My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Bigger than my head!"
Episode Date: December 28, 2022If you've reached the point between Christmas and New Year where you've forgotten what day it is, here's your MTGM reminder that it's WEDNESDAY. This week, some surprise pickled onions, a Christmas pa...rty encounter and giant, New York rats. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comMTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
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This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally.
Joanne. Yes yes Vogue
we're gonna have to start
on something right
we went on too long
on the
we're basically enjoying
the pod too much
we went on too long
on the main app
and we didn't do
my favourite game
guess the headline
go on
okay
guess the headline
Bob Dylan
admits to
binge watching
Love is Blind
Coronation Street oh Corrie's a great show Headline. Bob Dylan admits to binge watching Love is Blind.
Coronation Street.
Oh!
Corrie's a great show.
It's a classic,
solid show.
It's been running years.
I don't like to get sucked into those things
though because they
suck you in.
My mom has
Fair City,
Corrie,
not Emmerdale
but she's all the rest
on the go.
Take up quite a lot
of your time.
Speaking of telly,
and we'll come back
to the game.
You're dead right, we will. I watched a show
I have to say, I love when you get a good show
and you get sucked in. Called The Teacher on
Netflix with Sheridan Smith.
Bloody excellent. Amber's just started
watching that actually. I really enjoyed
it I have to say. Sheridan's
fantastic in it. I need to get in the
White Lotus train. I just keep seeing it everywhere now.
I've seen the last episode which is a problem. Don't spoil anything for me because I haven't seen anything. I need to get in the White Lotus train. I just keep seeing it everywhere now. I've seen the last episode,
which is a problem.
Don't spoil.
Don't spoil anything for me because I haven't seen anything.
I've spoiled it for myself,
but basically I've seen the last.
But you know what?
I Google the end of things anyway,
so it makes no difference to me.
Okay, next headline.
Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott under fire
for ordering two separate...
Planes.
Private jets.
Yes. Two separate private planes
to go to the same place
at the same time.
But in fairness,
he might have been transporting
a duvet for her as well.
So the duvet could have been
on the other plane.
Well, then I completely understand it
and it makes complete sense to me.
And I think how kind of them.
How kind of you to help a friend
you were just
transporting your friends
duvet
like
do you hate each other
you're getting separate planes
I don't know
maybe
this is the shit that pisses me off
do you know what I mean
I washed out a
yop bottle this morning
I washed out a
packet of ham
it's not acceptable
do you know what though do you know
what when someone comes over and they throw something in my recycling bin that's not
recycling there is nothing that aggravates me more and the person has come to visit me
kindly over to my house and they fucked a banana skin in the recycling bin is this me look at them
no it's actually not you I was like please Vogue please
no more passive aggressive
shade of the podcast
when you've got a problem
with me just call
okay
I just sent you
a whatsapp there okay
and I talked to you
outside for a second
Joanne can I just
can I just grab you
for a second
talk to you outside
can I just shut you off
mic just for a second
it's fine it's fine
just a little chat
a little chat
chat chat chat poor Svenny I'm like Svenny what time are we home can we just have a chat can we fine it's fine just a little chat a little chat chat chat chat
poor Svenny
I'm like Svenny
what's telling me home
can we just have a chat
can we have a chat
and he's like literally
the sense of dread
that comes into his voice
he's like why darling
why darling
just need a chat
are you around later
I'd just like to chat
to you about something
that's even giving me
the fear
something on my mind
okay last one
man discovers
girlfriend's collection
of over 50
blank and it makes him uncomfortable used condoms my mind. Okay, last one. Man discovers girlfriend's collection of over 50 blank
and it makes him uncomfortable.
Used condoms?
No, it's even worse.
Hoodies from other guys.
Oh, yes.
That's a
great way of like building your wardrobe.
Everyone likes a good hoodie. I like an oversized
hoodie. Well, I
will say,
I have some items of clothing that don't necessarily belong to me.
Yeah, I'll have them back anytime now.
And I have been.
I love wearing this hoodie.
It just reminds me of that time
I went down on Vogue.
Can I just say something?
We actually talk about going down on me and snakes too down on Vogue. Can I just say something? We actually talk about
going down on me
and snakes too often
on the pod.
I know.
Do you know what?
A girl for next year.
Let's go down on people.
In our outside lives.
More news.
But in our inside our house lives
lots of it.
More politics.
That's what I think.
Absolutely you little Tory Joanne.
Let's go full CNN.
Okay. Are you going to start wearing I know that you've been hiding it. each one let's go full let's go full CNN okay
are you gonna
start wearing
I know that
you've been hiding
are you gonna wear
your red MAGA hat
we know you have one
I know you have one
look at her now
look at her
look at her little snake
trying to get me cancelled
so she can go on tour
with Spencer
it's not gonna fucking happen
you Tory MAGA hat lover
look all I said
was I think
Trump had some
valid points
and I like the
font on that hat
sometimes I wear
it backwards
okay
she's always said
she liked to
tuck her hat
yeah so hoodie
some other guys
which I thought
was a good one
okay
what I was
what I was saying
there was
I do have
some items
when I was
moving out
I have some
stuff from
previous
men sometimes I wouldn't even sometimes one of them I wouldn't
even call them boyfriends I wouldn't say you're much of a like get rid of stuffer am I gonna move
these into my new boyfriend's wardrobe it'll seem a bit you know so I did and he doesn't know which
ones they are sorry babes I will say though I think that I thought that you would have done
a bit of a clear out now there
One time I could build a man
I'd like man's socks
man's knickers
a man's t-shirt
and a man's jumper
build a little man on the bed
and snuggle it late at night
Yeah
that worldly week I had
Yeah stop
I had a week of being worldly
I had a world
I was so bad at being worldly
God I regret that I regret that Yeah, stop. I had a week of being worldly. I was so bad at being worldly.
God, I regret that.
Regret that!
There was this story about the rats in New York.
So apparently the rats are like, you know, a real problem in New York New York I'll tell you something have you ever been in Soho right I went to this restaurant in Soho for my
birthday and I'm not this is like about five years ago I am not joking there were mice running over
people sitting at the table at our table I was like what is going on supposedly there's just
such a huge problem I don't mind mice so I wasn't really that bothered, but like running over people.
Rats in New York.
Where though?
Everywhere.
Apparently it's really,
it's apparently it's really bad.
So the New York,
the mayor has put out for,
he's hiring a director of rodent mitigation.
So basic,
it's 138 grand a year job.
What?
To try and reduce the number of rats in New York.
Apparently, it's a huge problem.
But I was laughing.
One of the things that said the ways they've tried to kill them or curb them up to this point is they had this toxic soup to drown them in.
And another way they had was they tried to suffocate them with dry ice and they just can't go rid of them.
I was like, put these rats on wipeout.
They could fucking survive anything.
Oh my God.
Getting through the crystal maze.
They can't kill them.
I don't mind a rat either.
Do you remember Pizza Rat?
Do you remember the rat who went viral?
He was dragging the big thing of pizza down the subway.
I thought you were talking about that fella from that movie.
What's it called?
Ratatouille. No, we's it called? Ratatouille.
No, we love a bit of Ratatouille.
Yeah, he was dragging
it was actually really funny.
But then I read
this other thing
that it was saying
that rats
dance.
Do they?
Yeah, they
can move to music
they can do synchronized moves
to things that have a good beat
like Lady Gaga
they can dance and stuff
which is more than me
and you can do Vogue.
I know, yeah. that's one of my
definite downfalls
anyway if you're looking
for a job in New York City
140 grand nearly
nice
I know
they're like
the mayor was like
you need to be a bit
bloodthirsty
like it's
it's a kind of a documentary
waiting to happen
I think
I hope they're going to
film the whole thing
like a Netflix special
the Ratsitch
will we do a couple of emails
sure
okay hi girls and Joe oh god again no they're going to film the whole thing like a Netflix special the Rotsitch will we do a couple of emails sure okay
hi girls and Joe
oh god again
no
I'm only joking
Joe's writing the emails
again
Joe's writing the emails
it's just
hi girls
and then Joe
scrolls in pen
at the end
love the pod
I was just listening
to your latest app
and Vogue asked
what the strangest thing
you've woken up with
after a night eight
mine was a two and a half kilo jar
of shop pickled onions on my bedside table.
Good girl.
Bigger than my head.
I'd been out with my friends
and obviously went for my obligatory night out
chippy before heading home.
I must have decided two pickles
were not enough with my portion of chips
and asked to buy a full jar.
Oh, she bought it.
She bought it.
Oh, sorry, I see she robbed it.
I have a vague recollection of standing in the taxi queue
with my jar of pickles,
feeling super happy with myself.
Needless to say, I never did get through that jar.
The fear of gastric ulcer was too much.
Love, Gem from Glasgow.
Love it.
Good woman, Gem.
She actually said,
please put on another Glasgow gig
as I couldn't get tickets. Gem, you know what? Happy She actually said, please put on another Glasgow gig as I couldn't get tickets.
Jan, you know what?
Happy Christmas.
We've just put on
another Glasgow gig.
Hi, Joanna Vogue.
I'm a 39-year-old woman
and I've had a recent encounter
I want your opinion on.
I was on a Christmas night out
with a group of friends.
Me and a young man
were the last two standing,
went for more drinks
and then he came back
to stay in my house.
It was easier than getting a taxi home.
One, two, skip a few.
We were in the same bed
for several hours,
no riding,
but shenanigans did take place.
It was totally initiated by him,
but we were very much
into it he was great attentive complimenting me while also into consent and making sure i was
having a good time and i did not something i've generally found men my age now she's 39 he's 27
i recently started thinking of him in a different light but i dismissed it because he's so much
younger i didn't think for a second that it was a potential relationship, but I'm wondering what it means for me and not us.
For context, he knows how old I am.
We're both single and we've had recent stuff in our love lives that have fucked us up a bit.
I don't want a husband or kids or anything, so don't feel any pressure to find a partner to settle down with forever.
I feel like this thing did me good in some way, but would be curious to hear your input.
I think it sounds like you know yourself. I think as well, sometimes, and I have a history of this
as well. You try and turn like a decent one night stand, because it's so rare to have a one night
stand. I think usually they're pretty meh. You're just kind of doing it to feel alive.
You try then and turn it into a relationship and actually some things are just better left
as they were
you're like
that was a lovely experience
you had a nice time with that
namaste
good luck to you
namaste
may the road
may the road rise with you
namaste
don't stay in my bed
done
may a sparrow be in your hand
rather than in the bush
what are you mad
I'd much for
you'd be lying in bed together
but I just mean
it wasn't a one night stand
it wasn't a one night stand
oh
was it
if there was no
sexual intercourse
just a bit of
I mean
hugging and tugging
yeah
just a bit of hugging and tugging
yeah
yeah come on
she talked all for 27 year olds
fair play
you know what i mean
live your life treat yourself etc treat yourself sometimes i think things just leave these things
as they were you know what i mean yeah it sounds like you had a nice night and i don't think you
need anything else i think you should do you know what i think you should do i think you should go
and have more nice nights like that that's it that's the thing your light's on
you're ready to go
your light's on
you're flashing
go flashing
shine your light around town
get it out there
god she's so obsessed
with Gary Bardo
still shine a light
shine a light
I will also say as well
and I'll probably be
crucified for this
but
I do think sometimes
when there's
I found it a bit
with like
lads who are
significantly younger
they're like
good looking
and all that jazz
and they're like
you know
they're fit and blah blah
but sometimes you do
kind of struggle for it
you know
you're like
don't have a huge amount
in common here
you know what I mean
alright
ultimately everyone
shells their age
in the end
I know
even sometimes
Fanny's like
would you ever grow up
I'm like
that's it
this is as good as it gets
for you. Yeah, you're like, I've reached a wall
this is... I don't get any more
My brain stopped growing at 21
I told you that on our wedding day
Yeah, precisely
That's it Joanne
You've got precisely three days off
before we record again, so enjoy them
Just as an aside, ghosted
tour dates for sale
Oh, you're the
best at this. Come on. Do you know what?
This will really cheer me up now.
I love seeing a bit of this. I can't wait to watch my money
go down the drain while she tries to plug us.
Do your best.
Come on. Let's do it. Let's do it. Come on.
Guys, we've got
something in store for you.
I'm into it
We're going on tour
These are the shows
That we have
These are the shows
That are coming up
Wednesday
7th and 8th of June
Glasgow
Glasgow
9th of June
Cardiff
16th of June
Salford Quays
15th and 17th of September
The London Apollo
That wasn't actually that bad
That wasn't actually quite good
We might have to cut out the bit
Where I tried to slag her
Come don't come It doesn't matter I cut out the bit where I tried to slag her. Come, don't come.
It doesn't matter.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm ashamed.