Nerd Poker - Episode 42 - Off The Narwhal
Episode Date: November 5, 2019After a resounding victory against The Path of the Vaunted Tusk, the Ice Five is debating a sojourn into Dame Island to restock Time Boat and perhaps locate their former crew. But they may be getting ...in deep with inter-faction conflict in Cloddenheim, and those fishy folk are now humbled by the rage of Dargthur Sturry, to a point they will remember.
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Hey you guys, it's time to do our Stargoyle level and above drawing for cool swag that's gonna come in the mail for one of our Patreon supporters.
Congratulations to Kevin Hitt. Thanks, Kevin Hitt.
Hey.
Hey, thanks, Kevin.
Yay! Hey everybody, I'm Brian Pussain.
Comedian, writer, actor, nerd.
I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do
a new podcast where we play Dungeons
and Dragons in my very own dining room
with my wife, kid, and my
noisy dogs. So meet my friends
Sarah, Kev,
Dan, Clay, Chris.
Now it's time for another episode
of Brian Poussaint's Nerd
Poker.
Season 3.
Hey everybody, it's Brian Poussaint and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker.
It's episode 42 of season 3.
My friends are here.
All of them this week.
Chris.
Hello Brian, hello.
Sarah.
Hi.
Ken.
Hi, I play as Queep. Okay. You, Brian. Hello. Sarah. Hi. Ken. Hi.
I play as Queep.
Okay.
You sure do.
Dan.
Hi.
Blaine.
Impossible as murder.
And making a ton of noise at the end of the table.
Sam, everybody.
Hi.
Hey, Sam.
Hi, guys.
What's going on down there?
Are we going to be okay?
Nope.
Are we recording any of this?
Nope.
The detonator says we have 36 seconds.
We have some stuff from listeners.
I have, we got cash from... I wrote...
It was either the metal cruise that...
I was on the mega cruise,
Megadeth's cruise.
It's called the mega cruise.
It was either there, Minneapolis, or Chicago
that a gentleman named Cody J gave me some money.
I do not remember where it happened,
but it happened one of those places.
That's not troubling.
That's fine.
What happened is I got really drunk on the last night of the cruise
and then flew to Minneapolis and continued to drink
and then sobered up on Chicago but don't really remember much about it.
So you had a whiteout.
Yeah, it was bad.
I may not be able to stay at a Courtyard Mary in Minneapolis.
Did you do the Beat Kitchen show?
Or rent from Budget Rent-A-Car.
Did you do the Beat Kitchen Chicago show yet?
I sure did.
It was awesome.
Did you have any locals on that one?
I'm asking about my people.
That's all.
You put me on the spot.
I can't remember the name of the nice lady.
You know who you should get to open for you in Chicago is is that deep dish pizza oh boy that's good i want to say her name's
stephanie but i'm sure it's not stephanie haas maybe maybe shout out to stephanie haas if you're
out there what's up uh and then uh so cody j minneapolis metal cruise or chicago and uh Metal Cruise or Chicago. And we got a box of
gaming dice.
Does somebody
want to... Yeah, I'll take a photo
of it. But also help
describe this stuff.
Some stickers.
Hickory, dickory dice.
It looks like the awesomest pile of
toys you'd get
from a rack in a grocery
store.
You know what I mean?
They all have a cardboard top
and little silver bags.
There's figures with dice.
It's great.
Trading cards.
Top's trading cards.
I love his...
He's got a really
lovable sort of goat skeleton
over a pentagram
and a slice of pizza.
That's nice.
A lot of things I love
in one picture here.
It's really cool.
Harryhausen-style skeletons in various war poses.
Yeah, they all are different.
And they look like figures that you could get out and paint really nicely.
And there's one with a bow.
Here's one that listens to EMF.
It's unbelievable.
Pow!
That's a little hot in the mic.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Let me read what he wrote.
Because we have D&D to play at some point, too.
To Brian, Blaine, Ken, Sarah, Chris, Dan, and Sam,
please accept these dice as a small token of thanks
for creating the funniest podcast in all the realms. In place of
the six is the Pixel Skull
put there for high damage
and max radness.
May they aid you all in battle.
Crab up and frag out
lewcriticalhittattoo.com
Thanks, Lew.
Thank you. This is great, Lew.
Love your art, Lew. Really
talented dude. Cool looking stuff. And your art, Lou. Really talented dude.
Cool looking stuff.
And then Blaine, what happened?
You were somewhere in public and you ran into a person?
Yes.
I was smothered in onions over at a...
No, forget it.
Hey, I ran into a friend of mine.
I met a comedy nerd. And I know her on Twitter under the name Brainiac's Daughter.
She's a big XTC fan.
I met her at the Max Fun Con up in Big Bear, Lake Arrowhead.
She's very, very sweet.
And she came to Lucha Vavum, and She brought a bottle of whiskey. High West whiskey.
We should crack that open.
Get that going.
Put it in her gullets.
Get us through the winter.
And she wrote a little scroll here that says
something about how
the
gods lie sleeping.
To Dan, Sam,
and the Ice Five. Thank you for the hours of entertainment. This Dan, Sam, and the Ice Five,
thank you for the hours of entertainment.
This year has been a tough one personally,
and your podcast is one of the few things that consistently made me laugh.
I hope you enjoy the whiskey.
I know nothing of bourbon, scotch, single malt, et cetera.
Hi, Billy.
Hey, what's going on?
Thanks for the booze.
I'm going to kill a person.
He's cracking it. He's opening a person. He's cracking it.
He's opening the bottle.
He's got it going.
Heart, Takora McCullough.
So thank you, Takora.
Thanks, Takora.
Thanks, Takora.
This is awesome.
I also see Takora at shows.
Hi, Takora.
It'll get drunk.
Yeah, she's very supportive of local comedy.
And if you have a local scene, there's a lot of local scenes going on,
please go out and see some local comics.
It sure is nice. I have a local scene there's a lot of local scenes going on please go out and see some local comics it sure is nice uh i i have a shout out yeah i bumped into my old friend dan long who i hadn't seen in a while and i was very drunk at a bar and i was coming in and he said
hey big fan of nerd poker and i went what and then 45 minutes I came and found him and went, oh, yeah.
Thank you very,
thank you very, very much.
Did you forget about us? The way that we forgot about you?
Yeah.
I was just very intoxicated.
Were you like,
oh yeah,
that podcast I engineered
where the cast members' names are
Seth,
Seth,
Seth,
and Seth.
Where were you?
You went to a bar drunk?
Yes,
I arrived to this event intoxicated.
And he said, hey, big fan of the show.
And I went, of what?
And then put it together.
So thanks for listening.
Yeah, man.
Thank you.
We'll try not to be deeply wounded by that anecdote.
When you say we.
I think Sam was just being wise with his booze spending dollar.
He was consuming the booze previous to going to the bar.
Sometimes I show up at hookah bars
already surly
I'm not judging his frugality
more just you know the place that we occupy
in his heart and mind
which is nowhere
I'll talk about it
cut to his heart just you see the thing
just turns and says occupy
I go to
In-N-Out Burger all full of Christian
beef Christian beef.
Christian beef.
Where your heart is supposed to be?
Christian beef's father
was in Diamonds Are Forever,
wasn't he?
First beef.
What's going on, Dan?
Hey, are we recording?
Yeah, we should do a show.
We are.
Well, first of all, I'm going to stutter, and then I'm going to say I just was on the
road, and I'll thank some people personally in the next episode just to keep things moving.
But thanks, everybody who came out to my show as well as up in Portland and Seattle and
Wenatchee and Eugene.
adeline winachi and eugene um and uh now it is time to find out what happened last time on nerd poker the ice five reclaimed their precious time boat yeah we. After defeating the fishy boys who had taken over their aquatic little barge thing,
they tossed a couple corpses over the side,
threw up some middle fingers,
and Halcine ascended the figurehead
and delivered a speech about defeating strongmen in the name of democracy.
The guards were pretty impressed and kind of scattered.
You've gone through the pockets of some of these fishy folk and discovered some things.
You also realized you're up against a faction known as the Path of the Vaunted Tusk.
They will be not too pleased you reclaimed Timeboat as it was apparently theirs
some years ago.
And now
you figure out what to do
with Timeboat.
Oh, wow. Where is Timeboat?
You're currently standing on Timeboat
figuratively, literally. Timeboat's
behind me! Here it comes! Hi, Timeboat!
Hello, Fern!
I didn't mean in our imag yeah uh time boat time boat tonight
will be played by elliot gould oh no the sales but only almost took dan's eye does not like elliot
hit me in the face comically uh time boat this is great radio yeah well and it'll be even better
hey who's that guy in the wheelchair?
Oh, I think his name was...
Yeah, I don't know how to make that stick.
You guys will just have to...
We'll figure it out.
Play with it yourselves.
The Dungeon Master only has so many moments
of good hand-eye coordination.
You're on time, but you're up here.
You're in the docks of Dame Island.
And yeah, you still haven't explored below deck,
but your cannons are missing.
Your cannons are missing.
Yeah, I may have done the hooks backwards.
But...
Oh, no, maybe not.
All right, sorry.
The cannons are missing.
Timeboat!
They have rubbed off or sanded off. off dark there's on the front of the boat going
i'll fucking kill anybody who touches my boat uh he's still mad well would you like to hear
what's been done to your boat so here's what's been done i guess it's okay we can just fight
the whole episode that's that was fun people did like on social media how much you yelled at me
in the last episode they were a big fan People did like on social media how much you yelled at me in the last episode.
They were a big fan of that.
Anyway.
A little tightly wound lately.
And it came out.
Do you want me to rub your shoulders?
Nah.
I do.
What if I just look at you lovingly?
Would you like him to rub?
Yeah.
That's not a thing.
That's the real question.
Right.
Multiple choice.
Okay.
I'm going to rub my...
I'll rub myself and think of you.
So...
Stop saying rub. Gross. I'm going to rub my, I'll rub myself and think of you. So, uh,
gross.
We're all gross.
Uh,
especially your eraser.
Chris has an eraser that says magic rub and it always looks gross.
But now,
right now,
especially it's just my friend.
It helps me get rid of mistakes.
The best after episode material we've ever recorded.
I would love that. All right. So you're on the deck of time boat and you're looking around the cannons are missing
jonkel your chef is missing ma your uh weapons master is missing time boat has been sanded off
the side of time boat all the armor and the armor step let's put it back on armor and improved uh
sailor still there but it looks like
there's been enough time passed since you were on the boat that the boat not only docked but
had gone through the preliminary stages of being refitted for the cult
so let's carve our name back into one thing just because we just murdered all those guys and they
went to go get all their friends and most of their corpses are off the boat,
but they're still like the big lobster dude's body
is back there.
We either...
Let's have lobster.
We should either beat it right now in the boat,
or we...
Excuse me?
No, I mean, we all get in the boat.
We take off right now.
Magic rubbing the...
Okay.
We all mutually masturbate each other on the boat.
What is not clear?
No, we either get out of here or we just...
Hoshink is just frowning at TikTok right now.
Yeah, I think we need healing too.
Yeah, or we just brace ourselves
that there's going to be another fight
before we get out of here.
I agree.
I think we're now protected by the town, basically.
This was like a...
There is one guard who's yelling.
Frontier situation.
We reclaimed our boat. Now it's our boat situation. We reclaimed our boat.
Now it's our boat.
They know it's our boat.
For the most part,
the crowd that had gathered
to watch you fight
the fish folk
has dispersed,
but there's one guard
who's kind of like
got his back to you,
kind of acting like
what you did is not a problem.
He's in a good way.
Chris just shot me a look like,
are you saying
he's fronting, motherfucker?
But no,
it's like he's guarding
this part of the dock and he's not taking issue with you he's not calling on board
yeah i mean we can sail away sail away uh if we want to down river like opposite from where they
went but if we want to get cannons back i guess what i'm saying is that there might be more
advantage of sticking around and at least stocking up and getting cannons we're gonna need another
weapons master pilot chef well they were apparently they're in town are two
people right they were drinking at it and so who gave away the boat
Hachinke I should also narratively explain has not been in the fight and
like she stopped at the end she didn't get on the boat with you and picked a
fight with you guys so she's rejoining you at this point yeah uh and yeah she's
like you know there's probably some uh food we have to restock or something i don't know have
you looked below deck yet we're about to okay so we go below deck great uh why don't you all do an investigation check and I will just pay attention to the highest number. Okay.
Ten.
Mine's not the highest number. You can ignore me, Dan. Twenty. Oh,
fuck. Brian, how you doing over there?
My tower.
Oh, my tower.
Your flange fell off again. These flanges
are loose. Try rubbing it.
Christ. So enthusiastic. Rub that flange fell off again. These flanges are loose. Try rubbing it. Christ.
So enthusiastic.
Rub that flange, Brian.
I know you like it when I talk like this.
What was this?
Investigation?
Yep.
It's not a 20.
Cool.
Well, Halseen crushed it, so here it comes.
You look around, and most of your food is gone.
What's left is just the meat stock.
It looks like it was very carefully removed.
Vegetarians.
No, I mean, what's left is the meat stock.
They sold off all the veggie type fruit.
Yeah, all that's left is dried meat and pickled eggs.
I like pickled eggs.
Right now, it looks like you would have uh a pretty boring two-day supply of food
on the boat um and stock up let's go talk to also talk to the bunks are still there but
whatever personal belongings were in there is everyone healed up are we all no yeah what about
our cannons are our cannons in the belly of the boat, or are they gone? They're gone.
Get some new cannons.
Yeah, there's no sign of the cannons.
There's no sign of your- Is there a possibility that they're inside the boat, or no?
No.
I haven't seen them.
In fact, there used to be cannonballs inside the boat that are no longer there.
You used to have some ammunition for them, and they're gone.
The fish people had our boat refitted.
My guess is we just ask around, hey, who refits boats?
They're going to have our cannons. We're going to have to
pay for them. And with
just your basic passive insight, you can
all tell this was probably going
to get worse. They probably were going to make it
a lot more culty on this boat.
You sort of interceded.
So you want to head into town?
Yeah. But first we should all
hug timeboat.
Are you chopping finally the blog
I think somebody should stay on the boat
yes we should or
Hoshinka volunteers to stay
she is trying to avoid
fighting in a town
right now how about and Gus why don't you hang out with her
so that way because Gus can talk to me
and so Gussie up top
and just keep an eye out we're're thinking more about Watch the Water.
I like, this is the most peaceful watch I've ever done.
Oh, you're a good boy.
I would like to carve Timeboat into the side of this thing.
Okay, do a performance check, Queep.
All right.
Yes.
I just healed everybody for 14 points.
Great.
Thank you.
I will also point out,
Darkthor and Dr. Uid are still poisoned.
Oh, shit. So, you're going going to feel pretty let's just say another word
I would have used would have began with an S-H-I
gross
I have an announcement
Happy Halloween and sponsored by
Spooky Sierra Mist
Thanks buddy
Sierra the Mist
I rolled a 4 for my performance check
so
you just can't seem
to get the right
amount of space between all the
letters so
it says timeboat but it's all kind of
just crushed together it's hard to read from a distance
wonky eye yeah so
you all let the bird with one eye
carve him as much as he just did it yep that's true that's true from a distance. He's got this wonky eye. Yeah. So you all let the bird with one eye carve time.
You didn't let him
as much as he just did it.
Yep, that's true.
That's true.
Also,
you know,
some folks say
that Sierra Mist
implies there are Sierra hits
to which I say
keep on playing
that country music.
Love is the reason
and the almighty lover.
Those are all billboard hits
for the band Sierra.
All right.
So
that's a
joke that i have been sitting on for two weeks uh the and it hatched
well y'all y'all thought uh queeps carving roll was bad check out what uh telfer just did with that joke the the yeah the the the setup is now hoshenka and gus are you know that
dragon fucking thing um they're they're gonna hang out on the boat while you guys go into town
and sound guys trump can the guard send us in there where do we want to go first boat place
you can talk to the guard if you need help i think we should go find uh our cook and um our
weapons master right so they're the
ones who like we're like this isn't our boat and we're fleeing so to chat up the guard just sort
of get a lay of the town yeah in tavern where would if people were strangers in town and they
were here for more than a day or two where would they stay oh well uh let's see we got the inn
it's it's called the fuzzy bucket you could go up to the fuzzy bucket uh so let's see. We got the inn. It's called the Fuzzy Bucket.
You could go up to the Fuzzy Bucket.
I don't see why that's such a problem.
Don't care for that.
Okay, well, it's called the Fuzzy Bucket.
There's also Viridian Keep.
That's where the sort of new mayor lives
since we killed Medrick, that beholder.
And then, I mean, Fuzzy Bucket's the only place
I think you might find someone who's a
visitor to town as far as inns go.
We're a big town, but
you know. Okay, Fuzzy Bucket
it is. Okay. How does a
beholder get elected mayor?
Is that like the
how Mayor McChinney, is that how they
elected a cheeseburger mayor of Iowa City?
Based on what you already know, it sounded like a hostile
takeover, not unlike Thagas and Boz all right um but can we find out more about these uh fish folk
and if they're gonna come back quickly if this guy has any kind of idea right that's something
worth knowing do you want to ask the guard or you want to head to the fuzzy bucket and ask around at
the bar ask the ask the guard what go do a persuasion check for me Darkfist show him some skin
oh wow
I know you got a great persuasion bonus
21
so he's like yeah well to be perfectly honest
it's going to be a bit of a problem for Dame Island
what happened back there
you know the Path of the Vaunted Tusk
has sort of a truce with dame island they help fight off some of the giants
that have tried to invade they try to help us fight off some of the what we'll call it aquatic
dangers and what have you and they're not great folk but they were easy to maintain an allegiance
with after we took the town back from the beholder so that's gonna worry
the mayor a fair bit i think they've got a lot of folk they've got a lot of mermen from up in the
ocean they've got you know a lot of those not they're mostly the narwhal folk is sort of the
core of their society and they've recruited some of the land dwelling uh there's a more amphibious
fish folk with the gills and the spines on their arms
and all that.
Well, they should have been taking our boat.
They believe in this
sea god, and
it drives their sort of evil
madness, if you will. I heard that
when they see God, they eat God.
That's right.
They're on a sea god diet.
They're doing the
C30 right now. 30 days, you believe in a sea god, and then yeah what you're saying? They're doing the C30 right now.
30 days, you believe in a sea god, and then yeah, yeah.
The vaunted tusk is their god?
No, the vaunted tusk is sort of a reference to the narwhal folk.
Who is their god that they worship? The tusk folk is what I call them in universe.
Who is the god that they worship?
Please say Dabney Coleman.
Please say Dabney Coleman.
The deep holy.
Say one more time?
The deep holy.
The deep holy.
Do we know what that is?
Do a,
if you have a proficiency in history,
you can check.
I do not.
Anybody?
But wouldn't I, as a cleric, have an understanding of other religions?
Sure.
I'll allow if you want to do a religion check.
That's a three, Dan.
The deep holy does not sound familiar.
Anyone else got a proficiency?
I will allow religion or history.
Religion or history, huh?
Wait, I had a history proficiency.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Well, roll a history.
I'll let you do a separate history check then.
Well, I have advantage because I...
Stop laughing at me.
You feel like you could ask...
She rolled worse. You could ask... I rolled a 12 you could ask. She ruled worse.
You could ask.
I'm 12 with my plus.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
The second.
I'll give you something.
The stereo bookend snorts.
You've heard of the deep holy.
I've heard of the deep holy.
So everyone can just shut up for one second.
It's got a bad reputation.
It's got a bad reputation.
Amongst sailors and pirates. Amongst sailors and pirates.
Amongst sailors and pirates.
You're not going to keep repeating word for word.
But it's mostly considered like more bestial folk believe in it.
It's not something that like humanoids or sailors actually think is good.
It's definitely considered evil.
Okay.
So, yep.
That's what's going on.
And yeah, the guard expresses he's concerned there's going to be some sort of backlash there's probably going to be an envoy sent to negotiate with the mayor
now uh either either today or tomorrow well darthor you are of the sea and very charming
perhaps you could deal with the envoy. Breaker one nine.
When is the envoy?
He thinks it'll probably happen soon at the mayor's office.
Well, this is an envoy from the bad cult people.
We probably want to talk to the mayor and defend ourselves first. And you're far enough inland that they'll actually be coming from the south.
You guys saw them sort of flee.
You came from the north.
There's a lot of north goings.
But the south dock is where this these guys normally
visit town and that's probably where they're going to come um he's hoping it won't be hostile
okay hopefully it'll be some sort of ambassador well i'm the admiral oh you're the admiral of
the ice five eh yes that's an interesting title just do you have an army yeah these guys but they're not really under
me we're all together what's everyone else's ranks it's just title only um you uh you head
up the main street from the dock area to the fuzzy bucket it is the biggest tavern you do
although along the way you see other taverns and you see a weapon of them hold up a candle to the
fuzzy bucket.
You feel like he just gave you sort of the tourist info.
This town seems much larger than just the,
even though you rolled well with the guard,
he just doesn't seem to like.
Fuzzy bucket is like the TGI Fridays,
and there's maybe some.
Exactly.
So there's other taverns you can search.
Why bother?
Let's just go to the fuzzy bucket.
And you feel like just based on, there was a.
The wings are good.
Fantastic.
A boat outfitting place where even though he didn't really give you this lead,
you were like, oh, if we wanted to look for our cannons,
they might have gotten resold there.
There's a lot in town that you could actually just explore besides.
Is this place bigger, smaller, same size-ish as Bozor?
Bigger.
Bigger than Bozor.
Bigger and more affluent.
same size-ish as bozor bigger bigger the bozor bigger and more affluent it feels like uh this beholder must have been more powerful to take over a town like this you felt like thagas you know
kind of led a fear campaign over a small population of a couple hundred people and this place seems
like it has a couple thousand people so it would have taken quite a lot of manipulation you haven't
quite figured out what this medrick guy was doing mean, does anyone think that we should talk to the mayor then first and sort of
defend ourselves that before?
Oh,
and maybe if we get in good with the mayor,
maybe he'll cut us a deal on cannons and shit.
Yeah.
And if we,
we,
I feel like if they're,
if the Bob cult is going to send an envoy to be like,
right,
then shouldn't we go to the mayor first and be like,
Hey,
here's why we did what we did.
And yeah,
that sounds good. And Darfur, you're the, you're the charismatic one,, here's why we did what we did. Yeah, that sounds good.
And Darkfrey, you're the charismatic one, right?
Oh my God, no.
I don't want to do any of this.
Speaking of which,
so if you guys are going to head up to the Viridian Keep,
it's on the south side of the island near the docks
where the fish folk might be expected to show up sooner or later.
I'm going to have you all, as you approach,
just do a general charisma check
just to see what kind of vibe you give off as you
approach the viridian keep that's a botch oh boy i got a 21 just peed my pants weird way to choose
to represent your one but i will take better than the alternative 13 or would you get tiktok
i got a four oh boy all boy. All right. So you two... I peed on healthy for one.
You both kind of...
Well, you can't really...
Well, I guess you pee like sort of a dark oak sap or something.
We don't need to get into it.
Okay.
Well, it's...
You should drink more water.
You're made of wood and steel and stone, so you can pick what kind of weird secretion
TikTok has.
I think you're right.
Some kind of mechanical sap.
I regret opening this can of worms so much.
No, you did it.
But, you know, Dr. Uid, you give off enough of a vibe, you know, to kind of...
Gotta be the knicker chief.
But you look like, because you all rolled very disparately, you give off a very Motley
Crew insert music reference vibe.
Yeah, sweet.
They definitely recognize you at the gate because dr who it's got enough of a spring
in his step are you like john pertwee dr who are you like charming uh mod doctor i'm a uh i'm a
ted knight in a uh suit drawn by dave berg dr who oh my gosh super real thin yeah it's all happening so yeah the guards immediately part
and you see a scribe kind of scurry to the front gate and say come in come in
hi everybody this is my friend harvey levin i assume you want to see lord hustarbuss
yeah sure where is he take us to him i will uh so uh he walks you down a stone path up to this
big building um things look rough
it looks like maybe there was a battle in the courtyard and what happened here oh uh well we
we had to fight some orcs it was an ugly scene yeah well i'll pardon your dust for a couple
minutes is there any uh worries about any more attacks coming up? Yes, in fact, there is. Uh, we just received word right before you came that, uh,
well, you all attacked the Path of the Vaunted Tusk.
Uh, a little stressful.
Just sort of figuring out how to deal with that.
I don't really know, uh, where the Lord Husterbus,
where the authority is on this yet.
Attack isn't quite the right word for what happened.
We gave them an opportunity to get off our boat,
and they didn't take it.
And we told them the consequences,
and they opted to go with the consequences.
I see.
Well, I'll be sure to keep that in mind.
I'm just the lowly scribe of the castle,
acting as a bit of a gate guy.
Gotcha.
Well, I'm getting ready for whoever after you.
Don't sell yourself short.
We have everything written on cards!
Okay.
Interesting.
What's your name, friend?
Oh.
You don't know your own name?
The dungeon master has a list,
and he gets to go to it too often.
He's a real ditz.
We're going to get deep into your background, pal.
My name's Dax.
Hi.
You get as deep into my background as...
He's pulled up my entire character notes now,
so if you want to ask me about my family
or what I did before I was elected to this position...
No, we want to go talk to Husker Bus.
I was just common townsfolk
before oh excuse me i'll just see if lost interest okay so he walks you to uh inside the
veridian keep and yes in fact lord hustler bus is sitting around a bunch of consultants trying
to figure out what to do about the path of vaunted tusk as you come up he's got like a
circle of five old men around him he's clearly the youngest and uh a circle of five old
men yeah yeah and they're all human um which is you know a lot of humans one place but is that
unusual to have no variety of races uh do an insight for me blaine i don't know if we can use that. That's a 12, Dan.
Based on what you gathered living in the observatory with the Baron,
you feel kind of put off by it for sure.
You've been to a couple of towns now in this sort of post-comet landscape
that it seems unusual, but you're not sure if it's where any of the calculated thing
or a cultural thing well the guards just going backwards are all the guards human uh with that
insight check uh you're not sure but all the ones you can remember were human yeah okay so
uh lord huster bus uh stands up looks around and uh he dismisses everybody around him
um they all leave go go into different parts of the keep and he says ah welcome welcome the
ice five yes uh quite an interesting day you've had thank you for visiting dame island
thanks we're just here to do some early press for our new album
well is he being sarcastic?
We knew that the...
No.
Well, do an insight check.
I was giving you what I just face value thought Darkthroat would do,
but why should I pass up a roll?
20.
You don't think he's being sarcastic,
but he seems extremely stressed out.
Okay.
And he's trying to cover it.
Okay.
We're going to help you fix this.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.
Can I offer you a night stay?
Because I think tomorrow is going to be even more busy dealing with this situation.
We would love that.
Yes.
Tell us about this orc.
Oh, he's excited to tell you about it.
He actually waves for a servant to come over whisper something that sounds very clearly like
let's prepare a meal for these visitors and you see like wait wait poison people start moving uh
some furniture around it looks like they're going to turn this meeting room into a dining hall
like like kind of ad hoc improvisation we ask him to send out like one or two guards specifically
to watch time boat uh that'll definitely be a persuasion check.
So if you want to ask him a favor like that, yeah.
Can I sort of assist her in being like,
there are parts of our party, the Ice Five,
who are guarding the boat.
Perhaps a guard or two could bring them some food as well.
I'm going to have her do it with advantage.
But you're all assisting her, so she gets advantage.
22.
Oh, cool.
He nods very agreeably, and he promises he'll have a retinue of five guards wearing fine armor.
And some food for our friends.
For your friends.
On the boat.
I just said we have people waiting on the boat.
Yes, of course.
Of course.
We'll send food.
Have a seat, please.
I'll have a roasted meal come out to you in just a second.
Thank you.
Yes.
Potatoes, poultry, whatever you care for.
As long as it's potatoes or poultry.
You know, he's poultry.
He may not be into that.
You'll have to excuse me.
There's been a big food shortage here after our little battle.
We've only had our independence for about a week.
So it's been tough.
In fact, your boat showed up right when we were starting to finish our big fight.
There was, of course, the slaughter of Medrick.
That took longer than anticipated.
He was very tricky.
But I'm sorry it came down to paperwork with your boat.
You must understand, we're a nautical town.
Lots of boats come through
they had the paperwork that that boat belonged to them a long time ago and i apologize for the
confusion but we did have an alliance with them so this is going to be tricky they are uh openly
hostile to many other groups and we convinced them to not be hostile towards us so we're not
sure what is going to happen next because they don't generally breathe air
and walk amongst us.
So this will be interesting.
Well, they attacked us.
So hostile fits.
That's not what I was told by the guards who witnessed it.
I was told there was a confrontation.
Well, you told them they should get off our boat
and they didn't
and then they they drew first blood do a persuasion check to have him believe the way i remember it
yeah that's what happened to have him see it your way fucking 20 suck it he says of course of course
you're the ice five we were inspired to find our independence because of what you did in post or it was
actually quite exciting um we found about it in this found out about in the strangest way
it was from an orc we you know we've been ruled over by an army of orc and a beholder for what
must be years and then a new orc showed up what was his name
showed up. What was his name?
Da da da da da da da da Is it that one that we... New York, New York.
Da da da da da da da da
I'm swinging my axe.
I don't know his name,
but he was
with a grell, and we had to
send the grell away.
Aren't these the ones that we sent?
He said, you, the Ice Five, Grell and we had to send the Grell away. Aren't these the ones that we like? Yeah, I'm looking it up.
He said you,
the I-5, specifically slayed his beholder
and offered... Keckle. Huh?
His name was Keckle.
And he came with
Fugglesnut, the Grell.
He pauses and says, well, I didn't catch his name
but... I just threw it.
I'll have our historian make
a note that our town was inspired
to find democracy through the Ice Five
and Keckle, who spoke
well of you and was a strange orc indeed.
He said that he
received money, though he had
only
approached you in hostility,
and he was very confused and hopeful
because of it. He seemed very stupid, so theility and he was very confused and and hopeful because of it he seemed
very stupid so uh the fact that he was inspired by you despite his rather unpleasant nature
struck a chord with some of the orcs who uh you know approached the former people who ran the town
and helped inspire an insurrection it was a very very organic start to democracy here in Dame Island.
So,
uh,
organic.
I don't know what,
what,
what you saw in that,
uh,
what you saw in that work,
uh,
keckle,
you say to spare his life,
but he was the right monster at the right time for Dame Island.
Well,
cool. You're welcome. Uh, well, I, uh, like I said, monster at the right time for Dame Island. Well.
Cool.
You're welcome.
Well, like I said, concerned.
There should be an envoy, I'm told, tomorrow morning.
There will be an envoy from the Path of the Vaunted Tusk tomorrow morning. We would like to try
to keep some sort of peace
with them. I don't know that I can ask anything
from you, but perhaps
I don't want to say an apology,
but some sort of breaking of the bread with them would be useful.
They keep the giants from attacking us.
Yeah.
You think he's,
you think he's going to apologize?
You think that's in the cards?
We did offer them money for the boat and you know,
I believe very strongly in your negotiating tactics.
Of course they,
of course they did he says
almost sounding incredibly sarcastic but uh he says yes i believe you it is simply a matter of
bloodshed uh you you killed some of their people where are these giants that so often threaten you
uh well they come down from the mountains they've been trying to
claim dame island because it is a hub of humanoid travel.
There'll be one less of them, I think.
Oh, is that right?
Did you kill one?
Yes.
Which one?
Bat wing.
Flying one.
Oh, they've all got bat wings.
What?
His name was Heg.
They've consumed dragons and become mutants.
They're ugly.
Heg.
Yes, Heg.
Oh, so you freed.
Oh, of course. You're one of the Aarakocra. You went to. Heg. Yes, Heg. Heg. Oh, so you freed...
Oh, of course.
You're one of the Eric Cochran.
You went to reclaim your homeland.
Is that right?
Well, I went to visit.
Are your people now back in the city and rebuilding it
much as we are rebuilding Dame Island?
I don't think so.
TikTok is standing back there
making the slashing across the throat,
knock it off gesture.
Oh, okay.
Well, I see.
Hopefully they will, though.
Ask them about the album. Ask him about the album.
Ask him about the album.
So you recorded an album.
No, he does his best talk show host impression, but he also is wants to know more about what
you've been up to, what you've liberated as the Ice Five, stuff like that.
Do we need to?
Did we talk about the orcs exactly?
Didn't you say there are orcs coming here to kill you too?
Did I misunderstand?
We did manage to kill most of the orcs.
We spared some of them who helped inspire our rebellion.
But we sent them on their way so they wouldn't frighten the native people of this city.
Oof.
They basically, they did what we did.
That?
In Bozor.
Okay.
Right?
Well.
They sent, the orcs were there.
We did offer them money.
The orcs were the occupying force with the beholder.
They were like, okay.
We followed your lead.
We said, you know,
we understand your mercenaries hired by Medrick, the beholder,
and we will pay your wages for the amount of time you were hired,
and we will send you off, but you're not welcome to live here where we don't really have space for former hostile
invaders okay insight check that yes oh no uh 15 you feel like his choice of words, he does lean on some semi-racist language.
It's not that he's maybe
so much racist
as close-minded, though.
It's a very, very thin line.
So,
yes.
Don't shrug at me!
He offers you a night in the keep you can stay there um it's he says
it's very well fortified and protected uh the guards have regained access to the armory and
there are many of them left from about seven eight years ago when the town was taken over so
there is a lot of protection a lot of loyal guards he says he really tries to hype up how even though
things look very improvised around the keep and he's only been the lord for a short period of time
that uh you know this is this is a good time to be here um he he does uh say he's got like a other
problems he would love if he tries to he he sort of tries to lean on you guys asking for the favor
with like a little bit of a wink wink.
I could use some of your help for other problems around town, too.
But he says we could talk about that in the morning.
Yeah, let's talk about that in the morning.
Why don't you rest up?
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Are any of you injured or wounded?
That sort of thing.
Are you guys poisoned?
Yeah, we're messed up.
I.
Oh, a messed up.
I, you say.
You might notice the eye patch with the google
why don't i'll have a priest come by and we'll see what we can do about that sounds good so uh
he has a guard show you your room it's it's about nightfall at this point uh you have a heavy meal
um i'd say all you guys are naturally back up to your full hit points and um a little bit
poison right a little bit later priest comes by
and uh he he manages to heal both your poisons you're no longer poisoned oh good um
he takes a look at your eye uh hey blaine i could use a little bit of a cover while i
do some resource management research uh this research brought to you by impossible vizine get
the red out tastes like real beef possible vizine from the makers of
impossible Charmin only the softest for you and your family tastes like real
beef possible Charmin it's it's a priest of Bahamut. He tells you his god gives him great power
and he thinks that he can restore your eye.
Oh.
But then he frowns and says,
you'll have to forgive me.
I don't have everything I need here to cast the spell.
If you can spare any resources,
the city is a little low on, let's say, city funds.
Oh, you need some money.
I need some money
to gather the resources
to cast my spell
we have an ear necklace
don't we
I think you have actual currency
which I think is more interesting
I'm just saying
maybe you need an ingredient
if you'd like
you can offer him
a thread full of body parts
rather than money
but I think he's looking for money
well
how much
how about bitcoin
in an old
metallic electronic football game?
I do like TikTok
not reading the room at all.
They're like,
here are ears.
Use this to make your
It depends.
Queep,
I'm going to need you
specifically to roll
a persuasion check
to see how much
you can get him to lean
on the sparse city funds.
Oh no.
Where'd it go?
He rolled a one.
It went to one.
He says, yeah, you know, times are tough here.
It's about 100 gold in diamond dust.
I need to cast a great...
Do I have a...
I'm sure I have a diamond or something.
I have diamonds or gems or something.
I think someone still has a diamond.
We all had a bunch of diamonds.
I have the majority of the gold.
Okay, so I feel like we can pay for services, right?
Cool.
I just want you to track it and mark it.
Okay, so I'll give him 100.
Great, just straight 100 gold.
I'm looking at Halcine.
Do I give him This money now
It's for Queep's eye
It's for Queep's eye
So I feel like
He should decide
He will get back
His
He will lose his
Penalties for
Great
It's initiative
Can I ask him
Like cleric to cleric
Can I be like
Look
That's retail
Can we
It's like
I get it
And I understand
That things are
Tough but
This is very poor.
I don't have diamond dust lying around.
I don't know what to tell you.
Do you need any ears?
What do you mean?
A goblin ear necklace?
Can I take a look at it?
Sure.
So he takes it.
Good one, TikTok.
I told you body parts are the thing.
Turns it over in his hand.
His eyes get really wide. Oh, wow. a donation to the city of dame island if you did uh donate me the knowledge
of what it is that uh this appears to be a very ancient artifact. Oh, oops. Have you looked at this?
They're goblin ears, but they're almost petrified.
Oh.
No.
What?
They almost look like they were taken off mummified goblins from hundreds of years ago.
Do you see how frail they are?
Yeah, let's not give it away.
Can you identify what this is for us?
I just have.
But I mean...
What does it do?
I mean, its powers are clearly more vast
than I can tell
from just one
quick identification
I need to...
All right.
50 gold,
or 25,
not 100.
Holy shit.
I don't have the reason...
I can't peel his eye
unless I...
I'll give him 100
but say,
look, we're gonna need
some help while we're in town
and you're gonna be
our Johnny on the spot.
Got it?
Yes.
What's your name?
My name is Vesta. Yeah, we've all heard that.
So if anything goes wrong, we're going to be asking
for Vesta. Okay, well Vesta
will be the best priest you can ask for
in Daymild. I'm going to punch you.
Don't do that. Okay.
Was it me? No rhyming.
He rhymed his own name.
I was giving you a slow down motion.
Well, I'm just a rapper getting ready for his rap battle later tonight.
And just my other hobby, excuse me.
I guess what he's saying is his name is Vest and he's here to say.
So he loves the Ice Five.
He does love the Ice Five in a major way.
But he gives you back begrudgingly the goblin ear necklace.
The wrap, wrap, wrap.
And yes, he leaves.
What do you think about the Archmage?
What do you think about the Archmage?
He kind of does like over his shoulder.
Do a persuasion check.
He was leaving.
I don't know.
Am I just.
Just a freestyle about the Archmage.
Oh, what?
22.
The Archmage of Anzervale is a very evil man.
Very evil?
Yes.
He tried to live here for a while,
and we've banned him from the city limits.
Oh, interesting.
Even Medrick the Beholder did not want his like around here.
I mean, he's rumored to have done terrible things
to the south and the elven cities.
But what did he do here?
Well, we did have some people go missing
that we suspect that he was responsible for.
Oh, I think we can confirm that. It was one of those things where he came into town he was only here for i don't know a week before 20 people went missing and it was strange it was it was mostly
the homeless and things like that but it was undeniably uh not a coincidence so yes
uh so i'm gonna go get the diamond dust i need to heal your friend and he leaves um
about another hour goes by comes back places a hand on your head creep
casts greater restoration and your eyeball uh suddenly begins to regain supple tissue.
It hurts, but you blink and you can see out of it again.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
You lose your intimidation bonus unless you want to wear an eye patch over
your functional eye, but you do get back what you had.
Yeah.
You no longer take a penalty to initiative and I believe it was perception.
Yay. Thank you.
Cut to a bunch of fans furiously
erasing an eyepatch.
Well, he does have a character.
We published a character sheet
that both had Queep with an eyepatch and
not an eyepatch.
Mentally, I'll just check in with Gus and Harshen
and make sure the guard...
Any of you hearing.
What'd you get?
It's my Halloween mix.
Strawberries,
cheesecake,
chocolate, peanut butter,
mango sorbet,
and
Captain Crunch.
All at once?
Echo let the Technicolor yawn.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Separate.
That sounds delicious.
Appetizing.
Sounds like a whole pantry just shoved into a bucket.
And pickles.
I love you, buddy.
$50,000 stands can't be wrong.
Tick-Tock, what were you about to ask?
I just check in to make sure that Gus and Hoshinka are safe
and that the five guards showed up for them.
Hi, boss.
Hey, boss.
Everything good?
We did have some guards show up like you're asking about,
and I don't feel like I'm going to die on this mission,
so I'm putting that on my list.
Uh-oh.
A list of?
Gus's list.
And what does Gus put on Gus's list?
Oh, well, you know know I can't really remember
who I am or what it means to be a sentient
being before a certain time so I've got a little
list in my brain that I sort of use
like my new memories are you writing these
on your body no it's all
in my head I remember each and everything on my list
and I go over it every time I wake up
oh boy
you know my list haven't I told you about
my list I don't know I don't know i mean you might
have and i might have blocked it out because emotionally it's pretty punishing well anytime
you want to hear the list i'm happy to share it with you all right oh i do i do you want to hear
the list not now we gotta go okay all right we'll check in soon bud bye are we getting rest i'm
sorry i just are you going to sleep my slots uh yes so it's time for everyone to
manage your spell slots and such wink wink blaine wink wink um uh you get to relearn spells so
please keep track remember there's more spells than you can have at any one time once you reach
a certain level this is specifically for sarah and blaine but like blaine you you can learn a lot but
you've there's just so many you can learn it per day so now now there's this opportunity to of
course expand what you've got on hand uh for for the next adventuring you go um so why don't you
guys let me know who's if you're doing i'll do watch i'll do watch unless somebody else wants to
okay sounds like a no right sounds like everyone
wants to go sleepy by
why don't you do
a perception check please
and this is not
with advantage
because Gus is back
on the boat
if you would like
Gus to do his own
watch roll
I will allow it
or you can just do
his passive perception
I have
I'm proficient in perception
so I was gonna
can I roll
then I will allow it
with the advantage
yes
I couldn't remember
why you got to roll
with advantage
I can't remember a lot of things.
The last episode, I forgot how disengage works.
So I apologize.
It's a 22.
Damn.
All right.
So you're kind of passive.
Everyone's starting to, you know, they learn their spells and they start to go to bed after
a couple hours and very quietly, silently, even you just see a little white piece of parchment go
under the door and just sit there.
I open the door.
Do you open the door?
I want to see who drops off.
You just get a late checkout.
I'm not trying to grab them,
but I want to see who put that there.
So you're going to run to the door and just pop it open.
It's about 10 feet away.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do a perception check.
This will not be as good.
Oh, 23.
There is a dark shape hovering above the door.
Oh, dear.
Oh, come back in and close the door.
Great.
Okay.
So you close the door.
There's that white piece of parchment sitting on the floor.
Oh, shit. All right. I'll look at the parchment. Okay. So you close the door. There's that white piece of parchment sitting on the floor. Oh, shit.
Alright. I'll look at the parchment.
I need you to cover while I write the note. What do you think it was? Rather than pre-writing it,
I'm making it suit the situation. I'm reading
the note and hopefully it says, Hi, I'm a friend.
As opposed to, Come outside
and I'll murder you.
What a weird note.
Well.
This weird note brought to you by impossible crest get your teeth their
whitest possible crest made with real beef it's made with beef no it tastes like real beef sorry
sam fix that it tastes like it's made with real beef. Sam, Sam, fix it.
Okay.
Me asking Sam to fix that is brought to you by
Impossible Beef.
Tastes like real pork.
Impossible Beef.
Sam, I need you to go back
and fix my relationship
with my father and brothers.
Do you think I'm editing
or is this a time machine?
A little of both. Hey, it's Grace Slick'm editing or is this a time machine? A little of both.
Hey, it's Grace Slick's birthday if you got a time machine.
I don't.
Oh, I thought you said you had a time machine.
Sammy got my hopes up there.
All right, so I've handed...
That was really mean.
I've handed Chris Tallman the note that was written and slid under the door.
Now, no one else is awake, so you can tell the other players what it is
but you're not in character. I'm so
relieved. It says. Wait, can he tell us?
Dear Chris!
If he wakes us up. Shut the fuck up. If you wake everybody
else up you can tell them in character. Right now
I'm just for narrative purposes saying it's just you.
I'm reading it. I think what I'm doing is I'm
reading it. I'm about to open the door and I stop and go
mmmm
and I gently wake them up and say, okay,
this is not an emergency.
Someone just put, and I tell them what happened so they understand.
So there is this dark shadow by the thing.
This is the note.
I am horrifying to behold, but I am sent by the mother brain.
Please do not murder me.
So I think this is legit.
I think it's probably some
illithid
fucking monster. So when I open the door
and tell it to come inside, I think we should listen
and not kill it.
Is everybody on board with that? Sure.
I think this is legit. Did we get our rest or no?
Not yet. You've got your spells back
but this happens pretty early into the night. That's why I did it because it's early we could still go back to bed
true it feels like it's 10 30 11 o'clock at night let's say okay so what i would do
is i would sort of like clear my throat as i gently open the door and kind of look at him and go okay and sort of like give it a thumbs up and gesture
friendly come on in and sort of and back away you back into the room back into the room very slowly
you get hi licky uh licky is now at the microphone um hi licky uh you see a what looks like red tentacle, kind of lower itself in,
into the door first.
Oh, that's so creepy.
Yeah.
And it's clearly coming from the shape
and there's more of it,
but it kind of like has a little row of teeth on top
and a little row of teeth,
all just red hooks.
Oh, jeez.
And there's a little mouth in the middle of it.
Is that right?
And a very high-pitched, kind of whiny
stuttering voice starts speaking
from the hole in the
tentacle. And it says,
Oh, thank you so
much for not killing me.
Wait, it's Judy
Tanuta? No.
I am not Judy Tanuta. I am
Venus, and I am sent from the
mother brain.
Hello, Ice Five.
Hello.
Venus is her name.
Hi.
Did I hear you right?
Your name is Venus?
Yes.
Okay.
Do I need a new name?
Nope.
Okay.
I don't feel great about this one, so if you need me to change it, that's fine.
Just don't murder me, okay?
No one's here to murder you, Venus.
Why do you think you're going to get murdered?
Because you're so weird?
Oh.
Yeah, I'm weird.
What brings you here?
I bring news from the Mother Brain.
She has a gift and information.
Cool.
I'm not going to keep the voice up because I'd actually like to tell you guys a lot and i
feel like it would wear so thin on both you and the listeners that they would want to marry me
uh he'll come back but venus tells you the mother brain is holed up in the cave where you fought the
strange uh hag um and right now things are pretty good. She has been recruiting a new army.
And there is a rumor going around that she and the Ice Five are one in the same
because there were people at the battle who saw you sort of collaborate
on the death of Queen Dralana.
The Mother Brain does claim that Queen Dralana is dead.
And yeah, there's a gift for you guys.
So Venus requests permission to enter the door.
You've already kind of given it, but it seems very nervous.
Insight check.
I trust Venus, but if we get attacked, I'll be bummed.
This is going to be one of those invite them into your place
and they're committed vampires that's what i mean that's a 10. um this seems like a being that might
be hostile in other situations but not to you lick that's good yeah that's kind of the vibe all right
so we're just okay keeping an eye on cool I'm going to show you guys the mini.
Venus?
Yeah.
We know men are from Mars and women are from Venus,
but only on their birthday.
Sam, can you go back to my elementary school?
Whoa.
He's beautiful.
He hovers into your room.
Yeah, great.
Hi, is that...
Would you describe that as kind of beholdery?
Yes.
Okay.
Very beholdery, but you notice it doesn't have a mouth.
It just has a series of mouths on the ends of its tentacles.
Oh, that's much better.
You're very interesting looking.
Oh, thank you.
I kind of stick to the night and the shadows a bit.
I don't want to upset anybody.
Have you always looked like this?
Yes, this is how I was born into existence only a few days ago.
Oh, congratulations.
Happy birthday.
Thank you so much.
It was not a very pleasant birth.
The mother brain dreamed me into existence right after the battle,
so I'm her messenger.
So you're like in
the way that uh another beholder we met with dream and gazers would be created you are sort of a
mother brain gazer yeah bad bad dream brought me around but i'm pretty nice i just you know i i i
feed off the the blood of the living and it's kind of awkward for me and i do my best to uphold mother brain's treatise of peace
she insists i don't kill anyone and i don't and i don't attack anyone or drink of the blood of
anyone who's not evil and i do my best oh is that her those are her rules yep that's great to hear
and she uh offers some gifts and he uses one of his tentacles to lower a bag to the ground um
uh pockets look inside look inside he says is it like headphones and uh
crack it open no questions asked does anybody want to check it i mean i'll open it if there
sure uh what you see inside is vaguely familiar it is uh about 30 coins none of them look like
they are currency per se but they all have an iceberg carved into them and the number five
in common written and she says they are considered faction tokens that you can use to offer your uh
allegiances to towns and other groups. Oh, so if someone shows
the Ice V coin, it's
like a badge to say we are of the
Alliance. And you have seen these before.
You actually were given one
by the Thixit clan, where
the Mother Brain, her people,
offered you one. So you know
this is actually something fairly common
in Clottenheim.
Cool.
And Venus also requests permission for the mother brain to continue
considering herself part of the ice five.
Oh, yes.
I would say.
Halcine face is real different than TikTok face right now.
I feel like that's a good thing for us and a great thing for the Mother Brain as well.
At some point, I believe we're going to continue heading away,
but I definitely would love for us to meet up with her again.
Stay in touch.
Part of the Ice Five, though?
Well, an alliance.
You're being considered a pirate clan at this point, so...
The number part could be symbolic. She's being considered a pirate clan at this point, so. Okay, nice. Six.
The number part could be symbolic.
We're not too worried about it on our end.
That's what I'm worried about.
About the five?
How about ice five and friends?
So she's part of our alliance.
Ice five plus.
Correct, but also she would try to negotiate peace on behalf of you should it occur.
Just be like our ICE lawyer.
Someone spreading peace in any
name is good. If they wish it
to be in our name, as long
as it's peace, I think.
I was not able to switch my spells
like prepare new spells or whatever.
No, you could prepare spells
but no one's hit points are completely
back unless they got their hit points back from healing and then can i can i um well yeah okay
all right what would you like to cast no i mean i'm i think i think let's do it if it will bring
you comfort we should do it no let's sure let's go for it now we're a pirate clan
but do we have like an operating agreement or some sort of, you know?
Tell me, we can work it out.
You said you're not allowed to eat anybody who's evil?
No, I look for evil people.
Usually people who behave badly in taverns
and then when they exit, I drag them into an alley
and just take a couple of pints of blood.
Well, you should stick around.
There's going to be some plenty of evil people here tomorrow.
Oh.
Yeah, it's Comic-Con.
On that note, I think we're done.
Hey, Sam, what do you think happened this episode?
Hi, everybody.
Episode 42.
There is an odd energy at the start of this episode.
I can almost taste it.
Ew, that got weird, too.
We're going to beat off this boat.
Convoy was a 1978 Chris Christopherson trucking movie. That's almost taste it. That got weird to going to beat off this boat.
Convoy was a nineteen seventy eight. Chris Christopherson trucking movie. That's what it is.
Oh, also a single by CW McCall that I owned.
Oh, Bozor is a place, not a person.
We're lying to someone about how we slaughtered those people on
our boat.
We're in a place ravaged by orcs. John J. Rambo is the first
person to realize they drew first
blood his name is my name too what are we doing here are we giving ears to someone uh if i've
if i've learned anything from my time in this game we're absolutely gonna murder whatever this
thing is they gave us a note asking not to murder it uh and now that i've seen it it looks like all
the other eyeballs we've murdered we're for sure gonna murder it uh i want to give a thanks to a couple people one jasmine reeve who custom made that mini
she's a fucking badass really great yeah uh i can't recommend enough looking her up online i'll
share from like the account is that the bookshelf lady yeah she makes those little books i think i
may have even told you uh chris that i was ordering something for her that's what i was like yeah
and she does a lot of custom Beholder stuff,
so it's pretty badass.
It's actually a death kiss.
It's actually an existing Beholder offshoot.
So that's fun, listeners, if you want to look it up.
And then I wanted to thank Sean Bryant,
who helped me invent the Tusk people,
the Narwhal people.
I don't know if you guys realize,
he's been on the Clottenheim map
since the first episode.
So, yeah. I asked him to help me come up with some monsters you remember that thing and that's one of them and there's there's a whole lot uh of of that stuff hanging out in the background
of the adventure so great thanks again sean bryant thanks sean thanks sean you want to plug
any shows brianpersain..com. Thanks for listening.
Did you have anything?
Go,
yeah,
if you're in LA,
see The Filling.
It's my monthly show.
Bye.
What about you,
Blaine?
Shit.
Oh,
go see my show,
The Filling.
I'm taking over from Dan.
Don't tell him.
It's a big secret.
The manager told me not to say anything.
Bye.
I'm so glad I have this show
that no one's going to assassinate me
and take over from me.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker.
You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker and you get bonus episodes from there.
And you can also send us anything at P.O.
Box one six zero six nine.
Encino, California.
Nine one four one six. Thanks for listening. anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416.
Thanks for listening.
Hey, everybody.
I'm Brian Poussaint, and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker.
It's episode 43.
42.
42.
Yeah, I got that wrong.
And we had already discussed that, and I still fucked it up.
Back to one, everybody.
Still rolling.
All right.
Sound, speed, three, two to Brian.