My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Giraffes Fighting!"

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Joanne has a challenge for Vogue this week... Theodore's animal knowledge is spot on, but has Vogue picked any of it up? It's animal quiz time! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to ...hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to our extra helping of My Therapist Ghosted Me because we can't get enough of each other but just twice a week when we do the two pods. It's extra an extra little dollop. Everyone likes an extra dollop of mayonnaise. An extra dollop of ghosting. I got sent a box of buffalo hunky-dories a box full box sorry sorry to jump there
Starting point is 00:00:28 speaking of buffaloes yeah of course you're one Heidi Montag chewing on that bison's heart unacceptable sorry now
Starting point is 00:00:40 if your career like I just think pure stunts like that I think it's just, if your career's in the bin so badly that you need to be eating
Starting point is 00:00:48 raw meat on the street for attention, let it go. Go into production. Sorry Jo. Do you know what though? Do you know what though?
Starting point is 00:01:00 Stay in the biz. Go behind the scenes. Just let it go. Now, bearing in mind, if you see me eating a fish out of a sandwich bag in 10 years time in the middle of soho square say nothing right the thing about it is she was actually she was talking about why she eats raw liver absolutely revolting but
Starting point is 00:01:16 now she's like she's gotten a bit of traction online and she's literally going around with a ziploc bag with this huge liver in it and like you can see the retch on her face you know when you're literally like you cannot hold it like she's retching into the Ziploc bag because like even the smell of that would be disgusting I've never seen it it's just it's outrageous is what it is
Starting point is 00:01:38 I do love a publicity stunt I want to let's try and go into publicity stunts next week okay like you and Spencer that's a great one I knew you were going to say that Crufts was on I'm not I think
Starting point is 00:01:55 I still have a lot of love to give to animals have you do you know there's a dog who's given 30 blood donations for other dogs well I don't think he's personally given them
Starting point is 00:02:05 but like Joanne he hasn't given any blood donations imagine going into a hospital getting a blood transfusion like who do they come from they're like a Labrador
Starting point is 00:02:13 called Scully well excuse me you can have a pig's heart your man died oh god I know really like how do you know that
Starting point is 00:02:21 how do you know that the follow up to that do you have a google alert I read about it where where do you know that how do you know that the follow up to that do you have a google alert I read about it where where do you get your news I thought you read the times and shit
Starting point is 00:02:32 I do this sorry that story would be in the times that's a huge it was like heralded as this massive like
Starting point is 00:02:40 medical phenomenon because do you remember we spoke about it before it wasn't that long ago that they and they thought it was
Starting point is 00:02:46 but this is the thing they'll trial and error and it'll probably work eventually it got me thinking do you know what blood type you are I've never given blood and I actually feel I've been meaning to do it
Starting point is 00:02:55 for ages I'm not sure they'd want your blood my blood would be very relaxing to have in your body I don't you know what I have given blood My blood would be very relaxing to have in your body. I don't,
Starting point is 00:03:08 you know what, I have given blood and they give you a snack after. They used to give you a pint of Guinness but then some idiot fell down the stairs and they stopped it. Ruined it for everyone.
Starting point is 00:03:17 I don't remember what blood type I am though. At all. I just don't know. I wonder where I'd find that out. O is the most common. Oh, well then I'm probably not O because I'm not common.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Good work. Sorry, Crufts was on, which is basically like a beauty pageant for dogs and it's just such hellsome content. Like, you could just watch them all day.
Starting point is 00:03:40 My favorite is in Crufts. Do you ever watch it? When one of the dogs goes rogue and it's supposed to be doing an agility test like in Birmingham and it ends up like covered in chicken juice
Starting point is 00:03:50 on a tube somewhere like it just goes completely bananas it's like shooting up in London then like at the end of the agility like they're just so fun
Starting point is 00:03:58 absolutely good for the cell if you're feeling a bit down you should go on and google Crufts watch a bit of Crufts watch a bit get a bit of crufts watch a bit of get a bit of crufts
Starting point is 00:04:06 I used to go to the dog show I used to go to the dog show every good Friday with the child you went to the dog show well that's a nice thing to do with your kids that's the thing
Starting point is 00:04:14 when you have kids you just literally have to think of the weirdest shit that you have to do with them ever Theodore's obsessed with animals too
Starting point is 00:04:19 obsessed with animals I know everything about most animals now I wanted to give you an animal quiz. Theodore would know all these. Ah, come on. No, he wouldn't know.
Starting point is 00:04:30 This is high end. This is a high end animal quiz. He is incredibly intelligent. Vogue, are you ready for your animal trivia test? Yes. A blue whale. Vogue, if you're not going to take this seriously,
Starting point is 00:04:44 we're not doing it No okay I won't do it again I want to do the quiz Okay Vogue Williams I put to you How long is an elephant Pregnant before it gives birth
Starting point is 00:04:58 20 months It's 22 Are you googling this shit This is going to have to do We're going to have to do this, who wants to be a millionaire. How can I Google what you gave me
Starting point is 00:05:08 half a second to answer? We're going to have to, who wants to be a millionaire, they send a member of the production team to the house. So I'm going to have to send Jo to your house now.
Starting point is 00:05:18 It's 22 months. Close enough. Which part of the dog's body does it sweat through? Nose Tongue I'm not surprised you don't know this Considering you've never touched him from the neck down
Starting point is 00:05:30 It's his paws Because you hate your dog's body I don't hate his body I just wouldn't pay to stuff it Why are flamingos pink? Because it's the nicest colour It's actually their diet It's algae, shrimps and crustaceans Wow Why are flamingos pink? Because it's the nicest colour. It's actually their diet.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Algae, shrimps and crustaceans. Wow. Okay. What colour is the tongue of a giraffe? Black. Purple. Blacky purple. I'll take it.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Apparently that's so that it doesn't get sunburned When it's eating They do spend a long time eating Have you ever seen them Have a scrap Giraffes Have you ever seen A giraffe fight No how have you seen A giraffe fight
Starting point is 00:06:13 Go and google Because I told you I know everything What do you do At the weekends Excuse me What do you do You're sitting there
Starting point is 00:06:19 Watching Crufts Slagging me Are you sure Hold on a second Are you talking about Giraffes in like The kind of In monkey music Or actual giraff you talking about giraffes in like the kind of in monkey music
Starting point is 00:06:25 or actual giraffes? Actual giraffes. Just I want to see your reaction. YouTube, giraffes fighting. I can't believe you of all people haven't seen giraffes fighting.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Well, oh, look at that's not that genuinely looks like a movement to music. I'm pretty sure I paid to watch that on stage somewhere. That is so dramatic. Are they actually fighting are you sure they're fighting that's how they scrap they absolutely belt each other with their necks I could probably do that actually I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:06:55 start using my neck more in fights that's amazing that's yeah that's art like if they applied for funding they'd probably get it. That's insane. Like synchronised swimmer out of the water. That's gorgeous. Go on more. I want to go back to the quiz. I love this quiz. Okay. Probably because I'm brilliant at it. But it is for children.
Starting point is 00:07:17 What do you call a group of ferrets? Ferreties. A business. A business. Apparently because it was like, I think it came from busyness. So you'd be like, look, there's a business a business apparently because it was like I think it came from busyness so you'd be like look there's a business of ferrets
Starting point is 00:07:29 they do they do they're always very busy they've got something going on all the time they're like you that's what I'm going to call you from now on
Starting point is 00:07:37 busy busy busy I like a ferret you can buy them on the streets in Barcelona well that shouldn't be allowed I'm going to Barcelona for what? to buy a ferret obviously what's a group of kittens called? Why are they on the streets in Barcelona? Well, that shouldn't be allowed. Go to Barcelona for what? To buy a ferret, obviously.
Starting point is 00:07:49 What's a group of kittens called? A litter. Kindle. Kindle? What are the horns of a rhinoceros made out of? Ivory. Hair. Do you want to get Theodore in here?
Starting point is 00:08:01 You are failing bad. Well, why are they killing the rhinos then if it's made out of hair How do sea otters Keep from drifting apart While they sleep Hold hands I know Hold hands But I will tell you
Starting point is 00:08:13 Look how cute they are They would honestly Scratch your face off They'd rip the head off you Which name Benny and I were actually Reading this thing on our pod About this man right
Starting point is 00:08:22 And he actually got arrested for it He was locked on a two-day bender and he used a... It's not funny because I feel sorry for the seagull as well. But he picked up a seagull and started like attacking
Starting point is 00:08:33 somebody with the seagull. Seagulls are rough. Rough. I think that's it for the animal trivias. Okay, well I didn't do great at that but they were stupid questions if you ask me okay I'm going to do a quiz
Starting point is 00:08:55 for Joanne next week final question what animal breeds out of its ass that's so gross these sound like cracker jokes but it's true I guess some kind of reptile
Starting point is 00:09:04 a turtle really a turtle breeds out of his arse his breath must stink That's so gross. These sound like cracker jokes, but it's true. I guess some kind of reptile. A turtle. Really? A turtle breathes out of his arse. His breath must stink. What do snakes use to smell? Their skin. Their tongue. You're,
Starting point is 00:09:15 you're no vet anyway. You don't need to know anything. You're a model. It's grime. I find that so offensive when people put that as my bio. Honestly, it really annoys me.
Starting point is 00:09:24 I did a shoot for Spenny last week and they were sending out this press relief and it was like Vogue Williams model it's like seriously if anyone fucking
Starting point is 00:09:31 Googles that it's like they're trolling me the reason that's in my head is because the chat show we did listed you as a model what
Starting point is 00:09:39 on the Instagram it says comedian drama model Vogue Williams please like can I do anything else to make that go away like it's not
Starting point is 00:09:47 modeling when you've got your head inside a giant burger it's they're trolling me that's what's happening
Starting point is 00:09:51 it's art when you've got your head inside a giant burger it's art you're an artist you're an artist
Starting point is 00:09:56 don't let anyone take that away from you got a hundred euro for that minus management fees and tax so I got two euro for that
Starting point is 00:10:06 Folk I'll look after the boys Yours are too long Okay well Well this one's taking quite a while Bye I'm on tour She sells tan Good luck
Starting point is 00:10:24 Plug pluggy Plug plug done bye I'm on tour she sells tan good luck plug pluggy plug plug done Thank you.

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