My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "There's an update..."
Episode Date: January 17, 2024We all love the emails that come in, but this week there's an UPDATE on an email from last week. Love to see it.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review... Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player original podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me,
Boak Williams and Joanne McNally.
Do you know what happened to me the other day?
Okay, I was back in my favourite place in the world, Hoth,
and I'd gone for a walk with my friend Megan and on the way back I tripped and fell and I haven't fallen
like that since I was really young and you know when you see old oh you're like oh god she had a
bad fall oh god I hope she's okay like the fear of falling when you get to this age because it
never happens and I really hurt myself.
And I was just like, oh, my God, does that mean I'm old now?
Like I could really, I ripped my leggings.
I have a cut on my knee.
And like, it's just that fear of just falling when you're older.
And I had that.
It came to life.
Well, Vogue, you're not even 40 years of age.
I think you're okay.
I think, right.
I thought about why I got such a fright I think
because because the gravity for me of going down is so high because yeah if you were a smaller
person going down it's a lot easier less yeah less of an impact or less time to consider what's
about to happen to you because you're just down. Whereas you, it could take you 40 minutes to hit the ground.
So you, you're kind of, your life is flashing.
That I do understand.
I was just looking up at Megan lying on the ground laughing.
Cause first of all, I was so embarrassed.
And then I was like, oh my God, I actually got such a fright there.
I don't know how to get back up.
I'm too scared to start walking again.
It's more the shame of the fall.
I find there's something very embarrassing about
chipping over yourself
In public
Certainly when you're
On your own
And people are like
Are you alright
And you're like
Yeah I'm great
I'm great
I'm great
Yeah it shows
Like you kind of
You're very vulnerable
In that moment
Plus you're walking
On cliffs
So if I were you
I'd be shitting it as well
Well this was on the road
This was on the road
But still I was just like
Oh my god
The fear of the fall
They always say
That's when you know
You're getting old
Is when you fall
And people are like
Really worried
Like really worried
About you
Yeah
They're like
Oh my god
Is she gonna get back up
Is this it
Yeah Megan was just
Pointing and laughing
So I knew I was okay
Yeah I think you're okay
I think you're
I think you have a couple
Of years left in your vogue
I think you're okay
I have taken on
Another godchild
My fourth
This is a joke
I only have one
But I'm telling you now
My tubes are now tied
That is absolutely it
That is my final
And last one
I know
My family is complete
I have two boys
And two girls
I'm like fucking Elton John
But I said
She
And she
My friend Nikki Bought me back to hers For drinks And we were like And I was playing I said She And she My friend Nikki
Bought me back to hers for drinks
And we were like
And I was playing with her daughter
And she groomed me basically
She groomed me into it
Because then as the night rolled on
She's like
Ella loves you
Oh my god
Look at the way she looks at you
And I was like
Oh she's so cute
And then she was like
Do you want her?
Would you be her godmother?
And we were like
Three bottles of wine down
So of course I was like
I'd love to
It's a blessing But who's your favourite godchild? None of them your godmother and we were like three bottles of wine down so of course i was like i'd love to it's
a blessing but who's your favorite godchild none of them none of you have at joanne if i can choose
a favorite child on a day-to-day basis you can choose a favorite godchild i'm i've i'm disinterested
in them equally that's what i would say my disinterest is equal across all children there
is no one less interesting and more interesting than the other I am so what you're saying is you don't like any of them yes that's what I'm saying okay
yes that suits me fine once Otto's not losing yeah no no no no they're all I'm glad you haven't been
in his company lately because you definitely wouldn't like him at the moment they're all
I'm waiting for them to take off I'm waiting for them to mentally take off that's what I'm waiting for them to take off. I'm waiting for them to mentally take off. That's what I'm waiting for. I'm just in the wings.
Can I say one thing, right?
I had one godmother and one godfather
because I was,
because my mom was stupid, right?
Whatever you want to say.
I thought my mom was stupid.
Lost the godfather.
He lost complete interest in me
a long time ago.
Like, I mean,
like probably when I was about seven.
Yeah, never got any presents
or anything like that.
So my mom didn't have a backup. But I'd actually prefer a godparent who didn't give a shit about me when I was about seven Yeah Never got any presents Or anything like that So my mum didn't have a backup
But I'd actually prefer
A godparent
Who didn't give a shit
About me when I was younger
And like when you
Yes
When they're like 18
Then you take them out
And like you're like
I don't have to stand
Outside the off licence
And ask somebody
To go in and get me booze
Like I just ask you
Like it'd be really nice
Exactly
I'm the godmother
You can come to
When things go wrong
Yeah
You know
I'll bail you out
I think you would
I'll buy you
Condoms
And cannabis
And I don't know
Whatever
Whatever the kids
Are into at the time
Cannabis will be legal
By that stage I reckon
No
Cannabis will be legal
Condoms will probably
Be illegal again
God knows where we're going
With all that shit
Condoms I'll be the I'll be where we're going with all that shit condoms
I'll be the
I'll be the one
who'll buy you like
what do they have
a rocket packet
what do they fly around in
the Jetsons
I'll buy you your first
rocket jacket
but the Jetsons
but they have their
what is it called
a jet pack
I'll be buying them
jet packs
that's what I'll be doing
I actually think
that's quite nice now
I'm glad I chose you.
Taking them to Mars for a weekend away.
Whatever the future holds.
Obviously, I love them all equally.
But some of them are getting more attention than others
because they're really coming into their own.
But the time will come when they're all in their own.
She prefers the older ones.
Well, at least that means,
because I know there's two younger than Otto,
so I know that there's one older. So Otto is the second favourite. One, at least that means, because I know there's two younger than Otto, so I know that Otto, there's one older.
So Otto is the second favourite.
One of them is so young,
she's really bringing nothing to the table at this point.
Oh, she doesn't even exist then yet.
She doesn't.
One of them, I brought down,
I went down, I brought her some jewellery.
So funny.
Have you ever put a gold chain on a baby?
It's very funny.
Sorry, you brought her jewellery.
Otto's going around with nothing on his neck,
just so you know.
A naked baby.
Is he not?
I have a gorgeous choker he could wear.
I'll bring it over.
He likes diamantes.
He likes really expensive ones.
It's actually a dog collar, but it's Gucci.
I think he'd like it.
He actually really likes it. There's a few bits from your collection he told me he liked.
He doesn't have his ears pierced yet.
Yeah, there's a few bits and bobs in there.
So I'll let you know which ones he liked.
He'd love a giant metallic handbag if there
was one going. Would he indeed?
Did you hear him ask for that? Did he text
you? His name's on the
waiting list for the silver. I've seen it.
Is the silver the winner? I
prefer the purple. I'm just too lazy to switch
bags. The silver is the winner, yeah.
The silver seems to be the winner. I to say I was definitely invested in anxious preoccupied
but I wasn't that invested in it but then we did a new shoot for the uh tracksuits and bags and
instead of you so I was like I don't want to be in it anymore I want this to kind of have its own
life now um and I'm it's it's it's an investment for me it's what I've just chosen to I'm investing in
this like little business and it's like a hobby and I really enjoyed and then when I did the
shooting when I wasn't in it and I was just like steaming tracksuits from the sides I was like
this is perfect now I'm really into this because I'm not the face of it now I can just be in the
background and make decisions and have fun with it so I'm way more into it now
yeah I kind of
found that with Bear
as well when we started
getting other people on
to like
to do their bits
and like
I like these
TikTokers
I can't compete
we have these amazing
and I'm like
and because I'm so yellow
like I never go pale
so trying to get a
before and after
out of me
I'm like
it doesn't really
look that different
because I'm so
I'll never be like.
I'm never white white.
Yeah but you're not.
You're not like minion yellow.
Like you're.
Like.
I remember you coming back from a holiday.
And I was like.
You've got such a good tan.
And you were like.
Oh I try to avoid the sun.
It just finds me.
It finds you.
I have to roast myself on a tray.
In the middle of the beach.
And I still can barely get a tan.
Joanne. You read me an email
Okay
So
Many mixed feelings
Email her from last week
About the guy who ghosted me
And is now with my friend
And might live with us
Oh yes
Indeed
I love that one
It's all coming back to me now
The buzz of excitement
When you read out an email On the podcast Was real I'm sorry The buzz of excitement When you read out an email
On the podcast was real
I'm sorry
The buzz of excitement
When you read out my email
On the podcast was real
Oh my god
I'm basically famous now
Indeed
You are
But there is an update
I should also say
That she and none of my other friends
Listen because they don't appreciate art
So this is a very safe space
Change your friends Change your friends your philistine
friends yeah i took your advice and i spoke to her i said i haven't found the right time and
got scared and she was fine about it she asked if i was okay with him coming to stay and i said i
was happy if she was happy all fine one big happy family except then i get a message from him
he asked me why i felt the need to tell her and it said quote oh seems like a pretty jealous mental
thing to do and that i was meddling where i'm not wanted in inverted commas that gaslighting son of
a bitch i'm going to keep this to myself because i'm now in a lose
lose if i tell her it makes him look like he's right and if i don't tell her she carries on
seeing this absolute bag of snakes and he comes to live in her house whatever i'll get over it
i would 100% tell her about that text message that is and the cheek of him to send you a message like that and then think he's coming to stay in your house.
What the hell is wrong?
That guy has red flags hanging out every orifice of his body.
He doesn't understand female friendships.
He just thinks she's trying to cockblock him.
Actually, she doesn't give a shit about him.
She's trying to make sure her and her friend are being honest with each other.
Yeah, what a fucking knob.
I know, but I think,
imagine sending a message like that
and then thinking you're going to go
and stay in her house, her home.
He definitely believes that she is jealous
of his relationship with her friend
because he obviously thinks that he is the Don
and that everyone wants to ride him
and that this girl is trying to sabotage
his relationship with this new girl.
So he's saying jealous you're so jealous
But she's not she's like I don't fucking give a shit about
You I'm just trying to clear a path
With my friend so we're being honest with each other
What a dick what I will say is
If your friend doesn't listen to the podcast fuck her
Get rid of her
Get rid of both of them
I mean she will make her own decision
At the end of the day,
but like that to me is just like,
like if someone told me that,
I'd be like to the fella,
I'd be like, are you mad texting my mate,
saying that to her?
Like when you've been invited to stay in our gaff.
I don't think, I don't think you can't,
I don't think you can not say something to her.
Well, you can not say something to her, but like there is no way
I wouldn't be able to not say something about that.
Oh yeah. seems like a jealous
mental thing to do
I hate that
when people call you mental
it's like
I'm not mental
you're fucking mental
I know
everyone has a touch of it
do you know what I mean
everyone has a touch of it
people are sensitive
and people think
they're defensive
of their position
and their relationships
and if they feel
people are trying to meddle
with those things
like in a sinister way
or trying to shaft them personally of course they're going to think they're mental and you know feel people are trying to meddle with those things like in a sinister way or trying to shaft them personally
of course they're going to think they're mental
and you know people are always throwing that shit around
but this man is a problem
because he's so up his own arse
that he assumes
that this girl in the house
is trying to cock block him
rather than just see it for what it is
which is a girl trying to be honest with her female friend
the truth is what I will say is if a friend doesn't listen to the podcast we can't help her
great loss no we can't we can't help her you know she's obviously not thinking straight she's out of
her mind so she's not going to see the red flags with this guy do you know what i mean how come
she can see our red flags and not his i i know that's viciously unfair but you know what women
are like I am like
Spenny had like a thousand red flags
There was no space on his body
With the amount of red flags
Hanging off there
And I couldn't wait
I was like a bull
Waiting to get them
Couldn't fucking wait
None of us are perfect
Now that I follow
Philosophy accounts on TikTok
I'm very
Wax on wax off about life
And like I mean
Let's not pretend
We don't have a
Couple little
Blushed coloured flags
ourselves
I would agree with you
somewhat
but I think
I think I am as close to
as you can get
you're as close to
as close to perfect
as you can get
yeah
I'd agree with that
thank you
yeah
that's called gaslighting
I just gasassed it either.
I was just listening to an old episode of the pod and you were appealing for people to send you gossip.
Oh God, that's really bad of us.
But sounds like something we would say.
And I have ADHD, but I haven't taken my meds today.
So every one or two minutes, I have a new idea.
I'm meant to be packing a gym bag right now.
And this very minute, the idea was to message you about something outrageous that I heard yesterday.
My ex-boyfriend's business partner's mate.
Okay, ex-boyfriend's business partner's mate okay ex-boyfriend's business partner's mate was having an affair and to cover it up he wrote letters to his home address to himself which said
like you're going to be needed in such and such a place for like a week he'd opened the letters at
home and i act really annoyed that he'd been called away.
And then he would go off and have an affair for like a week. And I just love the idea of someone
typing out a letter from an employer to themselves to give themselves an excuse of leaving town in
order to shag someone else in a travel lodge somewhere for those dates. I just, it will never not fascinate me.
How could you be arsed?
How could you be arsed?
Sorry, how could you be arsed writing a letter?
Like when the fuck was this?
The 1930s?
Like who opens their post and it's like,
oh, I've been called away by my boss for a week.
What's your email system has
just collapsed that's a red flag like I would think that that fella has real serious like
problems like that he would need to go and get sorted out big time like that I do it crazy I
admire his administration because that is quite something that is like imagine sitting there
typing up a letter to yourself and then like Licking your own envelope
And posting it to yourself
That in itself
Because when people cheat
They lie
Like that's part of it
It's all deceit
And like
That's kind of half the buzz
But
Yeah
Imagine her in the pub
To her mates
John's gone for a week
He got a letter
I know
And he was called away
For a week
A letter
Imagine her
Imagine her like
Setting up something nice
For when he gets home Because he's been dragged away For work again And he didn't away for a week. A letter. Imagine her like setting up something nice for when he gets home
because he's been dragged away for work again and he didn't want to go.
I know women whose husbands had been having affairs
but they got to the point where obviously they didn't want to have sex
with their like wife anymore because they were obviously getting it somewhere else.
And their wife was booking them into all sorts of kind of psychiatric courses
or booking with psychologists and stuff
because they thought they were just viciously depressed and their
husband was letting them do that, letting them do
that work
when actually they were just banging someone else, I know
listen, we're all animals with iPhones
You also have that thing
though, I read this thing that like men who
cheat, like their sex drive goes up even
more so they're happy to ride them and ride you really I'd read that somewhere I guess it's different
because sometimes if you if you're if they are if people are having an affair it's because they
they're not attracted to their partner anymore and then other people probably are still attracted
to their partner while they're having an affair and they've just upped their sex game I think I'm just Such a witch Yeah It's just
I just
I'm so in the camp
Of like
That's my baby Jo
Don't worry
Sorry
That's so funny
She's not even in the house
I don't know how the fuck
She's doing that
That kid's addicted
It's getting worse
He can't get enough of me
That child
Honestly
I just closed my door
I don't know
I kind of love it in a way just closed my door I don't know I
kind of love it in a way as well but tomorrow I have to go away filming in Spain um and uh
and like I'm gonna leave him for three nights so when I get back then like I'm in serious trouble
maybe he'll have um what dried out at that stage no you know what I mean? Maybe he'll just be like, here are you. No, it gets worse when you get back.
It gets worse.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Hit him dry days.
Oh, was he okay when I was gone?
Did he get the night sweats?
Is he all right?
Yeah, he's like panicking.
And then he's like, I'm over it.
I'm actually over her.
I've moved on.
He's reading a lot of Quitlet.
Yeah.
How to quit Vogue, Williams?
Well, that was a nice story.
Yeah, how to quit Vogue.
I might just pop him on the phone to my ex-husband
and see if he has any advice for me.
Let him tell a few tales, indeed.
Do you know the way I want to do more TV this year?
I got offered a fantastic opportunity.
Do you want to hear what it was?
Always.
To go away on holiday with an ex.
Can you?
Who would ever want to do such a thing?
Well, just say you went down on me and I'll go.
Oh my God, that'd be a great idea, actually.
Yeah, come on.
Everyone thinks it anyway
is it the Maldives
is it the Maldives
it's the Maldives
let's see if we can reconnect
absolutely
this would be fantastic
just fudge it
they're not going to know
how would they know
I'd happily go
and try and make it work
Jo what's the time difference
in the Maldives
you're going to have to check that because we're off.
Joanne and I are going to the Maldives.
We'll do some diving, Joanne.
Not that kind of diving,
you dirty bitch.
Listen, I'm up for
whatever, you know. Hello.
I'm up for anything.
That's it from us for this week That's perfect
Don't change that show
Halfway through it
I knew that we'd do two a week
But I was like
It probably isn't
It's actually not us for the week was like it probably isn't it's actually not
us for the week
this is us for today
yeah it's just
that's it for the bonus
thank you for listening
and we'll see you again soon
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