Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Avengers: Infinity War (w/ Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Well, well, well - if it isn't last season's Newcomers host Gabrus, reunited with Lauren and Nicole once again, not unlike the way the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy join forces in this week's MCU installment. We totally planned it that way! Join us, and them, as they fight to protect all the Infinity Stones (not unlike Croc Jibbitz) from the evil grasp of evil Thanos. Next week's movie: Captain Marvel (2019) Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. There was an idea. To bring together a group of remarkable people. To see if we could become something more. So when they needed us, we could fight the battles. That they never could. In time, you will know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail all the same. Dread it.

Run from it. Destiny still arrives. Evacuate the city. Engage all defenses. And get this man a shield. Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe. But this does put a smile on my face. Who the hell are you guys? Wow. This is another episode of Newcomers. I simply can't believe it.

Marvel. Marvel, Marvel, Marvel. This is the 15th episode of our fifth season. I feel like I've been watching these movies for a fucking year. They're so long. We have been. It's been a very long time. I'm Lauren Lapkus.

I'm Nicole Byer. We're doing 20 episodes this season. It won't cover everything in the franchise, but if we did that, we'd be here all of our lives. We can't do that. We can't do that. That's terrible. Today we're discussing the third Avengers movie, Avengers Infinity War 2018. I got really confused in the beginning because I was like, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Am I watching the wrong one? I got scared I was

watching the wrong one because at one point they said Endgame and I went, oh fuck, is this Endgame? And it's pretty deep in the movie. And I was like, no. I know. I literally was like, check and make sure. Got scared. Well, Infinity War is available with a subscription to Disney+. You can watch it for a fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, Vudu. We're going to spoil the whole fucking thing.

Yeah, we are. We're going to tell you every little thing that happens. And we're so excited for our guest today, John Gabrus. I don't say John, okay? And I don't feel right when I say John. It's weird. And I'm going to tell you about this man before he speaks. He's a comedian and actor that you've heard on Comedy Bang Bang, High and Mighty, his

fabulous podcast here on HeadGum, and right here on last year's season of Newcomers Fast and the Furious. Fast and Furious. What? Fast and the Furious. Fast and Furious. What? Fast and the Furious? Fast and Furious. Fast and the Furious. Filling in for me.

I wasn't here, so I don't know what it's called. I was there, and I'm still not sure. The Fast Franchise. Or the Fast Saga, whatever you guys want. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Did you not get my notes? Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. He also has a new scripted series premiering in July on HeadGum called Corked. And he also has a new show coming out later. What was that called? It's called 101 Places to Party Before You Die. That looks like so much fun. It was so much fun.

I have no idea if it'll translate for the audience, but it was one of the best. I'm sure it will. It was hands down the best job I've ever had. I don't give a fuck if people don't like it. It's you and Adam Pally traveling around doing fun shit, like getting drunk in different cities and whatnot. Correct.

Yeah, that sounds great. It's right there in the title. It's not that deep. Would you expect something, a deep exploration of society from me and Pally? Yeah. I would love it if you got wasted and interviewed people of the town and be like, how was the Alamo? I don't fucking know.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's something interesting. Interviewing the people about how the Alamo was. That's a good idea. Ask Pee Wee Herman. Well, thanks for being here today.

We're very excited to talk about Infinity War with you. Well, thanks for being here today. We're very excited to talk about Infinity War with you. I, too, checked my email three times before I settled down to watch this movie because I'm like, if I accidentally watch the wrong two-and-a-half-hour brick of Avengers, I'm going to swallow a fucking bullet. I know. Luckily, I watched the right one. You guys started saying Endgame.

I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, no. Oh, no. Yeah. It's a like the two movies together are like a six hour brick where, you know, little tiny plot moves happen every 25 minutes. So I I'm excited to talk to you guys. Just watching this movie last night. I'm going, I can't believe these two are. And I'm like, no, hilarious.

I'm eight minutes into the movie and I'm going, there's no way they're still paying attention. There's no way. I was so confused. I had to focus. And Mike was watching it with me and he was like, there was a point where he was like, keep watching. Watch this part. Watch this part. And he's like, you can't look away. You can't look

down. You can't look around. You have to watch. I was like, shut up. You're really the worst. And he was like, I'm helping you do your job. And I was you're right yeah i got up at one point to get cookies and there was a bunch of like pew pew and i was like i should rewind it i know but it's hard when you want to get up and and then you you gotta go back or you don't and then you'll find out what happened right now when we talk about it yeah this, this was tough. Gabriels, what is your experience with Marvel? Are you a fucking nerd? I am a nerd. Yes. And I really did kind of enjoy the Marvel movies. I'm tired of them now, like everyone with the ubiquity of the fucking Marvel movies and Marvel style movies and

everything being Marvel. And it's worn on me but this movie and end game were like my sort of last hurrah with the marvel cinematic universe so i i did enjoy these did i have any desire to re-watch these movies now short answer no quick answer love newcomers, so... Yeah. But for real, like, it's just these movies feel like riding a rollercoaster where you're like, did you have fun? You're like, yeah, I think so. And then it's like you want to get online and wait two and a half hours

for a little thrill again? You're like, not at all. Let's go get some fucking snacks. It's actually the perfect analogy for that because it's two and a half hours to watch the film and it feels like a theme park ride in that you don't give a fuck about anyone or anything but you're like whoa that was cool yeah no i mean i definitely had some moments that i thought were like kind of interesting in this one but look we've said before we don't love the avengers

getting together i don't love when they all do something together. No, there's too fucking many of them. There's too many of them. Scarlett Johansson was just running around. I mean, I'm just like, wait. And this wig. This wig. But that one was maybe the best one.

So this one was properly ventilated and you could see a part, but they didn't cut her a hairline. They just cut it straight across. That's not a hairline. I didn't notice that. It made me so angry. She has like the little boy's haircut when a mom just cut it straight across. That's not a hairline. It made me so angry. She has like the little boy's haircut when a mom just cuts it for the first time. It's like

you just cut around the forehead so you're like, ah, there you go. It's out of your eyes. You look like a page boy. Nuts. And then all of Thanos' friends were the ugliest motherfuckers. I was like, who are these people and where do they come from

yeah i did not know about them yeah i did not know about them and i know i knew who thanos was i read the infinity gauntlet comic book series that came out in the 90s that this storyline is based on where thanos gathers the stones i've read i own that i bought it on ebay when i was like 20 something years old because i read it when i a kid. And of course my mom threw it out. But I got to say my overall, my major complaint with MCU is the bad guys. Cause they just keep becoming like bigger and more complicated in a way that's not appealing where you're like,

how is Spider-Man and Dr. Strange going to kill this like celestial alien who can do whatever they want? Like they play the game too. It's too weird how they play it in my book. Like Guardians of the Galaxy. It's like, it's this eternal space beast Ronan. It's this eternal space. And it's like, we just keep getting to like bigger and bigger space beasts until it's Thanos who's sort of like, I'm here to kill half of everybody. And everyone's like, fuck, we've got to stop him. Which is so confusing. Why half? Why half?

Yeah, like, what the fuck? Why not all? And I also was like, I don't like how CGI he is, because I felt like if he was more- You don't like the ball bag face? Like the purplish ball bag face that they let him rock? He's like an eggplant head. He's got like a legit scrotum for a chin. It's like wrinkled in the exact pattern, mind you.

Actually, I only have one ball. I should have never given the Russo brothers a mold of my scrotum. I didn't know what they were going to do. Yours has very deep vertical lines that I'm concerned about. You're telling me. I feel like I need to get out of the pool when I look at it. And it is purple, right?

Yeah, unfortunately. I don't know what happened. A lot of peloton beat the shit out of it but that being said um i guess i would have appreciated if he was a little more real like i because i think that's part of why it's like it feels like there's a it's a lost cause because he's just like this beast but i did sort of like when he was collecting all the gems i liked it too it felt like he was like a pretty pretty princess and he was like let me get more of my gems I mean it's the most basic in the best way it's like the most basic kids movie plot is like if the bad guy gets all five rocks he wins and it's like we must stop him from getting the

fifth rock oh no he got the fifth rock when he got that rock out of that guy's head I was like this is fucked up yeah that was really upsetting and also grizelda what's her name fucking grizel goes who's the green lady gamora when she's like a kid oh famously named for a place that was nuked because of anal sex oh yeah sodom and gamora from the bible oh how funny maybe that's why he killed half her people because they were sodomites but when he was like that was about i don't know that i don't know the bible either i'm like half remembering something i feel like they got murdered because they were like yes they were yeah lying with me i mean they were destroyed by God for their wickedness. Okay, but what kind?

The hottest kind. Give me more details. I don't know, this Bible should be a movie. But when he murdered half of her family or whatever, and then he was like, let's have a fun little pep talk. Don't look over there. Here's a knife. I was like, what is this scene?

I agree. Why did he kill half? Do we know why? fun little pep talk don't look over there here's a knife i was like what is this scene i agree and the half why did he kill half do we know why his justification everyone's bellies were empty that's what's dicey about the whole movie is that his just at one point yeah he's literally the world was like everyone's eyes were full of dreams and their bellies were empty so i decided to murder half of everybody oh more or less yeah he he thinks that having the population will allow there to be more recess resources for the other but then at that like the argument also makes no sense because it's like there's probably a calculation where you can get rid of a quarter and still have enough recess resources or fuck it get

rid of 75 and have tons of resources for everyone like his his own argument makes no sense and then on top of it it seems pretty arbitrary to like who gets to go and i know it's a it's random i know well because at first i was going oh we're not going to lose any mains it's going to be just these random side people who are going to disappear and i was going oh no we've got some mains disappearing here i'm getting a little nervous you know and then at the end when that's in that scene at the end like with um nick fury i was like oh really yeah and i was like but where are they going they're not dying right because they're not all dead i think they are dying i think he's like murdering them but they won't be in future films they are ceasing to exist uh look we're spoiling

stuff uh so i don't want to go through this let's talk about that at the end, I guess. We should first do our daily bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bugle. Wow, a beautiful song to kick it off. And this is our news segment, and we're going to recap what's going on in the MCU. So Disney Plus put up New Jersey-themed billboards for Ms. Marvel in the Garden State where the show takes place,

and they have these big Welcome to New Jersey billboards but it says Disney Plus on top of it and Miss Marvel on top of it and then she's sitting on top of it. That must be so confusing if you're driving through Jersey. It is, right? It's like you've been welcomed a hundred times. I know. They kind of covered it up with like information but it also just makes you think

it really is welcoming you to New Jersey. Easy way to prevent having to deal with that is stay the fuck out of New Jersey. I mean, it is a trash state from which I am from. It's a double win if you get the fuck out of there. Here's another piece of news. Two upcoming Marvel Studio films have swapped release dates. Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania,

previously dated for July 28th, 2023 2023 will now come out four months earlier on february 17th the captain marvel sequel the marvels previously on that february date will now go to july 28th next year interesting how much do you give a shit about that i don't care i couldn't care less i don't understand why they're switching though yeah i don't know it's all it's It's all arbitrary. And it's just like they put out, we'll talk about it another time, but they put out like the Spider-Man movie before the Doctor Strange movie that establishes the multiverse.

Like they've had to do some judging because of the pandemic and storylines. But it seems so tight, the portions you've watched so far. I mean, it's hard to keep track of but it does introduce the characters in a pretty steady way and after going off of ragnarok and guardians of the galaxy and then watching this movie you kind of start to see how the pieces are connecting but i think after end game it's sort of like all right now we're starting a new shit and like the people you half the population, they're dealing with the consequences of half the population disappearing. I think it loses its wheels after Endgame, and I don't think it has a strong grasp leading up to Endgame.

But I do think this is the fun run here that you're in. And now the Marvels, is that like Captain Marvel's family? Yeah, I hope it's about her family. I believe it's Captain Marvel, but is Brie Larson like pass her power on to the sidekick? She's the new Captain Marvel, right? Yeah, what do you know? Yes. So there's a couple different characters in Marvel Comics that have had like the Captain Marvel mantle. So yeah, it'll be Brie Larson and then a character

named Monica Rambeau who was introduced in WandaVision and then Miss Marvel, Kamala Khan, whose show premieres in like a week or two. I really wish it was like

the Marvels. It was like Roseanne except superheroes. That is what WandaVision is in a weird way. When you get to it, WandaVision is in a weird way. When you get to it, WandaVision is like a throwback sitcom starring Wanda and Vision.

The whole thing is? I thought it was... It's really actually one of the most interesting things they do. Whether it's good or bad is up to... I thought that it was... Parts of it were like that, but it's not all like that. Yeah, it's sort of like it's meta

in that it's a TV show and that they're in and out of. But if you grew up on sitcoms, which, Lapkus, I feel like you may have been. Maybe. Maybe you and I did a little. Raised by TV. We might have done a little podcast. Behind the stitcher wall.

Yeah, exactly. Good luck figuring that out. Good luck figuring out how to access it. And also don't, because I haven't seen a dime from that. Yeah, it's okay. You don't have to go out of your way. Stay with HeadGum, baby.

But if you were raised by TV, I think you'll like WandaVision. I do think that one might be appealing to me. We're going to watch a little bit of that later, right? I think four episodes. That's plenty. Well, great. My deal was that if they watched four episodes, that's still shorter than any of these movies.

Yeah. That's fair. And I think that'll give them, that's a good idea of what the show is. Yeah. And you'll meet Monica Rambeau. Yeah. Oh, good. She's a cool character.

Okay. Well, another little bit of news is that Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 director James gunn tweeted that filming had wrapped on the upcoming third entry into the series and teased that there is at least one unannounced actor that fans do not yet know about one one that we do know about who i'm a big fan of is will poulter uh i love i love that actor oh he's a a young man right yeah he's a young young blonde guy he's in mid somar and uh detroit he's in a lot of stuff but he, he's a young blonde guy. He's in Midsommar and Detroit. He's in a lot of stuff, but he's I think going to be Adam Warlock, which is a very good character. Who's Adam Warlock?

A very cool space celestial character in Marvel. I mean, cool in the comic books that I read when I was 17 years old. God knows how a children's TV program will portray him in the movie that's the thing i you forget about these movies because the way society treats them then you watch this movie and

you're like right this is a kid's movie yeah but like not all of them are like the last doctor strange was not for children okay and they said asshole twice in this movie they did you counted yeah well the first time I went, huh. Wow. You rewatched it, right? Yeah. I was like, say it again. I love when people curse.

But the second time I heard it, I said, why is asshole the word we've decided is okay to say? People say it on basically network TV at this point. Yep. Why asshole? Why? I'm like, there's so many other more fun words. Like what? I think it's because it so many other more fun words. Like what? I think it's because

it's medical. Like, oh my, I have an issue with my asshole. That's not medical. No. You go to the doctor and you say like,

my pussy hurts and my asshole burns. My pussy hurts and my asshole soars hell. Yeah. What are the technical terms? My titties? Well,

of course, it starts in my neck, hits the back, and then continues on to my pussy end. Asshole. All right. Well, we've got to take a quick break, and we'll be back with so much Infinity War.

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And we're back. Okay, this movie. This movie. This movie was two and a half hours long, and it was written by Christopher Marcus and Stephen McFeely and directed by Anthony and Joe Russo and released on April 27, 2018. I also have a question. Anthony and Joe Russo, brothers?

Yes. I don't think you should say Anthony and Joe Russo. I think it should be Anthony Russo and Joe Russo. You're not a married couple. I agree. In the credits it said that and I thought, what's the deal with that? Right, right. Or they should get a title like the

Russo brothers. Because that's pretty much what everyone called. Those dudes, I don't know about their start, but one of their first gigs that everyone got to know them on was Community. Really? Because I know those names. Yeah, you've probably worked with them as a guest star at some point. Not on Community, but maybe on something.

Or a guest director from them coming on to a show you guys were on. Yeah, I've got to say, they really broke free. And they're doing pretty well. Yeah, they're doing okay. I would say they've made quite a name for themselves. Yeah. A big old splash in the movies. Cause they did,

um, uh, civil, no, not civil war. They did a fucking captain America one. Yeah. They did both of them.

They did winter soldier and civil war. Oh, okay. Which are, I think, I think those are civil war is one of the better ones. It's one of the more fun. You guys did this movie already, right?

The airplane hangar fight is so fun when Ant-Man grows. That's fun. Okay, never mind. Let's get back to this one. No, I mean, we love it. Remembering is another thing. Wait, what about Ant-Man growing? Honestly,

honestly, don't worry about it. I'm starting to feel like a listener of this, but I'm going to go on the Reddit and be like, these fucking bitches don't pay attention to anything! There's just so much. I wish they would have real fans on that really do this stuff!

So you have checked out the thread. Despite everything I know and everything I've learned, I still, really do this stuff. So you have checked out the thread. Oh yeah. Despite everything I know and everything I've learned, I still, every once in a while, put my finger in the electrical socket that is reading. I know.

I know. Sometimes I do that too. And I think, why? There's a nice man on Twitter who keeps tweeting at me things to watch before we record. And I'm like, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no i'm like no no no no no how about just the movie i have to talk about which i do not and fully enjoy so do not add hey if you if you hate this movie here's some extra homework to go with get the fuck out of here dude okay so let's jump into the plot of this yes two and a half hour part one shut up it's so wild that they were like we can't tell this story in under two hours because i think they could i could find some places i think so too

a little bit of fat all right well in space the black order or children of thanos attack the asgardian refugee ship headed for earth as we saw at the end of Thor Ragnarok, and killed 50% of the passengers on board. Thanos reveals that he has acquired the Power Stone, and with the help of the Infinity Gauntlet, he seeks to wield all six Infinity Stones. He tortures Thor until Loki hands over the Tesseract, which hosts the Space Stone. They fight back.

Heimdall summons the Bifrost to send Hulk, all these old names we're bringing back, to send Hulk to Earth. That's Idris. Oh yeah, and Hulk had a lot of really weird moments in this movie. So many weird moments. Oh my god, okay. And Thanos kills him.

Heimdall? Or Hulk? Loki pretends to pledge loyalty to Thanos and then attempts to stab him. And Thanos kills him too and takes the Tesseract. Two stones down, four to go. Okay, so when he fucking he fucking kills Thanos I was like they don't give a shit about nobody in this franchise but then I was like doesn't Loki have his own series but then I was like oh maybe his series takes place before that I don't fucking know yeah yeah you'll see and the multiverse skews everything up too but uh we're Loki's like a bad guy two movies ago how much are we supposed to

give a shit about him because he's bad but then he helps thor and and when he's in ragnarok he's all funny i'm like i ragnarok kind of threw me off for like yes it was it was one of my favorite movies that we've watched but i was like it's totally different than all of them yeah that's why i liked it he had the ability to be funny and stuff. And then like in these movies, like I'm not funny anymore. I don't ever make a joke again. Like Thor is not funny in this. No, he's not.

He's just like really hell bent on like getting that fucking hammer back. I know. And it's kind of sad. Yeah. I'm like, you're nothing without your hammer. Oh, my God. God bless. He really started to look pretty pathetic

I will say and there can I also say there were some moments I just have to brag a little bit where I was predicting lines and plot points

wow I literally go oh he's gonna and then I would just like say the line and then they would say it and then I was I was like oh no

now he's gonna make himself the axe out of the part of himself and then I was like here we go I mean wow you called Groot becoming the handle for Stormbreaker?

I did. I'm assuming you used all those correct terminologies. I did. You're like, Mike, wake up! Look! Groot is going to be the handle for Stormbreaker! He was yelling at me to wake up but I was asleep going, Groot's the handle! Groot's the handle! You were in like a fever.

Wait, Groot was like a teenager I know because we skipped the part where he was a baby because we didn't watch Thor 2 or Guardians 2 in a pot right and now he's a teen who plays video games he like sacrifices himself at the end of Guardians 1 and then has to be reborn we are Groot and I cried

I know that really got you I'm glad you guys skipped guardians too that's one of my least favorite of this okay good uh marvel phase yeah but i i love even though it features kurt russell who's like you know a legend but i'm glad you guys jumped to this isn't kurt russell in that christmas movie i enjoyed so much probably yeah he really is russell as santa claus uh yes christmas movie i enjoyed so much. Probably. Yeah, he really is. Kurt Russell as Santa Claus. That Christmas movie I enjoyed so much.

I don't even want to know more details. Last week I found out that she loves network television. I've watched All of This Is Us, All of Million Little Things. I love it so much. It's so funny to me. And in all honesty the stuff Lapkus has described so far I love it so much oh it's so funny to me and in

and in all honesty the stuff Lapkus has described so far is on the higher end of her taste levels thank you the shit she watches yeah that's like

the shit she watches is like upsetting like on a societal level yeah oh I watch this show where little people get married to foreigners from outside

who don't speak you know and it's like wait what is this show little people day fiance no I do love little people big world though and that's a fantastic show married to foreigners from outside who don't speak English. Wait, what is this show? Little People Day Fiance. No, I do love Little People Big World, though, and that's a fantastic show. I think I combined five of your ideas.

I started to say last week, but I can tell you a little more now, that there is some drama brewing on Little People Big World, and it's getting really good. You couldn't tell us last week. I couldn't. I couldn't get into it. There wasn't enough time. There's plenty of time this week. Zach was trying to buy the farm from Matt, and then Matt basically said, not a good enough

offer. And then Zach moved to another city with his family, which is kind of mean to the family, if you ask me. But anyways, there's a lot of drama. I'm hoping it'll work out. Well, back to this two and a half hour synopsis. drama i'm hoping okay work out back to this two and a half hour synopsis so hulk crashes into the new york sanctum centaurium and turns back into bruce banner informing dr strange and wong about thanos's in eminent uh arrival they find tony stark who's out in central park with pepper pots

the heroes debrief about thanos's plan to use the infinity stone swipe out half of the life in the galaxy and determine that thanos will be searching for the Earth and Time Stone held in Doctor Strange's necklace and the Mind Stone that lives in Vision's forehead. Vision's been missing since Captain America's Civil War. Tony reluctantly pulls out a flip phone that Steve Rogers mailed him and he's about to make a call when... Yeah, and why was it a flip phone?

Because Captain America wouldn't have new tech. I thought that too, but he still has one from the 90s. Yeah, that is funny. It's not like he pulled out an old rotary phone or something. Maybe he was just like, an iPhone's too much. Tap it, touch it, and tap it. No, thank you. I think it's one of those, like Chris Evans,

is Captain America is what like half of Americans think they are. Like, I'm just an old school guy in a new school world. That's hilarious. Captain America has fucking morals and helps people, you fucking nuts. But a lot of people are like, I just have a flip phone because I'm archaic and make people deal with me as a fucking problem. It's like, oh, sick, dude. So I think that's supposed to be a cute moment. How right do they get uh rich tech guys

wardrobe with uh the way tony stark is dressed here with sort of like elite performance yes he looks like he's like flares he was wearing flares he made him look a lot older no that this is where the movie gets really i mean we'll talk i'll listen to the next episode uh but yeah like he's really old in this like and it's starting to show and he's still supposed to be playing like a 40 year old playboy or whatever and he's not he's fucking old and it feels old but he can be still young he is young to me i do feel that that act the actor feels young but the movie style they were making his face

they didn't do many favors I don't know what they were doing they gave him those Stan Lee glasses and he lost a little bit of weight so those flares really hit him in the weirdest places he's a little gaunt that's what it was oh no no no no

so so then a giant Wheel in the sky Keeps on turning That's what I kept singing Every time The bad guy's ship Would show up

Oh my god That ship was funny It was like Just a big wedding ring Flying through the air Trying to find you Yeah To go on your big toe.

So, okay. The Black Order invades New York City. Wong, Strange, Tony, and Bruce go out to attack them, but Bruce is oddly unable to transform into the Hulk, which I thought was sick. Which is so weird.

And the Hulk was like, no. He was like, no. No. I was like, what are you doing? Stop this. It feels dumb. It felt like he was trying to cum. It was totally like that.

It was really weird. I've been there. Like, you're just trying to soft cum at the end. You're like, I swear to God. Hold. I can do this. I can do this. I know.

I know. It's embarrassing. I'm almost done. Dry firing at the end. No. It's dumb storytelling because it is interesting that the Hulk and Dr. Banner are in a constant struggle for control of their form. But it's so dumb that it's like the reason he can't turn into Hulk is because it would be hard to write why he isn't kicking everybody's ass here. Is that what it is?

It's so obvious. Because if he was there, everybody's ass here. Is that what it is? It's so obvious. Because if they had the Hulk, they'd be fine against these two guys because the Hulk is so powerful. They've demonstrated that too many times in previous movies. So they're like, let's make it hard for the Hulk to come through.

Yeah, I didn't really like the battle that Mark Ruffalo was having with himself. And I also felt like some of the graphic, whatever stuff on that was not that amazing he was like such a tiny little head in that big suit and I was like this doesn't seem right there's a shot at the end of the movie where they're like gathering around

Vision before Thanos comes and mercs all of them and Ruffalo's in the back in that Iron Man suit it's called the Hulkbuster suit he's in the Hulkbuster suit that was the moment I'm talking about. And he looks digitally head floating.

It's clear. No, it literally was. It looks like when you do that Instagram thing of cutting out a picture and putting it over something in a story or something where it's just a little head a square on a body. It's so funny. It's weirdly moving. It's so far in the back. It's this big. That's one weirdly moving. Yeah. And it's so far in the back.

It's like this big. That's like one of the worst effects in the movie. That was a crazy one. That's the one I was talking about. It was so fucking weird. I know. It stood out to me.

I missed it on every other viewing. On this one, I couldn't unsee it. So meanwhile, Peter Parker and Ned Leeds notice the spaceship while on a bus headed to the MoMA

for a field trip. Ned causes a distraction so Peter can suit up and join Iron Man. Ebony Maw, Tom Von Lawler, abducts Doctor Strange and he flies the spaceship away, unaware that both Iron Man and Spider-Man are stowed away. On Earth, Bruce Banner calls Steve Rogers himself.

This, I didn't realize his name was Ebony Maw. Ebony Maw, I know, right? I have to look at who that is. It's like a porn name. Short answer, to translate that to more common English, his name is Black Mouth. Oh, really? Well, I mean, Ebony is famous.

Yeah, Maw is a mouth. Ebony is the black stone, it feels sort of. Black Mouth? You said it was a porno name, and then it's even harder. Wait, wait, wait. I have a deep black mouth. Call me Ebony Maw. Oh, no, the Ebony Maw's here to finish us all off.

Ooh, beware of my black mouth. That character, I hated. Yeah, I didn't like him. You know which one this one is? That little nasty thing? Yeah. Yeah, who had no nose. He kind of looked like a fish, like a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Who had no nose. He kind of looked like a fish, like a big walking fish.

Yeah, like the flat face. The thing I don't like about the Sons of Thanos or the Dark Order, whatever they're called, the Children of Thanos, like I don't understand what Ebony Maw's powers are. And this is just me being like old man comic book. I like when the power sets are understandable. Like that's why that's why Dr. Strange is kind of annoying. Cause it's just like his magic allows him to do anything.

And it's like, he does too many different things in this movie where you're like, well then why can't you just win if you can do all this weird shit? And Ebony Maw has like full control over stuff, but that's it. And it's like, that doesn't seem like that powerful of a thing compared to other people, but it's it. And it's like, that doesn't seem like that powerful of a thing compared to other people, but it's vague.

And then there's a big guy with an ax that brought a woman with a, a woman who's good at hand to hand combat or a female presenting alien. That's good at hand to hand combat. And then a, uh, how progressive. Yeah. I'm not going to say they're like,

they're not coming for me today. No female prison. Alien. I told you, I looked at the Reddit once once right and i aged a hundred years like i was the fucking ark of the covenant i was like i can't talk on podcast anymore no but uh i i mean like and then there's another dude who fights with the staff well and it's like what are these like why are we supposed to be scared of them and why does thanos need

anybody to do his bidding for him? I know, because also he can literally do anything. Anything he wants. He can fucking teleport with a glove. It's like, just show up in New York, grab Doctor Strange and rip it off. But they have to build this storyline so that there's some ways people to defeat along the way. But I guess it might be like Thanos is too busy thinking, so he has like his assistants go out and do some work for him. He's got to ponder exactly how much half

is like. There's well what if it's a little kid is that count is oh fuck is that a half a person. Oh no. They eat less you know. Or like like Leah says like why not double the resources with a snap of your finger. Just make. Yeah.

Just make it better make a shit ton of extra bananas you know billionaires could fix everything and they won't i just can't well re-watching these re-watching these movies with like not like you know with like 10 years of uh or you know a handful of years behind me and it's like the answers are all like the government billionaires individual heroes it's like this is exactly what's wrong with society it's like everyone's like don't worry about roe versus wade don't worry about gun control captain america will save us bro if there's a person named captain america they're a bad guy So like, get the fuck out of here with that.

We're toast. No heroes are coming for us. I know. Isn't that horrible? It is horrible. Okay. Where would you guys move? Okay, let's keep going.

I would move to the planet Vormir with Red Skull. Oh, yeah. When that fucking red man came back, I was like no we're gonna have i was like i don't want you here i know i was so upset to see him meanwhile in space the guardians of the galaxy answer a distress call from thor's ship after this mantis i don't know what i don't know what mantis is mantis mantis is the woman uh with the two things that sticks out of her head who joins guardians of the Galaxy. She's really a cool looking character.

I liked Mantis who's played by Palm Clement. Clement. That's a really cool name. Palm. Wow. Yeah. I like Palm. Yeah.

She's an empath who joins in. Oh, Guardians of the Galaxy 2 wakes up. Thor tells him about Thanos' plan. And this is of particular interest to Gamora, Thanos' former daughter. Thor tells him that the power stone which the Guardians left on Xandar in Guardians of the Galaxy has been taken and Xandar destroyed. Star-Lord, Gamora, Mantis, and Drax decide to go to the nowhere where the collector has the reality stone since Thor the Dark World Thor Rocket and Groot now a teenager plan to go to

so that Thor can get a new hammer yeah I thought this when I first saw this movie and even on this rewatch this scene is really funny the way they're talking about hemsworth i think this is like yeah when marvel gets comedy right marvel does a little too much like uh non-comedy comedy where a lot of people are like yikes awkward okay believe it or not just threw up in my mouth a little like a lot of that shit yeah but i thought this scene was really funny like playing off how hot Thor is. And then God help us all. Chris Pratt being maybe the only person in this movie who self deprecates ever. I know it's like the movie is so chock full of heroes that you've like, there's no, and everyone's kind of like vying.

And I think Chris Pratt, who I don't like, I don't love Star Lord or the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, but he's very strong in this scene. He gets annoying later when he blows it like five straight times. But him and Drax, the Dave Bautista alien guy. Oh, I love Drax. They're so funny together, especially where he's like, why are you talking like him?

And that's just such like, and it also calls out a little bit that Thor and Star-Lord live in the same world and Thor's an ancient god and Star-Lord is in the same world. And Thor's an ancient god. And Star-Lord is a dude with a mixtape and a spaceman helmet. And they're equals. And we're supposed to believe they're equals. But there's this fun element here where they demonstrate there is a little envy, a little jealousy, a little bit of some status in the Avengers world. Yeah, and I thought the Guardians people had some funny stuff

in terms of like the comedy. Like when he, when Chris Pratt like jumped back into that thing and like gave the middle finger and was like, peace or whatever. Like that was funny.

It doesn't sound funny when I say it. But you know what I mean. You've never sounded more like a teenager. I was like, you know what he's like? He's like,

he's like, he's like, yeah, that was like really funny. That was like really funny. That was like, you know what he's like? He's like, he's like, yeah, that was like really funny. That was like really funny. That was like really funny. I was like really laughing. Um,

that's like how my nephew talks. So, okay. Vision and Wanda, who've been living a normal life in Scotland, which I enjoyed seeing by the way. Yeah, I liked it.

It was like romantic and cute. They're ambushed. They're weirdly like adult in this movie like their storyline is like oddly uh mature compared to all the other storylines and I think it plays out well in WandaVision but I think here it's like I have to sacrifice myself we finally have fallen for each other and it's like that's just like myself we finally have fallen for each other and it's like that's just like arguably too interesting for marvel i know i know well i like that yeah i like it too it's like real stakes yeah and it felt important at the end when like yes and you give a shit yeah so they got ambushed by two more of thanos's children and the rest of team cap which is a bearded Steve Rogers Sam Wilson. Yeah, he looks sick as hell. I hated it. I like the beard. I know. He's so much hotter than the beard.

Sick as hell where I'm from? Sick as hell is a compliment where I'm from. I know, but I meant it as like ill. He looked disgusting. Ill is also a cop dog. He looks fucking ill. Unwell. Nasty. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

See, I thought he looked hot with the beard and i'm not gonna lie when he catches that spear that's pretty fuck like his reveal of when the train goes like they hear something and then they whip the spear at him and he catches it that was pretty he's a hot character without a doubt i don't i the beard is not no the beard i agree the beard did not work for me i've liked him in every other film I love when Thor's like I see you copied my beard I guess he had some humor I think there's some fun humor

in that lead up to that fight too where like he's like I'm here tree and what he keeps rabbit he's like this is tree and rabbit and he goes which is funny because I've been called a rabbit I am Steve Rogers. Yes, that was funny.

Yeah, that was good. I'm Steve Rogers. Yeah, it was so polite. Okay, so the rest of the team cap. So it's Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, and Black Widow come to their aid and take them to the Avengers compound. And a flashback shows how young Gamora was adopted by Thanos after he destroyed her family. how young Gamora was adopted by Thanos after he destroyed her family. In the present, Gamora makes Peter Quill

promise to kill her if Thanos shows up because she has crucial information that would lead to one of the stones. This was so funny when Grax, what's his name? Drax. Drax, yeah. When he was standing there,

and they're like, how long have you been there? And he's like, an hour. If I don't move, you cannot see me. I like how he says, I've been practicing standing still and then he's like you're eating a zark nut and he's like but do you know what's crazy like this movie didn't seem funny at all to me I think because

Ragnarok was like every joke was fun every line was a joke that like it felt like there was not much comedy in this at all because it was so spread out but when we're talking about it I'm like I guess there were moments that were kind of funny and interesting yeah but it's like that level of funny that is in like a big major blockbuster action movie and i think i think like ragnarok and maybe guardians of galaxy one have it like ratcheted up higher yeah then then and i think that's because of taika and james gunn can like bring that skill set and the russo brothers aren't comedy neophytes but they're they have they owe so much shoe leather in this movie that it's like they can't even have jokes.

We have to get to 11 different planets with 40 different characters. It's very dense. That is true. Okay, well, let's keep going. They get to nowhere and seemingly defeat Thanos, but it was all a trick thanks to the Reality Stone, which Thanos acquired before they arrived.

Three down, three to go. Thanos messes with the guardians and then kidnaps Gamora before Peter can bring himself to kill her. I did like how the gun was bubbles. That was fun. I do like that he does pull the trigger pointing it at the woman he loves.

Yeah, it's like, oh wow, so he would sacrifice her. Yeah, I know. He tried. And then also it absolves you of being mad at him you know as the character because you get we'll get mad at him again later oh yeah baby and then i was just like if this man can trick all of reality why doesn't he do that to get the rest of his stones you know yeah you know like if you have a reality stone just like change reality okay at the avengers compound james rhodes who is also little he's like uh he just seems smaller than normal argues with the

secretary of state thaddeus ross that he needs steve natasha sam vision and wanda even though they're fugitives they arrive and reunite with roadie and bruce banner we also learned that hawkeye and ant-man the remaining members of team cap are unavailable to help because they made a deal with the government and under house arrest with their families which is like as a superhero you could do that you just opt out i know well this is so like they have to like resolve shit that happened in civil war and stuff. And they're like, and this happens a little too fast. If you, it's like,

look, we have to do it. It's like, all right, fine. You're like, oh, okay.

But it's like, you didn't have a budget to just throw two more people in. You didn't have that. Is that what it was? Or just too many plots being added? Probably too many plots. They make a plan to destroy the mine stone without killing vision and decided that to do so, they must visit Wakanda, which I was without killing vision and decide that to do so they must visit

Wakanda which I was like don't bring this to Africa leave them alone well this is there's a there's layers going on here because you're like oh and Wakanda is where they got the best tech ever but it is like not at all Wakanda's problem right now yeah right it is not at all Black Panther

is not involved in this at all they shouldn't even all about it right and it's like don't worry we'll go to their house and bring the whole fucking drama upon us yeah they really fucking fix everything yeah uh there t'challa and uh aoki deliver a new vibranium arm to bucky barnes and he looks at that arm and he's like where's the fight and i was like is he deprogrammed or not like he seems like that's what he every time he sees that fucking arm he's like i gotta go kill he has no personality i can't stand the character no he never he i enjoy the movie winter soldier like i think he's good in that as like a bad guy but i don't like i don't give a fuck about him the

way steve rogers or the writers of the Marvel movies do. But because I feel like when we saw him the first time in Captain America, that was when he had a personality and a life and you might have cared a little bit. But then that got taken away completely. I mean, I like the actor.

I like Pam and Tommy. Sebastian Stan. He's really good. And he's like really hot in other things. And not in this. Because the character has no spark to it. No spark. And I also wish they gave him a little bit of personality where he like chose to wear the African garb for more of the movie. Why didn't he?

We only wore that for like five seconds. For five seconds. I want to see him in kente cloth and his iron arm fucking fighting. Because at one point he's like, I love it here. I like that they call him the white wolf I think that's like a funny that's a fun name too okay so back in space what you want to say something

no no no what you want to say something no actually I don't we can get out of here without speaking back in space Tony Stark discovers Peter Parker on the spaceship, and the two of them rescue Doctor Strange. They decide to go after Thanos themselves.

Meanwhile, Thanos successfully tortures Gamora's sister Nebula, who she made up with in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 for the location of the Soul Stone. He departs with Gamora once he has that information, and Nebula sends a message to the Guardians to meet her on the planet Titan. I do think that Nebula's torture looks fucking intense,

the way they have her, like, sort of, like, cross-sectioned out because she's, like, an android, so, like, to be able to pull her pieces out like that, that's fucking terrifying. That was horrible. It seems mean. Yeah.

And Thor and his team of Guardians arrive at Nidalvelir, and meet a giant dwarf named Eitri played by Peter Dinklage who agrees to make him a new hammer. So we learn that Peter Dinklage made the gauntlet that Thanos and then his hands have been

like bound in steel or in metal, vibranium probably, so he can't make another weapon and they have to I love this. It's so dumb, but it's so different than other action where everyone is punching or shooting at one person. It was just cool to see a big action set piece, even though it's all digital video game cut scene looking shit. I just appreciated that it's not a straight up fight that we're watching in this other place.

And Thor's biceps might be a huge part of why i like this i mean they're nice and juicy yeah when he's holding it open as the as the blast of the star is going through his silhouette of his fucking buys and delts are unreal yeah he's extremely built so built and i like the part where peter dinklage is like, they'll kill you. And then Thor's like, I'll die. And he was like, that's what killing you means. That made me laugh.

He goes, yeah. He goes, it'll kill you. He's like, so then I'll die. He's like, yeah. That's what we're talking about. That's not great. I also like there's a simple logic of like, this will kill you he's like so well

fighting thanos without the weather yeah yeah so he was willing to take the risk yeah so tony steven and peter crashed their spaceship onto titan where they immediately go to meet the gardens of the galaxy and discover they have similar goals i like when they were fighting each other because they didn't know who anybody was and then they had to like be like who are you that was fun for me um they brainstorm plans to defeat Thanos while Dr. Strange looks into a bunch of possible futures. He says that they will only win in one of those possibilities. That was a line that I predicted.

So he goes, there's 14,000,000, 600, 5,000, whatever possible futures. And then they're like, and then how many do we win? And I was like,

one, one. And I was like, I can write this shit. I mean, I couldn't come up with half of how the movie works outside of that, but I could do little lines here.

But like, why didn't Doctor Strange use the time stone to go back in time to stop Peter Dinklage from making him the fucking... You can't ask these questions. Or go back in time... That's the problem with these movies is they set up so many extremely powerful beings.

Then they have to somehow figure out another being like Thanos who's more powerful than all of them put together. And it's like we've seen so many elaborate stunts from all of our heroes. And now we're supposed to believe that none of them can fight Thanos. And then who's next? I know. And they were all teamed up together and it wasn't enough i was like right yeah and it's like we've seen dr strange use the uh time stone against dormammu in the in his movie where he like reset puts him in traps him in a time loop yeah why isn't he fucking this dude in a time loop and you never can tell what's going to work on Thanos and what isn't. Like, it's just so arbitrary where it's like, whoa, Spider-Man's able to pull him down with his webs. Oh, he's able to disassemble someone by going like this, like turn them into ribbons.

Yeah, that was wild. Why didn't he do that for everybody? So it seems like the major weakness and the flaw in the gauntlet is if you can't close your hand, you can't do any of the spells. It feels like, right? Because Iron Man shoots something on his hand. They're constantly holding his hand open. And then he told the cape, he was like, keep his hand from turning into a fist. And the cape was like, okay.

I love that cape. The cape's awesome. The cape's one of the better actors in the movie. When the cape flew over to do that, that was good. So Thanos and Gamora teleport to Vormir, where they are surprisingly greeted by Captain America, the first Avenger villain, Red Skull. Yuck.

Ross Marquand, previously played by Hugo Weaving. All right, fun thing about... So Ross Marquand, very nice actor dude from uh walking dead i've worked with him a few times he got uh this role and then also uh hugo weaving is not in the new matrix either as he doesn't reprise his role as agent smith a person replaces him there and then you start to realize he's like i think hugo weaving's one of those dudes was like what i thought i was doing one fucking movie you want me to come back? I can't

come on I did a trilogy already it feels like he's just like to be okay with being replaced in the Marvel universe that's very funny he must just not need money at all he must be sitting on stacks but like he's a red man so it's not

like his face I'd be like yeah i didn't realize it was a different person me either and that's so that's something yeah well yeah it's it doesn't because it doesn't matter because it is arbitrarily injected that red skull is up there it's just to have a just to fill up the movie with more characters to applaud to yeah all right so red skull has the soul stone so red skull tells thanos that he must sacrifice what he loves characters to applaud to. Yeah. All right. So Red Skull has the soul stone. So Red Skull tells Thanos that he must sacrifice

what he loves. This part was crazy. He must sacrifice what he loves the most in order to obtain the stone. And Thanos throws Gamora over a cliff to her death, which basically proved

that he does love her and he got the stone. I was like, wait, so he loves her? Yeah, he stole a baby whenever you steal a baby you love that baby but he but the whole thing was that she felt like he she hates him and it felt like they that he didn't love her right and that's and that's what i think like because what does she think is gonna happen like aha you love nothing so you can't you can't get

the soul stone and he's like actually i love you and she's like huh and he's like did he steal that baby to like learn how to love so that later in life he could get a soul stone what a long con that is a long con it's a lot of work it's too much work just for one stone just buy it thank you you stone. Just buy it. No, thank you. Just buy it. Aren't you enough with five stones, Tana? Isn't four stones pretty powerful? It's a lot. So back in Wakanda, the Earthbound Avengers are greeted by Chitalla and Bucky.

They ask Black Panther's little sister, Shuri, if she can safely extract the Mind Stone from Vision, and she confirms that she can. Wanda stands by ready to use her powers to destroy the stone the moment Shruti finishes. However time is running out as Thanos' army arrives.

And Black Panther gathers the Dora Malaji. Is that right? I think so. Because I heard it said two different ways in the film.

Royal Guard, Border Tribe and the Jabari Tribe led by M'Baku accompanied by captain america bucky barnes falcon roadie black widow and bruce banner too many wearing the hulk buster armor we first saw tony stark wear in age of ultron and they decided to let the alien army through the barrier and start fighting and this part was also pretty crazy you know i don't love a long fight scene but i thought this one was kind of interesting with how they had this like blue fence basically

keeping everyone out and then they let them in to fight them I was kind of like why did you even let them in? Because they couldn't get surrounded Right because if they surrounded them they wouldn't be able to defend every section because they were there with all the warriors Glad we get to see

M'Baku who I love I love M'B hot he's so hot what's that actor's name winston something yeah winston duke he's a fucking hunk and he's my god he's a good character he's very fun in the black panther movie yeah you guys did black panther already yeah we did black panther and i liked him in it i just gotta say if i was from wakanda i'd be like are you kidding these white people brought this well the other this is i love this fight sequence too i think it's really fun and it's fun to see thor show up kind of total badass new lightning god powers that was fun but again i don't understand why thanos needs an army like if he's what are we doing like he needs an army to get the stone to

get rid of half of everybody ostensibly probably including his army of aliens right like like so it's like wait if you don't have that army of aliens is there less resources needed but it's like right it's your whole plant like it feels like some right-wing idea of like the only answer is to kill half of the unhoused people it's like well what if we just house people i don't know i think the resource wise we gotta kill them and it's like you have thousands of thousands and thousands of beings working for you and you want to snap your finger and get rid of half the event vision doesn't even fucking eat food he doesn't even like what resources are you talking about maybe wakandans can fucking research their way out of it like let's try something like it's anything's possible but i i do enjoy this sequence

the highlight for me though is like and this is when i was in the theater saw this for the first time i started like getting really giddy is when they decide to charge and everyone's charging but because of superpowers black panther and uh captain america are ahead of everyone and i just kind of dig that because it's like they've squared off once or twice in the in the civil war and you know that like they both have like similar strength and agility and it's really fun to watch the two of them enter combat like because everyone's running and then they just slowly uh head out of the pack because everyone in wakanda is also a badass super agile person just not like they are not like them yeah and it's just like a fun version a fun example of seeing them be badass and and like i like these scenes in movies where it's like tons of bad guys

that are like arguably fodder so you just let all your main characters show off their cool weapons and powers like yeah like warm uh roads roadies just fucking blowing grenades on everybody it's like what dude like it's always funny when everyone's like shooting laser beams and lightning and then like then fucking Winter Soldier is shooting like an AR-15 like he's a fucking gravy seal at the Capitol on January 6th. Gravy seal. I've never heard that. Those fat guys with fucking beards and those guys who look like me who stand with guns at protests and shit.

Those are the gravy seals. That's so funny. Gravy seals. So meanwhile, Thor and Rocket successfully revive the star core of Nividar, needing to forge a new hammer, but because of the damage,

Thor has used his own body for the device to work. In a pinch, Groot offers one of his branches as Stormbreaker's handle. They immediately use the hammer to summon the Bifrost and arrive in Wakanda. And Thanos arrives on Titan and is greeted by Doctor Strange who distracts him while Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the rest of the Guardians

attack. Mantis uses her powers to put Thanos to sleep and they almost have the gauntlet. This was crazy. So she's on his head like basically holding his head. I was like, this is it? This is all we needed to do? Hop on his head? Like it was weird. I was like, this is it? This is all we needed to do? Hop on his head? Like, it was weird. She was like, I thought she was, like, protecting him.

She was like, he's mourning. He's mourning. And she was, like, pushing his head. And then I guess he was falling asleep. But I thought she was, like, on his side for a second. I was confused. And then they almost have the gauntlet. And Star-Lord learns that Gamora is dead.

And he reacts emotionally. Boy, oh, boy. And, like, goes to goes to like slap fucking thanos and then they lose focus and they lose the gauntlet and thanos gains the upper hand and stabs tony stark which was insane then dr strange gives gives thanos the mind stone in exchange for tony's life which also was insane because he said earlier he was like i'll let that kid die i'll let you die i'll let all my friends die i'm keeping this stone yeah and then five they have five stones and then when thanos leaves strange tells tony it was the only way because he saw the one outcome and the one outcome involves thanos getting all the stones that's something i was not thinking of that the that was because he knew the

future he knew that the one outcome that where it works which is like again i i like it because it's but it is bad storytelling to be like there's only one way and it's like well then i guess we're on that path like yeah so we are going to succeed but only right well of course they are but i was still surprised by the ending not realizing this was a part one situation yes yeah yeah i also forgot it was a part one situation when i was like oh everybody gonna get evaporated yeah i guess they're gonna restart the fucking this is phase nine i don't know yeah doesn't that the shit hits when they start uh uh turning into dust like that actually i like that and and i think tom holland does the

best acting he really got so into it. Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Why did he know? Is everyone else just okay with feeling a little weird, and then they just start dissolving? He was kind of like, I'm dying, I think. But everyone else just kind of disappeared. Well, it's because he's a kid.

He's only been in a couple of fights. So everyone's like, I've been hurt before. But he's like, this is a different kind of disappeared. Well, it's because he's a kid. He's only been in a couple of fights. So, like, everyone's like, I've been hurt before. But he's like, this is a different kind of hurt. Oh, no, Mr. Stark. I think I'm turning into dust. He was like, hold me. I'm turning into pebbles. Back in Wakanda, Wanda leaves Vision's side to join the fight,

and Vision soon follows. The fighting ensues. The Avengers catch up, and they're introduced to Groot rocket things are looking up but then thanos arrives the avengers line up to stop him while wanda kills vision and destroys the stone however thanos uses the fucking time stone to turn back time um thor plunges his uh new hammer to thanos's chest but it's too late and then thanos snaps his fingers after seeing young seeing young Gamora in a vision, Thanos teleports away Wakanda, leaving the Avengers to figure out what they did.

That becomes apparent as half of the heroes in Wakandan army slowly turn to dust and disappear, starting with Bucky Barnes. Heroes also turn to dust on Titan, leaving Tony Stark alone with Nebula. Thanos returns to his home triumphant. In a post-credit scene, Nick Fury and Maria Hill, I have no

idea who that woman was, experienced... Colby. Who's Colby? Colby Smulders. What movie is she from? She's from How I Met Your Mother. But she's also from... She's been in... She's in S.H.I.E.L.D. She's in the Captain America movies and shit. But yes,

she's also in How I Met Your Mother. Another network TV show that Lauren loves. I haven't really seen that one. But I would. But don't tempt me. So they experience the result of Thanos'

snap in New York City. Vigil's crash after Hill vanishes. Fury hits a button on an enhanced old fashion pager he turns to dust but the page goes through and we're left with a smidge of hope in the form of red blue and yellow oh it's a symbol belonging to captain marvel i didn't get it at all i don't know what i don't know who that was contacting i was like pagers don't have colors yeah i didn't get that but i was like must be good. Or it got through at least to whoever he was trying to reach. So that's the movie.

A lot fucking happens. A lot happens. It's the densest fucking movie I've ever watched in my whole life. And then now we have half the people. I didn't think that that would be something that would continue into future films. I thought, we're not going to lose all these characters.

But they must have been sad when they read that they were dissolving at the end yeah i'd be so sad i'd be like oh okay so i guess i'm done i'm out i guess i guess i get to leave atlanta for a few weeks finally that's right maybe they'll see my family and shit uh we're starring another movie because i had 11 movies and that's that's the real bummer about these marvel movies and and i enjoy them but like chris hemsworth chris evans uh uh chadwick boseman these are all great actors that would just be fun to see in anything else but they're like but they're so wrapped up in this contractually that you're like uh you don't get to see them do like anything else like elizabeth olsen was like i missed out on 2015's

the lobster i could have done that movie but i had to be wanda she wasn't mad i get it i think you just watch everyone who like your friends who you started with you're like they're so jealous you're scarlet witch and then like all your other friends are like, oh dude, I'm in an Academy nominated movie. And it's like, I'm going to be Scarlet Witch on a Disney streamer next. It's like,

oh, fun. Always being Scarlet Witch. All right. Well, in terms of awards, Infinity War was nominated for an Oscar for best visual effects, except for that part where old guy's head was really small. And won movie of the year at the People's Choice Awards.

So the film had some truly crazy box office numbers. Its total worldwide gross was $2.048 billion. What? $2 billion? Making it only the fourth highest grossing film of all time. What is the highest grossing film? Is that Avatar? We're finally getting a sequel. Come through, James Cameron.

Avatar 2. I saw the 3D trailer before I saw Multiverse of Madness in 3D. And the highlight of seeing Doctor Strange 2 in the theaters was the Avatar 2 trailer. That's funny. It's the highest grossing film of 2018. So the highest grossing films are Avatar, Avengers Endgame,

Titanic, and then this Avengers. Wow. The second Avengers does more than 2.4 billion. That's insane. Totaling 5 plus billion dollars. I mean, that's insane. How much do they get on the back end of that? That's like nuts.

How much do people who need food and shelter get of that? Oh, slim to none. Enjoy, Disney shareholders. So it's the it was the highest grossing superhero superhero film. It's worldwide opening

weekend was the biggest of all time beating the fate of the furious from 2017. This stat was later beat by Avengers Endgame the following year and it got mixed but mostly favorable reviews from critics holding an 85% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Stephanie Zacharick of Time said, it isn't really a beginning,

but more of a middle or an end with a new piece of yarn attached. You have to see it. And internalized every one of the previous 18 Marvel Cinematic Universe movies to fully get it. That is true. And we are doing that. So I to fully get it. That is true, and we are doing that. So I guess we get it. So let's take a quick break, and we'll be back with more Infinity War and some trivia so tom holland was not allowed to read the script for the movie since he revealed too many secrets oh my god he's a funny little kid 2017 that's so funny in a promo video several of the cast members are in interrogation room, refusing to reveal any spoilers.

And Tom Holland is in there with his mouth taped shut. That is so funny. It's very funny. Oh, my God. It's so like, I think I love it. That's a dumb, fun, like the youngest actor on set. But it also is just bad. It's just marketing.

Now that we all know everything, it's like everything is fucking marketing. It's all like, well well we can't tell time it's oh you know the publicity publicity department is like all right well this next one we'll do a big thing about you know it's like oh and then tom's people are on the phone tom will love that tom will love that tom will love that yeah yeah tom will love that it's nine more movies he has to do he'll be 50 when he's done and he'll have no career left. Yeah, okay. Tom will love that. Tom will love that. Oh my God. Okay, well, Josh Brolin, this is weird. He wore a foam headpiece on set that was

the size of Thanos' head with a camera on his face for visual effects. He also wore various foam parts, depending on what the scene called for, so that the other actors didn't get too close to him, making sure that Thanos' scale was retained. And he said that he based his character on Marlon Brando's role as Colonel Walter Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. Okay.

Which I had not seen. I saw that. I think that reads. Yeah, I think it really came through. I think it really comes through. Comparing yourself to one of the greatest American actors of all time in a famously deep classic fucking movie American cinema yeah I think it came through

I was kind of doing that I was kind of doing the godfather oh okay cool yeah I was kind of doing I love Josh Brolin I think he's a great actor but anyone who's talking about making interesting acting choices while you have to wear a giant foam helmet and a camera on your face, like you're like you're lying to yourself a little bit.

And I understand that because I've been on productions that are bad and you're like, but, you know, it's actually what we're doing. Like you find all the happiness in what you're doing because you have to do it. So you're like, well, it's actually kind of cool what we're doing in selling out. We're selling out in like a different, interesting way yeah and you find so i i get that but it's also like have a little fun like oh you're you're doing marlon brando from apocalypse now as thanos okay oh i remember that scene where he's got a giant purple fucking scrotum on his face. You ever seen a snail crawl down the edge of a razor blade? Actual apocalypse now, line.

Wow. I've never seen it. Me either. Production for Infinity War took place pretty much simultaneously with Black Panther and Avengers Endgame, allowing teams on all of the movies to work closely together. Oh, isn't that the best?

You get hired for a Marvel movie. And you get to do three at once? Yeah, keep track of this, asshole. No, Bucky, switch out your fucking arm, you Sebastian. Wrong arm. Jesus, wardrobe, can we get the right arm? We're shooting Black Panther, not Avengers. Which Avengers?

Oh my God, wait, you gotta hear this detail. So Robert Downey Jr. had production ship all of his furniture to Atlanta where a shooting took place. On Jimmy Kimmel, he explained, here's the deal, lest I be thought of as some self-involved snarky, he's got it all thing. You're away from home for a long time, and we bring the cats and the kids. And the cats like this

chair, that's where they nap, so let's bring this chair. We thought, as a matter of fact, let's bring the house. So that sums it up. Pretty funny to be like, it's not that i'm self-involved my cats need to nap the cats definitely would find another chair they liked because they're a cat they're cats but i do think it's fun to have all of your furniture but i also think wow what like i don't so they rented a house where like the furniture fit the same way and like, it just seems. It feels crazy. Also, it's crazy that Robert Downey Jr.

doesn't own a house in Georgia. Like, just buy a house in Georgia, dude. You're a billionaire and you gotta spend nine months out of the year there in fucking digital armor. That's such a good point.

I really enjoy these movies, but do yourself a favor. If you need, if you're taking them too too seriously check out some behind the scenes footage check out what it looks like when everyone is standing on green blocks in front of a green screen and everyone has different like green x's on their forehead and arms and people have like orange balls on their head and shit when you see that it's a fucking magic trick that they end up making a movie the movie magic is unreal amazing i get all that but then you look at it you go i don't know if this is like acting acting like yeah like if you're at the if at the end of

the day they're gonna draw a purple face on your face like i don't know how much acting acting you're doing you know some people are doing some acting acting though we got to talk about we had wanda and vision having like some serious they were having some moments going on i mean i feel like there are moments and i also i think robert downey jr is he's like one of my favorites in the whole franchise well he's so clearly though he's he's an amazing actor he's an amazing actor he's clearly the like the heart or the way into these movies because iron man was kind of like the first big marvel yeah and you see it and he he's he can do it all he can sell you when he's sad he can tell you when you're like

all right iron man time to kick some ass but then you also laugh like he can he is funny like he and and tony stark the character is funny. So it doesn't feel like, sometimes it feels a little phony where it's like, you're telling me the raccoon, the blue lady, the green lady, the green bald guy, the fucking tree and Chris Pratt are all funny quipsters. Like that feels a lot. But like when characters are like like the tv show friends it's like chandler's the only one who is funny yeah like they all are funny and do funny things

and say funny things but within the context of the show yeah they're funny but they're not actually funny in person if you were talking to them you're actually going ross is really anxious and freaking out and it's so annoying right and it makes sense because you're like that's funny right but in the moment you're like oh my god please stop but then like chandler's actually making jokes on purpose that are funny and then i think sitcoms now are all like everyone sits around and makes jokes which is fun and it's good writing but i do feel like it is okay to have a funny person, a funny character, and a character who has no comedy. Yeah. Like, that is something that happens in real life.

And I'm assuming even more frequently amongst superheroes who have witnessed or taken place in countless murders. Yeah. It's okay to not be funny. A lot of them are just dealing with trauma. Yeah, exactly. Well, we have our segment, Is Chris in This? Where we name if a Chris was in this film. Now, this might be our most Chris's ever.

Yeah, Hemsworth, Pratt, Evans. Wow. Those are the three I know. Would you want to add any Chris, Christine, or Kristen, or any variety of that to this film? Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker would be a welcome if he was ruby road too from fifth element just that character and that like announcing all the

thanos fights would be fucking fun yeah i say get chris messina in there he's got chops he's funny give him a fucking helmet and a gun or whatever just make up some character to have christmas oh he'd be funny he's kind of a Mark Ruffalo type. Oh, yeah. He is a little Mark Ruffalo type, like hunky intellectual guy. Yeah. I would throw in. I don't think I know this person.

Chris who? Christmasina. He's from the Mindy Project. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. He's like an indie darling actor. Yeah, he's a lot of indies. I would add Chris Miss Kurt Russell from that great Christmas movie. Maybe you should watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2.

So is there a kiss in this film? Was there a kiss in this film? There was two kisses. Okay, wait, who kissed? So Pepper Potts. Oh, three kisses. Did WandaVision kiss or no? Yes.

Yes. And Pepper Potts and Iron Man kiss. And then Gamora and the fucking star man star lord star lord yeah lots of good kisses and we did get some romance wait was lapita not in this movie no huh i wonder why uh daniel kaluuya wasn't either Yeah because it felt like a random selection From all of the like Yeah Yeah Nakia is not in it

But Okoye I forget how to say their names But Okoye is in it It's interesting I wonder why they didn't make it Yeah Well Kaluuya is a bad guy in Black Panther right He ends up being bad

No but then he ends up being good. He like turns and then he's like, wait a minute. What am I doing? My girl, my king. I gotta get back. It's funny because you're like, oh, of course it makes no sense to have those two characters in the movie. We don't need 41 recognizable actors. But we have 39 already.

Why not just throw them in? Why not just sprinkle them in? Give everyone a paycheck. Fly into Atlanta for a couple months. Just do it. I want everyone to get paid. This segment's called Five Stark Industries. This is where we read reviews, five-star reviews.

Hilly34 said, love it. Wish they were longer. Have a great day. Oh, thanks for that beautiful, thoughtful review. And we also are reading reviews from Letterboxd. And then we're going to give our one sentence review ourselves and a star rating. And if you don't know what it is, it's a site where you rate movies. So Letterboxd, this is a three and a half star review from Alicia.

I am Groot. I am Steve Rogers was the most pure exchange between two characters. Also, I almost fell while walking out of my seat. That's how fucked this movie made me. Okay. Whoa. But only three and a half stars. Yeah.

The movie made you fucked. Hmm. That movie made me fuck. I went home and fucked after that movie. The movie is so long. I had to stop and fuck in the middle. You have to. Like it's like two and a half hours,

and I'm fucking rock hard for the first hour, just imagining Loki's death over and over again, and I'm like, fuck, I gotta do something. Babe, please, can we fuck during fucking Avengers? Babe, please. This review is by Jay. This is four stars. Let's stop acting like Thanos is the first Marvel villain to cause catastrophic destruction to the universe when Joss Whedon did enough damage in 2015.

Oh, my God. Ooh, Jay, get at it. That's ice cold. Well, what's your one sentence review, Gabrus and star rating? My one sentence review is pretty fucking long. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. is it out of five stars yeah three and a half stars okay maybe 3.75 uh wow but i will say i am this is the problem with these movies and and maybe my problem i am going to watch endgame today and I am not going to be on that episode of your show.

Yeah. And I am going to watch it because I have like, you know, broken completionist brain. But also I did. It was fun to like live back in this world for a little bit because this is the Marvel. This was like my last couple of Marvel movies that I enjoyed. So like watching this, I was like, last couple of marvel movies that i enjoyed so like watching this i was like oh sick okay this was maybe i'll do end game again and throw i'm gonna throw it on in the background disney plus um i'm a member so i'll uh so take my 3.7 i don't know about you but i

got disney plus i got 20 dollars a month yeah. I don't even know how much you pay. How much is it? That's how much rich, that's how rich I am is that if I did the math on how many streaming services I have, I would have to like move back home with my mom. But that being said, like a 3.5 rating,

but I'm going to watch the sequel, something I've seen before and is even bigger and more bloated than this, but it does, I do think it all pays off. How is it more bloated than this but it does it i do think it all pays off like how is it more bloated if everybody's dust well you'll see oh yeah you'll see uh it's it's longer than this movie oh my god it does pay off it does resolve and i do think it does build like i'm i'm excited for you guys because i do think it actually builds to a a powerful ending which is cool which is not a lot of stuff does these days yeah stuff falls

apart towards the end Lauren Nicole oh okay my turn um I would give this I would give it 3.5 I guess like it it had moments and it wasn't, like, I've definitely watched worse things in this, you know, season. So I feel like that's a pretty good review. That's a pretty good rating. And then I would say

my review is not funny enough. I've really been spoiled by Ragnarok and I need more humor. Too long, but I did like the gemstones on the glove. And if I had to buy any piece of sort of any sort of toy, I would buy that.

I give this 3.6 stars because like as I was watching, I was like, OK, what's going to happen next? What's going to happen next? OK, so you got all them stones and everybody's dust. What's going to happen? I am curious to see what happens next. I am curious. I'm curious too. You know, so I think there's something to that.

But yeah, I really thought that like, I really thought that glove was glam, you know? Me too. I thought it was really cute. This gold glove with rainbow gemstones? Come through, queen. Every time a new gemstone went on, I was like, it's a pretty cute glove.

It's almost like the Crocs of gloves. Oh, my God. He's collecting all his gibbets. He's collecting all his gibbets. The Infinity Stones are gibbets. I love that. Okay, wait. We need Infinity Stone gibbets.

Yes, we do. I bet they have that. Oh, my God. I want really shiny ones, not like where they're made of the rubber. Me, too. Give me some shiny Crocs. Fucking gibbets infinity stones. Well,

anyway, fucking write a review on Apple podcasts. Cause we're going to pick one to read the next episode. And then you can rate it on Spotify. Gabrus. What you got to plug. Keep an eye out for court, a new head gum scripted mystery mini series.

I'm on coming next month. Friends and newcomers guests like Mary Holland and Betsy Sedaro are in the cast. Stay tuned. That was so natural. Yeah, I know. I've been dealing, I've been talking a lot with the HeadGum marketing department about like wordings

and stuff like that. So they asked. Yeah. And I was like, that sounds just like me so they asked yeah and i was like that sounds just like me let's rock and roll it sure does thanks for staying tuned at the end because i felt like it's coming on right after this yeah that was great i mean i can't wait to listen i i like that it was like keep your eyes out but i'm gonna keep my ears out yeah i think that's probably best uh i would say search corked on your podcast wherever you uh listen to podcasts and download it it was a lot of fun it's headgums it's a scripted podcast by headgum a lot of fun people involved myself included and you're not you're not even on script

at this point you are speaking from the heart i'm speaking from the heart and it's it's coming in it's coming in july which i think great great. Right around for the 4th of July. Perfect time to celebrate America with Cork. A little story about wine country that I recorded so long ago, I could not actually get into the details, except it was pretty funny. That's amazing. Well, I want to say, keep an eye out for Threedom.

It's an Earwolf unscripted series that I'm on every week. It is my podcast with friends like Paula F. Tompkins and Scott Aukerman are also in the cast. Stay tuned. Also, stay tuned for Why Won't You Date Me?

An exploration as to why I'm still single. It was on HeadGum. It has since moved. I'm still upset about that. You know, but I'm here on HeadGum with this, and that's great. And that is great.

And we just got a link sent to us in our chat of some Avengers Endgame Croc charms on Etsy, and I do want to have. I might get them. Here's the thing. You have to get all of them. Well, if you only have one, you don't have enough power to get rid of half of the, to commit genocide. You need all of all of them yeah and i'm trying to commit genocide to my other shoes you're gonna just have only left shoes you get rid of one of every shoe

not half your pairs you're like fuck well guess what we're gonna be fucking back next week with captain marvel a movie I have tried to watch at least eight times on a plane, but I have not been interested. You have seen it. I have seen it. I actually went to see it with David Spade in Hawaii when we were shooting our movie, The Wrong Missy. And we that couldn't have been a less necessary thing for us to do. I got to say, I hate to be the white straight male who doesn't love the female led superhero movie but Miss Marvel

Captain Marvel is like one of the worst ones I think also coming in July, July 14th on TruTV, a little show called 101 Places to Party Before You Die a new TruTV unscripted travel miniseries that I'm on coming next month.

Friends, and I don't think they're newcomer guests, like Adam Pally, are in the cast. So stay tuned. That is great. Stay tuned. Oh, and Adam Pally, who stars in Iron Man 3. I tied it back to Marvel. Wait, he does? We didn't watch Iron Man 3.

Wait, that's amazing. Yeah, he's in Iron Man 3. All the scenes are with Robert Downey Jr., too. That's cool. Yeah. I wish that's amazing. Yeah, he's in Iron Man 3. All the scenes are with Robert Downey Jr. too. That's cool. Yeah. I wish that would happen to me. Okay.

Gabe Rez, thanks for being here. It's always fun to see you. And it was great to talk about the film. And we'll see you later. Okay, bye-bye. Bye. Thank you. that was a Hidgum original