My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I Reluctantly Said Yes..."

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Have you sent your morto story in for Vogue & Joanne to read over yet? Why not!? This week, there are a couple of absolute ZINGERS. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMp...od.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Me with myself, Dramma McNally. I am still Dramma McNally, she is still Val Williams. Yes, yes I am. This woman in Brazil, these stories always come out of Brazil. I don't know what's going on over there, these wild stories. this woman, she's known to dance with, so her mum knitted her a rag doll boyfriend who she then drags around and now is her
Starting point is 00:00:32 lifelong partner, she married him and it's in the papers, she's after giving birth to a rag doll, like at what point do we say this woman's clearly, like where's the line between bit of crack and mentally unwell, I don't know where it is but this woman's certainly circling the plug hole of both there's a there's a word for it though that they like when people are married to something really weird there's there's what is it there's
Starting point is 00:00:55 a word for it i looked this up right there's a woman that's married to a tetris video game fair quite attractive one that i did agree with fully fully agreed with this woman was married to her duvet and she said it's the longest strongest most intimate and reliable relationship that she's ever had a woman in ireland joanne a woman in ireland was married to um a pirate ghost she married him in ireland and like oh yeah yeah i think i've heard of her she's from drada yeah and like that's someone's mom like that's not fair if you're committed to a ragdoll She married him in Ireland. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I've heard of her, yeah. She's from Drogheda, yeah. And, like, that's someone's mom. Like, that's not fair.
Starting point is 00:01:27 If you're committed to a rag doll, you need to be committed. That's my final take on it. You can't niche yourself a fella. She's the only woman I know who's stabbed a man into existence rather than out of existence. You know, imagine that was, like, she's here at theatre and, like, they grew up and they're like i want to marry a couch i'd be like no you're not marrying the couch at least not that one
Starting point is 00:01:51 but did you see the photo of her like at the birth of the rag doll i can't she says she put on weight during the i mean is she i assume she's trolling if i don't know i don't know it's so bizarre but did you see the photos of her wedding people are at her wedding and she's dancing with the doll makes me feel weird inside do you ever get like that and now i'm like i feel like yeah i'm icky i feel icky inside that's what it is yeah fair enough um okay last year my husband left me after we're married nine years he said there's no one else but the fact that he turned 45 and started dressing like a peacock and working late was suspicious i found out with the help of my sister's facebook skills honest she's like sherlock that he left me for a 24 year old hairdresser lord knows why he couldn't have just told me that oh no
Starting point is 00:02:35 one two skip a few they never admit us they never admit never tell you honestly even after you break up they won't tell you uh one two skip a few and i hadn't spoken to him in six months when he turned up at my door in tears and drunk as a boiled owl saying he wanted to come back to me i sent him on his way but i couldn't work out why he turned up until three days later when i found out the young one was pregnant that's right the bloke who never wanted kids and pushing 50 is in the waiting to become a dad i can't see how coming back to his ex-wife was going to help him run away from that kind of responsibility. Clown.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Our favorite word, Joanne. I am so, this woman, I mean, I don't know her, but I feel a certain amount of pride for her that she's, she sounds, I mean, we're obviously only getting the email, but she sounds like she's dealing with it quite well. I would be in an asylum. Joanne. sounds like she's dealing with it quite well i would be in an asylum joanne i would be in a straight jacket chained to a radiator beating my head off a padded wall if that happened to me but like i'd be on the dark web looking for a hitman i'd watch him assassinated i've heard of a couple of people i know that have broken up and you want to see i've never seen something like it no screaming no shouting no texting no begging I couldn't believe it I'm like they just walked away
Starting point is 00:03:51 are you sure they broke up or did one of them just die because that doesn't sound like that doesn't sound like a breakup that I can relate to at all it doesn't sound like any of my breakups but supposedly that that's what the kids are doing these days they're so emotionally evolved these days but that poor woman i'm so sorry that happened to you i know well like i i love men but they can really do a number on you can't they and of course she's 24 of course it's always i know but i'll tell you one thing right he is 45 and having kids is no walk in the park honestly I am telling you he is not having an easy time and no better place for him I hope their child
Starting point is 00:04:27 never sleeps did you think I hope that child has colic till it's 18 years of age oh my god yeah throw colic in the mix 100%
Starting point is 00:04:41 and a bit of tongue tie why not while we're at it yeah and I hope it's shit at sports I hope that child makes a show out of you on sports day for the rest of your life
Starting point is 00:04:50 I was thinking that right tea sports day coming up he's missing it and I know he's good at stuff but like what like an egg
Starting point is 00:04:57 and spoon race what's he going to do I don't give a shit if it's a sack race an egg and spoon race if he doesn't win I'm going home without him
Starting point is 00:05:04 absolutely but he's in a part school they probably do baby fencing and stuff do spoon weight. If he doesn't win, I'm going home without him. Absolutely. But he's in a posh school. They probably do baby fencing and stuff, do they? Like, what's he doing? Baby javelin. His school isn't posh. I actually,
Starting point is 00:05:13 I walked by it one day and they had, they had turned a dustbin into a Wendy house. So, you know, those huge dustbins on wheels. I'm like, what the, what am I spending the money on?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Why is he playing in a bin oh that's so cute ah listen he's having fun he's having fun I got him a bin for his birthday I can see
Starting point is 00:05:37 if you're that competitive with imagine Joey found out that Vogue had been doping Theodore getting him ready for his sports day yeah he's likeping Theodore getting him ready for his sports day.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Yeah, he's like, wow, Theodore's really beefed up. Who said you can't give your kids Red Bull? Theodore, run! I love it if he was done. Imagine they did a drug test on him and they found drugs in his urine. I'm not drugging my child, by the way.
Starting point is 00:06:09 This is going to be Jermaine's next stage joke. Her next joke on the stage. Don't put that on your show now. Don't put that on your show. Do people say that to you? Does your mom say it to you? All the time. I obviously get,
Starting point is 00:06:23 don't put that in the podcast. That's fine. Yeah, don't put that on the show. Or a lot of the time i obviously get don't put that in the podcast and that's fine yeah don't put that in the show yeah or a lot of the time from taxi drivers they'll say you can have that one you can put that in the show i'm like you're all right thanks which you're a paddy englishman paddy irishman but he's got some a joke i'm good i'm good very generous of them okay we'll read one more email when i was in my early 20s I was going out with this fella we'd been seeing each other
Starting point is 00:06:47 for about six months and he thought he was a perfect time to move our relationship to the next level anal having never done this before and being quite easily led by the D
Starting point is 00:06:54 I obliged it was not enjoyable but he was delighted with himself so naturally as a subservient female I pretended to be delighted too the following day I woke up with the worst stomach pains I shouted out to my mom and she was up the walls diagnosing
Starting point is 00:07:09 me with appendicitis eventually got to see a nurse she asked if I wanted my mom to come in and sure I wasn't too fazed so she came the nurse ran through a few questions age medication blah blah blah she then asked if I had sexual intercourse in the last 48 hours the silence in the room was deafening the next question was could i have ever been imagined to ask in front of my mother have you had anal penetration in the last 44 hours i thought about lying but then i thought it might be something to do with that so i reluctantly said yes oh my god to cut to cut a very long story short i was diagnosed with fear To cut a very long story short, I was diagnosed with severe constipation.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Oh, no. It was a quiet drive home. Also, just to add, when the nurse asked if I smoked, which I did, I gave it a fine no. So basically, I'm happy for my mom to know that I like taking it up the arse. But God forbid, I should have a few smokes on a Saturday night. That is so funny. I literally could have written that email myself. Like, that is so, I literally could have written that email myself like that is so that's brilliant if I was on my absolute deathbed
Starting point is 00:08:12 and they said you had to admit to that or else you're going to die I'd choose death I would choose death as well oh my god but then saying no to the smoking is the best part. So did the anal cause the, did the anal cause the constipation? Caused the constipation, it must have done.
Starting point is 00:08:38 I don't know. Lads need to be more informed about lubricants. Like you can't just whack it up there. There's a system in place no that poor girl do you know what I mean because he's watching
Starting point is 00:08:49 too much Pornhub or whatever thinks he can just this is the problem with young people watching porn they're all choking each other out and stuff
Starting point is 00:08:55 because they think that's what sex is yeah it's not anal needs to be incredibly slow incredibly considered says the anal queen whoop whoop, whoop.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Listen, I've lived a life, okay? I'm in my late 60s now. If he wants to live, some lad wants to live out his anal fantasy, you make sure he knows the rules and he knows what he's doing. He hasn't watched a two-second YouTube video about it. I never understand. Men's obsessed with anals just because they're not supposed to be in there. It's an adventurous spirit, really second YouTube video about it. I never understand. Men's obsessed with anus just because they're not supposed to be in there.
Starting point is 00:09:27 It's adventurous spirit, really. We should commend it. There you go. Yeah. I wouldn't be. I mean, I mean, I'm not going to go. It's like, it's like admitting certain things on the pod. That's one of the things I will never say yes or no to.
Starting point is 00:09:39 We'll neither confirm nor deny. Yeah, I will stand right on the fence. Oh, I think I said sorry and siri thought i said siri siri how much lubricant is essential siri get out go away go away out of that siri go away out of that thanks for listening to the bonus episode and thank you so much for buying tickets to the show we're so excited to see you Please drop us an email, we love hearing your
Starting point is 00:10:11 stories, we love hearing your funny anecdotes and sad anecdotes and tragic anecdotes and mishaps and misadventures and we love an out email Are we still talking about emails? Oh sorry, while we're here, just to say, obviously all the usual things apply.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Birmingham, Yeovil, Sheffield. If you could, if you wouldn't mind. Birmingham's still not into you. Jesus. If you wouldn't mind. Well, I've the hippodrome to sell. Well, we know what I thought it was. Hippo's ice skating around.
Starting point is 00:10:45 What did you think it was? On a race course or something? One of those cycling places.

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