My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Yeah, that was probably too far."
Episode Date: March 27, 2024If you can believe it, the story about Hailey Bieber throwing a tampon has caused a reaction... Apparently, according to your emails, this happens more than you might think! Plus, Vogue's just realise...d how English her children are and Joanne did a gig at The Albert Hall!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to hello@MTGMpod.comPlease review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!
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This is a Global Player Original Podcast.
Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Me With Me, Vogue Williams.
And myself, Joanne McNally.
I loved that you left that in, Jo, sorry, in the last pod.
What did you leave in?
Where I'm like, at one of the little breaks that he does
it was
I'm like
actually you do it Joanne
and you're like
okay Vogue
thank you
sometimes Vogue
lets me be involved
sometimes it's nice
to just have a look
behind the curtain
little peep
see what's going on
people like that
we won the global award
for best podcast
on em
someone messaged me
they're like
heart have just
congratulated Vogue Williams on her podcast
they didn't mention you
do you want
stop
yeah
but then
to balance it
there's a
poster
an ad for us
in the tube station
and they've covered
Vogue's face
and my face is only on display
but half the poster is missing
so it's just my face
with the word rapist
above it
many many tube stations below London City also I so it's just my face with the word rapist above it many many tube stations
below London City
also I'm actually
I want my face
on the underground please
imagine all the commercial work
I'm losing from
no your face
your face should be
on the underground
with me
because
if I have to be
on the underground
in that
you know
you know how much
I hate those photos
you know how I like to
throw the weight around
the odd time
when appropriate
uh oh
I never even thought about that
now until you said that
even though I've seen this picture
a long time ago
you are dead right
why am I
not
in the tube station
I want my own
bikini shot
down there in the tube
you should have it
okay
and you will
you will have it
I'd rather it wasn't
my face under. It literally says
rapist and it's just me.
Well, Joanne, if the
Oh my God.
It actually says
me rapist. Rapist,
me and then just my face.
I look like I'm doing a campaign.
I actually, do you know what?
Leave it as is.
I don't want my face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fine now.
You've seen it.
You've seen it.
No, it's glory.
You're actually happy with it.
That's actually perfect.
Why am I not surprised?
Well, someone had to say it at some stage.
Do you know what I mean?
I was hoping I would come out a little.
I was hoping my announcement would be a little gentler.
Maybe a soft lunch.
Oh, God.
I cannot stop looking at it now, Joanne.
I'm actually ashamed that I kind of look like you in that picture.
I don't want to be associated with that.
Can you see any of you in it?
I don't think you can.
Thank God.
Oh, God. Oh God.
That is so funny.
The artwork just doesn't suit
that kind of threesome thing
they're trying to do down there.
No, I'm going to throw a strop today.
I am.
I'm going to throw a strop.
I'm going to get us our own
little billboards down there
because of that.
I'm going to say,
what do you think this is?
I'm going to say,
I'm leaving.
Joe, don't tell them you know I'm messing. I'm going to say, what do you think this is? I'm going to say, I'm leaving. Joe, don't tell them
you know I'm missing.
I'm going to say,
I'm leaving.
You need to join forces
with Mark Chapman
from the sports agents
because it's his face
that's missing as well.
I'm going to join.
No, I don't care about him.
He can stay off
for all I care.
I'm going to get me
and I'm going to,
me and my rapist
are leaving global.
For greener pastures.
Fucking hell
It's like those things
You know when you're
You're like
That'll live on the internet forever
You shouldn't post something like that
That is gonna live around
The London Underground
For ever
I just don't understand
How no one saw
Like how the marketing team
Didn't see
That was like
That was That was what was happening Like they must have I marketing team didn't see that was like that was
that was what was happening
like they must have
I assume they didn't
just stick it up
when they got down there
I assume
it was the sort of plan
that they
approved
before they got it
to the
hanging stage
in the
tube stations
guess where I've come from today
school
yeah
now there's two sides
to this story
I know we were discussing
the Easter bonnet
now I love the Easter bonnet
right
because I sent
tea in
I sent tea in
I'd made an Easter bonnet
with tea
yeah right
tea did
fuck all
the parade
was today
I went into school
with tea's Easter bonnet
and someone goes to me
when I left the classroom
did you see the dinosaur one?
And I was like yeah
that's my kid. I made that.
Absolutely thrilled.
Gigi's on the couch violently
ill. She's been puking and her Easter
bonnet's amazing and it's going to waste so
I'm really pissed off about that. I get that she's
sick and all but like
bullshit. Oh so she's
not getting to wear her Easter bonnet.
No I'm going to wear it today. I'm going to wear it in posters.
100%.
Wear tag collab.
And then hopefully we can all move on.
Also you are aware there will be
more Easter's. You reuse the
bonnets now. I'm not making these.
Mine are masterpieces. I'm not making these
masterpieces every year.
So we're at tea school, right?
And they're all doing, they're in choir.
And it was the first time that I was like,
oh my God, my kids are so English
because they're all singing in this choir.
And then it's like,
and then the chocolate cake.
I was like, book me a flight to Dublin.
And a one way trip to Ireland.
They're so,
there's nothing I can do about it it's too far gone now
they wouldn't even be able
to turn Irish
even if I tried
like Cillian Murphy
they sound like characters
in Oliver Twist
yeah I mean
it's quite
Cillian sounds like
he's learning
how to pickpocket
on the streets of London
rather than wearing
a boating hat
in Eton
wherever he is
he'll be wearing it
once he gets to Eton
they'll knock that out of him
that sounds real street
well I'm sorry
he has to go to Eton
because they do
beagling there
and I don't think
there's anywhere else
that he could do beagling
and it's a very important skill
to learn
beagling
what on earth
is beagling
this is a true thing
that they do in Eton
Spenny tell me about it
oh and me and the boys
used to go beagling
I was like
oh my god.
Part.
Can I guess?
Yeah.
Is it something to do with the little dogs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do they race the little.
Do they race the little dogs?
I don't even.
Getting them ready for the fox hunts.
That they will inevitably take part in.
When they grow up to be the murderers.
That they will be.
Is it them.
Is it them training to be little murderers?
No. They don't eat. Eat. Theyers? No, they don't eat anything.
They just go around
with the dogs
as far as I know.
They have all these weird
competitions in Eton.
No, I know they don't eat anything
but do they just race the dogs?
Is that beagling
is where they put the little dogs?
I think they're just going
on a dog walk to be honest.
I think it's just a dog walk
with like hundreds of beagles
and they call it beagling and they wear beagling hats and stuff.
I guess because rich people don't walk their own dogs,
they have to have a name for it when they do do it.
Like it's an occasion.
Would that be it?
I don't really know.
I don't even think they have dogs.
We don't like dogs.
Jo, what is beagling?
Come on, I could be totally wrong.
Is that it?
They just go for a dog walk with loads of beagles?
I know. And I was in Eton when I was nine or ten and we just went beagling? Come on, I could be totally wrong. Is that it? They just go for a dog walk with loads of beagles? I know, and I was in Eton when I was nine or ten
and we just went beagling with the boys.
We went out and we put on our beagling hats
and off we went to beagle.
Mainly hunting of hares and rabbits by beagles
using their strong sense of smell.
A pack of beagle hounds, ten or more,
usually followed on foot.
But in a few cases, mounted.
Mounted by what?
What?
You can't mount a beagle.
No, no, no.
You follow the beagles on horseback.
No.
I was like, that is too much.
Follow your foreground man,
the little beagle.
The petters might be kicking off.
You'd think he'd be fucking squashed.
I don't think in eating that they do, that they eat the hairs. I don't know fucking squashed i don't think in ethan that they that they do that
they eat the eat the hairs i don't know god i don't know spenny you said you actually wouldn't
know you would not know they went to school right and they and he was telling me they'd they go in
and they'd have like a full english breakfast a full continental that would be their breakfast
every morning you could tell he wasn't leading a healthier lifestyle when he was in ethan and then
like so he won't eat i love chili con carne you can't eat a healthy lifestyle when he was in Eton and then like
so he won't eat
I love chili con carne
can't eat it at home
because he used to get it
so much in school
I'm like
we had like
you had a plain roll
or a buttered roll
and that was it
there was nothing else
in the rolls
not for breakfast
that was our lunch at school
you had to just bring
your own pot noodle
and stuff like
we did not get like
school dinners
is not
it doesn't exist in Ireland to my
knowledge we always just brought our own lunch school
dinners is a very British thing
yeah and so is bonneting
and beagling
bonneting beagling yeah
rowing rowing they like going boating
we foraged for our own
food around the school
grounds and then just ate it
blackberry picking
blackberry picking
and picking up
smoke butts off the ground
make our own jams
make our own jams
that's why the Irish
are great at cooking and all
yeah
that's what happened
I just still can't get out
with a visual of Spencer
trying to mount a beagle
it's going to stay with me
for the rest of my life
I did the
Teenage Cancer Trust
in the Albert Hall
it was
unreal
I knew
and it went well
it went
it went well
it was such
an amazing night
the venue is insane I've never been in it I knew it went well. It went well. It was such an amazing night.
The venue is insane.
I've never been in it.
Oh, I have. You've been in it before?
For Cirque du Soleil.
They only have all the best shit in there.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Yeah, they've the best shit in there.
It's like, it's so pretty.
Was there a reason you didn't pop Joe and I on the guest list?
Or like, what's the story with that?
I never, I always used to say, I mean, you know where I am. If you want tickets. reason you didn't pop joe and i in the guest list or like yeah i never i never i always just assume
you you know where i am if you want tickets no because you were nervous and i know when you're
nervous that you don't want us around you know i i'm in and out in and out did you not did you
not stay back boozing or anything like that no no no no it was it was quite a long night like i
stayed i had a drink after.
Yeah.
And then,
but I left at 10.
Sean Walsh was still on
when I left.
Like it was quite a long night.
There was loads of us.
Yeah.
But yeah,
it was just,
it was,
I would say,
I would say emotional.
Well,
I would assume it was
considering the calls.
Yeah.
It was quite emotional.
And then we met some of the um teenagers who've kind of used the cancer trust before and uh who sadly had to use it and
they got to ask us um questions so there was myself rob beckett kevin bridges uh sean mullis
paul chowdhury and joe leis. They were asking us about mishaps on stage.
Oh no.
The lads were talking about
at some stage needing
quite aggressive bowel movement
and having to leave the stage etc.
and everyone was laughing and everything.
And then I tell the story about getting my period on stage.
I was hoping you weren't going to say that.
I did. I panicked. I said it.
Oh God.
It kind of brought down the evening really.
It was going so well up until that point.
Everything was quite jovial.
Hello children.
Anyway, I was sorry.
I kind of brought down the tone but I had an absolute ball.
Ah, that's good.
I knew it would go well.
And did you do 10 minutes? Solid.
I did 12.
That's pretty good.
I mean, no one's going to give out you for that. Did anyone
do way more? No, I wasn't
keeping track but no, there was no
talk of it anyway.
Oh and John Bishop, sorry, John Bishop was there as well.
I was fucking asleep
in bed by the time he was on.
We missed a great night, Jo. We missed a fantastic
evening. It was now, it was.
What's the point of being friends with you if you're not
going to take us to places like this
Christ
so funny
I never even thought
to invite anyone
oh
never even thought
you know
it's just work really
at the end of the day
but it was
it was a fun work
a fun bit of work
my cousin Sophie
texted me
and she said
I'm going to see Joanne
at the Teenage Cancer Trust
are you coming
oh
yeah
I was like
no Sophie
I'm not
I haven't gotten the nod
no I wouldn't do that
I know the rules now
Joanne you've taught me well
my little Stalin
before she goes on
we're a no-go area
aren't we
yeah
I know
all the lads like
hanging out in the hallway
and I was like in the room
like door locked
doing notes
I was like
well the thing is
because I hadn't gigged
in so long
that's the only reason
yeah
well Spenny does that
it wouldn't have been so
it wouldn't have been so
all encompassing
if I was
still gigging regularly
although maybe it would be
I don't actually know
I think it's a different
like I have a different
process with you
than I have with Spen
like with Spen
he wants everybody
like you would hate it
he wants everybody backstage
so I'll just like
I try not to be rude but then I automatically seem like the rude one because I'm like I'm just going to go into this room on my own wants everybody like you would hate it he wants everybody backstage so i'll just like i'll try
not to be rude but then i automatically seem like the rude one because i'm like i'm just
going to go into this room on my own now for a while yeah it's like oh
hello please keep me anonymous because i can't afford to get sacked
Hello, please keep me anonymous because I can't afford to get sacked.
I was listening to the episode where your one got done.
She's Irish.
The girl's Irish.
I thought she was English with sacked.
And then she said, you're one Irish.
Anyway, where your one got done for assault with a tampon.
Well, as a police officer, English, one Saturday night, we got a
call out to a disturbance at a wedding. One Saturday night, we got a call out to a disturbance
at a wedding. We went and split up the fight and a couple of women were still screaming like
banshees. As I went over to them to tell them to calm down one woman
absolutely wrecked
pulled up her dress
pulled out a blood soaked
tampon
and launched it
at her man
I think this girl
messaged me
this is familiar
did this happen to you
last summer at a wedding
am I the victim in this
I wouldn't say
I would not say you would be wouldn't say I would not say
you would be the victim
No, I would say
that you would definitely
be the perpetrator
It's revealed that it's me
at the end
And she's here tonight
That's why
I have little hooks
on my tampons now
so I can pull them out
real quick
Sorry
You're lying about
the women on the plane just throwing
it at the pilots tour
they need to be designed with handles
on them so we can pull them out
properly oh revolting
and now I've been in my job for years
so not what shocks me now but you
can't imagine how taken aback I was I said
excuse me,
what the fuck?
And she laughed and said,
yeah,
that was probably too far.
Long story short,
she got charged with assault,
absolute madness
and especially at a wedding
bit much.
Anyway,
love the pod.
Oh my God,
can you imagine?
It wasn't the bride though,
was it?
It was just Guests
But imagine
Waking up
And being like
Oh
Balls
That happened
I just admire
When you've had
A couple of drinks
Remembering you have
A tampon in
My issue is
Forgetting it's there
And then trying to
Shove another one in
And then I'm like
Oh shit A four already in there And pulling them out Like it's there and then trying to shove another one in and then I'm like oh shit
a four already in there
and pulling them out
like
rabbits out of a hat
the fact that she has
the
the sense to remember
it's there
that's what impresses me
the most
that's kind of amazing
yeah if that
literally came to her
what can I do
what can I do
I know
what have I got on me here
what am I packing
oh my god
I just think the fear
the fear of that
did I ever tell you
about that time
that I fell asleep
at the Eden Rock Hotel
when Spenny's parents
invited us there
so it's this really
fancy hotel
full of like
absolutely loaded people
who go to have a nice time
I went day drinking
there
and fell asleep
at the bar
fell asleep
I was like oh
spending it to bring me home the next day
he's like you know you fell asleep sitting up
at the bar
oh god
and you probably
still cost about 20 grand
for like the three drinks
thank god you fell asleep
can you imagine if you drank
for the whole day
the price of it
I know
that's why
I'd love to go to St. Barts
and I will force an invite
at one stage
but I
I'd have to be
I'd have to fly my own booze in
I'm like take the PJ to Tesco I have to fly my own booze in I'm like
take the PJ
to Tesco
I need to do
a shop
imagine
running into
St. Barts
with a load
of Aldi bags
and then putting
it on the
minibar
you're not
gonna get me
huh
I actually
think
I think I'm
gonna I think
I'm gonna bring
a few Aldi bags
for the beach
that'll be great
can you imagine
that'll be hilarious
yeah
with your tails
and all in it
yeah
the big blue
the big blue Ikea bag
that's very
I think Balenciaga
made a copy of that
they did
and somebody else
has made a copy
of some shopping bag
and it's like
two grand
I was like
is this a joke
and people are buying it haha it's like two grand. I was like, is this a joke? And people are buying it.
Haha,
it's ironic.
So stupid.
I was,
I wanted to get
some sort of mushroom
for the bathroom,
Jo,
to kind of commemorate
the fact that I,
I spent so long
in a bathroom
with real mushrooms in it.
I thought it'd be like
just a nice thing to do.
And so I've been looking
up mushrooms,
mushroom lamps,
mushroom,
and then I was like, maybe a mushroom cushion i sent it about so look put in mushroom decor and
all this shit pops up this this cashmere cushion pops up it's disgusting i said it's a it's a
cushioned it's a mushroom it's a cushion in the shape of a mushroom if I didn't make that clear 750
pounds
I mean
seriously
I'll show it to you
Jeff hold on
sorry
8
850 pounds for that
stop yourself
it's ridiculous
stop yourself
just stop yourself
but people do
pay that
I asked somebody, right?
I was like, what's the most expensive people have ever paid for wallpaper for their room?
This isn't even to put the wallpaper up.
And it's on one room.
20 grand on wallpaper.
Just the wallpaper.
Were these your friends in Buckingham Palace?
Yeah.
I was only driving by Buckingham Palace the other day.
And I was like, if I get invited there there again now am I going to get in trouble
if I go
because I'm going
I'm going to
listen I'm telling you now
I'm going
I'll get an anxious
preoccupied bag
you hop in
and we'll go together
and no one will see you
100%
Hundy P
as they say
no
no
Joanne
cashmere cushion
what
Joanne has decided
to say that
hundi pee
is her new word
you're not having it
no
Joanne said the other day
and I really look up to him
and so I thought
if Jo can say it
maybe I can say it
I was
I'm trying it out
I'm just trying it out
I'm just seeing how it fits
Joanne and I
were going to collab
on a post
and I said sounder
and she texted
and she's like
I'm sorry I'm not
collabing on a post
if you don't take the word
sounder down
and she's coming at us with sorry, I'm not clapping on a post if you don't take the word sounder down.
And she's coming at us with hunty pee.
I know, listen,
it makes no sense.
The audacity.
I know.
I'm a walking hypocrite.
When are you leaving?
When are you leaving?
Sunday evening.
Sunday evening.
Yeah, Joanne was like would he come out
would he come out drinking this weekend i was like no no no no and she's like okay well i'm just gonna
go to your house and make you and i was like folk will we we have some drinks this weekend she's
like no and i was like okay i'll just text panzer just go direct to the horse i'll be in your house
drinking anyway whether you want to get involved or not it's completely up to you do you know that's
not fair to put me under that pressure because I won't be able to say no.
I'll just be in the basement.
There he is.
Spencer, your drinking partner.
You're on, John.
What, Spano?
Is he going beagling for the day?
Are you going beagling
for the day?
No, he's not going today.
He said...
Maybe tomorrow.
But he just said,
telly-ho.
Telly-ho.
He's going to fish some
lobos out of the town
for the boys. Absolutely. Telly. Spani and I are going to be some lobos out of the Thames for the boys.
Absolutely.
Spenny and I are going to be in the Gaiety on Thursday and Friday this week.
So if you haven't got tickets, please get tickets.
It is going to be fun.
I've got my whole family coming on Friday as well.
So I'm a bit scared of what they'll do.
But anyway, come.
Come and hang.
It's going gonna be fun