My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA: "I've always kept it secret..."
Episode Date: February 14, 2024Have you ever been turned on by a smell? That's one of the questions from a listener this week. Plus, Joanne has been triggered by a picture and Vogue dealt with a stranger in her taxi. If you’d lik...e to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams,
and Pino Psycho, Joanne McNally.
I am wearing a baseball cap just to say I look like shit at the moment and you're in full glam.
Oh, I've seen you look worse
don't you
yeah
100%
when
that time on stage
in
that shoot that we did
yeah
so you know the way
we're so bad
at our distances
and stuff
yes
well
I am now addicted
to that company,
Ruggable.
Remember Ruggable?
Where I road tested a rug for us
because I kept...
They're everywhere.
They must spend a fortune
on Insta ads.
They're absolutely...
Everyone has a Ruggable rug.
Every...
I ask people and they're like,
no, I've never heard of them.
I'm like, what?
I get served it all the time.
Yes, I am.
So I took the hit
and I bought one for Joanne and I
so we could see if they were
as good as they looked.
And they were.
So do I get half of it?
No, you do not.
Because I had to pay,
unless you want to give me the money for it.
Which I absolutely do not want to do.
I will cut half off
because I did order extra large in that one too.
But I ordered one for the kids room
and I was like, this is going to look great.
It's going to look great.
And it is about the size of my entire kitchen living room.
No.
Massive.
Opened the box and I'm like, you know what?
That thing we were talking about.
What's it called?
Where you measure things.
Not meditate.
What's the other thing?
Manifest.
Manifest.
I said, I'll put this manifesting to the test.
I will manifest that the kids room is going to be so big.
Got it.
In the next house that this rug will fit.
Yeah.
So instead of having to send the rug back, I'm going to keep the rug.
Yeah.
And just roll in the court.
Just roll in the sides. No, listen, doesn't matter. I'm going to keep the rug. Yeah. Just roll in the sides.
No, listen.
It doesn't matter.
I'm going to save it for the new bedroom.
Got it.
That I don't have yet.
Yeah.
But it is about 10 times the size.
Yeah.
And I actually think that's a form of like something that we can't do that properly.
Lack of intelligence?
Speak for yourself, my friend.
Sorry.
I'm manifesting.
Sorry.
That's what that was
Well I have to
I'm forced to manifest now
Because of all the fucking
Huge furniture in my house
But
The
We can't
Someone was actually
I ordered a light for the flat
Because obviously this is what I do
Now I'm in interiors
And
She was like
Oh just send in the dimensions
I was like
Blah blah blah
What?
No
I have no idea what you're talking about
The dimensions mean nothing to me It doesn't matter No I'm allergic I'm going to buy it anyway? I have no idea what you're talking about it mentions me
nothing to me
it doesn't matter
no I'm allergic
I'm going to buy it anyway
I don't care
I've looked at it
and it looks fine
it looks like it might fit
so it's coming to your house
yeah
come here
there's an artist
called Lauren White Murphy
who has actually
she was like
can I send you some stuff
and I was like
absolutely
like your stuff looks amazing
and she's like
I actually made she does kind of I was like, absolutely. Like, your stuff looks amazing. Yeah. And she's like, I actually made,
she does kind of,
I don't know what kind of art it is.
It's just,
well,
show me and I'll tell you.
My little art queen.
Look at her over there.
What an art dealer.
A wheeler dealer in the art world.
She's off to the date
after this joke.
Home to do an extra sketch
for the evening.
You wouldn't know what
I'd come up with.
So there's,
that's her page. So I don't know what I'd come up with so there's that's her page
so I don't know
what kind of art
but wait until I show you
the fact that
oh it's very cool
yeah she's deadly
yeah
oh yeah
look how bright it is
yeah it's cool
she's kind of
she's kind of a graffiti artist
as well
I love her
I mean I
I'm so sorry Lauren
I don't know what you are
you're an artist
I think that you're
yeah
yeah you're
well do you know what you are
Lauren
you're good you are Lauren you're good
you're good
you're just raw talent
there she is
she gave
what's his name
Liam Neeson
I'm really into him
I was trying to tell
Spenny and then I was like
I've got to stop
skeezing on him
because you have to
actually respect
Liam Neeson
you can't just start
sleazing about Liam Neeson
I don't know what it is
he has that level
because he's older
yeah he kind of
demands respect
him and Harrison Ford
they both get it
in a pleasant way
in a polite way
she loves threatening
people to get it
so
do you
can you
if I was to say to you
what's the worst
photo of me and you
in existence
and there are
a shit ton
but what is the
one that
obviously
the one that upset you the obviously I had to be talked down
the one that upset you the most
I had to be talked down
off a ledge
I'm assuming it's the tongue one
it's the tongue one
we did a shoot before
they used a photo
where I had
my tongue is sticking out
I was obviously mid
lip lick
and it was captured
and somehow ended up
and it looks like
I've got a chilly
it's just awful I thought you were trying to do that little it looks like I've got a chilly it's just awful
I thought you were trying to
do that little sexy tongue pose
I've seen people do it
and it does look good
for other people
no it's like
winking in photos
in the moment you feel like
you're doing a good job
but you're not
yeah I can't wink
you just did it there
I do both eyes
oh okay
yeah you just need to
train yourself
to just use one
go on
yes
so
she
Lauren's like
oh I hope you don't mind
but I've kind of
done up a
no
so she
has recreated
like this amazing
kind of
graphic version
of that photo
oh my god
please can I have it
oh you're having it
oh that's brilliant news
I said to Lauren
I'm so sorry I have to be you're having it oh that's brilliant news I said to Lauren I'm so sorry
I have to be completely
honest with you
I can't
show me it
show me it
that's why I'm trying
to find it
I don't know where
it is
I said I have to be
totally honest with you
Lauren you're so talented
blah blah blah
the photo
I think I cried
did I cry
you were nearly crying
you tell me if I didn't
take it down
you would have severe
mental health problems
yeah I said you have to take that off your Insta.
Yeah, I absolutely hate it.
I actually like it of you.
I'm not,
I hate myself.
Photos are a part of the job.
They're just a part of the job.
So anyway,
I said to Lauren,
appreciate your work.
Thank you so much.
And taking the initiative,
but that will not be crossing my threshold.
I said,
and Vogue would love that.
I would actually,
I would genuinely love that.
Lauren,
thank you so much for the art.
Because you look gorgeous.
I look demented.
I only look gorgeous
because you don't look great in that one.
Yeah.
Even Vogue would happily admit it.
She's like,
not great at you there.
There it was.
I look great at you.
Was it front page
no it wasn't front page
anyway
it's like one of those
pictures you know
when you're out
on a night out
and you see
you have a great picture
of you but like
all your friends
and they could look like
gremlins
and you're like
fuck it I look great
that's going straight up
that's the kind of one
you're like
oh happy birthday Joanne
and then you post that
because you look amazing
and you know
that I'm going to be
crying myself to sleep
for a week
yeah
anyway
Lauren you're getting that.
It looks deadly.
It's an amazing version
of that photo.
Okay, well, Lauren,
I'm actually really looking forward to it.
Thank you for organising
that gift for me.
Could you Photoshop the tongue out,
Lauren?
Like, what's the crack?
Could you do something post-edit?
It's absolutely awful.
I don't think there's anything
to be done with that picture.
It's going to continue to troll you
for the rest of your life. Yeah, it's just desperate. I was on there's anything to be done with that picture it's going to continue to troll you for the rest of your life yeah it's just desperate
I was on the way here today
and I got in
an unintentional Uber share
so I walked outside my house
and there was my Uber
and I looked
in the back
and there was a woman
sitting in the back
and I was like
no that's definitely my Uber
and then I was like
sorry that's my Uber
and the Uber driver
was like
sorry I've come to the wrong place
I didn't mean to collect you
before I dropped her off
and I was like
oh
but he just forgot she was in the back I don't know what happened I know and then I was like to the wrong place. I didn't mean to collect you before I dropped her off. And I was like, okay. But he just forgot she was in the back.
I don't know what happened.
I know.
And then I was like to the woman, I was like, sorry, I'm actually going to be late.
Do you mind if I pop in with you?
So I had to hop in with her and off we went.
Yeah.
Did you chat?
She wasn't really into chatting, which is what made it worse.
But then I understand that about Ubers.
Like I was ready to just be silent.
Yeah.
So where did she go
did she visit her home
no she went about
she only went
luckily she was only
in the car for about
six minutes
this sounds like the start
of a sitcom or a short film
it was kind of bizarre
I was like
but what could I do
I could either be late
or just get in the car
yeah
and suck it up
you're like oh I've never
seen anyone in the backseat
with me before
oh my god
it's usually a man
in the front with a little hat
Leslie at the front with a little hat.
Leslie at the front, yes.
You're like, oh driver, there's a person
in the back. I'm confused.
I do, I get confused with that and when I get
on the plane, I'm like, who are these people?
Why are these people on my plane?
So yeah, that was an enjoyable start
to my day. That sounds familiar.
Was there some show
was it Love on Netflix
it starts with
a couple they meet
that they get
because it is a thing
you can't intentionally
choose an Uber share
I know but
for frequency
and it's a bit cheaper
and Uber pool
that's what I thought
I had done
and then I realised
I hadn't done it
and I would rather not
yeah you're like
I don't want to be
swimming with other people
no thank you
I would rather swim alone
I'm already trying to get the goddamn rating up I don't need to be swimming with other people no thank you I would rather swim alone I'm already trying to
get the goddamn rating up
I don't need someone else
dragging me down as well
there was something about
in the news talk
that Ireland
are the chattiest
I know
taxi passengers
and the British
are the next
Irish first
British next
I know
I've been in the car
with a few Brits
and they don't say much
in the front
no
never get spoken to really
no but
do you mean the drivers
or
both
like Spenny wouldn't chat
to people
well no that doesn't surprise me
no no
he is a rude pig
he is a rude rude man
he is a rude pig
but that's why he's got
such a high rating
because you don't chat
no
yeah
but what else is going on
why are you all dressed up
well I was at home
I am
I sound terrible, sorry.
I'm very sick.
I'm off to DJ for our friend Hadley's salon opening.
The DJing's back, isn't it?
I know, the DJing's back now, it is.
I got a real taste for it on tour and I said,
you know what, I'm in for it.
You can always fall back on that now.
Absolutely.
I absolutely love it
because I love buying new music and stuff for my new set.
Your iPod Nano?
No, for my new set. I'llod Nano? No, for my new set.
I'll show you loads of mixing
once I go there.
She said, look at me,
look at me mixing.
When I step away,
the music stops.
Look at me.
Well, the whole point is
it shouldn't stop, Joanne.
But I have actually got
really pissed at gigs before
and I pressed the wrong button.
So like, obviously,
you've got two decks.
Each play is a different song
and then I press play
on the wrong one
and then the whole music stops
Would anyone notice?
Like is everyone
just pissed dancing?
When the music stops
they do tend to notice
which is unfortunate for me
so I don't really drink
too much when I DJ
Would you not do
a couple of festivals
this summer?
I am doing
well would you believe
I'm doing Cheltenham
now that you've asked
It's not a fucking festival Excuse me It's a horse event It's my kind of festival this summer come round with me I am doing well would you believe I'm doing Cheltenham now that you've asked the horse festival
it's not a fucking festival
excuse me
it's a horse event
it's my kind of festival
I'm doing Cheltenham
are you racing yourself
or what are you doing
if electric picnic
would have me
I will go and DJ
in electric picnic
now I'm more of a goer
to the festivals
I'll go with you
to a festival
but I'm not doing anything I'll go and watch you so I'm doing Lat a goer to the festivals I'll go with you to a festival but I'm not doing anything
I'll go and watch you
so I'm doing Latitude
this year
I'll come
if you get a driver
to and from
and I'm not sleeping over
what the fuck
no tense
that is dropping in
I'll come with you
and I want to go home
straight after
the last time I did Latitude
I woke up
in one of those
teepee things
Rick had had to put me to bed and like you I had all in one of those teepee things Rick had had to
put me to bed
and like you
I had all the best
of intentions
I was just
dropping in
in a professional manner
just being a professional
doing the gig
oh no
and then yeah
the second I came off stage
the adrenaline
got the better of me
I was at a festival
and I just
yeah
woke up in a teepee
how did you get home
that's my worst nightmare
train
I just fucking
go out and
plough down to a train station
yeah
horrific
don't regret it though
really good crack
I'm glad you don't regret it
it was last year
I'm sure you would have
gotten over it by now
I don't regret it
it's going to happen again this year
it wasn't my best moment
there was a little
there was a little bit of a
there was a little
I just you know what
whatever happens when you're
at a festival
it doesn't count
you're right
you're right
I'm not even going to
because if you're going to
start thinking about the things that you've done I'll have to think about the things that I've done and I'd rather not think about those things whatever happens when you're at a festival doesn't count. You're right, you're right. I'm not even going to bring it up. Because if you're going to start thinking
about the things that you've done,
I'll have to think about the things
that I've done
and I'd rather not think about those things.
You're right, you're right.
Remember me at EP when we were doing it?
And everyone made friends after.
Yeah, when we were at EP,
like I made friends,
I know, exactly.
You just, I drove some people mad,
but that's okay.
Did you see I've become a food blogger?
Did you see that?
No.
You haven't been watching my Instagram today.
What the hell?
Haven't I?
No.
I was cooking food for my Flexi app.
So I'm going to do all my nice recipes on the Flexi app.
If anyone wants to join the Flexi app,
please go and download it.
Are you paying for this? Is she being charged to advertise the Flexi app. If anyone wants to join the Flexi app please go and download it. Are you paying for this?
Is she being charged to advertise the Flexi app?
I've made a deal
I've made a deal with Global
I said if I can keep
mentioning Flexi
then Joanne can keep
sending the stuff to my house.
She can still send her goods
to my house.
She's moving house to her
I'm upset that my postal service
is moving out of town.
Well I wouldn't say
I'm moving house.
I'm trying to put the house
on the market
so if anyone wants
to buy my house
please God do
we want to move
we should not just
give it to me
no I wouldn't actually
give it to you
then I wouldn't be able
to buy another house
so that would be a problem
okay emails
oh well
I really like the first one
sexy smell
ready
yeah
oh
girls
you've done your share
of talking about sex
and this is sort of
that but not
maybe there's room
for it on the pod though
of course
when I was at uni
I had this mad
intense steamy affair
with a man that worked
on the campus
I'll say no more
because obviously
he'd lose his job
oh
very interesting
why?
you're not in college
students no?
no
no no no not in college.
College students, though.
No, you're not.
No, Joanne, you are not allowed to ride students.
So it was all totally consensual and no one was being coerced.
Anyway, I've always kept a secret.
It came up in my mind the other day because I went to stay at my aunt's house.
Stay with me.
I got into bed and started feeling a bit hot and heavy with myself.
I couldn't think why, and then it dawned on me.
The smell of the sheets.
Oh, it turns out my aunt uses the same washing detergent as the fella from uni.
To be fair, I didn't know that smell was a sense that could send me that way, but it did.
The sort of weird but inevitable end to the story
is that I ended up
having a sneaky paw
on my aunt's spare bed
what she doesn't know
won't hurt her right
of course
anyways
is it just me
am I really weird
love you both a million
no
no
I even
some people's aftershave
she was triggered
sexually
by the smell
I want to know the brand
fairy obviously
I would say
click clack click clack
click clack situation
100% it must have been
it must have been
the scent boosters
are you writing
emails in again
the scent
very adorable
I would say
well I have said
a million times
Lynx Africa
Jupe
they were the two
the two
from when we were
younger
of when we were younger
and that's what the lads wore
and that's what I would
follow into
a fire and for the lads they would that's what I would follow into a fire
and for the lads
they would be like
hunting down some impulse
remember you used to collect
the little impulse bottles
and spray them all over yourself
for us or them?
for us
were we
yeah it was impulse
impulse yeah
Charlie Redd
I would say
so no
I think fair play to
I had a weird thing
happen to me
around this
last summer
Spencer is very into his scents he loves spraying himself with perfume and he came home one day I had a weird thing happen to me around this last summer.
Spencer is very into his scents.
He loves spraying himself with perfume.
And he came home one day.
What's this?
What's it called?
Oud.
No, he doesn't do Oud.
Oud.
Oud's too much for me.
It's like I'm being assaulted in the face by mahogany.
Yeah, it's very rich.
It's too, yeah. It's very Dubai Maw.
Too expensive for us.
It's very Dubai Maw.
Yeah.
Yes.
Or that restaurant, Novikov.
Is that what it's called? Novich or that restaurant Novikov is that what
it's called
Novichov
or something
like that
anyway
so anyway
Spenny last
summer came
home with his
new bottle of
perfume
sprayed it all
over himself
and I was like
straight away
I was like
oh god
he bought the
same perfume
cool water
that Neil
my stepdad
wore
I know
I insisted
on wearing it
and I was like
Spenny
I'm sorry
that is too much
for me
that is dad
perfume
and you know
about the dead
dad perfume
as well
the pomegranate
noir
it's
perfume's just
like yeah
you have to be
careful
and if someone
reeks
like if
what's his name
Bradley Cooper
who I really
fancy
if he came
on to me
and smelled like oud
I'd have to say
Bradley
sorry I can't
yeah I had to
I had to
have a word with Alan
as well
it was a little OTT
I was like dude
you need to fucking
pull back on this
aftershave thing
like it's
you're drowning yourself
in it
we're opening windows
and all come on
I can't be in the car
with him like
he'd fucking knock you out
although I do have a tip
for Tom Ford
right
so obviously it's very expensive
so if you go into the airport
you basically go
and drown yourself
in Tom Ford
and then just leave
and then you don't have to pay for it
I will literally
on the way to the airport
and I spend a lot of time
in airports
I'll go to spray my CK1
I'll go
what am I doing
put the fucking bottle down
you're about to go in
to free perfume heaven
why would you bother
wasting two spritzes
of your own perfume
and another thing
I won't put a drop of mascara
or concealer on either
and I'll be swimming around
Charlotte Tilbury and Mac
for the afternoon
Joanne
you are going to get a stye
in your eye
you can't be using that
that other people have used
I would have no
issue with that now
I'm the one
they're the ones going
can you not
can you please actually
it's a tester
please can you not
how do I know
if it's going to lengthen
my lashes
no I would
and the perfume
I wouldn't waste
oh I would never
doesn't make any sense
no
never use your own perfume
here's another one
hi girls
please keep an on
with my boyfriend
10 months
I'm due to finish
college in May
and we plan to go away
for 4 days
he's now booked
a 5 day trip
with the lads
the week before
we were due to go away
and has asked for our trip
to be pushed back
to be a day shorter
am I wrong
to be pissed off
no
no I've been
that would annoy me
that would really annoy me
or a trip with you
why is the priority
probably because there's more of them
so they need to accommodate
the logistically
it's a harder
yeah but you can't
yeah but I don't mind
pushing the trip back
but like shortening it by a day
is bullshit
if it's only a four day
trip as well
yeah leave him
I think you should yeah
leave him
that's not going to work out
key his car
he's cheating
he's clearly cheating
hack into his phone
check his DMs
come on
find out who it is
isn't it funny
the way sometimes
you have to kind of
have your stuff
sense checked for you
when you say it out loud
you're like
actually no
that is really
that is really bad for him
I think though
well sometimes
I'd ring you with stuff
and I'm like
am I right to be annoyed here
I know I'm right
yeah of course
but I have to just
triple check that I'm right
I answer the phone hi Vogue you're right I don't even know what'm right yeah of course but I have to just triple check that I'm right I answer the phone
hi Vogue you're right
I don't even know what it is yet
yeah Tim don't worry Tim
it's not you
Liam Spencer is shaking
with fear in a wardrobe
you're right Vogue
you're like why is it
stench of oud
coming out the bottom
of that cabinet
two of us in there
shitting ourselves that's it for the bonus
that's it for the bonus
for me and Stalin
we will speak next week
okay Muzzleini
see you later
everybody see you later everybody Thank you.