My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "15 DVD's and a pillow..."
Episode Date: August 23, 2023This week... Instagram "explore" page muck, other internet muck and OF COURSE, another email about a cheating husband. Obvs.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comP...lease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player Original Podcast.
Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me Joanne McNally and her Vogue Williams and himself Joe.
Vogue was 10 minutes late for this record which means I'll be leaving 10 minutes early.
I would like to dispute that and say I was
eight minutes late
for the record.
I'm having one of those days
that like,
so I had a shoot this morning
and I was talking to
Karina who styles me
and she had dropped
this stuff for me
to bring to the shoot.
Not just like a bag.
I forgot nine
bags of stuff.
Nine.
Walked out the door,
got to the shoot
and I was like,
oh, where's all the stuff?
And I was like,
oh my God, I was meant to bring the stuff. And I just, I was like, Sven, all the stuff and I was like oh my god I was meant to bring the stuff and I just I was like 20 you're gonna have to put it
in an uber and he's like do you mean like all of this stuff like how did you forget all of it
I did feel like leaving the house to be honest yeah sometimes you know you're like a hold on a
second I was supposed to bring a child or something. I forget shit all the time. I have a memory like a sieve.
So there's no judgment here.
Also, I feel like all you do is shoot at the moment.
I just feel like you're constantly getting glammed and taking photos.
What's going on?
Yeah, I'm busy at the moment.
I've got a TV show coming out called Spooked.
The one that you were, like we were talking about the whole time.
Yeah, so that's coming out.
Exciting times ahead.
So doing lots of bits and bobs around that
yeah
and then
I've just got loads
on at the moment
but this week
I'm
I'm closing the door
on Wednesday
I'm going
I'm just like
I'm taking the rest of the week off
so I'm trying to
ram everything into
three days
gotcha
well I'm still on my
I'm still on my holidays
you deserve it
I know.
You do.
I'm being very good to myself.
Today, what time is it?
The pod's at one.
Alan woke me at half twelve.
He's like, are you not supposed to get up?
And I was like, oh yeah, I did.
So I just kind of rolled it.
And obviously I knew I had to put mascara on
because I knew Vogue was going to be arriving in
from a fashion shoot again.
Whereas I've got like porridge on my face.
Now come here to me.
What time were you going to bed
after you'd be waking up at half twelve?
Because that would never happen
in a hundred thousand years for me.
I know.
I know.
I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
I think it's the country air.
Like don't get me wrong.
And also,
I have to be fully transparent.
It was a gorgeous day yesterday so I was like
drinking wine in the sun all day do you know what I mean but you see that would the wine does the
wine and sun really knock it out of you if you're having issues sleeping up your anxiety by spending
the day drinking wine and then you will fall asleep but you'll have the fear the next day
I kind of disagree with that if I've been drinking the day before it's like my body knows and regardless of like
how much I want to sleep
bing
after four hours
I'm awake
and you can forget
naps
never in a million years
because I nap
when I'm hungover
I'm awake
and my body wants to be like
do you know what
you fucked yourself up
and you're going to live with this
for as long as I can possibly
make you live with it
yes but you're missing out
on the sunstroke part
that I also advised
oh okay sunstroke and wine yeah also advised. Oh, okay.
Sunstroke and wine.
Yeah.
Is that all day
with no SPF
like a mad bitch?
Sunstroke is very essential
to that part.
We all got it
in Irish college
every summer.
They'd all just let us
out into the fields
for hours a day.
SPF, I don't think
it was invented
by the 90s in Ireland.
We were all just
running around
getting boiled
like hams.
I never forget it.
I remember going on holidays once
and I was in
Spain,
obviously,
and I put all my suntan on
and then went
like somebody on the beach
and I didn't know
because no one taught,
no one taught me
how to put SPF on.
I never put it on my eyelids.
Oh.
It just looked like
I had a strange eyeshadow on.
That would be really sore.
I think that I really try and hold back telling stories about Spencer.
But he was in South Africa.
And it was back in the days when he was drinking.
No, actually, he was in Tanzania.
Back in the days that he was drinking.
And he said that the worst sunburn he's ever got was he fell asleep in the sun sun in South Africa after having a few drinks and he woke up and he could barely move and he had to go to hospital
because his sunburn was so severe yeah he ruined himself and he's the kind of person that can be
out in the sun with no sunglasses nothing really matters but like he said he really battered
himself I can't wait for the story when this comes out I know I know and now I'm being called a liar it's like
I don't really know
what do I snap back with
I just like
I'm not
this is what happened
right
the doctors did think
it was cold
so it turned out
it wasn't
we all have a bacterial
infection in our stomach
I'm still fucking
dying with it
and that's it
there's no lying
what
there was
oh I missed all this
oh no
now it's coming out
that like I'm lying
and I embellish things
because of what I said
in the pod
it's like no
the doctors said
that they thought
it was that
but actually it turned out
we have a bacterial infection
in our stomach
oh and excuse me
I stand by my right
to embellish
at all times
yeah
so I have chlamydia
I have chlamydia
sometimes stories
need a little bit
of an upper
do you know what I mean
but that one actually
didn't need an upper
it had its own upper
but it just kind of
I feel like sometimes
things are written
to entice
negativity
and negative comments
around me
oh yes
you can't knock me down
bitch
I would agree
wholeheartedly
in other news yeah I would agree wholeheartedly.
In other news,
I would like to let you guys know that I have not vaped in two days.
Good for you.
Did I tell you about your man on TikTok?
TikTok?
TikTok?
TikTok?
You look like me when you do that.
Strap a saddle on me off I go
yeehaw
so your man on
TikTok
again like I don't know what my algorithm
served me just really
sad stuff like organ donors that kind of thing
but he is
like gotten out he's got using the like
you know the like taser going to the throat
thing what's that called you know to get the noise out yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's like don't vape it's just videos of him and then
he turns around and he's got he's like he's got no throat i mean i'm sorry but like i just i think
like someone tried to tell me a story about people vaping today and i'm like i just don't think
like my cousins one of my cousins was on three vapes a day three of those alfars a day and he
gave up like and it was amazing but like,
I'll tell you,
do you want to know
how I gave up?
So,
I ran.
Two days ago,
yeah.
Okay,
okay.
Do you want to know
my secrets or not?
You're sober 48 hours,
go on.
Yes,
tell me your secrets.
Every time I see one
in a drawer,
I'm like,
well I have a little bit
and no one will know.
You shouldn't leave them
around the house.
I know,
but I'm in a competition
with myself. So basically, the reason that I don't like them around the house. I know, but I'm in a competition with myself.
So basically the reason that I don't like them anymore
is because I forgot a vape.
I was at a wedding,
but I'll go into that in the main pod.
I forgot my vape
and Spenny actually stole the groom's vape
and gave it to me
and it was pineapple flavor
and it was so disgusting
that I was like,
anytime I think about vaping,
I remember that taste in my mouth and I'm like, oh my God, that was so disgusting. I'm not doing that anymore about vaping I remember that that taste in my mouth and
I'm like oh my god that was so disgusting I'm not doing that anymore yeah no that's good yeah it's
like when when I used to suck my sorry when I used to suck my thumb I still suck my thumb but now
it's not as common as it used to be my dad do you ever do you ever remember stop and grow yes
they used to put it on kids nails to stop them biting it so my dad used to like douse my thumb in stop
and grow in the in the hope stop you i just sucked through that shit like a pro oh my god like because
obviously gg sucks her thumb and i don't know how we're gonna stop her she started those she doesn't
you don't need to start you don't need to start my i'm fine look at me i'm fine 40 year old thumb
sucker yeah but oh i don't need to do it privately now it would be very rare
that I do it publicly
I don't need to do it
privately
Gigi though
started twizzling her hair
as she was sucking her thumb
and Hadley came over
today our hairdresser
and he came over
and he was like
Gigi has
why has Gigi
got a mullet
and I was like
I don't actually know
why she has it
and then he saw her
doing it
and he was like
she's ripping all her hair out
so she had this
full on mullet
we had to chop
most of her hair off and now I'm trying to stop her doing it but she twizzles it
so much sometimes she'll cry because her whole hair gets stuck around her finger and she can't
get it out okay something really embarrassing happens um you know when someone like
you know when someone Like Share your shame
You know when someone gets out their Instagram
And they're like
Oh here
And they're gonna go and show you something
Someone's explore page came up
And it was like
Fucking tits
And ass
And it was this person
That was like
What
Like
Like
Shouldn't be looking at that kind of jazz
Like
In their 60s
Like
Man or woman
It was a man
But I just thought
Like how embarrassing
And I don't
Like I'm hoping
He didn't notice
Because I didn't say
Anything about it
Like what do you say
Oh god
Your explorer page
Is kind of strange
I think it says a lot
About a person
No?
It's so
It just means
That he didn't tidy it up
No
It's
No
The explorer page
Right
I'm going to go look at mine
Oh sorry Do you mean on instagram
yeah oh i see mine is like all like celeb stuff and it is um the girl who swept into sea like
mine is not embarrassing like i'm okay with people opening my explorer page but like how
did you get on your explorer page oh here you go to the search Oh yeah mine's kind of makeup
Jewellery
A lot of memes about
Dancing videos
Yeah if he doesn't deserve you at your best
Who cares when you're
Not there that kind of thing
Oh like don't do it
You'll be okay don't worry life is looking up
Yeah dogs lots of dogs.
I just think like it says so much
like Spenny's is all watches.
Thankfully.
This is signs of emotional abuse.
Yep.
Like.
But it does make you think
like someone's like
explore page is really interesting to me
I feel like you can tell
A lot about someone's personality
Like this guy obviously likes
He obviously spends
All of his free time
Wanking
I would say
Oh here's one I liked last night
Are you healed
Or just isolated
With no one to trigger you
Oh god
You liked that
I feel like everything I see
That pops up
You've liked
You're spending way too much time
On the web.
So I'm the same with you.
I think there's actually only seven memes going around.
Do you know what I mean?
I was thinking Joanne has literally completed the internet from being at home not working.
I was sitting in the hairdressers The other day
Cause she's like
Your ones above me obviously
Doing the hair
And
I looked down
And my
I was trying
So I
It comes up
Most searched
They have little squares
And of course
There's a fucking porn site
On my phone
Because I'm a human woman
Joanne
With needs
That need to be met
You were hanging
You were hanging me out
To drive with the porn stuff
No I wasn't
Little did I know
She's at home
No I wasn't
You just didn't listen
When I was saying
I also indulge
I feel so
What am I a fucking eunuch
Of course I do
I'm not alone anymore
But anyway
So you're one
So I was like
Uh oh
Because it's like
One of the main squares
Like up there
No
Yeah
So I'm reading a whatsapp
You're hitting that shit hard
But I'm
But at that I was like
I'm not hitting it that hard
Like why is it up
Besides Instagram
And my Gmail
Like it's not
I'm not hitting it that hard
I think you're hitting it
Harder than you think you are
I think
The Pornhub
Their SEO
Is obviously really good
But so anyway
So then I start
Trying to click it
Because if you click it
It goes
Do you know what I mean
They're like oh delete
Or whatever
But it wouldn't
It wouldn't click close
It was
I was trying to open
And I was like
Anyway
More to help
What can I do
Look mine doesn't even
Have foreign hope on it
I am thrilled at myself
I don't know why
It was like I was
Getting punked by my phone
It was
Anyway
Do you know what I mean
You're just like
Come here look
We're all at it
Hi girls
Not Jo
That's funny
That's funny now Obsessed with the pod thank you joanne was
talking about how she packed a runaway case with plastic forks and knives as a kid and it reminded
me of a similar story i thought you might find funny at 24 i married a stale ham sandwich of a
man who was six years older 11 months in he told me I didn't love him anymore.
What?
I didn't love him anymore. That's unusual.
Our very expensive therapist
couldn't figure out what was going on between us
but that night I learned about a co-worker of his
and they've been in a relationship for six
months. So do you think that's a typo? Do you think
maybe he said he
didn't love her anymore?
I can't believe that a bloke said that. I think that he probably said you didn't love her anymore. He didn't love... I can believe that a bloke said that.
I think that he probably said you don't love me.
Yeah, I would believe a guy would say that.
You don't love me anymore.
Okay.
Co-worker of his and they've been in a relationship for six months
out of an 11-month marriage.
Wow.
Wow.
Sound.
He proclaimed he was going to leave me to be with his girlfriend tonight
and that his bags have been packed for weeks.
What?
Working up the courage to tell me.
It's probably worth mentioning that his girlfriend lives in Texas.
A two-day drive from where we lived in California,
he sheepishly wheeled out a tiny suitcase and opened it
to reveal 15 DVDs and a pillow. He's a man of small means. That's it.
No clothes, no passport, not even a DVD player.
Looking back, it's one of the proudest moments in my life. I stared him straight in the eyes,
cool as a fucking cucumber and said it's a long drive
to texas babe would you like me to make you a little sandwich oh my god i like this girl he
had never been so attracted to me we had vigorous sex all over the dvds on the floor and lived
happily ever after just kidding i divorced him as quickly As legally possible And I've never looked back
Except to be
Externally
Eternally grateful
To that girl in Texas
For taking the
Overground toddler
Off my hands
Love the pod
What a woman
What a hero
What a woman
Joanne and I would
Love to react
In the same way
But we are
Crazy bitches
And would definitely
Not react that way
I don't know
Please I don't know Please
Please
You'd love to be
The woman who goes
Get your little
Fucking case
And fuck off
Get the fuck
Out of my house
But yeah
I'd be like
Who is she
What does she have
That I don't have
Tell me
Full Betty
Broderick on it
No that's terrible
That was
She murdered them I wouldn't go that far now I'd like everyone to survive But for me to win Who's Betty Broderick on it No that's terrible That was She murdered them
I wouldn't go that far now
I'd like everyone to survive
But for me to win
Who's Betty Broderick
Who's Betty Broderick
Oh
Treat yourself
Dirty John
Do you remember the Dirty John
Show on Netflix
Yeah
Well they turned it into
Like a kind of
An umbrella series
So they did Dirty John
About the woman
Who married that
Tinder
Swindler dude
And then the next series
Was called
It was about
Betty Broderick
Whose husband
Left her
For another woman
Half his age
The usual
And
I won't spoil it
But
She kills them both
So
No spoilers
But everyone dies
At the end
Except Betty
So it's
But it's a brilliantly
Well done series
It's so good
Amanda Peete
Is in it
Joanne I'm really
Enjoy
Your consistency
In life
I really have been
Enjoying it
So thank you
I have not yet
Watched the tenth episode
Of And Just Like That
And you fucking
Ruined it for me
Last night
Okay listen
Sorry
I'm not gonna put
A spoiler alert up
For just watching
Aidan cry in a car
It gives nothing away
Okay well I'll
see if it goes on if to me that seems like it's the like if I saw spending cry like that over
something like that I would say do you know what's many you need to pack your plastic knives and
forks and get out of this door now also in fairness it the crying and I love and just like that like
I have to I love us love love love however Aidan have to, I love it. Love, love, love. However,
Aidan's crying in that scene.
It deserves to be shared before people watch it.
Less as a spoiler,
more of a warning
of what's to come.
I just need to know,
was he wearing the coat?
Was he wearing that coat again?
No, he wasn't wearing the coat
in the crying scene.
He should have though
because I believe that's
some sort of waterproof
material and the crying.
A waterproof garment.
Actually, he wouldn't need it
Because there was no tears
Coming out of his face
It was just a lot of squealing
Oh no
Yeah
Like calm down
Aidan
Yeah
Hi girls
I wanted to get your opinion
On my current
Relationship situation
Cool
We've been together
Seven years
We're both 28
And I still find him
As sexy as I did
On day one
Wow Yeah that's pretty good usual
yeah okay however in the last year or so yeah come on in the last year or so I've noticed a dip
in our sex life I'm just gonna stay say it again right the black boots nothing else but okay
we used to be,
Spenny and I had a conversation last night, right?
And I was standing in the bathroom in my underwear
that weren't particularly,
they just weren't beige thongs.
Because you see somebody naked so often
when you live with them
that like, can you really be turned on every time?
Yeah, because you've got abs and no cellulite
and an ass that won't quit.
No, I've got...
I'm turned on when I see you.
Like I'm aroused now. An ass that won't quit no I've got I'm turned on when I see you like I'm aroused now an ass that won't quit
I have a massive
heart on now
just watching you
whatever that is
what is it
is this the wrong
what are you wearing
pyjamas
I don't know
a shirt I got
in the market
stop teasing
stop teasing me and Jeb
I think when I just
don't have a
beige thong on he's like oh something's going down tonight and I'm think when I just don't have a beige thong on
He's like oh something's going down tonight
And I'm like no it just wasn't working
Alan turned to me this morning
He was kind of looking at me and he goes
I thought you took your makeup off last night
And I was like um excuse me
And I looked in the mirror and there was mascara all over my face
I was like it's waterproof and it's very hard to get off
So I don't think Alan was particularly aroused
When he looked at me this morning
I was a mess I never I don't think Alan was particularly Aroused when he looked At me this morning I was a mess
I never
I wouldn't be like
A sex morning person
Because I just
I feel like
You need to like
You need to brush your teeth
Like wash your face
A morning wee
It just
None of it is attractive
The morning sex
For me is a bit like
You're welcome
Do you know what I mean
It's like go on about your day now
As in like
I've relieved you
I've released you
But don't bother
Coming back tonight
Because it's not happening
I've helped you
I've helped you
Kind of concentrate
For the day
I've brought
I'm like Adderall
For men
They just get
If you ride them in the morning
They have razor focus
For the whole day
That's the
Joanne McNally in her
Yeah
Joanne Adderall
Joanne Adderall
Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne Adderall Joanne McNally in her. Yeah. Joaderal. Joaderal. Joaderal.
We used to be all over each other all the time,
but recently it almost feels like he's lost interest.
Every other aspect of our relationship is perfect.
Oh.
We get on well.
He takes care of me very kind and loving,
supportive and laugh a lot together.
That sounds lovely.
Yeah.
But I've started to get anxious when we all get into bed because if he doesn't try it on, I'm left feeling a little insecure.
For a while I took charge and initiated everything, but then it started to feel like we only had sex because I wanted to.
We've discussed it a little and he reassured me that he's found me attractive.
I'd say on average we have sex once a week.
What do you think I should do?
Is it a problem?
I hear you talk about Spencer and Alan
all over you all the time
and it makes me wonder
why my man isn't
feeling the same.
Well,
I went out with a guy.
Now this is
a different issue.
Is it finished?
Have I interrupted?
No, that's it.
What should I do?
Is it a problem?
I think
I think do you know problem I think I think
do you know what
I'm going to like
yes
it is
it's like
it's like
it's like when you
have a kid right
and your baby will
eat loads at one stage
and then it stops
it stops eating so much
because it just goes
through phases of being
hungrier than others
when it's like growing
and maybe he's just
going through
a dip
in wanting the ride
not necessarily not ever wanting the ride again but he's just And maybe he's just going through a dip in wanting the ride.
Not necessarily not ever wanting the ride again,
but he's just like, maybe he's stressed at work or maybe he's got something else going on in his mind
and that is making him feel stressed and sex isn't.
And also you can get into a rut where you're just like,
oh, I can't be arsed.
Oh, I can't be arsed.
And once a week is still good for a couple of seven years.
Yeah, I agree.
It's easy to jump to conclusions because that's what I do straight away.
I remember two stories come to mind.
One, I was living with this guy
and he was, we were obviously,
we'd, you know, there was a lot of riding going on.
Yeah. And one night he said no.
And I got up, took my pillow and stormed into the spare room and slept there for the night because he said no once.
Yeah. Slept there for the night Because he said no once Stop Now I'm not saying that's right either
But I completely understand
Where this woman is coming from
You feel like there's this
You know narrative that men just want it all the time
And if they
Turn you down or aren't in the mood
Or get a bit of a dip in their sex drive
That there's something terrible going on
There probably isn't
Although that guy that I'm talking about was cheating
But anyway that's another story
But I don't think he cheated on that particular night
Because he was in the house
I just mean
It could just be a case of
You're together seven years
He loves you, he's mad about you
But he isn't
In a real peak At the moment yeah i don't i actually
just i don't i i wouldn't really worry about it because people like once a week would suit me down
to the ground it's if it stops completely i think there's an issue there's something going on and
not necessarily cheating by the way not always cheating Just a little bit of impotence.
Also, it's really common in men.
Like, really common.
But it's common for men not to have, like, a massive sex drive.
Like, as you just said, I do agree with it.
It's like, oh, men just want to fuck all the time.
And that's not the case.
It's not the case.
It's not.
And, like, sometimes life gets in the way of doing stuff.
Like, where, like, I'll find myself being myself being like Oh I just want to go to bed
I just want to
Like that's it
Like
I know a guy
He was
I was talking to the other day
Who had this awful
Life
Event
Happen to him
And he said
He couldn't get it up
For like a year
After
And it was nothing
Like the life event
Was nothing to do with
Sex or anything like that
Yeah
He just had this awful thing happen
And yeah He just couldn this awful thing happen And yeah
He just couldn't get it up
He's like
Like you know
It's not
It's not always
That you just don't want to ride
The person you're riding
If there's other shit going on
Yeah
And it's a tough one
It's a tough one to bring up as well
Because people get super sensitive
Around that subject
So he'd be super sensitive
And he knows that you're feeling that
And it just like heightens the whole thing
Yeah
I would date with
I would date it I'll go American and it just like heightens the whole thing. Yeah. I would date it.
I'll go American on it.
Another guy who at the start,
I was like,
I don't think you fancy me.
Like just no snap in the pencil as it was.
And then he kind of got over it
and it was all fine.
Obviously we're not together now,
but it was,
he's,
I don't know.
I still don't really know what happened there.
He said he was kind of anxious or something. I don't know I still don't really know What happened there He said He was kind of anxious
Or something
I don't know
Anyway
What I mean is
There's other things going on
Yeah exactly
The old me would say
Hack into his phone
And leave him
But the new me
Thinks
No
Maybe there's another reason
For this
The new Joanne
With all her memes
Yeah
Life is good
Live, laugh, love
Are you healed or triggered?
What are you?
That's
I would say
I know
There's still nothing wrong
With going to a phone
Every now and again
If you need to
But
When leads most
And on that note
And on that note
We are going to say
Goodbye
To your boyfriend's privacy
Thank you for listening
To the bonus episode
of
My Therapist Goes to the Meat
we will be back
with the main ep
on Friday
a little reminder
that Forsako
starts back in Dubai
on September 2nd
in the agenda
and I'm told
there are
a trickling of tickets left
a sprinkle
a sprinkle
a smattering of tickets. A smattering of tickets.