My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Is Kim K Sound?"

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

OMG WHAT?! As has been promised for AGES now, you're finally getting an extra helping from Vogue & Joanne!!! In these extra episodes, it's time for them to throw themselves into the hundreds of emails that they've kept asking for, but not doing anything about! Don't expect any particularly helpful replies, but there are PLENTY of your hilarious stories to get stuck into!If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comFinally... My Therapist Ghosted Me (and Joanne!) are shortlisted for a National Comedy Award!! Please vote here: https://www.thenationalcomedyawards.com/Thank you!

Hello and welcome to an extra helping of my therapist ghosted me with me Bo Williams and her Joanne McNally. Since we started we've been asking you to send emails in to hello at mtgmpod.com and we've been mostly not really doing anything with them. So it's time we did something with them which is what we're doing now. We're doing something with emails. We do. So keep sending your emails in because we're going to read them and see what we can do to help or probably hinder. Really. We're here to ruin lives.

Yeah, we're here to ruin lives. Right, Joanne, I'm going to do a Deb story. Right? It's from Aileen. Hi, ladies. As for the Deb stories, just thought I'd pass along my own.

I was working weekends in Super Value and was weak for this fella that works there. I love that saying. I mean, couldn't even talk to him, went red and crossed the road when I saw him kind of thing. She must be quark. Quarks are weak.

Yeah, possibly. Anyways, my cousin who was friends with him convinced me to ask him to my Deb. So like a dope, I did. Swear to God, it was definitely one of the hardest things I'd ever play, I'd ever had to do in my life up

to that point. Four kids later, so obviously been through worse since. He said yes and I was like, sorted. He has a car and all, so I was thrilled. His mom drove him to my house in the night and drove us to the bus stop allergic. On the bus he was telling me There's nothing more

humiliating than getting dropped to a bus stop by your mum like I still have to have it happen to me sometimes and as a ground woman

I'm like around the back around the back I'm like don't drop me at the bus stop I'm like nearly 50

oh my god I just can't on the bus he was telling me he was thinking of getting into breeding pedigree cows. Definitely somewhere down the country.

I was like, is this a euphemism for something? But no, he was actually genuine. Then on the night of the Debs, he scored with my cousin and to round the night out, he tore my dress up the front doing a wheelbarrow race. Anyways, they got married and I went to college. Grand, if they got married, that's alright. No, that's even worse.

You were the one before the one he met. Listen, his mom dropped him to the bus stops and he wants to do stuff at Pedigree Caves. She's alright. Aileen's alright. I can't help but think she's happy about that. Came back years later. It was Christmas and I was at the local

seeing all my friends with the hubby. I was pregnant with my first child and no joke, the bastard actually tried to chat me up at the bar and didn't recognise me. Close call is all I can say. God, how many close calls have you had? Well, I'll tell you this. You know the way I'm very cynical

about this kind of shit. If you married someone you met at your Debs, by this stage in your life, you're bored out of your tits. I'm just going to call it. You're not racing home to rip the goona off your wife after 20 years,

I can assure you. No, I don't think so. But that's me. Like, I'm very cynical. I should probably just keep my opinions to myself. I do think that you can, like, spice things up a bit.

Spenny and I are in a spice things up mode. Yeah? Paprika on the genitals? What are we talking? Paprika on the genitals. Couple of chili flakes on the vag? What are we talking about

instead of blue if you're using sweet chili what is it sweet chili sweet chili sauce sweet chili sauce I remember when you're talking about getting embarrassed

about the I was seeing this guy and he had a moped which at the time was like the coolest shit but he was driving me up a hill

and they still had the speed restrictor on it. I don't know how you get it off. It was so embarrassing. We were crawling up. There were snails passing us out. And I'm on the back thinking it's going to be the sexiest day of my life.

What's with that speed restrictor thing? Do you have to do a certain amount to get it off or something you have to have a special license to get it taken off so it was like basically driving

with the handbrake on and I was mort out like there was elderly people walking past us down to maths and all and we were like

still cool on a moped though at least you weren't dropped to the bus stop I love getting the bus Theodore's really into the bus these days can't get enough of the bus

there's nothing there's nothing better than when there's a guy that you were like obsessed with when you were younger and you see him now

and he's in bits there's nothing better there's nothing better in the whole world or even a guy in recent times and I'm like oh god

that's what you're up to now you fucking loser I know God riddance I know people say revenge is the life best lived I think revenge

is watching your ex decompose in front of your eyes 100% but like think about the people that you used to go out with in school

and you look at them now and you're like oh my god what was I thinking so Aileen must be delighted with herself there's one or two lads that I used to fancy

that are still holding up well but the rest of them are... There's nobody that I've... Falling apart at the seams. Falling apart at the seams. See, the great thing about a woman is we can do all the tweakments

and keep ourselves fresh. Men can do that too. I know, but they don't really. I'd say the generation below will but our generation don't. I think men tend to let themselves go. They do, don't they, Jo?

Well, can I tell you something about men as well? And I'm sorry, all the women listening. I should say, sweeping generalisations as always. Yeah, absolutely. But men age like a fine wine and women rot. That is not true. That is, Joanne, if we weren't doing stuff, getting our profilos and stuff like that, we'd rot.

Yeah, but we are getting them now. So now the power has changed that used to be the way it is sorry the real wrinkly brow on a man

I love that I love a silver fox well I can tell you now how am I still riding kids explain that okay mommy's still got it

mommy's still got it that's staying in, Jen. Joanna Vogue, just wondering if you can touch on this. I'm 32 and single. Not a bad looking gal. Dating is a fucking nightmare. Would literally rather a night out in Syria than go on Tinder or Bumble again. Did I write this? Anyway, I've been texting

a few lads over the last few months, you know, hoping at least one would be a gent and ask me on a date no all they want is a fucking pic of my tit or my arse like I have no tits

what would I send a picture of my pecs here you go babe like seriously it's 2021 why on earth are all lads still thinking it's amazing to ask girls

for sexy selfies like babe I'm not a fucking playboy magazine it isn't the only fans isn't onlyads still thinking it's amazing to ask girls for sexy selfies like babe I'm not a fucking Playboy magazine it isn't the only fans isn't only fans enough of them it has to be the biggest turn off for me

and I'm wondering why am I the only one feeling this you're not no I can't stand it anyway basically it's a pain in the hell and I'll see you later

and stop demanding photos or else you're dry come here this reminds me so much of our friend who I'm not going to name because I don't, I think one lad,

there was one lad I was chatting to and he was like, send us a nude and I said no and he kind of lost interest in me almost immediately. Not a fucking hope

would I do that. I said this before, I wouldn't even send nudes to my mother at this stage. No. If my mother was like, send me a nude, I need to get you measured

for something, I'd be like, no way. Not a hope. No way. Like, I'm ripe for a hacking. I'm ripe for hacking I'm ripe for hacking like my password is basically

Joanne1234 like I'm ripe for hacking plus I keep getting emails saying your password has been seen on blah blah blah blah blah change your password and you just don't bother

your hula hoop but not even that like it kind of takes the fun away from everything that's gonna go down and everything that's gonna happen like and as well but I have heard of girls who have like specific folders where they've done like really nice pictures Not even that. Like, it kind of takes the fun away from everything that's going to go down and everything that's going to happen. And as well,

but I have heard of girls who have like specific folders where they've done like really nice pictures and certain lights and stuff like that. Oh yeah, we talked about that before. They have a folder of nudes ready to go. But our mutual friend, she always gets the,

can I come over? Like, you know, she's chatting to them hoping they'll have a nice dinner. Ah, she's probably sent an old nude though. No, she's not. Who's she not? No, but anyway,

she sent me this, so funny, recently this lad, she thought they were having a really nice civilised conversation and then he was like, how about this? Like, just out of nowhere and it was a train

kind of burying through a cave. It was anal, like. What? It was anal. I was like, because she was like, oh, dinner would be lovely and then that came through. He hit her with the anal train? Well, like, it she was like, oh, dinner would be lovely and then that came through.

He hit her with the anal train. Well, like, it was obviously a euphemism because I was like, am I losing my mind? Is that, is he suggesting anal? She's like,

100%. Oh my God, like, you can't suggest anal. Like, that's even worse. You can't suggest anal until you're about a year in.

Or a fucking five drinks in. Don't be, like, this is drinks in don't be like this is I don't know my advice is always this was a bit of advice that we learned when we talked about sending nudes

one put a number on the nude that you send so that if they spread it around you know who spread it around

which I thought was really smart that's clever two keep your head out of it or obviously keep your head out of it

but like three don't send it she doesn't want like three, don't send it. She doesn't want to send it. Don't send it. Oh my God, don't send it. Don't feel like you need to send that shit. Like, rude. I've only sent one lad nudes.

Me too, but I got a good dick pic off somebody and like you'd know who it is. But lads don't care. Silly, silly mistake. Lads would be putting it up on their grid if it wasn't illegal. True, and actually it was a nice picture to be fair. Right, we're going to try something new, Joanne, okay?

We don't really know what's going to happen, but a couple of weeks ago in one of the pods, we were wondering whether or not Kim K is sound. So, I mean, I don't know, is she? Well, I'm pretty sure Pete Davidson is sound, but we don't know about Kim K. I suspect that she is. Anyway, apparently we have someone on the line now that might be able to help us answer the question. It's Amy. Amy. Hi. Hi, Amy. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, you're Irish. I'm from Leash, yeah. Oh, lovely, Amy. How are you Good you're Irish I'm from Leash yeah Oh lovely Amy

How are you today Vogue's pretending She knows where Leash is Great Even better now Chatting to you Joanne can fuck off Leash is where

Electric Picnic is Oh yeah that's true Joanne Leash is where Electric Picnic is And we have a lovely Prison as well Do you know the prison Poor Leash

I know I fancy Everyone in it I fancy everyone In that prison I date there Regularly Okay Amy We want to know Do you know the prison? Port Leash. I know, I fancy everyone in it. I fancy everyone in that prison. I date there regularly. Okay, Amy, we want to know, right? Is Kim K sound?

Okay, here goes. Oh my God. On a Wednesday afternoon, let's say about seven years ago, I was working in a cinema in Leash. Yeah? Yeah, I was doing my bits, you know yourself, making popcorn,

shoveling stuff. Shoveling stuff, yeah. Shoveling popcorn, sorry. This really tall dude came up and he was like, hey, I booked two tickets for Maleficent. Can I collect them?

And I was like, yeah, no problem. I know, I know. I know where you're going with this. Yeah, letter finish. And then all of a sudden, this gorgeous woman comes up the stairs and I was like, no way. And yeah, it a sudden, this gorgeous woman comes up the stairs. And I was like, no way.

And yeah, it was Kim Kardashian. Oh, my God. So she pops over. Like, this is gas. Like, it's in Portlaige. It's just gas. So she pops over to the counter and is like, hi, can I get a small popcorn and small Diet Coke? So I actually forgot she was Kim K and forgot she had loads of money.

So I was like, well, actually, it works out cheaper to get a medium I know and she was lovely and she was like oh sure thanks and it was fine so I put the popcorn in the medium bag there was probably more popcorn on the floor that was fine were you shaking were you nervous oh yeah I was bricking it. Yeah, I was like, oh, my God, what is going on? Like, she's gorgeous. My hair is in bits. What is going on? So then, anyways, I said to her, I was like, oh, would you like butter on your popcorn? And she was like, what?

And I said, oh, sorry, would you like butter on your popcorn? And then I was beetroot at this stage. Like, that was fine. There was more butter on the floor than on the popcorn. And then all of a sudden up pops Kanye and I was like I can't cope no yeah and I was like and I booked tickets to his concert which was like two weeks after that so I was like here I have to say something to this lad it's Kanye so I just said to him I I was like, oh, congratulations on your wedding. And he was like, thanks.

Oh, was he a dick? See, he didn't smile, but he said thank you. And I appreciated that he took like one second out of his time to even mutter thank you. So he's sound. Oh, he's sound.

Now, tell me more about Kim K. What does she look like? Amy, does she have pores? No, she doesn't. She does, but her skin is unreal. Like, unbelievable. Gorgeous bum. Gorgeous boobs. She's wearing like a black blazer. no she doesn't she does her skin is unreal like unbelievable gorgeous bum gorgeous boobs

she was wearing like a black blazer and like my co-worker like Jamie he popped in he was like who's your one and I couldn't even

say it to him like I was legit speechless for the rest of the day like so so she was just a big giant ride oh she's well not giant

she's absolutely tiny I was gonna say I'd say she's the size of a popcorn kernel. Yeah, I know. I was like, oh, I think she might need a hand with that.

I love your description. It's the most Irish description. Oh, Pops, can you? Oh, Pops, can you? Here comes Kanye. Pops, can you? And tell me about him. What did he look like?

Was he tiny too? Well, he didn't come as far as the counter, so I just kind of glimpsed at him. But like he wasn't, he didn't seem as small as her counter so I just kind of glimpsed at him but he didn't seem as small as her. I'd say he's about two or three inches on her now.

I bet he's kind of a germaphobe. I'm surprised you got him into a cinema in Portlaige to be totally honest. And it was probably the first time he'd saw someone with ginger hair

like I did. My hair was an afro so he was probably like Jesus, I'll stand back here. I'm glad you're representing for Ireland. Good girl. Yeah here I'm glad you're representing for Ireland good girl yeah

I'm glad she's sound though because I love Kim K and I always thought she would be sound well to be fair and I'm not like denying that she's sound but like how much of a dick

can you be buying a small popcorn in Portlaoise it's not a huge amount of time to really misbehave she said no she said thanks like a human being

do you know what I mean Joanne she's sound. Did she tip you, Amy? No, she didn't. Bitch. But the security guard, let's call him, I don't know, Seamus,

he gave me their, so it was in three... Hold on, Amy, why are you protecting Seamus' identity? Oh, their, sorry, their security guard. Yeah. Sorry, Seamus.

I don't know where Seamus came from but let's call him that anyways and he spread out for the whole time while they were in there and I had to crack with him and he gave me their

3D glasses afterwards so I was like oh hilarious Amy do you still have them yeah maybe so

I might try I'm not working there anymore so I might sell them on for a couple of dollars I reckon you should I reckon you'll be able to you need proof though Amy people need proof

I know yeah that's the next step now yeah well Amy thank you for letting us know Kim is sound there we go we have it

our answer Kim's sound yeah and so is Amy Amy's sounder than Kim yeah we like you Amy Kanye the jury's still out on Kanye

he doesn't look sound. He looks like he's gotten less sound. There we have it. That's all from this extra helping of my therapist ghosted me. So definitely do keep

sending your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com. We'll be back with the full episode on Friday so we shall speak to you then. Speak, well, at you then.

Yeah, we'll speak at you then. Speak, well, at you then. Yeah, we'll speak at, at we. Speak at you then. At we. music music music