Nerd Poker - The Mountain Campaign - Episode 28

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Ken's roll at the end of the last episode turns out to be even wilder than everyone expected, and the dragon confrontation ends up weirder than anyone could have predicted (except maybe a couple of players who hint at some of it). Will THE EQUALER put the wyrms in their place?! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Hey, it's Brian Postain, nerd poker. We're calling it the Mountain Campaign. My friends are here, Sarah, Chris, Blaine, Ken, Engineer engineer Sam and of course our kick-ass DM Dan Telfer welcome to Nerd Poker. Hey everybody it's Brian Fersain and you're listening to Nerd Poker. It's the Mountain Campaign episode 28. We're all here Hello, Chris. Hi Brian. How are you? I'm good, buddy. How's your beverage? Oh delicious Sarah's here. I am. Hi. Hello

Throw up girls here. I mean Ken. Hey buddy. Hi. How are you? He's wearing that exercise shirt. shirt that says throw up girl. Very funny. The Ann's here. Sup, it's me the throw down girl. How you doing? Let's throw down. Oh no.

What, is this problematic? Improv was canceled. Blayton's here. Hey, I just threw up in my pants a little girl. I said improv was canceled. Oh, sorry. Yes, and? Guys, what the fuck? I'm telling you, improv was canceled.

It's called being funny. Hello. Maybe if you'd taken an improv class. I'm telling you, improv is cancelled. It's called being funny, hello. I actually know anything. Maybe if you'd taken an improv class. Sam's here. Hello, sweet children. Yes, Sam. Yes, Sam.

Pass them mashed potatoes, right? Do you guys smell radon? I smell radon. Oh, boy. Radon. Oh boy. Rion! Slowly I turn. Should we thank some people before we play some Dungeons and Dragons? We absolutely should. You know what?

If you haven't already, we would love if you would go to patreon.com slash nerd poker and sign up anywhere other than the iOS app for our patreon so you can help keep this thing going. If you're one of the top two tiers, I might say your name like right now user names who support us. They sometimes go like Shakira when the walls fell. Thank you. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you war anus. Oh, boy. Thank you War Anus. Oh boy. Thank you Mark P Strandberg. Thank you Kevin Hitt.

Thanks Kevin. Thank you Brian's farting penis. Thank you Roll for a Sandwich. Thank you Kielbasa Nova. Thanks Kielbasa. Thank you Okendoink's disgruntled roadie. I botched that sandwich. I rolled a one. Oh no. It's got mayonnaise. Oh boy.

Thank you that dumb giant fish from Mario 3 that eats you. You could forget. It's squinting like angrily at you. Thank you the hero formerly formerly known as Hulk hoagie 420 Thank you. Oh, this is a very On a monopoeia here Yes, see it. It's a long one. Thank you Glare go Wacka McGrumford do I Baroo baroo baroo blaggity blaggity blaggity globity glob Thank you James DTJ, which of course stands for Downtown, Town Julie.

Thank you Ben Zote. And finally, thank you Hotel Room Cuck Chair. Hotel Room Cuck Chair. We've all got one. Blaine, tell us who the supporters were brought to us by. Supporters brought to us by Catpampers. Shred your forearms by putting on Catpampers. Catpampers from the makers of Neosporin and Band-Aids

and Dogidea, dog antiperspirant. Never let them see you pant. Dan, thank you, Blaine. And he snorted. Because of those jokes. Time to talk about what happened. I'm understoker. That's right.

We did some very hilariously terrible roles last episode where plans, they just kind of got sucky. Dishposh just completely fucked up. Things didn't go the way I was hoping. They spent a lot of time on a boulder that they then gently rolled off to the side. And now I'm just gonna stop the voice. So yeah, you know, right now Pish Posh is flying his way

to Fairintown where you guys are up on top of a cliff. And last we talked about it, you guys are up on a little outcropping and you watch the boulder kind of go, and you're going to wait for Pish Posh. Would you all have taken a bath by any way? All up on a Saturday night? Yeah. So you guys would have set up a camp and I think started to get worried over those four hours. Hey, that's improv. Yes, and so, uh, high five for that. I'm afraid about high fives. Are you guys too busy yelling, that's improv?

That is improv. Yeah. All right. Well. Oh, what happened with that roll though? I believe we'll get to that in a second. I wanted to set up. You guys. What kind of camp are you setting up in the fruit clamping? Everyone puts up on your stripe stripy knee socks. A summer camp.

No. Are you going to wait for Pish Posh up here down there? I mean, I think we're still blame was going to I'm going to try to help him knock some of this, whatever is left of this ledge. That's right. You're going to try to just nuke it. But where you get your you're going to do it. Wait until we get. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Or if they start to hatch or she returns. Right. And we're just holding action. Yeah. And one more thing before we reveal the role from last episode, I do want to mention Pish Posh is flying from Mount Dukes and he rolled really low so it's gonna take him four hours However the role for what was happening back at The gem dragons mountain was different

we re-examined the role after we went off the air and it was in fact a 99 and not a 69. Which means instead of the sexy idea that I had as we were wrapping up the episode we're going to have this go extremely well. We said if the higher the roll better and that was shockingly high. Underline those 9ines or sixes on your hundred sided dice folks. It's very good. And that was to determine how well things were going as Glutt was trying to smash into the mountain

and find out what was taking you so long when it came to caving the mountain down on a furl knot. mountain down on a furl knot. So you're flying pish posh and you're just like trying to do your best to do it quickly, but you're, you're kind of like encountering a lot of debris from all the damage that Glutt has done to the countryside and having a hard time keeping eyes on Ferrentown on the horizon as you're going through all the rough terrain. Even with flying, you can only fly so high, see so well, and it takes you well. And as you start to show up, fly over,

you note there's nobody in Ferrentown. And you guys, I guess, would all see Pish Posh on the horizon just sort of like in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Lancelot is just coming and coming and coming and coming. That's weird where's his best friend the dragon? Pish Posh, you can kind of, you know, eventually get up to cliff face, you can be with everybody now and discuss and I would say you're a little relieved that glut hasn't shown up because you probably felt like you left things pretty fucky. And you wouldn't internally know in 99 had

happened. Other place in the continent, but it did. And it's good. So she didn't show up before you. We got to move fast because she's on her way. How'd it go? Oh, not great. I had to leave. Are you all right?

I'm OK, but I'm not sure about what's happening with Glut and the Topaz Dragon. So do we think that we should, knowing whatever it is that you know, should we be using the staff on the eggs now? What would be the difference if we wait for Glut? Well I'm wondering if you think that Glut is on her way already anyway. She might be, yes. Yeah. But if you use the staff, you can make the eggs vulnerable.

I mean, suck the souls out of them. Something. You could do something. Can y'all do a perception check? Yeah. Look at the weird Easter, reverse Easter. Eight. Twenty. Yeah. Reverse Easter. Well, that was a 20. Yeah.

24. Oh, wow. 19. Okay. I'm not going to beat that. 24. Well, yeah, I got a 10. 19 also.

Okay. Well, you're all kind of blank. What'd you get? I got an eight. Oh, okay. You're all kind of talking and at one point you're like, oh yeah, we do have to hurry. You kind of like look in the direction that you put together. Pish-Posh had been flying with Glut and only Pish-Posh can see it. It was needed at 20 plus for someone to see it. You just think you see like a, like a glint in the distance in the sky. And you're like-

Is it a Toad has glint or a black glint? Exactly. That's an insight check for that one. All right. Can't tell, can't tell. Unless you have a mask, he rolled low, but what was your bonus to insight? One so that's seven. Yeah, you can't tell me

Something's coming things are hazy. Do the eggs in any way look different in terms of Protection or anything like that. It's still an aura. Um Take magic do you have to do detect magic for an aura? Because it wasn't a visible aura. You just got the creeps. So do you have that? Do we still get more of an abstract aura than it was like a UCA necromantic field? Do we still get the creeps? Yes, I can do a Detect Magic.

I think right now everybody's just too weirded out for you to be able to get an objective sense of what's happening. So if you cast Detect Magic, there's just arcing waves of this like green and pink energy coming out of the eggs and swirling also just like around the crater. Well, is there no change or that's changed?

I don't think you cast it before. We didn't let it before, yeah. I mean, we just were told that. You can assume that's how it was before. There's nothing about it that makes you think things are better or worse. I'm going to get some distance between me and the eggs. Well, you're on the outer edge of the crater if you're down there but I don't know you guys kind of are I think still... I'm in there up here. Yeah.

I've been talking about like using the Onyx dragon, young Onyx dragon to collapse down on top. Well now the glint is closer. What does it look like? Oh if you guys are just hanging out and waiting yeah like itint is closer. What does it look like? Oh, if you guys are just hanging out and waiting. Yeah, like it's getting closer. Let's get out of the perception check. Paralysis? Yeah. No.

Sounds like between this and the last one, you mostly just tried to figure out the aura and not much else happened. 19. 15. 10. Four. I mean, with the 19,

it looks like there's two silhouettes coming. Oh. Together. Fly United, am I right? My feeling was, I thought that we were waiting because it was gonna signal her that we were attacking the eggs, and so she'd come back. She would know.

But now she's either coming back or not coming back regardless, right? So what's the downside? She's'd come back. But now she's either coming back or not coming back regardless, right? So what's the downside? She's being carried back. But like, why wouldn't we try to suck the life out of the eggs? Let's do it. Yeah, we have time. I mean, those are famous last words,

and they've been said many times by many people over the years. Why would we try to suck the life out of the eggs? Using the skills that Pish Posh learned at Improv Olympic, you're going to improvise a ritual with the staff. Now, there's adjacent, maybe remind listeners what you know about the staff. You've got the description from the homebrew item. So can you kind of tell me, in my head, I think I know what you're doing, but kind of like give me your intention a little bit before I have you roll anything. Well, I just hope to suck any life out of the eggs.

What about the staff would be close to that? The abilities, the chargels? Steal life? Okay. How is it described in the- You can use bonus action to drain vigor from the soul. And I would give this hit points to myself. You could? Or you could try to just expel it into something.

But you're putting the power somewhere. So you do have to tell me if it's going to you or to the staff or to an object or another being. The old man is like, I'll take it. I'll suck it into the staff. Okay, so just going to try and like overload it with charges. All right. So I know you would instinctively know like, okay, I want to be careful about this slowly cast the spell in a way that's going to over however long it takes pull all of the souls out of these eggs but you would know that there are hundreds of souls in each so it's gonna be tricky so do an arcana check just to start the spell if

you can't roll a 20 what's your your bonus star, Kena? Million. I don't think that's what it is. Four. So it's not impossible. If you don't roll a 20, you can't start the spell yet. Okay. You're gonna try and not figure out what you need to do with the staff.

Oh boy. That is a seven. So you bring the staff over to the edge of the crater and you start focusing and you can tell the staff can connect to the eggs and you feel the staff having the ability to draw things but the eggs are so powerful that you can't quite connect. You focus for about 10 minutes and everybody just sort of see Pish Posh trying and failing to connect. You could keep trying but the silhouettes are going to get here within minutes. He's the father of the eggs.

Roll an insight check. It's Professor Pickles. Just for that. Thank you. Twenty, seventeen plus three. Wow. Really weird feeling about the specificity of this towpath's truck. Oh, what an interesting question that just popped into my head. I really didn't think anybody was gonna ask me that question.

So this is like an awkward hookup that we're dealing with here. Right. You feel like, we should be able to try and- We're in a custody battle. You sort of, with that low roll, lost the ability

to like get the spell rolling before. They show up, but you can make one more attempt to just have the spell started all before they show up. Otherwise you guys are gonna be just standing around. Well, I have some stuff I wanna do also. Well, then I will make sure time is frozen after this roll. Is that what you're doing?

Stand around with my dork in my hand. Oh my gosh. That's gross. Yay, we'll take it. All right. 24. You see an explosion of energy out of 20 guys.

from the staff as five tendrils, like visibly reach out from the top of it and implant themselves in the tops. Across these eggs. These are like black wavy tendrils coming out of it. And your focus now, you feel like this is gonna take a while and that there's a chance the staff will absorb so much, it'll cap out, explode.

There is stuff in the staff's description about how in certain situations it can explode. This is gonna be a delicate operation you'll rule for again. But first of all, Dallytail at this point point right around the same time had some plans and you had talked about something with polymorph. So let's go to them before dragons show up. Awesome. I was just going through inventory and we have collected some things throughout our adventure that I think will help. We have a potion of invulnerability,

we have a potion of giant size, we have a potion of psionic fortitude and we have Mergaxor's elixir of life, which I think is, has a different name, but that's how it's listed in the thing. Maybe. But if you're, if you polymorph into a young conics dragon and then drink that in large, you would be a medium sized dragon. I mean, you'd still like the Gary Coleman of dragons. Giant small dragon. Pulsar of vulnerability if you want to

get in there and do for one of you guys. He should be the Pulsar of invulnerability if he's got the staff going. Okay and then we also have psionic fortitude and I think the deal with Mergexer's elixir of life is whoever drinks it doesn't die for 24 hours is that right then i feel like you explained i'll just have i don't know if the time i'm gonna look it up again okay at the end of 24 hours you die or like it was like something like you can't die for 24 hours i don't know that's yeah i know i explained it on the air when i was reading it wasn't like a resurrection yeah but the giant one, that's great. Cause then that's you can just nudge.

Yeah, like the meatball and like a dragon and then go giant size. Oh, I can't I can't remember how Mclaxer is spelled. Do you have it written down? I had it as Mergaxor. M-U-R-G-A-X-O-R. OK. What was that? Do you remember if that was my home? I got it.

My mouth like, I got it too, I got it too, yeah. I think you gave us a different name, but said that we could use that from D&D. I'm pulling it up so. Heavens to my cactus. Brian, are you okay? I guess my ass is fine. Whoever drinks this gains advantage

on death saving throws for 24 hours. That's what it is. So if this is potentially whatever monster fight, maybe we should be chugging potions. Yeah. So advantage on death saving throws, you should take that one. Me? Okay. As the smallest among us.

Okay, that's fair. And then you're going to take the giant one, and you're taking in invulnerability? Health. Great. And then there's psionic fortitude. Dragons can do psionic stuff, I mean, or we hang onto it. I'll just take a sip. Does anybody else have stuff like that from the times we've...

I have an amulet of health. Good. I wasn't with you when you loaded up. I only have some healing potions. Okay, so, uh, Sounding Fortitude has advantage for one hour on saving throws to avoid her end Charmed or Stunned, it looks like. Dragons can do that. Um, I already have Charmed Resistance, I think.

So maybe if Brian wants that one. Yeah, take it. Anything to prevent Mind Control, that would suck. Mind control to major time. All right, so you're all doing that while this is happening. I would say you would look up, I'm about to flip the hourglass. And when it's done, the satellites will be in clear visual range and they'll be able to see you as well.

So if there's anything else besides sort of doing the positions you want to get in, explosions you want to create with the cliff, you're gonna have to tell me before the sand runs out. Otherwise I'm going to narratively intervene. I just want to get some distance because I can blame you want to. A la peanut butter sandwiches. And you're gonna drink the potion to make yourself larger? I'm gonna. I love peanut butter sandwiches. You're on. That's so wild. And you're going to drink the potion to make yourself larger. I'm going to drink the potion.

And is there any specific kind of onyx dragon? I assume you're going to be a male one as opposed to the female glut. I'm going to get to safety before he does that. What are you going to do? I'm going to get to safety before he does that. You're going to make everyone a last meal? No. OK.

The Equalir is focused on other things. We don't have time. We're not going to skip breakfast. Yeah, what? It's. Yeah. What? Anything else? I want to say I'm gonna hide. Okay. Like where I can see the entire whatever's happening here with the eggs and everything. Okay, but you're gonna be hidden. I'm gonna be hiding. Yes. Are you hiding Dolly tale? Yeah. I want to get because I'm one sharpshooter. So I don't have to because if those things are on the ground. No, no, that's smart. Shall I be ready to murder? How long is my invulnerability?

Okay. I may dally-tail some trail next, and then toss it to him. So you two are hiding, and I'm going to need a stealth check from both of you. Not enough M&Ms. Mordecai, you're going to stay out in the open with Glep Dragon?

Yeah, but not where something will fall on me. And Pishkosh, you know you're gonna have to be visible. You know I am. I will stay out of my Pishkosh! 19 from stealth. 27. You guys do a fantastic job of hiding, but Dallytail sort of subverts the laws of physics when he hides. And I might be up a tree or something as well,

just to try and gain a little different perspective. And as a dragon, what are you doing? Are you flying? You're perching? You're threatening? What are you doing? I'm perching and sort of kind of waiting to see what I should do here. All right. So you all see both dragons together,

peacefully flying towards the crater. They land we'll say kind of like over here ish. Everybody do a perception check. 19. 17 plus 522. 18. And 22. 18. And life. Seven.

Do you have 22, Dallytail? I did. 11. Okay. Pish Posh, you're too focused on that egg ritual to really notice anything specific. And we'll just say you two, focus on being hidden, dally tail, you're going to be able to kind of like poke a head around and you dally tail, Mordecai and Bleb are all going to notice something specific in addition to what you'll all notice,

which is these two land next to each other. And Furlnuts does all the talking. Gullet just sort of sits there perched. And Furl Nuts says, Oh, wow, this is interesting. Oh, not what I wanted to happen. Let me tell you, I just thought we were... Hello, I'm Furl Nuts. I've met your friend here with the stick. I don't know what he your friend here with the stick.

I don't know what he's up to with those eggs. Halen, well met, who are you young man? Oh, hey, Halen, well met yourself there, meow. I mean roar. I just saw some action and some eggs and I thought it would come down here and see what was going on. And what's up with you guys? What are you? Why are you here? Froland just sort of like cocks his head and looks a little annoyed by your presence. Turns to Glutt and says, you didn't tell me he'd be here. Glutt does not respond. You three notice Glutt is clearly enthralled somehow.

Charm spell. Glutt is like, has had something cast on her and is doing what Frolux wants her to do. Okay. Okay. And so he says, I didn't know I was a father. What are you doing to those things? Nothing. No, that fellow who tried to kill me is doing something. You can't talk without breaking concentration because this is a massively difficult spell. I would say you can't talk without breaking concentration because this is a massively difficult spell. I would say you can hear, but it's on the edge of hearing and you're, you're.

Oh, I forgot Ken was already. Ken is has to stay. You have, you have freedom of, of a choice, but you have to be mostly like disassociating, like, like really focused on the spell. So like you're in your mind's eye more than you are looking around you. You would have had to roll like pretty high on the last perception check. OK, I'm going to use my actor feet to speak as Ken. I guess you're going to check your voice.

Yeah, I'm going to like, yeah. Should I tackle Ken? Can you project your voice with that? He's hearing. Oh, OK. Yeah, he's not. He there your voice with that? Oh, okay. There's a projection aspect. No, no, but I'm just going to speak and if they find me then that's fine for now. So they'll just think that Pish Posh's voice is elsewhere?

Yeah, it's like echoing. It'll be weird, but it's something. His back will be to them. I don't know if I should take a photo maybe, but like these two wouldn I'm gonna get a good angle here but like they would they're Pish Posh's back is basically to them while he casts the spell. Depending on how well this goes. I love that I'm like nothing but I forgot that it's clearly doing something. So this will be a deception check but I don't want you to roll until you say what you. What you want to say. Okay, because I'm just checking the feed right now. So I have advantage on deception performance checks.

When trying to pass myself as a different person, I can mimic the speech. Yeah. Nice. So I get advantage also. So what I'm just going to say is Advantage on this deception check., and I'm gonna be saying my name is Pish Posh and as I told you... Oh wait, I don't know exactly what you said to him then, right? So I had to say... I would just say like I was not trying to

kill you, I was trying to save you. This dragon glut had threatened your life and tried to enlist us to kill you. We came to save you. I'm sorry that we failed the first time, or whatever, something like that. Something like that. Fantastic monologue. I know you don't do improv, but whatever acting school you went to.

I'm like, freeze, he's right. Dentist. I have told so many times a story about me pretending to be dead the one time I tried to do a proud. But I did get a special in acting. It's a good story. All right, so now I have to do my deception?

Yeah. And you get advantage because you're actor feet. Okay, so. I like how intentionally you did that roll. Okay, so I guess you were my pluses. What was your high roll though? I was 14. I'm looking at my pluses.

I was 14 plus 16. Sinatra! That was a 16 if you couldn't hear it over at the Pavard-Hitzcock. Woody Allen! I am going to have him roll against it actually. Mighty Dice. Roddy Dangerfield! Mighty Dice. Oh, sure did. Yeah. So, boy, that guy gets no respect. No respect. I tell you, Wolverine, no respect. He gets a bonus, but yeah, he rolled a four. And so he sort of, you just see Surtr roll nuts, like narrow his eyes and be like, oh,

okay. Okay. Pish posh. And so he's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay.

He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay.

He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like, oh, okay. He's like nuts like narrow his eyes and be like, okay, okay, Pish Posh. Yeah, yeah, Glut's a real asshole. I never should have hooked up with her. Super toxic. She's harming your children. I know. But that's why I came here to take them away.

We're going to set up a new nest and start our family properly. She tried to tell me a lot of nonsense, but I gave her a good whammy and now she's not gonna try to bullshit me anymore. And we're just gonna take these eggs, so. This is very problematic on so many levels now. This is, but,

Pinch says, but, we just need to delichify your children first and then perhaps uh you know he can do that right that's what he's sort of trying to do right right now uh he can do it or the dragon can do it yeah i'm asking a fern fern nuts can do it and you don't think he can do this even You don't think he knows necromancy? If you would just allow, I do need to concentrate on what I'm doing right now. But what if you could just give me a moment, I believe we can help bring your children back to their natural state.

I do love that right now this is all being said like a very thorough monologue while Pish Posh's actual eyes are just like rolled back and you're like hoping the dragon doesn't walk 10 feet to the right or left. Oh my god. That'll be a persuasion check. Okay. Do you have any special bonuses, luck points, inspiration tokens? I think. That's a biggie. Yeah, hold on. The outcome of this is is definitely going to have a reaction. You are extensively lying and making requests to a director about his children. Well, okay, you say persuasion, but I would say...

I say tomato, thank you very much. What about performance? Because I got advantage on that with my actor feet. Whole persuasion against me. No, no, it's fine. You're right. What am I doing? I think that's got to be persuasion.

Sarah Soutran. I see what you're doing. Performance would be more if it was about like the quality of what you're saying than the content. Okay. Everyone agrees that it's a very high quality. Yes. We all think that natural performance of this is amazing. Oh, okay. What is that number? My eyes are too big.

20. Zero. It's an 18. Okay, so it's an 18 plus two. Oh, shit. Dirty 20. Well, I wanted a 20. I said dirty 20 open for pretty boy Floyd. I saw pretty 20 open for dirty boy Floyd.

Oh, man. I mean, I'm really honestly with the way this has gone, impressed with how weird shit has gotten the 99 is really like Well, it gave me a fun opportunity to do this weird shit Yeah, and we died so yeah for all that says is going to like get real close to you Pish-posh and you just feel his breasts You're pretty worried and he says I'll give you 24 hours to delitify.

I don't really understand. We're gonna go have a conversation. It's gonna mostly be me, but we're gonna go have a conversation. We have to make this family work and she's real evil and tried to bite me in half and set me on fire and break my wings off. And I'm gonna have to tell her to knock it off

if we're gonna raise these babies. So whatever the fuck you said, you get 24 hours and if you've ruined the eggs in any way, I will destroy all of you. And I will ask her to help, even if I have to let her in her nature come out to destroy you. And if you've de-literified them,

whatever the fuck that means, it's good. And bye. You were great in rear window, by the way. Thank you so much. People mostly remember me from Pleasantville. Face. And that show where I was a shitty cop, can you imagine? And then the two of them are gonna fly away.

You see them land. On the banquet. On top of Mount Dukes, where the adventure towards the nest had gone. And they're far enough away, you can't really tell what's happening, but they're sort of like, you know, maybe, you know, if you want again, for some reason to stay the dragon,

but then you can, but now you all know you have 24 hours to delitrify these eggs. So can we do that or was that just bullshit? Who said we could do that? Was it me? I say we just stop Just stop I will say what I'm doing And I will say Ken is the only one who can tell you how possible it is That's what that is what he's he's sort of doing it. Yeah I'm sorry. Yeah, trying to do you want to like can you leave one try to hit a pause button?

So you can have a conversation with everybody? Sure. Do an Arcana check. All right. I will. You do not want to botch this. Do not. 18.

Great, you can pause it. Yeah. If you had rolled low, like if you'd single digit that one, I mean, real, the staff would explode. So, yeah, you kind rolled low, like if you'd single digit that one, I mean, real staff would explode. So, um, yeah, you kind of like, like brace yourself and manage to contain all of these souls inside the staff and do an insight check. It's a stop peeing vibe.

This is going to determine how much you can really relate to everybody else. And it looks like 19 really good. So, okay. Here's what you can, um, build plans around and you can really relate to everybody else. And it looks like you're really good. So, okay, here's what you can build plans around and you can all pretend Ken is saying this, but I'm gonna have to tell you the staff is like basically unusable now, unless you can think of something to do with all these souls. That is different. Like right. Right.

It casts a soul cage and that custom stuff, but it's got right now dozens of souls. You can't quite tell how many, the counting of it is impossible, but you think that between these five eggs, there's like, you know, well over like, uh, like four or 5,000 souls. And you're just kind of like trying to keep the staff from exploding. You think it's possible. You think the staff will be like a grenade with the pin out when you're done. When you pause it after getting all the souls out, it's going to be a matter of time before there is a devastating explosion. Is there any reason, this is for me to understand, but like.

I have one more thing I wanna say. Yeah. So that's gonna happen. But did we, before you say, cause I do wanna, I don't want something to be. You want me to change what I'm gonna say, I understand. No, no, no, but just like, did we understand that there's no way to just,

he's not just releasing missiles, they have to go inside the staff? Or was that our understanding? He understands that's the only thing he can really do. That's all I need to know. I can put him in something else. So that's right, right. And so the other thing I was gonna say is,

I'm gonna, it'd be like a ticking clock. I would say like, you think you maybe have somewhere between 30 seconds and 30 minutes once you're done with this ritual, but it's going to explode if you don't improvise some other kind of shooting the souls into a mountain, shooting it in the glibbles, whatever. Five thousand souls. Now, in civil glibble,

what you can do for the next 24 hours, throw a party. I really like how weird this got. You guys have been really fun. I say we pull the remaining souls and try to get rid of the staff somehow. And then, yeah, but that's, I guess I still don't totally, can we, can he not just use it as like a funnel?

Like you can't just like funnel them out and shoot. He can't just be free. Yeah. And then just like a no. I mean, you think if he did that without like the ghost, he was just like sending them into the sky and hoping they will like go to the astral plane or something. I mean, what's your bonus to Arcana? I mean, it might be crit only basically. Yeah.

Crit only. You'd have to roll an Arcana check and roll a 20 or nothing. If you wanted to just release them and it's not going to be able to do something you do right now. We're talking about like, he's going to need to spend, I was, then you would know you'd have to spend at least another eight hours trying to suck the souls out. And that would have to be a separate good roll. But once you're done, you would have to roll a crit

to just send them into the sky. Right. I would give you a lower DC. Why don't we split them in clip-ons? I was being funny, but that'd be hilarious. I want to ask the, I want to ask the, let that'd be hilarious. I want to ask the old man. Let's ask the old man. They often, our elders have wisdom.

And let's ask him if he knows where we should shoot 5,000 souls. Yeah. Maybe there's like in town, there's some giant gemstone that we don't know about that he'd be like, oh, put them in here. How about that pet cemetery? Um, I saw 5, thousand souls open for mission UK. So you ask him this question and he kind of looks up and to himself and he says oh well I'll tell you what all I know she can't trust a monster, right? You gotta kill a monster. And these fucking things, if you kill them, good. I'd love to help you kill them, but these things also need to die.

These souls, fuck them. Whatever you do with these souls, you gotta put them in something, kill it. That's what I say. Don't put them in nothing that's gonna fly around and it'll fuck ya. Put them in something you're gonna kill if. Don't put them in nothing. It's gonna fly around and it'll fuck you. Put them in something you're gonna kill if you're gonna put them in somebody. Put the souls into glut. Let's put them in this guy.

But it gives you power, right? You don't want to make her more powerful. You would, I think, instinctively know if you put them into glut, she would become terrifying. What if we put them into a... They would go buy a Dracolich statue. Put them in this old grouch. We'd do the same thing with Glibbles, too. No, don't put them in a person. If you put them in a Glybils,

something really fucked up would happen. What if we put them into like a vegan sausage or something? But you know, like just something inanimate. I would say you would. I can give you it wouldn't be good, but do it. Do a insight check. Pish posh, just Pish Posh. By the way, I only said that because of the equaler.

So fuck. I mean, all you really know is there's probably gonna be an explosion if you put it in an inanimate little thing that's not powerful or has some kind of magical safety to it. Fill up the thing with the souls and then throw it in the eggs and run for our lives. How? Amy, I know what I destroy the staff, but then doesn't that mean the guys coming to the dragon side? Yeah, that's where the, that's where the running away comes.

You absolutely could do that. Can we pull out? That's like a no brainer for sure. He would just have to make the arcana check to concentrate and get them all on the staff and you'd all have to make a runaway check or teleporter, some shit. them all on the staff and you'd have to make a runaway check or teleport or some shit. Or I'm gonna uh or maybe fill up the thing and how long would it take me to fly to where they are as a dragon? Um oh that's a great question. I'm gonna adopt the only a couple minutes. There's a chance that you wouldn't make it, that you would explode midair

because you don't know how long the ticking bomb is gonna, it's impossible to know. I guess I did get sort of tricked. It's that nurturing side of me into thinking, you know, now he just found out he's a father, you know, it touches the heart. So, and then I was like, oh, we should try to save the eggs,

but I guess we do want to murder them, right? You could, you could try to save, but I would say none of you would know. Maybe I'll let Pish Posh do a role if he wants to, but none of you would know that there's any salvaging the lives that were originally in these eggs. They may have already been warped beyond any saving. But the mom did it.

Why don't we make her undo it? We should have said that already. Yeah. Well, the dragon is now with the staff. But the topaz dragon controls her. And he's a good guy. So he can get her to do it. Yeah.

He's a neutral guy. What do we think? What do we think? I think we'd wait till he comes back and we say we couldn't do it, but you can with her. You can make her do it. As a staff. But can she? I feel like that's not even.

But she did it on the, she should be able to do it. She shoved those souls in she? I feel like that's not even- But she did it on the, she should be able to do it. She shoved those souls in there, but I don't know if she can- Do you think that you can- You don't know that she could undo it, and also I would say that you're like 100% sure that if she got unwammy'd, she would just start attacking.

Right. So we don't know that we can take out 4,999 souls and like leave the one OG in there. Six. Or whatever, yeah, exactly. So this feels like a fool's errand, 4,999 souls and like leave the one OG in there. Or exactly. So this feels like a fool's errand, but we should probably just keep going and try our best. And then if it, when it doesn't work,

we just point it right at the pegs and then. I mean, Pish Posh is going to do a connect with the egg spell that'll determine how long it takes. And then he's going to do a disconnect and contain roll. Those are both me arcana checks. Could I grab the staff and dimension door over to them and just drop it off? How far can dimension door go?

Where I can see? Anywhere you've been. Where I can see it. Yeah, because I can see where they are, right? Yes. But doesn't it give them power though to transfer the souls? We don't. What do you mean? No, not if it explodes. If it explodes. If it explodes, it could just eradicate it.

Can you cast Dimension Door more than once? No. So it would be a one way trip. It would be one way. Well, I could Dimension Door over there, drop it and then just fly away. You could take the card, one of the cards, right? No, because I need three. I think, aren't you attuned to them? I forget.

The cards? Yeah. So you would have to also attune to the cards. You'd have to, unattune to the cards and you'd have to make a successful Arcana check to attune to them, which I'm only willing you do once per day. But also, you all see the sun setting, by the way. The sun is setting across the mountains to the west, and you're like, okay, well, we're, you know,

allowed to keep making plans, but if we- Well, why don't you, I guess you can suck up the souls while the rest of us discuss. Roll an arcana check if you want to reconnect to the eggs with the staff. Oh, boy. Dallytail, what do you think we should do with these souls? I'm still sitting over the top of the tree really far away,

just like, ooh, a minute, boo. 13. You struggle, you don't, the staff doesn't explode, but you can't quite connect and you feel like you need to rest for a couple of hours before you can try it. Jesus. That sucks. So we're trying to do, like, the happy ending is, that sucks. So we're trying to do like the happy ending is eggs saved.

That's what we're shooting for, right? But it is. That's kind of crazy, right? Because even if we save it, it's silly. It's definitely not an ending I expected you to go for. Because even if we save it, it's silly. But at least we made an effort. We each get a baby dragon.

We each get a baby dragon. I feel like this is my like role playing instinct, always to just talk to people and then just, but is this crazy? You could absolutely just do a bunch of like persuasion checks and get the craziest any, but they're going to have to be some amazing checks. Yeah. It just feels a little, yeah. I think we tell Fernswag when we tried to do it and you know, hope for the best.

That we tried, we actually tried. Or you could blow them up, which was Glep's idea. Right. You could just take the staff to them and just nuke them. Yeah. But would we not want him to leave with them if they're still infected? No. Right.

If they're liches and she's still evil, then we don't. Here's what you know. They're ready to hatch. When you take the souls out of them, they might hatch. And if Glut is unwammy, she can hatch them herself. But you also don't know if what's in them will be alive or if they'll just be dead eggs when the souls are completely dead.

Did we talk about getting the Topaz dragon to get Glut to remove the spell? Yeah, cause she can't do it. You think there'd be a very low chance. Yeah. You think that you might be able to persuade him to try, and I might let you make the role of him trying, but it would be very difficult. Should I go over and talk to him as a big dragon? Maybe.

Maybe dragon. No, you could. I mean, you can certainly, he could use the staff. But even if she can do it, like she has no motivation to do it. It feels really unlikely that you could... Once she's allowed to behave on her own. I might not even like make it possible. I don't want to reveal it, but I think you would all instinctively be like, if this is

worse than when you tried to convince the quaggots you slaughtered to death that it should do you a cute little favor. It's not going to co- she's not going to cooperate. I mean, it does feel like then why not try, there's no downside to continuing to try to suck up the souls. It's just a matter of what we're gonna do once that's done. Oh my dice. Right.

You do think if you could successfully get rid of the souls and the staff, you might be able to talk for all nuts into just like leaving with the eggs, if they don't hatch. That would be difficult because you don't know that the eggs are gonna look great and you don't know if you're going to be able to do the spell. I believe in us. And also he knows they're corrupted right? We just told him. You told him but he didn't understand. You don't get the impression that Glutt really

conveyed helpful information to him about what was going on with the eggs except they existed. So your whole talk about liches you don't think he were he you don't think he didn't understand the gravity of it but you think that you just tell them everything is cool and to go? They're perfect. Because we don't want these. We don't want to hatch. But if they hatch, then they're going to be. He can't handle them.

They will be demons that maybe could kill both of them. Even. Yeah. These will be these. This will be a boss fight if you don't successfully hatch them. Their demon figurines will appear. Is there a way to convince him that we had to destroy them because they were corrupted? Yeah, it will be a hard role, but I think that's a possibility.

I think we should just keep trying to get the souls in. Let's do it. And then, yes, and then, you know, we'll... For it to be like a truly happy ending, you think is going to be difficult because it might be impossible for there to be happy little dragons in these. But you might be able to be difficult because it might be impossible for there to be happy little dragons in these. But you might be able to convince them to leave with shitty eggs if you're lucky.

So would you like to try and connect? And shitty demonless eggs, right? Is that my roles? Inspiration or is it? No, it's a one time. The inspiration token is like a one timer. But if we convinced them to leave with their bad eggs, but we would have sucked all the demons out of them, right? Sometimes you say a sentence in this game and it's just like, what the hell am I doing? Every game, yes.

I'm in my 40s, this is insane. All right. I mean, you think... You're the young one. It's very unlikely that you could convince him everything's fine without a deception. That's your actor feat. Yeah, it could be done. But like they can't do harm then because there's no actual glitches. He would have to successfully, and there's a chance that because he's missed a chance and he had to rest, he might still

be casting this spell when he comes back. All right. Well, let's do it. Right. Right. Yeah. We're trying. You know, it's not like we're being deceptive.

If we're being deceptive, we'd be outshed. You're all sort of starting to make camp for the night. Some of you are either going to need to sleep or you're going to want to stay up through the night and get levels of exhaustion. But I would say Glibbles is rolling out his bedroll because he's hoping he only has to take a shift of watch and not be up the whole night you're gonna try to connect again pish-pash after a couple of hours we're gonna basically go from you've been

talking from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. now. Can you roll another arcana check to try to connect? Oh boy. 13. Once again, you try to connect and are unable to. You feel exhausted, maybe not till midnight before you can try to connect again. I'm just gonna get some rest because my polymorph ended. Okay, so you've returned to blep size.

Who's taking first watch? It's 10 to it's 10.05. I'm trying to remember if I don't know where to find it on this. If I only have to do the four hours or not as a half-elves or no? Oh that's a good question. I can't remember. It's a quick Google. Do half-elves... I mean I have my character so I just can't tell where it is on here. I normally have the paper one. How long do half-elves sleep? D&D. Yeah, it should be on your sheet, right? Yeah, I just... It's not something that you look up often, so it might be like buried on the last page. It's on my... I know exactly where it is on my main sheet, but I don't...

Alright, anyways, other people talk. 4 to 6 hours each night, Sarah. 4 to 6 hours each night. 46 hours? 4 to 6 hours each night, Sarah. 4 to 6 hours each night. 46 hours? 4 to 6. 426 hours. Yup, that's what I said. Okay, so I will take the first watch and then rest for the second. The old man's already sleeping. He's got a Super Mario bubble coming in and out of his nose.

Glyphil is like, You want me to see your bubble for a minute? I'll see your purple watch. No, that's okay. Get some rest. Good night. Is anyone else going to accompany Bricks? Yeah, I said I would. Okay. So you two roll perception check while everyone else sleeps.

I'm gonna, I'm on some laundry. How long did it take you to find a little spot that you were happy with You know what I moved a couple of times but I found the clean laundry and I'm sleeping. Oh good laundry Real about that black sweatshirt. Yeah, perfect All right, low perception Sir, oh, sorry All right. Low perception. Sarah. Oh sorry. Sarah doesn't feel like rolling. No I did, I already rolled. You just lost her was. Is it in the game log? Yeah. 14. It is eerily quiet, definitely quiet. You cannot make out the two dragons on top of Mountain Dukes

from this distance. There is not enough moonlight. There's no glimmers off of the gem dragons. The two of them are basically out of view this late at night. They're probably doing it. Fly United. Hopefully not, or it'll be like an uncomfortable latter season of the TV show Legion. But you can roll again to try to connect again, Pish Posh. You got this buddy. Yeah, there we go. Beautiful. So, I mean, I think you would, as you were about to-

Is this my third quick time? Oh, I think half health, I need the full eight. So I'm gonna be- Oh, okay. I misread world and- I could be wrong, but delicious. Apologies listeners, if I'm wrong. We're about to

wrap this up so you've got time to confirm this but you yeah after a moment of going well if I can't connect this time we could be well and truly fucked you concentrate and very successfully connect with the magic and managed to stand you to see Pish Posh his eyes roll back in his heads and the there's these tendrils extending from the staff and connecting to the five eggs and we'll but series all of that blame half LC eight hours okay curse you website that I took to be canon but I mean you can take a watch shift anyway it's not a big deal. And we'll get to next watch and the odds of success on our next episode of Nerdpoker

will most certainly these 24 hours shall end and perhaps this campaign. Yay. I will say it'll either be next episode, you roll a couple of persuasion checks and we have the weirdest great ending ever, or we begin combat that could last for several sessions. So it'll be interesting. Sam, what do you think has happened? Episode 28. Episode 28, the dragons are talking to each other and we're looking for a place to stash

5,000 souls. Accurate. Oh, I could stash 5,000 souls and I could stash 5,000 more just to be the... Anything Dan? Nope. Alright. It's just me. Out on the road. If only there was a song about being on the road no one has anybody written anything like that

I've got I've got a Florida coming up and always now while I'm promoting my comic books Check my social media because most cities I'm also doing comic book signings. This week in Sacramento I've got one at Big Brother Comics but that all just happened but I know I'm gonna be doing something in Tampa and I think I'm doing a signing in Orlando too so check BrianPasin.com and come have me sign your issue of grommets or rifters or both or any of the other shit I did. Deadpool, I'll sign Devil's Rejects posters of me getting shot in the face.

Or pictures. They didn't make a poster. But you know what I mean. I was just going to say that they maybe shouldn't make that poster. It's a little intense. But that's it. The name. But you know what I mean. I was gonna say that they maybe shouldn't make that poster. Yeah. A little intense. But then, that's it. The name.

We attribute the success to Saved Man Colleen from the Dead. Thanks for joining us on this epi- You got walls and a roof? Well- On the next Nerdpoker. Ken Freaky Fridays with Dave, while Chris Freaky Thursdays with Buster. Ken Sam Freaky Wednesday with Rick James in time to save P.F. Changs. All this and Brian Freaky Mondays with... his balls?

On the next NerdPoker! Thanks for listening to another episode of Nerd Poker. You can follow us at patreon.com slash nerd poker and you get bonus episodes from there and you can also send us anything at P.O. Box 16069 and Sino California 91416. Thanks for listening. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Let's do it again. No. Yes. For my brazour, I refuse. Oh, good. Oh, no. Why so much eye contact?

What the hell was that? It's like you slated a cup. Sexy.