My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "You Can Be Bossy Sometimes!"

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

It's time for the midweek hit! This time, Vogue & Joanne swap questions sent in by YOU and they have to answer no matter what. Plus, more of your emails! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an... email to hello@MTGMpod.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello and welcome to an extra helping of my therapist ghosted me with me Bo Williams and Joanne McNally we hope you've been enjoying the extra episodes and do remember that we need your emails for them so do keep this is what you are when she's reading so do keep sending your emails and we need them we want to hear all about dick moves. Situations. I don't know why I can't read anymore. And all your bits.
Starting point is 00:00:31 You go really serious and monotone when you're reading or when you're talking about yourself. I don't like peppiness. This is why, do you know what?
Starting point is 00:00:37 Can I tell you? This is why your dating app is not working. You go monotone. You're not selling yourself to me. Sell, sell, sell. I know. Sell. I know. But like, you'd fucking sell selling yourself to me. Sell, sell, sell. I know.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Sell. I know. But like, you'd fucking sell hand grenades to kids. I just don't. What would be the words? You're like, Vogue's baby cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Cigarettes. Didn't. What? Kitty fags. Fags for the kids. Do you remember those fags that you used to get that had like the dust in them?
Starting point is 00:01:03 The chocolate ones. The chocolate ones and the dust ones. And if you sucked the dust ones the wrong way, the dust would be back in your toe. I do remember that. I remember thinking smoking was the most elegant thing and I would put on my mother's heels and smoke Byros in the garden
Starting point is 00:01:16 to hear the click, click, click, click, click. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, the fake smokes, like they were great. Wasn't there a thing though? Who did that? Something to Lauren Goodger they were trying to sell her cyanide or something
Starting point is 00:01:27 and she was like as this thing what was it let me google it so allegedly Lauren Goodger you know from Towie she was duped
Starting point is 00:01:36 into promoting a diet drink made from cyanide cyanide Zara Holland so it was actually Blind Boy
Starting point is 00:01:46 who did it and who else did they get Mike Hassini yeah they were duped into selling so they were telling them about it and then they're sitting there
Starting point is 00:01:54 having a meeting being like yeah that sounds great like cyanide ah god that's desperate that's actually very funny though
Starting point is 00:02:03 this week for the pod, right? I did, I want to do a question time because I think lots of, by the way, by the way, Jo and Joanne, everybody wanted to know what flavour of yoghurt you had. I think they were taking the piss.
Starting point is 00:02:17 No, they weren't. They wanted to know the yoghurt. I think they were joking. They weren't. They wanted to know the bloody yoghurt. Anyway, so Joanne and I have done a call out for questions for each other on each other's Instagrams. And this one, I loved this one.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Because, right, I'll tell you the story after. How often do you wash your bed sheets? People have this weird idea about me that I live in some sort of squalor. Well, you're talking about the toilet mushrooms. The toilet mushrooms, fine. Okay, they probably gave her wrong. I mean, at the moment, my room is out of control.
Starting point is 00:02:51 It looks like Chernobyl. But Joanne will go into a spotless room with a suitcase. And I think you have something in your suitcase that as soon as you open it, it explodes all over the room. I have an exploding suitcase. I change my bed sheets very regularly.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I would say once a week. Once a week. It wouldn't be more than once a week. I'd usually change them on a Sunday to self-soothe. I like kind of getting my stuff in gear on a Sunday. Once a week is a very good way to do it.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah. I know somebody who, well, I know another person who never changed them, but I know somebody, like the sheets must have been crawling around the room, but another person said
Starting point is 00:03:23 they changed them every four weeks. Yeah, no. Four weeks? Your whole skin is in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing worse. Have you ever gone back to a lad's house
Starting point is 00:03:33 and you're like, the smell of the sheets. Couldn't. Smelly damn sheets. Smelly damn sheets. Joe, I'd say you've a touch of that, do you? No, I'm very clean.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Men are kind of brutal for that stuff. There's nothing worse. And if you go and stay in someone's house, which I never ever do, by the way, because I don very clean. Men are kind of brutal for that stuff. There's nothing worse and if you go and stay in someone's house, which I never ever do, by the way, because I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I don't like being offered to stay in anyone's house. I would like to stay somewhere else because I like to get up and have breakfast at what time I want to have breakfast
Starting point is 00:03:54 and all those kind of things. But anyway, and if you get into the bed in their house and it smells. I know, it's the worst. I definitely brought a lot back once unplanned
Starting point is 00:04:03 and I was like, the sheets, they could have been better. Like, if I knew I was bringing someone back, I definitely brought a lot back once unplanned and I was like the sheets could they could have been better like if it was if I knew I was bringing something back I definitely would have changed and I was kind of I was caught out a little bit
Starting point is 00:04:11 they wouldn't have even noticed there was like tea on them you don't know lads notice these things I don't really know about that I got home the other night just changed my sheets just
Starting point is 00:04:19 changed my sheets Winston that little bastard all over the duvet cover which is the worst bit to change you don't deserve him take him take him I changed my sheets. Winston, that little bastard. All over the duvet cover, which is the worst bit to change. You don't deserve him. Take him.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Take him. You won't. You see his side up, but you won't actually. He doesn't want to go with you because you just ignore him. You don't even come and take him for a walk or anything anymore. You don't.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Would you rather Boris Johnson or Bertie Ahern? Bertie. I had a massive horn for Bertie. Bertie Ahern's the only man. Bertie? Bertie Ahern's the only man. Bertie? Bertie Hearn's the only man I've ever been starstruck by seeing.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Because he's kind of a, he's like a hot criminal. He's like a hot crim. For anyone who doesn't know, Bertie ran Ireland into the ground just to give a kind of a top level. And he loved to bribe. Yeah, he loved to nail a brown envelope. Yeah. He was our tea shock back before the arse
Starting point is 00:05:05 fell out of Ireland. But I remember seeing him and because I guess I'm attracted to hooligans Bertie kind of he was all the things that I like. Power,
Starting point is 00:05:13 elder man, hooligan, crim. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I saw him in a restaurant in Dublin and I was genuinely like Did you go over to him?
Starting point is 00:05:22 No, no, no. That's like I saw Mary Robinson on my flight and I was like, oh God, I really wanted a picture of Mary Robinson. I thought that was a good one. If you could only drink one drink for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Starting point is 00:05:34 You have to say water. Do you? You'll die without water. Pinot Grigio. Pinot Grigio. What, there's water in that, is there? Fucking... Like, I was actually having a huge glass of Pinot Grigio
Starting point is 00:05:45 last night and I was like why am I trying to deny myself this juice of God gross I had a bag of Tyrells doing a shoot
Starting point is 00:05:51 in Ireland and I got I came back from into Clapham Junction late last night and I stopped into my local and had
Starting point is 00:05:59 it's literally my favourite thing to do and I was like it's I get such a thrill out of it I'm back in the UK where they give
Starting point is 00:06:06 large glasses of wine which is the reason why I moved here in the first place and I was like can I get a large Pinot Grigio it takes me 20 minutes
Starting point is 00:06:13 to pour it and a bag of Tyrells and I sat there on my own I cannot explain how happy I was listening to the Bridgerton soundtrack on my headphones What?
Starting point is 00:06:21 Like I'm I'm a middle aged man This is how you and me are so different like I'd be desperate to get home and unpack my suitcase no
Starting point is 00:06:28 I just put a hand grenade in the suitcase I was like that'll fucking blow it back in just blow it back in all the clothes are hanging off the walls
Starting point is 00:06:36 and the mirrors you just like empty it throw it on the ground just kick it around yeah but I was just so happy there at my Tyrell's and my Pinot
Starting point is 00:06:44 so Pinot I would choose Pinot I'd okay if we're not talking about water what we have to survive on I'm gonna have to say Fantasero Fantasero definitely yeah
Starting point is 00:06:54 or Cabri Sun I love a Cabri Sun but it has to be in the old packets but I want I'm not into plastic anymore I'd like to say but Cabri Sun sort your straws out
Starting point is 00:07:03 like if you're gonna go down the cardboard route you're not doing a good job of it sorry I cannot believe and I haven't had a Cadbury Sun in years and I had one recently
Starting point is 00:07:11 and I was like how can I still not pierce this piece of shit I'm a grown woman now with a provisional driver's license and I still can't manage to get the straw
Starting point is 00:07:19 through the tin foil lid without cracking the base that's a load of shit they've ruined it would you date women there was a load of shit. They've ruined it. Would you date women? There was a few of them. Yeah, I do. I wonder, would I? Who have you scored?
Starting point is 00:07:32 Oh, loads of people. Did you go down a Melanie B? Is that true? I read that somewhere. What? I never thought I would. But I'd say I have one lesbian affair in me. Like Angelina Jolie? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:55 That would be nice, actually. I'd have one, just for the experience of it. Oh my God, I'd hate if you and Amber started going out. Oh God. Imagine we had a baby. It would just look like... Like we look like each other. It's so bizarre.
Starting point is 00:08:05 You do look like each other. I know. Imagine we had a baby it would just look like like we look like each other. It's so bizarre. You do look like each other. I know. It's very weird. How are you mentally going to do all those shows next year if someone wanted to know? I don't really know.
Starting point is 00:08:14 So what do you do? You do the show at night then what do you do the next day? Do you have to just relax the next day? I'm going to have to get a routine in place. It's going to involve
Starting point is 00:08:21 a lot of like a lot of saging a lot of whale music oh no my house will smell like piss I hate to smell sage I'll sage in the garden I'll have my breakdown in the garden
Starting point is 00:08:30 you should do grounding I see people do that they stand on the ground outside on their bare feet I probably will do grounding I love gigging the gigs won't be a problem it's the lack of routine
Starting point is 00:08:39 it's regulating the adrenaline is the problem and I drink to I drink to come down from shows and that's where the problem lies because I drink to come down from shows. And that's where the problem lies. Because then where does that end?
Starting point is 00:08:49 If you're drinking every night? Every night, yeah, you can't. You have to find something else to do. Then your anxiety's through the roof and then you're hungover and that's where the problem lies. So I think I'm going to have to, I mean, I'm sorry to say it, but I think I'm going to have to engage
Starting point is 00:08:59 in some sort of wellness. Yeah, you're going to have to. Yeah. You'll have a nice time. Excuse me, you're in Hoth. I'll be journaling. I'm going to start journaling. There'll be a lot of journaling done.
Starting point is 00:09:10 But also, comics do this shit all the time. It's part of the job. And I'm lucky that all my Irish dates are kind of January, February, March and then the UK tour starts April. So I will be back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
Starting point is 00:09:22 At least you're in one spot and you can get them all done. Exactly. Okay, go ask me some. I'm scared of these. Thanks for sending them on. Joanne's like, I think we should send each other on
Starting point is 00:09:43 the messages and I sent hers on and I'm still waiting for mine I didn't look at mine I didn't look at the ones you sent she's staring at the ones
Starting point is 00:09:48 I got I didn't look I didn't look at the ones you sent me so I mean has she ever had crystallized pill sweat licked off her back
Starting point is 00:09:56 at the session which felt so specific that I was like that sounds like maybe that happened I don't know crystallized pill set
Starting point is 00:10:11 wet has she ever had crystallized pill sweat licked off her back at the set that sounds disgusting no I don't let people lick my back
Starting point is 00:10:19 I want tales from her building site days did they whistle at her and so on no the rude bastards didn't whistle at me they didn't whistle at her and so on? No, the rude bastards didn't whistle at me. They didn't whistle at me. They weren't allowed.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I was the only girl on site. Once I got locked in a digger as a joke. They're like, folks, do you want to have a go in the digger? And I was like, yeah! Went over to the digger
Starting point is 00:10:35 and locked me in. That's actually better than being sent for like a long stand. I remember when I was in scouts and all that shit. They're like, do you want me to need a glass hammer. I hated that shit. When I started working in pubs, people did that where they like put your hands out in
Starting point is 00:10:51 the bar and they put pints in your hands. You'd be like, this isn't funny. Yeah. Help me. Building site days were great, but I was like on the absolute tear in London. It was when I was 20. So I was permanently dying every time I went in. I'd say I missed a fair few Mondays and Rebel, who was my site engineer, I asked him if he'd give me a job
Starting point is 00:11:10 while laughing at the same time because I had no intention of staying anyway and he said, no, absolutely not. But I really liked you. I wish we'd been close
Starting point is 00:11:17 in our 20s and I could have gone drinking with him. Yeah, I did a lot of it. Does she do much cameo? No, I don't do any cameo. I don't do any cameo either. I asked them to get me off that site.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I hate it. I don't want to be on it. What site? The cameo site. You're on it. They won't take me off. I've never used it. I've never done one.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I'm like, can you take me down? And they keep mailing me. They're like, do you want to set it up again? I'm like, no, take me down. I don't want to do it. They're on to me. I don't do the, I don't wish anyone, I don't do the I don't wish anyone I don't do the birthday messages
Starting point is 00:11:47 or anything and I do get asked a good bit and I just and I should probably just say it here actually I just don't like doing them I don't have many boundaries
Starting point is 00:11:53 but that's one Vogue why do you pretend you're not rich one of the funniest things Vogue ever said she cracked into the pot and she goes
Starting point is 00:12:04 stop trying to make me unrelatable that's after crack it depends what rich is yeah exactly it's all content I'm not rich enough that's for sure
Starting point is 00:12:13 do you know how I knew I would be I was rich this is now and I'm not even trying to sound relatable here I always thought from when I was younger
Starting point is 00:12:21 right you know you'd go into Zara and like you'd get your one winter coat and like I was like one day I'm gonna be you'd go into Zara and like you'd get your one winter coat and I'm like, I was like, one day I'm going to be able to come into Zara and buy anything I want. And I can go to Zara and buy anything I want.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Yeah. And that's a really nice feeling to just go in and be like, I'll have that. I'll have that. Talk about playing yourself down. I fucking love it. Least favorite thing about you, Anne?
Starting point is 00:12:43 She's very messy. Yeah. Yeah. What's your least favorite thing about me?? She's very messy. Yeah. What's your least favourite thing about me? You can be bossy sometimes. Don't tell Spencer you said that. Does he agree? Me and Spencer have a WhatsApp group where we talk about the trauma
Starting point is 00:12:57 that you've inflicted on the two of us. You two, I need to be bossy with you two to get shit done. Yeah, you can be bossy sometimes. Whereas I don't think I'm bossy. Joanne, you tell me yourself that you're erratic and that I need to be the bossy one around you.
Starting point is 00:13:12 So I've just taken on that role. Yeah. What's your favorite Instagram account? God, who do I look at? Let me see my Instagram. I only have ones that I flick through. I'm a terrible one for muting people. I adore muting people.
Starting point is 00:13:27 We love an outmute. And then sometimes I get a fright when I see that they've commented on a post. I'm like, oh Jesus, I better go and like some of their posts because it's too obvious. The politics behind Instagram interaction is... But I unfollowed 1,200 people there a while ago because I was like, I don't want to follow that many people. I actually want to get it down to a thousand people. And I want to just snip, snip. Don't want to follow that many people. I actually want to get a dance with a thousand people and I want to just snip, snip.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Don't want to see that shit. I always feel bad though. I'm like, it's a bit of a kick in the teeth. If you know someone's unfollowed you, it does kind of send you into a bit of a shame spiral.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Excuse me, go through your Instagram, right, and start unfollowing people that you don't want to follow anymore. You will be fucking shocked to see how many of them don't follow you.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Yeah, probably. I was like, what? I'd actually been waiting to unfollow a certain person, waiting for a reason I'll tell you after. And I went to unfollow and I was like, and then I saw, unfollowed me first. Biggest regret? My biggest regret, well, I don't need to say what that was.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Burn! Woo! Yikes! Ooh, Joanne, we've had an email about a quick ick. Hi, Vogue and Joanne. This email will probably be too short to make the cut. Short is good. We love short. But I wanted to share an ick with you. It ended my last relationship
Starting point is 00:14:43 18 months ago. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and he came in for a pee I didn't mind and that was completely normal behaviour but it was the first time I'd ever noticed
Starting point is 00:14:53 that he had his fella between his thumb and middle finger is that weird between his thumb and middle like that is that how you do it Jo
Starting point is 00:15:01 is that how you do it not me usually you kind of you grip it with the fist don't you I feel yeah I feel bad but now I look back the relationship was going Is that how you do it, Jo? Is that how you do it? Not me. Usually you kind of, you grip it with the fist, don't you? I feel, yeah, I feel bad.
Starting point is 00:15:09 But now I look back, the relationship was going nowhere anyway. This is just the deal breaker. No, that's, that is very strange. Yeah, you don't do that. Actually, I'm thinking of it. One thing that Spencer doesn't like either,
Starting point is 00:15:18 as well as those people that like didn't like my hands at the job. He's not mad for my hands because they make his Willy Wonk look smaller because they're so big.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I engulf it. Well, I mean, there you have it. That's all from this extra helping of my therapist ghosted me. So definitely do keep sending your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com. We'll be back with the full episode on Friday goodbye
Starting point is 00:15:45 bye Thank you.

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