My Therapist Ghosted Me - Golf Life, Ghosting & Joanne's First D*** Pic

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

These podcasts tend to cover a lot, but this week seems to take in even more than usual.... Clairvoyants, horse chat (YES - even more), space, club membership, a shocking picture and the topic of ACTUAL ghosting. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com

Welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. It's the podcast that works on the basis of decency, honour, respect, morals and above all else, dignity. This week's episode we have space, spiritual spoofers and a bit of how's the tennis going joanne oh it's not great have you had a lesson to see now no we never really figured that out she was a bit slow to get back to me and I was a bit busy. Clapham Common, there's tennis courts on Clapham Common and I do, I kind of loiter there,

which isn't great when the kids are playing, it looks ropey, but I loiter there and just look at them playing tennis. I just, I'm so, I was thinking about, you know the way Jeff Bezos, Bezos,

Jeff Bezos, went into space. Yeah, for seven billion pounds. So everyone was talking about about people were giving him shit about we're going to talk about space later but space is huge right now Joe

but I was like what else could he spend that money on and people were saying he should have cured world hunger I was like well that's no crack he's obviously not going to do that

like that's like when you're hungry and your mum says you're like I'm hungry and your mum's like have an apple and you're like no I want what I want is like a chipper like bird's eye waffles're like I'm hungry and your mum's like have an apple and you're like no I want what I want is like a chipper

like bird's eye waffles with like butter pools and the little squares and stuff curing world hunger is no fun for him so I get why he's trying to dip the wick into space

but I was like another thing would be great if you could zap talents into someone what do you mean so say there was a system where I could go into the Battersea Arts Centre

for example and there was a machine there and I could choose whatever talent or ability I want and it just zaps it into me. I'd love that. I'd learn how to play tennis. I just come out knowing how to play tennis. I desperately want to play tennis, but I'm not arsed learning how to play tennis. I just want to be able to play tennis.

Do you understand? Yeah, I'll take you to play tennis though. And then you'll just, it'll be like we're just having an afternoon out. You can bring a beaker of wine. It'll just be like going to the pub, but in Battersea Park. But you're too good.

And it'll be like teaching me how to drive. I think you'd just get pissed off. I probably would, yeah. I wouldn't be able to, I wouldn't be able to be a coach of sorts to anyone, but we'll have Tamash. I have a guy called Tamash that teaches us tennis. I'd love to be able to zap sleep into yourself

because obviously yesterday I was hungover and all I wanted was to like inject myself a five hour sleep. If you could do that, how handy would that be? I can't understand how at this stage we can't switch ourselves to sleep. I don't understand. And why we can't pay for shit with our eyes.

Why can't we pay for shit with our eyes? Why do I need an actual physical passport to get on a plane? Why can't I get on a plane with my eyes? It makes no sense to me. That's in the future. I reckon that will actually happen in the future. You'll just have your eyes. It's because everyone's like, oh, the world is burning down.

So we're all just going to move to Mars. Like, that's the plan. Like, fuck the the earth let's all just move to Mars we're not all moving to Mars Vogue you'll probably get to Mars I'm definitely not going to get to Mars if the plan is to move to space I wouldn't go until there's a Pret-a-Manger up there what would you want up there Vogue yeah I'm not getting the escalator to space until there's a Pret-a-Manger up there. Okay, if you're taking Pret-a-Manger, what will I take? Coke Zero. Coke Zero. Yeah, they're obviously coming, but it's the bits that I need up there.

I'm not going to space without Coke Zero. I can't go a day without a can of Coke Zero. Not happening. Yeah. I have no interest in going to space. I have no idea why Richard Branson, why Jeff Bezos, why any of them. What's the other fella from Tesla? Elon Musk I wouldn't

even if somebody if somebody else paid my fee I still wouldn't want to go I don't I've no interest it takes too long to get there

like you just have to float around you have to do wheeze in your in your clothes I think I just don't want to go there it's not it's not the place for me

I'm scared of it and imagine imagine you fell off the spaceship and you were just floating around space forever. Like obviously you die very quickly, but like that'll be the worst way to die, just floating off and waiting for your head to explode. I'm pretty sure by the time you get up there,

they'll have all that shit sorted. There'll be just a tube system. You just like shoot up a tube, like the Rainbow Rapids in Dublin. You'd shoot up a tube. God, the Rainbow Rapids. The problem is they shoot up a tube. God, the Rainbow Rapids. The problem is they've too much money. So it's like they're just banging their dicks off each other.

Like they're literally just banging their dicks off each other. Did you see Jeff Bezos' rocket? Bezos. It's like an actual penis. Jeff Bezos accused Richard Branson of not going far enough in. He's like, you didn't go into space. Did you see that? You didn't go in far enough.

And he flew up in something called the Virgin Galactic so basically he tells a virgin I don't know it's all just so phallic they're playing tip the can with space that's what they're

just going up and tipping space and coming back down tipping space and coming back down and then accusing each other of not actually tipping the can bananas but then we have to move to Mars

we've ruined the world we're moving to Mars I don't think Mars is going to be the place that we go I've seen it I've seen it I've seen it it doesn't look great

it doesn't look like somewhere I want to spend time but yeah they all want to do that but isn't it funny that I think that Richard Branson is like broke

compared to the other two because Jeff Bezos literally has money coming out of his ears he can't even spend it he should solve the world he has now

11 million going to space I think it was 7 billion was it not probably I feel like we're burning the world down

but I also do think that there's aliens and that they are coming I don't know maybe we'll go off with them somewhere who knows they'll take the best of us

who knows okay Joe Rogan well John you're just jealous because you're not going to be coming with the aliens Vogue what you have to understand

is we are the aliens all duringogue, what you have to understand is, we are the aliens. All during the 60s, they were obsessed that we were going to get invaded by Martians. And now we're invading space. We are the Martians. It's us. We're invading the aliens.

Yes. And basically, what I've also realised, is the Scientologists, who everyone thought were fucking nutjobs who all said we were going to go off

in UFOs were actually right Jesus never came back but we are going to Mars Jesus might come back he's coming back to save me I'm going up to heaven

Jesus has ghosted us on a massive biblical level that is not happening I've actually met Scientologists and they're kind of, like they were so normal that I was shocked

when they told me they were Scientologists. And then certain things I was like, ah, that's because you're a Scientologist. Few of those things. I'd say you are ripe for occulting. I would say you are ripe for occulting. Joanne, you would be so easily led. I think you would be so easily led. I think you would be

so easily led. If they're like, come join Scientology. It's, we believe in UFOs and micro-abrasion. You'd be like, get me in there.

Joanne, you're like one of those. You'd be wearing your little tinfoil hat, getting your facial in your little tinfoil hat. That'd be bogey. Never to be seen again.

You're easily led, more so than me. But I am easily led. Do you know what? It's actually a sign of creativity. To be easily led? To be open-minded. Like, I consider myself quite open-minded.

To the point where I have gone down internet holes, where I have dabbled in conspiracy theories, because I'm open-minded. And an empath, as we know. That's why I shag the horse. I'm open-minded and an empath as we know that's why I shagged the horse I'm open-minded and an empath well Joanne the horse thing so I'm up in Scotland right I got a picture with my favorite horses obviously the amount of messages I got about the horse people being like this will be doing all kinds of things To Joanne Are you wooing it Well

I hope you blocked Joanne from these stories To be fair Vogue You were in your underwear You were posing In your underwear With the horse So like

I I paddle boarded Over to the horse It looked like You were finishing him off To be totally honest Hide the horse from Joanne like you were finishing him off, to be totally honest. Hide the horse from Joanne. Joanne McNally only raging.

She's not out for the ride. Unbelievable. But all I'm trying to do is save animals. Well, interestingly enough, I also got some messages about the shagging the horse debate from a lot of vegetarians who agreed with me. I also got some messages about the shagging the horse debate. From a lot of vegetarians who agreed with me.

The shagging the horse debate apparently has been whipped out at several garden parties as a point of discussion. I did quite like the debate. It's very interesting, especially because we're on two opposite ends of it, where you'd shag the horse, I'd eat the horse. Yeah, because I have feelings for animals. That's not what, you don have feelings for animals you don't care what about the cows would you shag the cow when have I ever eat do you not eat me I have no respect for them I don't rate chickens I just they're shit crack they don't have any personalities I eat chickens nothing else that's it but you know what I have to say I agree with you they're the only animal like I feel bad

when I'm eating cow I feel bad when I'm eating pig I still do it but chickens they're just a bit meh it's like a fish

I would never same as fish no respect for them I would never eat anything that I think would be happy to see me come home

in the evening and I just don't think a chicken would give a shit when I came into the house speaking of pigs how's Gigi she's the bat maggot it's Gigi's birthday it's Gigi's birthday today Gigi she's so sweet I feel bad because Theodore's birthday right we had this huge massive setup on our balcony and like this big amazing cake and she's birthday is just not going to be the same there's not a balloon to be seen um i have booked soho farmhouse for us though

don't worry joanne um no it's just different i suppose with your second and as well we're up in scotland so she's getting a cake everyone's brought her a present and that's kind of it and she's got a few really cool outfits the truth is she's not going to remember she's not going to remember anything she's not going to remember anything until she's 11 or 12 nah you remember from like

7 or 8 I don't I remember because I have photos of like doing sports days for my birthdays and stuff but like I don't remember

I remember New Kids on the Block singing to me for my birthday well I told you that before where they just swapped in some Dublin person going Joanne for the New Kids on the Block singing to me for my birthday. Well, I told you that before, where they just swapped in some Dublin person going, Joanne, for the new kids on the block

singing me happy birthday thing. Did you ever see it? But I don't remember actual having parties or anything. I remember from about seven. She's fine. She's got nice presents, but I still feel kind of bad because she will look back at the pictures

and be like, why did he get that? And I didn't get this. But you know what? I have a different approach to Gigi because Theodore is a bit whingy he goes around you know that voice

he started doing I wanna go like that's the voice he does I don't want that for Gigi so Gigi's getting less so she's not going to be as spoilt as Theodore

it's a game plan that is a good plan let's see which turns out better and then the third I'll get the third one perfectly right I did see poor Theodore absolutely face planted himself on his scooter the other day, which I witnessed. Do you remember?

Like he really went down. And I've noticed, do you know how a child looks to their parents to see whether they should cry or not? Yeah. So Theodore, like, he really went down now, right? Outside Bunga Bunga. Do you remember? Boom, face plant. And he's like,

and he looks up and folks like, no, you're grand. He's like, you're grand. You just tell them they're grand and they believe they're grand. Yeah, but you caught us. I had come so I had taken Theodore swimming

and any parent knows I happened to get into the swimming pool even anyone getting into the swimming pool getting your hair wet swimming with the child like it's not it's annoying it's just annoying to have to go and do

so I'd taken him swimming he whinged the entire half an hour in the pool to the point where I was a little bit embarrassed and then we're going home and the whole way home he was doing that and then he fell outside bunga bunga and I turned around because he'd fallen and there was just Joanne standing there with a look of disgust like what's happened here and people were just like oh I'm just not you like I would I'm just not used to I said it before I was just not used to, I said it before,

I was writing stand-up about it, the stress of watching a child learning to walk, like wobbling around the place, like a drunk person. I just couldn't, I couldn't, it's too stressful for me.

I'm not used to it. Yeah. I'd have the thing wrapped in bubble wrap the whole time. I'd be terrified. You just have to let them get on with it.

Like, imagine, oh, I'm so itchy. There's so many horse flies up here. That's why that horse was wearing the fancy outfit, by the way, Joanne. Do you remember you get your report cards

and mine were always like, easily distracted, needs to concentrate. And I remember every, like my mom stopped going to parent-teacher meetings cause she'd come home crying. And I'd just be like, what have they said to her? What? Yeah, she'd come home crying. And I'd just be like, what have they said to her? What? Yeah, she'd come home crying.

But I would write that on your, I'd write that on your card to this day. Like, I think that's a very accurate description of your personality, to be fair. I've got news. I got my first dick pic. Oh. I've got news I got my first dick pic Oh It is so

disgusting Joanne Do you regret asking for them? No not at all It's not really It's It came from It came from a Russian

Spam bot account And it's a micro penis So it basically just looks like Kind of a lump of blue tack In a bag of hair That's That's exactly what it looks like kind of a lump of blue tack in a bag of hair that's that's exactly what it looks like yeah that is so accurate oh my god sickening yeah it's like literally it's kind of bluish it's literally like blue tack in a bag of hair

a bag of like cat hair like oh did you write back but anyway as i say it's the thought that counts yeah i sent back a lot of squirty emojis i was like i can't believe that's your first oh i'm looking at it now it is so it looks like a belly button an outie belly button it does it looks like incredibly, if his legs weren't placed the way they're placed, it does actually look like an incredibly hairy stomach. How would you even, I mean, you couldn't even suck it. Like you, oh, sorry, Jo. You couldn't even tempt it out of its face.

Like, is it in? Be like, is it in no it's it's in you like it's inverted it's in you it's not in anyone it's never going to be in anything else or anyone else i'm not gonna take this out of micro penis size because i believe you know you know a lot of men probably struggle with it of course they struggle do you not remember howard stern did this thing i think it's on youtube howard stern is this radio presenter in america and he did a whole thing on micro penises and all these men came in with these micro penises and i like it does make you feel so sorry for them because some of them are so small like a little nubbin that like yeah it wouldn't work you wouldn't be able to have sex and you probably wouldn't like it's mad and you i love tiny thing like I love I'd love you know like micro pigs you're like oh my god they're so cute or uh micro

microwaves you're like oh that's so handy micro penis no no no but that's so sad for guys that have it you know you can get penis operations I did a t well it was a pilot for a tv show and there's loads of different ways you can make your willy bigger. There's the suction things. You can get operations. Like there's loads of different things that you can do. You can get it stretched. Stretched.

And you have to wear this special stretching thing. Yeah. Stretch it like a shoe. Take you to the shoehorn place. What have you been doing for the week? Besides getting dick pics. Thank you. I did a gig in The Ned.

Yeah. Which is a members club. You know my history with members clubs. No one wants me. You just need to give it another push, Joanne. I tried. No one wants Soho House. No club.

So I'm surprised I can order a club sandwich in this country. No one wants me in their club. So I got booked to do the net. Lovely gig. And I said to my agent, I was like, here, will you ask them if they'll try to win a membership? No. N-O. They're basically like, you can come in, you can do your little clowning, you can do your little jokes,

you can juggle for the rich people, and then we'll literally fucking sneak you out the back kitchen. I'm surprised they let me go. I'm surprised he didn't flush me down the toilet to get rid of me I'm surprised he didn't just go flush me out by the sewerage systems

I want to be in a fucking club Soho House are like we're full of members I'm not being bad we've just had a global pandemic

surely there's been some sort of clear out like check in to see my friend Steve is in Soho House he doesn't drink they're making no money off him we've just had a global pandemic. Surely there's been some sort of clear out. Like, check in. To see, my friend Steve is in Soho House. He doesn't drink. They're making no money off him.

Yeah, Joanne. I'd be in there day in, day out. You would get, do you know what? I feel bad for you because you'd get

so much use out of it. I never even use my membership there. But I can't let it go because once you let it go, I could be in your situation, Joanne, and that's not a place

I want to be. Exactly. I'd be like one of those elderly people do you know this it's actually quite sad you know those alcoholics I'm not saying this isn't I'm not talking about the drink I just mean I would use it as my office but the alcoholics in pubs who like drink themselves to death on a particular bar still and then when they die the pub put up like a plate on the stool being like this was Nigel's stool which is basically just this is where Nigel slowly killed himself here's a plaque to remember

where he literally slowly like drank himself to death that's what I'd get in Soho House if they let me in I'd get a plaque

on one of the seats they probably know that they probably know you'll use it too much but you'd use the gym you'd use the office god You'd use the office. God, it's a nightmare for you. And it's, so I think it's about two grand a year.

I think my plan was to go a day. It's not even two grand a year. It's 1,400 for every house membership, by the way. 1,400, 1,400. I'd go and stand outside and like say to lads going in, being like, 1,400, do you know what else you could get for 1,400? Talk them out of their memberships and be like,

in Soho, you can go around the corner you get two rub and tugs a day for that cost two rub and tugs I've talked to the man

in the alleyway two rub and tugs give me your fucking membership I'm sick of it I'm sick of it I'll try and get you in I'm sick of it I'm sick of it I'll try and get you in

I'm thinking of joining Weight Watchers Just fucking To get accepted somewhere Or UKIP Would UKIP take me Joe? Would they? I just want to be accepted

To somewhere I just want to be part of a club I have a Costa Coffee Membership card That's all I have That's all you're going to get by the looks of it. That's a shithole.

Spenny went for a membership somewhere and they were worried about my use of social media. I don't even know if he's gotten in yet. But if he doesn't get in, it's because of me. They're like, we're concerned about your wife's

use of social media. You're not allowed to post in these clubs. You're not allowed to take pictures. You get in trouble. They're not that much fun, Joanne, let's be honest. That was the thing in the net. They're like, you can't take out your laptop. You can't do all this shit.

But these kids, like, these are like people in their 20s in the net. Like, because whatever it's so how house is kind of young, feels a bit cool. The net is, it used to be like it used to be a bank it was for bankers a bar down the bottom which is in a vault like an old vault

like it's old money yeah yeah yeah Soho House feels like it's kind of newer kids but this is like oh but these these kids

and they're like Carl Donnelly was the MC he said what do you do and she's like I'm in property and me and Carl were talking about it after he said it on stage

when you say I'm in property we're all in like I'm in property now we're all in property but when you say I'm

in property it means hi I'm fucking loaded yeah but you are like there's too much shit talking as well

like I don't think you'll be making any friends in the members clubs what do you think I will I'm such a K, but you are like... I thought I got a rich man out of it. There's too much shit talking as well. Like, I don't think you'll be making any friends in the members clubs. What do you think? I will. I'm such a cling on. I'd make loads of friends. I want to mingle. You want to mingle.

I'm single. You said you're going to go on a date with that guy, remember? No. Spencer's mother suggested that we're in the same room at the same time. She was actually very wise, Jane. And she said, don't make it a date. Just invite, get him to,

get Fogan's man to invite him over for dinner and then I'll just like be there. But don't tell him anything about it. Let's not come to our house. Let's actually make a venture out. We'll go out and there'll be a few people there.

And yeah, that's probably a better option actually. I think you should get on really well. I'm really interested in doing this. Oh no, it's going to happen. It's a plan. I'm getting back out there now.

It's time to break the seal on the hymen, Jo. Oh, Joanne. Someone of a legal... Oh my God. Someone of a legal age. Joanne just said hymen. She said hymen. She went there.

You used to have a hymen before those fucking kids ripped it out of you. Excuse me? Theodore came out of your hymen before those fucking kids ripped it out of you excuse me it's been peter came out of your hymen peter literally his head came out through your hymen like that and yeah and what did maria say about my hymen that it looks right she said well done on your vagina mummy mot i'm in there on friday i'm the um my fanny physio i call it but but they're like will you do a message because it's their birthday or something and I was like

yeah sure like mummy MOT completely childless I'm like guys five stars highly recommend happy birthday to mummy MOT I might just borrow a baby

for the video so I don't look like a complete lunar take Shiji MOT it's grand. Thanks, Benny. Sorry. There's Benny. Bring me some water.

Pass the service. That is. Good boy. Good boy! Vogue, tell me about your week. Well, my week, I have been in Scotland, which I absolutely love. I went, do you know what my day was yesterday, right? I got up, I went paddle boarding. I went and pet the horses, obviously, Joanne. I didn't post any more pictures in fear that you would start getting off on them.

I went wakeboarding. Vogue, none of this is as interesting i want to hear about the clairvoyance oh i don't care about paddleboarding i forgot about the clairvoyance now this woman right so i absolutely love a spiritualist or like anyone that can read into my future all that stuff there's an amazing girl penny as well that i always use that you should actually use and i'm going to her next week because i can't get enough of this shit uh but there was this woman and jemma our friend was like to me i have hunted this woman down for years you can only get her through a recommendation she's not online she doesn't do anything she doesn't like try and advertise herself and she's

basically like a clairvoyant for people of la she works a lot over there and she was telling me that she feels really bad because she has to like break it to people that their dreams aren't going to come true because she can see it because she's a clairvoyant. And I had the chance to look at you. She's this absolute spoofer. I forget what her name is now. And I'm not going to say it anyway because you're going to be mean. But she told me everything I wanted to hear and more. She told me one of the things she said i'm gonna have another baby and it will be with the same husband of course she told

oh fucking wow how did she predict that what a genius are you high joanne just because you know what i'm gonna get you to talk to penny the other girl that i know and you're actually gonna be really shocked you're gonna love it some people into it. Some people aren't into it. They're con artists. I disagree. It's magic for adults. It's like they're literally, they're pulling,

instead of pulling rabbits out of hats, they're pulling dead rabbits out of hats. That's literally all they're doing. Joanne, the FBI sometimes use them to find out where the body is and stuff. So how do you, how, what do you think about that then?

For the amount of, do you know what it is okay so there's a book called Paranormality sorry to go into the data now but it has to be said it has to be said there's this guy

Richard Wiseman he put up this pile of money like a million pounds or something if anyone can actually prove that they're psychic no one can prove

that they're psychic for all the ones that randomly find a body the amount of ones that aren't finding anything what they do is this is their strategy they tell you everything

okay so they're like Vogue you're an introvert but you're also an extrovert Vogue you like going out but you love staying in

and then it's confirmation so you hear what's true to you and you go oh my god I do love staying in how does she do it have you ever seen them

do readings it's so funny is anyone dead has she do it? Have you ever seen them do readings? It's so funny. Is anyone dead? Has anyone here died? Has anyone here ever seen a dead person? Has anyone heard of death? Is anyone planning to die? Is anyone not dead?

Someone's coming through. Someone's coming through. They always act like this dead body is like buffering. It's like, what the fuck? Is the Wi-Fi not? I don't get it. Why aren't they just there? Why are they coming through?

Why are they buffering through? It's a load of wamp. Well, Jemima, maybe i won't buy you that uh meeting with penny i believe it i love it and even though i'd love to be plenty even even if it's bullshit i love just sitting there listening to them especially when it goes your way and she also told me that i'm not gonna die anytime soon which made me feel so much safer because I'm terrified of dying so you know what what did it cost me 150 pounds yes it might seem like a lot of money but I now don't have that absolute fear that I'm going to die tomorrow I know I've got a few years left so I'm thrilled about that then she also told me that uh she actually went she died years ago and came back on the operating table so she told me all about

where I'm going to next so actually I'm quite excited for the afterlife 150 quid well spent 150 quid to tell you you're not going to die in the next year I could have told you that for free about you're not going to die in the next year Joanne but you couldn't tell me that for certainty whereas she can this is this is why I'm telling you you're ripe for a cult. This is why I'm telling you. John. This is why I'm honestly telling you. These people were actually able

to do this stuff. They'd be running the fucking world. Sorry, but if my dead relative wanted to speak to me, they'd come to the house. They're not going to go to Madame Susan in Georgia Street Arcade

she did say my dad came through right did he that's convenient your dad came through right of course he did where did he go

is she in LA your dad went to LA did he no she was in London at the time but I was basically so my nanny she was like an older woman is. But I was basically, so my nanny,

she was like an older woman is bringing him through. He doesn't want to come through. And then he got there and he basically was saying, why am I here? This is ridiculous. I don't want to be here. And that sounds very like my dad, just saying. And then he went off to play golf.

And yes, my dad likes playing golf. So Joanne, how did that happen then, Joanne? Oh my God, you're right. It's a miracle. My dad likes playing golf. So Joanne, how did that happen then, Joanne? Oh my God, you're right. It's a miracle. These people, do you know how much data is out there in the world that you don't even know

you're putting out? We're like the data generation. There's so much out there. And like Vogue, I'm not being bad, but it's not like your life is in any way hard to find out about.

I didn't tell her my second name. Of course, as if everyone in your life doesn't play golf. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't tell her my name of course as if as if everyone in your life doesn't play golf Jesus I can't believe I don't play golf yet you live a golf life come on it's like me going for a reading and someone's like is there is there wine someone drinking yeah someone's having a fucking drink like it's all over my Instagram these are not hard facts to find out

yeah someone's having a fucking drink like it's all over my instagram these are not hard facts to find out madam susan no i'm glad i'm glad it's nice to feel like there's it's not people want to feel like there's a plan for themselves that's why they go to these things yeah but when they start saying that they're like speaking to dead people and all it's like you're in your hell i know but you know what you know what my thing about this is i did a whole tv show about uh the afterlife it was called uh years ago and I know that like sometimes I've been to so many of these people now that sometimes it's like ah that's kind of bollocks that's bullshit and I don't believe them all but my one thing from it was even people who are like who are going through a hard time who've just lost somebody or something

for 100 quid it brings them such a sense of joy and peace. And it's like, you know what? Even if it is bollocks, at least they feel so much better for 100 quid. But when I did that show, oh my God, the abuse I got off a certain group of people that I told you about. About clairvoyants and stuff like that. But why were they, I remember that group of people, but why were they going mad at you about that? Because I was promoting a clairvoyant by doing my um by doing the tv show uh something worrying happened my mom she started itching around and asking how to find our podcast i know we've gotten away with it for a series but i just

i think she's gonna she's gonna click it she's gonna find out about it just tell her it's over tell her we quit tell her we got fired. So no more bitching about Sandra on the pod, okay? My poor mother. My friend Ashley rang me the other day. She's like, your poor mother. I was like, my poor mother? What do you mean?

She's like, yeah, poor mother. She said she met my mother on the pier. My mother's like, Joanne's got a great work ethic. Now, I don't agree with everything she says. And she was like, no shit. It'd be kind of weird if we did to be honest

Pat I don't agree with everything she says that's her trying to be saying basically saying like I need to distance myself from Joanne

as a person like as a person like I accept she's my daughter but Joanne does your mom go to your gigs yeah and she says

things like I liked your costume. Or she'll say things like, I couldn't really hear, my hearing aids, I couldn't really hear anything. Everyone's, people seem to like it. You know, everything she can possibly say without saying, that was fucking horrific.

Don't ever put me through that again. She's just like... I like your little costume i mean what can she say i know she's not gonna go i love that cum joke at the end you know what i mean god i wouldn't even take my mom to your gig not a hope oh by the way spenny's parents do want to go to your gig i'm sorry joanne it's out of my hands i know i know jane's never gonna look me in the eye again and she really was she she's like Mary Poppins she was taking with you last week as well she really loved you last week she was like Joanne was just she's just got a lot to say yeah and she was really taking with you so once you might as well bask in it because as soon as she goes to your gig you're out I've seen you in in Africa anymore she's like she's like

Africa what is it you're one of the sound of music what's the what's the what's your one of the sound of music Jo

Jo you're supposed to be googling this stuff like live like the minority report like getting all the information up for us live Julie Andrews

Maria Maria yeah that's what Jane's like she's just this kind of like just this gorgeous gentle loving woman yeah I agree with you Maria Maria yeah that's what Jane's like she's just this kind of like just this gorgeous gentle loving woman

yeah I agree with you I might put them at the very back like in the lobby yeah she'll be on now in a minute

stay out here yeah yeah we're just feeding people through we're just feeding oh it's over okay

sorry about that Jane back in the cab Jane back in the car the car's here the car's here what are you doing next week I think I want to go on holidays are you serious

yeah sure I'm fully booked but we were drunk the other night we booked in St. Barts for Jan yeah yeah yeah that'll be fun that's going to be amazing but we're going to go

in low season yes yeah so I can afford to go well we talk about our topic so we did a call out this week which was actually a very I'm surprised I loved this call out we did a call it all about ghosting I'm fascinated by ghosting because I just think I've been ghosted Joanne I cannot believe you ghost people that is so mean I have been both the ghosted and the ghosty my positioning on ghosting is I wouldn't ghost anyone substantial in my life but nor do I want to be broken up with by a lad I'm not even going out with I don't need that rejection In my life So if we've been on A couple of dates Just disappear into the ether

I'll get the hint And it goes both ways Get the hint Disappear into the ether Dissolve out of my vestas But just say here Listen I'm not into this And that's it

I was going out with somebody For nearly six months And I got ghosted And I'm still angry about it This is me Three years married I know But six months is a lot

I would never Like Six months is a lot i would i would never like what i'm six months is a lot and that was a prick move that that lad did i'm worrying i went on the date with this guy matched with him on an app right totally fancy the arse of him i was like he's absolutely gorgeous loads we're mastering mastering mastering back and forth back and forth we arranged to meet he turned up immediately it was very obvious we did not fancy each other he was quite camp which I couldn't read in the in the photos and I'm just not into camp lads he wasn't into my personality because literally I said two things and he kind of recoiled I think I can't anyway he physically

recoiled it was like it was it was like it was like two complete it was like Dolly Parton and fucking Alsatian on a date. It was just never going to happen. One of the things I said to him was, I was like, I'm a big fan of ghosting. If a date doesn't go well the next day, there's no need to kind of address it. And he was like, I can't believe you would do that. I think he said something about me having no moral fibre

something like that anyway we had one drink legged it the next day he sends me this message he trolled me basically he was like

hi Joanne listen I know this will make you very uncomfortable and you'd rather we just left it but I just want to say the respectful thing

to do really nice meeting you best of luck with your career blah blah blah I was like, fuck off. Like,

we had one date. That is so nice though. He did it to make a show out of me. Do you know what, he did it to be nice to you so at least he knows that it's done and finished and I thought,

I think that's very respectful. I actually asked Benny this as well because I would have thought he would have been a supreme ghoster in his time. He's never, he's ghosted a friend so there's that thing

of friend ghosting that I never even like imagine being ghosted by your mate that'd be awful have I ever been ghosted yeah it would be awful I've heard it happen

a couple of times yes Benny's done it to a person as in but ghosting is also very subjective like I probably think I've been ghosted by men

who I haven't been ghosted by I just never got the hint until they literally cut me out do you know what I mean it shouldn't be a hint oh my god I've been ghosted by men who I haven't been ghosted by I just never got the hint until they literally cut me out do you know what I mean it shouldn't be a hint oh my god I've been ghosted you can't ghost me

because I just turn up to your house Rona who is our friend who's a therapist and is here now it's because people who don't like conflict or who don't want

like that whole thing of like oh like the awkwardness of the conversation that's why they do it 100 and that's why i ghost i can't stand any form of confrontation it makes me want to die inside i got a message right off a girl been ghosted by a dickweed first was great crack made plans to meet again good chats in the week following week got tipsy texting me said come over me jumps on a train while sitting on the train he says no can't do it blocks me and never hear from him again me still on the train on the way to his

then needs to get a taxi home 40 fucking quid later that's that is awful it's so mean and rude but he obviously just freaked out because he was like oh god actually i just don't want like i just don't want that and it makes you my thing about ghosting is right it's like what the fuck did i do what did i like that time i got ghosted i still am like i'm brilliant what the hell could i have done i know why did it happen this person said yes by someone i was dating for eight weeks we had a weekend away together then silence see that would make me I'd be like did I fart in my sleep what happened 100% yeah you did that's what happened I spoke to him that is what happened have it on good authority it was relentless sleep farting was the problem

um I was goes to buy a guy I went in a few dates with a month later we were at the same party so after a few wines I waved up to him and shouted BOO in his face I love that I went on a date with a guy in Phoenix Park for drinks questionable choice of location admittedly the date started off well, he brought a picnic blanket and drinks, but it rapidly declined

he asked to play a game called task and question when i corrected him and said so truth of there he got very defensive anyway i agreed to play the game and he tasked me to do a trust fall and dropped me he then dared me to stare into his i know he then dared me to stare into his eyes for 30 seconds he even set a timer and kept a straight face the whole time honestly i don't know why i stayed i just hate rejecting people and the final task that just broke me was he dared me to hug him for 30 seconds i don't know if he read some guru blog for how to make a girl trust you or something but then i had to ghost him after that and that is acceptable to ghost somebody like that totally 100 there is some quiz you can do that's like 30 questions to make you fall in

love with each other have you heard of this joe anyway so this one made me laugh as well this girl basically ghosted this guy wasn't feeling it he was going on holiday for two weeks the following day i just thought sure i might as well just ghost him a couple of weeks later he started sending me abusive messages having a go at me for ghosting which then led to multiple late night angry voicemails from him calling me a slag while making ghostly the first line i wish i'd done that i wish i'd done something joanne maybe i'd be over it then no but the worst ones are being ghosted by a friend i've got loads of them and people are like devo here's another one so about eight years ago i met a bloke on a night out completely The worst ones are being ghosted by a friend. I've got loads of them and people are like, Devo. Here's another one. So about eight years ago, I met a bloke on a night out.

Completely platonic and didn't see him that way, but we clicked and he became a good friend. A year later, we were smashed one night and he declared his undying love for me. I was hammered and we slept together. Waking up the next day and realizing what happened, I was like, Jesus, fuck, fuck, fuck. He then says, I'm genuinely so happy it was you that took my virginity. We were 24 at the time about a week later I ghosted him I look back now

and I feel awful but fuck that was next level entrapment oh they're my favourites 24

that's nice Christian this one sometimes people just send me shit in the DMs which has nothing to do with anything but they're just really funny yeah I was like I don't know if this counts because

so basically her friend DM'd this kind of bougie plant shop going hey guys are you open today and they're like hi Kimberly we're closed due to restrictions we are still doing deliveries and she went okay do you have a price availability list I'm looking for a medium-sized heist plant with a pot something like a fiddle leaf. Now, I have no idea what a fiddle leaf is. Anyway, they never wrote back to her. Her friends that she sent, she got really cocky. And she went to another flower shop, bought a cheaper version,

sent them a picture in the bougie DM with a photo of the plant, went, don't worry, huns. They wrote back, huns they wrote back huns are you quite serious what on earth made you think it was necessary to send us that sarcastic passive aggressive message

this is a fucking flower shop were you honestly that mad that we didn't reply to your vague request for a house plant we are very happy for you and your new fiddle leaf hands down

the strangest message we've ever received and then blocked her that's all for this week remember if you'd like to send us an email you're more than welcome to just send it to hello at mtgmpod.com

yeah and also it would be lovely if you'd listened this far do us a solid and rate and review and subscribe. Only if it's a good review. No bad vibes. Thank you.