My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "It'll pass, right?"
Episode Date: July 24, 2024This week, some delicious pettiness, some light politics and an extra-marital temptation. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Pol...icy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me, the bonus episode with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally.
We have a tiny tour taking place in October. I have a larger tour.
I'm going to America
for some Prosecco shows.
And then we have Ghosted,
which we're going to be in Boston
on the 10th of October.
We're going to be in New York
on the 11th of October.
And we're going to be in Toronto
on the 12th of October.
You!
And all the tickets are on
mytherapistghostedme.com.
I was looking at,
so Davina Devine,
one of our favourite drag queens,
she did a show with us when we were
on tour I saw her post a couple of things to her story which I found really funny and they were
called um just like people just being a bit spiteful you know like you know spitey stuff
can be quite funny her yeah her podcast is called Patty Little Things so I think the theme is that
she um oh she fine because I find Patty Things yes oh well she found a couple of amazing petty
things one of them being so there was a radio host in america and you know the way people slag
famous people all the time because like they just don't think famous people well because they think
that they can be bitchy or something about them yeah i don't know people do it so a radio host
in america uh was slagging off kelly roland she it. So a radio host in America was slagging off Kelly Rowland.
She used to be in
Destiny's Child.
She was slagging off Kelly Rowland
being like,
Kelly Rowland's really ugly,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then she posted
a picture of herself.
So the radio host
posted a picture of herself
in this swimsuit
just like chilling on it
on a boat or something like that.
And then Kelly Rowland
got the same swimsuit
and posted a picture of her
wearing the swimsuit
looking unreal
and hotter
than the radio host
trying to like
clap back at her
which I saw the photo
she did
she yeah
she
look
they're both gorgeous
but I'm just saying
your one deserved
a bit of a slap back
celebrities have feelings too
don't we Vogue
I would not Celebrities have feelings too Don't we Vogue?
I would not like I would not like
To be standing beside
Kelly Randall in a bikini
No fucking way
And also I would not like
To refer to ourselves
As celebrities
That's so worse
Because
Shannon Doherty
just passed away
that was very sad
she was very young
I know
but she had some
petty requests
for her funeral
did she not Vogue
and I enjoyed that
she decided who
she wanted at her funeral
and who
who wasn't allowed to go
and I get that
because like
that would be a funeral
that people would say
we'll go to that now
we'll get people
with pictures of that
there'd be a few of them now
but you know what she said so her criteria for people not wanting to go and
she didn't she hasn't publicly said well she hasn't her mother is kind of passing on this
information she told her mother who she wanted there and he shouldn't want she banned a couple
of people and she hasn't publicly said who she banned but she said the criteria was anyone who
would cry at the funeral and go home and say, thank God that bitch is dead.
And I was thinking to myself, I would not have the pleasure of making that request or there'd be fucking no one at my funeral.
Like it would just literally be my mother trying to wheel the coffin up the aisle alone.
You need not worry. I will be there. I'll be queen of the waiters.
I can drag you up the aisle myself.
Gigi won't be there.
Gigi will not be there, no.
Anyone who thinks they're mine,
thank God that bitch is dead,
won't be attending.
And it won't be because I've told them not to
because I'll need them there for the numbers.
Gigi being home brushing her hair.
She's going through a real phase.
She goes around with this squirty bottle of just water and she just'd be at home brushing her hair she's going through a real phase she goes around
with this squirty
bottle of just
some water
and she just
constantly squirted
on her hair
and she'd just
brush in the air
she reminds me
of E.T.
do you remember
when E.T.
dressed up as
the woman
remember
she'd be admiring
she'd be admiring
herself in my urn
that's what she'd be doing
just the reflection
of my urn
she'd be turning
the whole thing
into something
about herself
but I did think
because Shannon already does have
or had a reputation
for being kind of difficult
in the 90s
but you know what
what I think was
very interesting about her?
She said yeah
I deserved it.
I was difficult
because I could be
and I wanted to be
and things were shit
and people were hard
and I did what I did
and she kind of owned it all
and I don't know
I respect her.
I kind of think and I'm not speaking about her because I don't know I respect her I I kind of think
and I'm not speaking about her
because I don't know
if she was difficult
but I've actually had
the displeasure
of working with people
that aren't easy
to work with
like very rarely
I will say
but like
there's been a couple
of occasions
and I'm like dude
just don't
don't treat someone
like shit
because they are
going to be going back up
when you're falling back down
my friend
yeah
but I wonder
and not even for that reason.
Just don't be a dick.
Yes.
I wonder though,
I'm always suspicious.
I think Shanna Daugherty
like was kind of infamous for it,
but to be fair to her,
she owned it,
which I think is really interesting.
And I think people respected her for it.
But I do feel though,
if you're like we,
Hollywood is like a different beast
yeah yeah yeah
it's a different beast
and
I'm always hesitant
to
call women
in show business
difficult
because I think
they get that label
so easily
and also
I know I'm kind of
playing devil's advocate
but
you don't know how much
shit people have had
to put up with
in their career
to get them to
the point
where they're going
where they're standing up
for themselves
now interestingly
let us go on to
Ellen DeGeneres
of the Rock and Rock
conversations
now you see
the thing of it
Ellen
I think that like
yeah I agree
that some people
can just say
women are difficult
because it's easy
to say that
and put them in their box
I hear it a lot
I hear it
do you know
I hear it a lot
from male directors
about female acts
and I'm like,
are they difficult
or are they just trying
to get their vision
across the line
and you just don't like
being told what to do?
That's,
that would be my
clap back on that
because I've been
on the receiving end
of a very difficult man
that I had to work with once
and he was a dick to me
because he didn't like
being told what to do but at the time he was working for me and it was my show and it had to work with once and he was a dick to me because he didn't like being told what to do
but at the time
he was working for me
and it was my show
and it had to be done
in a certain way
and he was an absolute
bollocks about it
and I knew
in my
I knew that that man
was going off
telling everyone
that I was a bitch
and I was like
no you're a wanker
anyway
yeah
that's all
just some light conversation
but I do think though
that with Ellen DeGeneres
there was so much around that.
There was so much stuff
coming about her
and from people
that were like working beneath her
that like it just was a bit like,
ah.
She tried to stay
and the ratings,
the show fell off the side.
So they were like,
it's not,
it's no longer sustainable.
So then she tried to do
a stand-up tour
and then that didn't sell.
And now she's like, I'm gone.
I just suppose, and again, devil's advocate,
one of my favourite positions.
I just wonder, I just wonder, that's all.
I just don't think, I don't think,
I don't think Ellen DeGeneres is the devil.
I don't think she's Satan.
I wonder what she's been through professionally
to get her to that point.
I wonder how much shit she's had put on her
to turn her into that type of person.
That's it.
I'm just, I'd like a bit more of the background.
I've no doubt she was a bitch in the office,
but like, I think if you're not in show business,
show business people, there's nowhere to hide now.
If you were a regular bitch in the office,
in a regular office,
there probably wouldn't be that much backlash.
That's all I'm saying.
Do I think Ellen DeGeneres is a saint?
No.
Do I think she's Satan? No. That's all I'm saying. Do I think Ellen DeGeneres is a saint? No. Do I think she's Satan?
No.
That's all.
No, I agree.
But like,
I don't know what's going to
come of her.
Sorry, something random
just popped into my head
and I had to look it up there.
Do you know,
do either of you know
how much a news anchor
in America gets paid a year?
Because Ellen DeGeneres
makes so much money.
She was.
But guess what a news anchor
makes a year in America?
Like the morning show kind of news anchors.
Oh, it must be something huge.
But as always, I'll go low so as not to ruin the game.
Go on.
200 grand.
45 million dollars.
What?
They are, I know.
I went a bit too low there.
What?
Yes.
Isn't that wild?
I was only talking to Spenny about that the other day
weirdly enough
because I was like
I don't understand.
Yeah.
What?
I know it's like they're
what are they called
those people?
Athletes.
Like what?
Those people who are good at sports.
Those people.
Oh my God.
What is your source?
What's your source? Fox News. You jerk. Okay. My God. What is your source? What's your source?
Fox News.
You jerk.
Okay.
My God.
Jesus.
So you're here,
you heard it on Fox News
or you're Googling
the anchors of Fox News?
No, no, no.
You can Google
what they get paid.
45 million,
like crazy amounts of money.
They're worth huge amounts of money.
But like in America,
they get taxed off.
But still,
22 million.
Not bad. And it's only, should they have the rest of the day free? They're only due in the morning. but like in America they'll get taxed half but still 22 million not bad
and it's only
should they have the rest
of the day free
they're only due in the morning
they have the whole
fecking day off
they're doing nothing
now I wouldn't like to get up
at three in the morning
it's not good for the old
brain
Fox News
they're all so spinning
bollocks
and they know they are
and you have to be paid
a lot to lie
to your veneers
like that
which is genuinely
what they're doing
yeah yeah yeah this is very true
and allegedly
well you know that whole thing
came out that the main presenters
for Fox News admitted that they knew
that the American election had not been
stolen
that they knew that that was
they knew they were like we had to tell that story
they were like we knew it wasn't true so no wonder they're getting paid 45 million that's about as political as we're
gonna get that's it done that's it that's it now i do have one more political thing to say
jack black was on stage with his bandmate from tenacious d and um your his bandmate it was his
birthday and jack black brought him out a cake and he was like well what's your wish and the bandmate, it was his birthday and Jack Black brought him out a cake
and he was like,
well, what's your wish?
And the bandmate,
who's a comedian,
made a joke and was like,
well, I wish the Trump shooter
wouldn't miss next time,
which isn't a great joke at all.
But then Jack Black
cancelled the whole tour.
So the whole Tenacious D tour,
all the tickets are sold,
whole thing cancels.
He has like abolished his friend.
Like he's like,
I can't be friends with you. I mean
whoa. Is he a big
Trump supporter Jack Black
or is he just kind of scared of the backlash
or what's the crack? I think he's
scared of the backlash but I feel like I thought
comedians were allowed to say whatever the fuck they wanted.
Obviously not.
And also like to be honest
if you said anything slightly controversial
now at our show in New York and Boston I'd be on that first flight out and I'd be like, good luck to you.
Are you going to be annoyed if I wear a MAGA hat on stage?
No, I was going to say, the opposite. It's them I'm afraid of.
If you turned up with a little tissue on your ear and you're like, ha ha, love.
Did you see that?
I'm like, I want no part of this.
Hi, Vuge and Joanne.
Okay, this sounds a little dramatic, but I feel like my life is unravelling somewhat and I need your advice, please.
We're the worst people to come to advice for, but we go here we go yeah buckle up my husband and I have been married for 10 years
together for 15 years and we have kids my husband isn't massively affectionate and probably since
we've had kids even less so okay I feel like Spenny must be writing in. Is he not affectionate?
I'm not.
No, I'm not that affectionate.
Spenny's more affectionate than I am.
A fairly new mutual acquaintance of ours
has been showing some interest in me,
commenting on how good I look
and generally being very complimentary to me
about how pretty I am
and how my husband is punching.
Ooh.
I have enjoyed getting to know him over the past couple of months at various events.
And we always end up chatting.
Never for very long, but I look forward to it.
And make more of an effort when I think or know he might be there.
I found myself thinking about him and things he said to me over and over.
And have even gone out of my way a couple of times in the hope that I might bump into him somewhere.
I haven't.
Okay. Sounds like something I'd like as well. Damaged from his breakup with a long-term partner. Lost his job, etc. Of course I feel that I can help him get his life back on track.
Sounds like something I'd like as well.
I don't know if this is a bit of a flea bag, it'll pass situation.
And I'm just overthinking it.
Or if I'm starting to question everything I currently have.
I'm wondering if I could be happier elsewhere.
Oh no, I think she really fancies him.
I would say if you're not being... I think that's legit. I'm not even messing. No, I him. I would say if you're not being...
I think that's legit. I'm not even messing.
No, I agree. I would say that you do fancy him.
And I'd say if you're not like...
It's the same for a man as it is for a woman.
If you're not like getting attention or being told that you look nice
or like feeling like you're wanted at home,
you're going to be like,
and someone starts paying you attention and telling you you look good,
like you're going to be drawn to them.
And it's kind of exciting.
Yeah, I think, I think, I mean.
Don't you add one straight away, cheese.
I'm like, explore.
Explore, explore it.
Yeah, why not?
Okay, as a.
I'm not married.
Like, you know, I don't have respect
for the institution in the same way.
I have respect for the horn.
I, well, that's a serious alarm going on there
in it mate
in it
I would say I think that you need
to sit down I would be
the one to sit down and chat with my husband and be like
listen like you're not making me feel good
about myself anymore I feel ignored
like it's like you just don't find me attractive
anymore what's going on?
I wouldn't bring up this other fellow
though.
Sorry. Okay. Well, you're both married
or whatever and obviously you're going for the
communication answer.
You have to. You have to
go communicate before the ride.
Communicate before the ride.
Or find out if the ride is worth
communicating for. There's another option now. or find out if the ride is worth communicating for
is another option
now
or find out if
so do a ride
that's what lads do
lads don't jump ship
unless there's somewhere to go
you know what
you'll be
eaten up by guilt
and you'll feel really bad
I think if there's like
a less dirty way out
just see how
like it's not to say
your relationship is over
you've been together for 15 years
that's a long time. You've got
the 15 year itch. Do you know
what I think might be worth
throwing in the mix here as an option C?
A threesome.
No, but
we can put that as C. Okay, we'll
put that as C and I'll suggest
option D.
I'd
say to him, just to put the fear into him, be like, do you know what? I'm going to be totally honest. I'd say to him,
just to put the fear into him,
be like,
do you know what?
I'm going to be totally honest.
I'm not getting anything from you.
I don't feel attractive here and I have a connection
with this person.
I wouldn't say who it is.
I don't have to say who it is,
but I have a connection
with this person.
There's clearly
some chemistry there.
We clearly fancy each other
and I'm not going to lie to you.
It's kind of appealing at the moment. Is something you want to say is there something you'd like to bring to the table here or not yeah i feel go full love island on it i'm sorry but i
honestly think that like you need to be made feel like that you look good and everything like that
like i like because i'm not a natural complimenter i'm a more of an insulter so I have to make an extra like effort to compliment men
sometimes because he's so mad about himself I just forget that like maybe he'd like a compliment the
odd time because he's always complimenting himself yeah the odd time I have to remember
to compliment him I think there's nothing that puts the fire under you then knowing that your partner has and has options like proper
options and like I'm bringing this to you I'm not proud of it I'm just flagging this with you
I'm having a connection with someone else and I'm not going to act on it if you feel that this is
something that me and you could fix this but at the moment this option is looking pretty
pretty attractive to me.
And I want you to get involved and we'll have a threesome together and then everything will be fine.
The table's in your court.
The court's in your table.
The ball is in your court.
The fork is on your side of the table.
That's what I would do.
Oh, shocking advice.
We tried.
Will we do one more email quickly?
Just on a legal footing.
Sometimes this happens. it feels like one of
those where we ought
to say we're not
experts and
maybe talk to
talk to an expert
obviously we're not
marital experts
well I think that I
excuse me
put yourself in that
boat I've been
married loads
I'm an expert
I don't I think
that me
okay
I think that's true
I think the more
you do it,
the more of an expert you are
on how to keep a marriage.
I agree.
Yeah, I've done real well.
I got a DM
that I'd like to share with you
from a girl.
She says,
Hey, love the pod.
I feel the urge to share
last night's escapades with you
as I'm in my thirties
and riding the wave
of wild, wild west
of online dating.
I went on a second date
with a guy I met in field.
Our first date was meeting up
after Kylie and her
Hyde Park last weekend
for a sleepover
and then brunch.
So we decided to have
a proper date
and he invited me to the theatre.
We were having a blast.
Five cocktails pre-show
and he was touchy touchy, feely
feely throughout the show, followed by a
drunken dinner in Chinatown then back to his.
Sounds like a lovely
date. I was wondering why we were
naked in bed and nothing was really happening except
from kissing and cuddling to
help me fall asleep. Sleep I did not.
Confused as to why we weren't
having sex in the morning, same situation.
I asked him why he was blowing hot and cold and he said
he felt confused
because he thought
I was hot but I really reminded him
of his mother
and he'd still like to go on dates and have naked
bed cuddles but doesn't want to
have sex with me
is that the worst blow off
an insult in the world
or should I just take it at value
and enjoy being his new
mummy
to be honest I have far worse day stories
but this one has really thrown me a curve ball
I mean
like
you
do you know when you're sometimes reminded that
you're turning into your own mother and it's like you get a bit of a fright you don't want to be that you're turning into your own mother
and it's like, oh, you got a bit of a fright.
You don't want to be told you're like someone else's mother.
Naked cuddles, your flatted dick on my leg.
No fucking thanks.
Revolting.
And also, there's nothing worse than when a man does his best to ride you,
but just can't bring himself to do it.
Oh, God.
I've been in that situation.
It's like he's really
he's really trying to find me
attractive here because
he wants to
for whatever reason.
I feel like maybe it's
a bit of a personality choice
this week rather than
I want to bang the shit
out of her choice.
Oh God no.
No.
No.
Stay the hell away
from that.
You need some lad who wants to put you through the wall.
Get rid of this lad.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Fling you all over the room.
Yes, please.
The fact that you look like his mother,
the fact that he even wants to have you naked in the bed
is bizarre as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, rubbing up against his mom like that.
Disgusting.
Sick.
Well, thank you everyone for listening.
More romance next week
on My Paraphrase Goes to Me. Thank you.