My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "You Can Be Bossy Sometimes!"
Episode Date: December 15, 2021It's time for the midweek hit! This time, Vogue & Joanne swap questions sent in by YOU and they have to answer no matter what. Plus, more of your emails! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an... email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
hello and welcome to an extra helping of my therapist ghosted me with me Bo Williams and
Joanne McNally we hope you've been enjoying the extra episodes and do remember that we need your
emails for them so do keep this is what you are when she's reading so do keep sending your emails
and we need them we want to hear all about dick moves.
Situations.
I don't know why
I can't read anymore.
And all your bits.
You go really serious
and monotone
when you're reading
or when you're talking
about yourself.
I don't like peppiness.
This is why,
do you know what?
Can I tell you?
This is why your dating app
is not working.
You go monotone.
You're not selling
yourself to me.
Sell, sell, sell.
I know. Sell. I know. But like, you'd fucking sell selling yourself to me. Sell, sell, sell. I know.
Sell.
I know.
But like,
you'd fucking sell hand grenades to kids.
I just don't.
What would be the words?
You're like,
Vogue's baby cigarettes.
Cigarettes.
Didn't.
What?
Kitty fags.
Fags for the kids.
Do you remember those fags
that you used to get
that had like the dust in them?
The chocolate ones.
The chocolate ones and the dust ones.
And if you sucked the dust ones the wrong way,
the dust would be back in your toe.
I do remember that.
I remember thinking smoking was the most elegant thing
and I would put on my mother's heels
and smoke Byros in the garden
to hear the click, click, click, click, click.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh no, the fake smokes, like they were great.
Wasn't there a thing though?
Who did that?
Something to Lauren Goodger
they were trying to sell her cyanide
or something
and she was like
as this thing
what was it
let me google it
so allegedly
Lauren Goodger
you know from Towie
she was duped
into promoting
a diet drink
made from
cyanide
cyanide
Zara Holland
so it was actually
Blind Boy
who did it
and who else did they get
Mike Hassini
yeah they were duped
into selling
so they were telling them
about it
and then they're sitting there
having a meeting
being like yeah
that sounds great
like cyanide
ah god
that's desperate
that's actually
very funny though
this week for the pod, right?
I did, I want to do a question time
because I think lots of,
by the way, by the way,
Jo and Joanne,
everybody wanted to know
what flavour of yoghurt you had.
I think they were taking the piss.
No, they weren't.
They wanted to know the yoghurt.
I think they were joking.
They weren't.
They wanted to know the bloody yoghurt.
Anyway, so Joanne and I have done a call out for questions for each other
on each other's Instagrams.
And this one, I loved this one.
Because, right, I'll tell you the story after.
How often do you wash your bed sheets?
People have this weird idea about me that I live in some sort of squalor.
Well, you're talking about the toilet mushrooms.
The toilet mushrooms, fine.
Okay, they probably gave her wrong.
I mean, at the moment,
my room is out of control.
It looks like Chernobyl.
But Joanne will go into a spotless room
with a suitcase.
And I think you have something in your suitcase
that as soon as you open it,
it explodes all over the room.
I have an exploding suitcase.
I change my bed sheets very regularly.
I would say once a week.
Once a week.
It wouldn't be more than once a week.
I'd usually change them on a Sunday
to self-soothe.
I like kind of getting my stuff
in gear on a Sunday.
Once a week is a very good way to do it.
Yeah.
I know somebody who,
well, I know another person
who never changed them,
but I know somebody,
like the sheets must have been
crawling around the room,
but another person said
they changed them every four weeks.
Yeah, no.
Four weeks?
Your whole skin is in that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's nothing worse.
Have you ever gone back
to a lad's house
and you're like,
the smell of the sheets.
Couldn't.
Smelly damn sheets.
Smelly damn sheets.
Joe, I'd say you've
a touch of that, do you?
No, I'm very clean.
Men are kind of brutal
for that stuff.
There's nothing worse.
And if you go and stay in someone's house, which I never ever do, by the way, because I don very clean. Men are kind of brutal for that stuff. There's nothing worse and if you go and stay
in someone's house,
which I never ever do,
by the way,
because I don't like it.
I don't like being offered
to stay in anyone's house.
I would like to stay
somewhere else
because I like to get up
and have breakfast
at what time I want
to have breakfast
and all those kind of things.
But anyway,
and if you get into the bed
in their house
and it smells.
I know, it's the worst.
I definitely brought a lot
back once unplanned
and I was like,
the sheets, they could have been better. Like, if I knew I was bringing someone back, I definitely brought a lot back once unplanned and I was like the sheets could
they could have been better
like if it was
if I knew I was bringing something back
I definitely would have changed
and I was kind of
I was caught out a little bit
they wouldn't have even noticed
there was like tea on them
you don't know
lads notice these things
I don't really know about that
I got home the other night
just changed my sheets
just
changed my sheets
Winston
that little bastard
all over the duvet cover
which is the worst bit to change you don't deserve him take him take him I changed my sheets. Winston, that little bastard. All over the duvet cover,
which is the worst bit to change.
You don't deserve him.
Take him.
Take him.
You won't.
You see his side up,
but you won't actually.
He doesn't want to go with you because you just ignore him.
You don't even come and take him
for a walk or anything anymore.
You don't.
Would you rather
Boris Johnson or Bertie Ahern?
Bertie.
I had a massive horn for Bertie.
Bertie Ahern's the only man.
Bertie? Bertie Ahern's the only man. Bertie?
Bertie Hearn's the only man I've ever
been starstruck by seeing.
Because he's kind of a, he's like a hot
criminal. He's like a hot crim. For anyone who doesn't
know, Bertie ran Ireland into the ground just
to give a kind of a top level.
And he loved to bribe. Yeah, he loved
to nail a brown envelope. Yeah.
He was our tea shock
back before the arse
fell out of Ireland.
But I remember seeing him
and because I guess
I'm attracted to hooligans
Bertie kind of
he was all the things
that I like.
Power,
elder man,
hooligan,
crim.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and I saw him
in a restaurant in Dublin
and I was genuinely like
Did you go over to him?
No, no, no.
That's like
I saw Mary Robinson on my flight
and I was like, oh God, I really wanted a picture
of Mary Robinson.
I thought that was a good one.
If you could only drink one drink for the rest of your life,
what would it be?
You have to say water.
Do you?
You'll die without water.
Pinot Grigio.
Pinot Grigio.
What, there's water in that, is there?
Fucking...
Like, I was actually having a huge glass of Pinot Grigio
last night
and I was like
why am I trying
to deny myself this
juice of God
gross
I had a bag of Tyrells
doing a shoot
in Ireland
and I got
I came back from
into Clapham Junction
late last night
and I stopped into
my local
and had
it's literally
my favourite thing to do
and I was like
it's
I get such a thrill
out of it
I'm back in the UK
where they give
large glasses of wine
which is the reason
why I moved here
in the first place
and I was like
can I get a large
Pinot Grigio
it takes me 20 minutes
to pour it
and a bag of Tyrells
and I sat there on my own
I cannot explain
how happy I was
listening to the Bridgerton
soundtrack on my headphones
What?
Like I'm
I'm a middle aged man
This is how you and me
are so different
like I'd be desperate
to get home
and unpack my suitcase
no
I just put a hand grenade
in the suitcase
I was like
that'll fucking
blow it back in
just blow it back in
all the clothes
are hanging off the walls
and the mirrors
you just like empty it
throw it on the ground
just kick it around
yeah
but I was just so happy
there at my Tyrell's
and my Pinot
so Pinot
I would choose Pinot
I'd
okay if we're not talking about water
what we have to survive on
I'm gonna have to say Fantasero
Fantasero definitely
yeah
or Cabri Sun
I love a Cabri Sun
but it has to be in the old packets
but I want
I'm not into plastic anymore
I'd like to say
but Cabri Sun
sort your straws out
like if you're gonna go down
the cardboard route
you're not doing
a good job of it
sorry I cannot believe
and I haven't had
a Cadbury Sun in years
and I had one recently
and I was like
how can I still not
pierce this piece of shit
I'm a grown woman now
with a provisional
driver's license
and I still can't
manage to get the straw
through the tin foil lid
without cracking the base
that's a load of shit
they've ruined it
would you date women there was a load of shit. They've ruined it.
Would you date women? There was a few of them.
Yeah, I do. I wonder, would I?
Who have you scored?
Oh, loads of people.
Did you go down
a Melanie B? Is that true? I read that somewhere.
What?
I never thought I would.
But I'd say I have one lesbian affair in me.
Like Angelina Jolie?
Yeah.
That would be nice, actually.
I'd have one, just for the experience of it.
Oh my God, I'd hate if you and Amber started going out.
Oh God.
Imagine we had a baby.
It would just look like...
Like we look like each other.
It's so bizarre.
You do look like each other. I know. Imagine we had a baby it would just look like like we look like each other. It's so bizarre. You do look like each other.
I know.
It's very weird.
How are you mentally
going to do all those shows
next year
if someone wanted to know?
I don't really know.
So what do you do?
You do the show at night
then what do you do the next day?
Do you have to just relax
the next day?
I'm going to have to
get a routine in place.
It's going to involve
a lot of like
a lot of saging
a lot of whale music
oh no my house will smell like piss
I hate to smell sage
I'll sage in the garden
I'll have my breakdown
in the garden
you should do grounding
I see people do that
they stand on the ground
outside on their bare feet
I probably will do grounding
I love gigging
the gigs won't be a problem
it's the lack of routine
it's regulating the adrenaline
is the problem
and I drink to
I drink to come down
from shows
and that's where the problem lies because I drink to come down from shows.
And that's where the problem lies.
Because then where does that end?
If you're drinking every night? Every night, yeah, you can't.
You have to find something else to do.
Then your anxiety's through the roof
and then you're hungover
and that's where the problem lies.
So I think I'm going to have to,
I mean, I'm sorry to say it,
but I think I'm going to have to engage
in some sort of wellness.
Yeah, you're going to have to.
Yeah.
You'll have a nice time.
Excuse me, you're in Hoth.
I'll be journaling.
I'm going to start journaling.
There'll be a lot of journaling done.
But also, comics do this shit
all the time.
It's part of the job.
And I'm lucky that all my Irish dates
are kind of January, February, March
and then the UK tour starts April.
So I will be back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
At least you're in one spot
and you can get them all done.
Exactly.
Okay, go ask me some.
I'm scared of these.
Thanks for sending them on.
Joanne's like,
I think we should send each other on
the messages
and I sent hers on
and I'm still waiting
for mine
I didn't look at mine
I didn't look at the ones
you sent
she's staring at the ones
I got
I didn't look
I didn't look at the ones
you sent me
so I mean
has she ever had
crystallized pill sweat
licked off her back
at the session
which felt so specific
that I was like
that sounds like
maybe that happened
I don't know
crystallized pill
set
wet
has she ever had
crystallized pill sweat
licked off her back
at the set
that sounds disgusting
no I don't let people
lick my back
I want tales
from her building site days
did they whistle at her
and so on
no the rude bastards didn't whistle at me they didn't whistle at her and so on? No, the rude bastards
didn't whistle at me.
They didn't whistle at me.
They weren't allowed.
I was the only girl on site.
Once I got locked
in a digger as a joke.
They're like,
folks, do you want to have a go
in the digger?
And I was like, yeah!
Went over to the digger
and locked me in.
That's actually better
than being sent
for like a long stand.
I remember when I was in scouts
and all that shit.
They're like, do you want me to need a glass hammer. I hated that shit.
When I started working in pubs, people did that where they like put your hands out in
the bar and they put pints in your hands. You'd be like, this isn't funny. Yeah. Help
me. Building site days were great, but I was like on the absolute tear in London. It was
when I was 20. So I was permanently dying every time I went in. I'd say I missed
a fair few Mondays
and Rebel,
who was my site engineer,
I asked him if he'd
give me a job
while laughing
at the same time
because I had no intention
of staying anyway
and he said,
no, absolutely not.
But I really liked you.
I wish we'd been close
in our 20s
and I could have gone
drinking with him.
Yeah, I did a lot of it.
Does she do much cameo?
No, I don't do any cameo.
I don't do any cameo either.
I asked them to get me off that site.
I hate it.
I don't want to be on it.
What site?
The cameo site.
You're on it.
They won't take me off.
I've never used it.
I've never done one.
I'm like, can you take me down?
And they keep mailing me.
They're like, do you want to set it up again?
I'm like, no, take me down.
I don't want to do it.
They're on to me.
I don't do the, I don't wish anyone, I don't do the I don't wish anyone
I don't do the birthday messages
or anything
and I do get asked
a good bit
and I just
and I should probably
just say it here actually
I just don't like doing them
I don't have many boundaries
but that's one
Vogue
why do you pretend
you're not rich
one of the funniest things
Vogue ever said
she cracked into the pot
and she goes
stop trying to make me
unrelatable
that's after crack
it depends what rich is
yeah exactly
it's all content
I'm not rich enough
that's for sure
do you know how I knew
I would be
I was rich
this is now
and I'm not even trying
to sound relatable here
I always thought
from when I was younger
right
you know you'd go into Zara
and like you'd get
your one winter coat
and like I was like one day I'm gonna be you'd go into Zara and like you'd get your one winter coat and I'm like, I was like,
one day I'm going to be able to come into Zara
and buy anything I want.
And I can go to Zara and buy anything I want.
Yeah.
And that's a really nice feeling
to just go in and be like,
I'll have that.
I'll have that.
Talk about playing yourself down.
I fucking love it.
Least favorite thing about you, Anne?
She's very messy.
Yeah. Yeah. What's your least favorite thing about me?? She's very messy. Yeah.
What's your least favourite thing about me?
You can be bossy sometimes.
Don't tell Spencer you said that.
Does he agree?
Me and Spencer have a WhatsApp group
where we talk about the trauma
that you've inflicted on the two of us.
You two,
I need to be bossy with you two
to get shit done.
Yeah, you can be bossy sometimes.
Whereas I don't think I'm bossy.
Joanne, you tell me yourself that you're erratic
and that I need to be the bossy one around you.
So I've just taken on that role.
Yeah.
What's your favorite Instagram account?
God, who do I look at?
Let me see my Instagram.
I only have ones that I flick through.
I'm a terrible one for muting people.
I adore muting people.
We love an outmute.
And then sometimes I get a fright when I see that they've commented on a post.
I'm like, oh Jesus, I better go and like some of their posts because it's too obvious.
The politics behind Instagram interaction is...
But I unfollowed 1,200 people there a while ago
because I was like, I don't want to follow that many people.
I actually want to get it down to a thousand people. And I want to just snip, snip. Don't want to follow that many people. I actually want to get a dance with a thousand people
and I want to just snip, snip.
Don't want to see that shit.
I always feel bad though.
I'm like,
it's a bit of a kick in the teeth.
If you know someone's
unfollowed you,
it does kind of send you
into a bit of a shame spiral.
Excuse me,
go through your Instagram, right,
and start unfollowing people
that you don't want
to follow anymore.
You will be fucking shocked
to see how many of them
don't follow you.
Yeah, probably.
I was like, what?
I'd actually been waiting to unfollow a certain person,
waiting for a reason I'll tell you after.
And I went to unfollow and I was like,
and then I saw, unfollowed me first.
Biggest regret?
My biggest regret, well, I don't need to say what that was.
Burn!
Woo!
Yikes!
Ooh, Joanne, we've had an email about a quick ick.
Hi, Vogue and Joanne. This email will probably be too short
to make the cut. Short is good.
We love short. But I wanted to share an ick
with you. It ended my last relationship
18 months ago. I was in the bathroom
brushing my teeth
and he came in for a pee
I didn't mind
and that was
completely normal behaviour
but it was the first time
I'd ever noticed
that he had his fella
between his thumb
and middle finger
is that weird
between his thumb
and middle
like that
is that how you do it Jo
is that how you do it
not me
usually you kind of
you grip it with the fist
don't you I feel yeah I feel bad but now I look back the relationship was going Is that how you do it, Jo? Is that how you do it? Not me. Usually you kind of, you grip it with the fist,
don't you?
I feel, yeah,
I feel bad.
But now I look back,
the relationship was going nowhere anyway.
This is just the deal breaker.
No, that's,
that is very strange.
Yeah, you don't do that.
Actually, I'm thinking of it.
One thing that Spencer doesn't like either,
as well as those people
that like didn't like
my hands at the job.
He's not mad for my hands
because they make
his Willy Wonk
look smaller
because they're so big.
I engulf it.
Well, I mean, there you have it.
That's all from this extra helping
of my therapist ghosted me. So definitely
do keep sending your emails to hello
at mtgmpod.com.
We'll be back with the full episode on Friday
goodbye
bye Thank you.