My Therapist Ghosted Me - Pungent Teeth, Shark Encounters & "Hangxiety"

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

The episode is RIGHT ON TIME this week... It's just a shame that it's also way past Vogue's bedtime (about 7ish). Get the lowdown on Joanne's latest hangover and why Vogue spent her childhood swimming in swamps. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Boag Williams and Joanne McNally. It's the podcast that works on the basis of clarity, parity, sharing, daring, joviality, personality, topicality and uncompromisable morality. In today's episode, we have anxiety, gigging to kids and Vogue's swamp. Sorry, I have to. It was so funny coming in and the two security guards downstairs and Vogue's like, how come you got stuck with the night shift? And they're like, it's literally five o'clock in the evening. They finish work at six, Vogue.

It's not the night shift at five o'clock. God, you got the night shift. Oh God. They made me come in and do the pod at five o'clock at night. I'm like, oh my God, it's dinner time. I had to have my dinner half four.

I won't be in bed until about eight now. I'll be wrecked. I have to get a train to fucking Leeds. I love being on the train. There's nothing better than being on the train. I'm raging you're going to Leeds without me. I know, it's unfortunate. Are you just admiring me?

Sorry. No, because I'm just thinking about us getting the train together. I'm actually thinking because they go... Are you not admiring my new teeth? I did notice it was darker in here. You got them done! Oh my God, my whole mouth feels different. Well, I'll tell you what.

George the dentist pulled the other ones off. And the smell. I was like, I was actually apologising to George. I was like, oh my God, dude, I'm really sorry. Like, do you smell that? I was like, there's no way he couldn't smell it. I know it's right below my nose but how disgusting my yellow smelly teeth

and then he asked me if I wanted to take them as a souvenir I thought no thanks stink out my car why didn't you take them? I couldn't they smelled

they really were pungent pungent I had something removed before what was it? a molar probably oh yeah well they'll have it the tooth

or do you have to rip out with a spanner. But no, I had something else taken out of me. What was it? Tonsils, appendix. I have all those things.

Brain. I have all those things. Although I was, I'm actually writing an article at the moment for the Sunday Business Post, which makes it look like I've gone into economics.

Oh, my God. Excuse me? Everyone wants to know what I think of my cryptocurrency. No. The supplement. I'm writing a piece of the supplement about my toxic relationship

with my GPS Google map that gaslighting bitch who takes days telling me I've arrived when I haven't fucking arrived you've arrived no I haven't arrived

also the audacity that she thinks I know where west is like anyway sorry when you leave as well have you ever gone the right way first i always walk one way then i'm like fuck other way and i have to turn around and go back

have you ever walked the right way first no because it's completely confusing and gaslighting but the thing i was saying i don't have is the hippocampus which is the part of your brain that kind of stores directions and stuff oh no do i i'm missing that i think i had that removed on my hippocampus removed oh god honestly sometimes honestly, sometimes I forget the way downstairs. I couldn't find my knicker drawer without a Google Maps name. I use it for everything. Anyway, sorry, I digress.

I had something removed and they offered it to me in a jar. I can't remember what it was. A cyst or something. They're my absolute favourite. Popping spots and cysts. My wisdom teeth. I said your molars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldars Sorry Yeah Yeah I would have taken them I would have taken them Why didn't you? You're probably out of it Why didn't I take them? You know that's one of my biggest fears To get them removed I'd die

I'd have to be put to sleep I was put to sleep I was completely knocked out They lean on your Like what your They put their knee on your shoulder To rip it out Do they?

Do you see Audrey And my dance partner Scrapping my page? What were they scrapping about? Well Audrey was bitching about George and then you got the Meldsworth clinic involved I tagged her business name

she actually rang me she's like Joanna and I was like I actually like Audrey's truthful honesty yeah she can be a bit abrupt at times

she knows that we've had some she wasn't times she knows that we've had some she wasn't abrupt to my face we've had some fallouts what was it oh you know that photo shoot that we did I'm not going to name it

but the one that I absolutely hated she kept sending me zoom in zoom ins and I was really upset about the photos and I was like Audrey the joke's over now

like it's not funny oh my god I love her and she's like god I thought you this is what people say to me thought you were a comic I'm like yeah but I also have feelings

like I'm not dead inside I have feelings of shame and hurt and pain and embarrassment like everyone else I'm not fucking Jimmy Savile I don't know why

you hated that picture someone you even texted me and you were like please please I would never ask you please take it down it was horrible

it was just awful take it off the main page it was just awful there's some real stinkers of me floating around I can tell you that's that paparazzi guy outside

he's threatening me now he's like I'm gonna get you one day and I said if you fucking come near me with that thing we're walking up there's always a pap outside

and Joanne's dragging her wheelie suitcase behind her I'm like hi get her I'm like the very opposite side no because it's like it's not my world

sorry I have to preface this entire episode by saying I am so hungover that like, see what's happening, there's nothing coming out. Basically, I was down in, I don't even know where I was.

You always look great, by the way, when you're hungover because you've got like a film of sweat. It looks like you've been using that iconic spray. They're like,

you're so dewy. I'm like, yeah, that's because I drank three bottles of Pinot Grigio in about an hour. I was on my way back from Cardiff on the train. And because I always have a glass of white and a bag of crisps on the train. And then John Belton says, I'm not going to get a nap by drinking white wine and eating quavers on the train. So your woman comes along. Those different crisps. What were the crisps?

I like those posts, by the way. Pringles, anything. Anything goes. Anything goes. So anyway, the trolley lady came along and she's like, what do you have? And I said, I'm going to have a coffee. And then she said to me,

I know you. You do that podcast. And I said, I do. And she goes, me and my daughter listen to it. And I said, that's nice. And straight away she goes, I have a deal on the white wine. And I went,

she goes, there's a deal on the white wine, you know. And I went, what's the deal? And she goes, two for 10, three for 12. And she starts racking up three mini bottles of wine you know and I went what's the deal and she goes two for ten three for twelve and she starts racking up three mini bottles of wine and I was like no no no no is that I'm not taking

three wines three for twelve though three for twelve she goes no no no take it take it save it save it save it for later the prices in London

are ridiculous save it for later and I was like well you obviously don't listen to the pod if you think I'm going to save it for later and then she threw

in a free bag of mini cheddars so by the time I landed I was pissed. And I was like, well, what am I going to do now? Called one of the girls and we went bananas

down in Clapham Junction. Bananas. Like how wild. You're a lying bitch, by the way. You told me last night you were asleep at nine o'clock.

Oh my God. Oh no, I was. My train arrived in at two o'clock. Oh no. I started, yeah, I'd had three mini wines by 2 p.m. and a bag of mini cheddars. Oh my God. Oh no, it was. My train arrived in at two o'clock. Oh no. Yeah, I'd had three mini wines by 2pm and a bag of mini cheddars. Yeah, but it was three for 12.

I can't miss out on a deal. Two for 10, three for 12. Straight away, there's a deal on the wine. I don't even like alcohol. And I like, my auntie sends me the deals and sayings for you. And I'm like, I f***ed up. I honestly buy like 15 bottles of Prosecco.

They've great Prosecco. I don't even like booze. I know. Always have to have a lot of it though. You're such a freak. Well, you're always***ed up. I honestly buy like 15 bottles of Prosecco. They're great Prosecco. I don't even like booze. I know. I always have to have a lot of it there. You're such a freak. Well, you're always around, so. I know. You know?

I know, you need to keep it in storage. That's what she has on the Pelly. Beside the Pelly, it's just a bottle of booze. A bottle of Moet. And so where'd you go? So you went out at two. That sounds like a nice, fun day. See, your life, better than mine.

Yeah, I mean, then today, of course, I'm riddled with fear and anxiety. And I'm Googling. Obviously, I'm in my room listening to whale music, saging, doing everything I can. Obviously, poptisanics, like trying to take myself down off at the edge. So I start Googling the fear. And because I think there's some medical reason for it.

Basically, because your liver has to work so hard to process the, like my liver has been up working. It's been putting in like a 14 hour shift trying to process this alcohol. Like I was still, I felt drunk this morning when I woke up. I kind of love when that happens. Anyway, so I hate myself.

I've no thoughts. I can't finish sentences. My head is just like full of mashed potato. If we'd had to do this earlier, I would have just been like a hologram just sitting here with saying nothing. So think you're gonna have to drive this one vogie okay this reminds me i want to talk about pride of britain oh i can't wait to go to pride of britain it's so sad i did think i did wonder about the pride of britain though i was

like is that kind of like walking around ireland wearing a poppy how much abuse are we gonna get for that i don't think we'll get any i did about that. I didn't get any the last time I went. Is that going to be like a red carpet thing? Yeah. So I'll just meet you in there. No, would you get lost? I'm not a red carpet woman. Okay, you don't have to do pictures,

but you have to just walk with me. That's the way in. The red carpet is the way in. How did the catering staff get in? Actually, it's quite nice food as well. I'll go in the back. I just, I'm not, it's too, like as well I'll go in the back I just I'm not it's too

like no you're allowed you're practically you're one away from the royal family let's be honest if you're Irish you're Irish

you don't want to be English I'm not English you get in trouble there's nothing English about me but you get in trouble for everything like you're gonna get in trouble for everything everything

everything I don't even do that much wrong I did all the wrong stuff before Instagram. I am so glad. Like, think about me in Grogan's. Remember? Like when I, like we, up on, just disgusting.

Oh, well, what are you gonna do? I'm just glad I didn't do, I didn't do anything like the level of drinking, going home with soap dispensers in my bag when I was, like, now. I know, yeah. You're very reserved when you drink, though. You never, like... Like, I fall asleep in the couch and stuff. That's not great.

No, I don't really do anything. Like, I don't really change that much, really, at all. Oh, I do. I can get a bit sassy sometimes. Oh, my God. You talk absolutely shite as well sometimes. Yeah, and I can, like...

Sometimes I hit people. I've never known you to hit yeah like who? like I remember Andrea said she was like you can get kind of aggro

but like I hit them out of tenderness you haven't hit me oh and sometimes I'll go on Twitter oh yeah that's the aggressive side yeah I'll tweet

aggressively and then delete it I go through phases where I go buck wild yeah and my wheels come off

and then I put my wheels back on and then my wheels come off and then I put my wheels back on which I think that's why I've got a horn for mechanics

because I need to be with the man who knows how to put wheels on and off I think that's why I have such a horn for mechanics we did walk by one of the

well it wasn't a mechanic necessarily it was just a guy like looking into his what's that called bonnet yeah John I told you

it's half five I should be winding down you have the best life do you think I've got a good life I think you have a great life I think you're always out you're always doing stuff you're always out, you're always doing stuff, you're always for dinner,

you're always fucking walking in sweating what I have for... I've also been dealing with a lot of very upset women in my DMs who didn't realise their boyfriend actually hates them for seven minutes after they climaxed. So there's been a lot going on in the DMs.

And the mechanic got in touch to say I was right did he? he was like hate's a bit strong but yeah you definitely want to be like on your own in a room

and I was like yeah a shed that's what I said you're right in the shed fixing a radio but anyway I'm doing a lot of these freshers gigs

so I've been travelling around doing that I was in Bristol Buckinghamshire Leeds Cardiff you've already been to Leeds sorry no I'm going to Leeds tomorrow

they're born three weeks ago 1993 probably 1997 no 2003 they're born right 97 was 30 years ago

was 97 30 years ago 91 is 30 years ago 93 is 30 years ago listen Joe do I look like a calculator to you I'm very good at multiplication that's all you need to know right so you're going

to do all these freshers bits so you walk in and they're so young and I stupidly think I'm young that's why

yesterday I drank like I got my leaving cert results like I was just went bananas

right because I think I've got like I've got a young vibe right I was like

I'm not even young enough for these guys and I was like what do I talk to these guys anyone got fertility issues

like what am I going to talk about anyone here frozen their eggs anyone here frozen their eggs anyway so I've decided

I adopt the role I was like think of me as your drunk aunt at a party just ask me for tips I'll advise you so that's kind of

how it's working that's how you did in your stage show that's my angle that's my angle that I'm just like okay these are all the mistakes I made.

Don't make these mistakes. I don't remember having comedians at Freshers. I remember in Aberdeen, it was a pound of vodka mix. You'd be going around in bits. Yeah. Snake bite. Wasn't that a thing?

We weren't allowed to have those alcohol promotions because obviously... Oh, yeah, you didn't. Well, we could in Scotland. I had a shit time in college. I had a shit... Great time. I didn't do anything.

I never went in. Never went in. I was in nine to five I didn't do anything I never went in never went in I was in 9 to 5 every day Amber was in 2 hours a week I couldn't believe my luck and then we used to go oh it was deadly I had a great time in college

so that's your week having the time of your life again do you want to hear my week? yeah I've been back to vacuum packing I'm so dull I've been spending hours down at my wardrobe

like get the summer shit out it gives me anxiety I have to get rid of it I've also become a fan of flowers again the amount of mails I got because I posted flowers on my page yesterday

and everyone's like we all know you think they're disgusting I love flowers now it's when they stopped coming is when I realised I love flowers and I want them back

no one sends me flowers anymore because of this pod so just so you know I like flowers who's sending you flowers in the first place I don them back. No one sends me flowers anymore because of this pod so just so you know I like flowers. Who was sending you flowers in the first place? I don't think anyone ever sent me flowers

in my whole life. Had they? No, I don't think so. Yeah, but you get cans of wine and I get flowers. Can we not talk about booze? I'm really hungover. Tell me you're not going to drink

on the train down. I had to have a spiritual journey today to get over that hangover. Like I had to heal. I had to spiritually heal for the day. This woman actually messaged me.

She's like, apparently it's good for spikes in your neck. And I think she's a yoga teacher and they have this like pillow thing. Oh, I know that, Matt. Yeah, I have one.

There's like spikes on it. And I was like, grand, I'll just drill my neck, drill my... I'm glad to hear that you get hung over in theory though

because I feel like you never do. It's always me ringing you like, while I do, please help me. Yeah hung over in theory though because I feel like you never do. It's always me ringing you like what I do please help me. Yeah. I've had three baths. This one really

this one really hit me. I mean I was drinking Wetherspoons wine I'm not being bad about it. Oh God. Look the truth is if you're drinking wine

out of a train and then out of a tap you're going to pay the price. Out of a tap? No you can't. You can't. No. I've also started my Christmas decorating. That's the tap. No, you can't. You can't. No. I've also started

my Christmas decorating. That's the kind of person I am, yeah. I'm organising my bits for Christmas in Ireland and I can't wait. Oh my God. Oh, come here to me.

Did you see this? Right, two things that scared the life out of me. So you know the way we're scared of fish and crabs and stuff? What the fuck have you eaten? Oh, you got...

How do you always find that disgusting stuff? I love eating out of boxes. She's eating wet chicken from something. It's because Jo lets us have free stuff in the canteen. Not while the mics are on. Sorry, Jo. They don't want to hear that, do they?

Actually, some places, it's a thing where you just listen to people eating. It's like Muckbook or something. It's called ASMR. So if people like that, they'll like that. That's disgusting I hate listening listen to you no

some people have a real phobia of listening to people eat I can't stand it I think it's just disgusting I don't like if someone is eating across the table from me and they've got like

their fork hanging off their hand or like they're just being really unmannerly I kind of can't take it did you see something in the news right well you obviously haven't seen it but you know the way

we're scared of fish and of crabs. Well, no, I'm not. You are, Gwen. You said you were freaked out by fish. You said you don't get in the sea. No, deep water. Well, don't go in deep water in Devon. They found a seven foot shark in Devon.

I, sorry, I know today I have the mental capacity of a cod liver oil tablet, but I'm pretty sure I heard something that they're trying to change the term from shark attacks to shark encounters. They're trying to like rebrand sharks basically

because they're saying that they get a really hard time. They don't kill that many people. Hippos, right, kill more people than sharks do.

They look cute but they're ourselves. We spoke about hippos last week but they are a very interesting animal. Oh, here we go. Don't call them shark attacks, scientists say.

In recent years, adopted terms like bites, incidents and encounters. Imagine that. Oh my God. Come here, Tisha. Shark encounter. Where's your leg? I had a shark encounter.

Oh, okay. You know, Max got bitten by a shark and he's got a mark on his hand. Shut up. Yeah, but it was in an aquarium. I was going to say it's because it was Max and it was probably like he was in a yacht or something and it like jumped up.

No, he was in a little fishbowl with the shark and he bit his hand. Still quite cool. Still quite cool to be bitten by a shark. You and Theodore would get on very well. He's mad for sharks at the moment. Me and Theodore aren't really seeing eye to eye at the moment. Why?

No, Theodore likes you. It's Gigi you it's Gigi she's the tough one Gigi's the one with the audition problem look I'm yawning it's half five did I mention

it's half five everybody well you nearly had a panic attack when you saw someone ordering a coffee downstairs you're like a coffee at this time I couldn't believe it

he ordered a coffee Martin Bruce ordered a coffee at five o'clock at night I nearly died I wouldn't sleep for weeks I am a hope and espresso martini who came up with He ordered a coffee. Martin Bruce ordered a coffee at five o'clock at night. I nearly died. I wouldn't sleep for weeks. I am a hope. And espresso martini.

Who came up with that disgusting drink? I know, it's sick. That keeps you wide awake. One thing that I wanted to bring up this week, right? Topic option, as Joe likes to call them. There was a basketball player

my brother showed it to me. And he was marrying this woman that he'd been with for a decade. Two children. She had been on Basketball Player Wives or whatever it was called. Some show that we would obviously love. And anyway,

he kept asking her to sign a prenup. They had a prenup and she kept saying, I'm going to sign the prenup. No, I'm going to get to it. I'm going to get to it. Week before the wedding, have you signed the prenup?

Yeah, I'm going to get to it. Day before the wedding, I'm going to get to it. They're at the altar. And then he says, have you signed the prenup? And she didn't. And he walked off and left her.

And that was it. Done. Never turned back. But you see, sign the prenup. Why didn't you sign the prenup? He was like, that motherfucker wasn't in the gym. I was like, wow. It's gone from like, I'm going to marry you to calling her a motherfucker who wasn't in the gym.

I know. But like, apparently, oh my God, you've just reminded me. The NBA turkey baster scandal. Oh, yes, yes. That was it. That apparently it's a real problem that women are trying to get knocked up

by basketball players because they want the money for the kids. And that basketball players are being told to take the condom with them when they go. So they just like leave with like a big sack of semen on their back. Turkey baster babies.

Yeah. Anyway, well, this fella, he left her at the altar because of the prenup. And it made me go into a hole, as Joanne would say. Down a hole. More holes were had.

Brad and Angelina, 50-50 split of post-union earnings. They're having real problems at the moment. Anyone who walks around with a vial of blood of their boyfriends, although that's not something I would do. That sounds exactly like something you would do. It does, yeah. Old Joanne, not new Joanne.

New, worldly Joanne doesn't do things like that. Old Joanne gets obsessed. New Joanne doesn't. You are a new Joanne. In the last four or five months, you're a new Joanne. I know. My friend Susan is so funny because I slept with one person. I rang Susan. I was like, I'm on a roll. And she or five months you're a new Joanne I know my friend Susan was so funny because I slept with one person

I rang Susan I was like I'm on a roll and she's like you're not on a roll if you slept with one person Joanne I'm like woo back in the game

got the mojo back when I had my like wild year three people woohoo I know we're pathetic had a great time Khloe Kardashian

got two million from Lamar. I'm not really sure why she would have needed that. I just don't understand how much money that family... Like, how much money do you actually need? They have so much. What's the point of it? Like, what is the point? Do you know what else I wonder about them?

You know the bickies they have in those big, huge jars that are all lined up neatly? Do they eat those biscuits? Not at all. And when do they replenish the biscuits? How are they not stale? I don't watch it. Oh God, I love it so much.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, right? She gave him 1.3 million but has to pay him 20 grand a month. And recently, well, not recently, about a year ago, he was saying that he couldn't afford to live on 20 grand a month

and he needed to double it. So he wanted 40 grand a month. What do you mean you can't live on 20 grand a month? he needed to double it. So he wanted 40 grand a month. What do you mean you can't live on 20 grand a month? What are you spending your money on? Yeah, but I think as well

if you get used to a certain quality of life very hard to go back to it. I wouldn't mind getting used to that quality of life. 20 grand a month what would we do?

And also he's raising the kids. Kids don't cost that much. Do they not? I'm saying how much they eat. Not that much. And I cost nothing. My mother did it. Yeah. No, I said Have you seen how much they eat? Not that much. And I cost nothing. My mother, she'd pay,

she'd, no, I said to her, did you not pay anything? And she said, oh, we made a voluntary contribution. And I was like, oh yeah. And then she goes, oh no, sorry,

that was the dog. Yeah. So they just got you for free. We're literally handing out kids for free in Ireland in the 80s. They were in fairness. Listen to this one. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo, right?

They were engaged to be married and Simpson was to pay him half a million per pound gained while married to him. So if she gained weight while she was with him, one pound would cost her half a mil. What? I know. And he added

in a lifestyle clause and everything. Oh my God. I know, but you wouldn't want to get pregnant. Then you'd be like, oh my God, you'd owe him millions. That's like abuse. I know, it's so weird. Romo said Simpson could not weigh over 135 pounds. He was very concerned about his wife's appearance.

How mad is that? Imagine the amount of money you'd have to pay him in January to be able to just fucking clear out the bank account. Jesus, this is going to be an expensive Christmas. I also saw something else

in the news that I thought was very funny. So Macy Gray was on The Masked Singer, right? And they found out who she was and all that jazz and she wouldn't leave.

She was like, talking to the producers and being like, I don't want to leave. I want to stay. I want to go back. And it's like, but we all know who you are now. The gig is up, matey. You're still getting your money. Did you see your woman who went back to Zara? She got locked in her jumpsuit. She got trapped in it. She had to go back to Zara to get cut out of it. Is there anything worse though? That fear of when you get locked in your clothes and you can't get it over your head but you've gone

too far so it's literally just at those what are these things called? Just at your wings and you're like oh my god and you can't get it up and you're stuck. I was actually doing a shoot today and the photographer was telling me this fox got wedged between his he had like this concrete barbecue thing and the fox fell down

the side of that and a wall and it stank. And like, so he was like, where is that smell coming from? The fox had been in like 26 degree heat

down this thing, wedged, and his cheeks were like squeezed up and everything. He had to get the fire brigade around for four hours and they got like a load of fairy up liquid

and everything and eventually got the fox out. Was he dead? No. The fox tried to attack him and then ran away. Well, I mean, did you, we know about the hippo

who ate his own owner. Ungrateful. I'm trying to have a thought. It's coming, it's coming. It's coming, it's coming. Oh yeah.

One of my friends, well, a friend of a friend, a fox broke into their house, came in through the cat flap while they were on holidays and turned it into like a fox's den.

No. Yeah. And made a huge big pile of it into like a fox's den. No. Yeah. And made a huge big pile of clothes, like lived in, like moved in. And when they came back, he'd been dragging in like dirty nappy,

like he'd been going through all the bins and bringing it all back in and building this like den for himself in this gorgeous house. And they said, the smell,

it stank. And then they kicked the fox out, obviously. But now the fox kind of just stalks the house because he thinks it's his

oh my god why do they smell so bad I don't know if your dog rolls in fox shit you're in for a treat it is like the

smelliest shit of all the shits so then that's what foxes do they just reek they just reek skunks get a bad name it's foxes that stink

I was also looking at this thing it made me laugh because I had so many rules as a child like all my mates were allowed to do whatever they wanted

this kid right he moved home and the dad wants to charge him rent which I think is totally grand he's 23 he gets his mom to do his washing

and he gets his mom to like cook all his dinners and stuff like that but my stepdad right no one was allowed to call our house after 9pm we had to get up

every morning, even the weekday mornings at 8am latest. We were never allowed past the house at 12 o'clock at night and if you got home on the weekend

past 12 o'clock at night, you weren't allowed in. He'd lock you out. So you'd be locked outside the house. What? Yeah, if you didn't get in at 12.

I remember Ashley was once over and she was really shy and meek and she was staying the night and she dropped some cereal on the ground and she went to pick it up and put it in the bin and Neil was like shy and meek and she was staying the night and she dropped some cereal on the ground and she went to pick it up

and put it in the bin and Neil was like, what are you doing? And she's like, that's my Scottish accent. And she's like, am I just going to put it in the bin? It fell on the floor

and he like went crazy. He was like, my floor is not dirty. Like he used to be absolutely furious. Like, you know, the new Neil. The new Neil's great. I love Neil. Old Neil, not great.

Dads are scary. I remember being at a party once and we were all taken to McDonald's and the dad was like what does everyone want and everyone said whatever and I because I was

a gluttonous little whatever I was like I'll have a Big Mac and I must have been really young I was really young and I remember he he ordered a Big Mac and when he gave it to me

he goes next time I'll have a hamburger like everyone else and I remember to this day I was so embarrassed and scared I was so embarrassed and scared. I was like, you asked me.

Next time I'll have a hamburger like everyone else. Well, the Big Mac is like six quid. The hamburger is one quid. And I also remember, I think it's around food.

I think it's all the shame around food. They like make you feel embarrassed. Another time I was in another friend's house and there was a, like a jar of biscuits or something. And I went in another friend's house and there was a like a

jar of biscuits or something and I went to put my hand in and her mum slapped slapped at it stop that is so weird

that's why I was bulimic yeah dicks but that like I always find other people's houses weird but like my parents were so strict that like me and my sister we used to do kind of weird shit

so there's a swamp around the corner that we used to go swimming in except we couldn't wear our own clothes around the corner that we used to go swimming in. Except we couldn't wear our own clothes in the swamp because my mom would go crazy. So we used to go to our friend's house who their mom didn't give a shit. We'd put on their clothes and then we'd all go swamp swimming. And then we'd come home and put on our actual clothes and then go home. Why would you go swimming in a swamp when you literally live by the sea?

I don't know. We just liked the swamp. It's so gross to think that we went swimming in the swamp. It was weird. I thought that was a swamp. No, it was in

Sutton and it's not really a swamp. I've seen it since. It's like a pond. A large pond. Yes, you just went swimming in a pond.

Went swimming in a pond. Yeah. Stop trying to get all Bear Grylls on it. I was in the swamp. Deep, dark

swamp. There was a crocodile on my right. in the swamp. Deep, dark swamp. There was a crocodile on my right. That is it for this week.

Thank God, because I'm absolutely wrecked. Remember, if you'd like to send us an email, you're more than welcome. Just send it to hello at mtgmpod.com My head's like a cabbage.

Joanne doesn't want to do it anymore. Make sure you subscribe so that you get every episode the moment it's available. We'll see you next week. I'm tired of my Montour. And Joanne is on tour. Go it anymore. Make sure you subscribe so that you get every episode the moment it's available. We'll see you next week. I'm tired of my Montour. And Joanne is on tour.

Go and buy tickets because she's fantastic.