My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "My Mother Made Me, I've Nothing To Hide."
Episode Date: February 9, 2022It's time to get into that email inbox again and see what you've all been up to. This week, there's a nudity ick, a Smirnoff Ice and some BAD holidays! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an e...mail to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hello and welcome to this week's extra helping of my therapist goes to me with me vogue williams and
joanne mcnally we've had loads of your emails and we love them so keep sending them in to
hello at mtgmpod.com there's a lot of emails about ics again, but you know what? I was actually asked to join a debate in Trinity College about the ic.
Are you going into academia?
Are you going to be a doctor?
Are you doing a doctorate in the ic?
Yeah, everyone loves the ic.
There's a lot of them
yeah
that could be your
TED talk Vogue
my TED talk's on the ick
your TED talk on the ick
I could write a book
on icks
how's the kids book
coming along
oh it's written
and everything yeah
we're just going through
we're just finalizing
yeah I got an amazing
illustrator so
finalizing colors
and stuff like that
there's no baby
called Joanne though
I should have
I should have called one of them Joanne it's not a very popular name anymore well Vogue was never a popular name finalizing colors and stuff like that there's no baby called joanne though i should i should
have called her them joanne it's not a very popular name anymore well vogue was never
well it isn't her name no it wasn't at least joanne was trendy at one point
trendy
okay here listen to this ick this is from it's a listener email i love the listener emails
so my ick story is from when i a listener email i love the listener emails so my ick story
is from when i went out with this fellow from yorkshire shortly after moving to london from
ireland he was perfect on paper and i mean perfect attractive attentive extremely romantic great in
bed he was very close to his parents so one weekend we went to visit them i'm sat at the
kitchen table reading the sunday paper having a coffee when he comes down to the kitchen
he and his mom are engrossed in conversation when I happen to look up from the paper notice that he is bollock naked from the
waist down there he was stood wearing nothing but a t-shirt having a full-blown conversation with
his mom what I see I assuming he didn't realize either rather alarmingly flagged you're not wearing
any underpants and he shrugged and replied yeah i know and i flagged this obvious that his penis was on show and he nonchalantly
said my mother made me i've nothing to hide oh my god they both looked at me like i was the mad one
fucking weird in the confused conversation that directly followed he informed me i was looking
at his penis as a sexual object when it was in fact just
another body part that was the end as I knew I could never look at his body part erect again
as I think sexual object and just see him chatting to his mom with his fat lad hanging out
that is like I mean it rings familiar it's's kind of sounds like the argument for breastfeeding in public,
but which is a totally different situation.
Your mum made you put like, you fucking put it away.
You're a grown man.
You're flashing your own mother.
That's a fetish.
I feel like some people are more like Spencer is happy to walk around
bollock naked.
He sleeps naked and everything like that.
I have like
I love pyjamas
I wouldn't get naked
I don't really care
if Amber sees me naked
but I wouldn't like
go out of my way
to let her see me naked
she loses her shit
if I see her naked
I just think
I feel like
Irish people
are a bit more
I don't know
we like to hide our bits
I'm a bit of an
exhibitionist really
no you
Joanne you went
absolutely nuts when I was trying to get into the bathroom when you were having a shower your entire family trying to bail into the our bits I'm a bit of an exhibitionist really no you Joanne you went absolutely nuts
when I was trying to get
into the bathroom
when you were having a chair
your entire family
trying to bail into the bathroom
when I'm naked
and you're surprised
I had a reaction to that
when I say an exhibitionist
I mean I'm not shy
like
do I want
Theodore, Gigi and Spencer
to see me naked
no
no I don't
okay fine
I didn't realise
there was a specific line
I meant friends and there was a specific line.
I meant friends and family.
That's the line.
Okay, well, we won't be back.
No, I'm not a naked-y person.
Like, I don't really like walking around naked.
I woke up naked in a hotel room recently and rang down to get water
and was told I was in the wrong room.
In fact, I was in the wrong hotel.
But that's another story. You but that's having a lovely time that's a story that I must keep to myself it's the one of three it's one of three stories I
probably keep to myself for the rest of my life what are the other ones
I'll tell you over a pint of milk when I get back I was trying by the time you get back
I'll be back drinking
I know
I'm so
I know
this
it's like
I basically moved back to Ireland
it's wild
I know
well listen
why don't we go and get wine drunk
I've never done it like properly
this is like when I say to you
I'm going to exercise at 7am
you're full of shit
okay
let's fucking see right you're not you, I'm going to exercise at 7am. You're full of shit. Okay, let's fucking see.
You're not going to.
I'm going to puke all over you.
You're going to get so wine drunk.
You won't. You'll pour it over your back shoulder
into a pot plant and you'll be
chugging like Ribena telling me it's rosé.
You'll be faking it. You'll be faking it till you make it.
But I'll be so drunk I won't care.
Yeah, exactly.
Are you going to save your placenta?
No.
Have you ever seen a placenta?
Well, no.
I saw mine the last time
because I was like,
can let me see what that looks like.
And it is so disgusting.
No, I don't want to save that.
I'm all right, thanks.
I'll get my vitamins somewhere else.
Yeah, maybe just a bit of white fish.
Rather than your own gizzards
oh that's so disgusting here's a barman a kai recently had such a strong ache that i had to
reject a sexy european 10 years younger than me i was on holiday skiing just after christmas and
one of the few singles on the holiday the girls alerted me that there was a handsome young
bartender in one of the late night pubs then Then we went that night and he was so handsome that a few hours later I'd been escorted
up to his above bar
flat. This is when the ick
occurred. Upon being offered a drink
he gave me a Smirnoff
ice. A Smirnoff
ice. And he was a bartender.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Was he using
it as a mixer? No.
Oh, it was the hell drink. Yeah, or
a Desperados. She had to leave immediately and never go back. No. Oh, it's a drink. Or a Desperados.
She had to leave immediately and never
go back.
Love the show, Jen.
No, no, no, no.
I'd actually kind of
like the nostalgia
of a Smirnoff Ice.
Do you remember?
Like, you'd be rich
if you were drinking
a Smirnoff Ice
back in the day.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
But Smirnoff Ice
is an alco-pop for,
it's what we use
to get 11-year-olds
into drinking.
So a grown man
drinking it is unsettling
either he's
entertaining 11 year old children
or he has the palate
of an 11 year old
either way
it's a no for me
have you ever had a Desperados
I had to
I was DJing
with them at a fest
at Longitude
years ago
and it was the only thing
that they would give me
to drink
oh my god
you get so
fucking drunk
on Desperados there's tequila in it you know I used to work for Desperados did you? yeah in thingos oh my god you get so fucking drunk on desperados
you know I used tequila in it
you know I used to work
for desperados
did you
yeah in thingos
oh my god
that's when you fell asleep
onto the table
in your job
yes
I did a little shout out
for holiday
um
bad holiday
so did I
oh my god
I got some really good ones
oh god
so funny
my friend rode a guy
on a beach in Thailand
and wound up getting
yellow fever
my dad
this is all separate stories
my dad got attacked
by an octopus
see I told you
about the giant squid.
Here's another one.
Drove myself and my friend
off a cliff
on a quad in Eos.
Oh my God, didn't we all?
Was kissing a lad on holidays
and he unclipped my bum bag
and ran away with it.
Oh my God.
Love it.
This is a bit of a longer one,
but I found it very funny.
They want to be anonymous hen due to crack
out poland in april 2010 organized by the bride's young sister from monday to friday meaning five
days of annual leave needed for those in office work the polish president and other members of
the government were killed in a plane crash a couple of days before we went and the country
went into a national week of mourning no No bars, restaurants, or clubs were open.
Only place open is the A-Switch concentration camp.
So we go.
The Iceland ash cloud then hits.
All flights grounded.
No one can fly home.
Have to travel from Poland by train and road all the way home.
Broke up with my absolute asshole of a boyfriend
three days before we were going on holiday
stupidly we decided
to go anyway
we both developed
the worst stomach bugs
it was a non-stop
shitting scene
from bridesmaids
awful situation to be in
I later found out
he was cheating on me
with a girl from work
and had got another
girl's number prior
to us breaking up
he spent half his time
flirting with the staff
while I was left on my own
nightmare
needless to say I booked a flight and went home I think I went out with the staff while I was left on my own. Nightmare. Needless to say,
I booked a flight and went home.
I think I went out with him.
Pretty sure I dated that guy as well.
Here's another one.
I got a leg wax in Thailand
and every hair follicle in my leg
got infected and grew into pustules.
Oh my God.
Here's another one.
Smoked a $1 joint in Thailand,
woke up alone on a beach
using a dog as a cushion.
Oh my God.
Thailand stories are the worst.
Have you been to Thailand?
Yeah, do you remember?
That's where I split my head open
on a porcelain squatter.
You see, Thailand is fucking dangerous.
I remember once I got so drunk,
I went home and started eating the pizza
that I'd bought earlier on the day.
And then it was only after about slice three,
I realized it was crawling in about slice three I realised it was
crawling in ants
so I'd eaten
all these ants
oh sick
there was a lot of stories
those buckets
there was a lot of stories
actually coming in
about people getting
like worms
in their bodies and stuff
and things hatching in them
here's one
the spider's hatched
under her skin
moved under her skin
and her back
I wouldn't be able for that
here's Amber
she must have heard
what we were saying about her
tell her I drank everything
I want to see her reaction
come here
Joanne's going to say something to you
hey
Joanne drank your gins
drank everything
and left all the lights on
I'll be checking the cupboard
when I get home
I obviously need to get
a lock on that too
There'll be nothing in there
She needs to get a lock
on the cupboard
There'll be nothing in there
I was hoping
we were actually talking
and we were hoping
that you wouldn't find
you wouldn't go rooting
in the utility room
I went straight
to the utility room
I had time to kill
I had time to kill because I couldn't get into your bedroom so that was an extra half an hour I had to root around the utility room. I went straight to the utility room. I had time to kill. I had time to kill
because I couldn't get into your bedroom.
So that was an extra half an hour
I had to route around the utility room.
What's going to happen with them
when you have the baby?
Are we going to have to take a little break?
It's a couple of hours a week.
No, we won't have to take a break.
I'll do it from my hospital bed.
If I give birth on like
the day that we're supposed to record, we might have to take a break. I'll do it from my hospital bed. If I give birth on like the day that we're supposed to record,
we might have to just hold back.
Are you joking?
Are you not going to take any maternity leave?
Well, like I will, but like I don't find this like to be a stressful job.
I enjoy doing this job.
Well, I plan on taking maternity leave because I'm the godmother.
So I'll be taking a break from work.
taking a break from work that is all from this extra helping of my therapist ghosted me so keep sending your emails to hello at mt to hello at mtgmpod.com we'll be back with the full episode
on friday goodbye Friday. Goodbye.