My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "We shouldn't be together."

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

So that's it... The North American shows are done! Vogue is back in the UK and Joanne has stayed on for a stint in Washington D.C and there's an interesting email to deal with.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. I am coming to you from Washington DC. I am coming from the future. I am in London today. I flew last night from Toronto. Toronto. Yeah, I know. I was furious because I was so excited to get in the flight because I was wrecked and, and they were like, Oh, good news everyone. Only six hours home. It's like, no circle, circle around Heathrow. I want to stay in the air.

It's only six hours. God that's nothing. I know. And can you imagine what I was like then when I got on the flight trying to go sleep straight away. I was like anything to just make sure I could try and get some sleep. Did you get sleep? Did you sleep? Oh, she's let me talk about sleep. Three hours 40 if you must know. And then a two hour nap when I got home. Great. I am so tired. I could literally die. Even breathing was taking it out of me this morning.

Honestly, I was like, don't breathe last Joanne, can't you, don't have the energy to breathe. It's too much. Just at least go through your nose. It's too much, honestly. And I'm staying in the most comfortable bed. What I'm trying to say is you're lucky I'm here. That's what I'm trying to say. I have another 24 hours of sleep in me. I'd say solid, back to back.

Do you reckon you could go to bed now? It's the morning time for you and sleep till tomorrow morning? No, I don't think I could sleep till tomorrow morning, but I'll give it a go. I'll ask the hotel. The hotel are very accommodating. I'll ask them for some sort of catheter so that I don't have to move to urinate. I'll be honest with you. I think the best you're going to do is a bedpan or maybe just get the bin from the bathroom. Just pop it beside the bed.

I can't be dealing with a bedpan because then I have to physically pan myself and I need to have that just taken out of my hands completely. I need a catheter or a carer. I am in Washington, it's quite an elderly state, like full of old people in the White House so maybe I could get someone, get an Irish ambassador or something to help me. I wonder if Joanne will see the White House while she's in Washington. Oh I'm telling you now. Jo, I don't know why you're shaking your head. Like that's like rage. I see things.

Okay. She's going to Google the White House and then tell us all about it. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, the White House. Did I tell you about this? I can see it very clearly on the website. Why would I travel to it in person? There's really no need.

I am Joanne. I see things. I see more than you know, Jo. I see everything. I am a seer. I'm a finder-outer. I find out everything in the end. Come here to me. I have a public service announcement. I think that that's what you would call it.

Only because I thought those clever little snakes. So you both have a car service announcement. I think that that's what you would call it. Only because I thought those clever little snakes. So you both have a car, do you? Yeah. No. Oh, well you used to have a car. Anyway, you know what I'm saying? I'm selling it. Yeah.

So you know the way you go to the car parking place and you scan the QR code to pay your parking sometimes. You do that in Ireland. Well, the robbers have now put a sticker QR code over the one that you actually are meant to pay and people are getting stung and if you just peel it back, you'll find the one underneath it. So they're literally, and I don't know, like I think it's so intelligent that maybe you should just pay them because it's such a clever scam. It's a very clever scam. It's a very clever scam, but it's not a it's not a moneymaker.

I mean, what's it? Are you mad? It's not a moneymaker. Then you've got everyone's account. You can just go in and be like, OK, I'll just take someone's limit. Some people have a limit of like 10 grand and you can make 10 grand. Oh, so you're not just paying the like three quid for the parking. No. Well, you're not paying for the parking at all. It's just going, it's got, yeah, you're going to get clamped and you're going to

get clamped and robbed the same in the same instance. Okay. I admit I didn't think it through. I didn't think it through. I was like, this seems like not a lot of jeopardy here. I'm happy to just scan the first key workout really. You can have the 340 for the hour. I just couldn't be arse peeling it. I'm just too tired to the moment to pay the three quid. Someone tried to call me about a work thing this morning and I was like, I'm really sorry,

but my brain is actually on holidays. I actually can't answer anything that's serious today. Some days just the mental bandwidth isn't there. I can't. I wouldn't be able to put anything like, well, here I am trying to put something out into the world. Thank God we've always kept our quality nice and low. So no one will notice anything about our challenge and struggle today.

Before we get into it, though, we just want to say thank you so much to everyone who came to the shows in North America. We had an absolute ball. I've had a ball over here, alone and with Vogue. I've had a ball in both holidays. We actually had so much fun the whole time. I was glad I went to New York for a couple of days because once we started to get into it, there was a lot of travel involved.

There was no time for like shopping or anything after that. No, there wasn't. And there's a lot of good thrifting to be done in America. The thrift shops are out of control over here. I found a really good one in Canada, though. Really good. Did you? Yeah. Got the kids loads of crap. Do you know what? what randomly I came across some

football jersey or I don't know, whatever it was. It could have been a baseball one I don't or it could have been ice hockey to be honest with you. But it said Matthews on the back and I was like, she can't wear that till he's 10 but I have to buy it. I have to buy it. It was very cool. I was with you when you got that. That was in New York, wasn't it? No, I got that one in Canada. There was, I got the other thing. I got another one in New York. Oh God. We love to see our name in lights or on clothes, anywhere really. Oh, you were with me when I got the Williams. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the thirst in us. We're like, there's our name. It could be on a pair of chaps. Now it did have a picture of Colonel Gaddafi on the front, but you know, I just, I had to. Had to. Had to. Doesn't matter.

Had to. What's ever's on the front is none of our business once our name's on the back. Yeah. Putin for president forever. On the front, McNally on the back. Boom. Put it in the shopping basket. Had to do it.

Yeah. Get that thing in the basket now. Fuck democracy and women's rights, Joanne McNally. Amazing, yeah, I'd love it. It is amazing though when you find your name on something it's like I just have to have it. Did I not tell you the fish fact is that I don't? I don't think so. Okay, so if you've got one fish, it's a fish. If you've got two fish, it's fish.

And if you've got two fish from different species, it's fishes. Thank you. That will be all for me today. Good luck and good luck. Wow. And you, and you said you couldn't put anything worthwhile in the world today. I'm changing lives here. I am changing lives. I'm saving people money from scammers. I'm educating. Children. Yes. Sorry. Did you know that fact about the fish?

I didn't. I didn't. Hands up, I did not. Neither did I until about a week ago. I just know that I'm trying to bring high end stuff like the White House and then you're coming in with kids' facts about fishes. Off the top of your head, tell me one thing about the White House and not what colour the building is. Tell me one thing about the White House. And we know the president lives there. It's the Dole. It's our Doil. Doil. Doil?

Doil. Just Joe was looking over there. No, no, no, it's actually not. It's where the president lives. So that would be our Sondhuigdharan. Yeah, but it's the Doil. It's where all the business happens and then the president lives there. I mean, Jesus, I mean, Joe Biden's in there

rattling around. Joe Biden's in there. I think they get a little apartment within the White House. They don't get to have the whole thing. I actually just caught sight of myself in the camera there. Like, I really look bad today. I have never needed a facial and a curly blow-dry more in my life, I can tell you.

The wheels hadn't even hit the ground and I was on to Debbie Thomas looking for that facial that ripped your face off and then you looked gorgeous, I swear to God. She's like, I only have Sunday morning at 9am, take it, I'll take it. She's like, the reception's not great, I'm in the sky. I'm still in the area. Buck it in. Dehydrating more by the minute, Debbie. Girls, this is one of those where I think I know the answer, but I just need to hear it from you two.

Yeah. I've been with my boyfriend for two years, which I get isn't a massive long relationship. That is. But I'm, yeah. Yeah, it is. That's substantial. Yeah. Two years.

If you'd said two months, I'd say, come on. But I'm completely in love with him. He's complicated, but when he's on form, he's the most loving, thoughtful person. Since we started going out, if we ever had an argument, he'd always go straight to, I just think we shouldn't be together. Now in fairness, that has a bang in me off it. I'm sorry. Okay, we're finished now.

Sorry. Will I call Emma Devoris now or like, am I waiting? Yeah. Nonstop. Yeah. Which I always thought was him being overdramatic. The problem is that it's never gone away. Anytime we have the smallest argument he calls into question our whole relationship.

Absolutely. Is this Spencer writing and pretending to be a girl? It could be. It does sound like you. Recently it's got even worse and he's actually said he doesn't think he wants to be with me anymore. But then we wake up in the next morning and I've not slept at all and we have sex or whatever and it goes back to normal. If this is the case of the long goodbye, I'm so much more invested than he is.

If this does end, I'll be totally heartbroken. What do I do? I actually don't think that that's the long goodbye. I think that he, it's just like, it's just almost his go to when you have a fight. He's like, all right, well, what's the best way to hurt you is to say the meanest thing I can say. And that's the meanest thing that you can say to anyone. Now I know I'm joking about it, but I don't actually do that all the time. And I just think to put someone in that position where they're not able to sleep and stuff like that anxiety because somebody has made you feel like shit is

a, is not nice. So you're going to have to talk to him and say that he can't just keep resorting to that. Someone said that I remember there was a guy, I'm trying to remember who. Anyway, I was going out with him, whichever one it was. It was one of the real, one of the kind of long term boyfriends. Jesus Christ, they're all a blur. He said, he was like, he said, he pulled me up on that. He's like, you can't keep trying to break up, like you can't keep breaking up every

time there's a problem. But I like, okay, here's what I would say. And I'm just thinking on my feet here. I'm not saying this is the same situation. We're very tired as well. So keep that in mind in case it's not very nice. Yeah. But I remember when I was in one of those relationships, I didn't want to be in it in that moment.

I didn't want to be in it because I was like, I can't handle it. There's a lot. There's a lot of peace to being on your own. OK, you don't have to deal with anything. You don't deal with anything. You don't have to compromise. You don't have to feel anxious or stressed or jealous or nervous or any of those things. So in those moments when I was like, I just don't want to be in this anymore, I really genuinely meant it. But I'm kind of fatal, I'm fatalistic like that. I'm like, cut, end, walk away, easier on your own. So I'd say he's just similar

in that way. But then when it goes back to normal, he's delighted it's back to normal. But he can't stop himself trying to pull the cord in those moments because he's a cord puller. Some of us are just cord pullers. I think a lot of us are cord pullers. And as well, it comes from a place of like, you know, when you're just so angry, you might actually explode and it's like it just burns out of you and you don't actually even mean it. And after you've said it. Well, now I would go around talking to myself for a little while just like I'm breaking up with him. I'm gonna break up with him for that.

And the child as well. I'm fucking dumping him. That's it. He's gone. And the babies. Get rid of the babies as well. Pull the cordon at all. Look at her. She's always trying to get rid of the kids. Always. Jesus Christ. Detonate the whole family unit. Get rid. She had a great time with me when I was away. So she's like, I want her back now. Get rid of those things. I like, I love single vogue. She's great. Single and childless vogue. That's where you

really shine. I know I do. And there's going to be more of it for sure. I don't think that your fella actually means that, but I actually think he just uses it when he gets into a rage, but you're going to have to sit down and say to him, listen, this really affects me when you say that. Like, there's nothing worse than lying awake with anxiety. And like not. So my biggest take home from that is I wouldn't want you to be losing any more sleep because I'd be worried about you for that. It is a bit of a flaw, I would say.

And I could say that as someone who has it. You want it's better to be the person who's willing to sit there and work it out. But what I would also say is there's a pattern here and you, he knows you won't let him do it, so he knows he can't throw that out and that you'll ultimately talk him back around or it'll calm down or you'll get peace or you'll ride it out or you'll, you know, whatever. He knows that'll happen. So I had another situation with someone where it was an actual situation. So any time there was an issue, I was like, I just don't want to be in this anymore

because I knew ultimately it wasn't the best situation for me to be in. But also I knew that he'd probably try and get it back going. And if he didn't, he didn't. I'd like I would let it go. But if he did, I would go back into it because I really liked him. Anyway, what I'm saying is there's a pattern of behavior here. And his pattern is he tries to pull the cord and your pattern is you stay and you talk through it and it goes back to normal. So he's allowed, he knows now he can try and pull the cord because he knows you'll keep him there. Not in a sinister way. You're the one who'll calm down and work it out. It's a pattern.

and he'll calm down and work it out. It's a pattern. Yeah, I also think when you have a big fight with somebody, making up with them is always like a really great part. So maybe he's kind of addicted to that part of it as well. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of the highs and the lows of it all, isn't it? It's like the dopamine of getting it back together and the kind of... It's like gambling. It's that moment where there's adrenaline to it.

Yeah. That's what I'm always obsessed with, gamblers. And like, is it the winning or the losing that they're addicted to? And apparently it's the not knowing if they're going to win or lose that they're addicted to. I don't know. That's what I read somewhere. And I think the best thing to do is just sit down and talk to them and explain it. Or fucking call his bluff. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, God, please.

No, no, she's tired. No, no, no. I'm, please no. No, she's tired. No, no, no. I'm a call, I'm a pull quarter. I'm a call their bluffer. I don't know. I'm a nightmare. You've got to be prepared for him to be like, okay, it's done. We're finished. Yeah. But also it's not fair to be constantly put in a situation where you're trying to win them back over. That's not fair either. Do you know what I mean? I'll tell you what I can do. I'll lend you my cousin Killian, because my cousin Killian actually had to pull me aside before

and he had to say, will you stop telling Spencer you're going to divorce him? Honestly, it's just getting ridiculous at this point. And I really took on board his advice. So why don't I get Killian to ring your fella? Also, it loses meaning. I mean, you do have situations where it is the long goodbye. And I've had that with long term relationships where it has been going for so long and like you're constantly breaking up and getting back together.

And then it's like, OK, this is just the long way of just getting out of this because it's too hard to just like leave somebody straight away because you're mad about them. But the long goodbye to me isn't breaking up with someone and coming back to them the next day. The long goodbye is a lack of interest where they're just, you're living in the house with a fucking zombie. Do you know, that's the long goodbye

where there's no emotional engagement anymore. They're just not engaged with you emotionally or they're kind of ringing it in, you know? And you can feel it and it's horrible. But I think this sounds more like a bad communication. ["Sweet Home Alone"] Spenny's been following me around like a bad smell because I've been away for six days and I'm just like, oh no.

I'm like, I'm really tired, I'm really tired. Tell him you'll book him a window in next week after your facial. That's it for this week. We will see you on Friday. Thanks for listening. ["Sweet Home Alone"] That's it for this week, we will see you on Friday. Thanks for listening.