my God, Joanna. Thank you very much. You're only championing me because I'm your friend, but I'm not. I wouldn't be very... I'll try and do my sexy walk for you later. No, you do have a wide gait. What's later no you do have a you do have a wide gait

what's that mean? what do you mean I have a wide gait? a wide gait a gait is like the structure of how yeah the width of your legs as you walk

what? do you know what a cameraman once told me when I was filming one of my docs he told me that I has anyone ever said to you that you walk like Shaggy

from Scooby Doo? how does Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? How does Shaggy from Scooby-Doo walk? Like this. Her arms really go loads. Like, that's the way I walk. I didn't realise I had a wide gait. Cheers. I think you've got a girthy gait, yeah.

Are you? Okay, fine. But you think that's bad. Once someone once sent me a screen grab of someone, of some lad's profile on Hinge. There's a section on Hinge a question it says

I'm weirdly attracted to No! and usually it's like pineapple on pizza and his was Joanne McNally like I'm a like a curiosity

like I'm Louis Theroux do you know the way some women are like it's so weird the way I think I fancy Louis Theroux that's what I was to this guy that is so offensive I had told him

but I think you deserve it after that wide gate whatever you said to me you absolute bitch Iowa man calls bomb threat because he didn't get sauce for his chicken McNuggets.

Did you see? Police say an Iowa man attempted to get revenge in his local McDonald's after he was shafted out of sauce for his chicken McNuggets. Joanne, that's fair enough.

They're so dry without the sweet and sour sauce. I completely agree with you. I had my first McDonald's in I don't know how many years the other day as part of my fear and self-loathing.

It's like, what else can I do to make myself feel like shit? And I didn't think to order sauces. And can I just say this Iowa man, I can understand the anger.

And I can't imagine you're a woman with ketchup and mayonnaise in your fridge I just don't think you have that. Are you joking do you know what I said earlier about it's all stuck down the underside of my laptop yeah yeah yeah. I am a condiment queen. Yeah I do love an old sauce fucking love a condiment anyway but he threatened to blow them up

and punch them in the face I didn't think he needed to do both that's a bit far. You blow them up. Their faces would be hanging off. Now where are they till I punch their lights in? Ridiculous stuff.

Oh, but this made me laugh then. So anyway, it went on then. It was saying, oh, they've charged Sam Grant. But then there was another case of another guy with a fake bomb threat.

A 20-year-old college student in, I'm probably not saying this right, well, just like France, called in a fake bomb threat to an airline so he wouldn't have to see his parents. So they were coming to visit him. Oh, God. And he was like, I can't be dealing. So he ran up the airline. That is awful.

Isn't that so embarrassing? My mom, like if I don't respond to one WhatsApp message, my mum will start sending me passive aggressive. I'd actually prefer my parents to think I'd been radicalised rather than think that I was just trying to get out of seeing them. It'd be less awkward if I was like, I'm just called Joanne Bin Laden now.

Joanne Bin Laden. Yeah. I'd be like it was an excuse. I'm genuinely radicalised now. And then the last one was in November 2018 a New Orleans man accused of threatening to blow up a local restaurant

again it was something like they told him they were closing anyway but then to defend himself he later told police he was referring to a bowel movement

this is why I love the funny news stories that we find every week. So I found one about an evil stepmother and basically she put it on this thing called Mumsnet

or one of those sites that they all get each other's opinion. Taking her kid to Disneyland I think her kid was like two or three and she didn't want to take the other two

the stepkids six and nine because she said first of all she didn't have enough money and she thought that they were spoiled brats and she didn't want to bring them

and she didn't see an issue with this but her partner did. What do you reckon? But do you know, there was a woman wrote in to us, I think it was when we were talking about bargains and she was saying that her dad went out one day and booked a holiday for four

and there was six in the family. Yeah. Oh God. I know, I know. But you kind of know where you come in the family. Yeah. I'd be on that holiday, I reckon. But back in the day, did they charge per kid?

I just remember us all, we all just... Theodore gets charged at full flight. He's two. I know, and he won't even sit in his own seat. He sits on my lap anyway. But I guess if you're taking a chair, you're taking a chair. I know, but they know for a fact that that kid is going to sit in your lap until he's like four.

They're just trying to rip you off. I wonder do therapy animals, do they charge for them? John, just get a dog. Are you going to get a dog? Yeah, the dog Bosco, by the way, that we met. Oh yeah, go on.

I'm going to show you the picture of Bosco. I can't believe you don't remember. You were obsessed with him. And then we were driving home and you're like, I'm going back to your house. And I was like, okay. And then like we got,

you forced me to buy a bottle of, we actually bought Prosecco and and then you were like no actually I'm going home where's the dog she's mad for that look at you there

look at you I don't think you can see yourself in the camera either oh there you are you loved that dog Bosco couldn't tell you I've never been more well a great day

was had by all I'm telling you now it's like it's because when I'm not gigging at the weekend I go absolutely bananas and it's enough

now next time I'm not gigging I'm going to go to a farm I just want to be now what are we doing on Sunday come on football might be coming home supposedly

I want wholesomeness I just want to go to a farm and eat coddle and wear an iron jumper. And stop. I'm trying to be really Irish. I just need the sea. I need, I need to just.

No, no, seriously. What are you doing this weekend? I know you're not going to do that. I know you're not going to do that. Every time I'm not gigging, I drink like I've just won an award or like got my leaving cert results. Well, you sold,

excuse me, you sold out the Palladium. You were celebrating this weekend. There's always, I think in the summer, it's very hard not to have a few drinks. The Palladium, sold excuse me you sold out the Palladium you were celebrating this weekend there's always I think in the summer it's very hard not to have a few drinks the Palladium

it's not quite sold out there's about 200 tickets left it's at low availability low availability let's sell that shit out low availability for a low brow show I am so excited

because I've never seen Prosecco Express yeah I know is this now it's not a dark comedy one it's a comedy comedy one it's a comedy comedy but I don't

I don't want to come. What? I'm joking! I was just about to say, I'm bringing Spenny's parents. I'm going. They're coming. They love you. Spenny's dad loves you.

Well, your mother, his mother will never be able to look me in the eye again. It could be anywhere, someone she's already seen. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Oh my God. That's way better than what you've seen. Was that Kelly Clarkson? I think so. You should go in the mask singer vote.

That'd be amazing. I think I should. Would you rather do the mask singer or dancer? Singer. I do not like dancing. I think because I'm such a giant, only the legs work or the upper half. Never both.

That's why DJing suits me so much because half is hidden. So I only have to move the hands. Would you do the dancing show? No. If I even have to dance on a dance floor, I have to make sure that my phone's in one hand and I have a drink in another hand so I have something to do. I can't just have three hands.

Tell Jo about the, you know, the way I'm always giving out that oh yeah do you uh so joe and she has made it and she's thrilled we got our first ever headline together and to be honest about it i'm delighted that my mother-in-law saw it i think it's a really good headline and it went a little bit like this it was from the Irish Sun. And they said, Thick as thieves, Vogue Williams reveals she once stole money from sister as comedy queen Joanne McNally says she robbed from charity box.

At least it wasn't the horses. They might as well have said, Vogue recounts fun childhood cute memory. Joanne admits to being moral deviant. Joanne is stealing from the poor again. Oh my God, tell your story about the woman about the horse. Oh my God, this poor woman. I can't believe that.

She even mailed me. She's having a terrible time. She's not, she's grand. I spoke to her, she's grand. There's an Irish, Zina O'Brien who's a photographer who was, everyone thought it was her

riding the horse. But just to clarify, let's not go, you know, I'm going to get too bogged down in this again, but that Zina, the original Zina O'Brien

didn't actually ride a horse. She had a fantasy, just to be clear. Of riding a horse. It was a very graphic fantasy though. But this Zina O'Brien. Joanne, is that a horse as your screen server?

I actually bought us both the present the other night on the internet that I'm waiting to arrive but this Irish scene O'Brien she's a photographer but one of her

biggest clients is an equestrian center now I pronounce it equestrian I think it's equestrian yeah so she's like equestrian equestrian I don't know I don't know I Equestrian. Equestrian. I don't know.

I got it into my head. You guys go, I can't shake it. It's like my mother calling a margarita a carbonara. Some things just stick. I can't wait to meet your mom. I think I'm going to like her. Oh my God, you'll love her. Oh my God, my sister-in-law said she mailed you when she was drunk. You know my brother, he's obsessed with you. His wife. And she mailed you when she was

drunk and you never wrote back. And you actively talk about how often you write back to people on this podcast. I do, I do. I do, I do. I write back to a lot of people. Just not my family.

Just not your family. You know, I'm like, they just don't respect my boundaries. Thank you very much everyone for listening you can catch more of Joanne on our OnlyFans this weekend after she's had

four or five drinks she will be on to chat to you and that is all for this week remember if you'd like to send us an email you're more than welcome to

just send it to hello at mtgmpod.com please rate, review and tell your friends as well. Okay, thank you. Bye. Bye, love you.