My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I Reluctantly Said Yes..."
Episode Date: July 6, 2022Have you sent your morto story in for Vogue & Joanne to read over yet? Why not!? This week, there are a couple of absolute ZINGERS. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMp...od.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Me with myself, Dramma
McNally. I am still Dramma McNally, she is still Val Williams.
Yes, yes I am.
This woman in Brazil, these stories always come out of Brazil. I don't know what's going
on over there, these wild stories. this woman, she's known to dance
with, so her mum knitted her
a rag doll boyfriend
who she then drags around and now is her
lifelong partner, she married him
and it's in the papers, she's after giving birth
to a rag doll, like
at what point do we say this woman's
clearly, like where's the line between bit of crack
and mentally unwell, I don't know where it is
but this woman's certainly circling the plug hole of both there's a there's a word for it though that
they like when people are married to something really weird there's there's what is it there's
a word for it i looked this up right there's a woman that's married to a tetris video game
fair quite attractive one that i did agree with fully fully agreed with this woman
was married to her duvet and she said it's the longest strongest most intimate and reliable
relationship that she's ever had a woman in ireland joanne a woman in ireland was married to
um a pirate ghost she married him in ireland and like oh yeah yeah i think i've heard of her she's
from drada yeah and like that's someone's mom like that's not fair if you're committed to a ragdoll She married him in Ireland. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I've heard of her, yeah. She's from Drogheda, yeah.
And, like, that's someone's mom.
Like, that's not fair.
If you're committed to a rag doll, you need to be committed.
That's my final take on it.
You can't niche yourself a fella.
She's the only woman I know who's stabbed a man into existence
rather than out of existence.
You know, imagine that was, like, she's here at theatre
and, like, they grew up and they're like
i want to marry a couch i'd be like no you're not marrying the couch at least not that one
but did you see the photo of her like at the birth of the rag doll i can't she says she put
on weight during the i mean is she i assume she's trolling if i don't know i don't know
it's so bizarre but did you see the photos of her wedding people are at her wedding
and she's dancing with the doll makes me feel weird inside do you ever get like that and now i'm like i feel
like yeah i'm icky i feel icky inside that's what it is yeah fair enough um okay last year my husband
left me after we're married nine years he said there's no one else but the fact that he turned
45 and started dressing like a peacock and working late was suspicious i found out with the help of my sister's facebook skills honest she's like sherlock that he
left me for a 24 year old hairdresser lord knows why he couldn't have just told me that oh no
one two skip a few they never admit us they never admit never tell you honestly even after you break
up they won't tell you uh one two skip a few and i hadn't spoken to
him in six months when he turned up at my door in tears and drunk as a boiled owl saying he wanted
to come back to me i sent him on his way but i couldn't work out why he turned up until three
days later when i found out the young one was pregnant that's right the bloke who never wanted
kids and pushing 50 is in the waiting to become a dad i can't see how coming back to his ex-wife
was going to help him run away from that kind of responsibility.
Clown.
Our favorite word, Joanne.
I am so, this woman, I mean, I don't know her, but I feel a certain amount of pride for her that she's, she sounds, I mean, we're obviously only getting the email, but she sounds like she's dealing with it quite well.
I would be in an asylum.
Joanne.
sounds like she's dealing with it quite well i would be in an asylum joanne i would be in a straight jacket chained to a radiator beating my head off a padded wall if that happened to me
but like i'd be on the dark web looking for a hitman
i'd watch him assassinated i've heard of a couple of people i know that have broken up and you want
to see i've never seen something like it no screaming no shouting no texting no begging I couldn't believe it I'm like they just walked away
are you sure they broke up or did one of them just die because that doesn't sound like that
doesn't sound like a breakup that I can relate to at all it doesn't sound like any of my breakups
but supposedly that that's what the kids are doing these days they're so emotionally evolved these days but
that poor woman i'm so sorry that happened to you i know well like i i love men but they can really
do a number on you can't they and of course she's 24 of course it's always i know but i'll tell you
one thing right he is 45 and having kids is no walk in the park honestly I am telling you he is not having an easy time
and no better place for him
I hope their child
never sleeps
did you think
I hope that child
has colic
till it's 18 years of age
oh my god yeah
throw colic in the mix
100%
and a bit of tongue tie
why not while we're at it
yeah and I hope
it's shit at sports
I hope that child
makes a show out of you
on sports day
for the rest of your life
I was thinking that
right
tea sports day
coming up
he's missing it
and I know he's good
at stuff but like
what like an egg
and spoon race
what's he going to do
I don't give a shit
if it's a sack race
an egg and spoon race
if he doesn't win
I'm going home
without him
absolutely but he's in a part school they probably do baby fencing and stuff do spoon weight. If he doesn't win, I'm going home without him. Absolutely.
But he's in a posh school.
They probably do baby fencing and stuff,
do they?
Like, what's he doing?
Baby javelin.
His school isn't posh.
I actually,
I walked by it one day
and they had,
they had turned a dustbin
into a Wendy house.
So, you know,
those huge dustbins on wheels.
I'm like, what the,
what am I spending the money on?
Why is he playing in a bin
oh that's so cute
ah listen
he's having fun
he's having fun
I got him a bin
for his birthday
I can see
if you're that competitive
with imagine
Joey found out
that Vogue had been
doping Theodore
getting him ready
for his sports day
yeah he's likeping Theodore getting him ready for his sports day.
Yeah, he's like, wow, Theodore's really beefed up.
Who said you can't
give your kids Red Bull?
Theodore, run!
I love it if he was done. Imagine they did a drug
test on him and they found
drugs in his urine.
I'm not drugging my child, by the way.
This is going to be Jermaine's next stage joke.
Her next joke on the stage.
Don't put that on your show now.
Don't put that on your show.
Do people say that to you?
Does your mom say it to you?
All the time.
I obviously get,
don't put that in the podcast.
That's fine. Yeah, don't put that on the show. Or a lot of the time i obviously get don't put that in the podcast and that's fine yeah don't put that
in the show yeah or a lot of the time from taxi drivers they'll say you can have that one you can
put that in the show i'm like you're all right thanks which you're a paddy englishman paddy
irishman but he's got some a joke i'm good i'm good very generous of them okay we'll read one
more email when i was in my early 20s
I was going out with this fella
we'd been seeing each other
for about six months
and he thought he was a perfect time
to move our relationship
to the next level
anal
having never done this before
and being quite easily led
by the D
I obliged
it was not enjoyable
but he was delighted with himself
so naturally
as a subservient female
I pretended to be delighted too
the following day
I woke up with the worst stomach pains I shouted out to my mom and she was up the walls diagnosing
me with appendicitis eventually got to see a nurse she asked if I wanted my mom to come in and sure I
wasn't too fazed so she came the nurse ran through a few questions age medication blah blah blah she
then asked if I had sexual intercourse in the last 48 hours the silence in the room was deafening
the next question was could
i have ever been imagined to ask in front of my mother have you had anal penetration in the last
44 hours i thought about lying but then i thought it might be something to do with that so i
reluctantly said yes oh my god to cut to cut a very long story short i was diagnosed with fear
To cut a very long story short, I was diagnosed with severe constipation.
Oh, no.
It was a quiet drive home.
Also, just to add, when the nurse asked if I smoked, which I did, I gave it a fine no.
So basically, I'm happy for my mom to know that I like taking it up the arse. But God forbid, I should have a few smokes on a Saturday night.
That is so funny.
I literally could have written that email myself. Like, that is so, I literally could have written that email myself like that is so
that's brilliant
if I was on my absolute deathbed
and they said you had to admit to that
or else you're going to die
I'd choose death
I would choose death as well
oh my god
but then saying no to the smoking is the best part.
So did the anal cause the, did the anal cause the constipation?
Caused the constipation, it must have done.
I don't know.
Lads need to be more informed about lubricants.
Like you can't just whack it up there.
There's a system in place no
that poor girl
do you know what I mean
because he's
watching
too much Pornhub
or whatever
thinks he can just
this is the problem
with young people
watching porn
they're all choking
each other out and stuff
because they think
that's what sex is
yeah it's not
anal needs to be
incredibly slow
incredibly considered
says the anal queen
whoop whoop, whoop.
Listen, I've lived a life, okay?
I'm in my late 60s now.
If he wants to live, some lad wants to live out his anal fantasy,
you make sure he knows the rules and he knows what he's doing.
He hasn't watched a two-second YouTube video about it.
I never understand.
Men's obsessed with anals just because they're not supposed to be in there. It's an adventurous spirit, really second YouTube video about it. I never understand. Men's obsessed with anus
just because they're not supposed to be in there.
It's adventurous spirit, really.
We should commend it.
There you go.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be.
I mean, I mean, I'm not going to go.
It's like, it's like admitting certain things on the pod.
That's one of the things I will never say yes or no to.
We'll neither confirm nor deny.
Yeah, I will stand right on the fence.
Oh, I think I said sorry and siri thought i said siri
siri how much lubricant is essential siri get out go away go away out of that siri go away out of
that thanks for listening to the bonus episode and thank you so much
for buying tickets to the show
we're so excited to see you
Please drop us an email, we love hearing your
stories, we love hearing your funny
anecdotes and sad anecdotes and tragic
anecdotes and
mishaps and misadventures
and we love an out email
Are we still talking about emails?
Oh sorry, while we're here, just to say,
obviously all the usual things apply.
Birmingham, Yeovil, Sheffield.
If you could, if you wouldn't mind.
Birmingham's still not into you.
Jesus.
If you wouldn't mind.
Well, I've the hippodrome to sell.
Well, we know what I thought it was.
Hippo's ice skating around.
What did you think it was?
On a race course or something?
One of those cycling places.