My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "The Latest Guy To Ghost Me..."
Episode Date: May 18, 2022It's time to dive back into your emails and see what you've been up to! This week, Vogue & Joanne hear all about yet another ghosting and an unfortunate incident with a sexy photo...If you'd like to g...et in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi!
Oh, hi Joanne!
Is this the extras episode?
Are you talking to me
or are you talking to them?
I'm talking to you and them.
Hi Vogue.
Hiya, we're back again.
Welcome back.
I'm absolutely thrilled
to be back
because I've been left alone
for a solid hour
and 15 minutes.
That just doesn't happen
in my life anymore.
You need to, yeah.
Where are the children?
No, I don't have a clue where they are.
How would I know?
Who cares?
Who cares?
They're somewhere.
They're grand.
They get an unfair time, those children, to be honest.
I'm sick of talking about them.
No, they're fantastic.
They're downstairs having a ball.
They're actually having a play date.
My friend Ashley's over.
And I'm 16 minutes late because, you know what, guys?
Do you know what?
Jo was 45 minutes late to this podcast,
so we can never give a shit again.
She had to get it in.
That's fair.
That is fair.
Welcome to the bonus episode.
I've done that bit.
Where we have a read.
We have a read of emails.
That's what we do.
We read.
Don't we, folks?
We have a read of emails. We read.
We advise.
We think.
Things percolate.
Oh, I love that.
Percolate's a great word.
Percolate's a great word.
But you wouldn't want one of those percolators.
A lot of mess.
That's a messy coffee.
We actually deserve
an award for improv.
I mean,
it's just quality
coming out of us today.
Absolute quality.
Well, I did.
I did.
I told you I had something to say
and I can't believe
you never knew this
and I can't believe
I've never told you about it.
We were talking about
Boris Becker
who has gone to jail.
He has gone to jail for two and a half years
for trying to hide shit.
And I think, you know,
it's a little bit excessive.
Because, come on, he was bankrupt.
Now, very sneaky of him to do that.
But, like, he was trying to hide houses
and shit like that.
Like, how did he think he was going to try
to hide a house?
There's no blanket big enough.
How do you hide a house?
I don't know how he hid the house.
He hid a few bits
and now look at him.
It was for his prison.
Do you know what I think
he's kind of blocking it,
like just kind of dancing
in front of it,
like nothing to see,
nothing to see here,
nothing to see here.
Boris, there's a whole house
behind you.
I know, but you know what though,
when you see everyone else
who's getting away with stuff,
celebs and like
breaking the law
and shit like that
he really didn't get away with it
like I mean
he got flung in jail
two and a half years
and it's just down the road
from Wimbledon
that's a stinger
that's a stinger
yeah
I heard he lost
20 million pounds
like what
are you spending it on
Alzo asked me
the other day
he was like
if you were a billionaire
would you still be like this
like saving money
on certain stuff
I was like absolutely
I certainly would
did you not want to
just go and like
splurge in Chanel
I was like
do you know how much
that shit costs
I was like no no no
he must have literally
been getting up
and lighting the barbecue
and just putting 50s
on it all day
to get rid of it
how do you get rid of it
and he wasn't spending
it on condoms anyway
sure he wasn't
the idiot
certainly wasn't throwing his sperm around town anyway. Sure he wasn't. The idiot.
Certainly wasn't.
Throwing his sperm around town to any woman who looked twice at him
by the sounds of it.
Is that not the most interesting thing
you've ever heard?
Like, what a stinger.
The broom cupboard.
Yeah, he got a blow in the broom cupboard.
Your one kept the sperm in her mouth
and then like turkey basted herself
and got pregnant.
I did a bit of reading on this
because I didn't know the story
of Vogue telling me the story.
She denies that
and I actually believe her
because how on earth
would you hold it in your mouth
for that length of time
to get to a home care shop
buy a turkey baster?
I assume there was some conversation.
She would have had the turkey baster with her.
He's like, nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah.
And her mouth is full.
Like, you'd notice that.
She's like, I don't know.
You're not taking it.
Nothing is full.
No, no, no.
And she's trying to hold it in her mouth.
I don't believe.
The funniest thing was him asking for a DNA test
off that to check that.
I know.
I've never seen a child.
It'd literally be like Otto coming out of you and you'd be like, I demand a DNA test of that to check that. I know. I've never seen a child. It'd literally be like Otto coming out of you
and you'd be like,
I demand a DNA test
for that child.
It was so obvious
to his kid.
But now I won't have that,
Joanne.
I don't like the truth
to get in the way
of a good story.
I'd rather my story
about the turkey baster.
Okay, yeah.
She smuggled it
in her cheeks.
Excuse me,
look at the size of my mouth.
Are you telling me
I couldn't smuggle sperm around
and still go about my day?
I could
I just
be accountable
Boris
be accountable
yeah we know
what you did
you dirty little bastard
you know
you did it in a broom
cupboard
you're 20 million
you could have
taken it to a hotel room
and bought a condom
you chose to save
money in there
cost him a fortune
in the end though
cost him a bloody fortune
I did like that story
poor Boris
what an epic fail
what an epic fail
like
it was so
the piece I was reading on it
they were like
I think they were being
intentionally shady
because the
the waitress who
who had his kid
she's like
Boris Becker ruined my life
she's
and then said
I can't remember her name
just say it's like
Sam Smith she's like Sam Smith.
She's like, Sam Smith tells us
from her one million pound Kensington apartment
bought by Boris Becker.
And I was like, rar!
Not a bad outcome now
for a blowy in a broom cupboard, I can tell you.
You know what I mean?
We'd all be smoking a sperm with the cheeks
if it was going to get us into a million pound apartment in Kensington. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? We'd all be smoking the sperm of the cheeks if it was going to get us into a million pound apartment
in Kensington.
Oh yeah.
If it's up,
if anyone here is with that shit up
for grabs,
me and Joanne are in.
Yeah, yeah.
Knock on the broom cupboard.
I'll be just in there waiting.
Any broom cupboard around London,
I'll be in there
any time of the day or night.
Ready to move into my new gaff.
Delighted.
Oh God.
That would be
fucking lovely
wouldn't it
so we've got some
emails
will I start
will I begin the reading
go
hi Joanne and Vogue
oh wow my name first
that never happens
who's this person
love them
I'm wrestling with
whether or not to call out
the latest guy
to ghost me
the latest
Jesus Christ
it's a cruel world
out there
I wouldn't normally
but he's been
especially shitty it It was casual,
but after a month, he started being flaky, and I
sensed he was maybe done, so I just asked
him. At this point, he told me
he wasn't, and he really missed me and had a dinner
that weekend he was going to invite me to, but
thought it wasn't my thing, so he went alone.
It was at his wedding
anniversary dinner. A week
later, and I'd heard nothing again, so I assumed it
was over and just forgot about it
but a week after that
I found out he'd took
someone else to the dinner
he'd told me about
and it's pretty serious
he's dating her
and has been the entire time
we've been seeing each other.
I don't think she knows I exist
so he's being crap to both of us.
I know people tend to say
to let the dead rest
and maybe I should have
taken hints before
but there was no need
for him to lie
and string me along
and part of me wonders
whether I'm just letting rude and disrespectful behavior slide if
I say nothing also maybe calling him out would make me feel better advice gratefully received
I have to say right I got ghosted before and I didn't call him out on it and I'm so angry that
I never did but I actually had a friend at the time who was like you can't do that you can You can't do that. And actually that was terrible advice. I think that if something's on your mind,
I would say to him, you know what? You're an awful fucking bollocks. That's what I'm going to,
I'm going to call you out on this, like carefully write a text and say what you have to say and then
block them and be happy with your life. And then you'll move on. It's like a sense of closure.
I honestly, this happened like
over five years ago
and I still think
if I bump into him,
I'm going to tell him
what an arsehole he is.
I agree with you.
I actually think
there's great closure
in making your point.
I think that often for me,
I worry about looking like I care,
even though I do care.
I don't want to look like I care.
And you're like,
oh, the biggest revenge
is to just not give a shit
because there is something
powerful about someone,
about not caring about someone,
about indifference.
There's a lot of power
in indifference.
But at the same time,
so I would be embarrassed
to be seen to care.
So I'd be like,
I'm not going to give him
the satisfaction
of thinking he cares
because he obviously
doesn't give a shit about me.
He obviously has no respect for me
and I don't want to look like I'm
Yeah, but have respect for yourself.
Have respect for yourself
to actually stick up for yourself
and be like, you know what?
That is shite behavior
and you're a shitebag.
I actually agree with you.
I think nothing wrong
with dropping a shitebag message,
blocking him immediately
so he has no response.
He's no right to reply.
And then you feel good about yourself.
Now, the other thing I will say,
and I was talking about this
with someone recently,
you know the kind of, when you're seeing someone
and you feel like maybe it's run its course.
Yeah.
But you never say it straight away because you don't.
It kind of sits with you for a while.
You process it.
You're like, has it run its course?
You're kind of weighing up the pros and cons.
So you don't say it straight away.
But at the same time, you're not as interested as you used to be. So you're not of weighing up the pros and cons so you don't say it straight away but at the same time you're not as interested as you used to be
so you're not as responsive
you're kind of doing this
it's called a phase out
I call it the long goodbye
the long goodbye okay
you're kind of setting them up
that you're going to pull the cord on it
you don't just pull the cord straight away
but then when you do pull the cord
they throw it back to you
being like well you're being a dickhead
you're not responding.
You're blah, blah.
You're like,
I would like to see what,
I'd like to know
what the listeners think.
Do you agree in the slow fade?
Or do you think
you just have to say it
straight away?
I kind of want to know
what's coming.
Otherwise, I'm like,
what?
It's too much of a shock.
It's like jumping
into the cold water.
You want to know
what's coming.
I'm like,
he's pulling away.
Is everything okay? Actually, no, it's not. So you have to give them a window and then they have to know it's coming i predict like he's pulling away is everything okay actually no
it's not so you have to give them a window and then they have to say it you're joe saying snip
and run i just don't believe people are that straightforward or that that's straight up i just
don't i think that you need more time to think about it as well to make sure that you're making
the right decision i'd rather a slow and fade long goodbye just so i can be 100 sure but the
problem is with the slow fade that if you start
fading someone out slow like I've been on the receipt
I've done the slow fading and I've been
slow faded and when you're being slowly faded
out it actually makes you crawl back
more which makes them
want you less.
You try to win them back because you don't know you're not
quite sure what's going on you're like maybe it's in my brain
maybe I can win them back so you actually end up
kind of going overboard
on messages again.
I don't know.
I mean, there's no,
there's no answer really.
Did I tell you I'm seeing someone?
Well, hang on
Actually you didn't get away with it Joanne
Listen to this right
Amber just sent me a message
She doesn't even know we're doing the pod
So what happened to Joanne's head
And secondly
Someone I work with said
That he saw her wearing the face off this guy
In Café Onsen on Sunday
You can't get away with anything in this town
Can you
What happened to her head You can't get away with anything in this town, can you?
What happened to her head?
I was wearing some lad like a nose bag
in Café Onsen in Dublin.
Can't even do that
with a bit of privacy
these days.
Ah, do you?
Not in Café Onsen.
Go somewhere nobody goes.
Yeah, no.
I was getting the wear done
on Café Onsen.
Listen.
Certainly wasn't.
You gotta get out and about.
Do you know what I mean absolutely
you gotta get your score on
my tongue likes to
my tongue likes to travel
oh my god
were you tonguing at the bar
well how else do you score
do you rub a nose
as with Spencer for nine years
I mean I wouldn't
I wouldn't
I wouldn't be like
not now I suppose
I suppose not now
what about you Jo
he's not
he's not going to vote.
Joe doesn't do tongue kissing.
He doesn't like it.
His new wife, Nirdy,
she's from Jersey,
so they actually do only rub noses over there.
I heard that.
There's a lot of scoring
at the start of a relationship, I think.
There's a lot of wearing of the face.
Oh, it's, yeah.
Morning, noon and night.
Unperfect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you don't care.
You don't care who's easier.
It's like, I am going to like, honestly.
I'm going to have to bring a little pair of curtains
with me into town next time.
Yeah, just like close the curtains,
like a little Punch and Judy stage.
You know, the little Punch and Judy
little stage,
the curtains.
Well, you've been rumbled.
You've been rumbled.
I've been rumbled.
That is very funny.
Okay, do you want
another email?
Yes.
Hi, Joanna Vogue.
I had my baby girl
four months ago.
She's a dream.
Anyway,
I went to my first night
out with my girlfriends.
Obviously, the wine
went straight to my head
and before I knew it,
we had ordered a taxi
from our local pub to town. Same thing happened to me last week. We went to our
bar and all got cocktails feeling sorry for my poor husband at home with my six-week-old baby
and older children. I thought I'd cheer him up and send him a sexy picture. While in the toilet I
whipped my boobs out and using Snapchat OBS for the filters I took a picture I then sent this in
a private message to my husband. Ten minutes later my phone flashed up with a message on Snapchat
from my cousin who lives in Canada.
The message read, oh my God,
did you mean to post your boobs to your story?
That's right.
I accidentally publicly posted my tits to my story,
which had now been seen by five people.
And I had no idea how to delete my story.
After 20 minutes of being on there,
and me and my girlfriends frantically Googling
how to delete it,
I managed to get it down.
I still have no idea
who saw it.
I was too ashamed
to look at the viewers.
P.S.
The next time I went out
after this,
I pissed the bed.
I don't go out anymore.
All the best.
One of my worst nightmares
is accidentally posting
something to my Insta stories
because it's one of those things
i had a friend who did something similar and they and they and they went up to her facebook stories
then you see because it's connected and we couldn't for the life of us figure out how to get
them off her facebook stories so she ended up having to delete her facebook account oh my god
yeah it was all sexy photos of herself and and she was in this sexy chat with this guy
and she posted the whole thing up to her Facebook.
Insta and then, like I say,
connected to the Facebook stories.
And she was in a tizzy, as you would be.
Because it's just clocking up views.
There's nothing you can do about it.
I'd die.
I'd die.
Like, do you remember that time
when I posted a review from The Independent
on my WhatsApp
profile picture
like that was bad enough
how embarrassing
I actually thought
you were just being proud
I thought it was kind of cute
I didn't realise
you'd be so humiliated
by the prospect of it
you've got to be
what's it called
humble
I don't even know the word
humble
yeah she's like
what's humble mean
what's humble
humility who's, what's humble mean? What's humble?
Humility. Who's humble?
Who's humble? It sounds delicious.
I'm sorry that happened to you. But by the sounds of you, you've got great
tits, so lean into it, do you know what I mean?
Your husband's a lucky man.
A lucky, lucky man.
A pissy bed. Oh no.
That would be so annoying to piss
the bed. That's a big job to change the sheets.
It's not, it's the worst job of all the household chores. I know one girl who got up in the middle
of the night. There's always confusion when you wake up. I, honest to God, had this really weird
moment the other morning where I woke up and I didn't know if I was in Ireland or the UK.
You're kind of completely disorientated. And then the other week on a plane I had a couple of space gins
and I landed
I genuinely didn't know
if I was landing
in Ireland or the UK either
I think that's fair enough
because you're back and forth
like a yellow at the moment
yeah exactly
and I was genuinely confused
also I have a complaint
if it's about Aer Lingus
I don't want to hear it
I'm going to keep them
anonymous out of respect
because I don't think
they'd recover from this if this got to hear it I'm going to keep them anonymous out of respect because I don't think they'd recover from this
if this got out
so basically
I'm on the plane
the other day
like literally
living for the space gin
two space gins
one tube of green Pringles
as is tradition
fucking love it
get on the plane
they do that really annoying thing
where they take the cart
up the top
and they start at the very top
so I'm at the box
I'm waiting waiting waiting
like it's going to be worth it
I'm like I barely have time for the two space gins now but I've decided on top. So I'm at the box. I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm like, it's going to be worth it.
I'm like, I barely have time for the two space jeans now,
but I've decided on the two.
So I'm going to down them.
Yeah.
She comes down.
She's handing out a free bottle of water.
I said, where's the bar?
And she's like, oh, no, no, no, no.
We don't serve alcohol on this flight.
It's too short.
Excuse me.
I've been flying Dublin to London
for four years now.
It's now in 15 minutes.
I've never once been told it's too short a flight to serve booze on.
I don't know what their deal was.
You've actually reminded me.
I've been meaning to write a strongly worded letter.
Well, Joanne, did I tell you not to book with them?
Not drinking.
I'm not drinking in the Scott.
Like I was like, is there no pilot as well?
What else is going on up here?
This is not a normal flight.
Joanne, I've just thought of the airline for you.
I don't even know if they've gone out of business or not yet.
City Jet, right?
They go from London City Airport.
One time, the air hostess, who was so sound,
I had randomly decided to have a drink on the plane.
I was going to meet a guy after,
so I was like, I'll have a few, like...
Anyway, so I was having a wine, a red wine.
Like, what?
Weird.
This was obviously years ago.
I know.
And anyway, she sent me off the plane with six red wines
and a big bag of corn snacks that I used to love.
Really nice people on those airlines.
It's London City.
That's what I need.
Did I tell you about the time I was flying long haul?
I was doing it.
I was actually riding a travel piece for the Sunday Times
on this Thailand trip.
It was amazing.
So I didn't know anyone.
It was a press trip.
So I didn't know anyone. And it was long haul. So we got on so I didn't know anyone I remember that it was a press trip so I didn't know anyone
and
it was long haul
so we got on
and I couldn't sleep
I was on the plane
I couldn't sleep
so obviously
I drank literally
two bottles of red
and then of course
I blacked out completely
forgetting that there was
we had to change flights
what do you call it
like an interconnecting flight
or whatever
a connecting flight
yeah and so I didn't know there was a publicist there was a couple of other journos there there was some travel bloggers what do you call it like an interconnecting flight or whatever a connecting flight yeah
and so I didn't know
there was a publicist
there was a couple of other
journos there
there was some travel bloggers
who were all
because it was a wellness retreat
everyone was there
they were kind of
you know
they were well
I woke up
to the air steward
S
basically
I'd say she was two seconds away
from slapping me
across the face
everyone was gone off the plane
except the woman
who was running the press trip
and one of the journalists
and one of the wellness bloggers.
I had to be escorted
through security.
I was like,
I don't know why
they didn't put me in a wheelchair.
They should have put me
in a wheelchair.
I was completely,
I was like a dead body
being walked around the place.
It was so embarrassing
and I was the only one
I got to know
the PR girl better
that she was saying how she was they were pacing themselves laughing at me judging me of course
judging me judging me i i definitely judge you come on there you have it john won't be going on
a wellness retreat again i once went to ibiza for a boot camp and it was when spenny was still
drinking years ago well oh my gosh i was literally like was literally like, I'm not going to drink.
And then they left a free bottle of champagne in our room
and it just went from there.
And I have never been so unwell
and having to go to like a boot camp
with all these people.
Oh God, never again.
Did you go?
You see, that's the difference between me and you.
I just wouldn't have gone.
I know.
I don't even know how I went.
Like it was just hideous.
Yeah.
Anyway, I felt great after that. Five days. Like it was just hideous. Yeah.
Anyway, I felt great after that.
Five days later,
I was back to normal.
That's it, Joanne.
That's it from our second... What's this one called again, Jo?
The extra helping.
It's called
My Therapist Ghosted Me Vogue.
Where am I?
House.
I bloody love house.
I bloody love it.
This is the baby brain on us now.
Winston got recognised yesterday.
It was the funniest shit.
It was the funniest shit I have ever seen.
So Megan was ahead of me on the cliff walk and Winnie was ahead of Megan.
And some girl goes,
is that Winston?
And I could just hear her saying that.
I was like, how the hell does she know that's Winston?
That is so funny
He was thrilled with himself
Of course he was
Got in for a selfie
And everything
Someone appreciates him
This shit about Winston Wright
He's living the absolute life
Okay
We've gone two walks today
That little shy bike
Thanks for listening everybody
And thanks for your emails
We always like them
So please send more to
MTGMP MTGMPod.
Hello at MTGMPod.com.
There we go.
Send your emails in, please.
And please stop DMing me
asking me to ask about questions
about her clothes.
Children.
Like what?
Decor.
Children's clothes.
If she's not willing
to talk to you herself
I am not being the conduit