My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "She's Watching My Insta Stories..."
Episode Date: June 29, 2022There's another appeal for help from a listener this week.... What should you do if his ex is watching your Insta stories?? Vogue & Joanne to the rescue! Plus - business class, cocaine, champagne ...and heavy repetition of the word (?) "pwingies". If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Joanne McNally.
Oh.
You are joking.
She had three minutes in a row.
She didn't even do that on purpose.
With me, Jo, do you know what?
You cut this.
With me, Vogue Williams, and her, Joanne McNally.
I'm not cutting nothing.
Someone tagged me in this story.
They were like,
I think you'd enjoy this.
And I absolutely did.
So it was someone
who wrote in to an agony aunt
online and the agony aunt
re-shared it.
It's kind of long, but anyway.
Backstory.
Me and my boyfriend
were on holiday in Tenerife
a few months ago.
We were in an all-inclusive resort
and we were standing
in one of the shops in the lobby
where you can buy
extra snacks and stuff.
A very posh British man
walked in with his
12-ish year old son
and they were looking
around the shop. They went over to where the crisps were and the boys seemed very posh British man walked in with his 12-ish year old son and they were looking around the shop.
They went over to where
the crisps were
and the boy seemed
very interested in the Pringles.
The father then asked him
in a very cutesy,
possibly over the top
for his age voice,
do you want some
Pringles for the room?
Yes, he called Pringles
Pringles.
Me and my boyfriend
found this quite funny.
The first few days
were fine,
we were both joking about it
and kept repeating it
to one another
as it was a funny way
to refer to Pringles,
especially as the man
was talking to his son like he was a baby. to refer to Pringles especially as the man was talking to his son
like he was a baby.
This was at the start
of our two weeks holiday.
My boyfriend did not stop saying
do you want some Twinkies
for the room
for the whole two weeks
we were on holiday.
He would literally say it
at least once a minute.
He would even torment me
by starting a sentence
completely unrelated to it
then finishing with
do you want some Twinkies
for the room
as some sort of
sick punchline
it's been over
three months
since we've returned
and he will not
stop saying
do you want some
Twinkies for the room
it's driving me insane
I begged him to stop
I begged him to stop
but he honestly thinks
I'm just playing along
with his joke
I can't have a serious
conversation with him
because he always
wants us to sleep in
do you want some
twinkies through the room
this is a five year
relationship
it was absolutely fine
up until this point
this is the man
I wanted to spend
the rest of my life with
but now I don't even
want to see him
because I'm afraid
of what he will say
do you want some
Twinkies to throw
I'm really refusing
to talk to him
unless he stops
I'm honestly afraid
that he will say
he's going to stop
and then just carry on
please help
am I blowing this
out of proportion
please say she wrote back please say she wrote back Please help, am I blowing this out of proportion?
Please say she wrote back.
Please say she wrote back.
Oh God, it made me laugh so much.
The agony out right back. I only read that and then obviously pissed myself.
I actually feel what's happened there
is that he actually wants
to break up with her.
Do you think?
There's no way
you could continue.
That's a sick joke
that's gone too far.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do want some bringies though.
You'd read the room
after a while,
wouldn't you?
But I love the way she goes,
this is the man
who wants to spend the rest of my life.
I'm worried he'll say
he'll stop when he won't.
He's obviously got addiction issues
and now he's addicted
to saying Pwingies
do you want some
Pwingies for the room
it is a much nicer word
Pringles
if you're listening
you should actually
you should rethink your name
Pringies is much nicer
I want a Pringie
I don't want a Pringle
I don't like baby
I don't like baby
do you know what I mean
yeah yeah
do you know when people
like
I also don't like
too heavy an abbreviation
do you know what the Australians
no respect
I love an Aussie
but they abbreviate everything
everything
what's your Eddie
your address
yeah
it's like come on guys
I don't like baby chat
past a certain age
like obviously I'll baby chat
auto but like
not
when they start like
saying hi and stuff like that
that's when the baby chat
stops for me
also when I
there was a woman on the train
the other day
obviously where I fucking live
and um
she was like mummy's stressed get the other day obviously where I fucking live and she was like
mummy's dressed
get the bags
mummy's
and I was like
anyone
she was like this really posh English
her kids were wearing bowler hats
and everything
and I was like
anyone who refers themselves
as mummy the whole time
the kids were like
old enough to know
who she was
do you know what I mean
mummy's dressed
gather your bags for mummy
please children
get back
and I was like
calm down
I'm kind of worried
that I do that
come to mama
yeah but that's different
because they need to come to you
this is true
and they're already young
okay two emails
to listen to
hit me
hi
I've been seeing my boyfriend
for two years
it's all going great
yay finally
but his ex-girlfriend
from seven years ago
has been watching
my Instagram stories
on the reg
uh oh
yes
I know I should
Scarlett
for getting caught yeah you dumbass open another account Jesus Instagram stories on the reg. Uh-oh. Yes, I know I should just... Scarlett, forget it.
God, yeah, you dumbass.
Yeah.
Open another account.
It's a stock account.
Jesus.
You weirdo.
If you're going to be weird,
just, like, get it sorted.
Do you want me to tell you what to do?
Yes, I know I should just make my...
I have.
Do you want some plinks?
I have.
I have some.
Is it a twink is it the twinkies
when you said
I have a different
account
I have my mum's
I have my mum's
account on my page
because sometimes
she's really embarrassing
and I have to delete
stories
so
you're going in
deleting your mum's
stories
no I have only
done it twice that's hilarious stories no I have only done it twice
that's hilarious
but
but
I have her account
so when I want to do
a private stalk
and so when I do it
through her account
but I think people might know
that it's
that's your
like do you know what I mean
that's not a fake account
that's going it
that's
I know you just said it
on the podcast
so anyone who's Sandra Wilson
is watching your stories
it's Vogue
stalking you
there you go
well I'm going to open
another account
to screen
use all mine
yeah yeah yeah
I'll just
I'll link one in two ads
yes I know I should just
make my profile private
but I do get a lot of
satisfaction from knowing
she watches them
guilty
I am partial to a bit of drama
not a lot
nothing life changing
just enough to make
a Sunday afternoon
a little bit more interesting
100%
like I couldn't agree
with her more.
I find it so entertaining.
I would be the same.
I find it so entertaining
that she goes out of her way
to search my profile
and watch my stories
that usually are just photos
of my dog or food I'm going to eat.
I've said to my boyfriend about it
and he says he finds it funny
and that she's likely
just waiting for me to message her.
Well, I'm taking the bait
and I want to message her so bad,
but I'd love your advice first.
What would you do? Is it worth the drama? I absolutely would not message her and I want to message her so bad, but I'd love your advice first. What would you do?
Is it worth the drama?
I absolutely would not message her.
Why would you message her?
She's totally within her rights.
If your page is public,
she's totally within her rights.
We're always snooping.
This is the funny thing.
Everyone publicly pretends
they don't care about their exes.
They don't care about their boyfriend's exes.
They don't care about their girlfriend's future exes.
Everyone cares.
Yeah, and everyone is snooping.
Everyone's snooping.
We have too much access to people.
We're basically all little spies.
Don't bring it out into the public domain
by mailing her. Like, that's just, then you'll
be the weird one, not her watching the stories.
Yeah, don't humiliate her. She probably thinks she's
maybe using a sock account or maybe she thinks that
if you've got a big... What do you mean a sock account?
Sock account is a fake account, like a sock.
They call it sock accounts. Oh, do they? Yeah.
So it's does accounts on Twitter
you know
AC
23568
I had one of them
on to me the other day
you made a holy show
of yourself on them
not only have you
humiliated yourself
it was some TV show
humiliated yourself
in front of Ireland
and the UK
but the whole of America
congratulations Joanne
did you say
thank you very much
I was like thanks dad
anyway no
do not mail
no
everyone does it
I don't know if women
are maybe more prone to it
we like a bit of investigating
we like to know
what our exes are up to
I would just
like you're getting
pleasure out of it
you find it really entertaining
so that you should take that joy
and be happy with it
don't like
try and throw a spanner
into the works.
Yeah.
Just put up loads of pictures
of you and your boyfriend riding.
Also, it's so funny
because you're like,
what do you,
when you're in that position,
you're like,
what do you want to see?
You don't want to see,
like you're actually looking,
it's almost kind of self-harm
because you're only,
eventually you're going to see
something that hurts you.
It's like,
it's like itching a scab.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
You can't leave it alone
but ultimately it's going to come back
and bite you in the ass.
Yeah.
You need to like
if you don't want
if you can't stop
if you physically can't stop yourself
which sometimes is the case
you've got to do some blocking.
You've got to block that ex.
Yeah, totally.
Then you can just unblock.
It's so easy.
I know, I know.
Well, I don't think you can block
somebody that's already blocked you.
Which is kind of annoying.
Anyway, next email.
Hi, ladies.
Just had to pause this week's pod to mail in.
This is hands down one of the most
mortifying things that's ever happened to me
and only sharing as I've had several
beach wines on holiday,
but here we are.
A few years ago,
me and my now husband have decided
to try and mix things up in the bedroom.
He suggested cocaine and champagne.
I hadn't really done drugs before,
but it was early days
and I was still trying to impress him.
Early days?
Oh, now, husband.
And appear cool and carefree.
I guess he was expecting wild sex,
but what he got was me totally mused,
playing draw something on my phone for six...
For six hours.
Luckily, we still find it hilarious,
but safe to say drugs aren't for me.
Still might consider cat over anal.
She went into herself.
She went into a hole.
She went into a coke hole.
What'd she say she was playing?
She was playing draw something on my phone.
I can't think of anything worse.
That is so funny.
I think the idea of coke and champagne
sounds sexier than probably the reality.
And we didn't say Coke either.
We said MDMA.
You've really fucked up.
Did you see
that they're talking
about bringing out
double-decker airplanes?
I saw that.
But now when you sent me that picture, right,
so this is, it says it's going to bring economy to a whole new level of hell.
Yeah.
First of all, my advice in economy,
always take a window seat
because then you can put your legs up on the seat in front
and like kind of, you can manoeuvre in a way to fall asleep.
You need that.
The aisle seat doesn't give you anywhere for your head to go.
No one would choose an aisle seat.
An aisle seat is when
you're not organised enough.
Like I was flying
somewhere the other day
and I got on
and I always book
a window seat
because I always sleep on planes.
Yeah.
And I got on
and there was a man in my seat
because his friends
were on the seats around me
and he's like,
oh, do you mind?
And I was like,
well, where's your seat?
It was an aisle seat.
And I was like,
I do fucking mind, yeah.
Yeah, there's some things
I wouldn't swap.
Anyone will swap you a middle,
but I'm not swapping my window.
No!
I was like,
but I didn't want to sit with them.
They were a cricket group
or something,
do you know what I mean?
He's like,
we've been drinking all day.
So I couldn't really sit
in the middle of them.
But I said,
I pointed my finger at him.
I'm very aggressive at the moment.
I'm clearly pre-menstrual.
I said,
I'll give you my seat, but I want you to know that it's a really big deal for me to do that because I'm very aggressive at the moment. I'm clearly pre-menstrual. I said, I'll give you my seat,
but I want you to know
that it's a really big deal
for me to do that
because I specifically chose
to get the window seat
because I have a very long day.
You're dead right, though.
And then we sat in the fucking tarmac
for three hours.
Oh, I'd be ill.
I wouldn't give up my window
for anyone.
No way.
I didn't want to deal
with whatever kind of stag vibes
I was going to have to deal with
for the flight
but the picture you sent me
so it's a double decker seat
so there's two people
that have to
like those buggies
have you ever seen those buggies
that's exactly what it's like
always feel sorry
for the baby underneath
because I mean
what's the crack like
what's he looking at
you're going to suffocate
did you see the picture Jo
they're going to suffocate to death
I don't know if it's one of these
clickbait things
I mean
I think I'd feel cosier
underneath though
oh but they can't
you wouldn't be able
to get out.
Imagine trying to get out.
You can't get out
of a window seat anyway
so I'm used to just
sitting there.
You can climb.
You have to kind of
get up and climb over
but if there's seats
on top of you...
Oh, imagine Joanne
climbing over you
with her bare feet.
It genuinely...
It genuinely looks
like torture.
I thought it looked
quite comfy
because I quite liked
the longer things
at the side of your face so like if you fall asleep they should actually do those. Just put longer bits I thought it looked quite comfy because I quite liked I quite liked the longer things
at the side of your face
so like if you fall asleep
they should actually do those
just put longer bits
at the side of your face
and then you can fall asleep
by the side
I've never flown anything
other than economy
but I'm going to Dubai
for shows in January
and we're trying to figure out
the deal with the promoter now
and we're trying to get
a business flight
and I will be beyond excited
like I just think,
it's not first class, it's business.
I don't know what the difference is.
Do you get like a free briefcase?
What happens in business?
Business is amazing.
Like, that's the kind of holiday I want.
I want someone to just say,
I'm going to give you,
I told you, a trip to Perth, business.
You'll never get off the plane.
I'll wait there to refuel as well.
Like, I don't want to get off the plane.
I just want to stay there
for like
48 hours
if possible
what happens
tell us though
tell me what happens
you get real cutlery
nice food
I always bring my own food
as well though
for snacks
real cutlery
real
like metal
that's so funny
so what
they don't let terrorists
fly first class
when me and
Pedro were flying
to Barcelona
we were in the
he's in
we went into the
Aer Lingus lounge
the gold circle lounge
oh my god it's stunning
I saw someone actually
post something really funny
on Instagram today
she was like
I pay 700 pounds a year
to be able to drink
one free mimosa
in the airport
in a lounge
before I go on holidays
worth every penny
like it probably
it's the idea of it
is more so exciting
and like the exclusivity
of it and stuff
is really cool
but you'd want to be
going to the airport
like way way way
in advance
to even get anything
out of sitting there
yeah yeah yeah
I'm too busy going around
getting my bits in the airport
I have a job to do
when I get to the airport
I have to go
sit down have a nice meal
and then I like to like
but you could do that
in the lounge
nah they don't have
great food in the lounge that's where they let themselves down you could do that in the lounge nah they don't have great food in the lounge
that's where they
let themselves down
although I once was
in a lounge
and they had the
nicest biscuits
the nicest lounge
I was ever in
was me and Des Bishop
coming back from
this travel show
we filmed in Spain
and Des paid for his boat
to go into the lounge
because Des is like
he's just saying like that
and Des doesn't drink
and it was 9am
and of course
I mean the most exciting
thing about the lounge is it's free booze and Des just sat drink and it was 9am and of course I mean the most exciting thing
about the lounge
is it's free booze
and Des just sat there
and fucking watched me
absolutely suck the place dry
I was like it's all free
it was like
I was
I was such a scavenger
it was like
I never left the house
my mother would be mortified
Des was like
calm down
I'd actually love
to experience
an airport lounge with you
the excitement
I know
I know
like the one in the Aer Lingus,
if they're on optics,
you just pour it on.
It sounds like we work for Aer Lingus though.
This is like the third pod
we've spoken about Aer Lingus.
We're just very patriotic.
Well, considering every time
we do a kind of sneaky call out
for free stuff,
the brand that we want
never actually gives us anything.
Get lost!
So it'll be,
who'll come in now?
City Jet will come in
with a free flight to Jersey or something. That's actually a great idea be, who'll come in now? City Jet will come in with the free flight to Jersey
or something.
That's actually a great idea.
Do City Jet fly to Jersey?
I don't think so.
Easy Jet,
Easy Jet fly to Jersey.
Fuck Easy Jet,
they're falling apart at the seams.
Well, I have to say,
I've never had a bad experience
with Easy Jet.
What?
Did they cancel my flight to Barcelona?
Yeah, but that's your experience.
I've never had a bad experience
with myself personally.
That's because you have your own plane.
I can only say.
Like, let's be real,
that's why you haven't had a bad experience with it. I said your own plane. I can only say... Like, let's be real. That's why you haven't
had a bad experience.
I said on EasyJet
and I'm only...
I'm only allowed to speak
bad of airlines
that have fucked me off.
Like, I can't really
fly around there.
I can't, you know?
And anyway,
the colours they use
make me feel a bit ill.
I know.
So that in itself,
they've really...
They've done a number
on me a few times.
No, obviously,
I'll see you on a Ryanair
flight in two days' time
flying from Glasgow to Dublin.
Bye.
Thanks for listening
to our bonus episode.
Uh oh.
Thank you for listening
to our bonus episode
with me, Vogue Williams
and her, Jo.
And McNally.
Jo McNally, the producer.
Joana McNally.
Does anyone know anyone
in Sheffield? I've sold no tickets in Sheffield. Please, Jo. And McNally. Jo McNally, the producer. Does anyone know anyone in Sheffield?
I've sold no tickets in Sheffield.
Please, God.
What have I done to you? Thank you.