My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "It'll pass, right?"

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

This week, some delicious pettiness, some light politics and an extra-marital temptation. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Pol...icy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me, the bonus episode with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. We have a tiny tour taking place in October. I have a larger tour. I'm going to America for some Prosecco shows. And then we have Ghosted, which we're going to be in Boston on the 10th of October.
Starting point is 00:00:31 We're going to be in New York on the 11th of October. And we're going to be in Toronto on the 12th of October. You! And all the tickets are on mytherapistghostedme.com. I was looking at,
Starting point is 00:00:40 so Davina Devine, one of our favourite drag queens, she did a show with us when we were on tour I saw her post a couple of things to her story which I found really funny and they were called um just like people just being a bit spiteful you know like you know spitey stuff can be quite funny her yeah her podcast is called Patty Little Things so I think the theme is that she um oh she fine because I find Patty Things yes oh well she found a couple of amazing petty things one of them being so there was a radio host in america and you know the way people slag
Starting point is 00:01:14 famous people all the time because like they just don't think famous people well because they think that they can be bitchy or something about them yeah i don't know people do it so a radio host in america uh was slagging off kelly roland she it. So a radio host in America was slagging off Kelly Rowland. She used to be in Destiny's Child. She was slagging off Kelly Rowland being like, Kelly Rowland's really ugly,
Starting point is 00:01:30 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then she posted a picture of herself. So the radio host posted a picture of herself in this swimsuit just like chilling on it on a boat or something like that.
Starting point is 00:01:38 And then Kelly Rowland got the same swimsuit and posted a picture of her wearing the swimsuit looking unreal and hotter than the radio host trying to like
Starting point is 00:01:48 clap back at her which I saw the photo she did she yeah she look they're both gorgeous but I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:01:57 your one deserved a bit of a slap back celebrities have feelings too don't we Vogue I would not Celebrities have feelings too Don't we Vogue? I would not like I would not like To be standing beside Kelly Randall in a bikini
Starting point is 00:02:13 No fucking way And also I would not like To refer to ourselves As celebrities That's so worse Because Shannon Doherty just passed away
Starting point is 00:02:26 that was very sad she was very young I know but she had some petty requests for her funeral did she not Vogue and I enjoyed that
Starting point is 00:02:34 she decided who she wanted at her funeral and who who wasn't allowed to go and I get that because like that would be a funeral that people would say
Starting point is 00:02:41 we'll go to that now we'll get people with pictures of that there'd be a few of them now but you know what she said so her criteria for people not wanting to go and she didn't she hasn't publicly said well she hasn't her mother is kind of passing on this information she told her mother who she wanted there and he shouldn't want she banned a couple of people and she hasn't publicly said who she banned but she said the criteria was anyone who
Starting point is 00:03:02 would cry at the funeral and go home and say, thank God that bitch is dead. And I was thinking to myself, I would not have the pleasure of making that request or there'd be fucking no one at my funeral. Like it would just literally be my mother trying to wheel the coffin up the aisle alone. You need not worry. I will be there. I'll be queen of the waiters. I can drag you up the aisle myself. Gigi won't be there. Gigi will not be there, no. Anyone who thinks they're mine,
Starting point is 00:03:34 thank God that bitch is dead, won't be attending. And it won't be because I've told them not to because I'll need them there for the numbers. Gigi being home brushing her hair. She's going through a real phase. She goes around with this squirty bottle of just water and she just'd be at home brushing her hair she's going through a real phase she goes around with this squirty
Starting point is 00:03:45 bottle of just some water and she just constantly squirted on her hair and she'd just brush in the air she reminds me
Starting point is 00:03:51 of E.T. do you remember when E.T. dressed up as the woman remember she'd be admiring she'd be admiring
Starting point is 00:03:58 herself in my urn that's what she'd be doing just the reflection of my urn she'd be turning the whole thing into something about herself
Starting point is 00:04:04 but I did think because Shannon already does have or had a reputation for being kind of difficult in the 90s but you know what what I think was very interesting about her?
Starting point is 00:04:12 She said yeah I deserved it. I was difficult because I could be and I wanted to be and things were shit and people were hard and I did what I did
Starting point is 00:04:19 and she kind of owned it all and I don't know I respect her. I kind of think and I'm not speaking about her because I don't know I respect her I I kind of think and I'm not speaking about her because I don't know if she was difficult but I've actually had
Starting point is 00:04:28 the displeasure of working with people that aren't easy to work with like very rarely I will say but like there's been a couple
Starting point is 00:04:36 of occasions and I'm like dude just don't don't treat someone like shit because they are going to be going back up when you're falling back down
Starting point is 00:04:43 my friend yeah but I wonder and not even for that reason. Just don't be a dick. Yes. I wonder though, I'm always suspicious.
Starting point is 00:04:50 I think Shanna Daugherty like was kind of infamous for it, but to be fair to her, she owned it, which I think is really interesting. And I think people respected her for it. But I do feel though, if you're like we,
Starting point is 00:05:04 Hollywood is like a different beast yeah yeah yeah it's a different beast and I'm always hesitant to call women in show business
Starting point is 00:05:13 difficult because I think they get that label so easily and also I know I'm kind of playing devil's advocate but
Starting point is 00:05:20 you don't know how much shit people have had to put up with in their career to get them to the point where they're going where they're standing up
Starting point is 00:05:27 for themselves now interestingly let us go on to Ellen DeGeneres of the Rock and Rock conversations now you see the thing of it
Starting point is 00:05:35 Ellen I think that like yeah I agree that some people can just say women are difficult because it's easy to say that
Starting point is 00:05:40 and put them in their box I hear it a lot I hear it do you know I hear it a lot from male directors about female acts and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:05:49 are they difficult or are they just trying to get their vision across the line and you just don't like being told what to do? That's, that would be my
Starting point is 00:05:56 clap back on that because I've been on the receiving end of a very difficult man that I had to work with once and he was a dick to me because he didn't like being told what to do but at the time he was working for me and it was my show and it had to work with once and he was a dick to me because he didn't like being told what to do
Starting point is 00:06:05 but at the time he was working for me and it was my show and it had to be done in a certain way and he was an absolute bollocks about it and I knew
Starting point is 00:06:13 in my I knew that that man was going off telling everyone that I was a bitch and I was like no you're a wanker anyway
Starting point is 00:06:20 yeah that's all just some light conversation but I do think though that with Ellen DeGeneres there was so much around that. There was so much stuff coming about her
Starting point is 00:06:29 and from people that were like working beneath her that like it just was a bit like, ah. She tried to stay and the ratings, the show fell off the side. So they were like,
Starting point is 00:06:39 it's not, it's no longer sustainable. So then she tried to do a stand-up tour and then that didn't sell. And now she's like, I'm gone. I just suppose, and again, devil's advocate, one of my favourite positions.
Starting point is 00:06:51 I just wonder, I just wonder, that's all. I just don't think, I don't think, I don't think Ellen DeGeneres is the devil. I don't think she's Satan. I wonder what she's been through professionally to get her to that point. I wonder how much shit she's had put on her to turn her into that type of person.
Starting point is 00:07:07 That's it. I'm just, I'd like a bit more of the background. I've no doubt she was a bitch in the office, but like, I think if you're not in show business, show business people, there's nowhere to hide now. If you were a regular bitch in the office, in a regular office, there probably wouldn't be that much backlash.
Starting point is 00:07:21 That's all I'm saying. Do I think Ellen DeGeneres is a saint? No. Do I think she's Satan? No. That's all I'm saying. Do I think Ellen DeGeneres is a saint? No. Do I think she's Satan? No. That's all. No, I agree. But like,
Starting point is 00:07:28 I don't know what's going to come of her. Sorry, something random just popped into my head and I had to look it up there. Do you know, do either of you know how much a news anchor
Starting point is 00:07:37 in America gets paid a year? Because Ellen DeGeneres makes so much money. She was. But guess what a news anchor makes a year in America? Like the morning show kind of news anchors. Oh, it must be something huge.
Starting point is 00:07:49 But as always, I'll go low so as not to ruin the game. Go on. 200 grand. 45 million dollars. What? They are, I know. I went a bit too low there. What?
Starting point is 00:08:01 Yes. Isn't that wild? I was only talking to Spenny about that the other day weirdly enough because I was like I don't understand. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:08:10 I know it's like they're what are they called those people? Athletes. Like what? Those people who are good at sports. Those people. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:08:22 What is your source? What's your source? Fox News. You jerk. Okay. My God. What is your source? What's your source? Fox News. You jerk. Okay. My God. Jesus. So you're here,
Starting point is 00:08:31 you heard it on Fox News or you're Googling the anchors of Fox News? No, no, no. You can Google what they get paid. 45 million, like crazy amounts of money.
Starting point is 00:08:38 They're worth huge amounts of money. But like in America, they get taxed off. But still, 22 million. Not bad. And it's only, should they have the rest of the day free? They're only due in the morning. but like in America they'll get taxed half but still 22 million not bad and it's only should they have the rest
Starting point is 00:08:47 of the day free they're only due in the morning they have the whole fecking day off they're doing nothing now I wouldn't like to get up at three in the morning it's not good for the old
Starting point is 00:08:55 brain Fox News they're all so spinning bollocks and they know they are and you have to be paid a lot to lie to your veneers
Starting point is 00:09:03 like that which is genuinely what they're doing yeah yeah yeah this is very true and allegedly well you know that whole thing came out that the main presenters for Fox News admitted that they knew
Starting point is 00:09:15 that the American election had not been stolen that they knew that that was they knew they were like we had to tell that story they were like we knew it wasn't true so no wonder they're getting paid 45 million that's about as political as we're gonna get that's it done that's it that's it now i do have one more political thing to say jack black was on stage with his bandmate from tenacious d and um your his bandmate it was his birthday and jack black brought him out a cake and he was like well what's your wish and the bandmate, it was his birthday and Jack Black brought him out a cake
Starting point is 00:09:45 and he was like, well, what's your wish? And the bandmate, who's a comedian, made a joke and was like, well, I wish the Trump shooter wouldn't miss next time, which isn't a great joke at all.
Starting point is 00:09:55 But then Jack Black cancelled the whole tour. So the whole Tenacious D tour, all the tickets are sold, whole thing cancels. He has like abolished his friend. Like he's like, I can't be friends with you. I mean
Starting point is 00:10:05 whoa. Is he a big Trump supporter Jack Black or is he just kind of scared of the backlash or what's the crack? I think he's scared of the backlash but I feel like I thought comedians were allowed to say whatever the fuck they wanted. Obviously not. And also like to be honest
Starting point is 00:10:22 if you said anything slightly controversial now at our show in New York and Boston I'd be on that first flight out and I'd be like, good luck to you. Are you going to be annoyed if I wear a MAGA hat on stage? No, I was going to say, the opposite. It's them I'm afraid of. If you turned up with a little tissue on your ear and you're like, ha ha, love. Did you see that? I'm like, I want no part of this. Hi, Vuge and Joanne.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Okay, this sounds a little dramatic, but I feel like my life is unravelling somewhat and I need your advice, please. We're the worst people to come to advice for, but we go here we go yeah buckle up my husband and I have been married for 10 years together for 15 years and we have kids my husband isn't massively affectionate and probably since we've had kids even less so okay I feel like Spenny must be writing in. Is he not affectionate? I'm not. No, I'm not that affectionate. Spenny's more affectionate than I am. A fairly new mutual acquaintance of ours
Starting point is 00:11:35 has been showing some interest in me, commenting on how good I look and generally being very complimentary to me about how pretty I am and how my husband is punching. Ooh. I have enjoyed getting to know him over the past couple of months at various events. And we always end up chatting.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Never for very long, but I look forward to it. And make more of an effort when I think or know he might be there. I found myself thinking about him and things he said to me over and over. And have even gone out of my way a couple of times in the hope that I might bump into him somewhere. I haven't. Okay. Sounds like something I'd like as well. Damaged from his breakup with a long-term partner. Lost his job, etc. Of course I feel that I can help him get his life back on track. Sounds like something I'd like as well. I don't know if this is a bit of a flea bag, it'll pass situation.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And I'm just overthinking it. Or if I'm starting to question everything I currently have. I'm wondering if I could be happier elsewhere. Oh no, I think she really fancies him. I would say if you're not being... I think that's legit. I'm not even messing. No, I him. I would say if you're not being... I think that's legit. I'm not even messing. No, I agree. I would say that you do fancy him. And I'd say if you're not like...
Starting point is 00:12:51 It's the same for a man as it is for a woman. If you're not like getting attention or being told that you look nice or like feeling like you're wanted at home, you're going to be like, and someone starts paying you attention and telling you you look good, like you're going to be drawn to them. And it's kind of exciting. Yeah, I think, I think, I mean.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Don't you add one straight away, cheese. I'm like, explore. Explore, explore it. Yeah, why not? Okay, as a. I'm not married. Like, you know, I don't have respect for the institution in the same way.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I have respect for the horn. I, well, that's a serious alarm going on there in it mate in it I would say I think that you need to sit down I would be the one to sit down and chat with my husband and be like listen like you're not making me feel good
Starting point is 00:13:40 about myself anymore I feel ignored like it's like you just don't find me attractive anymore what's going on? I wouldn't bring up this other fellow though. Sorry. Okay. Well, you're both married or whatever and obviously you're going for the communication answer.
Starting point is 00:13:56 You have to. You have to go communicate before the ride. Communicate before the ride. Or find out if the ride is worth communicating for. There's another option now. or find out if the ride is worth communicating for is another option now or find out if
Starting point is 00:14:09 so do a ride that's what lads do lads don't jump ship unless there's somewhere to go you know what you'll be eaten up by guilt and you'll feel really bad
Starting point is 00:14:18 I think if there's like a less dirty way out just see how like it's not to say your relationship is over you've been together for 15 years that's a long time. You've got the 15 year itch. Do you know
Starting point is 00:14:28 what I think might be worth throwing in the mix here as an option C? A threesome. No, but we can put that as C. Okay, we'll put that as C and I'll suggest option D. I'd
Starting point is 00:14:44 say to him, just to put the fear into him, be like, do you know what? I'm going to be totally honest. I'd say to him, just to put the fear into him, be like, do you know what? I'm going to be totally honest. I'm not getting anything from you. I don't feel attractive here and I have a connection with this person.
Starting point is 00:14:55 I wouldn't say who it is. I don't have to say who it is, but I have a connection with this person. There's clearly some chemistry there. We clearly fancy each other and I'm not going to lie to you.
Starting point is 00:15:09 It's kind of appealing at the moment. Is something you want to say is there something you'd like to bring to the table here or not yeah i feel go full love island on it i'm sorry but i honestly think that like you need to be made feel like that you look good and everything like that like i like because i'm not a natural complimenter i'm a more of an insulter so I have to make an extra like effort to compliment men sometimes because he's so mad about himself I just forget that like maybe he'd like a compliment the odd time because he's always complimenting himself yeah the odd time I have to remember to compliment him I think there's nothing that puts the fire under you then knowing that your partner has and has options like proper options and like I'm bringing this to you I'm not proud of it I'm just flagging this with you I'm having a connection with someone else and I'm not going to act on it if you feel that this is
Starting point is 00:15:58 something that me and you could fix this but at the moment this option is looking pretty pretty attractive to me. And I want you to get involved and we'll have a threesome together and then everything will be fine. The table's in your court. The court's in your table. The ball is in your court. The fork is on your side of the table. That's what I would do.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Oh, shocking advice. We tried. Will we do one more email quickly? Just on a legal footing. Sometimes this happens. it feels like one of those where we ought to say we're not experts and
Starting point is 00:16:27 maybe talk to talk to an expert obviously we're not marital experts well I think that I excuse me put yourself in that boat I've been
Starting point is 00:16:37 married loads I'm an expert I don't I think that me okay I think that's true I think the more you do it,
Starting point is 00:16:45 the more of an expert you are on how to keep a marriage. I agree. Yeah, I've done real well. I got a DM that I'd like to share with you from a girl. She says,
Starting point is 00:17:01 Hey, love the pod. I feel the urge to share last night's escapades with you as I'm in my thirties and riding the wave of wild, wild west of online dating. I went on a second date
Starting point is 00:17:11 with a guy I met in field. Our first date was meeting up after Kylie and her Hyde Park last weekend for a sleepover and then brunch. So we decided to have a proper date
Starting point is 00:17:19 and he invited me to the theatre. We were having a blast. Five cocktails pre-show and he was touchy touchy, feely feely throughout the show, followed by a drunken dinner in Chinatown then back to his. Sounds like a lovely date. I was wondering why we were
Starting point is 00:17:34 naked in bed and nothing was really happening except from kissing and cuddling to help me fall asleep. Sleep I did not. Confused as to why we weren't having sex in the morning, same situation. I asked him why he was blowing hot and cold and he said he felt confused because he thought
Starting point is 00:17:49 I was hot but I really reminded him of his mother and he'd still like to go on dates and have naked bed cuddles but doesn't want to have sex with me is that the worst blow off an insult in the world or should I just take it at value
Starting point is 00:18:08 and enjoy being his new mummy to be honest I have far worse day stories but this one has really thrown me a curve ball I mean like you do you know when you're sometimes reminded that
Starting point is 00:18:23 you're turning into your own mother and it's like you get a bit of a fright you don't want to be that you're turning into your own mother and it's like, oh, you got a bit of a fright. You don't want to be told you're like someone else's mother. Naked cuddles, your flatted dick on my leg. No fucking thanks. Revolting. And also, there's nothing worse than when a man does his best to ride you, but just can't bring himself to do it.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Oh, God. I've been in that situation. It's like he's really he's really trying to find me attractive here because he wants to for whatever reason. I feel like maybe it's
Starting point is 00:18:53 a bit of a personality choice this week rather than I want to bang the shit out of her choice. Oh God no. No. No. Stay the hell away
Starting point is 00:19:03 from that. You need some lad who wants to put you through the wall. Get rid of this lad. Good luck. Yeah. Fling you all over the room. Yes, please. The fact that you look like his mother,
Starting point is 00:19:10 the fact that he even wants to have you naked in the bed is bizarre as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, rubbing up against his mom like that. Disgusting. Sick. Well, thank you everyone for listening. More romance next week on My Paraphrase Goes to Me. Thank you.

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