My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I've got no patience for it."

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

It's time to get back into that inbox. What should you do if his friends are just rubbish?? Plus... Wise words from a pastor and whether or not Vogue used to go to work on a Monday.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist. Ghosted me with Jo, Joanne and Vuige. Have we spoken about the fact that our, I suppose it's called riddle music, jingle song is being used to sell gloves on the internet. Have we spoken about the fact that our, I suppose it's called riddle music, jingle song, is being used to sell gloves on the internet? Have we spoken about that? No, is there anything we can do about that? We've had a few messages about it. Our music, because that's how much global value is, is free off the internet.

It's not free. How much was it? Two shillings. It's licensed for like a fiver a year. So that means that other people are also free to buy it because we're cheap and nasty. I'm going to start using that for my new pod because I know it works well. You should. You should. Well, you really should. We also got messages saying it was being used in a Mr. Beast video on YouTube. So that's Mr. Beast.

Am I released as a single? might release it as a single. I might release it as a single if either of you would like to come on board. I'm going to use it for the Bear by Vogue ad if we ever make one. If they do another Live Aid, I want us to be performing that absolutely cheap jingle. But anyway, it's used on ads, but it's and people are very, very kindly letting us, making us aware in case it's been stolen from us. But no, no, no, no, people are very, very kindly letting us, making us aware in case it's been stolen from us. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we just bought it like everyone else. Yeah.

And come here to me. They are doing another live aid thing. Bob Geldof was in radio when I was in there. No one, first of all, no one even told me he was coming in and I was sitting eating beans and eggs from a cardboard container and in walks Bob, Sir Bob Geldof. Fucking bean hanging in my mate. Gross. It's smelly. There's that gross girl. Hello Bob.

But anyway, you could go to his concert, his live aid. He's doing something on the West End. Is he? As in like for charity or what do you mean the West End? It's hardly Live Aid if it's in the West End. Was it West End in Wembley? Yeah, I'm telling you. Live Aid has really fallen from grace if it's only doing the West End. What's it doing? Soho Theatre? It's like a hundredth theatre. I was hanging my head in shame so I didn't hear the whole conversation, but I think it's

like a theatre show. Okay that would make more sense yes. Oh god. So Freddie Mercury's not available so it's been downsized to a hundred theatre. Makes sense. Well wait! We'll do it Bob. Bob!

We have a banging tune ready to go. Pretty sure we'll get the crowds going. Very similar to E hey, oh. Very similar. Bob, we're ready for you. Call us. I actually, do you know what? If you asked me to home our theme tune, I could not do it.

I'd have to. I can't look at either of you. I'll do it now. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh yeah. If you'd really put a gun to my head, I would have gone, but then realized that's actually the second scene. You're just hoping that that was ours.

Well, Joe, it's nice to see you today. You took half the day off, didn't you? You all right? A vomiting bug, a vomiting bug. Is it taking half the day off when you've stayed at home to look after your sick wife and child? Is that taking off? Joe, don't pull the other one. A vomiting bug on a Monday. How convenient. How convenient. And all of a sudden you're fine at 5. Yeah, no, you're back. You're back ready to go at 5pm.

It's not got me yet. I'm alright. I am a mistake. We've all been that soldier. I'm a carer. I used to do that. I worked on a building site in London for a company called Buiegs and I shouldn't have been there anyway, obviously. But I used to every weekend, like someone would be coming over from Ireland and they'd be like, Oh, see on Monday. And I just think in my head, no, you won't. And it was like every Monday I'd be like, you're not gonna, I know this seems very like, you wouldn't believe this now, but I really am at well. I'll get a doctor's note.

I'd love for you to like leave on a Friday, like see you Tuesday guys. They're like, what? Like sorry, no, Monday, 9am. I'll be there, fresh, fresh and ready to go. I remember it was St. Patrick's Day and they were like, what? Sorry, no, Monday, 9am. I'll be there, fresh, fresh and ready to go. I remember it was St. Patrick's Day and they were like, everyone was making jokes about me not going in and St. Patrick's Day and I was like, as if I would do something like that and all of a sudden I'm like, about that, actually, today I can't. I'm sorry, I'm celebrating our patron saint. God, Paddy's Day used to be such a mad one. Do you remember the 12 pubs? Do you, you used to be on the 12th? Were we sitting out and mooring each other then?

Was that not Christmas? Was that not Christmas? We used to put the Paddy's Day pubs, I'm sure we would have been in the same pubs together. Yeah, but that was back when we weren't. That was back before you broke me down and groomed me to being your friend. That was back before we were too scared to speak to each other. That was back then. That was back during the Iron Curtain as we call it.

Do you know you're only meant to spend three hours a week with your friends? That's like the average time that you spend with your friends a week. That's a lot of time, I think. Are you sure? Yeah, that's the average. I was listening to a pep talk on the internet earlier about, I was just falling off to sleep. I had a nap earlier because I've got shows later and you know me, loved to nap. I napped yesterday by the way, PS. And do you know how good it is? No!

You wouldn't believe how good it is. I won't say the sleep score. 53 up to 67. Go on, go on. Okay, you've had enough. I was having a little pap talk on the internet to send me off. I like to play myself inspirational chats. It's more so, do you know those kind of university, you know those people who speak at university graduation shows? What is the graduation show called? What's your man's name who jumps up and around? Tony Robinson. Is that his name? Yeah, but it's not. It's more, you know, the actual graduations from college where

they wear the flap berets with the ribbons and then some celebrity goes up and does a very motivational speech. And there was a pastor doing one. Do you know how he came along in here? You love a pastor. Okay, maybe I do. Have I spoken too much? Have I always gone a bit bastard? I think it was when you found the pastor who said God told him to get out, to take private jets that you really took a liking to.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes, of course. Yes, yes. And I'm in constant contact with the pastor now, because you know the way I wrote into those prisoners. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That dating, that prison in America. Anyway, there's a pastor kind of teaching me how to speak to them properly.

Anyway, that's more for another day. But this pastor, he's like, I've seen thousands of people take their last breaths, thousands of people take their last breath. And he said, no one when they're dying says, Pastor, whatever his name is, Robertson, Pastor Robertson, bring me my trophies. I wish to see them one more time. He says, do you know what they say? He doesn't have any.

Bring me my bank balance. I want to see it one more time, pastor. Before I scuttle off this morbid coil. No, that's all I'm saying. Open my safe. Let me see into it one more time. Where are my Rolexes, pastor? Please, I can't go without one more look at my Rolex collection. Exactly. And Gigi's like, mama bear, mama bear. Like get out of the way, Gigi. I can't see the watch. Move it, I want to die. Happy move. I'll be buried with the loss as well. I'm not leaving anything to anyone. It's all coming down with me.

Like an Egyptian Pharaoh. It's all going into the ground with you. 100%. Every bit of jewelry in Befarrad. So are the dogs. The dogs are coming with me. I don't care if they're still alive. They're coming. Even all the jewelry from Claire's accessories is going in. Everything's going in. No one's getting anything over a fibre.

It's coming down. You're at coffin to be so heavy. You'll end up going straight through to the core of the earth. You'll just like fall through all the layers of the planet. The river of death is where I'll go. It's to get me down there. The river of death is where I'll go. It's to get me down there. Anyway, Pastor Robertson. Pastor Robertson talking shit. Yeah, go on.

Pastor Robertson speaking to people with cells. Okay. Well, he won't be you any time soon. Pastor Robertson said, when people are taking their last breath, they don't say bring me my trophies. They want to be with the people they love. I've no idea. I can't remember why I started this story. Why did I start this story? Because you were falling asleep anyway.

Was it not? Yeah, but was there not was it not a broader message about relationship? This is sorry. This is how it started. When you said about spending three hours with your friends. Pastor Robertson says that life is all about connection and love. We have such an incredible ability to talk completely shite and go on these weird tangent. How dare you? I planned all of that. You're the loose cannon here. That's a script. Nice rabbit.

Well, first of all, I do think he's full of shit because I don't think that he's seen thousands of people die. Like what was he in a war? He's a pastor. He's a pastor. That's his job. He goes around and helps people with their kind of their helps people in their last moments. How many people? Okay. How many people are you really going around? So you'd want to be seeing like a person a day. He's not. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's America. Anyway, look, let's not, we don't need to piss on Pastor Robertson. Maybe he fudged the numbers for the sake of the speech.

It's nothing we haven't done ourselves, Vogue. Five million listeners? Exactly, yeah. 69 million downloads a week, is it? I believe it is. It's the most popular podcast in the UK and Ireland? Okay. Yeah, why not?

My message is this. Well, no, sorry, it's not my message. It's Pastor Robertson's message. Three hours a week with your friends. Actually isn't that much. I think we should up our game. I'd like to see people more. Pastor Robinson didn't say that I said that. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was off the back of you saying we should see it. We see our friends three times a week, three hours a week.

Three hours a week. Well, I agree. It's all about, it's all about connection. It's all about connection. Life is all about connection. I know, but you know what? I find myself making dinner dates with people and it's like, Oh, we'll do November. And I'm like, that's when we're planning for November. But like we're going on holidays together. We are doing a tour while we're there in America, Boston and New York, Boston, Toronto.

We'll get the shows out of the way quickly and officially and then get back to our holiday. Yeah, exactly. We're going on holidays in New York. I'm gonna take you for one of those sandwiches and cat's deli. It's actually gonna be so nice. Joe, it's a shame you can't go,

but we just won't pay for you. No, too expensive, too expensive, Joe. I've elected not to come. Have you indeed? Yes, I've decided that I think you'll be okay without me. Just behave. What's that? Did you elect yourself after we said you can't come? Well, you know, who knows what decision was made? Tomato, tomato, chicken or egg? Who knows? Who knows?

I think we should choose one thing we want to do each day. We both want to go to the pharmacy so that doesn't count. Yes. But I would like to find a Halloween shop, if possible. In New York. Yeah. And then we'll do something you want to do as well, which would be? I'd have to think about it. Yeah, I'll have to give it an old think. Yeah.

What are you going to be doing? New York is so, I just love just walking around New York. You could walk around it for years. And it's because it's so well designed with the whole block system. It's very hard to get lost, which is nice. I would also like to walk around and we'll go for cocktails and be like Samantha. Yes. Oh my God. When we go to Samantha's house, I'll go. Sorry. How and how I haven't done this already is beyond me because I have spent a little bit of time in New York. Sorry now, we have to do the Sex and the City tour.

I'm sorry, I know that's the most millennial thing you've ever heard. And yes, I'm wearing the shit. My socks are wrong and I'm a millennial. That's who I am. I'm a basic Sex and the City bitch. I want to do the tour. I want to go to the cupcake shop. I want to do the open top shop.

I want to see Sarah's house. I want to visit. And then when I'm in LA. What's a cupcake shop? Oh my gosh. You've so much to learn. Okay, well I'm going to go on a tour. Do better. Educate yourself.

I'm going to go on a tour. And then when I go to LA, I'm going to go and visit the Universal Studios. Oh wow, you're really being a tourist. I'm going to get a huge, big, fat old camera. And go to, go do Runyon Canyon in LA where all the celebs do. Go stand outside the, oh no, you don fat old camera. And go to do Runyon Canyon in LA, where all the celebs do. Go stand outside the, oh no, you don't like standing. And I'm gonna go into hospital for a week for exhaustion.

Like the celebs. Oh, you'll probably meet loads of celebs now. You'll meet your future husband. I have a feeling, America's a very sexy place. You know? Yeah, it's very sexy. Yeah, yeah. Sexy man.

I'm telling you, London is full of good looking men. I have, I saw goodbye another one today. I think I finished London to be fair. I thought I'm moving to America. You couldn't possibly. I saw a nun today, like a full nun though, like in all the grey, like a proper... Just one amputated leg with a habit on it. I just, no, cause she had the whole cross and everything, she was just so, it was like

she'd walked out of a fancy nun dress shop, but like she was just being a nun and I just find it really unusual. In Leicester Square I was like, where is this nun going? I know. I mean, sometimes I feel like they have the right idea. Sometimes I kind of, you know, feel like they've missed out on life. Sometimes I feel like they've probably had a better life than all of us put together. I wanted to be a nun, you know. Did you? You've really got good values to be a nun. You do well in there. It was back in the day when we all believed in God. Do you remember when you were younger? Well I'll tell you, oh God.

Before you developed critical thinking and your parents would drag you to Mass. I had been about a seven, there was about a week where I decided I was going to be a nun. I think it's just a phase. I'm not sure if I'm going to take up Mass full time again, but I will tell you what, when I went to that wedding, the priest was being very funny, a bit of a comedic streak, a comedic streak to him. I thought who? They've really upped their game now. The bread still tastes like shite though. It really does. They need to start giving out croissants. I'm telling you, if they were giving out croissants in the middle of mass, we'd all be there. Everyone would go.

Yeah. And Prosecco instead of the red wine. We'd all be there? It's too early in the morning for red wine. I mean, I can drink, like obviously we know I can drink and I still can't drink red in the morning. No. Red, isn't that red? You say red for the bed, don't you? I remember that from tour. Red for the bed. Red for the bed. Yeah. Red for the bed. Fog and Joanne, I need backup. Getting straight into it. Is it okay to think your boyfriend's group of friends are all just shit and a pain in the arse? Context it. Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I know somebody who's a, who's a nice guy. Anyway, hold on. Okay. We might.

We've always thought. Yeah, I was going to launch into a full on bitch about someone and then I was like, oh, hang on, wait, we're recording this. Context is that we've been together two years and his friend group are uni mates who, despite being a good few years out of uni, still all live close and see each other a lot. All fine and I do make an effort but the group is made up of lads who will talk for hours if it's about football and three girls who will make no effort with outside partners. Oh. And to be honest act as though they have some sort of ownership over their boys.

It's fucking childish and primal and I've got no patience for it. That does sound like school dates. Is there more? Yeah. It's becoming a regular argument and has become a sensitive subject, which makes me defensive and him act like I'm just anti him having mates, which isn't true at all. I just wish he had mates that were actually adults capable of basic politeness. Alves don't say my name. Don't worry. Joe blocks out your name because we would say it by accident.

I just think that that sounds really immature and I don't really know what else to say about it, but it's so ridiculous. And some girls can just be like that and they're just obviously big idiots. Women can be women. Women can be territorial men can be territorial. Women can be. I've had situations where. A man I was. Going out with had like a best female friend and it was very clear that I was a problem for her. So weird. Yeah.

And I, because we're older now, I honestly wasn't expecting it. Like when you're a teenager, absolutely, you know, you do expect it. But when you're older, like she had a long term partner and everything. And I was, I was naive enough to think that me and her were going to be like, plaiting each other's hair. Do you know what I mean? And we most certainly were not doing that. And I think, in fact, I know I won't go into too much detail,

but I know that there was something, I think, going on between them, actually, maybe before I came on the scene. Oh, God, and then it stopped. And then I think it stopped. But I only found that out very much after the fact and it explained a lot, but yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that those three girls are riding, well, all those three girls are riding your boyfriend. I'm just saying, there's a lot of politics

that goes on behind people's, people have different agendas and stuff like that. And also when friends, it's mean, like I have to say, there's a friend of mine who has said to me before, I don't think you make enough effort with my partner. And I... Joanne, I told you not to say that. Oh, yeah, sure me and Spenna be kayaking together and all. We fucking have a great time. I wouldn't find that weird if I could find out that you two are going on a kayaking date

on the Thames. I'd be like, OK. I know. We get on. We like hanging out. But I was saying to her, I was like, yeah, you're probably right. I probably don't because in my mind, she's my friend. I don't see him that often and he's a guy. So I'm just like, oh, I leave that to you. Do you know what I mean? He's your thing. I'm, you're my thing. And because we didn't make an effort with each other at the start, we didn't really speak that much and stuff.

When I'd be in the house, he'd just say hello and then he'd go out or whatever. But we have rectified it since. But I have been guilty of that myself is what I'm saying. I honestly didn't think he was... I honestly didn't think he was that bothered getting to know me, to be honest. So I just did the usual, projected all my bullshit onto him. I'd maybe just try and talk to them then, if you're saying that that was the way that was eventually you do get to talk about it because it does just seem a bit...

It kills them with kindness. It kills them with kindness. And also, sometimes you meet... You're going out with someone and they have great friends. It's like mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you meet, you're going out with someone and they have great friends. It's like mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. You know, you can't change as friends, sadly. You can't change as friends. Fuck as friends. Tell me what you're on friends. What I would do is I would get his phone, I block them all on Instagram and I block.

Yeah, have them all put down. Sprinkle cyanide into the wine. That's what I do. Get rid of them. Fantastic advice as always. Thank you everyone for listening. Can we close on cyanide? I haven't sat in... Okay.

Cyanide. Okay. Okay. Well that's it for this week. That's been my therapist. Go to me for the bonus. Like, subscribe, tell your mates, keep sending your emails in too.

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