Nerd Poker - Episode 42 - Off The Narwhal

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

After a resounding victory against The Path of the Vaunted Tusk, the Ice Five is debating a sojourn into Dame Island to restock Time Boat and perhaps locate their former crew. But they may be getting ...in deep with inter-faction conflict in Cloddenheim, and those fishy folk are now humbled by the rage of Dargthur Sturry, to a point they will remember.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey you guys, it's time to do our Stargoyle level and above drawing for cool swag that's gonna come in the mail for one of our Patreon supporters. Congratulations to Kevin Hitt. Thanks, Kevin Hitt. Hey. Hey, thanks, Kevin. Yay! Hey everybody, I'm Brian Pussain. Comedian, writer, actor, nerd. I've been playing D&D with my friends for a long time. I decided to do a new podcast where we play Dungeons
Starting point is 00:00:48 and Dragons in my very own dining room with my wife, kid, and my noisy dogs. So meet my friends Sarah, Kev, Dan, Clay, Chris. Now it's time for another episode of Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Season 3. Hey everybody, it's Brian Poussaint and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. It's episode 42 of season 3. My friends are here. All of them this week. Chris. Hello Brian, hello. Sarah.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Hi. Ken. Hi, I play as Queep. Okay. You, Brian. Hello. Sarah. Hi. Ken. Hi. I play as Queep. Okay. You sure do. Dan. Hi.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Blaine. Impossible as murder. And making a ton of noise at the end of the table. Sam, everybody. Hi. Hey, Sam. Hi, guys. What's going on down there?
Starting point is 00:01:43 Are we going to be okay? Nope. Are we recording any of this? Nope. The detonator says we have 36 seconds. We have some stuff from listeners. I have, we got cash from... I wrote... It was either the metal cruise that...
Starting point is 00:02:07 I was on the mega cruise, Megadeth's cruise. It's called the mega cruise. It was either there, Minneapolis, or Chicago that a gentleman named Cody J gave me some money. I do not remember where it happened, but it happened one of those places. That's not troubling.
Starting point is 00:02:26 That's fine. What happened is I got really drunk on the last night of the cruise and then flew to Minneapolis and continued to drink and then sobered up on Chicago but don't really remember much about it. So you had a whiteout. Yeah, it was bad. I may not be able to stay at a Courtyard Mary in Minneapolis. Did you do the Beat Kitchen show?
Starting point is 00:02:50 Or rent from Budget Rent-A-Car. Did you do the Beat Kitchen Chicago show yet? I sure did. It was awesome. Did you have any locals on that one? I'm asking about my people. That's all. You put me on the spot.
Starting point is 00:03:01 I can't remember the name of the nice lady. You know who you should get to open for you in Chicago is is that deep dish pizza oh boy that's good i want to say her name's stephanie but i'm sure it's not stephanie haas maybe maybe shout out to stephanie haas if you're out there what's up uh and then uh so cody j minneapolis metal cruise or chicago and uh Metal Cruise or Chicago. And we got a box of gaming dice. Does somebody want to... Yeah, I'll take a photo of it. But also help
Starting point is 00:03:33 describe this stuff. Some stickers. Hickory, dickory dice. It looks like the awesomest pile of toys you'd get from a rack in a grocery store. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:03:45 They all have a cardboard top and little silver bags. There's figures with dice. It's great. Trading cards. Top's trading cards. I love his... He's got a really
Starting point is 00:03:53 lovable sort of goat skeleton over a pentagram and a slice of pizza. That's nice. A lot of things I love in one picture here. It's really cool. Harryhausen-style skeletons in various war poses.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yeah, they all are different. And they look like figures that you could get out and paint really nicely. And there's one with a bow. Here's one that listens to EMF. It's unbelievable. Pow! That's a little hot in the mic. Yeah, sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Let me read what he wrote. Because we have D&D to play at some point, too. To Brian, Blaine, Ken, Sarah, Chris, Dan, and Sam, please accept these dice as a small token of thanks for creating the funniest podcast in all the realms. In place of the six is the Pixel Skull put there for high damage and max radness.
Starting point is 00:04:52 May they aid you all in battle. Crab up and frag out lewcriticalhittattoo.com Thanks, Lew. Thank you. This is great, Lew. Love your art, Lew. Really talented dude. Cool looking stuff. And your art, Lou. Really talented dude. Cool looking stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:08 And then Blaine, what happened? You were somewhere in public and you ran into a person? Yes. I was smothered in onions over at a... No, forget it. Hey, I ran into a friend of mine. I met a comedy nerd. And I know her on Twitter under the name Brainiac's Daughter. She's a big XTC fan.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I met her at the Max Fun Con up in Big Bear, Lake Arrowhead. She's very, very sweet. And she came to Lucha Vavum, and She brought a bottle of whiskey. High West whiskey. We should crack that open. Get that going. Put it in her gullets. Get us through the winter. And she wrote a little scroll here that says
Starting point is 00:05:55 something about how the gods lie sleeping. To Dan, Sam, and the Ice Five. Thank you for the hours of entertainment. This Dan, Sam, and the Ice Five, thank you for the hours of entertainment. This year has been a tough one personally, and your podcast is one of the few things that consistently made me laugh.
Starting point is 00:06:13 I hope you enjoy the whiskey. I know nothing of bourbon, scotch, single malt, et cetera. Hi, Billy. Hey, what's going on? Thanks for the booze. I'm going to kill a person. He's cracking it. He's opening a person. He's cracking it. He's opening the bottle.
Starting point is 00:06:26 He's got it going. Heart, Takora McCullough. So thank you, Takora. Thanks, Takora. Thanks, Takora. This is awesome. I also see Takora at shows. Hi, Takora.
Starting point is 00:06:37 It'll get drunk. Yeah, she's very supportive of local comedy. And if you have a local scene, there's a lot of local scenes going on, please go out and see some local comics. It sure is nice. I have a local scene there's a lot of local scenes going on please go out and see some local comics it sure is nice uh i i have a shout out yeah i bumped into my old friend dan long who i hadn't seen in a while and i was very drunk at a bar and i was coming in and he said hey big fan of nerd poker and i went what and then 45 minutes I came and found him and went, oh, yeah. Thank you very, thank you very, very much.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Did you forget about us? The way that we forgot about you? Yeah. I was just very intoxicated. Were you like, oh yeah, that podcast I engineered where the cast members' names are Seth,
Starting point is 00:07:18 Seth, Seth, and Seth. Where were you? You went to a bar drunk? Yes, I arrived to this event intoxicated. And he said, hey, big fan of the show.
Starting point is 00:07:26 And I went, of what? And then put it together. So thanks for listening. Yeah, man. Thank you. We'll try not to be deeply wounded by that anecdote. When you say we. I think Sam was just being wise with his booze spending dollar.
Starting point is 00:07:40 He was consuming the booze previous to going to the bar. Sometimes I show up at hookah bars already surly I'm not judging his frugality more just you know the place that we occupy in his heart and mind which is nowhere I'll talk about it
Starting point is 00:07:56 cut to his heart just you see the thing just turns and says occupy I go to In-N-Out Burger all full of Christian beef Christian beef. Christian beef. Where your heart is supposed to be? Christian beef's father
Starting point is 00:08:12 was in Diamonds Are Forever, wasn't he? First beef. What's going on, Dan? Hey, are we recording? Yeah, we should do a show. We are. Well, first of all, I'm going to stutter, and then I'm going to say I just was on the
Starting point is 00:08:32 road, and I'll thank some people personally in the next episode just to keep things moving. But thanks, everybody who came out to my show as well as up in Portland and Seattle and Wenatchee and Eugene. adeline winachi and eugene um and uh now it is time to find out what happened last time on nerd poker the ice five reclaimed their precious time boat yeah we. After defeating the fishy boys who had taken over their aquatic little barge thing, they tossed a couple corpses over the side, threw up some middle fingers, and Halcine ascended the figurehead and delivered a speech about defeating strongmen in the name of democracy.
Starting point is 00:09:27 The guards were pretty impressed and kind of scattered. You've gone through the pockets of some of these fishy folk and discovered some things. You also realized you're up against a faction known as the Path of the Vaunted Tusk. They will be not too pleased you reclaimed Timeboat as it was apparently theirs some years ago. And now you figure out what to do with Timeboat.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Oh, wow. Where is Timeboat? You're currently standing on Timeboat figuratively, literally. Timeboat's behind me! Here it comes! Hi, Timeboat! Hello, Fern! I didn't mean in our imag yeah uh time boat time boat tonight will be played by elliot gould oh no the sales but only almost took dan's eye does not like elliot hit me in the face comically uh time boat this is great radio yeah well and it'll be even better
Starting point is 00:10:22 hey who's that guy in the wheelchair? Oh, I think his name was... Yeah, I don't know how to make that stick. You guys will just have to... We'll figure it out. Play with it yourselves. The Dungeon Master only has so many moments of good hand-eye coordination.
Starting point is 00:10:41 You're on time, but you're up here. You're in the docks of Dame Island. And yeah, you still haven't explored below deck, but your cannons are missing. Your cannons are missing. Yeah, I may have done the hooks backwards. But... Oh, no, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:10:58 All right, sorry. The cannons are missing. Timeboat! They have rubbed off or sanded off. off dark there's on the front of the boat going i'll fucking kill anybody who touches my boat uh he's still mad well would you like to hear what's been done to your boat so here's what's been done i guess it's okay we can just fight the whole episode that's that was fun people did like on social media how much you yelled at me in the last episode they were a big fan People did like on social media how much you yelled at me in the last episode.
Starting point is 00:11:25 They were a big fan of that. Anyway. A little tightly wound lately. And it came out. Do you want me to rub your shoulders? Nah. I do. What if I just look at you lovingly?
Starting point is 00:11:35 Would you like him to rub? Yeah. That's not a thing. That's the real question. Right. Multiple choice. Okay. I'm going to rub my...
Starting point is 00:11:42 I'll rub myself and think of you. So... Stop saying rub. Gross. I'm going to rub my, I'll rub myself and think of you. So, uh, gross. We're all gross. Uh, especially your eraser. Chris has an eraser that says magic rub and it always looks gross.
Starting point is 00:11:55 But now, right now, especially it's just my friend. It helps me get rid of mistakes. The best after episode material we've ever recorded. I would love that. All right. So you're on the deck of time boat and you're looking around the cannons are missing jonkel your chef is missing ma your uh weapons master is missing time boat has been sanded off the side of time boat all the armor and the armor step let's put it back on armor and improved uh
Starting point is 00:12:24 sailor still there but it looks like there's been enough time passed since you were on the boat that the boat not only docked but had gone through the preliminary stages of being refitted for the cult so let's carve our name back into one thing just because we just murdered all those guys and they went to go get all their friends and most of their corpses are off the boat, but they're still like the big lobster dude's body is back there. We either...
Starting point is 00:12:50 Let's have lobster. We should either beat it right now in the boat, or we... Excuse me? No, I mean, we all get in the boat. We take off right now. Magic rubbing the... Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:00 We all mutually masturbate each other on the boat. What is not clear? No, we either get out of here or we just... Hoshink is just frowning at TikTok right now. Yeah, I think we need healing too. Yeah, or we just brace ourselves that there's going to be another fight before we get out of here.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I agree. I think we're now protected by the town, basically. This was like a... There is one guard who's yelling. Frontier situation. We reclaimed our boat. Now it's our boat situation. We reclaimed our boat. Now it's our boat. They know it's our boat.
Starting point is 00:13:27 For the most part, the crowd that had gathered to watch you fight the fish folk has dispersed, but there's one guard who's kind of like got his back to you,
Starting point is 00:13:34 kind of acting like what you did is not a problem. He's in a good way. Chris just shot me a look like, are you saying he's fronting, motherfucker? But no, it's like he's guarding
Starting point is 00:13:44 this part of the dock and he's not taking issue with you he's not calling on board yeah i mean we can sail away sail away uh if we want to down river like opposite from where they went but if we want to get cannons back i guess what i'm saying is that there might be more advantage of sticking around and at least stocking up and getting cannons we're gonna need another weapons master pilot chef well they were apparently they're in town are two people right they were drinking at it and so who gave away the boat Hachinke I should also narratively explain has not been in the fight and like she stopped at the end she didn't get on the boat with you and picked a
Starting point is 00:14:20 fight with you guys so she's rejoining you at this point yeah uh and yeah she's like you know there's probably some uh food we have to restock or something i don't know have you looked below deck yet we're about to okay so we go below deck great uh why don't you all do an investigation check and I will just pay attention to the highest number. Okay. Ten. Mine's not the highest number. You can ignore me, Dan. Twenty. Oh, fuck. Brian, how you doing over there? My tower. Oh, my tower.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Your flange fell off again. These flanges are loose. Try rubbing it. Christ. So enthusiastic. Rub that flange fell off again. These flanges are loose. Try rubbing it. Christ. So enthusiastic. Rub that flange, Brian. I know you like it when I talk like this. What was this? Investigation?
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yep. It's not a 20. Cool. Well, Halseen crushed it, so here it comes. You look around, and most of your food is gone. What's left is just the meat stock. It looks like it was very carefully removed. Vegetarians.
Starting point is 00:15:28 No, I mean, what's left is the meat stock. They sold off all the veggie type fruit. Yeah, all that's left is dried meat and pickled eggs. I like pickled eggs. Right now, it looks like you would have uh a pretty boring two-day supply of food on the boat um and stock up let's go talk to also talk to the bunks are still there but whatever personal belongings were in there is everyone healed up are we all no yeah what about our cannons are our cannons in the belly of the boat, or are they gone? They're gone.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Get some new cannons. Yeah, there's no sign of the cannons. There's no sign of your- Is there a possibility that they're inside the boat, or no? No. I haven't seen them. In fact, there used to be cannonballs inside the boat that are no longer there. You used to have some ammunition for them, and they're gone. The fish people had our boat refitted.
Starting point is 00:16:21 My guess is we just ask around, hey, who refits boats? They're going to have our cannons. We're going to have to pay for them. And with just your basic passive insight, you can all tell this was probably going to get worse. They probably were going to make it a lot more culty on this boat. You sort of interceded.
Starting point is 00:16:38 So you want to head into town? Yeah. But first we should all hug timeboat. Are you chopping finally the blog I think somebody should stay on the boat yes we should or Hoshinka volunteers to stay she is trying to avoid
Starting point is 00:16:55 fighting in a town right now how about and Gus why don't you hang out with her so that way because Gus can talk to me and so Gussie up top and just keep an eye out we're're thinking more about Watch the Water. I like, this is the most peaceful watch I've ever done. Oh, you're a good boy. I would like to carve Timeboat into the side of this thing.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Okay, do a performance check, Queep. All right. Yes. I just healed everybody for 14 points. Great. Thank you. I will also point out, Darkthor and Dr. Uid are still poisoned.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Oh, shit. So, you're going going to feel pretty let's just say another word I would have used would have began with an S-H-I gross I have an announcement Happy Halloween and sponsored by Spooky Sierra Mist Thanks buddy Sierra the Mist
Starting point is 00:17:44 I rolled a 4 for my performance check so you just can't seem to get the right amount of space between all the letters so it says timeboat but it's all kind of just crushed together it's hard to read from a distance
Starting point is 00:18:00 wonky eye yeah so you all let the bird with one eye carve him as much as he just did it yep that's true that's true from a distance. He's got this wonky eye. Yeah. So you all let the bird with one eye carve time. You didn't let him as much as he just did it. Yep, that's true. That's true. Also,
Starting point is 00:18:10 you know, some folks say that Sierra Mist implies there are Sierra hits to which I say keep on playing that country music. Love is the reason
Starting point is 00:18:19 and the almighty lover. Those are all billboard hits for the band Sierra. All right. So that's a joke that i have been sitting on for two weeks uh the and it hatched well y'all y'all thought uh queeps carving roll was bad check out what uh telfer just did with that joke the the yeah the the the setup is now hoshenka and gus are you know that
Starting point is 00:18:50 dragon fucking thing um they're they're gonna hang out on the boat while you guys go into town and sound guys trump can the guard send us in there where do we want to go first boat place you can talk to the guard if you need help i think we should go find uh our cook and um our weapons master right so they're the ones who like we're like this isn't our boat and we're fleeing so to chat up the guard just sort of get a lay of the town yeah in tavern where would if people were strangers in town and they were here for more than a day or two where would they stay oh well uh let's see we got the inn it's it's called the fuzzy bucket you could go up to the fuzzy bucket uh so let's see. We got the inn. It's called the Fuzzy Bucket.
Starting point is 00:19:25 You could go up to the Fuzzy Bucket. I don't see why that's such a problem. Don't care for that. Okay, well, it's called the Fuzzy Bucket. There's also Viridian Keep. That's where the sort of new mayor lives since we killed Medrick, that beholder. And then, I mean, Fuzzy Bucket's the only place
Starting point is 00:19:44 I think you might find someone who's a visitor to town as far as inns go. We're a big town, but you know. Okay, Fuzzy Bucket it is. Okay. How does a beholder get elected mayor? Is that like the how Mayor McChinney, is that how they
Starting point is 00:19:59 elected a cheeseburger mayor of Iowa City? Based on what you already know, it sounded like a hostile takeover, not unlike Thagas and Boz all right um but can we find out more about these uh fish folk and if they're gonna come back quickly if this guy has any kind of idea right that's something worth knowing do you want to ask the guard or you want to head to the fuzzy bucket and ask around at the bar ask the ask the guard what go do a persuasion check for me Darkfist show him some skin oh wow I know you got a great persuasion bonus
Starting point is 00:20:35 21 so he's like yeah well to be perfectly honest it's going to be a bit of a problem for Dame Island what happened back there you know the Path of the Vaunted Tusk has sort of a truce with dame island they help fight off some of the giants that have tried to invade they try to help us fight off some of the what we'll call it aquatic dangers and what have you and they're not great folk but they were easy to maintain an allegiance
Starting point is 00:21:00 with after we took the town back from the beholder so that's gonna worry the mayor a fair bit i think they've got a lot of folk they've got a lot of mermen from up in the ocean they've got you know a lot of those not they're mostly the narwhal folk is sort of the core of their society and they've recruited some of the land dwelling uh there's a more amphibious fish folk with the gills and the spines on their arms and all that. Well, they should have been taking our boat. They believe in this
Starting point is 00:21:30 sea god, and it drives their sort of evil madness, if you will. I heard that when they see God, they eat God. That's right. They're on a sea god diet. They're doing the C30 right now. 30 days, you believe in a sea god, and then yeah what you're saying? They're doing the C30 right now.
Starting point is 00:21:47 30 days, you believe in a sea god, and then yeah, yeah. The vaunted tusk is their god? No, the vaunted tusk is sort of a reference to the narwhal folk. Who is their god that they worship? The tusk folk is what I call them in universe. Who is the god that they worship? Please say Dabney Coleman. Please say Dabney Coleman. The deep holy.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Say one more time? The deep holy. The deep holy. Do we know what that is? Do a, if you have a proficiency in history, you can check. I do not.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Anybody? But wouldn't I, as a cleric, have an understanding of other religions? Sure. I'll allow if you want to do a religion check. That's a three, Dan. The deep holy does not sound familiar. Anyone else got a proficiency? I will allow religion or history.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Religion or history, huh? Wait, I had a history proficiency. Oh, you did? Yeah. Well, roll a history. I'll let you do a separate history check then. Well, I have advantage because I... Stop laughing at me.
Starting point is 00:23:03 You feel like you could ask... She rolled worse. You could ask... I rolled a 12 you could ask. She ruled worse. You could ask. I'm 12 with my plus. Oh, okay. Oh. The second. I'll give you something.
Starting point is 00:23:11 The stereo bookend snorts. You've heard of the deep holy. I've heard of the deep holy. So everyone can just shut up for one second. It's got a bad reputation. It's got a bad reputation. Amongst sailors and pirates. Amongst sailors and pirates. Amongst sailors and pirates.
Starting point is 00:23:29 You're not going to keep repeating word for word. But it's mostly considered like more bestial folk believe in it. It's not something that like humanoids or sailors actually think is good. It's definitely considered evil. Okay. So, yep. That's what's going on. And yeah, the guard expresses he's concerned there's going to be some sort of backlash there's probably going to be an envoy sent to negotiate with the mayor
Starting point is 00:23:53 now uh either either today or tomorrow well darthor you are of the sea and very charming perhaps you could deal with the envoy. Breaker one nine. When is the envoy? He thinks it'll probably happen soon at the mayor's office. Well, this is an envoy from the bad cult people. We probably want to talk to the mayor and defend ourselves first. And you're far enough inland that they'll actually be coming from the south. You guys saw them sort of flee. You came from the north.
Starting point is 00:24:21 There's a lot of north goings. But the south dock is where this these guys normally visit town and that's probably where they're going to come um he's hoping it won't be hostile okay hopefully it'll be some sort of ambassador well i'm the admiral oh you're the admiral of the ice five eh yes that's an interesting title just do you have an army yeah these guys but they're not really under me we're all together what's everyone else's ranks it's just title only um you uh you head up the main street from the dock area to the fuzzy bucket it is the biggest tavern you do although along the way you see other taverns and you see a weapon of them hold up a candle to the
Starting point is 00:25:04 fuzzy bucket. You feel like he just gave you sort of the tourist info. This town seems much larger than just the, even though you rolled well with the guard, he just doesn't seem to like. Fuzzy bucket is like the TGI Fridays, and there's maybe some. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:25:17 So there's other taverns you can search. Why bother? Let's just go to the fuzzy bucket. And you feel like just based on, there was a. The wings are good. Fantastic. A boat outfitting place where even though he didn't really give you this lead, you were like, oh, if we wanted to look for our cannons,
Starting point is 00:25:32 they might have gotten resold there. There's a lot in town that you could actually just explore besides. Is this place bigger, smaller, same size-ish as Bozor? Bigger. Bigger than Bozor. Bigger and more affluent. same size-ish as bozor bigger bigger the bozor bigger and more affluent it feels like uh this beholder must have been more powerful to take over a town like this you felt like thagas you know kind of led a fear campaign over a small population of a couple hundred people and this place seems
Starting point is 00:25:57 like it has a couple thousand people so it would have taken quite a lot of manipulation you haven't quite figured out what this medrick guy was doing mean, does anyone think that we should talk to the mayor then first and sort of defend ourselves that before? Oh, and maybe if we get in good with the mayor, maybe he'll cut us a deal on cannons and shit. Yeah. And if we,
Starting point is 00:26:14 we, I feel like if they're, if the Bob cult is going to send an envoy to be like, right, then shouldn't we go to the mayor first and be like, Hey, here's why we did what we did. And yeah,
Starting point is 00:26:24 that sounds good. And Darfur, you're the, you're the charismatic one,, here's why we did what we did. Yeah, that sounds good. And Darkfrey, you're the charismatic one, right? Oh my God, no. I don't want to do any of this. Speaking of which, so if you guys are going to head up to the Viridian Keep, it's on the south side of the island near the docks where the fish folk might be expected to show up sooner or later.
Starting point is 00:26:38 I'm going to have you all, as you approach, just do a general charisma check just to see what kind of vibe you give off as you approach the viridian keep that's a botch oh boy i got a 21 just peed my pants weird way to choose to represent your one but i will take better than the alternative 13 or would you get tiktok i got a four oh boy all boy. All right. So you two... I peed on healthy for one. You both kind of... Well, you can't really...
Starting point is 00:27:08 Well, I guess you pee like sort of a dark oak sap or something. We don't need to get into it. Okay. Well, it's... You should drink more water. You're made of wood and steel and stone, so you can pick what kind of weird secretion TikTok has. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Some kind of mechanical sap. I regret opening this can of worms so much. No, you did it. But, you know, Dr. Uid, you give off enough of a vibe, you know, to kind of... Gotta be the knicker chief. But you look like, because you all rolled very disparately, you give off a very Motley Crew insert music reference vibe. Yeah, sweet.
Starting point is 00:27:41 They definitely recognize you at the gate because dr who it's got enough of a spring in his step are you like john pertwee dr who are you like charming uh mod doctor i'm a uh i'm a ted knight in a uh suit drawn by dave berg dr who oh my gosh super real thin yeah it's all happening so yeah the guards immediately part and you see a scribe kind of scurry to the front gate and say come in come in hi everybody this is my friend harvey levin i assume you want to see lord hustarbuss yeah sure where is he take us to him i will uh so uh he walks you down a stone path up to this big building um things look rough it looks like maybe there was a battle in the courtyard and what happened here oh uh well we
Starting point is 00:28:33 we had to fight some orcs it was an ugly scene yeah well i'll pardon your dust for a couple minutes is there any uh worries about any more attacks coming up? Yes, in fact, there is. Uh, we just received word right before you came that, uh, well, you all attacked the Path of the Vaunted Tusk. Uh, a little stressful. Just sort of figuring out how to deal with that. I don't really know, uh, where the Lord Husterbus, where the authority is on this yet. Attack isn't quite the right word for what happened.
Starting point is 00:29:03 We gave them an opportunity to get off our boat, and they didn't take it. And we told them the consequences, and they opted to go with the consequences. I see. Well, I'll be sure to keep that in mind. I'm just the lowly scribe of the castle, acting as a bit of a gate guy.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Gotcha. Well, I'm getting ready for whoever after you. Don't sell yourself short. We have everything written on cards! Okay. Interesting. What's your name, friend? Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:40 You don't know your own name? The dungeon master has a list, and he gets to go to it too often. He's a real ditz. We're going to get deep into your background, pal. My name's Dax. Hi. You get as deep into my background as...
Starting point is 00:29:54 He's pulled up my entire character notes now, so if you want to ask me about my family or what I did before I was elected to this position... No, we want to go talk to Husker Bus. I was just common townsfolk before oh excuse me i'll just see if lost interest okay so he walks you to uh inside the veridian keep and yes in fact lord hustler bus is sitting around a bunch of consultants trying to figure out what to do about the path of vaunted tusk as you come up he's got like a
Starting point is 00:30:20 circle of five old men around him he's clearly the youngest and uh a circle of five old men yeah yeah and they're all human um which is you know a lot of humans one place but is that unusual to have no variety of races uh do an insight for me blaine i don't know if we can use that. That's a 12, Dan. Based on what you gathered living in the observatory with the Baron, you feel kind of put off by it for sure. You've been to a couple of towns now in this sort of post-comet landscape that it seems unusual, but you're not sure if it's where any of the calculated thing or a cultural thing well the guards just going backwards are all the guards human uh with that
Starting point is 00:31:13 insight check uh you're not sure but all the ones you can remember were human yeah okay so uh lord huster bus uh stands up looks around and uh he dismisses everybody around him um they all leave go go into different parts of the keep and he says ah welcome welcome the ice five yes uh quite an interesting day you've had thank you for visiting dame island thanks we're just here to do some early press for our new album well is he being sarcastic? We knew that the... No.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Well, do an insight check. I was giving you what I just face value thought Darkthroat would do, but why should I pass up a roll? 20. You don't think he's being sarcastic, but he seems extremely stressed out. Okay. And he's trying to cover it.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Okay. We're going to help you fix this. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Can I offer you a night stay? Because I think tomorrow is going to be even more busy dealing with this situation. We would love that. Yes. Tell us about this orc.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Oh, he's excited to tell you about it. He actually waves for a servant to come over whisper something that sounds very clearly like let's prepare a meal for these visitors and you see like wait wait poison people start moving uh some furniture around it looks like they're going to turn this meeting room into a dining hall like like kind of ad hoc improvisation we ask him to send out like one or two guards specifically to watch time boat uh that'll definitely be a persuasion check. So if you want to ask him a favor like that, yeah. Can I sort of assist her in being like,
Starting point is 00:32:50 there are parts of our party, the Ice Five, who are guarding the boat. Perhaps a guard or two could bring them some food as well. I'm going to have her do it with advantage. But you're all assisting her, so she gets advantage. 22. Oh, cool. He nods very agreeably, and he promises he'll have a retinue of five guards wearing fine armor.
Starting point is 00:33:12 And some food for our friends. For your friends. On the boat. I just said we have people waiting on the boat. Yes, of course. Of course. We'll send food. Have a seat, please.
Starting point is 00:33:22 I'll have a roasted meal come out to you in just a second. Thank you. Yes. Potatoes, poultry, whatever you care for. As long as it's potatoes or poultry. You know, he's poultry. He may not be into that. You'll have to excuse me.
Starting point is 00:33:35 There's been a big food shortage here after our little battle. We've only had our independence for about a week. So it's been tough. In fact, your boat showed up right when we were starting to finish our big fight. There was, of course, the slaughter of Medrick. That took longer than anticipated. He was very tricky. But I'm sorry it came down to paperwork with your boat.
Starting point is 00:34:00 You must understand, we're a nautical town. Lots of boats come through they had the paperwork that that boat belonged to them a long time ago and i apologize for the confusion but we did have an alliance with them so this is going to be tricky they are uh openly hostile to many other groups and we convinced them to not be hostile towards us so we're not sure what is going to happen next because they don't generally breathe air and walk amongst us. So this will be interesting.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Well, they attacked us. So hostile fits. That's not what I was told by the guards who witnessed it. I was told there was a confrontation. Well, you told them they should get off our boat and they didn't and then they they drew first blood do a persuasion check to have him believe the way i remember it yeah that's what happened to have him see it your way fucking 20 suck it he says of course of course
Starting point is 00:34:59 you're the ice five we were inspired to find our independence because of what you did in post or it was actually quite exciting um we found about it in this found out about in the strangest way it was from an orc we you know we've been ruled over by an army of orc and a beholder for what must be years and then a new orc showed up what was his name showed up. What was his name? Da da da da da da da da Is it that one that we... New York, New York. Da da da da da da da da I'm swinging my axe.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I don't know his name, but he was with a grell, and we had to send the grell away. Aren't these the ones that we sent? He said, you, the Ice Five, Grell and we had to send the Grell away. Aren't these the ones that we like? Yeah, I'm looking it up. He said you, the I-5, specifically slayed his beholder
Starting point is 00:35:52 and offered... Keckle. Huh? His name was Keckle. And he came with Fugglesnut, the Grell. He pauses and says, well, I didn't catch his name but... I just threw it. I'll have our historian make a note that our town was inspired
Starting point is 00:36:07 to find democracy through the Ice Five and Keckle, who spoke well of you and was a strange orc indeed. He said that he received money, though he had only approached you in hostility, and he was very confused and hopeful
Starting point is 00:36:24 because of it. He seemed very stupid, so theility and he was very confused and and hopeful because of it he seemed very stupid so uh the fact that he was inspired by you despite his rather unpleasant nature struck a chord with some of the orcs who uh you know approached the former people who ran the town and helped inspire an insurrection it was a very very organic start to democracy here in Dame Island. So, uh, organic. I don't know what,
Starting point is 00:36:49 what, what you saw in that, uh, what you saw in that work, uh, keckle, you say to spare his life, but he was the right monster at the right time for Dame Island.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Well, cool. You're welcome. Uh, well, I, uh, like I said, monster at the right time for Dame Island. Well. Cool. You're welcome. Well, like I said, concerned. There should be an envoy, I'm told, tomorrow morning. There will be an envoy from the Path of the Vaunted Tusk tomorrow morning. We would like to try to keep some sort of peace
Starting point is 00:37:18 with them. I don't know that I can ask anything from you, but perhaps I don't want to say an apology, but some sort of breaking of the bread with them would be useful. They keep the giants from attacking us. Yeah. You think he's, you think he's going to apologize?
Starting point is 00:37:33 You think that's in the cards? We did offer them money for the boat and you know, I believe very strongly in your negotiating tactics. Of course they, of course they did he says almost sounding incredibly sarcastic but uh he says yes i believe you it is simply a matter of bloodshed uh you you killed some of their people where are these giants that so often threaten you uh well they come down from the mountains they've been trying to
Starting point is 00:38:00 claim dame island because it is a hub of humanoid travel. There'll be one less of them, I think. Oh, is that right? Did you kill one? Yes. Which one? Bat wing. Flying one.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Oh, they've all got bat wings. What? His name was Heg. They've consumed dragons and become mutants. They're ugly. Heg. Yes, Heg. Oh, so you freed.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Oh, of course. You're one of the Aarakocra. You went to. Heg. Yes, Heg. Heg. Oh, so you freed... Oh, of course. You're one of the Eric Cochran. You went to reclaim your homeland. Is that right? Well, I went to visit. Are your people now back in the city and rebuilding it much as we are rebuilding Dame Island?
Starting point is 00:38:36 I don't think so. TikTok is standing back there making the slashing across the throat, knock it off gesture. Oh, okay. Well, I see. Hopefully they will, though. Ask them about the album. Ask him about the album.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Ask him about the album. So you recorded an album. No, he does his best talk show host impression, but he also is wants to know more about what you've been up to, what you've liberated as the Ice Five, stuff like that. Do we need to? Did we talk about the orcs exactly? Didn't you say there are orcs coming here to kill you too? Did I misunderstand?
Starting point is 00:39:10 We did manage to kill most of the orcs. We spared some of them who helped inspire our rebellion. But we sent them on their way so they wouldn't frighten the native people of this city. Oof. They basically, they did what we did. That? In Bozor. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Right? Well. They sent, the orcs were there. We did offer them money. The orcs were the occupying force with the beholder. They were like, okay. We followed your lead. We said, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:38 we understand your mercenaries hired by Medrick, the beholder, and we will pay your wages for the amount of time you were hired, and we will send you off, but you're not welcome to live here where we don't really have space for former hostile invaders okay insight check that yes oh no uh 15 you feel like his choice of words, he does lean on some semi-racist language. It's not that he's maybe so much racist as close-minded, though. It's a very, very thin line.
Starting point is 00:40:15 So, yes. Don't shrug at me! He offers you a night in the keep you can stay there um it's he says it's very well fortified and protected uh the guards have regained access to the armory and there are many of them left from about seven eight years ago when the town was taken over so there is a lot of protection a lot of loyal guards he says he really tries to hype up how even though things look very improvised around the keep and he's only been the lord for a short period of time
Starting point is 00:40:49 that uh you know this is this is a good time to be here um he he does uh say he's got like a other problems he would love if he tries to he he sort of tries to lean on you guys asking for the favor with like a little bit of a wink wink. I could use some of your help for other problems around town, too. But he says we could talk about that in the morning. Yeah, let's talk about that in the morning. Why don't you rest up? Is there anything else I can do for you?
Starting point is 00:41:15 Are any of you injured or wounded? That sort of thing. Are you guys poisoned? Yeah, we're messed up. I. Oh, a messed up. I, you say. You might notice the eye patch with the google
Starting point is 00:41:26 why don't i'll have a priest come by and we'll see what we can do about that sounds good so uh he has a guard show you your room it's it's about nightfall at this point uh you have a heavy meal um i'd say all you guys are naturally back up to your full hit points and um a little bit poison right a little bit later priest comes by and uh he he manages to heal both your poisons you're no longer poisoned oh good um he takes a look at your eye uh hey blaine i could use a little bit of a cover while i do some resource management research uh this research brought to you by impossible vizine get the red out tastes like real beef possible vizine from the makers of
Starting point is 00:42:12 impossible Charmin only the softest for you and your family tastes like real beef possible Charmin it's it's a priest of Bahamut. He tells you his god gives him great power and he thinks that he can restore your eye. Oh. But then he frowns and says, you'll have to forgive me. I don't have everything I need here to cast the spell. If you can spare any resources,
Starting point is 00:42:40 the city is a little low on, let's say, city funds. Oh, you need some money. I need some money to gather the resources to cast my spell we have an ear necklace don't we I think you have actual currency
Starting point is 00:42:51 which I think is more interesting I'm just saying maybe you need an ingredient if you'd like you can offer him a thread full of body parts rather than money but I think he's looking for money
Starting point is 00:43:00 well how much how about bitcoin in an old metallic electronic football game? I do like TikTok not reading the room at all. They're like,
Starting point is 00:43:07 here are ears. Use this to make your It depends. Queep, I'm going to need you specifically to roll a persuasion check to see how much
Starting point is 00:43:20 you can get him to lean on the sparse city funds. Oh no. Where'd it go? He rolled a one. It went to one. He says, yeah, you know, times are tough here. It's about 100 gold in diamond dust.
Starting point is 00:43:35 I need to cast a great... Do I have a... I'm sure I have a diamond or something. I have diamonds or gems or something. I think someone still has a diamond. We all had a bunch of diamonds. I have the majority of the gold. Okay, so I feel like we can pay for services, right?
Starting point is 00:43:57 Cool. I just want you to track it and mark it. Okay, so I'll give him 100. Great, just straight 100 gold. I'm looking at Halcine. Do I give him This money now It's for Queep's eye It's for Queep's eye
Starting point is 00:44:09 So I feel like He should decide He will get back His He will lose his Penalties for Great It's initiative
Starting point is 00:44:14 Can I ask him Like cleric to cleric Can I be like Look That's retail Can we It's like I get it
Starting point is 00:44:22 And I understand That things are Tough but This is very poor. I don't have diamond dust lying around. I don't know what to tell you. Do you need any ears? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:44:34 A goblin ear necklace? Can I take a look at it? Sure. So he takes it. Good one, TikTok. I told you body parts are the thing. Turns it over in his hand. His eyes get really wide. Oh, wow. a donation to the city of dame island if you did uh donate me the knowledge
Starting point is 00:44:56 of what it is that uh this appears to be a very ancient artifact. Oh, oops. Have you looked at this? They're goblin ears, but they're almost petrified. Oh. No. What? They almost look like they were taken off mummified goblins from hundreds of years ago. Do you see how frail they are? Yeah, let's not give it away.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Can you identify what this is for us? I just have. But I mean... What does it do? I mean, its powers are clearly more vast than I can tell from just one quick identification
Starting point is 00:45:28 I need to... All right. 50 gold, or 25, not 100. Holy shit. I don't have the reason... I can't peel his eye
Starting point is 00:45:36 unless I... I'll give him 100 but say, look, we're gonna need some help while we're in town and you're gonna be our Johnny on the spot. Got it?
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yes. What's your name? My name is Vesta. Yeah, we've all heard that. So if anything goes wrong, we're going to be asking for Vesta. Okay, well Vesta will be the best priest you can ask for in Daymild. I'm going to punch you. Don't do that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Was it me? No rhyming. He rhymed his own name. I was giving you a slow down motion. Well, I'm just a rapper getting ready for his rap battle later tonight. And just my other hobby, excuse me. I guess what he's saying is his name is Vest and he's here to say. So he loves the Ice Five. He does love the Ice Five in a major way.
Starting point is 00:46:21 But he gives you back begrudgingly the goblin ear necklace. The wrap, wrap, wrap. And yes, he leaves. What do you think about the Archmage? What do you think about the Archmage? He kind of does like over his shoulder. Do a persuasion check. He was leaving.
Starting point is 00:46:35 I don't know. Am I just. Just a freestyle about the Archmage. Oh, what? 22. The Archmage of Anzervale is a very evil man. Very evil? Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:44 He tried to live here for a while, and we've banned him from the city limits. Oh, interesting. Even Medrick the Beholder did not want his like around here. I mean, he's rumored to have done terrible things to the south and the elven cities. But what did he do here? Well, we did have some people go missing
Starting point is 00:47:02 that we suspect that he was responsible for. Oh, I think we can confirm that. It was one of those things where he came into town he was only here for i don't know a week before 20 people went missing and it was strange it was it was mostly the homeless and things like that but it was undeniably uh not a coincidence so yes uh so i'm gonna go get the diamond dust i need to heal your friend and he leaves um about another hour goes by comes back places a hand on your head creep casts greater restoration and your eyeball uh suddenly begins to regain supple tissue. It hurts, but you blink and you can see out of it again. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Thank you. You lose your intimidation bonus unless you want to wear an eye patch over your functional eye, but you do get back what you had. Yeah. You no longer take a penalty to initiative and I believe it was perception. Yay. Thank you. Cut to a bunch of fans furiously erasing an eyepatch.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Well, he does have a character. We published a character sheet that both had Queep with an eyepatch and not an eyepatch. Mentally, I'll just check in with Gus and Harshen and make sure the guard... Any of you hearing. What'd you get?
Starting point is 00:48:28 It's my Halloween mix. Strawberries, cheesecake, chocolate, peanut butter, mango sorbet, and Captain Crunch. All at once?
Starting point is 00:48:43 Echo let the Technicolor yawn. Yeah. Exactly. Separate. That sounds delicious. Appetizing. Sounds like a whole pantry just shoved into a bucket. And pickles.
Starting point is 00:48:56 I love you, buddy. $50,000 stands can't be wrong. Tick-Tock, what were you about to ask? I just check in to make sure that Gus and Hoshinka are safe and that the five guards showed up for them. Hi, boss. Hey, boss. Everything good?
Starting point is 00:49:10 We did have some guards show up like you're asking about, and I don't feel like I'm going to die on this mission, so I'm putting that on my list. Uh-oh. A list of? Gus's list. And what does Gus put on Gus's list? Oh, well, you know know I can't really remember
Starting point is 00:49:25 who I am or what it means to be a sentient being before a certain time so I've got a little list in my brain that I sort of use like my new memories are you writing these on your body no it's all in my head I remember each and everything on my list and I go over it every time I wake up oh boy
Starting point is 00:49:40 you know my list haven't I told you about my list I don't know I don't know i mean you might have and i might have blocked it out because emotionally it's pretty punishing well anytime you want to hear the list i'm happy to share it with you all right oh i do i do you want to hear the list not now we gotta go okay all right we'll check in soon bud bye are we getting rest i'm sorry i just are you going to sleep my slots uh yes so it's time for everyone to manage your spell slots and such wink wink blaine wink wink um uh you get to relearn spells so please keep track remember there's more spells than you can have at any one time once you reach
Starting point is 00:50:19 a certain level this is specifically for sarah and blaine but like blaine you you can learn a lot but you've there's just so many you can learn it per day so now now there's this opportunity to of course expand what you've got on hand uh for for the next adventuring you go um so why don't you guys let me know who's if you're doing i'll do watch i'll do watch unless somebody else wants to okay sounds like a no right sounds like everyone wants to go sleepy by why don't you do a perception check please
Starting point is 00:50:48 and this is not with advantage because Gus is back on the boat if you would like Gus to do his own watch roll I will allow it
Starting point is 00:50:54 or you can just do his passive perception I have I'm proficient in perception so I was gonna can I roll then I will allow it with the advantage
Starting point is 00:51:02 yes I couldn't remember why you got to roll with advantage I can't remember a lot of things. The last episode, I forgot how disengage works. So I apologize. It's a 22.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Damn. All right. So you're kind of passive. Everyone's starting to, you know, they learn their spells and they start to go to bed after a couple hours and very quietly, silently, even you just see a little white piece of parchment go under the door and just sit there. I open the door. Do you open the door?
Starting point is 00:51:33 I want to see who drops off. You just get a late checkout. I'm not trying to grab them, but I want to see who put that there. So you're going to run to the door and just pop it open. It's about 10 feet away. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Do a perception check. This will not be as good. Oh, 23. There is a dark shape hovering above the door. Oh, dear. Oh, come back in and close the door. Great. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:02 So you close the door. There's that white piece of parchment sitting on the floor. Oh, shit. All right. I'll look at the parchment. Okay. So you close the door. There's that white piece of parchment sitting on the floor. Oh, shit. Alright. I'll look at the parchment. I need you to cover while I write the note. What do you think it was? Rather than pre-writing it, I'm making it suit the situation. I'm reading the note and hopefully it says, Hi, I'm a friend. As opposed to, Come outside
Starting point is 00:52:18 and I'll murder you. What a weird note. Well. This weird note brought to you by impossible crest get your teeth their whitest possible crest made with real beef it's made with beef no it tastes like real beef sorry sam fix that it tastes like it's made with real beef. Sam, Sam, fix it. Okay. Me asking Sam to fix that is brought to you by
Starting point is 00:52:49 Impossible Beef. Tastes like real pork. Impossible Beef. Sam, I need you to go back and fix my relationship with my father and brothers. Do you think I'm editing or is this a time machine?
Starting point is 00:53:05 A little of both. Hey, it's Grace Slick'm editing or is this a time machine? A little of both. Hey, it's Grace Slick's birthday if you got a time machine. I don't. Oh, I thought you said you had a time machine. Sammy got my hopes up there. All right, so I've handed... That was really mean. I've handed Chris Tallman the note that was written and slid under the door.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Now, no one else is awake, so you can tell the other players what it is but you're not in character. I'm so relieved. It says. Wait, can he tell us? Dear Chris! If he wakes us up. Shut the fuck up. If you wake everybody else up you can tell them in character. Right now I'm just for narrative purposes saying it's just you. I'm reading it. I think what I'm doing is I'm
Starting point is 00:53:39 reading it. I'm about to open the door and I stop and go mmmm and I gently wake them up and say, okay, this is not an emergency. Someone just put, and I tell them what happened so they understand. So there is this dark shadow by the thing. This is the note. I am horrifying to behold, but I am sent by the mother brain.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Please do not murder me. So I think this is legit. I think it's probably some illithid fucking monster. So when I open the door and tell it to come inside, I think we should listen and not kill it. Is everybody on board with that? Sure.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I think this is legit. Did we get our rest or no? Not yet. You've got your spells back but this happens pretty early into the night. That's why I did it because it's early we could still go back to bed true it feels like it's 10 30 11 o'clock at night let's say okay so what i would do is i would sort of like clear my throat as i gently open the door and kind of look at him and go okay and sort of like give it a thumbs up and gesture friendly come on in and sort of and back away you back into the room back into the room very slowly you get hi licky uh licky is now at the microphone um hi licky uh you see a what looks like red tentacle, kind of lower itself in, into the door first.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Oh, that's so creepy. Yeah. And it's clearly coming from the shape and there's more of it, but it kind of like has a little row of teeth on top and a little row of teeth, all just red hooks. Oh, jeez.
Starting point is 00:55:19 And there's a little mouth in the middle of it. Is that right? And a very high-pitched, kind of whiny stuttering voice starts speaking from the hole in the tentacle. And it says, Oh, thank you so much for not killing me.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Wait, it's Judy Tanuta? No. I am not Judy Tanuta. I am Venus, and I am sent from the mother brain. Hello, Ice Five. Hello. Venus is her name.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Hi. Did I hear you right? Your name is Venus? Yes. Okay. Do I need a new name? Nope. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I don't feel great about this one, so if you need me to change it, that's fine. Just don't murder me, okay? No one's here to murder you, Venus. Why do you think you're going to get murdered? Because you're so weird? Oh. Yeah, I'm weird. What brings you here?
Starting point is 00:56:15 I bring news from the Mother Brain. She has a gift and information. Cool. I'm not going to keep the voice up because I'd actually like to tell you guys a lot and i feel like it would wear so thin on both you and the listeners that they would want to marry me uh he'll come back but venus tells you the mother brain is holed up in the cave where you fought the strange uh hag um and right now things are pretty good. She has been recruiting a new army. And there is a rumor going around that she and the Ice Five are one in the same
Starting point is 00:56:54 because there were people at the battle who saw you sort of collaborate on the death of Queen Dralana. The Mother Brain does claim that Queen Dralana is dead. And yeah, there's a gift for you guys. So Venus requests permission to enter the door. You've already kind of given it, but it seems very nervous. Insight check. I trust Venus, but if we get attacked, I'll be bummed.
Starting point is 00:57:21 This is going to be one of those invite them into your place and they're committed vampires that's what i mean that's a 10. um this seems like a being that might be hostile in other situations but not to you lick that's good yeah that's kind of the vibe all right so we're just okay keeping an eye on cool I'm going to show you guys the mini. Venus? Yeah. We know men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but only on their birthday.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Sam, can you go back to my elementary school? Whoa. He's beautiful. He hovers into your room. Yeah, great. Hi, is that... Would you describe that as kind of beholdery? Yes.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Okay. Very beholdery, but you notice it doesn't have a mouth. It just has a series of mouths on the ends of its tentacles. Oh, that's much better. You're very interesting looking. Oh, thank you. I kind of stick to the night and the shadows a bit. I don't want to upset anybody.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Have you always looked like this? Yes, this is how I was born into existence only a few days ago. Oh, congratulations. Happy birthday. Thank you so much. It was not a very pleasant birth. The mother brain dreamed me into existence right after the battle, so I'm her messenger.
Starting point is 00:58:44 So you're like in the way that uh another beholder we met with dream and gazers would be created you are sort of a mother brain gazer yeah bad bad dream brought me around but i'm pretty nice i just you know i i i feed off the the blood of the living and it's kind of awkward for me and i do my best to uphold mother brain's treatise of peace she insists i don't kill anyone and i don't and i don't attack anyone or drink of the blood of anyone who's not evil and i do my best oh is that her those are her rules yep that's great to hear and she uh offers some gifts and he uses one of his tentacles to lower a bag to the ground um uh pockets look inside look inside he says is it like headphones and uh
Starting point is 00:59:33 crack it open no questions asked does anybody want to check it i mean i'll open it if there sure uh what you see inside is vaguely familiar it is uh about 30 coins none of them look like they are currency per se but they all have an iceberg carved into them and the number five in common written and she says they are considered faction tokens that you can use to offer your uh allegiances to towns and other groups. Oh, so if someone shows the Ice V coin, it's like a badge to say we are of the Alliance. And you have seen these before.
Starting point is 01:00:12 You actually were given one by the Thixit clan, where the Mother Brain, her people, offered you one. So you know this is actually something fairly common in Clottenheim. Cool. And Venus also requests permission for the mother brain to continue
Starting point is 01:00:29 considering herself part of the ice five. Oh, yes. I would say. Halcine face is real different than TikTok face right now. I feel like that's a good thing for us and a great thing for the Mother Brain as well. At some point, I believe we're going to continue heading away, but I definitely would love for us to meet up with her again. Stay in touch.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Part of the Ice Five, though? Well, an alliance. You're being considered a pirate clan at this point, so... The number part could be symbolic. She's being considered a pirate clan at this point, so. Okay, nice. Six. The number part could be symbolic. We're not too worried about it on our end. That's what I'm worried about. About the five?
Starting point is 01:01:13 How about ice five and friends? So she's part of our alliance. Ice five plus. Correct, but also she would try to negotiate peace on behalf of you should it occur. Just be like our ICE lawyer. Someone spreading peace in any name is good. If they wish it to be in our name, as long
Starting point is 01:01:34 as it's peace, I think. I was not able to switch my spells like prepare new spells or whatever. No, you could prepare spells but no one's hit points are completely back unless they got their hit points back from healing and then can i can i um well yeah okay all right what would you like to cast no i mean i'm i think i think let's do it if it will bring you comfort we should do it no let's sure let's go for it now we're a pirate clan
Starting point is 01:02:01 but do we have like an operating agreement or some sort of, you know? Tell me, we can work it out. You said you're not allowed to eat anybody who's evil? No, I look for evil people. Usually people who behave badly in taverns and then when they exit, I drag them into an alley and just take a couple of pints of blood. Well, you should stick around.
Starting point is 01:02:24 There's going to be some plenty of evil people here tomorrow. Oh. Yeah, it's Comic-Con. On that note, I think we're done. Hey, Sam, what do you think happened this episode? Hi, everybody. Episode 42. There is an odd energy at the start of this episode.
Starting point is 01:02:40 I can almost taste it. Ew, that got weird, too. We're going to beat off this boat. Convoy was a 1978 Chris Christopherson trucking movie. That's almost taste it. That got weird to going to beat off this boat. Convoy was a nineteen seventy eight. Chris Christopherson trucking movie. That's what it is. Oh, also a single by CW McCall that I owned. Oh, Bozor is a place, not a person. We're lying to someone about how we slaughtered those people on
Starting point is 01:02:59 our boat. We're in a place ravaged by orcs. John J. Rambo is the first person to realize they drew first blood his name is my name too what are we doing here are we giving ears to someone uh if i've if i've learned anything from my time in this game we're absolutely gonna murder whatever this thing is they gave us a note asking not to murder it uh and now that i've seen it it looks like all the other eyeballs we've murdered we're for sure gonna murder it uh i want to give a thanks to a couple people one jasmine reeve who custom made that mini she's a fucking badass really great yeah uh i can't recommend enough looking her up online i'll
Starting point is 01:03:35 share from like the account is that the bookshelf lady yeah she makes those little books i think i may have even told you uh chris that i was ordering something for her that's what i was like yeah and she does a lot of custom Beholder stuff, so it's pretty badass. It's actually a death kiss. It's actually an existing Beholder offshoot. So that's fun, listeners, if you want to look it up. And then I wanted to thank Sean Bryant,
Starting point is 01:03:57 who helped me invent the Tusk people, the Narwhal people. I don't know if you guys realize, he's been on the Clottenheim map since the first episode. So, yeah. I asked him to help me come up with some monsters you remember that thing and that's one of them and there's there's a whole lot uh of of that stuff hanging out in the background of the adventure so great thanks again sean bryant thanks sean thanks sean you want to plug any shows brianpersain..com. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Did you have anything? Go, yeah, if you're in LA, see The Filling. It's my monthly show. Bye. What about you,
Starting point is 01:04:31 Blaine? Shit. Oh, go see my show, The Filling. I'm taking over from Dan. Don't tell him. It's a big secret.
Starting point is 01:04:38 The manager told me not to say anything. Bye. I'm so glad I have this show that no one's going to assassinate me and take over from me. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker and you get bonus episodes from there.
Starting point is 01:04:57 And you can also send us anything at P.O. Box one six zero six nine. Encino, California. Nine one four one six. Thanks for listening. anything at P.O. Box 16069, Encino, California, 91416. Thanks for listening. Hey, everybody. I'm Brian Poussaint, and you're listening to Brian Poussaint's Nerd Poker. It's episode 43.
Starting point is 01:05:22 42. 42. Yeah, I got that wrong. And we had already discussed that, and I still fucked it up. Back to one, everybody. Still rolling. All right. Sound, speed, three, two to Brian.

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