My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "BYE!"

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

This week, a love bombing farmer withdraws contact after a screenshot alert. Plus, who got Oasis tickets and collabs that will last beyond the grave.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne. I said half your name. Mack. Yeah. Nolly. Nolly.

Yes. There we go. I was like what? I? Maybe you'd forgotten it there for a second. I usually get you to say your own name and I was like, oh no, I've taken her line. I took her line. Well, you gave me Mac, so thank you. We sound the same anyway. I was greatly appreciated. We do. I know. And it's getting worse, I think. It's getting worse, not better. Oh, absolutely. How is Ireland? I'm in Dublin. Gorgeous. For my father's surprise Asian birthday,

the surprise being he did not attend because he passed away in 1999. That's very, do you know what? I think that's so nice. Yeah, and do you know what? It made things a lot easier because there was no presents to be bought. We didn't even use a candle because obviously he's not blowing it out. Honestly, it was a breeze

Did you get a cake? Of course we got a cake, it's his 80th Yeah, we just went out then and threw it at the headstone Here are your favorite vanilla sponge eat up Frank I think. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Dripping off the headstone in Shangana now. It's a lot of trifle.

I didn't get my dad anything for his birthday. Did you not? Well, now, fairness, I think Pat just likes, you know, remember Pat's pizza parties. Pat likes to throw a party and she's quite the host. So I think it was just a nice reason to get together. And she did want to mark dad's 80th. He would have been 80 this year.

And you know what's so funny? I mean, like when he 1999, I only think he was like 51 or 52. It's actually like at the time, obviously, I thought he was ancient and, you know, ready to die. He's in his 50s. He's lived his life. Yeah, he's lived a whole life but now as a 41 year old woman I'm like Jesus I was very young to go. 51 that's really sad.

Yeah it's very young isn't it. Anyway he's 80 now so congratulations Frank. Well done. Thanks for the day 8. You made it. Yeah, you made it. Big 8-0. Oh, God. Mum made a speech. Pat made a speech. Like a full, like, fork to the glass, silence everyone's speech was very, very sweet. Just about how basically me and my brother are just, you know, brilliant, amazing children who got her through a really dark time. And I was like, thank you, Pat.

And then I tried to do a bit of material and they put the music back on. I said, hold on a second. That's a whole 10 minutes you've done there now. Your mum, though, you're not a single gag, not a single gag. But your mum has been on her own. Wrap it up. You're boring people now. What? Your mum has been on her own since your dad died. I think I'd have to move on immediately.

We've spoken about this. What do you think? I can't be a liar. There's a very strong tradition, I think it's in Bolivia, where they take the carcasses out of the ground every couple of years and dress them up. Someone literally just sent it to me on Insta now.

I know, and parade them around the village. They change all their clothes every time that they take them out of the grave. But like it must be really hard to just like change bones. I know I would, because I wouldn't feel forgotten. How are you going to take one outfit into the grave? I am not, I'm going to. How are you going to do that?

I'll be, exactly. Change, don't worry, that little mistress will have to keep selling. That collab will have to continue. He will drag you out of your cup. Boca's wearing a size zero. Do a shit. I don't think the ring light's necessary guys. There's not a lot we can do here.

She's very white at age. She's really white at age. We've got the content. We're going for another five years. They just turn me into a pulpit with the bones and it's like, do do do do do do do do do do do my modeling. Dead body and a nice floral wrap around. Gigi stealing the shoes off you. We haven't done shoes yet, thankfully.

Gigi can't swipe them. Did you see, did you see my, speaking of clubs, my event, my Bareby Vogue event? Was that not the best event you've ever seen? I certainly did. I was like, is that Vogue Williams in a kayak somewhere? What's happening? It looked amazing. Now, I actually had no part in organizing that. That's down to the Bareby Vogue team

who did, like I honestly was trying to just steal them off Ciarán. I hate to interrupt you, but I don't think anyone would have thought that you had to organize them. Pardon? Does everyone know I'm not a good hostess? What I mean, you're in head to toe Bare by Vogue merch on a kayak. I went sea swimming. I'm a sea swimmer now. I've been to your parties. That's not the vibe.

My parties are more like, no, get it yourself. You know where it is. Go get it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go down and get me ice, will you? I ended up doing a full shift down there in Dora in the basement. Well, I want those girls to organize my 40th birthday party. There was nothing, there was no stone left unturned. We were at this place as well called, I'm going to say Wild Atlantic Glamping.

Oh my God. It was like, they had a woman there who came to cook and she was, she did the most amazing meals ever. I love slagging my mom as well because like there was a little flower on the food that she wrote. She mailed me on Instagram and she was like, Oh, I love those pansies. And I was like, mom, you can't say that word anymore. Cause she's like, Oh, you were, I can't keep up. Everything keeps changing. I'm like, sorry, mom, you can't say open anymore. I'm sorry. It's also a blacked out word.

Do you know what? Hun D.P. is misogynistic. Did you know that? You can't say that anymore. Damn it. You can't say it anymore. Damn it. OK, I'll just keep it to the privacy of my own home from now on. Fair enough. My poor mother.

I was like, I'm joking, mom, I'm joking. Anyway, so there's this place, it's on an Island called Bear Island and 200 people live there, right? It is so gorgeous. It's just off West Cork. West Cork is also so gorgeous. I never went to my holidays down there when I was younger. We used to just go, we lived in Port Mornex. We just went to the beach there. And it is like the most, they had these glamping tents and I'm going to, obviously I'm planning my holidays next year already. I was like, I'm bringing the kids in here

because they always want to go camping, but I'd rather go with that kind of camping and they won't know the difference because they don't know the difference. Yeah. They're never, they're never going to know what real camping is. They're telling you to work. I'm never going real camping with them. No way. Anyway, so I took up sea swimming down there, got myself a dry robe. Amber was meant to come but couldn't come and then Amber was trying to get me to steal her a dry robe and stuff. I was like, sorry, if you didn't come to Bear Island, I'm not bringing you home a dry robe. Did you deny Amber a Bareby Vogue dry robe?

Get your own dry robe. I'm not dragging. I couldn't even fit. I went straight to Coldplay. I couldn't. I had to take a dry robe with me. I'm not taking two dry robes. Come on. Oh, hold on. Jesus. Because you went from Bear. By the way, I love what they did with the Bear Island and the Bear by Vogue thing. I know. As an ex-publicist PR marketing woman, I think. Tic, tic. Again, not my idea. Yes, very good idea. Well done to the crew. Very good idea. I was actually speaking to West Cork. I was actually talking to a friend of mine yesterday.

He used to spend her summers on Shurkin Island where you would, there's no roads or cars. I'm sure it's all changed now. There was two pubs and you had to bring all your food like with you and stuff. And she's like, she doesn't know how her mother did it, but they used to go every summer. Isn't that a fab way to spend your summer? Do you know, it was so nice. And well at Bear Island, there's a ferry over and back and then, and you can bring your car and they do have roads. They've got one school

and there's 20 kids in the school. So there's two teachers and they teach like from, from junior infants to first class. And then the other ones are like from first to sixth class. I'm like, this is just like, it'd be so, yeah. So there's like 14 year olds learning the alphabet. Now they've left school. No, they split it. So there's like 14 year olds learning the alphabet with the others. They've left school, no they split it so you're still like you might be learning a bit of the alphabet when you're eight which is probably not ideal. But anyway we all get there in the end but it was really fab and I loved it and I want to go on holidays in Ireland more because actually if you get the weather particularly in Ireland it is just amazing. And sea as well. Can't beat it. Perfect for me.

I'm more of an imaginary sea swimmer. Like I love the idea of it. I think. So I swim in my mind. I honestly think. But physically getting wet, it's not really, it wouldn't really be my buzz. I like when I'm away, foreign and exotic.

Well, I would like, if I took over your body for a short time, right, I would, I swear to God, you would love one thing you would love is sea swimming. Definitely. I really want to get skates. I want to go skating. So that was, that was my, my Bear Island trip. That's what I did. And then I went straight to Coldplay. It looked amazing. I heard it was amazing. Why didn't you go? You were in Ireland. Like I'm not, I'm not a Coldplay fan, but they were so brilliant. And obviously I went straight in and put the word in for Oasis. I was like, just so you know, I really love coming to concerts, especially

Oasis. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck with that. My friends in I'm saying that they were at Coldplay and, Coldplay and they have tickets for Oasis. They just randomly slipped through the ballot or whatever. And they were saying they don't know how Oasis are going to compare because Oasis they're on, they're out to make cash because like now after losing 20 million in the divorce, they're not going to spend money on lights. Do you know what I mean? On like light shows and reflectors and shit like that. It's going to be Liam, no, I'm surprised if they even have mics. I'd go watch.

I just won't even bother paying for them. I'd watch them in the dark. I wouldn't care. They can just, they can sing in the dark and I wouldn't give a shit. I am so excited. And Joe, excuse me. I don't like your attitude about me getting tickets. I'm going to get tickets.

It's going to happen. I don't care. I've got tickets to Madonna. Of course you are. I spent seven hours trying to get tickets on If I get tickets right I've got I think I'm working on Dublin first if I get tickets to London, I guess I'll take you go on there. I know exactly what you I've asked for Dublin Joanne you asked for London. Okay, and? And then you won't even want to go. So we'll just I'm going to a wedding.

I love Oasis. So song fairgrounds. I'll wear a bucket hat. I'll go. Yeah. OK, well, we'll see you there because we'll be on your dime. You have to get us tickets for Oasis in Wembley. I don't know if I can go. I'm a big Blur fan. I think. Do you know what though? I will say back when I was working in MCD, the music promoters, when I was kind of like interning there or whatever, back when I was working in the music industry. Audrina Partridge.

Oh my God. What a random reference. Is that your one from the Hills? Yeah, she used to work in the music industry. Yeah, she did. Yeah. Back when I was working in the music biz, and I was at Slane Castle and they were, they were headlining that year and I was kind of walking around backstage doing bits and bobs. They walked past me on their way to go up to the stage. I don't really get starstruck, really. I'm just too mad to too magical probably to really give a shit, but when they walked past me, the butt, like they're fucking rock stars.

I was like, oh. I felt funny inside. I felt funny in my insides. And the way they swagger, they were swaggering up one ahead of the other with their bucket hats and their, all those parka jackets and all, on July all this shit's coming back love all that fashion love and love that

on lads as well I love all that I love that look on lads Carhartt are just gonna sell out of shit now it's just like they're a cool brand but now that we're like we have to get our oasis gear on I'm gonna dress in like overs I need the clips to come back we need like nope remember the nope trousers oh yeah let's jump on this. But I'm happy to jump on a bandwagon. You know me. I love a jump on a wagon. Chris Martin, he's got such a massive stage presence, but like where does he get his clothes? I'm not being bad and I know you shouldn't judge people for their clothes, but he was wearing a belly top on stage at

one point. And I thought, where did you buy that? He's kind of, he's a hippie though, isn't he really? Isn't he kind of a hippie? He's saving the world. Like he is saving the world. He's doing loads of stuff. That means he's saving the world. Like he definitely is washing out his yogurts and stuff like that. He's proper. Yeah, you can tell that man recycles. Yeah. I mean, that shouldn't be the takeaway from the show that he put on in Dublin, because it was apparently one of the best shows

that's ever happened. Great show, definitely recycles. Yeah, you walk away and you're like, whatever about the music and the lights, that man recycles. 100%. You gotta give him that. That's hot.

That is hot. So on that basis alone, we think you're hot, Chris Martin, because you recycle. Well done. Not hot enough for me to go though. But yeah, maybe next time, if you're wearing something more full length, I'll go. You only want to see a man's belly, you know what I mean? It's not even a belly button.

I don't want to see that. Put it away. Belly buttons are the worst. No! Chris. I just won't go, Chris. If you come back to the UK, Joanne is not coming unless you sort out your belly tops. Just stop it. You've no one to blame but yourself, Chris.

You've no one to blame but yourself because you'll look out into that crowd, into that 60 billion people and know you won't see my face, huh? And then what? And then what? What, Chris, what? I would be on for Oasis though, for sure. Joanne, I've never heard such horse shit in my life,

but okay. Look, what happens is, if someone just drove me there and tossed me out of the car into the middle of it, I'd have a ball. It's just drove me there and tossed me out of the car into the middle of it, I'd have a ball. It just makes me getting myself there. You would get there. You would get there and there would be queues of people and you'd be like,

no, fuck this, this isn't for me. You'd be gone. It's like a mental illness. It's like, it's like, what's the opposite of a fetish? Like, I'm opposed to queuing. Dear Joanna Vogue, I matched with a sexy farmer recently. Oh, yum. You could be a farmer in those clothes.

What was that from again? Clueless, was it? It was from Clueless, I think. He was very keen. He said all the right things and made me feel desired and wanted. He even mentioned how he wanted to have kids and couldn't understand how men in their mid thirties don't know what they want. Why? Oh, okay. Good. I felt like all my prayers were answered and my feelings were being validated. Not

long after the first date, the attention started to intensify. Nice. I love attention. Um, soon I was added on WhatsApp and Instagram and Snapchat with conversations being initiated on all three. Wow. It's a lot. It's not Snapchat to me now. Like that my 14 year old nephew is on Snapchat. Is that not kind of the vibe for Snapchat now? Well, the last time I was on Snapchat, I used to have like, like the, that's where I got the dick pics. But I remember one guy once mailed me on Snapchat and it was like four fucking videos long of him just wanking. And I was like, what is this? Obviously I was. How long are you allowed to do clips on Snapchat?

How long? I can't remember, but I watched till the very end, obviously, to make sure that everything had gone all right for him, which he did. But I just thought, this is really weird. What a weird thing to do. Folks sitting there waiting for the credits at the end. Like every inch of it. I just think that's up there with the fucking, that's up there with the belly button. That's not something I would engage with now.

A grown man on Snapchat. It had only been a few days, but he wanted constant attention and reassurance. I don't like that. Snaps, voice notes and daily phone calls ensued. If I didn't respond within an hour or two, I was told I was being too quiet. Oh, that is like, so I'd hate that. Oh, that's a bit much. Yeah. Two hours, two hours. You're being too quiet. Get lost. That's, that's a perfect example of make sure you're texting other people as well as the one person that you really like.

It's always our answer. Always our answer. Low level cheating. Always our solution. Alarm bells were starting to ring, but I felt a physical attraction and thought maybe he's just anxious about the distance. We live two hours apart. We were due to have a third date and he basically put me on standby with some excuse of his uncle being in town. I express my frustration. I mean, the two of you seem to be at it a little bit here. God, I hate when people know how to communicate. It's so embarrassing for me though. Pardon? I'm like, oh, you expressed your frustration. Oh yeah, no, that's actually an adult normal

thing to do. You told the truth. Okay, strange. Yeah, okay, fine. We're still with you. Yeah, fine. I did a screenshot of the conversation as I wanted advice from a friend. Dating in the early stages could be a minefield and I wanted to make sure I was being reasonable. Oh no. Forgetting Snapchat notifies the other person. I was met instantly with a lot of anger. He immediately asked me why I did that. Figuring I couldn't make up an excuse for the screenshot, I decided to come clean. I said, I don't know what to say. So I greeted with a message. He replied very quickly, bye. It's like, you know, that meme that goes around him. What's his name? Is it

not Jeremy Corbyn? Nigel Farage? Boring! Have you seen that? And removed me from all socials pretty much immediately. Relationship lasted a total of 10 days and I had been discarded. And I challenged him. I have now come to realize I was being love formed. Oh my God. At first it feels like you're being swept off your feet. Then they demand so much of your attention and finally they abandon you, but with the likelihood of a return. I feel really embarrassed, but I know it's not my fault either. I guess I

just wanted to share as a word of warning to Bumble users. If it feels too good to be Oh my God, that's it. Yeah. I mean, I can't say I haven't done something similar myself. Really? Well, you know the way you're like explaining to your friends what's going on with something and then you end up sending it to them. You know, we've all done that. Oh yeah, I've done that. I haven't just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

100%. Yeah. But he's clearly that done that. I haven't just. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, but he's clearly, that was not going to be a thing. No. You know? I mean, and I'm going to reference again, a grown man on Snapchat. It's a no from me. Also, that kind of, you're not texting back in time,

all that stuff, like that's kind of controlling, you know, and that's his character. That doesn't go away. That's who he is. and it doesn't seem like that was gonna be a fit. Also, why has he got you on standby for the date? You know, there's a lot of, I don't think you've lost out on anything there, Nia, to be honest.

He sounds like a pain in the hell. At least it only lasted 10 days. I was watching this video of this guy, who he's a narcissist, like he's been diagnosed as a narcissist, and he was just explaining the reasons why he shouldn't be going out with a narcissist, even, he's a narcissist, like he's been diagnosed as a narcissist and he was like just explaining the reasons why he shouldn't be going out with a narcissist, even though he is a narcissist and it's kind of mad when you read stuff like that. But this fella, I'm not saying he's a narcissist, but he's definitely, I'd say he definitely

still lives with his mom and he's like 45. Yeah, I'd say there's definitely a vibe to that. You can't get to the controlling ones. They're, it's It's the big cuz they bring you in with that because because I've been in situations like that But you they are they're like hey right back text me text me text me right you kind of step up then Do you know what I mean? Because you're like, oh god, obviously, I'm the one holding the relationship back and next thing you're fucking tied to a radiator Do you remember at the end of your messages when you're younger you always used to write WB? Yeah, WB, B, B, B, B. Please. Bye. No, he but it's so funny how that can happen in such a short space of time.

Like I've been in those situations before. I, which I'm sure I've told this story on the pod before. But at one stage I was texting my school girls. This is like back, I think during lockdown, telling them I'd met someone because I was texting this guy that I was just getting on really well with. I never, I've, and to this day I've never met him. He just stopped texting me. He went away. But like day four I was like, you know, in the throes of a new romance with someone, we'd probably sent him about five voice notes and I was like, girls, big news, I've met someone.

Get your hat. Where? Nowhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's easy, especially with all the voice noting and all the contact, you can become kind of close to people quite quickly, but then you're like, is it real? I don't know if it's real or not. It's like a fake rapport.

It's like a fake intimacy. You got to get it into the real world as quick as possible, I think. Yeah, for sure. What was the question? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. And also, if, to any man listening,

I will, I do that. So just be aware. I'm also part of the problem. I'm willing to be bombed and bomb. Bomb away, bomb away. I am willing to be the bomber and the bombie. Music