My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "She's Watching My Insta Stories..."

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

There's another appeal for help from a listener this week.... What should you do if his ex is watching your Insta stories?? Vogue & Joanne to the rescue! Plus - business class, cocaine, champagne ...and heavy repetition of the word (?) "pwingies". If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Joanne McNally. Oh. You are joking. She had three minutes in a row. She didn't even do that on purpose. With me, Jo, do you know what? You cut this. With me, Vogue Williams, and her, Joanne McNally.
Starting point is 00:00:20 I'm not cutting nothing. Someone tagged me in this story. They were like, I think you'd enjoy this. And I absolutely did. So it was someone who wrote in to an agony aunt online and the agony aunt
Starting point is 00:00:31 re-shared it. It's kind of long, but anyway. Backstory. Me and my boyfriend were on holiday in Tenerife a few months ago. We were in an all-inclusive resort and we were standing
Starting point is 00:00:38 in one of the shops in the lobby where you can buy extra snacks and stuff. A very posh British man walked in with his 12-ish year old son and they were looking around the shop. They went over to where the crisps were and the boys seemed very posh British man walked in with his 12-ish year old son and they were looking around the shop.
Starting point is 00:00:45 They went over to where the crisps were and the boy seemed very interested in the Pringles. The father then asked him in a very cutesy, possibly over the top for his age voice,
Starting point is 00:00:52 do you want some Pringles for the room? Yes, he called Pringles Pringles. Me and my boyfriend found this quite funny. The first few days were fine,
Starting point is 00:00:59 we were both joking about it and kept repeating it to one another as it was a funny way to refer to Pringles, especially as the man was talking to his son like he was a baby. to refer to Pringles especially as the man was talking to his son like he was a baby.
Starting point is 00:01:07 This was at the start of our two weeks holiday. My boyfriend did not stop saying do you want some Twinkies for the room for the whole two weeks we were on holiday. He would literally say it
Starting point is 00:01:14 at least once a minute. He would even torment me by starting a sentence completely unrelated to it then finishing with do you want some Twinkies for the room as some sort of
Starting point is 00:01:25 sick punchline it's been over three months since we've returned and he will not stop saying do you want some Twinkies for the room
Starting point is 00:01:34 it's driving me insane I begged him to stop I begged him to stop but he honestly thinks I'm just playing along with his joke I can't have a serious conversation with him
Starting point is 00:01:47 because he always wants us to sleep in do you want some twinkies through the room this is a five year relationship it was absolutely fine up until this point
Starting point is 00:02:00 this is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but now I don't even want to see him because I'm afraid of what he will say do you want some
Starting point is 00:02:11 Twinkies to throw I'm really refusing to talk to him unless he stops I'm honestly afraid that he will say he's going to stop and then just carry on
Starting point is 00:02:20 please help am I blowing this out of proportion please say she wrote back please say she wrote back Please help, am I blowing this out of proportion? Please say she wrote back. Please say she wrote back. Oh God, it made me laugh so much. The agony out right back. I only read that and then obviously pissed myself.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I actually feel what's happened there is that he actually wants to break up with her. Do you think? There's no way you could continue. That's a sick joke that's gone too far.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do want some bringies though. You'd read the room after a while, wouldn't you? But I love the way she goes, this is the man who wants to spend the rest of my life.
Starting point is 00:03:00 I'm worried he'll say he'll stop when he won't. He's obviously got addiction issues and now he's addicted to saying Pwingies do you want some Pwingies for the room it is a much nicer word
Starting point is 00:03:08 Pringles if you're listening you should actually you should rethink your name Pringies is much nicer I want a Pringie I don't want a Pringle I don't like baby
Starting point is 00:03:17 I don't like baby do you know what I mean yeah yeah do you know when people like I also don't like too heavy an abbreviation do you know what the Australians
Starting point is 00:03:23 no respect I love an Aussie but they abbreviate everything everything what's your Eddie your address yeah it's like come on guys
Starting point is 00:03:30 I don't like baby chat past a certain age like obviously I'll baby chat auto but like not when they start like saying hi and stuff like that that's when the baby chat
Starting point is 00:03:38 stops for me also when I there was a woman on the train the other day obviously where I fucking live and um she was like mummy's stressed get the other day obviously where I fucking live and she was like mummy's dressed
Starting point is 00:03:47 get the bags mummy's and I was like anyone she was like this really posh English her kids were wearing bowler hats and everything and I was like
Starting point is 00:03:53 anyone who refers themselves as mummy the whole time the kids were like old enough to know who she was do you know what I mean mummy's dressed gather your bags for mummy
Starting point is 00:04:00 please children get back and I was like calm down I'm kind of worried that I do that come to mama yeah but that's different
Starting point is 00:04:06 because they need to come to you this is true and they're already young okay two emails to listen to hit me hi I've been seeing my boyfriend
Starting point is 00:04:14 for two years it's all going great yay finally but his ex-girlfriend from seven years ago has been watching my Instagram stories on the reg
Starting point is 00:04:21 uh oh yes I know I should Scarlett for getting caught yeah you dumbass open another account Jesus Instagram stories on the reg. Uh-oh. Yes, I know I should just... Scarlett, forget it. God, yeah, you dumbass. Yeah. Open another account.
Starting point is 00:04:28 It's a stock account. Jesus. You weirdo. If you're going to be weird, just, like, get it sorted. Do you want me to tell you what to do? Yes, I know I should just make my... I have.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Do you want some plinks? I have. I have some. Is it a twink is it the twinkies when you said I have a different account I have my mum's
Starting point is 00:04:56 I have my mum's account on my page because sometimes she's really embarrassing and I have to delete stories so you're going in
Starting point is 00:05:03 deleting your mum's stories no I have only done it twice that's hilarious stories no I have only done it twice that's hilarious but but I have her account
Starting point is 00:05:09 so when I want to do a private stalk and so when I do it through her account but I think people might know that it's that's your like do you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:05:16 that's not a fake account that's going it that's I know you just said it on the podcast so anyone who's Sandra Wilson is watching your stories it's Vogue
Starting point is 00:05:22 stalking you there you go well I'm going to open another account to screen use all mine yeah yeah yeah I'll just
Starting point is 00:05:29 I'll link one in two ads yes I know I should just make my profile private but I do get a lot of satisfaction from knowing she watches them guilty I am partial to a bit of drama
Starting point is 00:05:38 not a lot nothing life changing just enough to make a Sunday afternoon a little bit more interesting 100% like I couldn't agree with her more.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I find it so entertaining. I would be the same. I find it so entertaining that she goes out of her way to search my profile and watch my stories that usually are just photos of my dog or food I'm going to eat.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I've said to my boyfriend about it and he says he finds it funny and that she's likely just waiting for me to message her. Well, I'm taking the bait and I want to message her so bad, but I'd love your advice first. What would you do? Is it worth the drama? I absolutely would not message her and I want to message her so bad, but I'd love your advice first. What would you do?
Starting point is 00:06:05 Is it worth the drama? I absolutely would not message her. Why would you message her? She's totally within her rights. If your page is public, she's totally within her rights. We're always snooping. This is the funny thing.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Everyone publicly pretends they don't care about their exes. They don't care about their boyfriend's exes. They don't care about their girlfriend's future exes. Everyone cares. Yeah, and everyone is snooping. Everyone's snooping. We have too much access to people.
Starting point is 00:06:25 We're basically all little spies. Don't bring it out into the public domain by mailing her. Like, that's just, then you'll be the weird one, not her watching the stories. Yeah, don't humiliate her. She probably thinks she's maybe using a sock account or maybe she thinks that if you've got a big... What do you mean a sock account? Sock account is a fake account, like a sock.
Starting point is 00:06:41 They call it sock accounts. Oh, do they? Yeah. So it's does accounts on Twitter you know AC 23568 I had one of them on to me the other day you made a holy show
Starting point is 00:06:50 of yourself on them not only have you humiliated yourself it was some TV show humiliated yourself in front of Ireland and the UK but the whole of America
Starting point is 00:06:58 congratulations Joanne did you say thank you very much I was like thanks dad anyway no do not mail no everyone does it
Starting point is 00:07:11 I don't know if women are maybe more prone to it we like a bit of investigating we like to know what our exes are up to I would just like you're getting pleasure out of it
Starting point is 00:07:19 you find it really entertaining so that you should take that joy and be happy with it don't like try and throw a spanner into the works. Yeah. Just put up loads of pictures
Starting point is 00:07:26 of you and your boyfriend riding. Also, it's so funny because you're like, what do you, when you're in that position, you're like, what do you want to see? You don't want to see,
Starting point is 00:07:36 like you're actually looking, it's almost kind of self-harm because you're only, eventually you're going to see something that hurts you. It's like, it's like itching a scab. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:07:44 Yeah, yeah. You can't leave it alone but ultimately it's going to come back and bite you in the ass. Yeah. You need to like if you don't want if you can't stop
Starting point is 00:07:51 if you physically can't stop yourself which sometimes is the case you've got to do some blocking. You've got to block that ex. Yeah, totally. Then you can just unblock. It's so easy. I know, I know.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Well, I don't think you can block somebody that's already blocked you. Which is kind of annoying. Anyway, next email. Hi, ladies. Just had to pause this week's pod to mail in. This is hands down one of the most mortifying things that's ever happened to me
Starting point is 00:08:12 and only sharing as I've had several beach wines on holiday, but here we are. A few years ago, me and my now husband have decided to try and mix things up in the bedroom. He suggested cocaine and champagne. I hadn't really done drugs before,
Starting point is 00:08:24 but it was early days and I was still trying to impress him. Early days? Oh, now, husband. And appear cool and carefree. I guess he was expecting wild sex, but what he got was me totally mused, playing draw something on my phone for six...
Starting point is 00:08:36 For six hours. Luckily, we still find it hilarious, but safe to say drugs aren't for me. Still might consider cat over anal. She went into herself. She went into a hole. She went into a coke hole. What'd she say she was playing?
Starting point is 00:08:54 She was playing draw something on my phone. I can't think of anything worse. That is so funny. I think the idea of coke and champagne sounds sexier than probably the reality. And we didn't say Coke either. We said MDMA. You've really fucked up.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Did you see that they're talking about bringing out double-decker airplanes? I saw that. But now when you sent me that picture, right, so this is, it says it's going to bring economy to a whole new level of hell. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:31 First of all, my advice in economy, always take a window seat because then you can put your legs up on the seat in front and like kind of, you can manoeuvre in a way to fall asleep. You need that. The aisle seat doesn't give you anywhere for your head to go. No one would choose an aisle seat. An aisle seat is when
Starting point is 00:09:46 you're not organised enough. Like I was flying somewhere the other day and I got on and I always book a window seat because I always sleep on planes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:57 And I got on and there was a man in my seat because his friends were on the seats around me and he's like, oh, do you mind? And I was like, well, where's your seat?
Starting point is 00:10:03 It was an aisle seat. And I was like, I do fucking mind, yeah. Yeah, there's some things I wouldn't swap. Anyone will swap you a middle, but I'm not swapping my window. No!
Starting point is 00:10:12 I was like, but I didn't want to sit with them. They were a cricket group or something, do you know what I mean? He's like, we've been drinking all day. So I couldn't really sit
Starting point is 00:10:18 in the middle of them. But I said, I pointed my finger at him. I'm very aggressive at the moment. I'm clearly pre-menstrual. I said, I'll give you my seat, but I want you to know that it's a really big deal for me to do that because I'm very aggressive at the moment. I'm clearly pre-menstrual. I said, I'll give you my seat, but I want you to know
Starting point is 00:10:26 that it's a really big deal for me to do that because I specifically chose to get the window seat because I have a very long day. You're dead right, though. And then we sat in the fucking tarmac for three hours.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Oh, I'd be ill. I wouldn't give up my window for anyone. No way. I didn't want to deal with whatever kind of stag vibes I was going to have to deal with for the flight
Starting point is 00:10:46 but the picture you sent me so it's a double decker seat so there's two people that have to like those buggies have you ever seen those buggies that's exactly what it's like always feel sorry
Starting point is 00:10:53 for the baby underneath because I mean what's the crack like what's he looking at you're going to suffocate did you see the picture Jo they're going to suffocate to death I don't know if it's one of these
Starting point is 00:10:59 clickbait things I mean I think I'd feel cosier underneath though oh but they can't you wouldn't be able to get out. Imagine trying to get out.
Starting point is 00:11:07 You can't get out of a window seat anyway so I'm used to just sitting there. You can climb. You have to kind of get up and climb over but if there's seats
Starting point is 00:11:12 on top of you... Oh, imagine Joanne climbing over you with her bare feet. It genuinely... It genuinely looks like torture. I thought it looked
Starting point is 00:11:21 quite comfy because I quite liked the longer things at the side of your face so like if you fall asleep they should actually do those. Just put longer bits I thought it looked quite comfy because I quite liked I quite liked the longer things at the side of your face so like if you fall asleep they should actually do those just put longer bits
Starting point is 00:11:29 at the side of your face and then you can fall asleep by the side I've never flown anything other than economy but I'm going to Dubai for shows in January and we're trying to figure out
Starting point is 00:11:38 the deal with the promoter now and we're trying to get a business flight and I will be beyond excited like I just think, it's not first class, it's business. I don't know what the difference is. Do you get like a free briefcase?
Starting point is 00:11:50 What happens in business? Business is amazing. Like, that's the kind of holiday I want. I want someone to just say, I'm going to give you, I told you, a trip to Perth, business. You'll never get off the plane. I'll wait there to refuel as well.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Like, I don't want to get off the plane. I just want to stay there for like 48 hours if possible what happens tell us though tell me what happens
Starting point is 00:12:09 you get real cutlery nice food I always bring my own food as well though for snacks real cutlery real like metal
Starting point is 00:12:19 that's so funny so what they don't let terrorists fly first class when me and Pedro were flying to Barcelona we were in the
Starting point is 00:12:28 he's in we went into the Aer Lingus lounge the gold circle lounge oh my god it's stunning I saw someone actually post something really funny on Instagram today
Starting point is 00:12:35 she was like I pay 700 pounds a year to be able to drink one free mimosa in the airport in a lounge before I go on holidays worth every penny
Starting point is 00:12:44 like it probably it's the idea of it is more so exciting and like the exclusivity of it and stuff is really cool but you'd want to be going to the airport
Starting point is 00:12:50 like way way way in advance to even get anything out of sitting there yeah yeah yeah I'm too busy going around getting my bits in the airport I have a job to do
Starting point is 00:12:58 when I get to the airport I have to go sit down have a nice meal and then I like to like but you could do that in the lounge nah they don't have great food in the lounge that's where they let themselves down you could do that in the lounge nah they don't have great food in the lounge
Starting point is 00:13:05 that's where they let themselves down although I once was in a lounge and they had the nicest biscuits the nicest lounge I was ever in
Starting point is 00:13:11 was me and Des Bishop coming back from this travel show we filmed in Spain and Des paid for his boat to go into the lounge because Des is like he's just saying like that
Starting point is 00:13:20 and Des doesn't drink and it was 9am and of course I mean the most exciting thing about the lounge is it's free booze and Des just sat drink and it was 9am and of course I mean the most exciting thing about the lounge is it's free booze and Des just sat there
Starting point is 00:13:27 and fucking watched me absolutely suck the place dry I was like it's all free it was like I was I was such a scavenger it was like I never left the house
Starting point is 00:13:37 my mother would be mortified Des was like calm down I'd actually love to experience an airport lounge with you the excitement I know
Starting point is 00:13:44 I know like the one in the Aer Lingus, if they're on optics, you just pour it on. It sounds like we work for Aer Lingus though. This is like the third pod we've spoken about Aer Lingus. We're just very patriotic.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Well, considering every time we do a kind of sneaky call out for free stuff, the brand that we want never actually gives us anything. Get lost! So it'll be, who'll come in now?
Starting point is 00:14:03 City Jet will come in with a free flight to Jersey or something. That's actually a great idea be, who'll come in now? City Jet will come in with the free flight to Jersey or something. That's actually a great idea. Do City Jet fly to Jersey? I don't think so. Easy Jet, Easy Jet fly to Jersey.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Fuck Easy Jet, they're falling apart at the seams. Well, I have to say, I've never had a bad experience with Easy Jet. What? Did they cancel my flight to Barcelona? Yeah, but that's your experience.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I've never had a bad experience with myself personally. That's because you have your own plane. I can only say. Like, let's be real, that's why you haven't had a bad experience with it. I said your own plane. I can only say... Like, let's be real. That's why you haven't had a bad experience. I said on EasyJet
Starting point is 00:14:27 and I'm only... I'm only allowed to speak bad of airlines that have fucked me off. Like, I can't really fly around there. I can't, you know? And anyway,
Starting point is 00:14:34 the colours they use make me feel a bit ill. I know. So that in itself, they've really... They've done a number on me a few times. No, obviously,
Starting point is 00:14:42 I'll see you on a Ryanair flight in two days' time flying from Glasgow to Dublin. Bye. Thanks for listening to our bonus episode. Uh oh. Thank you for listening
Starting point is 00:14:57 to our bonus episode with me, Vogue Williams and her, Jo. And McNally. Jo McNally, the producer. Joana McNally. Does anyone know anyone in Sheffield? I've sold no tickets in Sheffield. Please, Jo. And McNally. Jo McNally, the producer. Does anyone know anyone in Sheffield?
Starting point is 00:15:05 I've sold no tickets in Sheffield. Please, God. What have I done to you? Thank you.

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