My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Giraffes Fighting!"
Episode Date: March 23, 2022Joanne has a challenge for Vogue this week... Theodore's animal knowledge is spot on, but has Vogue picked any of it up? It's animal quiz time! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to ...hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to our extra helping of My Therapist Ghosted Me because we can't get
enough of each other but just twice a week when we do the two pods. It's extra an extra
little dollop. Everyone likes an extra dollop of mayonnaise. An extra dollop of ghosting.
I got sent a box of buffalo hunky-dories a box
full box
sorry
sorry to
jump there
speaking of buffaloes
yeah
of course
you're one Heidi Montag
chewing on that
bison's heart
unacceptable
sorry now
if your career
like I just think
pure stunts like that
I think it's just,
if your career's
in the bin
so badly
that you need to be eating
raw meat
on the street
for attention,
let it go.
Go into production.
Sorry Jo.
Do you know what though?
Do you know what though?
Stay in the biz.
Go behind the scenes.
Just let it go.
Now,
bearing in mind,
if you see me eating a fish
out of a sandwich bag in 10 years time in the middle of soho square say nothing right the thing
about it is she was actually she was talking about why she eats raw liver absolutely revolting but
now she's like she's gotten a bit of traction online and she's literally going around with a
ziploc bag with this huge liver in it and like you can see the retch on her face you know when you're literally like
you cannot hold it
like she's retching into the Ziploc
bag because like even the smell
of that would be disgusting I've never
seen it it's just
it's outrageous is what it is
I do love a publicity stunt I want to
let's try and go into publicity stunts
next week okay like you and Spencer that's
a great one
I knew you were going to say that
Crufts was on
I'm not
I think
I still have a lot of love
to give to animals
have you
do you know there's a dog
who's given 30 blood donations
for other dogs
well I don't think
he's personally given them
but like
Joanne
he hasn't given
any blood donations
imagine going into a hospital
getting a blood transfusion
like who do they come from
they're like a Labrador
called Scully
well excuse me
you can have a pig's heart
your man died
oh god
I know
really
like how do you know that
how do you know
that the follow up to that
do you have a google alert I read about it where where do you know that how do you know that the follow up to that do you have a google alert
I read about it
where
where do you get your news
I thought you read
the times and shit
I do
this
sorry that story
would be in the times
that's a huge
it was like heralded
as this massive
like
medical
phenomenon
because do you remember
we spoke about it before
it wasn't that long ago
that they
and they thought
it was
but this is the thing
they'll trial and error
and it'll probably work eventually
it got me thinking
do you know what blood type you are
I've never given blood
and I actually feel
I've been meaning to do it
for ages
I'm not sure
they'd want your blood
my blood would be
very relaxing
to have in your body
I don't you know what I have given blood My blood would be very relaxing to have in your body.
I don't,
you know what, I have given blood
and they give you a snack after.
They used to give you
a pint of Guinness
but then some idiot
fell down the stairs
and they stopped it.
Ruined it for everyone.
I don't remember
what blood type I am though.
At all.
I just don't know.
I wonder where I'd find that out.
O is the most common.
Oh, well then I'm probably not O
because I'm not common.
Good work.
Sorry, Crufts was on,
which is basically like
a beauty pageant for dogs
and it's just such
hellsome content.
Like,
you could just watch them all day.
My favorite is in Crufts.
Do you ever watch it?
When one of the dogs goes rogue
and it's supposed to be
doing an agility test
like in Birmingham
and it ends up like
covered in chicken juice
on a tube somewhere
like it just goes
completely bananas
it's like
shooting up in London
then like at the end
of the agility
like they're just so fun
absolutely
good for the cell
if you're feeling a bit down
you should go on and google
Crufts
watch a bit of Crufts
watch a bit get a bit of crufts watch a bit of
get a bit of crufts
I used to go to the dog show
I used to go to the dog show
every good Friday
with the child
you went to the dog show
well that's a nice thing
to do with your kids
that's the thing
when you have kids
you just literally
have to think of
the weirdest shit
that you have to do
with them ever
Theodore's obsessed
with animals too
obsessed
with animals
I know everything
about most animals now
I wanted to give you an animal quiz.
Theodore would know all these.
Ah, come on.
No, he wouldn't know.
This is high end.
This is a high end animal quiz.
He is incredibly intelligent.
Vogue, are you ready
for your animal trivia test?
Yes.
A blue whale.
Vogue, if you're not going to take this seriously,
we're not doing it
No okay I won't do it again
I want to do the quiz
Okay
Vogue Williams
I put to you
How long is an elephant
Pregnant before it gives birth
20 months
It's 22
Are you googling this shit
This is going to have to do
We're going to have to do this,
who wants to be a millionaire.
How can I Google
what you gave me
half a second to answer?
We're going to have to,
who wants to be a millionaire,
they send a member
of the production team
to the house.
So I'm going to have to send
Jo to your house now.
It's 22 months.
Close enough.
Which part of the dog's body
does it sweat through?
Nose
Tongue
I'm not surprised you don't know this
Considering you've never touched him from the neck down
It's his paws
Because you hate your dog's body
I don't hate his body
I just wouldn't pay to stuff it
Why are flamingos pink?
Because it's the nicest colour
It's actually their diet It's algae, shrimps and crustaceans Wow Why are flamingos pink? Because it's the nicest colour.
It's actually their diet.
Algae, shrimps and crustaceans.
Wow.
Okay.
What colour is the tongue of a giraffe?
Black.
Purple.
Blacky purple.
I'll take it.
Apparently that's so that it doesn't get sunburned When it's eating They do spend a long time eating
Have you ever seen them
Have a scrap
Giraffes
Have you ever seen
A giraffe fight
No how have you seen
A giraffe fight
Go and google
Because I told you
I know everything
What do you do
At the weekends
Excuse me
What do you do
You're sitting there
Watching Crufts
Slagging me
Are you sure
Hold on a second
Are you talking about
Giraffes in like
The kind of In monkey music Or actual giraff you talking about giraffes in like the kind of
in monkey music
or actual giraffes?
Actual giraffes.
Just I want to see your reaction.
YouTube,
giraffes fighting.
I can't believe
you of all people
haven't seen giraffes fighting.
Well,
oh, look at
that's not
that genuinely looks
like a movement to music.
I'm pretty sure I paid
to watch that on stage somewhere.
That is so dramatic. Are they actually fighting are you sure they're fighting that's how they scrap they absolutely belt each other with their necks I could probably do that actually I'm gonna
start using my neck more in fights that's amazing that's yeah that's art like if they applied for
funding they'd probably get it. That's insane.
Like synchronised swimmer out of the water.
That's gorgeous.
Go on more. I want to go back to the quiz. I love this quiz.
Okay.
Probably because I'm brilliant at it.
But it is for children.
What do you call a group of ferrets?
Ferreties.
A business.
A business. Apparently because it was like, I think it came from busyness. So you'd be like, look, there's a business a business
apparently because it was like
I think it came from busyness
so you'd be like
look there's a business of ferrets
they do
they do
they're always very busy
they've got something going on
all the time
they're like you
that's what I'm going to call you
from now on
busy busy busy
I like a ferret
you can buy them on the streets
in Barcelona
well that shouldn't be allowed
I'm going to Barcelona for what? to buy a ferret obviously what's a group of kittens called? Why are they on the streets in Barcelona? Well, that shouldn't be allowed.
Go to Barcelona for what?
To buy a ferret, obviously.
What's a group of kittens called?
A litter.
Kindle.
Kindle?
What are the horns of a rhinoceros made out of?
Ivory.
Hair.
Do you want to get Theodore in here?
You are failing bad.
Well, why are they killing the rhinos then if it's made out of hair How do sea otters
Keep from drifting apart
While they sleep
Hold hands
I know
Hold hands
But I will tell you
Look how cute they are
They would honestly
Scratch your face off
They'd rip the head off you
Which name
Benny and I were actually
Reading this thing on our pod
About this man right
And he actually got arrested for it
He was locked on a two-day bender
and he used a...
It's not funny
because I feel sorry
for the seagull as well.
But he picked up a seagull
and started like attacking
somebody with the seagull.
Seagulls are rough.
Rough.
I think that's it
for the animal trivias.
Okay, well I didn't do great at that
but they were stupid questions
if you ask me okay I'm going to do a quiz
for Joanne next week
final question
what animal breeds
out of its ass
that's so gross
these sound like cracker jokes
but it's true
I guess some kind of reptile
a turtle really a turtle breeds out of his arse his breath must stink That's so gross. These sound like cracker jokes, but it's true. I guess some kind of reptile. A turtle.
Really?
A turtle breathes out of his arse.
His breath must stink.
What do snakes use to smell?
Their skin.
Their tongue.
You're,
you're no vet anyway.
You don't need to know anything.
You're a model.
It's grime.
I find that so offensive
when people put that as my bio.
Honestly,
it really annoys me.
I did a shoot for
Spenny last week
and they were sending out
this press relief
and it was like
Vogue Williams model
it's like seriously
if anyone fucking
Googles that
it's like they're
trolling me
the reason that's in my head
is because the chat show
we did listed you
as a model
what
on the Instagram
it says comedian
drama model
Vogue Williams
please like
can I do anything else
to make that go away
like it's not
modeling when you've
got your head
inside a giant
burger
it's they're
trolling me
that's what's
happening
it's art
when you've
got your head
inside a giant
burger
it's art
you're an artist
you're an artist
don't let anyone
take that away from you
got a hundred euro
for that
minus
management fees
and tax
so I got two euro for that
Folk I'll look after the boys
Yours are too long
Okay well
Well this one's taking quite a while
Bye
I'm on tour
She sells tan
Good luck
Plug pluggy Plug plug done bye I'm on tour she sells tan good luck
plug pluggy
plug plug done Thank you.