My Therapist Ghosted Me - No Leaves Left, A Soft Landing & A Massive Banana

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

They're back! After the plans for an episode over Christmas went up the wall, it's time to catch up and see how the festivities played out. Did Joanne stick to the plan? Also, what are the plans for Vogue's post-baby night out? If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Folk, why are you dressed like you're coming to us live from Lapland? I'm absolutely freezing. I had to come down. I'm actually in the whiskey room, Joanne. I think you'd like it down here. I'm not a whiskey drinker No it smells It smells like peat I'm not into it I'm one of those philistines If I drink whiskey I'd smother it and dye a coke

I remember getting a wax off a girl once Who used to put Coca-Cola in red wine I think she was Polish Yeah that's got a name Polish wine no it's got a it's like it's a Spanishy thing they do

what's it called wine um what's it called Sancer Senior Seniorito no what's it called

yeah what's it called I don't know it begins S Cali a Calimito it's a Calimito oh

because it's I thought you were going to say it's some colimito oh because it's saying I thought you were going to say it's some sort of alcoholic paella and I was like that sounds disgusting red wine and coke a good night like I drank so much

over Christmas like I'm surprised I left the water in the toilet bowl to be honest like I drank everything

so now I'm I'm so full of shit I had so many plans I was like I'm just gonna go running you did you were running

obviously I went on two runs I had apps and the only thing that powered me on was self-loathing and shame and guilt

I'm just gonna behave like a normal person keep the detox going keep the fog keep quavers, sail through the festive season. I deserve it. I deserve it. I'm sick of my own bullshit yet again. I thought you were on a path to health. You'd started running. You didn't drink that much over like a certain period of time my past

health is like a boomerang like it never it just always comes back and slaps me in the face as in i'll never do it until i end up in a fucking padded walled asylum that will be the only thing that will stop me i'd say i don't think so because my dad even when he was in hospital he was hanging out the window smoking after two heart attacks oh my, I was like... Some people are just... I was actually thinking the other day and I was like, you need to be really careful with Omicron because you're a heavy smoker

and it's really bad for smokers. I know you lie about it, you little bitch, but we know you're fagging away. That baby's going to come out with a tiny head. Well, it'd be a nice change from Theodore's head.

Size of that thing. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. He had a total coner. I think we've discussed it before. But he had a total coner. A total coner. He was, like, sucked out, Jo.

And honestly, Spencer sent my mom a picture at four in the morning and she was like oh my god what's wrong with the baby and she couldn't sleep then after it until we woke up and spoke to her again at like eight in the morning because he was a full-on conehead it went back down ish i'd rather a child with a conehead than have had the shape of a labia which would also happen as that's's where it's coming out from. Oh God. They're kind of you can always tell us you can tell a C-section baby

they've got a great head. But Gigi's head was alright. Gigi's perfection personified. Oh my God isn't she? I couldn't realise all my friends were sending me their post-pregnancy photos of them in bed

holding the new baby. And I was like they look unbelievable what's going on and I was like they look perfect they're not even sweating and then my mom was like they're c-sections Joanne and I was like of course you fucking flip the lid rip it out you look perfect you're on you're up on Instagram within 20 minutes people go get a bounty blow dry. They get a bounty blow dry. Some of them get their makeup done. Head on in. Looking great. Shut up.

Swear to God. I'm sitting there with a catheter and no makeup. Looking like I've just died. Imagine getting a curly blow dry and you're basically crowning. Faster. Faster. Hurry up. We're sitting here. Oh God. faster faster hurry up he's nearly here oh god it's like the women who go to paris and get their nails done before they go it's like we know what you're doing tell me about scotland did you see

there you know the way i'm always giving out that i'm completely ignored by press and media so there's a bit there's a bit of backlash people are standing up for me now because there was an article in the Irish Indo where it was like Vogue and her family are in Africa for Christmas whatever

then someone wrote underneath excuse me what's Joanne McNally doing and I was like well I'm actually in the bath now but no one gives a shit oh my god Joanne

if I get one more mail about you and my sister being switched at birth people think i've just taken your place in my own family it's very strange it is very strange you look more alike than i look like her yeah i think you're right and i'm happy about that you know sometimes people are like you're the image of my friend someone sent me a photo of a doorknob once with the face like a face doorknob and they're like why does this look like you and I was like I don't know but it's the fucking spits of me and it was a borderline gargoyle do you know those gargoyles that you knock on old doors in like Transylvania yeah I can't say I've gotten that before Kabir how was your Christmas? We need Christmas chat

I'm still on the Christmas vibe Okay I have realised about myself And I don't know if it's an age thing Or a moral thing I've lost all interest in presents I've lost interest in giving them I've lost interest in receiving them

I just think they seem really wasteful And I don't know now If I'm just kind of depressed or maybe I'm a communist I think I'm moving into socialism like I'm gonna go to Cuba and get like a what's the hammer and sickle tattoo while I'm sucking on my Prada sunglasses but I have definitely lost interest in presents I've no interest I think it's only because people around that no one wants no people are just giving you shit gifts then that means if you're getting a good gift no it's only because people around that no one wants no people are just giving you shit gifts then that means if you're getting a good gift no it's I just think it's I I'm kind

of I'm turning away I can't say I'm turning away from capitalism and consumerism because that's absolute bullshit but the present giving thing I think it's allowed a womp. And the pressure. If I gave you my Burberry bum bag, would you hate that present as well? No, I'd really like that one. Yeah, you see, people are just buying you shit. Shit that you don't need. But I re-gift stuff all the time. I'm like, somebody, like, I got three gifts over Christmas. And I literally just took the bag thinking, this will be great for, like, thinking of the other person I was going to then give it to.

the bag thinking this will be great for so like thinking of the other person I was gonna then give it to my auntie Naomi thing no my auntie Naomi is the worst I literally like you give her a present and she gives it to somebody else immediately and like once she's actually it did a round of like three people and came back to me so one time I was like I'm gonna give her a hair dryer but I'm gonna get her name on it so I gave it to her Naomi is her name and she gave it to my fucking little cousin Naomi I was like you absolute bitch why does she hate all your presents listen I don't know and she brings up some shite to my house and I'm like that's not fair she's gotten better at gifts. She used to give me like pigs for Africa

and stuff like that when I was like 13 and I just wanted 20 euro. See, that's the kind of gift I'd be into now. Pigs in Africa. I would be into that. Like, I think that's nice. Before I just wanted money and blah, blah, blah. Now I've just kind of lost interest in it.

But I know that I, I was like, maybe I'm a minimalist, but I was, I was reading your wall and what's her name? A fucking minimalist. Marie Kondo. Yeah. I know that I, I was like, maybe I'm a minimalist, but I was, I was reading your woman. What's her name? A fucking minimalist. Marie Kondo. Yeah.

And she was like, if nothing gives you joy, you just have to get rid of it. If it touches you, sorry, if you touch something and it doesn't give you joy, get rid. And I was like,

oh my God, I'd just be living in like a warehouse with like a dog, wine, and like a load of dildos. You'd just be like, this is just me now. I have to get rid of everything else

I disagree with you you have loads of shit that bring you joy it's mostly wine dogs and dildos like I'm not even oh then I was reading

about this kind of what is it called practice called Swedish death cleaning which is basically saying when you get to middle age you should start cleaning

out all your shit because you shouldn't be leaving it up, when people die, it's not cool to leave it up to them. I think that's actually really, that's the Swedes for you.

You see, they're so, that's a nice nation of people. I know. My dad left his house full of shit. We had to get rid of everything. But, anyone who's clearing a house out

after a death, put it on Facebook, right? And people came in and were literally get them loot and they were ripping your house for your dad yeah yeah they were they were ripping light fittings off the wall i was like guys it's only shit you can move stop ripping shit off the wall they were trying to take plant pots from outside like really heavy ones but then you look at it and it's like what am i going to do with this i mean i have a pair of his old deck shoes like what do i do case them in bronze or something turn them into a nice pair of leather earrings yeah that's that's that's certainly one thing i

could do torque i love getting gifts if they're good gifts my best gift that i got for christmas this year was actually this orange hoodie that I bought for Spencer that now I've decided I'm going to take back because it looks nicer on me uh come here I want to know about your Christmas day what did I do on Christmas day ate it with my mum drank talked shit it was actually a really nice day oh my god was it lovely and quiet just the two of us so like you could hear the sea and i don't even live near the sea oh my god i'm just trying to annoy you i was like oh my god i can hear the tube in paris that's like why it was two grown women eating a bit of turkey drinking a bit of wine it's stunning i think i actually

you know i kind of don't like the overindulgence of christmas and that's why i like i know now i don't like wake up and eat dip dabs at eight in the morning it's just it makes you feel awful i got up at half six and i had a ferrero rocher and then by like honestly after i'd had my morning fry which is you have to have on christmas day i had such bad heartburn i had to take one of my prescription tablets i had to take three of them during the day and it was like i was just waiting for a tiny bit of space to fill it again and I felt so ill for like two days yeah oh listen breathing fire I remember one actually I remember it was Easter because for Easter for Lent you give up sweets right and then we collect them all in a

chain because our uncles and aunts would come up to the house and they'd give us loads and loads of sweets and then I ate them all I'll never forget how sick I was and then I ate a slice of pineapple projectile vomited everywhere and then for years convinced myself I was I was like I'm allergic to pineapple and my mum was like you don't think it was the 60 kilos of shite you ate before the pineapple it's just hard but i hate it i just won't do it to myself anymore oh here we go again oh my god what's that a new leaf you've no leaves left you want you're not turning a leaf stop your lies the tree is now bare i'm not listening to it you You bullshitter. You're so right. No one has said

they want the intro. That's absolutely fine. Put up or shut up. I will do a poll. I will do a poll. I'd just be interested to see what the results of the poll would be.

I have a confession to make. What? I spilled a load of red wine on one of your hoodies. I left a note out for Dora being like, Dora. Something really bad has happened. Which hoodie? It couldn't be that nice Which one No it was just a regular hoodie

Like a white silk Oh that was my It was your wedding dress That was my That was my favourite Ever hoodie I put on your wedding dress And I spilled an entire

Bottle of Merlot on it But you know what When I was in your basement, strolling around, living my best life, I was like, this is another example of having too much shit. You've so much shit. Like that massive banana thing.

Listen. You got a thunderland or whatever the English thunderland is for Gigi. What is the point of that massive banana? Listen, Joanne. It's huge. Spencer arrived home with Theodore, that giant banana and a huge husky teddy bear.

You try giving that shit away. No one wants it. Nobody wants it. Yeah, no one wants it. Spencer brought both of them home. And I'm like, honestly, I actually thought I might be able to give you the banana. I thought if she'd had four drinks,

she might take the banana in your eye like a traffic cone yeah i just wake up beside this giant banana i'm like oh my god did we wear protection speaking of um getting drunk and waking up beside the banana did you hear about the Irish lad in Bucharest no

it's so funny someone send me a link it's like in the Romanian times a drunk foreign tourist broke into Romania's

parliament palace on Monday the man who was an Irish national had partied in Bucharest the night before and was looking

for a toilet no so broke into their Parliament Palace apparently climbed apparently

climbed into the Parliament's inner yard and then broke a window at the ground floor to get into the building

he managed to get to the third floor he told the gendarmes who found him that he at the ground floor to get into the building he managed to get to the third floor he told the gendarmes who found him that he was looking to try and get into his hotel room or use a toilet the police took him into a hospital but couldn't immediately interrogate him

as he was completely intoxicated like fear factor 101 where is the weirdest place you've woken up when you went out in the piss oh under the desk in my old under my boss under my boss's desk in the office oh jesus james at the chris at the christmas party in pink house yeah i woke up and the worst thing was that when i woke up and everyone had thing was that when I woke up everyone had left ended up doing this competition

where we had to keep our me and this guy Gianni had to keep our hands in ice cold water for as long as possible and whoever did it won and I bit I don't remember anything

I bit him bit his arm really badly like it bruised really badly and then like an animal did you wake an animal I don't think I won anyway woke up then that was the least I was to get a free a free bottle of Desperados like it was like an animal did you wake an animal I don't think I won anyway

woke up then that was the least I was to get a free a free bottle of Desperados like it was the biting was completely unnecessary anyway

woke up in the pitch black covered in like files and bits of paper and then stood up and I was locked in and I set off

some like um motion alarm and they'd put the shutters down in the front of the place and everything. It was so humiliating. I'd only started at the job. I was only there.

I wasn't there. I wasn't even there a month. Well, they knew what to expect from then on. I once woke up, not remember the pod, but we used to go to that other place in the pod. What was it called again? Oh, the club, the nightclub, the pod. Yeah. And we used to go to that other place. Black pod. What was it called again? Oh, the club, the nightclub, the pod. Yeah. And we used to go to that other place.

The red box. Ah, something like that. Anyway, but I remember years ago, my boyfriend had sent people looking for me all around town because I just disappeared in a night out. And at like five in the morning, they were locking up and they check all the toilets. Well, who was face down on the disabled toilet floor where I had gone for a power nap

like face down I remember like just they're trying to just kick the door open because obviously I was blocking the door and just being there and waking up and being like oh my god like what happens our disabled listeners are going to kick off I can assure you I was I was once in a completely empty building that we rented for a shoot and the girl who was doing my hair and makeup she was doing it in the disabled toilet and I posted on Instagram and people were asking me how dare you and I was like we have rent there was no disabled people here and we have rented the building no excuse that's what she said. No excuse.

I was like, do you want me to go in and start bringing them in off the street? Do you want me to go out looking for disabled people so they can use the toilet? There's no disabled people in the whole fucking building. I've got no excuse. I not only went and used it, I also used it as a bedroom for like probably about three or four hours. I used to honestly set my alarm and I'd go into the toilet. It a disabled toilet I would like to say and I'd put my head in between my legs this is when I was like 18 and stuff and like I'd sleep for like 20 minutes and wake up like like go home why would I not just go home I used to be so much fun Joanne

listen I can't even talk about how sad it is what's happened to you listen I'm basically doing you a favor if I die you get a child do I really is that a thing still I don't think we'd give that just like an idea actually someone asked me about that in a radio interview once they're like what would you do and I was like well there's a strong strong transparency about will die in like a helicopter crash or something because they live a very glamorous life I don't see helicopters consider you'd have to go on a fucking lobster caviar something exotic and money associated you'll get you'll get crushed by a stallion in the whiskey room I'm shocked you haven't snagged me more about the whiskey room

honestly I was like that's the best signal I was like I can't I can't sit down there not what you want I can't nothing shocks me now do you see where you're recording from do you see where I'm recording from do you see my knickers drying on the

radiator there behind me three clothes horses in here and an Ikea lamp I was actually can I be honest I was admiring that clothes horse because I was like that looks like it's in a square it's not like a normal one like even even Joe doesn't have a clothes like men always have clothes horses lying around i remember when i went to look at a room when i first moved to london your knickers drawing on the radiator it's a fucking clothes horse why do you think i've been secretly leaving my clothes and bags around your basement so the door will clean up for me. It's gorgeous. I have a few bits for her, actually.

I have a few bits that need mending. I have a few zips that need to be done. She's bloody good at that shit. I tell you what. Do you know what, though? I have done, I did seven washes yesterday and I'm still not over it. Three today. Like, I didn't realize how much washing we had just incessant washing that's for four people oh but you did say it's an Amber trying to get in on the washing now as well the little lazy bitch it's number like throwing a few

bits in or it's that dirty bitch honestly since I got home when I was like Amber um I'm actually washing clothes for four people if you wouldn't like, stop throwing all your shit in my wash basket. And she's like, oh, it's only a few bits. I'm like, no, it's a full other adult that I'm washing for. And she changes twice a day. And it's towels, it's sheets, it's never-ending. I've actually started to despise people who don't have kids. Like, there's two tables here.

One's the kids' table, one would like there's two tables here one's the kids table one's like there's an adult table and I honestly find myself just in a trance looking at the others being like they're so lucky and Theodore's now reverted back to being like feed me mommy and I'm like why so I'm like two spoons going I don't know how you do it like when I even when I'm on the phone to you and the absolute screaming of children in the background I don't know how you do it like when I even when I'm on the phone to you and the absolute screaming of children in the background I don't know how you do it I do not know how you do it I know like even Amber Amber's here with me and she just disappears now and she used to be okay with it and like she turned into kind of a demon when we were back in house because she's like I'm like what why are you

up so early Amber she's like you know my my room's above the kitchen and that's where the kids are screaming all fucking morning and I'm like all right well i've been up since six so i don't feel bad for you go and sit at your adult table and fuck off i just think it's just so chaotic it's just it's just carnage i'm not i'm not having four i'm not it's unacceptable it's unacceptable i'm gonna jump on the environmental bandwagon and say i'm not having four for the environment I just wouldn't be able to cope with it I have heard a rumor though that uh going from one to two is is way more difficult than going from two to three yeah I mean at this stage I'd say if you bang them out they just mind themselves like you get to a point where you if they can look after themselves as in entertain themselves surely that's a good thing so

with three she she was because I'm doing this she was being taken out for a walk by spencer she spotted me and she proceeded to scream quiet because i wasn't going and then like loses her absolute mind is there anything to be said for like ignoring them um when do i ignore them i just mean they're so attached to you is there, could you not wean them off you? I think they get weaned off naturally themselves. Like today I had to keep Theodore in a room because he had such an epic meltdown. And I just stood there watching him. And I thought to myself, will I film him and show him this?

Or does that not work on little kids? Just show him what he looks like. I tried to get him to look in the mirror. I was like, cause we were in the bathroom. I was like, look at yourself. Look at what you're doing. Does that not just, I think that just makes them worse. Amber goes to him.

Because they hate being given out to. I know. Amber goes to him on Stephen's day. She was like, what was your favorite gift from Santa? And he goes, nothing. And walked off. I'm like. Okay.

That's what I mean they don't remember give him a brick on a string like we had he doesn't deserve it they won't remember anything

it's all wasted on them a brick on a string and then just superimpose toys into photos so he's going to prove to him

that he's an adult yeah perfect you were happy as a child we were happy playing tip the can and curbs. Like, what else did we need? Nothing.

Who am I? Yeah, no, no, no, yeah, oh my god, no. Right. I'm on a diet. I'm on a diet I don't want you to plan me a baby shower by the way just in case you were thinking of doing that as one of my good friends I want you to plan my first night out oh no shit I better cancel the baby shower

uh oh that giant pinata full of condoms and soothers haul it off I'll actually need them I wouldn't be interested in baby showers yeah that's why I put you

on the big night out oh brilliant oh I'll definitely plan that yeah I'm thinking like the end of May not to put ideas in your head but maybe Soho Farmhouse for two nights

oh I was thinking way way lowbrow shit than that I was thinking way way low brow shit than that I was thinking would it be fun to do something go to like Magic Mike or something

oh god yeah I'd love that actually we'll go to Magic or a drag brunch and drink all day when is this if I don't fall asleep in a toilet

you haven't done your job right okay I'm like and here's the table for the night and Vogue, that's your bedroom

over there. That's where you'll be taking your power nap at 4pm. I want to tell you a story someone wrote to me. It's very funny. So a girl,

this group of girls messaged me on Insta. What are their names? Lauren. Yeah. I can only see Lauren. It said, they were like like do you want to hear a funny story about a funeral and i was like yeah tell me immediately so she hugh is her name the day of our grandfather's funeral shortly after our grandmother's death was a very sad occasion

auntie tess being nosy wanted to know who the big wreaths were from The biggest wreath was at the edge of the grave Down she bent and in she fell A six foot drop The coffin lid barely survived the impact Puzzle Tom the undertaker was most relieved There she lay on top of her dead sister

and newly dead brother-in-law, Peg and Danny. She refused all assistance to get out, saying, leave me here a while, I'll have a little rest. Eventually, cousins Dan and Jim, 16 stone apiece, hopped down to her rescue.

As she ascended from the grave to a rounding of laws, the priest reclaimed, Lazarus is ridden from the dead like i find funerals very funny i don't know is it a nerve thing i think it's a nerve thing i'd be dead it's so tense i find a funeral enjoyable i know it's i think it's an irish thing a funeral is enjoyable i find it it like I don't understand the Brits leave the bodies hanging around for like three weeks

they I'd say they're in bits are we not is it not is it not is it not them that bury them real quick and we leave them

waiting around no you're dead and buried in three days in Ireland that's it done move on that's how we work that's just a

that's a big nap for me I'd want to make sure I'd be held in a mirror over someone's face if I was going to bury them within three days so it feels very abrupt that's a real fear for me now honestly I don't I really and after that man in India like waking up in a morgue I'd pass away from the shock of it here speaking about Instagram messages I find like over Christmas obviously COVID was an absolute load of shite let's be honest and I feel like loads of people were isolated loads of people didn't have a proper Christmas so everybody was

pissed off but like yeah I was getting some abusive messages that I was like what the like how am I one woman right why cannot Rita Ora aura enter oz but i cannot enter to see my family another christmas day on my own double standards with you celebs cherry picking sorry she went at me first of all before rita aura got it in the neck she was giving out about novak djokovic and i didn't write back because i was like okay novak djokovic had to go over for a tennis tournament and she's pissed off about that and then I said what are you on about you need to concentrate on yourself and stop worrying about what Rita Ora and Novak are up to and she goes on about I'm sure you will be on about not seeing your family at Christmas well I cannot see my family again this Christmas day because unless I'm Rita Ora

who can get her lawyers to grant an exemption to australia and get my family have been vaccinated and i can't enter because i'm not a celebrity and i was just like oh my god she was shouting at me and everything like a full caps locks so i got a bollocking over rita aura and like i meant to go to the maldives i'm just putting it out there on the pod right I'm just gonna I'm just gonna do a soft landing with it right I meant to go to the Maldives mid-jan please don't be mean to me about it but like you could go to the Maldives I know but people just don't want to see you in the Maldives I know they don't want to see in the Maldives no I know we'll look look I'm glad you said it now so that people aren't going to turn on you

and start trolling with you when you rock out in your bikini in the Maldives. You've said it now. She's going to the Maldives. Leave it. Leave it alone.

It's a holiday of a lifetime. I'm desperate to go and if I could bring every single last one of you with me, I would, but I can't. We've said it before.

Please don't be annoyed with me you present yourself as someone with morals I do not that's why no one says anything to me I get nothing but you know what I probably do get stuck but I don't really notice it and also Vogue I will say I get people DMing me to ask you questions because they're like Vogue won't write back to me so instead of writing back to the arseholes you should be writing back to the people who are being nice to you i never i i write back to loads of people that are nice to me um but i can't write back to everybody it's impossible to write back to everybody no i know i know it's not like i put up a picture the other day and i got asked where's your hat from where's your coat from where's your what shade of lipstick are you wearing

what foundation you're wearing where's spenny's coat from where's Theodore's hat from, I can't answer all the questions that's why I tag loads of shit in all my pictures because I'm like right, I've got everything in there but then it's like, where's your lipstick from? If I'm looking at someone's if someone kind of talks about fashion and clothes on their Instagram account

and then they don't tag something in certain photos, I'm like throwing the table up I'm like what the fuck? know i know where is it from that is how i do my shopping sometimes i'm one of those people i always know people i'm like where's that from like because if he wants that shit amber and i had a discussion about you the other day because you posted a picture and we were like, how the fuck does she know what Udricay is? And we were like, I don't understand. Hold on, Jo.

We need to fill it. Udricay is a clothes label. But, Vogue, do you know how I know who Udricay are? For me? Yeah, because you told me who they were three days ago and then I went online and I loved them and I bought a load of shit. That's the Udacay top that I told you how did it get there so fast I don't know oh my god it's a Christmas miracle here you look like kind of like a chic

Beetlejuice in that shirt it's stunning it's a nice color isn't it yeah I bought some other bits off them for Clear History actually this is perfect because I need to talk about Clear History. Clear History is a panel show that I am recording in January I did it last year it's with me Kevin McGarren and Jason Byrne but it's all about like embarrassing stories and stuff and we need embarrassing stories from you guys it's kind of like we clear your embarrassing stories or we don't or we make you keep them so the email address is clear history at kite entertainment.com and if i don't if i hadn't plugged out the production company we're literally going to glass me so there you go job done thank you she did her monotone voice a little bit there anytime she's asking for anything

she's like okay i'm gonna need you to do this I have tickets on sale soon so if you wouldn't do you know when I was thinking about the COVID and the Christmas of it all because it did feel like people were dropping like flies

it felt like COVID was on a like a challenge on a commission to infect they bloody were dropping like flies I was like

why don't the people who have COVID why don't they just go to like a COVID Christmas colony I was like why not't the people who have COVID why don't they just go to like a COVID Christmas colony I was like why not rent out Trebalgan now Jo you don't know what Trebalgan is it's basically Butlands in Ireland right it's got a wave machine

which is perfect I don't know if Trebalgan's still a thing I thought it closed down it'll be a drug free event because everyone's sick of shoving shit up their nose and then when the wave machine starts first the first wave

the delta people jump in and then like the fifth wave the omnicron people jump in and we can all just have an orgy

and play miniature golf there was no one to order this I want to go there and we could all just have an orgy and play miniature golf. How is no one taught of it? I want to go there. Do you know how unbearable it is for me to be wrong? What did Spencer call me? He calls me a musmus or something, a masmus or something.

Someone who's basically never wrong. When shit goes missing out of your eyes, phone me on the phone to me within three minutes where are my sparkly leggings where's my dog I feel like I don't have really guilt about buying clothes as I sit here on Utercase still because of you but what I will say is the reason I don't think I have guilt is because I give so much of my clothes away so they get reprocessed basically and other people get lots of fun and wear anything which makes me happy. And also makes me happy because I can buy more clothes.

Fair? I totally agree with you. I tried to sell some shit on Depop, but I was so bad at it. Like they looked, every photo looked pathetic like pathetic do you want on a wire hanger like hanging on the bathroom shower this is disgusting you you realize you would have to like package it and post it off that's not a that's not a place for you it's not no I did send

a few things off and it like that I think I came out I made seven quid off the whole thing and I was like fuck that I'm not I'm just not doing it anymore like I'm just not doing it I prefer when you come to my house and sometimes you leave and there's just a pile of clothes and I'm like are these for me I do I do drop bits down to you and actually a girl messaged me about the jumpsuit that I wore for my first Vicar Street the pink one and I was like you can have it oh because I was putting it on Depop I'm sorry I put the pink jumpsuit

on Depop and she messaged going is that the jumpsuit you wore for your first Vicar Street like why are you selling it I'll buy one for you and I said do you know what you can have it and I posted it down to her all ironed obviously but I kind of wish that you'd kept that because that's like something like like that was your first vicar street you should have got

that framed with like a picture I'm not that sentimental about shit like that I'd actually be interested to get your opinion on this do you know David Foster he was married to the Hadid Yolanda he was married to her Hadid Yolanda.

He was married to her. And he's with that young one now. Yeah. And he posted, he's 73, she's 37. Classic, whatever, grand, standard. And she had a baby 10 weeks ago and she is ripped to fuck again. I saw, I saw. He posted, did you? And he wrote, what baby?

He posted a photo of her in a bikini and wrote underneath what baby and it really annoyed me because I was like whatever about her she's doing the work putting it in and it's always very controversial when women snap back and I know that you've had shit for that as well before but you work your ass off you work out all the time and that's fair enough but him taking credit for it I just was like like, you're making women feel like shit. Yeah. And I just think men getting involved in something like that is a bit gross. And I also felt like the picture was a bit like,

there's too much Fanny on show there for me. And as a current pregnant lady who actually had to throw out a pair of leggings the other day because I was so camel toe-y in them, I don't appreciate that fanny of hers. Okay? I didn't even notice that. Oh my God, her whole fanny was out. I was too annoyed with him.

I'm annoyed with him in general. There's something annoying about his face. He's one of those faces. He's an asshole. Yeah. Fuck off, David Foster. You didn't put any of the work in. It's like when, did you ever't put any of the work in it's like when did you ever watch

Housewives of Beverly Hills and when you're one who was married to Frasier Crane and someone said to her he's such an amazing actor and she was like thank you

like she trained on herself it was so bizarre anyway David Foster pissed me off this week yeah David Foster was pretty annoying I saw that thing about the woman breastfeeding her cat on a flight.

Like, I just... But like... No, there's no but like. Okay. What's weirder? A woman breastfeeding a young cat or a woman breastfeeding a 25-year-old man? God, I think I'm going to, I'm going to have to say the cat's weirder.

Cause have you seen cat's teeth? Like I don't want those teeth on my tit. And they're very, don't cats have little scissors on their tongues? Yes. And yes, they do. I would breastfeed Spencer before I would breastfeed Winston. There you go. Okay. I solved the riddle. Yeah, now that makes sense.

Would you be all that shocked if you walked in and I was breastfeeding Spencer on the couch? Would you be really shocked? I think it would be less traumatic than when your brother walked in and

no oh my god why does she keep making me relive it i can't that he's here don't bring it up i have to go and look at him i'm gonna just go oh sorry it was one of the worst things i've ever had contact for me it was the eye contact for me that was i get that you know that feeling that you get i don't even make eye contact with the person i'm having sex with let alone my brother in the background what a nightmare i would just like to point out probably less awkward i was not the one that made the eye contact right i? I wasn't facing that direction. Thank Christ the Lord. Because if I had been facing that direction,

it would have been a lot worse than it was. And it's honestly, makes me feel like I'm going to get taken apart again. That's it for this week. And remember, if you'd like to send us an email, you're more than welcome to. Just send it to hello at mtgmpod.com. Thank you.