My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Does he fancy my best friend?"
Episode Date: June 14, 2023It's EXTRA time.... Ageing gracefully, mentors and convincing a listener that her boyfriend probably isn't going to run off with her best friend!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email ...to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player Original Podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes to Room with me, Bo Williams and Joanne McNally.
Joanne McNally, your loss is always my gain.
Oh, I left my, well, we don't really know what they are.
I left the growths
That I wear
At the end of my
Ankles
In Vogue's room
They are like a furry
Slipper shoe
From
Is it
What are they called
Ninth level
Level nine
Tower nine
Tenth floor
Close
Tenth floor
Tower nine
Yeah
How did you get back
To your room
Just in your little
Trotters Just your feet You went up You to your room Just in your little trotters
Just your feet
You went up
You forgot your shoes
Just ran out of my bare feet
Amazing that she'd forget her shoes
Actually I didn't even
It was only when I was standing in the lift
Barefoot
And bollock naked
That I was like
Where are my shoes?
What have I done?
What have I done?
Where are my furry slipper shoes
That I
I wear around
Just to see people's reaction
I love them
It's like my clogs
That everyone slags
And that I didn't wear
For a year
Because that woman
Threw me such a filthy look
And started laughing at me
In a
Soho farmhouse
A random woman
In a Soho farmhouse
I could see her face
Like curl up
And then she just started
Laughing at my shoes
And I thought
I might pop these away
For a while
No
Folk
We don't
What She's a key bag
it was like that time remember me and you
and Ewan right me and you
me and you and me and you
and Ewan
me and you and Ewan
were out for dinner and I was wearing
I'm not going to lie it was a loud outfit
it was like turquoise multicoloured
leopard print jacket with
matching they weren't actually matching
They were a yellow leopard print
Flare
And the look
Like she literally
I didn't know a nose
Could curl
Her nose curled up
In disgust
I know we're about
Women supporting women
But the second one of them
Curls her nose up
We're like
No no no no no
It's Jo's birthday tomorrow
Happy birthday Jo
I heard
It will have been and gone
he went on the absolute
the absolute piss last night
and I have to drive home
with him tonight
we're driving home
from Cardiff after the show
perfectly legally
and perfectly safely
can I say
because that was last night
that's tonight
different
and Joe
when you drive with Joe
it's my second time
driving with him now
his car
is like
it's basically like sitting in business
class the seat goes the full way back Joe doesn't try to talk to you he does play the worst music
and I just I just put my headphones in I said you know it's his car he can do what he likes I'm not
going to get involved but like shocking shocking and I said to you you can listen to whatever you
want and you said you're absolutely fine With your Classic rock radio station
Is what you said
You insisted on the Darkness album
That you played on repeat
Is that what they're called?
The Darkness?
Just read the t-shirt there
Yeah
Oh my god yes
I didn't even notice that
You're obsessed with the Darkness
I'm upset about something
Go on
I've missed my chance with Harry Styles
Yep
What?
Who's he banging now
Listen
You say this every time
He's banging someone new
He's been banging
He's been banging new people
For the last 30 years
Joanne
Joanne
He is in Dublin tonight
I could have gone to Slane
Casually bumped into him
And been like
Right
Harry
Come on
Let's go
Come with mummy
Come to mama
You're a bit old for him I think
No
No
He likes older women
I know but you're a bit too old
That was my point
Oh too old yeah
Yeah we're ageing positively
Anyway
Harry likes the older lady
I hate that word lady
That just makes you sound old
Do you know what
Jennifer Aniston
One of my
One of my faves was
She's bringing out some sports thing or something.
So she's all over the place at the moment.
And she was saying one of her pet peeves,
one of her most irritating sayings is,
you look well for your age.
And I was like, Jennifer, I could not agree more.
You just look well.
She said, you just say you look great.
You don't say you look well for your age
because it's like you're getting away with something.
It's like you're tricking people
Or
There's an
There's just an assumption
That once you hit 35
Or whatever age it is
It always changes
Depending on what age you are
Yeah
That you're like
Oh god
It's kind of shocking
You don't look like shit
I know
Do you know what
Yes
But you will
I know
But when
Do you know what
I swear
And I'm not just making this up
I feel very comfortable In the age that I'm at now.
I don't want to be in my 20s.
I've done my 20s. I enjoyed my 20s.
And I actually feel very comfortable.
I never thought I would feel so comfortable at this age, but I do.
I'm 40 now.
What age are you, Vogue? Are you 38, 37?
38 in October.
I'm happy about it though I am
I feel like
I'm in a good spot
Yeah
That was what I was saying
It was like
That
We don't
Like we don't
Lie about our age
We don't fudge our age
We're proud
No we are
And also we're fucking young
Like this
Jennifer's at a different stage
Because she's
What is she Jo?
Can you check?
I was doing
I was doing a TV show
with
it's different when you're
it's different when you're
under 40
like and you're like
oh I feel good about my age
or even 40
like I feel good about my age
but she feels like
she's literally
coming to the end
of her Hollywood chapter
she's 54
she's 54
so I think
hitting your 50s
is a different beast again
then
it's like
oh now you're really
getting away with something
do you know what I mean
what I will
say like I know when somebody very close to me turned 70 not my mum someone else they cried
before their 70th birthday only because they were they were they're starting to get scared
like that that time is coming closer to an end and I can understand that but like I was I did
a radio show sorry today with them with a 90 year old woman who
was on tour selling her fifth book she's doing all these book talks she's an actress she is like
so intelligent she was she's so glamorous she was really really cool yeah you see it's always
it's always deadly when you meet women like that who you're like you can kind of look up to
yeah or just look at and be like wow they're doing a really good job of just being alive and yeah
she did say we were successful and being cool and just enjoying their fucking lives you know
she was saying though she was like uh because we were talking about like best friends and something
she was like well most of my friends are dead i was like oh god no, please don't start this with me.
There's a, there's a woman on Insta and I still, to this day, I don't know if she's real or fake.
Let me try and find her.
Grandma Droniak.
I'm probably not pronouncing that correctly.
Grandma Droniak.
She's, I'm a celebrity.
This is her bio.
She's 1.3 million followers.
Her bio is, I'm a celebrity and a 93 year old grandma.
Yes, I can be her grandma too
contact
Kevin Draniak
for business inquiries
but her videos are like
get ready with me
for the grave
and she's like
putting on makeup
and everything
like
I honestly
like
Grandma Draniak
I don't mean to
upset you
but I can't tell if she's
if she
if
I don't know
I don't want to speak out of turn,
but I can't tell if she's,
if she knows exactly what she's doing or not.
Oh my God, I'm following her right now.
I don't mean to insult her,
but she's gas is all I would say.
She's amazing.
I just see a picture of,
she's pulling a knife out of her bag
and one of the things, what the hell?
Oh yeah.
Here's what's in my bag.
Stop asking.
A calculator.
She's like, I've been single for decades. I think that's why I look my bag. Stop asking. A calculator. She's like,
I've been single for decades.
I think that's why I look so good.
So she takes TikTok trends
and then she kind of
acts them out on her own page.
And then she films herself dancing
and just screaming,
Slay Queen, slay.
Do you remember Irish Apple?
Like she's still alive,
but like she did a collab with H&M.
She has her own like rug range
and she is so cool
like I
like and I think
she's in her 90s as well
she's amazing
see
she's actually
I would say she's cooler than us
we need more women like that
they're out there
I just need to find them
I was reading an article
the other day about
it was talking about
the importance of
intergenerational friendships
for women
so different women
being friends with
different generations
which is what Vogue
thinks me and her are but genuinely genuinely intergenerational friendships like I don't have
any female friends in their 60s like I've my mom and her sisters and stuff but it's not the same
thing do you know what I mean I'm not like best friends with you see I women significantly younger
women significantly older and I feel like I'm lacking that a bit I feel like I am like auntie
Jean is one of my best friends
she comes on all of our holidays with us
my Auntie Naomi. That's true
you have Gina, yeah you do. Naomi is one of my
really good friends, I would speak to her a lot, she's my Auntie
Anyway, I just think, I think that's why people have
mentors in certain industries so they can
enjoy the wisdom of people
who've been around longer than them
and I'd love it in friendships. I'd actually love
I'd love a female mentor
a female mentor
I have a male one
Des Bishop is kind
of my male mentor
really
okay
I know what you're asking here
I would like to be
I will be your female mentor
thank you so much
sorry
so
Dame
it was Dame Sheila Hancock
Who was 90
She would be an amazing mentor
If you got
Do you know her Jo?
Yeah she's an icon
She can be yours
Yeah I'll have her
I'd love
I would love
I mean Joan Rivers
Would be the ideal mentor
Oh yeah
Sadly I know
Sadly those days are gone
But
An older female comedian
Would be amazing
Yeah
Like who?
You know?
I don't know.
Like I want the comedian
from Hacks
but she's not,
she's fictional sadly.
Well that won't really work.
I know
but she would be ideal.
I think she's kind of based
on Joan Rivers
but anyone.
Like you know
like someone just
I just want
I'd love to be in the
in the bosom of an
older female performer
Judy Garland
that kind of thing
you're going for all the dead ones though
not helpful
mother of god
I'm ahead of my time
no I'm behind my time
will we do
some listener emails
sure
Bette Midler
I'd have Bette share Will we do some listener emails? Sure. Okay. Bat Middler.
I'd have Bat.
Oh, she, yeah, yeah.
I'd say share.
Share.
Share.
Imagine having share.
Folk, Joanne, please help.
Of course.
I've got a massive fear at the moment and it's eating me alive.
I'm going between being absolutely certain
and then doubting myself,
wondering why I'm like this.
Sounds like somebody I know.
For the last two weeks,
I've been getting this feeling
that my boyfriend has a thing for my best friend.
Oh no.
I've been with him for a year or so
and he's kind
Loving and attentive
But we went out
With all my friends
A couple of weeks ago
And my boyfriend
Spent a lot of the evening
Talking to my best friend
I didn't mind
And I was glad
To chat to everyone else
Since then
A few comments he's made
Have had me thinking
That he's got her on his mind
He said that she's
Really clever
And they chatted about
Loads of stuff
That don't interest me at all.
He asked how long ago her relationship ended.
I don't think that she's leading him on at all.
I'm just sure it's all in his own mind.
But I keep going over it.
And even when we have sex, it just keeps flashing in my mind.
Oh, dear.
Ah, is my boyfriend going to shag my best friend and ruin my life?
Hell, no.
No. Spenny is obsessed
with Joanne
I was just about to say
I don't want to embarrass
Alan
but if he
mentions Vogue
one more time
I'm like
Alan like
it's
it never stops
when you come on the phone
what does Vogue think about that
what does Vogue think about that
Joanne
what does Vogue
if we have a fight
I bet you Vogue
would agree with me
it's just constant
and you know on
Insta when there's
like a you know
the most watched
people it's usually
I'm the first video
and Vogue's always
the second video
he is bat in to
Vogue
well when I call
you or if you're
on the phone or
something and
Spenny hears your
voice his whole
face lights up and
he just looks
everywhere for you
he's like a little
dog
he's very cute
so obsessed do you know what I think it is and this is probably The whole face lights up And he just looks everywhere for you He's like a little dog He's very cute So obsessed
Do you know what I think it is
And this is probably sexist and stereotypical
But fuck it we're in it now
Go on
We've never been one to ignore a stereotype
Don't shy away
Don't shy away from the obvious
Is that men
From my experience
Don't attack me,
don't have a lot of female friends.
Yeah.
So when they get a woman
in their life by default,
which is usually
through their girlfriend,
who they spend a lot of time with
and they get on with,
they have it like
what we would call a,
it's platonic,
but they just are very,
they just are kind of drawn to them
because it's something new for them.
Yeah.
They're allowed to spend time with this other woman.
It's not sexual.
They get to know each other, have a laugh.
They get on.
They have good conversations.
But it's not, they're not going to ride.
It's just a mutual appreciation.
Yeah.
Because like I say, they don't, men, well, the men that I know anyway,
their friendships would be predominantly with other men.
Yeah. That's all it is. I predominantly with other men yeah that's all it is
I'm telling you now
that's all it is
yeah I would not be worried
about that at all
and I kind of love
that Fanny likes you so much
it's a nice thing
to have your boyfriend
like your friends
and it's nice that Alan
likes you too
I do think it is nice
I tease him about it
tell him I said I miss him
I will
yeah
it's like
and sometimes
why are you hanging out
for Fogg's insta stories
she's just a good friend
I just
really admire her
well sometimes
okay
when I'm tired
Joanne takes the reins
with Spenna
and she sorts him out
for me
that's what friends do
yes
and also
you're like
A
it's not
it's not sexual
on his part
like I say
it's just
a kind of
a respect
or
it's a new interest
she's a bit
she's got
there's a bit
of novelty there
because it's a new
woman in his life
but it's not sexual
I would
I would put my
well not my life
not my life
I wouldn't put my life
let's be realistic here
I do think
what you're saying
is true
because even
spending with Amber
like he's very close
with her
Amber's a lesbian
she's definitely
not going to go there
yeah
it's not
it's a very
Alan and Amber
get on like a
bloody house on fire
oh my god
he's like
is Amber going to be there
is Amber going to be there
is Amber going to be there
she's dead
is he going to
shoot me or Amber
he has to choose one
he'd shoot Amber
wouldn't he
he'd shoot Amber, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
That's okay.
One shot's up.
Because at least he can maybe hook up with you.
Do you know what I mean?
You know.
You know what I mean?
So don't worry.
We don't think your best friend and your boyfriend are going to get together.
I'd just be happy that they're friends.
Exactly.
It's nice that they get on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it'd be worse if you have one of those boyfriends who thinks all your friends are
a dick and then you won't go anywhere and blah, blah, blah.
You know, we've all had them.
Yeah.
They're actually way worse.
Forgot about that.
They are.
I'd rather Alan rode Vogue than wouldn't be in a room with her, to be honest.
It would make socialising way easier if they just did it behind my back and I didn't know
and he was always just pleased to see her.
Instead of being like,
I'm not going to Vogue's there.
I'm like, fuck's sake.
Vogue's everywhere with me.
Come on.
Come on, we're joined together.
We have started morphing into each other.
We were going through the airport the other day.
Same sunglasses, same handbag.
Yeah, I know.
It's cute.
It's cute.
And I'm cutting my hair into a blonde bob next week.
I'm not even joking.
Yeah.
It's getting single white
female now Vogue
and who
also
to top it all off
someone lost their passport
and it wasn't me
oh wow
wow
it's telltales on me there
I was like
oh
I was like
oh my god Vogue
she was like
oh my god my passport
we were on the way to the airport
to fly from Edinburgh to Cardiff
and she's like
oh my god I have no passport
and I was like
I'm so proud of you
I was there looking
this is beautiful
I was looking up trains
it was going to take me
seven hours
to get there on a train
and then
luckily
I had four bank cards
and I had a
I counted 19
she whipped out
19 bank cards
on the counter
even your man
in the high vids
was like whoa
all these bank cards
I was like please
It's me
It's me
Yeah
Six grand in cash
Just out of her wallet
She's like fuck
They let her on
Yeah so I got on
I got on
I did get on thankfully
I don't know how that happened
To be fair
I did have a copy
Of my driver's license
And a copy of my passport
So
Because it was domestic
I don't think it matters
Let's not name the airline
Just in case
it was illegal
but they were very kind to us
and well Vogue
and they let her on
yeah
that's it for the bonus episode
this week
we shall see you
Friday
yes Thank you.