Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - 2 Fast 2 Furious (w/ Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell)
Episode Date: August 3, 2021Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell (Doughboys) join Nicole and Gabrus to discuss the second film in the Fast & Furious Franchise—2 Fast 2 Furious (2003).Follow Nick (Twitter) and Mike (Instag...ram, Twitter) and check out Doughboys on Headgum.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
All right, all right, all right, fire them up!
It's time, it's time for the weak to go home!
Keep your eyes on the road, cowboy.
You nervous?
He did the stare and drive on you, didn't he?
He got that from me.
What's his deal?
I got a problem with authority.
You just need to chill out.
You ready for this?
Come on, man.
Guns, murderers, and crooked cops?
I was made for this, bro. 🎵 Ooh, wow! Welcome to Newcomers!
Okay, so I'm Nicole Byer. My co-host right now is John Gabrus.
Because Lauren has to sit this season out because she's got things on her plate.
She's got busyness, as we called it in episode one,
out of fear of like, is she talking about it yet?
So we'll just say she's super busy.
Well, you don't want to scoop a newborn, you know?
No, no.
That's her news to tell people she made a whole human being.
Yeah, that's all her party, man.
That's not our party.
Because I'm not doing that shit over here.
I need to be available to co-host newcomers.
Because you're covering a series of movies that are my favorites.
Ooh, baby.
We're covering the Fast and the Furious franchise.
And we're going to have guests that will sometimes be the newcomer.
Sometimes I'll be the newcomer.
So I gaslit myself.
I realized this watching Too Fast, Too Furious.
Never once have I laid eyes on this movie.
I thought I watched the whole series.
Last week, you were confidently telling me
that I think I've seen almost all of them.
Maybe I missed the Tokyo one.
And then text me one minute into this movie going,
I've never seen this movie.
Never, never once in my life.
It was so wild.
So, okay, this is the second episode of the fourth season.
There are 10 episodes.
We're going to cover all nine movies along with Hobbs and Shaw, which I have seen.
And today we're talking about Too Fast, Too Furious, released in 2003.
And it's available on DVD, a subscription to HBO Max.
You can watch it on Amazon,
Apple TV,
Google Play,
or Vodoo for some money.
There's going to be fucking spoilers
because we're talking about a movie.
Yeah, we're talking about a movie
that is old.
If you're listening to a podcast
about a movie,
you should just understand
that it's going to get spoiled
at this point.
Don't click,
if you're watching,
if you're listening to a podcast
about fucking McDonald's fries and these
motherfuckers spoil the end of tomorrow war or some shit like that,
then you could be mad.
I don't know what hypothetical podcast I'd even be talking about in that
moment.
I mean,
what a great segue because our guest today host a hypothetical podcast.
Just like that.
It's Nick Weiger,
Mike Mitchell. Weiger is a comedian, writer, producers written for at just like that. It's Nick Weiger, Mike Mitchell.
Weiger's a comedian, writer, producer.
He's written for At Midnight, I Love You America,
and co-hosts the podcast How Did This Get Played?
Mike Mitchell, ooh, Mitchie Mitch Mitch,
is a comedian, writer, and actor who's appeared in Love,
and most recently, the blockbuster movie
that he is the lone star of, The Tomorrow War.
Together, they come together,
they eat,
and they have a funny podcast
called Doughboys.
Welcome, Weiger and Mitchie, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch.
Thank you for having us.
We're very excited to be here.
What a treat.
Were you doing a Nick Weiger impression there?
Hey, how you doing?
I'm happy to be here.
Thank you.
Very excited.
I'm excited.
Thank you.
Too charismatic.
You can't say that a movie is old anymore because the movie old, it doesn't count anymore,
Gabriel.
So you have to say a movie is dated.
Oh, yeah.
If you say that movie is old, people go, I know.
I saw the M. Night Shyamalan movie old.
It's like, no, I'm saying the movie is old.
Yes, I saw the M. Night Shyamalan movie.
It's a who's on first that lasts one line.
But what is that movie about?
Is it about a white person who went to the
beach too long and they got fried up
and became a skeleton? What is it about?
It's about stolen DVD
players, which is
kind of weird that that's
There is a
guy named Midsize Sedan in it. There is a guy named Midsize Sedan in it.
There's a rapper named Midsize Sedan.
Okay, well, now we technically are spoiling a new movie.
That is true that there is a rapper named Midsize Sedan.
He introduced it.
There's a point where the woman goes,
I think that's Midsize Sedan,
which is such a funny rap name.
That is very funny.
And is it for comedic effect or is it said very seriously?
Not sure.
It's hard to tell with M. Night.
He kind of walks the line there a little bit.
By the way, how ironic is it that Lapkus isn't here because of family when you're doing this
series all about family?
I mean, you've talked about this, right? Yes. doing this a series all about family i mean you've talked about this right yes it's it's a it's a movie series about family yeah all right just making
sure about it all right good good well the real crazy thing is that labkus like vin diesel may
have been around for the founding of the newcomers podcast but they are out and in this they bring in two fresh face young people like you two one handsome and then one uh
comic relief in roman i'll put the quotes around comic relief there for my man roman who
is the best comic relief throughout all the movies but again that is not a huge trophy to hold on to. Also, a hunk himself.
Roman is a baby boy.
He's so hot.
But it gave the movie just a different feel than the first one.
I was like, this is like a buddy comedy now,
as opposed to like a gritty.
I mean, I truly think the first one is an indie.
I think it's a gritty indie that's like grainily shot
in the streets of LA and this is like
boop boop boop boop boop we in Florida now
where the players play and the
water's cold I don't know I was trying to
it really is a solid
where the water's cold
famously bien vendidos
ami ami
hace frio
this movie This movie is a classic sequel in that it's like, okay, how about the cars are brighter and the background is brighter?
And things, it is truly like a heightened movie.
It just doesn't follow the same.
It forces the same plot on the movies where it makes way less sense.
It's like, you're not a cop or undercover or a criminal.
And it's like, okay.
Yeah, if you're a real improv nerd,
it's as if someone else stepped out to do your second beat
and you have to watch on the back line going,
hurrah, I had a good idea.
Oh, I know that feeling all too well.
I've never been on the back line during an improv show.
I think it was a good decision to have Tyrese not be just like another version of Vin Diesel,
because that would have been like the obvious thing of just like,
OK, we'll bring in another sort of, you know, tough, kind of stoic, like badass.
And we'll be like, this guy looks like a badass, but he's kind of a goofball.
And then that later creates room for the two of them to coexist.
Because I think if you just try to out Vin Diesel Vin Diesel,
it's just going to be like, well, I just want Vin Diesel.
Sure.
Yeah, I think letting Tyrese bring his own thing to the table is,
I think it's the best thing about this movie, honestly.
Yeah, and Tyrese is great in this movie,
and he's not the fully realized Roman character that we see.
No.
Right.
Because he changes so
frequently from the movies he's a scaredy cat
sometimes a total badass sometimes
and then when well
you'll know learn this like when we get to
nine he's also sometimes a
meta commentator on the
yes making of films
is he always hungry though
that seems like an application always carries over
he stayed hungry you gotta? He stayed hungry. That seems like an affectation that always carries over. He stayed hungry.
You gotta stay hungry.
I love that they explained why he eats so much.
It seemed like these just started rolling,
and they didn't call cut,
and then he was literally like,
why are you eating in every scene?
He was like, oh, it was part of my character?
I went to jail, and the food wasn't good there. And I was like oh it was part of my characters i went to jail and the food wasn't
good there okay cool it's a it's a fun character trait that i haven't seen in a movie before like
i relish in food because i went without it for so long but yeah at this but at the same time it's
he steals a fucking cigar cutter from a dude's pocket. He is so much more wild in this than he,
this is, I mean,
this is a huge movie in the Fast and Furious franchise
for Ludacris and Roman,
who's Tyrese, and Tyrese.
They're a huge part of this franchise.
Yes, and I didn't realize that.
I didn't realize,
because I was just like oh they're
side characters because i truly have seen the first one and like the seventh one so i was like
oh they were just added in peppered in little sprinkles i was like no tyrese was like a huge
character yeah i'd be so mad to be like oh so vin's back and now i have to take a fucking back
seat squeeze me he's not
mad because of that cash by the way i that because he's made millions and millions of dollars just
being a goofball but but vin diesel he was offered 25 million dollars to return for this movie
and he were in and he said so i read a bit i read a bit about it and uh after he read the
you did research? I did.
This is more than you've ever done for your own book.
This is thrilling.
He decided to appear
in the Chronicles of Riddick instead
which by the way
is a sequel to
Pitch Black.
Pitch Black. Thank you. Which also
stars the villain of this
movie.
Cole Hauser.
Cole Hauser.
And I'm a Cole Hauser fan, even though I'm kind of not sure of what his character is.
We'll get to that later. Yeah, we'll get to Cole Hauser, who I think is doing Latino face.
I think he's supposed to be Latino.
Yes, I was very confused by that.
I was like, you're definitely a white man.
Yeah, you're definitely like an Irish white man, like a real, like a redhead with his hair dyed black.
Yeah.
So Tyrese does an impression of him at one point, and it's like in a Latino accent.
I'm like, what?
Yeah, it's very confusing.
His name is Varone.
Just cast a Cuban actor.
I mean, just put a Cuban person, a cuban american a oh this is 2003 baby
yeah i didn't get the memo yet he was offered 25 million dollars and he said that he this is
what he said he said they didn't take a francis ford coppola approach to it they approached it
like they did the sequels in the 80s and 90s when they
would drum up a new story unrelated for the
most part and slap the same name on it.
But he's kind of right there.
I like that. It's principled.
I kind of like it and I also think at the same time
he should have done it. I mean, who cares about Chronicles
of Reign? But I like where his head's at
for sure. I will say that
the uniqueness of Vin Diesel
is a big part. I'm sure you'll talk about
this the over the arc of the series uh of the season of newcomers but it's like the the uniqueness
of vin diesel as a movie star and as kind of like an eccentric is part of what makes this whole
thing works that he would walk away and later come back lets them build this gigantic expanded
universe before anyone was building expanded universes it's like inadvertent like well now we've got Tyrese and uh and Ludacris in here and we got to figure out how
to make everyone work all together so I I don't know it's it's kind of inadvertently to its benefit
but he's right that part two is and and I think kind of the series in general until they they
eventually it eventually hits its stride and I'm far from an expert on the Fast and Furiouses but
it's like kind of mercenary right it's It's like Singleton comes in, the screenwriters come in for part two,
and they have no other participation in the franchise beyond this one entry.
It's like this is just kind of a one-off for them.
Yeah.
Well, I think Singleton was a great, he's a great choice for,
well, I got to say this too, besides those two new characters,
this also kind of introduces the element of,
hey, now we're in Florida.
Like this is now, like Fast and the Furious
is a travel franchise.
We're going to go all over the place.
We're going to go, this is going to span worlds
and you're going to see a lot of different locales.
But Singleton is just good because we were talking
about this before the pod started,
but he's, first of all, for bringing Tyrese in.
But then also, I think he just kind of gets the vibe of what the movies are supposed to be a little bit.
And, you know, he did Baby Boy and he gets what he gets, what people love about these movies.
I feel like I feel like this movie, though, at the time, though, like this is the first sequel.
Like it's not like this was an existing franchise.
Sure. No, but I loved he loved the he was a big fan of the first man of the first sequel. Like it's not like this was an existing franchise. Sure. No, but he loved he loved the he was a big fan of the first
fan of the first one.
Yeah.
And he gets like racing.
He gets like street racing culture.
That's what he said.
And like urban culture.
I mean, he did boys.
The fact that Singleton is blessing the Fast and the Furious
franchise, like after the first movies directed by that guy
who's kind of, you know, and also ran like, you know, mercenary
director Rob Cohen, whose name is Casey. And now this one's fucking directed by that guy who's kind of you know and also ran like uh you know mercenary director it was rob cohen whose name is casey and now this one's fucking directed by singleton
that's a huge plus up boys yeah and baby boy which we were talking we were talking about baby boy
before the before the before the show started i mean we're talking boys in the hood poetic justice
higher learning like all the movies that i was watching in junior high like that these were like the cool
movies and he directed all of them and then comes and i don't know any of this when i go to see too
fast in the theaters i'm just think i'm going to see i don't even know fully because back then you
wouldn't even know that vin wasn't attached and you go see it and you're like this is crazy this
is a and then they will do this to us several more times where you're like,
this isn't a sequel to the previous movie,
but it's fun and has some of the similar vibes and some of the same
characters.
So I'm fucking here for it.
It was like kind of,
it kind of like hooked in.
Cause Brian was like a fired LAPD officer who then went to Florida to,
to draw,
like,
why did his car,
why was his car like an English car?
It was on the wrong.
He was driving like a British street racing car.
I was like,
what is,
what is happening?
This is so wild.
Also,
I was like,
is this movie,
is it like brought to you by Mitsubishi because they had a Mitsubishi
eclipse and a Mitsubishi Lancer.
I think it's an evolution.
No,
I don't remember.
But yeah, it was two Mitsubishis. I was like, what like what's going on well it's also brought to you by pepsi too when homeboy goes directly into a pepsi billboard that doesn't get damaged at all
like everything is crashing and burning around it but it's like pepsi drink it please are you Please. Are you talking about the dude from Barbershop? Yes. Yeah.
I feel like the aesthetic of this movie is just like it feels very 2000.
I was a sophomore in college or going into my junior year.
It feels very 2003.
Dude, the universal logo that it opens, the universal logo transition that it does, like it becomes like a tire.
I loved it. It's the most early aughts shit of all time. opens the universal logo transition that it does, like, and becomes like a tire.
It's the most early aughts shit of all time.
Well,
and also kind of the, the fight club inspired.
We're going to go inside something with a CG sort of sequence where they go
inside the engines.
I was about to say the same.
This PlayStation two era,
like cut scene level of CG.
It like looks so shitty in 2021.
And also who wants to see the inside of like,
not even like,
you don't even see the engine.
You see like the inside of like the circuit board.
You see like.
Everyone's favorite part.
Whenever you watch Formula One racing,
there's always a little thing in the corner.
That's a zoomed in X-ray of the circuits working.
Cause that's what people really want to see when cars are driving fast.
I'm holding a barbecue lighter. I love it i love it it's uh i feel like that's how you're
dictating wait did all three of you see it in theaters no i did i did i did not i did not see
it in theaters no i did then i remember going to see it at school i think i was in college
gabrus i know your history with the franchise,
but Mitch and Weiger,
when did you guys get involved?
I mean, I really probably
wasn't even paying attention
to the Fast and Furious franchise
all that much until Fast Five.
And then Fast Five,
everyone was just like,
you got to see this
is an awesome action movie.
And it is just like
an awesome action movie
that stands on its own.
And then I watched
some of the rest of the franchise
after that.
But like,
I've,
I it's,
it's all like little chunks.
Like I have not seen all nine movies.
This is one of them.
And then I rewatched it for this podcast,
but this is one of the ones I'd seen.
But I like,
I don't,
here's my,
here's my take on the fast and furious movies.
I think it's,
I,
Natalie,
my lovely wife is a huge fan,
loves these movies.
Like could not love them more.
Like, saw, like, Fast 9, she saw opening day, and she was like, I don't care if you can't come with me.
I'm going.
Like, she's that level of fan.
I feel like she gives you that line a lot.
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much for dinners, et cetera.
Natalie, every time I learn something new about her, I say in my head, why am i friends with nick when i could be friends
with madeline so so she loves the movies and for me like i'm in these big this big action genre
of the moment i'm more in the mission impossible camp like i love the mission impossible so much
and i think part of it is that you don't need to be in a different camp for god's i'm just but i'm
saying like in terms of my fandom like like those are the movies I love.
These movies like I can appreciate, but I can't latch on in some way.
And I think part of it is like every one of these movies is so cool.
Like the the equivalent, like who is the who am I supposed to latch on to here?
Who's the fucking there's no dorkwad here.
There's no like Simon Pegg character that could be like that would be my role on this team.
Like the hacker in the Fast and Furious franchise is ludicrous.
Yeah.
Chris, ludicrous bridges.
Yeah.
Spoiler alert.
Tej becomes the greatest.
Tej, the guy who just owns a mechanic shop in this movie,
is later on the biggest hacker in the world until he meets Ramsey,
who's also in the movies and is a bigger hacker in the world.
I mean,
humble beginnings from running a drag races and,
and jet ski races to being a hacker.
That's wild.
This,
this is also,
I think this is something that maybe Griffin Newman said,
but,
um,
it's,
or,
and why,
cause we talked about this.
It's the craziest franchise where Tyrese then becomes the comedic relief in Ludacris is the straight man like that
right when you when you like you see Ludacris you're like he's funny Ludacris is gonna be
funny he raps he's funny when he raps he's a funny guy and in the movie he's truly he's he
doesn't joke that much he's he's he's the abbot he is he's the abbot by the way yeah i i i the way i got into fast and furious is that for
my god for maybe my 30th birthday somewhere around there or or maybe it was actually i think it was
before that it was my first year living at in palmerston but um the apartment i live at and
i live with telling people where you live i think all the listeners
understand when this story takes place then if it's around when you first moved into your apartment
look i lived here with matt kowalik and for my birthday he bought me fast five on dvd and then
that's nice i had like seen the first one in theaters and thought and thought it was like
not great and so i was it was a blue it was actually a blu-ray of fast five and we watched
and i was like this fucking rules this is a great this is a great movie koalik who actually makes
an appearance in this movie we'll talk about it a little later on but um that's the nicest the rat
and the the rat in the bucket is what i'm talking about but um so your friend who got you a very
sweet birthday gift comparing to vermin and a person who none of us know no one has any context
now you are shit talking him on a different podcast
but uh i got i got i got the blu-ray of it and and and yeah i was i was i was hooked ever since
and also i love mission impossible but i love the fast and Furious franchise. It's just, it's a, it's. So you're in two camps.
I'm in two camps.
It's a movie that.
They, they, they keep, they, they keep, they keep reinventing.
It's, it's just, I think Vin Diesel is right that he does have a Francis Ford Coppola approach
to things.
They keep reinventing what these movies are.
They're incredible.
Five is the first one where he's a producer.
Five is the first one. Five is by far the best.
You were saying that, Gabriel. You were like
five is where it really takes off.
It's hard. I would say it takes
off because it takes off on the
backs of the previous four or
three of the four movies.
The four movies preceding it
do kind of, and I can't wait.
We're going to get to do this in live time
with you. They've kind of established all the characters and then five just shoehorns them all into the
same movie somehow everyone that we meet in all in these next four movies is in five so little
bow wow is gonna come back after three no see little bow wow bummer he turned he turned this
down and they were like well maybe there's another rapper another rapper. Oh, shit. How about Chris Ludacris?
You know, dude is a fucking megastar.
And Shad Moss is over on the side like, oh, fuck.
I should have just done one more of these.
It was Ja Rule, right?
Ja Rule.
Oh, Ja Rule.
Oh, yeah.
Ja Rule was in the first one.
And then Ludacris.
It was Ja Rule who turned it down.
Yeah, Ja Rule.
But Lil Bow Wow's in the third one? The third one.
Yeah. Lil Bow Wow was in three.
Ja Rule was offered
half a million dollars to do this
movie, and he said no.
This is nuts!
All these people getting thrown so much
cash, and they're like, no, I have
integrity. Bitch, give me half a million
dollars, and I'll suck a dick anywhere.
Here's
what Ja Rule was offered $500,000
for the role, which was more than what he had been
paid to appear in The Fast and the Furious.
$15,000.
So he got
offered $500,000.
According to Singleton, Ja got
too big for himself. He turned it down.
He turned down half a million dollars.
He was acting like he was too big to be in the sequel.
He was like, just you guys wait.
I'm going to bring you a festival.
Wait, was that Ja Rule?
Yeah.
Yes.
That's right.
He's like, I got to start planning for that festival.
To be fair, Ja Rule might have been too big at this.
Like literally at the one time they asked him about this to do this movie, he might have actually been too big briefly.
Like $500,000, there's probably a period in Ja Rule's life where it was like, wait, it's three months work.
No, thanks.
But I don't think Ja Rule foresaw the future.
I mean, he was like, we got to get people to an island and give them sliced bread.
is like we got to get people to an island and give them sliced bread well i'll say this much that like if he ate into like ludicrous or or tyrese's time i wouldn't want him there anyways
because tyrese is like we said a great actor uh and and and ludicrous is great in his role too so
i i sorry ja rule you you fucked up i mean maybe you'll get brought back in 10 or 11 or whatever,
but you fucked up big time.
I think you fucked up.
Real quick, let's not fuck up and take a break.
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We back.
Okay, so we have a little news segment called the Toretto Gazetto.
So Vin Diesel discusses Dwayne The Rock Johnson and friendship with Paul Rucker,
Paul Walker in recent cover story.
So in a men's health interview, Diesel discussed his friendship with Walker.
The pair used to play World of Warcraft on the Fast and Furious sets.
They played as a team against strangers out in the world.
What a treat.
And he was like, no one in the world knew they were playing against Dom and Brian.
That's my Vin Diesel.
Thank you.
That's very good.
Thank you so much.
Van Cleef run with Dom and Brian.
A dream come true.
I have no idea what World of Warcraft is.
Is that like Dungeons and Dragons?
It kind of is.
It's online.
Yeah, you play with other people.
Video games is one of the few things that I have.
And if at some point on the Silverhand server,
I was playing PvP and just getting absolutely shithoused
by Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, two fucking studs who are millionaires, overhand server i was playing pvp and just getting absolutely shithoused by paul walker and vin diesel
two fucking studs who are millionaires like i would just be like what am i doing like i can't
even have that guess what wags yeah you don't got shit you got nothing buddy
wow okay yeah wow wow wow it's Fair. Also, in our little newsletter,
he spoke about working with The Rock
and cited tough love.
He gave him acting advice on set.
When asked about the comments,
The Rock told The Hollywood Reporter,
I laughed and I laughed hard.
Wow!
He later said,
I wish them well on Fast 9
and I wish them the best of luck
on Fast 10 and Fast 11
and the rest of the Fast and the Furious movies they do.
Thou be without me.
Whoa.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I guess.
The Rock shouldn't be in these movies.
He's so important in Fast 5, but he doesn't.
You'll see.
He doesn't really.
He's like hat on hat in a way.
Right.
He's too skilled
And it feels weird
In my world
He wasn't in the first one
And then he's in the next one
And then that's it
I truly have missed so much in between
I can't believe it
Just give me the highlights of the last 20 years
Of these movies
Six and one. Got it.
I'm 100% team diesel in this, in the Rock vs. Diesel.
I mean, like, there's no.
Yeah, 100% team diesel.
I mean, Diesel is the reason that these movies work.
And the Rock tried to do his own thing.
Look, I don't want to spoil stuff for you,
but Hobbs and Shaw just doesn't hold up to the standard of other Fast and Furious movies.
It's missing something.
It's missing Vin Diesel.
I didn't mind Hobbs and Shaw, but also I've missed so many of Vin Diesel in the movies.
I was just like, ooh, fun.
Vin's just not here for this one.
So I was just like, ooh, fun.
Vin's just not here for this one.
I may have mentioned this on Star Wars Newcomers,
but I had a friend growing up who he had two Star Wars movies on VHS.
He had Star Wars, the original, A New Hope, and then Return of the Jedi.
So he was missing the middle installment.
And so it wasn't until he was a teenager that he found out that there was a middle movie spanning the gap between these.
It just went from the end of
Star Wars right to the start of Return of the Jedi
and he thought it was just a direct sequel
and it kind of works actually
if you think about what happens in it but
just like what like his mind was blown
and you were the sidekick to this
kid
I mean for Star Wars to me I don't know how anything's a sequel.
It's all fucking in the galaxy and shit.
I buy it.
I mean, I've seen all of them and I cannot tell you what happens in them
other than there's a lot of space and a man in a black helmet
who looks like bubble gum underneath.
Truly so wild.
So, okay, Too Fast, Too Furious
was written by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas.
Ooh, like an avocado.
Directed by John Singleton, released June 6, 2003.
I gotta say.
What a time.
It is truly a time capsule of the 2000s.
And it feels like a music video that was just like elongated into a movie.
That's what it is, Bayer.
It's very MTV music video-esque.
And in all the angles of it, in like the way they shoot the cars,
and the way they shoot the ladies, and way they shoot the speakers in the cars.
Like all you're right.
Oh,
buyer.
I did not.
Right.
It's very music video.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially when they're going fast and you see like the,
like the colors just kind of shaking behind their heads or whatever.
You're like,
what is this?
Why would I even think that this is fun to look at?
Sucks.
It sucks. It sucks in 2021 2021 it's kind of like this
looks a little when the two cut when they cut to two hoods and the noises are just like
and it's just like two digital images going back and forth i don't care about that and the
background is just like a tunnel blowing by like that stuff i didn't care for but blowing your fucking car through a boat
i mean that was wild when tyrese was like you gotta do it and he was like i'm gonna do it and
i was like he's gonna do it but small potatoes comparatively to where the franchise goes but
sure this is like this is like the big moment at the end of the movie and and and any other
and any other fast and the furious this is like a guy who just the end of the movie and, and, and any other, and any other fast and the furious,
this is like a guy who just goes off the road and goes into a boat.
Like,
I feel like,
like a side character fucks up and goes into a boat.
Like that's not the,
that's not the giant set piece at the end,
but this early on,
that is,
that's what you get.
Basically.
They also do the same stunt twice.
So in the drag race,
he jumps over the bridge and lands and everyone's like,
he's a hero.
And then they're like,
I guess we're going to do it again.
Yes.
Just on above.
Well,
they got to establish that he's capable of doing it.
Technically him.
And I forget the actor's name,
but Steve Aoki's sister,
Devin Aoki.
Devin Aoki.
Yeah.
Daughter of Rocky Aoki.
Founder of Benihana.
Hanna's.
The Wall Street guy.
Oh my god.
Anytime she wanted Benihana, she could
just go. That's right. Anytime.
And now anytime she wants
anything, she can have anything.
I guess so.
But Benihana, what a a dream they used women so poorly
in this movie they had ava mendez yeah who is a capable actress just as like a fucking set piece
as this like damsel in distress who i was like i think she's more than capable of like
fucking this dude up and then suki devon aoki didn't do anything but drive
around in a pink car that was very cool yeah they they like still didn't they didn't nail the team
thing in this i i do know that uh that uh oh god what's her what's her name the actress who you
just mentioned not even mendez even mendez even mendez she had a kid and she like quit acting so
i think that that's why she hasn't been any she like quit acting so I think that that's why
she hasn't been any of the sequels because I think that they maybe would have used her better
in some of the newer movies but you're right in this she's not she's not used great and yeah
the craziest thing about her as the character is that she would be undercover and dating varone in her cover but then cheating on varone with an undercover cop
like yes that is move she's terrible move there's no way that there's there's no mental justification
you could do for that with the exception of like she couldn't resist paul walker but in that case
paul walker should be like i'm not going to the fucking club with you
you're fake dating
the evil crime boss that we're
trying to shut down this could fuck us
he's not gonna be there I don't
care if he's not there be an
undercover cop for one more fucking
hour of the movie
but no it's a female character
so she is defined by the two men
she's involved with.
It reminds me, I mentioned the Mission Impossible franchise as well.
And the second entry of the Mission Impossible franchise is a similar issue.
Tandy Newton, who is the love interest in that movie, is basically like Eva Mendes,
like a great actor who has very little to do.
She just exists as like, I'm an undercover op who exists to be honeypotted with the uh you know with the with the antagonist and that's basically my and then i have a love triangle with the hero
with tom cruise that's my entire role in this movie so yeah it's a it's it's not it's not a
super fun role it seems like but as we know like i said it's her fault for not coming back for the
sequels but for for having a family and and and not going into the sequels. Wow, another person missing out
on La Familia because of
La Familia.
Can I just quickly say that
You cannot quickly say anything.
Hold on.
I'll get this out of my mouth both quickly.
Ludacris
saying I have a
surprise and then putting up the bridge is an
insane surprise.
What the fuck is that?
That is a bad, dangerous friend.
He almost killed all four of his friends.
Insane.
He knew all of them by name.
Orange Julius is the only one who was like, fuck this.
And he's the most right in that scenario.
His name is Orange Julius in the movie.
Yes.
Is it?
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, he's wearing all orange and driving orange.
Julius.
Yeah.
And his fans, I believe, are in orange.
I think there were some fans were wearing the color of the car situation in some of
this.
The whole like car fan thing is so wild that just like they're hyping him up.
They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like it's insane.
Yes, it's it's it's it's funny that John Singleton's like, I know that street racing culture because for me,
it feels completely unbelievable.
Like, I don't believe it.
No, it seems so.
It seems great.
If you're Paul Walker, you slam the brakes and you'd be like, hey, Tej, what the fuck
was that, man?
You invite me down to this fucking race telling me I can win some money and then you almost
fucking kill us all.
Jesus, dude.
What about Slapjack
and Orange Julius?
Also, it was a lot
of money to buy into that race. It was
$3,500 that people
just had in cash. Yeah.
Fucking Paul Walker walks away with $14,000.
Also, one thing
I love about this movie is the
opening scene is that drag race more or less this
one we're talking about right now but the lead up to it is brian racing to get there on time
and then after this race he has to race away from the cops also so like they he doesn't get to travel
normally to and from the drag race no he's just going too fast too furious exactly
which by the way i kind of like that the movie has a lot of racing that like that it is i feel
like the the balance like racing is basically it's kind of there in the later movies like they'll
they'll race it's still just cars it's just cars yeah yes but the racing part of it is kind of fun
it's kind of fun that you see some of the because this this is this is a aspect that is almost completely out of the movies now
right right fast night it doesn't exist i'll also say that you know this is a series that has a lot
of great titles but i think this might be the best overall title yeah too fast too furious is great
and you know for a time everyone was having fun with it. They were doing like the, oh,
Two Bucket, Two List, you know, like some
fake sequel, like Two whatever.
It was the
colon electric boogaloo
of their time. Exactly.
They were doing that in the mid-2000s for a bit.
Because that was like the go-to joke for a while,
Terminator 2 electric boogaloo.
Right.
But it is a great title and it kind of just sort of
establishes oh yeah it's not going to be fast and the furious colon whatever every time how
sequels are always kind of boringly titled it'll be whatever we'll have some fun with it yeah and
we'll we'll touch on it with each episode but the names really do vary wildly from from movie to
movie they really play with it yeah but for something that's based on two words.
Yeah, exactly.
One is just fast and furious.
Yep.
Right.
It's like you just took the the away.
Okay.
But okay.
They Facebooked it.
So yeah, they did.
It was the Facebook and then it became Facebook?
Yeah.
Sean Parker.
It's cleaner.
Oh, who's Sean Parker?
It's cooler than a million dollars?
A billion dollars.
He's Justin Timberlake. He's Justin Timberlake.
He's Justin Timberlake in the movie, in the social network.
Never seen it.
It's good.
I smell a newcomer.
Truly never seen it.
Newcomers.
Is there multiple?
Just the social network.
Documentary about Instagram.
Where it's 10 episodes of me just watching 10 minutes
so okay after he wins this race he's arrested he's taken into custody by his former boss
from la who now works in florida and we never address that and then he's like okay you're
gonna come undercover again and he's like okay let do it. I get to choose my own partner, which I thought was insane.
I was like, he no longer works for the Bureau.
Well, they also go to give him that total Chad too.
And he like fools him with the name of his own pizzeria
on the cup or whatever.
And you're like, yeah, that was so weird.
I was like, what?
Is Paul Walker's,
is Brian's character supposed to be so obviously with it
that they're like like give this man whatever
he wants that was so slick and then they go to the fucking demo derby to pick up ro that was
literally insane also in our like little synopsis he is an argentinian drug lord and yeah that man is white oh for sure he's very white yeah he was i mean he's he's he's
in goodwill hunting he's he's he plays a guy from southey and goodwill hunting he's uh look i'm a
i'm a cole i'm a cole hauser fan he his family he's from the he's a part of the warner's family
he's like he's like one of his great great grandfathers is like Harry Warner or whatever. Wow.
Warner Brothers. Oh. He's a good actor
but he's not Latino.
He sure is. No.
He's a redhead with freckles.
Yeah.
But you know what? As another white guy
I give this performance an A+. I think it's
fantastic.
That's what we need. More
white men approving of other white men doing brownface.
The three of us decided that's not racist.
Isn't it a kind of funny bit?
I do like the bit that Roman lives in a Winnebago because it's like a loophole for house arrest.
That's a really funny.
You could just go wherever you want with that argument but you is that real you can't do that you can't be
like a little winnebago so i just like pick up and move yeah it's right outside of uh the whorehouse
that happens to be my current gps i also love the fight they got in it was like literal just
nobody choreographed it they were like just roll around in the dirt
for a little bit
if I wanted to apply
very good filmmaking to that
be like you guys have been friends since you were
kids you've been scuffing
but it really it is just like
roll around we got the shot
and get as dirty as
possible for the next shot
so you're in?
They are so dirty.
And then this is fun.
And the fact that they get so dirty is important because in the next scene,
Brian Connor looks or whatever the fuck his name is.
Brian looks exactly like every white kid I went to eighth grade with.
He's got got long black shorts
and the long white Orange County
chopper shirt on, and you're like,
aren't you an adult man?
Why are you dressed like that?
It's so fucking comical.
And Tyrese is in overalls
with no shirt or some shit like that.
He looks
good shirtless.
Well, Brian looks great, too. I mean, they're both good-looking guys's he he looks good shirtless well brian is he brian looks great too i mean they're
both they're both good looking guys but he looks so 2003 ish to me he's just he's he's the perfect
example of 2003 and i don't want i don't want to speak ill of the dead and i won't because i think
that he's i think he's the reason that these this him and tyrese are the reason this movie works
because this movie kind of yes this is one of the weaker Fast and the Furious movies.
But those two that those two have.
And he's Paul Walker is just a lovable guy.
He's such a lovable hunk.
Right.
You can't you can't help but like the guy.
I think he's just such a lovable dude.
I mean, that's what it's supposed to be.
His thing is that gang like in the narrative of the movie like a gang would allow him in uh he could
be leader he could be a good cop bad he could do all this shit and you kind of have to believe that
most people like him and you see that like in him that like oh yeah it makes it arguably i know
it's railing against it but it makes sense eva mendez is like yeah i'll blow cover to blow you
dude let's go you know like it's. It's like he's so charismatic.
You just fall in love with him.
And then you're like, and him and Vin Diesel both sort of being so charismatic without actually putting anything out there personality-wise or something.
It's like they become these sort of blank molds that we project our like love and
worship onto and i think that lead that's part of the love of the franchise and that brian's
presence is felt even in the movies that have come out since he's passed like he's still a part of
the movies in some way it's so cool i'm crying all right we're back. Oh my God, that was so adorable and so sweet.
Nicole, you know that you knew that Paul Walker had died, right?
I guess that's not a movie thing.
That's a real life thing.
No, that's real life.
Yes.
Buyers sort of informed on real life.
Not fully.
Just a little.
I just know a little bit of things here and there.
Don't worry about me.
Just a few things, mister.
No, but I knew he passed away,
and I know that they used his brother to do some scenes,
and then they used CGI to use him in the car.
I think that's in...
Seven.
Seven.
Yes, because that's the next one I saw.
Fuck, the best ending.
It's a good ending.
It's awesome.
I'm getting teary- ending. It's a good ending. But back to Too Fast, Too Furious.
I'm getting teary-eyed. Let's get this.
That's five movies from now,
so hold on.
I was just thinking if Weiger passes away
and I gotta use your brother for our podcast
and how much
better it would be. It would be like a reverse
Paul Walker. He's too fun.
It wouldn't work. It would be great.
Wait, how old is your brother? He's too fun. It wouldn't work it would be great wait how old is your brother he's too fun
it wouldn't work my brother's my brother's four years older than me but my brother is just is like
alpha me he's just like he's like a cool charismatic version of me like everyone you know everyone
likes him and um he can hold a conversation he knows how to maintain eye contact it's it's it's
like attributes that i envy uh but
he like and mitch is hung out with him and mitch is like i like just i like him better and i'm just
like i know i get it wow wait is he married yeah he's married he got two kids great back to too
fast too furious too married two kids Call me when you're single, Mr. White
Older and cooler
I'm trying to think of a too bad for my
I was going to say two pussies
But I only have one
Again, I'm sorry for your loss
I know you used to have two
I used to have two and I lost one tragically in a car crash when I drove my car onto a boat.
Okay, so listen.
Two pussies.
God, I'd be doubly confused.
I wouldn't know what to do twice over.
Oh, no.
Welcome back to two pussies, a.k.a. doughboys.
Pussy's actually a very strong muscle motherfucker.
It is.
But this bad guy,
he makes them do like a test to drive for him.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Since when do bad guys do this?
Tyrese calls it an audition.
Which is funny.
That's an actual,
they're like,
just say test or something.
Why would these guys know about auditions?
Oh,
I guess he's from LA.
They know about auditions.
They grew up in Barstow.
Right.
So,
that's when he,
like,
punches the glass of the car,
and I was just like,
oh my God,
that's so fucking hot.
And then,
they get to the nightclub,
and then this is the rat thing,
which I like was this was
intense it's upsetting yeah the dude from last man on earth the guy who's in everything that
actor the great he's on uh sons of anarchy as oh that's right he does a shit ton on that he's so
good in so many things yeah uh and his name is i know this mark boone jr yes yes mark boone also with he plays a shitty he plays the corrupt
partner of um of then whatever his what then like lieutenant uh gordon in batman begins he plays
like his partner who's like crooked and batman interrogates him yeah he's got a great like sort
of slime ball vibe and also he's he's basically he's basically a Voltron if me and Gabrus come together
and we create him, basically.
That I get, because I haven't seen any of the
movies you guys referenced.
If me and Mitch combined,
we'd finally have enough testosterone
to be considered sleazy.
This part's crazy when
Eva Mendes puts her hands over his
mouth. I couldn't believe it.
She's in too deep. She's trying to fuck Paul Walker.
She's trying to kill this woman. But also she does it like
she wasn't sure if it was part of the stage
directions. He was like cover
his mouth and she's like oh
sure. Yes
I'll do that. But I'm an that undercover cop you see and the way she does
it she just puts like one hand over the other and i was like i don't know lady i went gagging with
something i don't know it just seems so unsure i i kind of bought it though because it's like okay
i have to go how deep am i gonna go it's like uh you know it remind me of sopranos where uh nicole you're
not gonna get this reference but uh when it remind me of sopranos when big pussy is undercover
and or he's he's like he's like you know he's ratting out the his friends and so there's a
part where where they whack somebody and big pussy's like well i have to show him part of
this but i'll wait till this guy's dead and then i'll shoot him you know it's like the same sort
of thing it's like i have to show that i'm kind of down, but I don't want to do anything too criminal.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I just heard big pussy and I was like,
I'm a character. I'm a surprise.
Yeah, you were like, Nicole, you're not going to
get this reference, but you're going to love it.
You're going to love the name of this character.
You're right. I did.
So they get the money. They're hired to love the name of this character. You're right. It is. So they get the money.
They're hired to work for this white man in brown face.
So, okay.
Let's skip the down.
What?
Let's skip ahead a little bit.
But we set up the rivalry here a little bit between them two and the two other guys who almost win the
drag race audition
to be hired, but then they do get
hired because they're actually undercover
for the bad guys as testers.
Whatever. They're cronies of Verone.
It's super complicated. It's very
complicated. It's too complicated.
They are granted way
too powerful of a role in this movie.
It was just like they're doing so much. I would do in this movie they're like they like it was just
like they're doing so much and i would do it too if you're trying to make them a south american gang
and you have cole hauser in the lead i say yeah focus on the other guys a little bit but you know
i i agree with you there's like a scene at the end and like those two like there's a big getaway
scene or whatever at the end and those two are like in the car. And I'm like, these guys are like still fucking around.
Like these two fucking dudes are here.
It's like any of the, it's any of like the detective scenes too in this movie where like
anytime we cut to a scene where they were talking to the cops, it was just slowed the
movie down so much.
You're like, we know he's undercover.
Just get us the fuck out of here.
There's no real stakes.
This is the sequel.
But if we
didn't have enrique and roberto we wouldn't get that cool scene where one of them gets ejected
like a cartoon character from the car that is ejector seat is so great and and there's just
the keys of like hey do you have any spare nitrous earlier and we don't know what it's for and then
we get the reveal it's so satisfying i love it i missed his his uh light touch on the joke is in case we got someone we don't want sitting there if you
know what and he's like too many eyebrows it's like paul drop it we got it we know you're selling
it way too hard i'm gonna sell it a little harder in this take i don't know how it's gonna be
sideways and one will be on the door also.
Because when we shot this scene.
If you were Tyrese, wouldn't you be like, what are you talking about?
What are you reading?
Bro, what's going on?
What?
You're going to eject someone?
If you're the other guy, you're definitely, if you're Jimmy, you're definitely going to be like, wait, what do you want me to do to do to the car man i got one follow-up you're not doing that i'm jimmy i'm the tech
explain yourself we have to take another break And we're back.
Okay, so there's a high-speed chase.
Just like it lasts for so long, and there are so many cop cars.
In a way where I was like, is all of Florida's police after them?
There's a lot of thrilling stuff happens here, because let's talk about this. All the police in Florida are after them. And then they go to. A lot of thrilling stuff happens here. Because let's talk about this.
All the police in Florida are after them.
Like Nicole is saying.
Literally just thousands of police cars.
And all of them just blowing it under pressure.
Every single cop is just losing control and crashing.
And then a lady flying the helicopter.
She was like, I'm Fanny.
Yes.
I'm the sassy cop watching. i'm the voyeuristic one also like why is this
like why did he need drivers to go to the house that he has to get money out of the wall
it's just such a confusing the guys who wrote this wrote 310 to yuma like they they wrote like
a movie that people really like. It's just so...
They wrote the 310 to Yuma remake.
Yes.
Sorry.
310 to Yuma remake.
Wow.
Gamers get them.
Which I do love, but it is not full credit.
I was going to say, that's kind of critically acclaimed.
It's a wonderfully scripted movie.
Yeah.
It's a great story.
It doesn't make any... I just don't get what's... of critically acclaimed but like wonderfully scripted movie yeah it's a great story it just
it doesn't make any i just don't get what's i don't get i don't get the whole plan of this one
i don't understand what the fuck is happening now you're talking about the i don't this is one of my
favorite things about some of these old movies is when you don't know the bad guy's plan or the good
guy's plan like neither of them makes sense and you're like i normally you're like i don't know
what the bad guy's doing but the good guy i think is gonna pretend to be a bad and sneak in
or i don't know what the good guy's up to but the bad guy is gonna drop a nuke and we can figure
that so the good guy but this is a movie where you're like i don't understand either plan and
then when it's revealed what the good guy's plan is that involves like all right tej i need you to
call in a favor you got
it bro what is it do you have a thousand friends that want to commit a felony yeah trash their cars
too yeah for you fuck yeah i mean it was so many people and then also i was like yes it's a garage
there's a wall in a wall it's not infinity there's not a million cars that could come out of a garage
no also why why would these people why why was barbershop why was the the guy from barbershop
i was orange julius why were they helping jack orange julius all we know about them is that they
lost money to these guys anyway like why why are they helping out like i feel like you'd get in
big trouble but then also it's revealed that like once they're good to go at the end that those people are released to it just
it just is so confusing about like who is what is happening or who's in trouble or why they're
going to be in trouble and also don't don't you think it's crazy like they know the colors
like the stunt would be even cooler if they all the cars were purple and yellow yeah yes like in my head i was like oh it would be an even i mean i love that they went multi-colored
because uh it just looked great visually but a bunch of blue and yellow cars would be a cooler
stunt because then it would be like harder because then you'd truly be like who the fuck is it but
then i loved that sookie and ludicrous were in their cars and then they
were in the old muscle cars i was like that's very cool that i like ludicrous was this this
was crazy to me he was only 26 when they filmed this movie or maybe 25 oh yeah like 25 so fucking
young and they dude and think about his life at At this moment, he's like a big rapper
doing this small thing in a movie.
He has no idea in 10 years
he's going to be mostly known
as a blockbuster actor
and host of Fear Factor.
He'll be like,
and if you told him then,
I'm like, you're going to host Fear Factor,
he'd go, the show with that guy with hair,
Joe Rogan, and it's like, oh, and let me, you're going to host Fear Factor. He'd go, the show with that guy with hair, Joe Rogan.
And it's like, oh, and let me tell you where that guy ends up in 10 or 20 years.
If you think it's crazy where you go, Tej, wait till you hear where Joe Rogan goes. It's a great point because I remember when it was like, oh, Ludacris is in the second.
And it was that sort of thing where you're like, oh, it's kind of the end of the road for his like and so he felt old he felt like an old rapper at that point that was getting into
he's gonna do like movie cameos and stuff and make you know have his have have like too fast
too furious which by the way plays in a scene that he's in yeah his own music is playing and
that rules that's alpha alpha fucking level shit.
And also, he's in charge of racing on land and sea.
He's racing fucking jet skis and shit.
But he's fucking 25.
He's 20.
That made me feel fucking old as shit.
Yeah, it's a thing you don't want to think about too much.
But I will say that, is there a move bitch line in this?
I feel like there is, right?
Doesn't someone say move bitch to him?
Yes.
Suki says move bitch.
I thought that that was a little nod to move bitch.
Yeah, it's a little nod.
I liked it.
I thought that was fun.
I got that one.
I got that one.
I'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm sorry not to derail us even more but nick you said when we were starting you were like there's no video right we were like no thank god and you
were like okay good because people roast me for my boxes i can read what the sign that's labeling
your box and it says nick's sports cards and English essays.
My parents visited and brought me a box.
I don't know why they saved my English essays.
Adorable.
They're going straight in the dumpster once I sort it.
But sports cards might have some value.
It's crazy, though, because that box is like arguably if it also had video games games and podcasts in it it would be your personality
it's like oh sports cards yes i memorized all the statistics for my la lakers and it's like
in english essays yes i can pretend to be a human writer and work in hollywood america
i have a question for you which which is a better Ludacris song?
Too Fast, Too Furious, I'm Too Fast for You All,
or the Austin Powers one that's like the number one shot.
Do you know that one?
He has an Austin Powers song.
Does he?
Oh, he certainly does.
You never heard it before?
I don't know if I have.
I'm sure I have.
It has like the Austin Powers.
It's like,
I trust Mitch on all things music,
all things Austin Powers.
I trust you on this.
Ludacris being super young in this movie makes sense
because he looks fucking hot yeah he looks
great his skin looks incredible yes he's like like he's in fast nine i saw it in the theaters
with tiff and she my wife and she just my lovely wife tiffany she literally just goes holy shit
he's so hot and i'm like he's like statuesque in the new one. He looks fucking amazing. I can't wait to see it.
Well, I mean, I'll see it soon.
Seven weeks from now.
Yeah, seven weeks from now, I'll see it, baby.
So this movie kind of like, you know,
the climax happens when Brian drives this Camaro onto a yacht
and then he shoots the bad guy.
And then Eva Mendez is like, don't get up. And then he shoots the bad guy and then Eva Mendez is like,
don't get up.
And then he gets arrested.
And then we find out that Brian and Roman stole money.
This is my favorite part of the movie.
They do like a quadruple cross or whatever
where they go like,
they say to him,
it's like, we got the three bags. He's like, great. You guys are all free. He's like, they say to him, it's like,
we got the three bags.
He's like, great.
You guys are all free.
He's like, are you sure?
And all my friends,
they're all free.
And he's like, yeah. He's like, okay, good.
Then here's three more bags.
There's actually six bags.
But now that we know you're on,
and they're like, oh, cool.
And he shakes their hands.
They walk away.
And like the little kids
that they're supposed to be friends since,
they turn the corner
and they just both reveal
that they stole money separately. And that's like such a cute fucking and even roman's line
he literally laughs through it like a little kid he's like brian we've got that fucking money
you barely understand him and you're like that rules he's jammed into his pants but also they
didn't get far enough away. Somebody heard them.
Just like right after Eva Longoria, or not Eva Longoria, Eva Mendez is on the yacht.
They leave.
They barely leave.
And he's like, what is she doing here?
And I was like, they heard you.
Yeah.
Also, they definitely heard her from the dock.
A boat is like, what's the fucking boat walls made out of?
He's banging her out.
The dock is fucking rocking back.
My thought is why did the turning in the three bags of cash is like the least fast and furious
shit I've ever seen in my life.
Why?
Why?
Like they should have gotten away with those three bags of cash.
That's what fast and the furious is about.
He just turns them in and then they try to steal some in their pants.
That's fucking.
I assume there was like an element of Paul Walker, like, like Tyrese is like trying to
go straight.
Right.
And, or, or at least it's just trying to, you know, he's, he's under house arrest.
He doesn't want to go back in the slammer.
And then, and then Paul Walker's character, it was a former cop.
I bought it.
I bought that.
They would be like, okay, well, we'll, we'll semi comply, or at least we'll give the appearances
of compliance. We're not going to like make a break for it we're just gonna skim a
little off the top no what was what mitch you're you're too heavily weighing movies that came after
this that kind of established the weird robin hood part of the movies that come in later where it's
like and that money has been redistributed to the people of the dominican republic or whatever that
you know like that's shit that happens in later movies but that's not in the dna yet this is still like
uh we need them to be good guys it's still old hollywood bad old hollywood like right to be good
guys we need to root for them in three when we recast them all with asian people we need to show
how good they are by showing how cooperative they are with the police yes who of course are the
best arbiters of who is good and who is bad yeah markham who's like trying to arrest them it's that
that stuff is still so weird i don't know why those people would help him i guess it is just
fucking over the cops which is the plus side to them helping him out but like ludicrous is even
talking to him over the walkie-talkie after gets arrested. It's like such, it's just,
it's literally like Brian,
you owe me.
And he's like,
wait,
you're working with Brian.
He's like,
I mean,
uh,
cover story.
But Brian's also on the cop side.
There's so much confusion with that shit.
A lot of confusion.
It's fucking,
it's,
it's,
it's,
that is,
that is the worst part of the movie.
It's,
it just,
it leans into it enough that they,
you don't,
they're like, yeah, we know it's muddans into it enough that they you they're like yeah we
know it's muddied and confusing but cute colors cars going everywhere now we're on the boat you
know what i mean like you kind of just roll with it uh we we literally were able to talk through
like the plot of this movie in six seconds like we the other 59 minutes we're dedicated to just
bullshitting because the plot in this movie is they drive here, they drive there, they drive there, and they drive there.
And the last there is a boat.
You know what?
It's a 108-minute movie that feels too long.
It's way too long.
And then also they recap everything with computer animation.
They do a computer animated recap at the end of the movie, which is –
It looks like shit.
It looks like absolute shit yeah yeah um no it's the the the plot the plot is awful but i do think it works
as kind of a friendship movie because tyrese and paul walker are they're so believable as two
likable nice guys you know what i mean like they're just, they're, they're likable dudes. Now via Paul Walker, we now love both Tyrese and,
uh,
Dom Toretto who are now in the movies together without Paul,
but Paul is the linking factor between them,
despite Vin being the linking factor between the whole movie.
But we're building on that and not a lot of movies get a chance to do this.
Like it's,
it's like you were saying,
Nick,
it's sort of like the proto, uh, cinematic universe because they don't know they're doing it but they're they're making
this is thor and now they're gonna make fucking doctor strange and fast five is gonna be their
avengers without it being fucking whack i mean it'll be as as weirdly asexual as the avengers
oh wait that was something i meant to talk to you about this in every movie buyer so i'm glad i Be as weirdly asexual as the Avengers.
Oh, wait.
I meant to talk to you about this in every movie, Byer,
so I'm glad I accidentally... Okay.
How did you feel about the sort of sexiness
or sexuality of this movie?
Because as we were saying,
the Fast movies have a weird sort of aggressive PG-13
sexuality to them. It is like, guys like guys we're gonna be a little sexy but
not too much tee hee hee better close the door yeah yeah because like even mendes is hot but like
wasn't sexy in the movie and then uh devin ioki was like vaguely sexy with like a short skirt, but like nobody's overtly sexy.
And then there was no sex.
No, no sex at all.
Well, like MTV was mentioned earlier.
And it's like it's kind of like the spring break MTV sort of approach of like here's an establishing shot where we've got a few women in bikinis and then we're just going to get to business. Literally, we're going to cut to an establishing
shot of ladies in bikinis
and zoom in to a white
guy in a too big t-shirt and sunglasses.
Literally,
you're right, Nick. It's the exact editing
style of this movie.
You know
what I want more of? I want more of that old
Italian man who they race against
and get his cars.
They race against that Italian guy who they were in a competition with to get the job from Kohlhauser with this Italian guy.
And then he comes back later and they race him for his cars.
He also just seems like a nice guy.
He doesn't seem like a bad guy.
They race him.
He plays chicken with him.
He's such a dick move.
Yeah, that was pretty rude paul walker is a fucking
crazy so he's running he's gonna run him down i believe their names are darden and corpy
darden and corp i like darden and corpy these old like these they stand out for how old and
strange they are like they don't fit in this universe right but he is like sort of in like
a muscle t2 like he still has to be cool miami and it's funny you're right he is sort of in a muscle tea, too. He still has to be cool Miami. And it's funny.
You're right.
He's like a dad's friend who's an actor.
He wants to be in the movie.
It's like, well, play the Italian driving bag.
Yeah, it feels like maybe he was a stunt guy or something.
Bring him back.
Bring back Eva Mendes and bring back Cole Hauser and make him white this time.
Bring them all back.
Yeah, dust him off and let him be white.
Varun, what happened to you?
No, it's Varun now.
I like how you characterized
them as old fucks, Mitch.
I just looked up
one of the actors
was 34 when this movie was made.
Yeah.
Wow.
There you go.
Really?
Yeah.
I was 34 when I saw this movie.
We would look old in Fast and the Furious now, Nick.
If you or I were in it.
It's true.
Yeah, the guys in it are 10 years older than me,
and they all look younger than I do.
Well, when you got money and a fucking facialist,
you'll look great.
Oh, we know.
Look at you, girl.
Specialist, you'll look great.
Oh, we know.
Look at you, girl.
You have a very extremely beautiful professional makeup on right now.
But it's funny to say, like,
I have a professional glam squad.
When the cars are revving,
you see me put my seatbelt extender on
in the fucking race scenes.
Yeah, my dropped car is just scraping the entire
drive.
I'm just stuck on
going up the drawbridge.
Truly, if the three of us
were in a car, it would just be like,
too slow, too sad.
Just scraping. Oh my god. How depressing. Ma'am, do you know why i pulled you 11 people over
it's only three of you oh christ continue on we're using all the seatbelts somehow
oh you best put your seatbelt
Buyer, you called it out before
when Roman and Brian
use one too many back and forths
on every kind of like bit interaction.
And it's always too brief.
This, when they're driving
to hit the boat,
they do go,
all right, you crazy.
He's like, strap up, seatbelt.
You're going to do it?
I'm going to do it.
And they were like, put up, seatbelt. You're going to do it? I'm going to do it. Yeah.
And they were like, put it all in the movie.
All of it goes in. Yeah, right.
Don't cut a thing.
Yeah.
It's so long.
It's so funny.
It's like, they're going 100 miles an hour on a dirt road aiming for a moving boat.
It's like, all right, we're settled.
Put the fucking seatbelt on.
We're going, bro.
By the way, just the weird electric going bro that by by the way just the
weird electric hooks that they shoot into the car like these weird yeah and that's never addressed
yeah it's so they feel like future hooks that like fuck up cars maybe they exist maybe they
exist i don't know if they do exist but do you not think they do i think it's a completely made
up thing that they don't ever explain it's just, let me hang out of the car and rip it out of my car and throw it into a cop car.
And then that cop car can't go no more.
In Fast Six, they do bring back those,
the British squad has the little EMPs
that land on the hood and shut the computers off.
So they bring the tech back,
but it's slicker and looks way less
like Emperor Palpatine's lightning
i get that reference yes there you go shit i do because i i remember i remember that
speaking of references how how do you like them how about them apples is they say how do you like
them apples right doesn't tyree say it he's like how do you like those apples that phrase existed yeah well what the fuck goodwill hunting came out
the goodwill hunting came out a few years before I made it famous no I think it was well known
before that oh fuck off this is bullshit how do you like them apples yeah I think that's a thing
people are trying to say like Kohlhauser, who has worked on Good Will Hunting,
was there for the filming of that scene,
was like, and then went over and told Roman,
Tyrese, to say that in this movie?
It's a nod.
It's a little nod.
I think it's a nod.
He pitched an all for another actor?
If I can quote IMDb,
zero out of four find that interesting.
Well, this is interesting.
Critically, the film was not well received it currently has a 36 percent uh fresh rating on rotten tomatoes and a critic from the
kansas city star said just because you give an old car a new paint job doesn't mean it runs better
wow jesus wow you hit the car analogy better than the franchise itself, arguably.
Salty.
A little bit of trivia. I'll throw out a little trivia
while you hold on to that thought, Byron.
So much neon lighting was
used in the cars that they had
to have a technical specialist on set
who specializes exclusively
in shooting neon on film.
Wow.
How do you find that person?
Ronnie got his second month of work ever in life.
Holy shit, I haven't worked since Tron.
So this was number one at the box office.
It earned 50 million during its opening weekend.
And it, oh my God, it earned $ 236 million dollars worldwide a big success that's
huge and singleton doesn't direct a ton after this and he's he does four brothers next which
rules also yeah but he but he but why didn't why didn't singleton direct more after that i mean
just as a sign of hollywood maybe he was sleepy he could he could have you know what or maybe he
got it maybe it was about the family maybe it was a time with the family i could have but i don't i don't know why
he didn't he didn't do more stuff after like four brothers and stuff i know he did some tv i think
maybe that's where that's right and then i think he like uh is like a creator or ep on snowfall
that fx show that people think he's still also 50 cent was considered for the part later taken by tyrese imagine 50 cent is a roman pierce
oh man wow thank you yeah let's remember this after like the sixth movie let's and and like
go like imagine if it was 50 cent in this last movie what that would be like
because it it it doesn't vibe for me i like terese way too much
give me that baby boy give me that womb it's a nice warm womb i want the baby boy i love the
warm womb baby give me that warm womb one day i'll get that reference one day
well we've come to the end mitch we Weiger, what would you like to promote?
Check out the Doughboys, a podcast about chain restaurants.
You've both been on it.
It's me and Mitch.
At DoughboysPod on Twitter, DoughboysPodcast on Instagram.
And check out Mitch's movie.
Yeah, check out The Tomorrow War on Amazon Prime.
And check out Baby Boy.
It's a fun movie where you see an adult man in a womb.
We were talking about it a bit beforehand, but you should watch
it. It's like, and also you get
why like Tyrese should be a star.
Yeah. Tyrese's first role
I think. It's just like first movie role or
first big movie role at least. Yeah.
He's really great. He fucking knocks it out of the park.
Also, a nice tune, Joe
Buttons' Pump It Up.
You should give that a listen. It's featured in Too Fast, Too Furious.
That one, that I know.
That's in the rotation.
Well, we don't have any reviews yet,
but if you write us reviews, because we'll pick some,
yeah, just write.
Write us reviews so we have some way to interact
with you guys okay you want us to interact
with you write a review yeah we'll
fucking talk to you it'll be great
we'll say your dumb handle out loud
how fun will that be
and you'll cream your jeans
you'll be so excited
creamed jeans all around
mamacita you sound like a mafia guy
threatening someone with writing in
it's insane.
Go ahead, write in.
You should write into the show.
No, no, no.
Come, have a seat.
No, no, no.
We're all friends here at this restaurant.
No, come sit down.
You're invited to a new course with us.
Well, we'll be back next week with the Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift.
Does it take place in Tokyo?
Mostly. Ooh, she place in Tokyo? Mostly.
Ooh, she's going on a trip.
Bye-bye. Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.