Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - 2 Fast 2 Furious (w/ Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell)

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell (Doughboys) join Nicole and Gabrus to discuss the second film in the Fast & Furious Franchise—2 Fast 2 Furious (2003).Follow Nick (Twitter) and Mike (Instag...ram, Twitter) and check out Doughboys on Headgum.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. All right, all right, all right, fire them up! It's time, it's time for the weak to go home! Keep your eyes on the road, cowboy. You nervous? He did the stare and drive on you, didn't he? He got that from me. What's his deal?
Starting point is 00:00:40 I got a problem with authority. You just need to chill out. You ready for this? Come on, man. Guns, murderers, and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro. 🎵 Ooh, wow! Welcome to Newcomers! Okay, so I'm Nicole Byer. My co-host right now is John Gabrus. Because Lauren has to sit this season out because she's got things on her plate.
Starting point is 00:01:43 She's got busyness, as we called it in episode one, out of fear of like, is she talking about it yet? So we'll just say she's super busy. Well, you don't want to scoop a newborn, you know? No, no. That's her news to tell people she made a whole human being. Yeah, that's all her party, man. That's not our party.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Because I'm not doing that shit over here. I need to be available to co-host newcomers. Because you're covering a series of movies that are my favorites. Ooh, baby. We're covering the Fast and the Furious franchise. And we're going to have guests that will sometimes be the newcomer. Sometimes I'll be the newcomer. So I gaslit myself.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I realized this watching Too Fast, Too Furious. Never once have I laid eyes on this movie. I thought I watched the whole series. Last week, you were confidently telling me that I think I've seen almost all of them. Maybe I missed the Tokyo one. And then text me one minute into this movie going, I've never seen this movie.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Never, never once in my life. It was so wild. So, okay, this is the second episode of the fourth season. There are 10 episodes. We're going to cover all nine movies along with Hobbs and Shaw, which I have seen. And today we're talking about Too Fast, Too Furious, released in 2003. And it's available on DVD, a subscription to HBO Max. You can watch it on Amazon,
Starting point is 00:03:05 Apple TV, Google Play, or Vodoo for some money. There's going to be fucking spoilers because we're talking about a movie. Yeah, we're talking about a movie that is old. If you're listening to a podcast
Starting point is 00:03:17 about a movie, you should just understand that it's going to get spoiled at this point. Don't click, if you're watching, if you're listening to a podcast about fucking McDonald's fries and these
Starting point is 00:03:27 motherfuckers spoil the end of tomorrow war or some shit like that, then you could be mad. I don't know what hypothetical podcast I'd even be talking about in that moment. I mean, what a great segue because our guest today host a hypothetical podcast. Just like that. It's Nick Weiger,
Starting point is 00:03:44 Mike Mitchell. Weiger is a comedian, writer, producers written for at just like that. It's Nick Weiger, Mike Mitchell. Weiger's a comedian, writer, producer. He's written for At Midnight, I Love You America, and co-hosts the podcast How Did This Get Played? Mike Mitchell, ooh, Mitchie Mitch Mitch, is a comedian, writer, and actor who's appeared in Love, and most recently, the blockbuster movie that he is the lone star of, The Tomorrow War.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Together, they come together, they eat, and they have a funny podcast called Doughboys. Welcome, Weiger and Mitchie, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch. Thank you for having us. We're very excited to be here. What a treat.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Were you doing a Nick Weiger impression there? Hey, how you doing? I'm happy to be here. Thank you. Very excited. I'm excited. Thank you. Too charismatic.
Starting point is 00:04:28 You can't say that a movie is old anymore because the movie old, it doesn't count anymore, Gabriel. So you have to say a movie is dated. Oh, yeah. If you say that movie is old, people go, I know. I saw the M. Night Shyamalan movie old. It's like, no, I'm saying the movie is old. Yes, I saw the M. Night Shyamalan movie.
Starting point is 00:04:45 It's a who's on first that lasts one line. But what is that movie about? Is it about a white person who went to the beach too long and they got fried up and became a skeleton? What is it about? It's about stolen DVD players, which is kind of weird that that's
Starting point is 00:05:01 There is a guy named Midsize Sedan in it. There is a guy named Midsize Sedan in it. There's a rapper named Midsize Sedan. Okay, well, now we technically are spoiling a new movie. That is true that there is a rapper named Midsize Sedan. He introduced it. There's a point where the woman goes, I think that's Midsize Sedan,
Starting point is 00:05:22 which is such a funny rap name. That is very funny. And is it for comedic effect or is it said very seriously? Not sure. It's hard to tell with M. Night. He kind of walks the line there a little bit. By the way, how ironic is it that Lapkus isn't here because of family when you're doing this series all about family?
Starting point is 00:05:43 I mean, you've talked about this, right? Yes. doing this a series all about family i mean you've talked about this right yes it's it's a it's a movie series about family yeah all right just making sure about it all right good good well the real crazy thing is that labkus like vin diesel may have been around for the founding of the newcomers podcast but they are out and in this they bring in two fresh face young people like you two one handsome and then one uh comic relief in roman i'll put the quotes around comic relief there for my man roman who is the best comic relief throughout all the movies but again that is not a huge trophy to hold on to. Also, a hunk himself. Roman is a baby boy. He's so hot. But it gave the movie just a different feel than the first one.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I was like, this is like a buddy comedy now, as opposed to like a gritty. I mean, I truly think the first one is an indie. I think it's a gritty indie that's like grainily shot in the streets of LA and this is like boop boop boop boop boop we in Florida now where the players play and the water's cold I don't know I was trying to
Starting point is 00:06:54 it really is a solid where the water's cold famously bien vendidos ami ami hace frio this movie This movie is a classic sequel in that it's like, okay, how about the cars are brighter and the background is brighter? And things, it is truly like a heightened movie. It just doesn't follow the same.
Starting point is 00:07:21 It forces the same plot on the movies where it makes way less sense. It's like, you're not a cop or undercover or a criminal. And it's like, okay. Yeah, if you're a real improv nerd, it's as if someone else stepped out to do your second beat and you have to watch on the back line going, hurrah, I had a good idea. Oh, I know that feeling all too well.
Starting point is 00:07:42 I've never been on the back line during an improv show. I think it was a good decision to have Tyrese not be just like another version of Vin Diesel, because that would have been like the obvious thing of just like, OK, we'll bring in another sort of, you know, tough, kind of stoic, like badass. And we'll be like, this guy looks like a badass, but he's kind of a goofball. And then that later creates room for the two of them to coexist. Because I think if you just try to out Vin Diesel Vin Diesel, it's just going to be like, well, I just want Vin Diesel.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Sure. Yeah, I think letting Tyrese bring his own thing to the table is, I think it's the best thing about this movie, honestly. Yeah, and Tyrese is great in this movie, and he's not the fully realized Roman character that we see. No. Right. Because he changes so
Starting point is 00:08:25 frequently from the movies he's a scaredy cat sometimes a total badass sometimes and then when well you'll know learn this like when we get to nine he's also sometimes a meta commentator on the yes making of films is he always hungry though
Starting point is 00:08:41 that seems like an application always carries over he stayed hungry you gotta? He stayed hungry. That seems like an affectation that always carries over. He stayed hungry. You gotta stay hungry. I love that they explained why he eats so much. It seemed like these just started rolling, and they didn't call cut, and then he was literally like, why are you eating in every scene?
Starting point is 00:09:00 He was like, oh, it was part of my character? I went to jail, and the food wasn't good there. And I was like oh it was part of my characters i went to jail and the food wasn't good there okay cool it's a it's a fun character trait that i haven't seen in a movie before like i relish in food because i went without it for so long but yeah at this but at the same time it's he steals a fucking cigar cutter from a dude's pocket. He is so much more wild in this than he, this is, I mean, this is a huge movie in the Fast and Furious franchise for Ludacris and Roman,
Starting point is 00:09:35 who's Tyrese, and Tyrese. They're a huge part of this franchise. Yes, and I didn't realize that. I didn't realize, because I was just like oh they're side characters because i truly have seen the first one and like the seventh one so i was like oh they were just added in peppered in little sprinkles i was like no tyrese was like a huge character yeah i'd be so mad to be like oh so vin's back and now i have to take a fucking back
Starting point is 00:10:03 seat squeeze me he's not mad because of that cash by the way i that because he's made millions and millions of dollars just being a goofball but but vin diesel he was offered 25 million dollars to return for this movie and he were in and he said so i read a bit i read a bit about it and uh after he read the you did research? I did. This is more than you've ever done for your own book. This is thrilling. He decided to appear
Starting point is 00:10:32 in the Chronicles of Riddick instead which by the way is a sequel to Pitch Black. Pitch Black. Thank you. Which also stars the villain of this movie. Cole Hauser.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Cole Hauser. And I'm a Cole Hauser fan, even though I'm kind of not sure of what his character is. We'll get to that later. Yeah, we'll get to Cole Hauser, who I think is doing Latino face. I think he's supposed to be Latino. Yes, I was very confused by that. I was like, you're definitely a white man. Yeah, you're definitely like an Irish white man, like a real, like a redhead with his hair dyed black. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:07 So Tyrese does an impression of him at one point, and it's like in a Latino accent. I'm like, what? Yeah, it's very confusing. His name is Varone. Just cast a Cuban actor. I mean, just put a Cuban person, a cuban american a oh this is 2003 baby yeah i didn't get the memo yet he was offered 25 million dollars and he said that he this is what he said he said they didn't take a francis ford coppola approach to it they approached it
Starting point is 00:11:43 like they did the sequels in the 80s and 90s when they would drum up a new story unrelated for the most part and slap the same name on it. But he's kind of right there. I like that. It's principled. I kind of like it and I also think at the same time he should have done it. I mean, who cares about Chronicles of Reign? But I like where his head's at
Starting point is 00:11:59 for sure. I will say that the uniqueness of Vin Diesel is a big part. I'm sure you'll talk about this the over the arc of the series uh of the season of newcomers but it's like the the uniqueness of vin diesel as a movie star and as kind of like an eccentric is part of what makes this whole thing works that he would walk away and later come back lets them build this gigantic expanded universe before anyone was building expanded universes it's like inadvertent like well now we've got Tyrese and uh and Ludacris in here and we got to figure out how to make everyone work all together so I I don't know it's it's kind of inadvertently to its benefit
Starting point is 00:12:33 but he's right that part two is and and I think kind of the series in general until they they eventually it eventually hits its stride and I'm far from an expert on the Fast and Furiouses but it's like kind of mercenary right it's It's like Singleton comes in, the screenwriters come in for part two, and they have no other participation in the franchise beyond this one entry. It's like this is just kind of a one-off for them. Yeah. Well, I think Singleton was a great, he's a great choice for, well, I got to say this too, besides those two new characters,
Starting point is 00:13:02 this also kind of introduces the element of, hey, now we're in Florida. Like this is now, like Fast and the Furious is a travel franchise. We're going to go all over the place. We're going to go, this is going to span worlds and you're going to see a lot of different locales. But Singleton is just good because we were talking
Starting point is 00:13:22 about this before the pod started, but he's, first of all, for bringing Tyrese in. But then also, I think he just kind of gets the vibe of what the movies are supposed to be a little bit. And, you know, he did Baby Boy and he gets what he gets, what people love about these movies. I feel like I feel like this movie, though, at the time, though, like this is the first sequel. Like it's not like this was an existing franchise. Sure. No, but I loved he loved the he was a big fan of the first man of the first sequel. Like it's not like this was an existing franchise. Sure. No, but he loved he loved the he was a big fan of the first fan of the first one.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah. And he gets like racing. He gets like street racing culture. That's what he said. And like urban culture. I mean, he did boys. The fact that Singleton is blessing the Fast and the Furious franchise, like after the first movies directed by that guy
Starting point is 00:14:01 who's kind of, you know, and also ran like, you know, mercenary director Rob Cohen, whose name is Casey. And now this one's fucking directed by that guy who's kind of you know and also ran like uh you know mercenary director it was rob cohen whose name is casey and now this one's fucking directed by singleton that's a huge plus up boys yeah and baby boy which we were talking we were talking about baby boy before the before the before the show started i mean we're talking boys in the hood poetic justice higher learning like all the movies that i was watching in junior high like that these were like the cool movies and he directed all of them and then comes and i don't know any of this when i go to see too fast in the theaters i'm just think i'm going to see i don't even know fully because back then you wouldn't even know that vin wasn't attached and you go see it and you're like this is crazy this
Starting point is 00:14:41 is a and then they will do this to us several more times where you're like, this isn't a sequel to the previous movie, but it's fun and has some of the similar vibes and some of the same characters. So I'm fucking here for it. It was like kind of, it kind of like hooked in. Cause Brian was like a fired LAPD officer who then went to Florida to,
Starting point is 00:15:05 to draw, like, why did his car, why was his car like an English car? It was on the wrong. He was driving like a British street racing car. I was like, what is,
Starting point is 00:15:13 what is happening? This is so wild. Also, I was like, is this movie, is it like brought to you by Mitsubishi because they had a Mitsubishi eclipse and a Mitsubishi Lancer. I think it's an evolution.
Starting point is 00:15:24 No, I don't remember. But yeah, it was two Mitsubishis. I was like, what like what's going on well it's also brought to you by pepsi too when homeboy goes directly into a pepsi billboard that doesn't get damaged at all like everything is crashing and burning around it but it's like pepsi drink it please are you Please. Are you talking about the dude from Barbershop? Yes. Yeah. I feel like the aesthetic of this movie is just like it feels very 2000. I was a sophomore in college or going into my junior year. It feels very 2003. Dude, the universal logo that it opens, the universal logo transition that it does, like it becomes like a tire.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I loved it. It's the most early aughts shit of all time. opens the universal logo transition that it does, like, and becomes like a tire. It's the most early aughts shit of all time. Well, and also kind of the, the fight club inspired. We're going to go inside something with a CG sort of sequence where they go inside the engines. I was about to say the same. This PlayStation two era,
Starting point is 00:16:19 like cut scene level of CG. It like looks so shitty in 2021. And also who wants to see the inside of like, not even like, you don't even see the engine. You see like the inside of like the circuit board. You see like. Everyone's favorite part.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Whenever you watch Formula One racing, there's always a little thing in the corner. That's a zoomed in X-ray of the circuits working. Cause that's what people really want to see when cars are driving fast. I'm holding a barbecue lighter. I love it i love it it's uh i feel like that's how you're dictating wait did all three of you see it in theaters no i did i did i did not i did not see it in theaters no i did then i remember going to see it at school i think i was in college gabrus i know your history with the franchise,
Starting point is 00:17:05 but Mitch and Weiger, when did you guys get involved? I mean, I really probably wasn't even paying attention to the Fast and Furious franchise all that much until Fast Five. And then Fast Five, everyone was just like,
Starting point is 00:17:17 you got to see this is an awesome action movie. And it is just like an awesome action movie that stands on its own. And then I watched some of the rest of the franchise after that.
Starting point is 00:17:25 But like, I've, I it's, it's all like little chunks. Like I have not seen all nine movies. This is one of them. And then I rewatched it for this podcast, but this is one of the ones I'd seen.
Starting point is 00:17:35 But I like, I don't, here's my, here's my take on the fast and furious movies. I think it's, I, Natalie, my lovely wife is a huge fan,
Starting point is 00:17:43 loves these movies. Like could not love them more. Like, saw, like, Fast 9, she saw opening day, and she was like, I don't care if you can't come with me. I'm going. Like, she's that level of fan. I feel like she gives you that line a lot. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much for dinners, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Natalie, every time I learn something new about her, I say in my head, why am i friends with nick when i could be friends with madeline so so she loves the movies and for me like i'm in these big this big action genre of the moment i'm more in the mission impossible camp like i love the mission impossible so much and i think part of it is that you don't need to be in a different camp for god's i'm just but i'm saying like in terms of my fandom like like those are the movies I love. These movies like I can appreciate, but I can't latch on in some way. And I think part of it is like every one of these movies is so cool. Like the the equivalent, like who is the who am I supposed to latch on to here?
Starting point is 00:18:37 Who's the fucking there's no dorkwad here. There's no like Simon Pegg character that could be like that would be my role on this team. Like the hacker in the Fast and Furious franchise is ludicrous. Yeah. Chris, ludicrous bridges. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Tej becomes the greatest.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Tej, the guy who just owns a mechanic shop in this movie, is later on the biggest hacker in the world until he meets Ramsey, who's also in the movies and is a bigger hacker in the world. I mean, humble beginnings from running a drag races and, and jet ski races to being a hacker. That's wild. This,
Starting point is 00:19:12 this is also, I think this is something that maybe Griffin Newman said, but, um, it's, or, and why, cause we talked about this.
Starting point is 00:19:19 It's the craziest franchise where Tyrese then becomes the comedic relief in Ludacris is the straight man like that right when you when you like you see Ludacris you're like he's funny Ludacris is gonna be funny he raps he's funny when he raps he's a funny guy and in the movie he's truly he's he doesn't joke that much he's he's he's the abbot he is he's the abbot by the way yeah i i i the way i got into fast and furious is that for my god for maybe my 30th birthday somewhere around there or or maybe it was actually i think it was before that it was my first year living at in palmerston but um the apartment i live at and i live with telling people where you live i think all the listeners understand when this story takes place then if it's around when you first moved into your apartment
Starting point is 00:20:09 look i lived here with matt kowalik and for my birthday he bought me fast five on dvd and then that's nice i had like seen the first one in theaters and thought and thought it was like not great and so i was it was a blue it was actually a blu-ray of fast five and we watched and i was like this fucking rules this is a great this is a great movie koalik who actually makes an appearance in this movie we'll talk about it a little later on but um that's the nicest the rat and the the rat in the bucket is what i'm talking about but um so your friend who got you a very sweet birthday gift comparing to vermin and a person who none of us know no one has any context now you are shit talking him on a different podcast
Starting point is 00:20:50 but uh i got i got i got the blu-ray of it and and and yeah i was i was i was hooked ever since and also i love mission impossible but i love the fast and Furious franchise. It's just, it's a, it's. So you're in two camps. I'm in two camps. It's a movie that. They, they, they keep, they, they keep, they keep reinventing. It's, it's just, I think Vin Diesel is right that he does have a Francis Ford Coppola approach to things. They keep reinventing what these movies are.
Starting point is 00:21:20 They're incredible. Five is the first one where he's a producer. Five is the first one. Five is by far the best. You were saying that, Gabriel. You were like five is where it really takes off. It's hard. I would say it takes off because it takes off on the backs of the previous four or
Starting point is 00:21:36 three of the four movies. The four movies preceding it do kind of, and I can't wait. We're going to get to do this in live time with you. They've kind of established all the characters and then five just shoehorns them all into the same movie somehow everyone that we meet in all in these next four movies is in five so little bow wow is gonna come back after three no see little bow wow bummer he turned he turned this down and they were like well maybe there's another rapper another rapper. Oh, shit. How about Chris Ludacris?
Starting point is 00:22:06 You know, dude is a fucking megastar. And Shad Moss is over on the side like, oh, fuck. I should have just done one more of these. It was Ja Rule, right? Ja Rule. Oh, Ja Rule. Oh, yeah. Ja Rule was in the first one.
Starting point is 00:22:19 And then Ludacris. It was Ja Rule who turned it down. Yeah, Ja Rule. But Lil Bow Wow's in the third one? The third one. Yeah. Lil Bow Wow was in three. Ja Rule was offered half a million dollars to do this movie, and he said no.
Starting point is 00:22:34 This is nuts! All these people getting thrown so much cash, and they're like, no, I have integrity. Bitch, give me half a million dollars, and I'll suck a dick anywhere. Here's what Ja Rule was offered $500,000 for the role, which was more than what he had been
Starting point is 00:22:52 paid to appear in The Fast and the Furious. $15,000. So he got offered $500,000. According to Singleton, Ja got too big for himself. He turned it down. He turned down half a million dollars. He was acting like he was too big to be in the sequel.
Starting point is 00:23:06 He was like, just you guys wait. I'm going to bring you a festival. Wait, was that Ja Rule? Yeah. Yes. That's right. He's like, I got to start planning for that festival. To be fair, Ja Rule might have been too big at this.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Like literally at the one time they asked him about this to do this movie, he might have actually been too big briefly. Like $500,000, there's probably a period in Ja Rule's life where it was like, wait, it's three months work. No, thanks. But I don't think Ja Rule foresaw the future. I mean, he was like, we got to get people to an island and give them sliced bread. is like we got to get people to an island and give them sliced bread well i'll say this much that like if he ate into like ludicrous or or tyrese's time i wouldn't want him there anyways because tyrese is like we said a great actor uh and and and ludicrous is great in his role too so i i sorry ja rule you you fucked up i mean maybe you'll get brought back in 10 or 11 or whatever,
Starting point is 00:24:05 but you fucked up big time. I think you fucked up. Real quick, let's not fuck up and take a break. If you're wondering what a NordVPN is, I'll tell you. VPN stands for Virtual Private Network, a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy. A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. I'm using a NordVPN myself. And honestly, it's very easy to use.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You connect with one click to enable auto-connect for zero-click protection. It has amazing speed. NordVPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there, and it supports every major platform, Windows, Android, iOS, Linux, even Android TV. You can switch your virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive NordVPN deal here at nordvpn.com slash newcomers. N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee.
Starting point is 00:25:19 The link is in the episode description. We back. Okay, so we have a little news segment called the Toretto Gazetto. So Vin Diesel discusses Dwayne The Rock Johnson and friendship with Paul Rucker, Paul Walker in recent cover story. So in a men's health interview, Diesel discussed his friendship with Walker. The pair used to play World of Warcraft on the Fast and Furious sets. They played as a team against strangers out in the world.
Starting point is 00:25:52 What a treat. And he was like, no one in the world knew they were playing against Dom and Brian. That's my Vin Diesel. Thank you. That's very good. Thank you so much. Van Cleef run with Dom and Brian. A dream come true.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I have no idea what World of Warcraft is. Is that like Dungeons and Dragons? It kind of is. It's online. Yeah, you play with other people. Video games is one of the few things that I have. And if at some point on the Silverhand server, I was playing PvP and just getting absolutely shithoused
Starting point is 00:26:24 by Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, two fucking studs who are millionaires, overhand server i was playing pvp and just getting absolutely shithoused by paul walker and vin diesel two fucking studs who are millionaires like i would just be like what am i doing like i can't even have that guess what wags yeah you don't got shit you got nothing buddy wow okay yeah wow wow wow it's Fair. Also, in our little newsletter, he spoke about working with The Rock and cited tough love. He gave him acting advice on set. When asked about the comments,
Starting point is 00:26:55 The Rock told The Hollywood Reporter, I laughed and I laughed hard. Wow! He later said, I wish them well on Fast 9 and I wish them the best of luck on Fast 10 and Fast 11 and the rest of the Fast and the Furious movies they do.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Thou be without me. Whoa. Hmm. Yeah. I guess. The Rock shouldn't be in these movies. He's so important in Fast 5, but he doesn't. You'll see.
Starting point is 00:27:20 He doesn't really. He's like hat on hat in a way. Right. He's too skilled And it feels weird In my world He wasn't in the first one And then he's in the next one
Starting point is 00:27:33 And then that's it I truly have missed so much in between I can't believe it Just give me the highlights of the last 20 years Of these movies Six and one. Got it. I'm 100% team diesel in this, in the Rock vs. Diesel. I mean, like, there's no.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Yeah, 100% team diesel. I mean, Diesel is the reason that these movies work. And the Rock tried to do his own thing. Look, I don't want to spoil stuff for you, but Hobbs and Shaw just doesn't hold up to the standard of other Fast and Furious movies. It's missing something. It's missing Vin Diesel. I didn't mind Hobbs and Shaw, but also I've missed so many of Vin Diesel in the movies.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I was just like, ooh, fun. Vin's just not here for this one. So I was just like, ooh, fun. Vin's just not here for this one. I may have mentioned this on Star Wars Newcomers, but I had a friend growing up who he had two Star Wars movies on VHS. He had Star Wars, the original, A New Hope, and then Return of the Jedi. So he was missing the middle installment.
Starting point is 00:28:42 And so it wasn't until he was a teenager that he found out that there was a middle movie spanning the gap between these. It just went from the end of Star Wars right to the start of Return of the Jedi and he thought it was just a direct sequel and it kind of works actually if you think about what happens in it but just like what like his mind was blown and you were the sidekick to this
Starting point is 00:28:58 kid I mean for Star Wars to me I don't know how anything's a sequel. It's all fucking in the galaxy and shit. I buy it. I mean, I've seen all of them and I cannot tell you what happens in them other than there's a lot of space and a man in a black helmet who looks like bubble gum underneath. Truly so wild.
Starting point is 00:29:27 So, okay, Too Fast, Too Furious was written by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas. Ooh, like an avocado. Directed by John Singleton, released June 6, 2003. I gotta say. What a time. It is truly a time capsule of the 2000s. And it feels like a music video that was just like elongated into a movie.
Starting point is 00:29:52 That's what it is, Bayer. It's very MTV music video-esque. And in all the angles of it, in like the way they shoot the cars, and the way they shoot the ladies, and way they shoot the speakers in the cars. Like all you're right. Oh, buyer. I did not.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Right. It's very music video. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when they're going fast and you see like the, like the colors just kind of shaking behind their heads or whatever. You're like, what is this?
Starting point is 00:30:19 Why would I even think that this is fun to look at? Sucks. It sucks. It sucks in 2021 2021 it's kind of like this looks a little when the two cut when they cut to two hoods and the noises are just like and it's just like two digital images going back and forth i don't care about that and the background is just like a tunnel blowing by like that stuff i didn't care for but blowing your fucking car through a boat i mean that was wild when tyrese was like you gotta do it and he was like i'm gonna do it and i was like he's gonna do it but small potatoes comparatively to where the franchise goes but
Starting point is 00:30:58 sure this is like this is like the big moment at the end of the movie and and and any other and any other fast and the furious this is like a guy who just the end of the movie and, and, and any other, and any other fast and the furious, this is like a guy who just goes off the road and goes into a boat. Like, I feel like, like a side character fucks up and goes into a boat. Like that's not the, that's not the giant set piece at the end,
Starting point is 00:31:15 but this early on, that is, that's what you get. Basically. They also do the same stunt twice. So in the drag race, he jumps over the bridge and lands and everyone's like, he's a hero.
Starting point is 00:31:28 And then they're like, I guess we're going to do it again. Yes. Just on above. Well, they got to establish that he's capable of doing it. Technically him. And I forget the actor's name,
Starting point is 00:31:39 but Steve Aoki's sister, Devin Aoki. Devin Aoki. Yeah. Daughter of Rocky Aoki. Founder of Benihana. Hanna's. The Wall Street guy.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Oh my god. Anytime she wanted Benihana, she could just go. That's right. Anytime. And now anytime she wants anything, she can have anything. I guess so. But Benihana, what a a dream they used women so poorly in this movie they had ava mendez yeah who is a capable actress just as like a fucking set piece
Starting point is 00:32:16 as this like damsel in distress who i was like i think she's more than capable of like fucking this dude up and then suki devon aoki didn't do anything but drive around in a pink car that was very cool yeah they they like still didn't they didn't nail the team thing in this i i do know that uh that uh oh god what's her what's her name the actress who you just mentioned not even mendez even mendez even mendez she had a kid and she like quit acting so i think that that's why she hasn't been any she like quit acting so I think that that's why she hasn't been any of the sequels because I think that they maybe would have used her better in some of the newer movies but you're right in this she's not she's not used great and yeah
Starting point is 00:32:55 the craziest thing about her as the character is that she would be undercover and dating varone in her cover but then cheating on varone with an undercover cop like yes that is move she's terrible move there's no way that there's there's no mental justification you could do for that with the exception of like she couldn't resist paul walker but in that case paul walker should be like i'm not going to the fucking club with you you're fake dating the evil crime boss that we're trying to shut down this could fuck us he's not gonna be there I don't
Starting point is 00:33:34 care if he's not there be an undercover cop for one more fucking hour of the movie but no it's a female character so she is defined by the two men she's involved with. It reminds me, I mentioned the Mission Impossible franchise as well. And the second entry of the Mission Impossible franchise is a similar issue.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Tandy Newton, who is the love interest in that movie, is basically like Eva Mendes, like a great actor who has very little to do. She just exists as like, I'm an undercover op who exists to be honeypotted with the uh you know with the with the antagonist and that's basically my and then i have a love triangle with the hero with tom cruise that's my entire role in this movie so yeah it's a it's it's not it's not a super fun role it seems like but as we know like i said it's her fault for not coming back for the sequels but for for having a family and and and not going into the sequels. Wow, another person missing out on La Familia because of La Familia.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Can I just quickly say that You cannot quickly say anything. Hold on. I'll get this out of my mouth both quickly. Ludacris saying I have a surprise and then putting up the bridge is an insane surprise.
Starting point is 00:34:45 What the fuck is that? That is a bad, dangerous friend. He almost killed all four of his friends. Insane. He knew all of them by name. Orange Julius is the only one who was like, fuck this. And he's the most right in that scenario. His name is Orange Julius in the movie.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Yes. Is it? Yes. Yeah. Oh, he's wearing all orange and driving orange. Julius. Yeah. And his fans, I believe, are in orange.
Starting point is 00:35:09 I think there were some fans were wearing the color of the car situation in some of this. The whole like car fan thing is so wild that just like they're hyping him up. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's insane. Yes, it's it's it's it's funny that John Singleton's like, I know that street racing culture because for me, it feels completely unbelievable. Like, I don't believe it.
Starting point is 00:35:30 No, it seems so. It seems great. If you're Paul Walker, you slam the brakes and you'd be like, hey, Tej, what the fuck was that, man? You invite me down to this fucking race telling me I can win some money and then you almost fucking kill us all. Jesus, dude. What about Slapjack
Starting point is 00:35:48 and Orange Julius? Also, it was a lot of money to buy into that race. It was $3,500 that people just had in cash. Yeah. Fucking Paul Walker walks away with $14,000. Also, one thing I love about this movie is the
Starting point is 00:36:03 opening scene is that drag race more or less this one we're talking about right now but the lead up to it is brian racing to get there on time and then after this race he has to race away from the cops also so like they he doesn't get to travel normally to and from the drag race no he's just going too fast too furious exactly which by the way i kind of like that the movie has a lot of racing that like that it is i feel like the the balance like racing is basically it's kind of there in the later movies like they'll they'll race it's still just cars it's just cars yeah yes but the racing part of it is kind of fun it's kind of fun that you see some of the because this this is this is a aspect that is almost completely out of the movies now
Starting point is 00:36:49 right right fast night it doesn't exist i'll also say that you know this is a series that has a lot of great titles but i think this might be the best overall title yeah too fast too furious is great and you know for a time everyone was having fun with it. They were doing like the, oh, Two Bucket, Two List, you know, like some fake sequel, like Two whatever. It was the colon electric boogaloo of their time. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:37:15 They were doing that in the mid-2000s for a bit. Because that was like the go-to joke for a while, Terminator 2 electric boogaloo. Right. But it is a great title and it kind of just sort of establishes oh yeah it's not going to be fast and the furious colon whatever every time how sequels are always kind of boringly titled it'll be whatever we'll have some fun with it yeah and we'll we'll touch on it with each episode but the names really do vary wildly from from movie to
Starting point is 00:37:41 movie they really play with it yeah but for something that's based on two words. Yeah, exactly. One is just fast and furious. Yep. Right. It's like you just took the the away. Okay. But okay.
Starting point is 00:37:53 They Facebooked it. So yeah, they did. It was the Facebook and then it became Facebook? Yeah. Sean Parker. It's cleaner. Oh, who's Sean Parker? It's cooler than a million dollars?
Starting point is 00:38:03 A billion dollars. He's Justin Timberlake. He's Justin Timberlake. He's Justin Timberlake in the movie, in the social network. Never seen it. It's good. I smell a newcomer. Truly never seen it. Newcomers.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Is there multiple? Just the social network. Documentary about Instagram. Where it's 10 episodes of me just watching 10 minutes so okay after he wins this race he's arrested he's taken into custody by his former boss from la who now works in florida and we never address that and then he's like okay you're gonna come undercover again and he's like okay let do it. I get to choose my own partner, which I thought was insane. I was like, he no longer works for the Bureau.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Well, they also go to give him that total Chad too. And he like fools him with the name of his own pizzeria on the cup or whatever. And you're like, yeah, that was so weird. I was like, what? Is Paul Walker's, is Brian's character supposed to be so obviously with it that they're like like give this man whatever
Starting point is 00:39:05 he wants that was so slick and then they go to the fucking demo derby to pick up ro that was literally insane also in our like little synopsis he is an argentinian drug lord and yeah that man is white oh for sure he's very white yeah he was i mean he's he's he's in goodwill hunting he's he's he plays a guy from southey and goodwill hunting he's uh look i'm a i'm a cole i'm a cole hauser fan he his family he's from the he's a part of the warner's family he's like he's like one of his great great grandfathers is like Harry Warner or whatever. Wow. Warner Brothers. Oh. He's a good actor but he's not Latino. He sure is. No.
Starting point is 00:39:51 He's a redhead with freckles. Yeah. But you know what? As another white guy I give this performance an A+. I think it's fantastic. That's what we need. More white men approving of other white men doing brownface. The three of us decided that's not racist.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Isn't it a kind of funny bit? I do like the bit that Roman lives in a Winnebago because it's like a loophole for house arrest. That's a really funny. You could just go wherever you want with that argument but you is that real you can't do that you can't be like a little winnebago so i just like pick up and move yeah it's right outside of uh the whorehouse that happens to be my current gps i also love the fight they got in it was like literal just nobody choreographed it they were like just roll around in the dirt for a little bit
Starting point is 00:40:46 if I wanted to apply very good filmmaking to that be like you guys have been friends since you were kids you've been scuffing but it really it is just like roll around we got the shot and get as dirty as possible for the next shot
Starting point is 00:41:03 so you're in? They are so dirty. And then this is fun. And the fact that they get so dirty is important because in the next scene, Brian Connor looks or whatever the fuck his name is. Brian looks exactly like every white kid I went to eighth grade with. He's got got long black shorts and the long white Orange County
Starting point is 00:41:28 chopper shirt on, and you're like, aren't you an adult man? Why are you dressed like that? It's so fucking comical. And Tyrese is in overalls with no shirt or some shit like that. He looks good shirtless.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Well, Brian looks great, too. I mean, they're both good-looking guys's he he looks good shirtless well brian is he brian looks great too i mean they're both they're both good looking guys but he looks so 2003 ish to me he's just he's he's the perfect example of 2003 and i don't want i don't want to speak ill of the dead and i won't because i think that he's i think he's the reason that these this him and tyrese are the reason this movie works because this movie kind of yes this is one of the weaker Fast and the Furious movies. But those two that those two have. And he's Paul Walker is just a lovable guy. He's such a lovable hunk.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Right. You can't you can't help but like the guy. I think he's just such a lovable dude. I mean, that's what it's supposed to be. His thing is that gang like in the narrative of the movie like a gang would allow him in uh he could be leader he could be a good cop bad he could do all this shit and you kind of have to believe that most people like him and you see that like in him that like oh yeah it makes it arguably i know it's railing against it but it makes sense eva mendez is like yeah i'll blow cover to blow you
Starting point is 00:42:41 dude let's go you know like it's. It's like he's so charismatic. You just fall in love with him. And then you're like, and him and Vin Diesel both sort of being so charismatic without actually putting anything out there personality-wise or something. It's like they become these sort of blank molds that we project our like love and worship onto and i think that lead that's part of the love of the franchise and that brian's presence is felt even in the movies that have come out since he's passed like he's still a part of the movies in some way it's so cool i'm crying all right we're back. Oh my God, that was so adorable and so sweet. Nicole, you know that you knew that Paul Walker had died, right?
Starting point is 00:43:32 I guess that's not a movie thing. That's a real life thing. No, that's real life. Yes. Buyers sort of informed on real life. Not fully. Just a little. I just know a little bit of things here and there.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Don't worry about me. Just a few things, mister. No, but I knew he passed away, and I know that they used his brother to do some scenes, and then they used CGI to use him in the car. I think that's in... Seven. Seven.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Yes, because that's the next one I saw. Fuck, the best ending. It's a good ending. It's awesome. I'm getting teary- ending. It's a good ending. But back to Too Fast, Too Furious. I'm getting teary-eyed. Let's get this. That's five movies from now, so hold on.
Starting point is 00:44:11 I was just thinking if Weiger passes away and I gotta use your brother for our podcast and how much better it would be. It would be like a reverse Paul Walker. He's too fun. It wouldn't work. It would be great. Wait, how old is your brother? He's too fun. It wouldn't work it would be great wait how old is your brother he's too fun it wouldn't work my brother's my brother's four years older than me but my brother is just is like
Starting point is 00:44:31 alpha me he's just like he's like a cool charismatic version of me like everyone you know everyone likes him and um he can hold a conversation he knows how to maintain eye contact it's it's it's like attributes that i envy uh but he like and mitch is hung out with him and mitch is like i like just i like him better and i'm just like i know i get it wow wait is he married yeah he's married he got two kids great back to too fast too furious too married two kids Call me when you're single, Mr. White Older and cooler I'm trying to think of a too bad for my
Starting point is 00:45:13 I was going to say two pussies But I only have one Again, I'm sorry for your loss I know you used to have two I used to have two and I lost one tragically in a car crash when I drove my car onto a boat. Okay, so listen. Two pussies. God, I'd be doubly confused.
Starting point is 00:45:34 I wouldn't know what to do twice over. Oh, no. Welcome back to two pussies, a.k.a. doughboys. Pussy's actually a very strong muscle motherfucker. It is. But this bad guy, he makes them do like a test to drive for him. I was like, what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:45:57 Since when do bad guys do this? Tyrese calls it an audition. Which is funny. That's an actual, they're like, just say test or something. Why would these guys know about auditions? Oh,
Starting point is 00:46:09 I guess he's from LA. They know about auditions. They grew up in Barstow. Right. So, that's when he, like, punches the glass of the car,
Starting point is 00:46:18 and I was just like, oh my God, that's so fucking hot. And then, they get to the nightclub, and then this is the rat thing, which I like was this was intense it's upsetting yeah the dude from last man on earth the guy who's in everything that
Starting point is 00:46:31 actor the great he's on uh sons of anarchy as oh that's right he does a shit ton on that he's so good in so many things yeah uh and his name is i know this mark boone jr yes yes mark boone also with he plays a shitty he plays the corrupt partner of um of then whatever his what then like lieutenant uh gordon in batman begins he plays like his partner who's like crooked and batman interrogates him yeah he's got a great like sort of slime ball vibe and also he's he's basically he's basically a Voltron if me and Gabrus come together and we create him, basically. That I get, because I haven't seen any of the movies you guys referenced.
Starting point is 00:47:15 If me and Mitch combined, we'd finally have enough testosterone to be considered sleazy. This part's crazy when Eva Mendes puts her hands over his mouth. I couldn't believe it. She's in too deep. She's trying to fuck Paul Walker. She's trying to kill this woman. But also she does it like
Starting point is 00:47:35 she wasn't sure if it was part of the stage directions. He was like cover his mouth and she's like oh sure. Yes I'll do that. But I'm an that undercover cop you see and the way she does it she just puts like one hand over the other and i was like i don't know lady i went gagging with something i don't know it just seems so unsure i i kind of bought it though because it's like okay i have to go how deep am i gonna go it's like uh you know it remind me of sopranos where uh nicole you're
Starting point is 00:48:06 not gonna get this reference but uh when it remind me of sopranos when big pussy is undercover and or he's he's like he's like you know he's ratting out the his friends and so there's a part where where they whack somebody and big pussy's like well i have to show him part of this but i'll wait till this guy's dead and then i'll shoot him you know it's like the same sort of thing it's like i have to show that i'm kind of down, but I don't want to do anything too criminal. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just heard big pussy and I was like, I'm a character. I'm a surprise.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah, you were like, Nicole, you're not going to get this reference, but you're going to love it. You're going to love the name of this character. You're right. I did. So they get the money. They're hired to love the name of this character. You're right. It is. So they get the money. They're hired to work for this white man in brown face. So, okay. Let's skip the down.
Starting point is 00:48:56 What? Let's skip ahead a little bit. But we set up the rivalry here a little bit between them two and the two other guys who almost win the drag race audition to be hired, but then they do get hired because they're actually undercover for the bad guys as testers. Whatever. They're cronies of Verone.
Starting point is 00:49:16 It's super complicated. It's very complicated. It's too complicated. They are granted way too powerful of a role in this movie. It was just like they're doing so much. I would do in this movie they're like they like it was just like they're doing so much and i would do it too if you're trying to make them a south american gang and you have cole hauser in the lead i say yeah focus on the other guys a little bit but you know i i agree with you there's like a scene at the end and like those two like there's a big getaway
Starting point is 00:49:41 scene or whatever at the end and those two are like in the car. And I'm like, these guys are like still fucking around. Like these two fucking dudes are here. It's like any of the, it's any of like the detective scenes too in this movie where like anytime we cut to a scene where they were talking to the cops, it was just slowed the movie down so much. You're like, we know he's undercover. Just get us the fuck out of here. There's no real stakes.
Starting point is 00:50:02 This is the sequel. But if we didn't have enrique and roberto we wouldn't get that cool scene where one of them gets ejected like a cartoon character from the car that is ejector seat is so great and and there's just the keys of like hey do you have any spare nitrous earlier and we don't know what it's for and then we get the reveal it's so satisfying i love it i missed his his uh light touch on the joke is in case we got someone we don't want sitting there if you know what and he's like too many eyebrows it's like paul drop it we got it we know you're selling it way too hard i'm gonna sell it a little harder in this take i don't know how it's gonna be
Starting point is 00:50:42 sideways and one will be on the door also. Because when we shot this scene. If you were Tyrese, wouldn't you be like, what are you talking about? What are you reading? Bro, what's going on? What? You're going to eject someone? If you're the other guy, you're definitely, if you're Jimmy, you're definitely going to be like, wait, what do you want me to do to do to the car man i got one follow-up you're not doing that i'm jimmy i'm the tech
Starting point is 00:51:09 explain yourself we have to take another break And we're back. Okay, so there's a high-speed chase. Just like it lasts for so long, and there are so many cop cars. In a way where I was like, is all of Florida's police after them? There's a lot of thrilling stuff happens here, because let's talk about this. All the police in Florida are after them. And then they go to. A lot of thrilling stuff happens here. Because let's talk about this. All the police in Florida are after them. Like Nicole is saying. Literally just thousands of police cars.
Starting point is 00:51:51 And all of them just blowing it under pressure. Every single cop is just losing control and crashing. And then a lady flying the helicopter. She was like, I'm Fanny. Yes. I'm the sassy cop watching. i'm the voyeuristic one also like why is this like why did he need drivers to go to the house that he has to get money out of the wall it's just such a confusing the guys who wrote this wrote 310 to yuma like they they wrote like
Starting point is 00:52:22 a movie that people really like. It's just so... They wrote the 310 to Yuma remake. Yes. Sorry. 310 to Yuma remake. Wow. Gamers get them. Which I do love, but it is not full credit.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I was going to say, that's kind of critically acclaimed. It's a wonderfully scripted movie. Yeah. It's a great story. It doesn't make any... I just don't get what's... of critically acclaimed but like wonderfully scripted movie yeah it's a great story it just it doesn't make any i just don't get what's i don't get i don't get the whole plan of this one i don't understand what the fuck is happening now you're talking about the i don't this is one of my favorite things about some of these old movies is when you don't know the bad guy's plan or the good
Starting point is 00:53:00 guy's plan like neither of them makes sense and you're like i normally you're like i don't know what the bad guy's doing but the good guy i think is gonna pretend to be a bad and sneak in or i don't know what the good guy's up to but the bad guy is gonna drop a nuke and we can figure that so the good guy but this is a movie where you're like i don't understand either plan and then when it's revealed what the good guy's plan is that involves like all right tej i need you to call in a favor you got it bro what is it do you have a thousand friends that want to commit a felony yeah trash their cars too yeah for you fuck yeah i mean it was so many people and then also i was like yes it's a garage
Starting point is 00:53:38 there's a wall in a wall it's not infinity there's not a million cars that could come out of a garage no also why why would these people why why was barbershop why was the the guy from barbershop i was orange julius why were they helping jack orange julius all we know about them is that they lost money to these guys anyway like why why are they helping out like i feel like you'd get in big trouble but then also it's revealed that like once they're good to go at the end that those people are released to it just it just is so confusing about like who is what is happening or who's in trouble or why they're going to be in trouble and also don't don't you think it's crazy like they know the colors like the stunt would be even cooler if they all the cars were purple and yellow yeah yes like in my head i was like oh it would be an even i mean i love that they went multi-colored
Starting point is 00:54:31 because uh it just looked great visually but a bunch of blue and yellow cars would be a cooler stunt because then it would be like harder because then you'd truly be like who the fuck is it but then i loved that sookie and ludicrous were in their cars and then they were in the old muscle cars i was like that's very cool that i like ludicrous was this this was crazy to me he was only 26 when they filmed this movie or maybe 25 oh yeah like 25 so fucking young and they dude and think about his life at At this moment, he's like a big rapper doing this small thing in a movie. He has no idea in 10 years
Starting point is 00:55:11 he's going to be mostly known as a blockbuster actor and host of Fear Factor. He'll be like, and if you told him then, I'm like, you're going to host Fear Factor, he'd go, the show with that guy with hair, Joe Rogan, and it's like, oh, and let me, you're going to host Fear Factor. He'd go, the show with that guy with hair, Joe Rogan.
Starting point is 00:55:30 And it's like, oh, and let me tell you where that guy ends up in 10 or 20 years. If you think it's crazy where you go, Tej, wait till you hear where Joe Rogan goes. It's a great point because I remember when it was like, oh, Ludacris is in the second. And it was that sort of thing where you're like, oh, it's kind of the end of the road for his like and so he felt old he felt like an old rapper at that point that was getting into he's gonna do like movie cameos and stuff and make you know have his have have like too fast too furious which by the way plays in a scene that he's in yeah his own music is playing and that rules that's alpha alpha fucking level shit. And also, he's in charge of racing on land and sea. He's racing fucking jet skis and shit.
Starting point is 00:56:13 But he's fucking 25. He's 20. That made me feel fucking old as shit. Yeah, it's a thing you don't want to think about too much. But I will say that, is there a move bitch line in this? I feel like there is, right? Doesn't someone say move bitch to him? Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Suki says move bitch. I thought that that was a little nod to move bitch. Yeah, it's a little nod. I liked it. I thought that was fun. I got that one. I got that one. I'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm sorry not to derail us even more but nick you said when we were starting you were like there's no video right we were like no thank god and you
Starting point is 00:56:54 were like okay good because people roast me for my boxes i can read what the sign that's labeling your box and it says nick's sports cards and English essays. My parents visited and brought me a box. I don't know why they saved my English essays. Adorable. They're going straight in the dumpster once I sort it. But sports cards might have some value. It's crazy, though, because that box is like arguably if it also had video games games and podcasts in it it would be your personality
Starting point is 00:57:27 it's like oh sports cards yes i memorized all the statistics for my la lakers and it's like in english essays yes i can pretend to be a human writer and work in hollywood america i have a question for you which which is a better Ludacris song? Too Fast, Too Furious, I'm Too Fast for You All, or the Austin Powers one that's like the number one shot. Do you know that one? He has an Austin Powers song. Does he?
Starting point is 00:58:00 Oh, he certainly does. You never heard it before? I don't know if I have. I'm sure I have. It has like the Austin Powers. It's like, I trust Mitch on all things music, all things Austin Powers.
Starting point is 00:58:15 I trust you on this. Ludacris being super young in this movie makes sense because he looks fucking hot yeah he looks great his skin looks incredible yes he's like like he's in fast nine i saw it in the theaters with tiff and she my wife and she just my lovely wife tiffany she literally just goes holy shit he's so hot and i'm like he's like statuesque in the new one. He looks fucking amazing. I can't wait to see it. Well, I mean, I'll see it soon. Seven weeks from now.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Yeah, seven weeks from now, I'll see it, baby. So this movie kind of like, you know, the climax happens when Brian drives this Camaro onto a yacht and then he shoots the bad guy. And then Eva Mendez is like, don't get up. And then he shoots the bad guy and then Eva Mendez is like, don't get up. And then he gets arrested. And then we find out that Brian and Roman stole money.
Starting point is 00:59:14 This is my favorite part of the movie. They do like a quadruple cross or whatever where they go like, they say to him, it's like, we got the three bags. He's like, great. You guys are all free. He's like, they say to him, it's like, we got the three bags. He's like, great. You guys are all free.
Starting point is 00:59:28 He's like, are you sure? And all my friends, they're all free. And he's like, yeah. He's like, okay, good. Then here's three more bags. There's actually six bags. But now that we know you're on, and they're like, oh, cool.
Starting point is 00:59:36 And he shakes their hands. They walk away. And like the little kids that they're supposed to be friends since, they turn the corner and they just both reveal that they stole money separately. And that's like such a cute fucking and even roman's line he literally laughs through it like a little kid he's like brian we've got that fucking money
Starting point is 00:59:56 you barely understand him and you're like that rules he's jammed into his pants but also they didn't get far enough away. Somebody heard them. Just like right after Eva Longoria, or not Eva Longoria, Eva Mendez is on the yacht. They leave. They barely leave. And he's like, what is she doing here? And I was like, they heard you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Also, they definitely heard her from the dock. A boat is like, what's the fucking boat walls made out of? He's banging her out. The dock is fucking rocking back. My thought is why did the turning in the three bags of cash is like the least fast and furious shit I've ever seen in my life. Why? Why?
Starting point is 01:00:36 Like they should have gotten away with those three bags of cash. That's what fast and the furious is about. He just turns them in and then they try to steal some in their pants. That's fucking. I assume there was like an element of Paul Walker, like, like Tyrese is like trying to go straight. Right. And, or, or at least it's just trying to, you know, he's, he's under house arrest.
Starting point is 01:00:54 He doesn't want to go back in the slammer. And then, and then Paul Walker's character, it was a former cop. I bought it. I bought that. They would be like, okay, well, we'll, we'll semi comply, or at least we'll give the appearances of compliance. We're not going to like make a break for it we're just gonna skim a little off the top no what was what mitch you're you're too heavily weighing movies that came after this that kind of established the weird robin hood part of the movies that come in later where it's
Starting point is 01:01:18 like and that money has been redistributed to the people of the dominican republic or whatever that you know like that's shit that happens in later movies but that's not in the dna yet this is still like uh we need them to be good guys it's still old hollywood bad old hollywood like right to be good guys we need to root for them in three when we recast them all with asian people we need to show how good they are by showing how cooperative they are with the police yes who of course are the best arbiters of who is good and who is bad yeah markham who's like trying to arrest them it's that that stuff is still so weird i don't know why those people would help him i guess it is just fucking over the cops which is the plus side to them helping him out but like ludicrous is even
Starting point is 01:02:00 talking to him over the walkie-talkie after gets arrested. It's like such, it's just, it's literally like Brian, you owe me. And he's like, wait, you're working with Brian. He's like, I mean,
Starting point is 01:02:10 uh, cover story. But Brian's also on the cop side. There's so much confusion with that shit. A lot of confusion. It's fucking, it's, it's,
Starting point is 01:02:19 it's, that is, that is the worst part of the movie. It's, it just, it leans into it enough that they, you don't, they're like, yeah, we know it's muddans into it enough that they you they're like yeah we
Starting point is 01:02:25 know it's muddied and confusing but cute colors cars going everywhere now we're on the boat you know what i mean like you kind of just roll with it uh we we literally were able to talk through like the plot of this movie in six seconds like we the other 59 minutes we're dedicated to just bullshitting because the plot in this movie is they drive here, they drive there, they drive there, and they drive there. And the last there is a boat. You know what? It's a 108-minute movie that feels too long. It's way too long.
Starting point is 01:02:56 And then also they recap everything with computer animation. They do a computer animated recap at the end of the movie, which is – It looks like shit. It looks like absolute shit yeah yeah um no it's the the the plot the plot is awful but i do think it works as kind of a friendship movie because tyrese and paul walker are they're so believable as two likable nice guys you know what i mean like they're just, they're, they're likable dudes. Now via Paul Walker, we now love both Tyrese and, uh, Dom Toretto who are now in the movies together without Paul,
Starting point is 01:03:32 but Paul is the linking factor between them, despite Vin being the linking factor between the whole movie. But we're building on that and not a lot of movies get a chance to do this. Like it's, it's like you were saying, Nick, it's sort of like the proto, uh, cinematic universe because they don't know they're doing it but they're they're making this is thor and now they're gonna make fucking doctor strange and fast five is gonna be their
Starting point is 01:03:56 avengers without it being fucking whack i mean it'll be as as weirdly asexual as the avengers oh wait that was something i meant to talk to you about this in every movie buyer so i'm glad i Be as weirdly asexual as the Avengers. Oh, wait. I meant to talk to you about this in every movie, Byer, so I'm glad I accidentally... Okay. How did you feel about the sort of sexiness or sexuality of this movie? Because as we were saying,
Starting point is 01:04:18 the Fast movies have a weird sort of aggressive PG-13 sexuality to them. It is like, guys like guys we're gonna be a little sexy but not too much tee hee hee better close the door yeah yeah because like even mendes is hot but like wasn't sexy in the movie and then uh devin ioki was like vaguely sexy with like a short skirt, but like nobody's overtly sexy. And then there was no sex. No, no sex at all. Well, like MTV was mentioned earlier. And it's like it's kind of like the spring break MTV sort of approach of like here's an establishing shot where we've got a few women in bikinis and then we're just going to get to business. Literally, we're going to cut to an establishing
Starting point is 01:05:06 shot of ladies in bikinis and zoom in to a white guy in a too big t-shirt and sunglasses. Literally, you're right, Nick. It's the exact editing style of this movie. You know what I want more of? I want more of that old
Starting point is 01:05:22 Italian man who they race against and get his cars. They race against that Italian guy who they were in a competition with to get the job from Kohlhauser with this Italian guy. And then he comes back later and they race him for his cars. He also just seems like a nice guy. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. They race him. He plays chicken with him.
Starting point is 01:05:42 He's such a dick move. Yeah, that was pretty rude paul walker is a fucking crazy so he's running he's gonna run him down i believe their names are darden and corpy darden and corp i like darden and corpy these old like these they stand out for how old and strange they are like they don't fit in this universe right but he is like sort of in like a muscle t2 like he still has to be cool miami and it's funny you're right he is sort of in a muscle tea, too. He still has to be cool Miami. And it's funny. You're right. He's like a dad's friend who's an actor.
Starting point is 01:06:09 He wants to be in the movie. It's like, well, play the Italian driving bag. Yeah, it feels like maybe he was a stunt guy or something. Bring him back. Bring back Eva Mendes and bring back Cole Hauser and make him white this time. Bring them all back. Yeah, dust him off and let him be white. Varun, what happened to you?
Starting point is 01:06:27 No, it's Varun now. I like how you characterized them as old fucks, Mitch. I just looked up one of the actors was 34 when this movie was made. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:06:40 There you go. Really? Yeah. I was 34 when I saw this movie. We would look old in Fast and the Furious now, Nick. If you or I were in it. It's true. Yeah, the guys in it are 10 years older than me,
Starting point is 01:06:54 and they all look younger than I do. Well, when you got money and a fucking facialist, you'll look great. Oh, we know. Look at you, girl. Specialist, you'll look great. Oh, we know. Look at you, girl.
Starting point is 01:07:09 You have a very extremely beautiful professional makeup on right now. But it's funny to say, like, I have a professional glam squad. When the cars are revving, you see me put my seatbelt extender on in the fucking race scenes. Yeah, my dropped car is just scraping the entire drive.
Starting point is 01:07:28 I'm just stuck on going up the drawbridge. Truly, if the three of us were in a car, it would just be like, too slow, too sad. Just scraping. Oh my god. How depressing. Ma'am, do you know why i pulled you 11 people over it's only three of you oh christ continue on we're using all the seatbelts somehow oh you best put your seatbelt
Starting point is 01:08:05 Buyer, you called it out before when Roman and Brian use one too many back and forths on every kind of like bit interaction. And it's always too brief. This, when they're driving to hit the boat, they do go,
Starting point is 01:08:20 all right, you crazy. He's like, strap up, seatbelt. You're going to do it? I'm going to do it. And they were like, put up, seatbelt. You're going to do it? I'm going to do it. Yeah. And they were like, put it all in the movie. All of it goes in. Yeah, right. Don't cut a thing.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Yeah. It's so long. It's so funny. It's like, they're going 100 miles an hour on a dirt road aiming for a moving boat. It's like, all right, we're settled. Put the fucking seatbelt on. We're going, bro. By the way, just the weird electric going bro that by by the way just the
Starting point is 01:08:46 weird electric hooks that they shoot into the car like these weird yeah and that's never addressed yeah it's so they feel like future hooks that like fuck up cars maybe they exist maybe they exist i don't know if they do exist but do you not think they do i think it's a completely made up thing that they don't ever explain it's just, let me hang out of the car and rip it out of my car and throw it into a cop car. And then that cop car can't go no more. In Fast Six, they do bring back those, the British squad has the little EMPs that land on the hood and shut the computers off.
Starting point is 01:09:19 So they bring the tech back, but it's slicker and looks way less like Emperor Palpatine's lightning i get that reference yes there you go shit i do because i i remember i remember that speaking of references how how do you like them how about them apples is they say how do you like them apples right doesn't tyree say it he's like how do you like those apples that phrase existed yeah well what the fuck goodwill hunting came out the goodwill hunting came out a few years before I made it famous no I think it was well known before that oh fuck off this is bullshit how do you like them apples yeah I think that's a thing
Starting point is 01:10:01 people are trying to say like Kohlhauser, who has worked on Good Will Hunting, was there for the filming of that scene, was like, and then went over and told Roman, Tyrese, to say that in this movie? It's a nod. It's a little nod. I think it's a nod. He pitched an all for another actor?
Starting point is 01:10:17 If I can quote IMDb, zero out of four find that interesting. Well, this is interesting. Critically, the film was not well received it currently has a 36 percent uh fresh rating on rotten tomatoes and a critic from the kansas city star said just because you give an old car a new paint job doesn't mean it runs better wow jesus wow you hit the car analogy better than the franchise itself, arguably. Salty. A little bit of trivia. I'll throw out a little trivia
Starting point is 01:10:49 while you hold on to that thought, Byron. So much neon lighting was used in the cars that they had to have a technical specialist on set who specializes exclusively in shooting neon on film. Wow. How do you find that person?
Starting point is 01:11:05 Ronnie got his second month of work ever in life. Holy shit, I haven't worked since Tron. So this was number one at the box office. It earned 50 million during its opening weekend. And it, oh my God, it earned $ 236 million dollars worldwide a big success that's huge and singleton doesn't direct a ton after this and he's he does four brothers next which rules also yeah but he but he but why didn't why didn't singleton direct more after that i mean just as a sign of hollywood maybe he was sleepy he could he could have you know what or maybe he
Starting point is 01:11:43 got it maybe it was about the family maybe it was a time with the family i could have but i don't i don't know why he didn't he didn't do more stuff after like four brothers and stuff i know he did some tv i think maybe that's where that's right and then i think he like uh is like a creator or ep on snowfall that fx show that people think he's still also 50 cent was considered for the part later taken by tyrese imagine 50 cent is a roman pierce oh man wow thank you yeah let's remember this after like the sixth movie let's and and like go like imagine if it was 50 cent in this last movie what that would be like because it it it doesn't vibe for me i like terese way too much give me that baby boy give me that womb it's a nice warm womb i want the baby boy i love the
Starting point is 01:12:30 warm womb baby give me that warm womb one day i'll get that reference one day well we've come to the end mitch we Weiger, what would you like to promote? Check out the Doughboys, a podcast about chain restaurants. You've both been on it. It's me and Mitch. At DoughboysPod on Twitter, DoughboysPodcast on Instagram. And check out Mitch's movie. Yeah, check out The Tomorrow War on Amazon Prime.
Starting point is 01:13:00 And check out Baby Boy. It's a fun movie where you see an adult man in a womb. We were talking about it a bit beforehand, but you should watch it. It's like, and also you get why like Tyrese should be a star. Yeah. Tyrese's first role I think. It's just like first movie role or first big movie role at least. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:17 He's really great. He fucking knocks it out of the park. Also, a nice tune, Joe Buttons' Pump It Up. You should give that a listen. It's featured in Too Fast, Too Furious. That one, that I know. That's in the rotation. Well, we don't have any reviews yet, but if you write us reviews, because we'll pick some,
Starting point is 01:13:40 yeah, just write. Write us reviews so we have some way to interact with you guys okay you want us to interact with you write a review yeah we'll fucking talk to you it'll be great we'll say your dumb handle out loud how fun will that be and you'll cream your jeans
Starting point is 01:13:56 you'll be so excited creamed jeans all around mamacita you sound like a mafia guy threatening someone with writing in it's insane. Go ahead, write in. You should write into the show. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Come, have a seat. No, no, no. We're all friends here at this restaurant. No, come sit down. You're invited to a new course with us. Well, we'll be back next week with the Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. Does it take place in Tokyo? Mostly. Ooh, she place in Tokyo? Mostly.
Starting point is 01:14:25 Ooh, she's going on a trip. Bye-bye. Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.

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