Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Bonus: Fast X (with Nicole Byer & Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Salute la famila... We're back. You know we couldn't leave you hanging without our thoughts on the return of the greatest vroom vroom franchise ever made. Gabrus and Nicole broke every speedi...ng limit and ran every red light from the movie theater to the Headgum studios, for this very special bonus episode on the 10th installment of the Fast & Furious series. PLUS: Sound the alarm! Newcomers is coming back for a 6th season, covering all the Batman movies ever made. Watch this space for brand new episodes starting August 15th. See you then, fam.  Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. I know that this road has been very hard, and yet here you are building this magnificent family. What's going on in that head of yours? Something little piece of it. in that head of yours something little piece of it he said dad they're not afraid of anything but i am i'm afraid of losing someone i love dominic teretto you're about to learn all about fear fear. You built such a beautiful life filled with love and family. I never got that chance. You stole that from me. My future. My family.
Starting point is 00:01:03 And now... I'm gonna break yours. Piece by piece. When it used to be about winning, we raced for respect. Today, I race to stop the bloodbath. That's the problem with having such a big family. How do you choose the ones you save? You will never be able to break my family. I'm Nicole Byer. I'm John Gabrus.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Two years ago, we worked our way through the Fast and the Furious franchise with the help of fellow newcomers and superfans, and now we're back with the newest installment of the franchise, Fast X, which is in theaters now. We're going to fucking spoil it, so if you don't want it spoiled, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, hold off. Just put this bank this episode. Come back to it once you've seen it like a grown up.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Thought never occurred to me. I was like, we're just going to spoil it. Figure it out. Do not shut this off. Just keep listening and be ready to get fucking. Be mad about it. Who listens to a podcast about a movie and is like, they better not spoil it. Come on.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I don't know. Fucking idiot. Because there's a lot to spoil about this movie and is like, they better not spoil it. Come on. I don't know, I'm a fucking idiot. Because there's a lot to spoil about this movie. There's so much to spoil. It features some of the classic fast things that we love, including resurrection. I love a good resurrection. I saw it with a friend who had never seen any of the movies, and I just leaned over and I was like, she's supposed to be dead. Tiffany's like, she's in this? I'm like, she's been in five of them or whatever.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Which is so funny. Okay, Gabrus, give me, what are your initial thoughts about this movie? I, okay. I loved it. But I'll say it's not as good as other ones. But it didn't matter. Correct.
Starting point is 00:03:21 I thought it was like markedly worse than some of the recent fast and fast eight i didn't love fate i didn't love nine i kind of came back on a little nine they sent black people to space i loved i love the callback to it this guy's ass and but this one felt like a little i didn't enjoy it as much i didn't care about some of the characters that they introduced. But I will say, Momoa elevates this movie. Muffrin was wearing gaucho pants. He had colorful nails. I loved every-
Starting point is 00:03:53 He had a scene with two dead bodies. It was painting their toenails. Gabrus, I squealed. Every time he was on the screen, I was screaming. I went to Look Cinemas in Glendale and i was very upset that nobody clapped every time a character you know and love was on screen i every time they introduced someone i went fucking him and the way i was by myself the way i would lean over to tiffany and be like that's han like she's like shut the fuck up but it's real like momoa really elevates the
Starting point is 00:04:24 movie because he's bringing an energy we haven't previously seen from anyone. And here's what it is. Even when Cypher was on as a bad guy. Yes. Momoa has brought the most feminine energy to the bad guy yet. And I really loved it and appreciated it. And he was having so much fun. He was arguably around Rome.
Starting point is 00:04:43 He was having more fun than anyone in the audience of the showing I was at. But he I was having a blast watching him. He was having a blast. He was ripping off the Joker a little bit. Oh, see, I don't know that. Oh, yeah. Well, someday. And one day I'll watch a movie.
Starting point is 00:05:04 But he was it was he really leveled the movie up. Yes. Like, he was, like, kind of, it's not hard to come across as electric with the rest of that cast, you know? The power of their woodedness, we've talked about this. It's wild. It lets you go, and you know who else was, I thought, one of the strongest parts of the movie? Your boy. John Cena.
Starting point is 00:05:26 John Cena was so good at it! He was so fucking funny. And he's with the kid the whole time. And I was like, do I need to watch a movie with him and a kid? Like, just doing a road trip? They have to make a movie where John Cena is with a kid. Because he has the perfect energy of like, he's so badass and terrifying, but he's so capable of goofiness. And I think Momoa showed that as well. But Vin Diesel, zero goofiness. Oh, but he's so capable of goofiness. Yes. And I think Momoa showed that as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:45 But Vin Diesel, zero goofiness. Oh, because he's a serious actor. But did you see that clip? Did we talk about this yet? The clip of him and Tyrese on the red carpet in Rome? No. They are like yacked out of their fucking skulls. They are so fucked.
Starting point is 00:06:00 And it's like, we came to Rome because of Roman. It's like, if I'm Roman. And Vin Diesel's not talking in the Toretto voice. He's talking what must be his real voice. Which is a little pitched up. It's a little pitched up. It's a little giddy. He's like yeah we're having fun. And they're like
Starting point is 00:06:16 giggling with each other. We'll watch the clip. We have to. That's the best. There's a new video of him singing. I think he's singing to Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez. I don't even think it's the karaoke version. I think he's just singing over the vocals. He's good.
Starting point is 00:06:31 I love Vin Diesel. I love Vin Diesel. Also, I wish Vin had let us be surprised that this is not the last one. I know. I wish, because the movie, we'll jump to the end here real quick. The movie ends on a huge cliffhanger. In a funny way. In a way that made 50% of the theater cackled when the movie just ended.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Because it's crazy where they end it. There's like a lava waterfall coming down a dam. Fucking huge explosion. It's like, out. And then it's just like, out. And you're like, wait, what? And then we get a Marvel scene after. Bro, we get two Marvel scenes.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Wait, two? Because we get Letty and Cypher leaving with our- With Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot, Giselle. Who dies after being thrown off a plane in eight. She's the third member of the crew to die and come back. Han, Letty. My favorite is Letty dying.
Starting point is 00:07:25 And then for a whole movie, Vin Diesel fucks the whitest woman he could find in Rio de Janeiro, has a brown child with that white woman. With Elena. We meet Elena's younger sister. Everything is so family oriented that we meet everybody in the nobody family,
Starting point is 00:07:42 everybody in Elena's family, a dead character from one movie. We're going to learn Jack Reacher, who's playing the fucking triple agent. He's the guy. Wait, who's Jack Reacher? I don't know the actor's name, but he's the giant Jack Blonde. Oh, the one who was there in Rio de Janeiro on the other side. A bad guy, then a good guy, then a bad guy again.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Boy, that was tough to follow. That was tough to follow. And it happens in like three seconds. I will give them credit. They do a great job with retconning, which means retroactively changing the continuity. But adding Momoa to the scenes from Five was so fun. It was so fun because it was like all the shit that you hadn't seen. And Five is arguably the best movie
Starting point is 00:08:25 for me it's number 2 which is your favorite the first one oh okay yeah 1 rules 5 is my favorite as well
Starting point is 00:08:31 but 5 is like where it takes off and it's 5 is where it's first step into the new genre of movie it has become
Starting point is 00:08:38 where like Marvel cars this is insane Marvel cars at one point my friend was like what is he doing and I was like
Starting point is 00:08:44 it's Nas and she was like doing and I was like it's Nas and she was like okay and I was like it makes the car superheroes it's magic juice that you can have everyone has in a car
Starting point is 00:08:54 and by the way every plane in this movie has three cars inside of it it's always like alright we gotta head here it's like do you have the plane
Starting point is 00:09:01 with my fucking Chevy in it it's like yeah of course Vin of course we do Vin we're not gonna leave you without a car and I love that his dad's car has made it through so many movies this car has been dropped from planes it is driven off uh bridges i think it gets destroyed in five i think it keeps getting like it's always like back with his oh you know what else i thought was fun about this movie it started with this the corona brunch the corona barbecue at
Starting point is 00:09:23 home every movie ends with the Corona barbecue. This one kicked it off. They couldn't end with it because the movie didn't end. Yes. Right. The next one will end with it. Yes. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:09:34 My God. Oh, and then The Rock, at that final, final scene, I was the only one in the theater who went, he said he wasn't going to be here. It's The Rock. Dude, that's so funny you say that. Because in the beginning of the movie, when they go to, I guess, Rome. When they go to Rome because Roman and Tej are on their own mission. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:53 And Scott Eastwood, Mr. Nobody Junior, is so handsome. So unnecessary to the film. It's funny. It's almost like they need him because he is a white guy. It's like the first movie, it's like the first- Where they need white people. Yeah, they're like,
Starting point is 00:10:09 shit. It's too diverse. And we have, we have a fucking Pete Davidson where we don't know what he is. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:10:15 So we can't, we can't count him as white. I think the most amount of ethnically ambiguous actors ever have been cast in the Fast franchise, right? The ethnically ambiguous Avengers. And Vin loves it because he can make anyone his family. Yes. It's like he could be ever have been cast in the Fast franchise. The ethnically ambiguous Avengers.
Starting point is 00:10:27 And Vin loves it because he can make anyone his family. It's like it could be a black guy, an Asian guy, whoever. He's like, it's my brother. John Cena, Vin Diesel. As much as I love John Cena, I was like, that's your brother? And it's Jacob with a K? The fact that it's Vin Diesel, John Cena, and fucking Jordana Brewster are the threes.
Starting point is 00:10:44 And this is the three so far. So far. This movie will introduce a fourth Toretto sibling. I hope so. I guarantee it. Yeah. Scott Eastwood showing up in that truck in the beginning of the movie. He eventually has to dive out of the truck.
Starting point is 00:10:55 He gets hurt. We don't see him for the rest of the movie. That truck pulls up. That's the rocks. That's Hobbes' truck. Yes. So I go to Tiffany. He's not even supposed to be in this movie.
Starting point is 00:11:03 That's what I said to my friend. And then Scott Eastwood gets out. And Tiffany's like, huh? And I'm like, no, I mean, I's not even supposed to be in this movie. That's what I said to my friend. And Scott Eastwood gets out and Tiffany's like huh? And I'm like no I mean I guess he is supposed to be in this movie. And then at the end I'm like this is what I was talking about. Tiffany's like I am so bored. And I'm like yeah. It's been two and a half hours and we're getting it
Starting point is 00:11:18 to be continued. You are right. No she is wrong. Agreed. I truly screamed when The Rock appeared on screen and nobody else in the theater could care. It's so funny that that means that it was marketing that they were in the news saying that they hated each other. Yes, but also. But that makes it fun. That makes it goofy and silly.
Starting point is 00:11:40 And The Rock knows what he's doing here. Makes it like professional wrestling. It does where there's like rivalries and drama. And I love that there's drama. It's, man. I will say, the coolest thing, I was a little blue-balled by it being a sequel. Like, by it being half of two movies. But they were able to kind of spread the action around.
Starting point is 00:12:04 We got like one statham scene we know statham is gonna go rescue fucking his mom helen mirren yes and that's gonna be a dope scene that we know we're gonna see so fucking fun we know we're gonna have a han and giselle reunion we know cypher is going to play into this movie in some way she's like kind of becoming a good guy now. Even though she killed Vin's baby mama in front of Vin. In front of Vin. Almost killed this kid. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Put a gun to the kid's head. In a perfect scene where she asks him something and the answer is family. And it made me laugh so hard. She was like, what's most important to you? Family. Would you believe it's family? Family.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I loved, while we're on Cypher, I thought this movie was one of the best uses of Letty yet. Yes. Her fight with Cypher was awesome. Her motorcycle through Italy was cool as hell. It was really cool. I loved when she escaped and then it's like Antarctica or whatever and she's just like, fuck. I was like, oh. So she does react to things.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Yeah, she does have emotions. She does do more than just scream, Dom! Also, she's not young anymore. This is the hottest she's looked. She looks great. She looks fun. Her and, like, the scene with her and Charlize fighting. Tiffany looked over at me.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I was like. It was so good. I was like, oh, my God, they're so pretty, and they're hitting each other. I love this. I was like, I hope they're friends at the end of this. I hope they scissor. I hope this fight ends with them just coming. Let them come.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Please let them come. Also, the costume designer, for whatever reason, was truly just having the time of their life. Every woman was in white pants. I don't know if you noticed that. So was Vin, as always. Vin pops in with his white pants. I love those white pants. Also, Rita Moreno was in a head-to-toe white ensemble with just like a big belt buckle.
Starting point is 00:13:47 It looked awesome. She had a corona popping off them. It's like great grandma is here and you're like, what the fuck? But they acted like she had been there the whole time. Yep. That's what I like about these movies. That she's the one who spoke the whole time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:00 And then I was like, so that's the grandmother of John Cena? Yeah, that's John Cena's grandma is Rita Moreno. It's perfect. Also, were you laughing? The hardest we were laughing in the movie was when Jordana Brewster, who looks like she maybe weighs 79 pounds. Oh, when she started fighting? She's fighting all those guys in armor and like John Cena's upstairs fighting
Starting point is 00:14:20 the same amount of guys and it's like, this is a little confusing. I was screaming. It was so funny to me. Jordana Brewster's parts in this movie are funny to me because- I feel bad for her in a way.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Why don't they give her any- Because I guess the plot is kind of like she's with Brian. But also it's insane. Because Brian, everyone is dead and come back to life
Starting point is 00:14:40 but Brian is not dead. That's the thing. Brian is not dead but he is dead in real life. And then named his son after a living friend. Lil B. And then I'm like, why doesn't Jordana Brewster, what's her name in the movies? Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Mia. Mia, yes. Why doesn't Mia bring her husband? Why does she leave him at home? Why doesn't he come? It's so funny that we're all okay with it because I think Paul Walker's death is the best an actor's death has ever been handled in a franchise. I honestly think so. Carrie Fisher got fucked over.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Even Mark Hamill, who's alive, kind of got fucked over in The Mandalorian. All these actors get fucked over. Because they CGI their faces onto stuff, right? And this was like the only CGI face we saw of Paul Walker was his brother. Was his brother playing, yeah, which is a sweet tribute. I sobbed. When they drove off in separate directions at the end of 7, I was weeping. Same.
Starting point is 00:15:36 That's one of the most powerful parts of any of the movies. It's so good. And also showing this flashback to 5, let's Paul Walker be in the fucking movie. And live in a way that's authentic because it's like it's footage of real him we're not adding it yeah this has already happened also that's kind of like a cool thing because that money goes to his family yeah and his daughter's in the movie oh yeah she's a flight attendant that's fucking awesome that scene was wild where she just gave him
Starting point is 00:16:06 a little mini bottle, gave Cena a little mini bottle of vodka and he's like, I know exactly what to do. We gotta go into the baggage bin. Where I have a kayak that turns into a plane that we see for one second and never again. It's perfect. They land it by a cave
Starting point is 00:16:22 and get in the rocket car. John Cena is like off fucking a mad professor just inventing shit behind his back. I love it. It's literally just perfect. Also, I want pictures of Jason Momoa's outfits. Me too. I want to buy them. I kind of want you to dress like that.
Starting point is 00:16:40 That's sort of what Tiffany was saying too. I was like, this is Gabrus. I was like, I is gay-brist. I was like, I love this. That would be like me if I had someone who bought clothes for me. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:16:50 Like if I got to the level where they were like, what do you want to wear on the red carpet? I'd be like, this kind of shit. Yeah. It's like lounge singer.
Starting point is 00:16:57 It's kind of androgynous and loungy and like recreational and summery but also like kooky. Yes, very kooky, very Miami. Everyone's clothes in this movie are fucking awesome. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:09 The one thing this movie wins every time is locations, clothes, and music. Because it's always places you want to go to. Come on, gasoline. They fucking, whoops, I broke the mic when that started happening. I lost my mind. I love that song so fucking much. It was so pumped to chant Gasolina.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Such a good song. Okay. Should we take a quick break? I think we should. Take a quick break. If you're wondering what a NordVPN is, I'll tell you. VPN stands for Virtual Private Network, a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy. A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for
Starting point is 00:17:53 your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. I'm using a NordVPN myself. And honestly honestly it's very easy to use you connect with one click to enable auto connect for zero click protection it has amazing speed nord vpn is one of the fastest vpns out there and it supports every major platform windows android ios linux even android tv you can switch your virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive NordVPN deal here at nordvpn.com slash newcomers, N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Link is in the episode description. All right, now we're back with the Toronto Gazetto.
Starting point is 00:18:47 No fucking way, we're still doing that. I love that. Our weekly news segment is back. Okay, The Rock returns as Hobbs in Fast X after vowing to never come back. We said that. It's in the post-credits scene. If you didn't see it you missed return of the rock
Starting point is 00:19:05 and uh his name is luke hobbs i was excited we talked about it it's a huge addition to five i'm stoked to have him back especially in this situation because we got a lot of roman tej and yes uh han in this movie so i think we're gonna see more of like hobbs and letty like they're gonna spread it around. And Hobbes, threatening Hobbes, is very exciting. And you know Statham's gonna grab his brother. Of course. Who's in a couple other movies.
Starting point is 00:19:33 What? Owen Shaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Luke and Owen Shaw. So they're gonna get him. There's gonna be a variety of crews. Yes. And with Reacher being a right-hand man at the end, it gives the rock and people can go after Reacher and Toretto can go after Dante.
Starting point is 00:19:55 It's going to be like... It's as if you've written the movie. Gabriel, do you want to write a script? Someone has to. I wonder if this is already shot. I wonder if they shot it concurrently. I feel like this better be one of those, it's one year away. I really hope so.
Starting point is 00:20:12 I don't want to wait two years for Fast X2. X1? X11? X11? Oh, is it X1? I don't know. XI for sure. Honestly, I have major rock fatigue. Okay. i'm kind of tired of him being in every movie
Starting point is 00:20:27 and he is kind of i like i loved him he's just a little too sexless and like unthrilling as an actor but this is the franchise where everyone is weirdly sexless and unthrilling and he comes in and he comes across as a fucking gangbusters in these movies. So I'm excited for him to come back, not as a lead. I agree. I like, well, I did really love Hobbs and Shaw. I'm one of the few people who loved that movie. You are one of the few people.
Starting point is 00:20:56 And I can't believe it was made for me and I didn't like it. I thought it was so fun. I bet you if Hobbs and Shaw came out like three months ago and was the first we saw of it, it would be, everyone would like it. I feel like we were in a little bit of a fatigue moment of that. Maybe a little fatigue with it, but I thought it was so fun. I brought Sashir afterwards. She was like, that movie was fun as hell!
Starting point is 00:21:17 Idris Elba is like a cyborg killer at the end of it. He's a beautiful cyborg. I was like, I love this. This is for me! Now The Rock coming back is huge news. It's such big news. And also, right before he crushed the cell phone, I screamed, crush it! You knew he was going to crush it.
Starting point is 00:21:32 It was so fucking awesome. He crushes everything. I loved it. But I think the Gal Gadot return, the Gisele return, is bigger in-world news, bigger real-life news, is that The Rock is fine with working with, but that's what makes me think The Rock is going to be off against Jack Reacher. So they don't have any scene together.
Starting point is 00:21:51 One scene together one day. Also, Han was sad in this movie. Han was sad. He wasn't his usual charismatic self. He only ate a little bit he only got one snack scene one little snack
Starting point is 00:22:07 yeah that was a really fun reveal in the Statham scene where he was punching a heavy bag and then later the heavy bag unzips and someone was in there
Starting point is 00:22:14 that he was beating up that's fucking crazy that made me laugh so hard and nobody in the theater was laughing and then when he like ran up the stairs and they left that in
Starting point is 00:22:21 I was like that's funny that's funny yeah guys we're having fun here this is Fast and the Furious and I thought that in. I was like, that's funny. Guys, we're having fun here. This is Fast and the Furious. And I thought that Roman, who I love to make fun of, that the movie
Starting point is 00:22:31 chose a male model to be the comic relief. It is very funny. But Pete Davidson is a buddy. Rome shines in this movie. And Pete Davidson is legitimately a funny guy. And Rome and Luda, to a degree, they hold their own. I like their dumb banter. I like is legitimately a funny guy. Yeah. And Luda, to a degree. They hold their own.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I like their dumb banter. I like their dumb banter, too. I like that you want to drive, you get to drive in the little... With the little head? I cackled. That was very funny.
Starting point is 00:22:56 I slapped my thigh three times when they revealed the little Tej head on top of the remote control car. That was very funny to me. Yeah, yeah. That worked. I think...
Starting point is 00:23:03 Rome having the cash shirt on, that made me laugh. That was very funny. I love Pete. I just didn't. I was like, why? I know we're doing cameos and that's a fun time. But this one was, it just, it felt like wasted.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Well, and then he also ended up being like a rat too. Yeah. And I was like, that's not fun. I want Pete to be a hero. Yeah, I want Pete to be part of the family. I want Pete. The better joke would have been like, now Ramsey's is dating Pete. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Because everyone wants Ramsey. I forgot about Ramsey. There are so many characters in this franchise. Dude, when Scott Eastwood, when that truck pulls up, I'm like, The Rock. And then Scott Eastwood gets out. I'm like, right. And then I'm like, yeah. And then Brie Larson shows up, who's a huge star.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yes. And she's like, I'm 15th on the call sheet. and I have two lines, and my name is Mrs. Nobody. That's fucking, Brie Larson is like academy level actor. She's an academy level actor. She's Mrs. Marvel or whoever. Yeah, she's Ms. Marvel, Captain Marvel. Whatever. Little Lady Marvel.
Starting point is 00:24:01 She's a little Marvel lady. She's Baby Girl Marvel. Cuckoo caca ain't Marvel. I'm the Marvel baby. I need breast milk. I's the little Marvel lady. She's Baby Girl Marvel. You're Cuckoo Gaga in Marvel. I'm the Marvel baby. I need breast milk. I need magic colostrum. I need. From Thanos.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I was going to say something and then I got confused. I was going to say blue milk, but I think that's Star Wars. That is, but look at you. We're blending all three newcomers franchises into one here. I know things. All we need is some lembas bread. I don't know. That's Lord of the Rings. Oh, God. Sorry. I think things. All we need is some lembas bread. I don't know. That's Lord of the Rings.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Oh, God. Sorry. I think you did that, right? We did. And I know you love it, but, like, I just don't get it. That is completely...
Starting point is 00:24:34 Those fucking hobbits and their feet. I am... I just don't get it. The feet. Dude, let's talk about one sequence in the movie.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Okay. When Dom... Because this happens in every movie And it's one of my favorite parts of the movie They always have to show Dom Go to some Central or South American country Where he's friends with everybody Where he's friends with everybody Maybe is the same ethnicity as everyone
Starting point is 00:24:59 But no one will speak to it But we can't, we can't talk about it So when he goes to Rio for the street race And then his boys are there and then the girl is there who hates him who we reveal later is Elena's little sister but she's currently Dante's girlfriend and Dante
Starting point is 00:25:14 shows up. Wait, was she Dante's girlfriend? She went over to him when he showed up. But I thought he was trying to hit on her but she didn't want it. I truly did not understand what was going on at that part. But him, when they all pulled guns on each other, I leaned over to Tiffany and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:25:29 how funny it would be if these guys just murdered. If 150 people died in this sequence. Because they do, the movie does such a great job of the bad guys have on such intense armor, and when they throw anyone out of a car or something, they always show them
Starting point is 00:25:45 land yes well they also say uh i think they said in this movie they were like a bomb went off in rome no casualties right somehow they always got it into water nobody's dead but these are the most wanted terrorists and they're all family it's but you absolutely right. They're like, we are not killing people here. That is not the best and furious way. No, everyone put your guns away and let's just race. We just got to race. And how come it's a four-person race? And how come those two people get to be in the race?
Starting point is 00:26:15 The race is like for Vin to stay alive or for Dante to go to jail. And it's like two more people are like, oh, well, we're racing too. And then Dante's like, who gets to live? well we're racing too and then dante's like who gets to live and i'm like how did he have the time how does he is the most flamboyant person how is he putting i know especially because like halfway through the movie we find him get his crew but he's like yeah finally i have an army it's like wait well how'd you get all this other shit done in the beginning uh and then that dude died and this is the power of the fucking franchise that dude who we've seen in like three other movies.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Yes. Who I can't place his name. I don't know his name at all. He dies. And it is kind of sad. Because nobody dies in these movies. Wait, did he die in a plane? Wait, how did he die?
Starting point is 00:26:57 He died because his car blew up. Yes. And then Vin was able to save Elena's sister by knocking her so that she flipped. Yes, yes, yes. So she flipped and it was on its side and it didn't blow up. I was like, wait, what? And also, it reminded me of almost the exact same scene from, is it three? Where they flip over to knock the mine off the bottom of the car.
Starting point is 00:27:19 They do this exact move in a different movie where they go upside down to knock something that's like tracking them or going to make them blow up. I forget what happens. And it's the same exact thing that happens. It makes sense that it's crazy that they don't repeat a lot of stuff based on how like, yo, this actually really worked last time. Let's just do the dune buggy thing again. I do love that they used five as a template because I think that the safe is the best thing I've seen. Well, I'll tell you what, it's so smart to show that again because it is the best
Starting point is 00:27:49 action set piece they did was that safe at the end of five. So rolling it into this movie is so you get to revisit the, it does point at later on when they're doing the rolling flaming bomb how that ball that was on fire
Starting point is 00:28:06 rolling through Rome that they're like bumper carring around. My favorite was all of the people on vacation it would get this close to them and they would magically get away from this bomb rolling towards them. Or what about when Vin Diesel when Dom Toretto knocks the awning down
Starting point is 00:28:22 to protect the people from the flaming bomb having what's it called? Cafe al fresco? Dining outside. And he shields them. Oh, man. That was, this movie is perfect. There's a video game called Rocket League, which is like soccer with cars.
Starting point is 00:28:38 And that's literally what they're doing. They must have been inspired by the video game, which is like a kid's game. I will say, something I don't like in modern action movies is digital fire. I think it looks really bad. And this movie has a lot of the fake on that bomb and at the end on the dam that like visual effects. Fire doesn't look the same as like something really burning. I guess I've never quite clocked that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Take a look. Next time you're watching one of these modern movies, see what real, cause I have an advantage. I watch a lot of like seventies, eighties and nineties movies. And you see like a real, even in the worst fucking nineties movie, if a car explodes,
Starting point is 00:29:17 it really explodes. And you're like watching a Netflix movie now where it's like, just like a digital, or it like happens off camera. Cause everything's inside and a Netflix movie. Have it's like just like a digital or it like happens off camera because everything's inside in a Netflix movie. Have you seen the movie? Oh, God, what's it called? It's like the it's Sylvester Stallone and he plays a bomb expert.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Oh, yes. The specialist. Yes. How did this get made on it? Yes. I watched it again. It's so good. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:29:43 It's crazy. I think all those explosions are practical. Yes. And it looks wild. And that's what makes the movie so much richer than you could imagine. I agree. Yeah, it really works. Even in puppets versus digital characters.
Starting point is 00:29:55 The puppets hit different because there's substance to them. You can tell. This movie takes place in so many different places. Brazil. California. Rome. Los Angeles. Antarctica. Naples. Rio. place in so many different places brazil california rome los angeles antarctica naples rio uh london yeah antarctica portugal it's absolutely and so much happens in this movie that like i forgot like i was just like wait what what happened on the drive over here to the studio, I was like, oh shit, we got to talk about this movie. Let's remember some parts.
Starting point is 00:30:28 And it started coming back to me. And I was like, there's whole, you know what just came back to me? I'm like, how did Cypher get in this movie? So her flashback to when Dante. Yes. And that's great. That's awesome action sequence. That was so fun.
Starting point is 00:30:41 With the guns turning on and off and all that. Where it was like, all of your families will die unless you kill her. And then immediately you're like, you. And I was like, ah! It's really fucking cool. And then he kills the one guy who has no family. He didn't even have a little kitty cat. Very funny. Ice is one guy. So good. But she
Starting point is 00:30:57 And then she arrives in a DeLorean. She jumps out of the window of this building to stay alive and then off camera she gets into a car. A DeLorean. And is like, I gotta get to Dom's house. A DeLorean concept vehicle. Because it's not a real car.
Starting point is 00:31:12 And drives on over to Dom and is like, I need help. Trust me, I don't want to be here either. She interrupts Letty and Dom having a sexual, non-sexual encounter. The most sexual the movie gets, with the exception of their wedding, where they hold the cross together. That is coming for the Toretto family, is just passing the rose.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Just passing it. You have to keep faith. Faith, family. Faith, family, and fucking, the three Fs of the franchise. Fast, furious, faith, family, and fucking. The three Fs of the franchise. Fast, furious, faith, family, fucking. That's what it should say outside the marquee of the next show you and I do together. It really, really should.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Another funny part of this movie that I wanted to call out is there's that sequence where he goes to the old uh the police station from brazil and when he goes in there dante's got screens of dom it's all these screens of dom and pictures of dom and even when we see dom's workspace in the garage there's all these pictures and it's really funny when movies do this when the pictures are just shots from the movie because there's a picture of letty behind the wheel and through the windshield i'm like who took that of her there's a picture of dom and letty at their wedding and they're got married alone in like the dominican or whatever yeah who took that on set photographer yes it's from the dp it's a screenshot of a previous movie also
Starting point is 00:32:42 in dom's workspace there's a picture of Brian, and I'm like, but Brian is still alive. Yes, it feels weird. It's like he never comes over anymore. He's hanging out with his kid who's named Little V. Is it? No, I don't know. Little D? That's so funny that you could say that. I'm like, oh, I missed that part. You might have. Because it could have happened.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Let's talk about Lil B for a minute. Lil B. Does anyone get more facial reaction shots in a movie than Lil B? This is my impression of Lil B. And my friend was working hard. A dozen times throughout the movie he gets this shot. As cars just sail over him. And me and Tiffany were talking about the drive home. I'm like, that poor kid had so much work to do.
Starting point is 00:33:22 And Tiffany's like, what else would you do in that situation? And I'm like, you're right. You would just go like, whoa, whoa. And that's what it is. His dad is like flying out of cars. He's flying out of cars. But this kid has seen violence that most adults haven't seen. Well, the craziest part about the movie,
Starting point is 00:33:39 the craziest part about Lil B being in the movie, I know we keep saying the craziest part, but the movie easily out-heightens itself the whole time. Lil B being in the movie. I know we keep saying the craziest part, but the movie easily out-heightens itself the whole time. He pulls the lever at one point in Jacob's fucking cannon car and shoots
Starting point is 00:33:51 the cannon that has got a bad guy driving in it, and the car blows up. Lil B murdered. Lil B and it was a bad guy, but Lil B is in and has killed someone, yes. And then watched his uncle die. I know.
Starting point is 00:34:07 But I think Cena's going to come back. The movie's lost all stat. You're like, everyone's just going to come back to life. Everyone just has to come back. Cena, I was like, I do have a note for the director. I was like, you could have told Cena that you were spinning him around. Because he was just kind of static in the car as it's just moving around. And I was like, that's a choice.
Starting point is 00:34:21 of static in the car as it's just moving around. And I was like, that's a choice. But I watched... I was kind of... In this movie, which I thought didn't have the same emotional beats as previous ones, that's what I thought was missing that made it a little weaker. But I thought that Momoa brings it up in an energy level.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I thought that the... Cena and Lil B. Cena and Lil B. That moment, that's the emotional heart of the movie. I loved it. Every scene with them. I feel like, this is crazy to say, I feel like Toretto didn't get enough non-action stuff to do. That's not crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:55 You are correct. That's what I think is, and that's why I'm hoping the sequel has way more of it. Because that's the fucking magic of the movie that people forget. Is that all the dumb action is fun, but it's weirdly grounded in the emotion and the family and the love shit that Vin brings that I don't think he was bringing as hard in this movie because they have to pay off like 44 characters. Yes. 44 huge movie stars. There are 18 people in this movie that will lead their own movie. We have a fact.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I think there's like four Oscar nominees or winners in this movie, which is really fucking wild. Yeah, four Oscar winners. Rita Moreno, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, and Brie Larson. All women. All women, yep. and brie lawson all women all women yep well dudes are cast on their fucking shoulders and women are cast on their actual acting talent how pretty are you sir and they're like very very pretty fuck you're right port portugal and london we forgot we left off the list of how many places they act wild in a oh yeah oh and the dude's name who, so I'm glad I get to call it out, is Diago.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Diago. Yeah. Wait, Pete Davidson was in London? Yes. Which is funny because he's like an American guy. Yes. He doesn't have a British accent. Yeah, this is so funny. Because they go there and then they get kicked out of there.
Starting point is 00:36:19 And then they're like, we have another place we can go. And then they go to Shaw's. And it's like, they have like three. That's the side story. And they have like a three false starts over there and then when they go to shaw's shaw's like i'm out of here he's like there's all my guns and shit my mummy that's gonna be so helen mirren absolute fucking smoke this movie's so full of attractive people it kills she's stunning i love her so much absolutely everyone is so hot in this movie everyone is so hot everyone looks really cool their styles are really popping off like people get like like tiffany called it out she's
Starting point is 00:36:49 like everyone's in versace gucci and like everyone's in like top shelf shit the whole movie and like this is what i think budgets should go to yes when you watch a movie like forgive me netflix originals but the gray man or something like that. The Gray Man? Exactly. It's a Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans movie. Costs like $300 million to make. It doesn't look anything close to what this movie looks like. It went to their salaries probably.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Probably. It went to the Russo brothers. And it was just so rich. Oh, they did Silver War. Silver War. Where the North fought the South, famously in the Silver War. War where the north fought the south famously in the
Starting point is 00:37:27 Silver War it was the gold against the silver yes they made Civil War and Avengers Endgame 1 and 2 oh
Starting point is 00:37:34 yeah they were talented they made some good shit I think they got maybe overpaid or out of their box here but this movie
Starting point is 00:37:42 is in locations in these spots it's also driving in this huge desert thing when they show these wide shots in these spots it's also driving in this huge desert thing when they show these wide shots you're like
Starting point is 00:37:49 it's nuts it's great I mean all the Rome stuff was so fun so rad and that was like on location right right
Starting point is 00:37:57 it has to be and they're like the Vatican like bringing the Vatican into it it's going towards the Vatican like the most elevated stakes for a guy who wears a cross everywhere.
Starting point is 00:38:07 We can't kill the Pope. The Pope's in there. The Pope is the original family. Exactly. We both said the same thing. That's the Pope. He's family. Dante.
Starting point is 00:38:17 In the next movie, a guy shows up and rescues him randomly. He's got the big hat and the fucking sports. And he's just like in a Ferrari. It's bulletproof. Isn't it crazy also at one point the back window of vin diesel's car gets shut out you don't have bulletproof glass you're trying flying out of fucking planes yeah out of planes you were smashing this car everywhere like you don't have shatterproof windows um also dante i like that the villain is also like family because his daddy
Starting point is 00:38:48 got murdered it almost makes Dom Toretto understand where he's coming from which in the second movie they probably will be like I get it I took your family away join the crew and then he's like okay
Starting point is 00:39:03 you're in fast 12 and 13 with us now like this movie just rolls bad guys onto the crew i think they really do cypher is gonna be the hardest one to get on though because she's gonna she's gonna because statham actually didn't kill han yes because han ended up being alive statham kind of got a pass. Yes. Fucking Cypher did kill Elena. Elena is dead. Yeah, you are correct. So, like, that's going to be a hard one to get. That's Lil B's birth mom. Maybe in the movie, it's like every couple lines, like,
Starting point is 00:39:33 you murdered my son's mom! And then Letty's like, but I'm here, and he's like, yeah, you're the original family. Right, family. I keep forgetting. Yeah, I keep forgetting. Oh, yeah, the golden, God's eyes in this. Oh, yeah, the golden, God's Eye's in this. Oh, yeah, that's where they locate. They roll in a lot of stuff from previous movies and add this God's Eye having stakes.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Yeah. And now that gives, everyone has a reason to want to be in this movie, which I think is very cool. Roman is mad that he got duped and risked his friends, so now he's pissed. Toretto is pissed for he doesn't have to be fucked with family. Han is gonna, Giselle is gonna be back and Han is gonna have to rescue her
Starting point is 00:40:12 or vice versa is what I really think. I think it's gonna be vice versa. Yeah, because Giselle is, Gal Gadot's a better action star. I just love Han so much and I don't understand why he was so sad during the movie. I know. And Han, you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:40:26 I think Han's gap in the movies, he aged a little more than other. You know what I mean? He did look a little older. He looks a little older than. Yeah. Because the thing about Han, though, is he looks realistic. He looks great. He looks like an adult man.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Yeah. Everyone else is like, there's shots of Toretto where I'm like, this dude is airbrushed in post like it's like yes he's too smooth i think he's got a filter on yes he's got like bald filter where like they don't let him have any like pock marks or like stubble or anything it's just too wild yeah it's like larry david's head on curb when you watch curb they put makeup on larry david's bald part of his head and it makes it too smooth that it's like funny. That's so funny. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Next time you watch Curb, just look how smooth Larry's head is. It's like, it's preternaturally smooth. Never seen Curb one day. Oh, fuck. Well, they should cast you is what they should do.
Starting point is 00:41:16 I've never, I don't, I literally watch nothing. I know. Watch 90 Day Fiance so you can talk about it for money. Hey, listen, you gotta turn your hobbies into something lucrative.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Guys, got an action movie podcast and a cannabis podcast. Yeah, I turned everything I love into- I learned from the best. All you have to do is make everything you love work and then you love nothing. Then everything you do is for monetary purposes. Because you need to stay alive because the world is fucking falling apart. Everyone needs a bunker. It is falling apart.
Starting point is 00:41:50 It is. And it's because of fucking Dante's got the God's eye. He's got the bombs on the moon. He's got everything. He's got the gaucho pants. He's got all the nail polish. I like in the packet under awards, this film has not been nominated for any awards yet yeah we'll see we'll see i mean dom has a very interesting speech at one part
Starting point is 00:42:15 is he talking to helen miriam there's a part where she's in rome and they're like looking at the vatican yes and she's like Dom, da da da da and he's like he has a speech there, right? Yeah, I think so the movie is long and has a hundred speeches but yeah, cause that's kind of where he
Starting point is 00:42:36 the only person he has left is Helen Mirren because everyone's been caught at that point and that's the plot of another, is that the plot of five? Yes, that's the huge plot of. Is that the plot of five? Yes. That's the huge plot of five where they're like enemy number one. Yeah. And they got to drive. This is like the it's so funny when they're labeled as terrorists.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Shouldn't someone be like, should they show someone in their house? Go. These people are terrorists again. They were terrorists. Then they were here. They were terrorists. Four years ago. Four years ago.
Starting point is 00:43:04 And now we're okay and now they're bad again god that's so funny alright I think we covered we covered all the cameos right we talked Gal Gadot shows up
Starting point is 00:43:14 I think that might be the same nuclear sub from earlier but I thought they blew it up in a previous movie it's either it's either a callback to a previous
Starting point is 00:43:23 nuclear sub or it's the second submarine in the Fast and Furious franchise which which movie is that 8?
Starting point is 00:43:31 7 or 8 it's the Cypher one where they get the submarine I think it's 8 I think Cypher comes in 8 that's the one where the rock leans out the car window
Starting point is 00:43:39 grabs a missile and turns it and throws it into another car what a dream Rome snowboards on the car door. Yeah, there's a lot of fun shit in that one. Yeah, that's definitely eight.
Starting point is 00:43:48 That's eight, yeah. It's so hard to remember all of them. Bro, please. They all blend together. It's one through five are the only ones I can truly tell the difference from. And then six through question mark are all blend together.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yeah, they just blend together. And I was trying to explain to my friend, I was like, oh, people come back from the dead dead i was like like han died in three and she was like what and i was like and three comes after i think six yeah or five i don't remember three happens between five and six or between six and seven or something like that in timelines yeah so funny i fucking love it who will be the and i didn't see... The guy Alan Richson, I think is his name. The guy who is Jack Reacher who plays the sidekick guy. Agent Ames.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Oh, is that his name? Yeah. We haven't... He wasn't in trailers and stuff, was he? He wasn't in trailers. Neither was Pete. Those guys were like... Yeah, they were the only surprises of the movie.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Right. But I'm wondering, that means they're setting a precedent that there's gonna be some like who's gonna who here's a positive question for you buyer who would you like to see or who do you think makes the most sense to pop into fast 11 not join the crew and roll in no no but just like see them yeah pete's pete's a good call because he's kind of like zeitgeisty yeah and it makes sense but who would like owen yang i think would be such a delight holy shit and would be so funny honestly the movie needs a gay person right yeah there are no gay people i think we might be hinting that dante might be like and i like that i don't know if dante is i think he might just be an effeminate
Starting point is 00:45:23 man who doesn't care i think he's like you know these guys are a little dated who are writing and working on these movies i think they're like dante should be a metrosexual yeah using words you haven't heard in forever and then the costume designer was like all right fine this and they're like oh this is metrosexual now and she's like yeah yeah yeah whatever shut yeah, whatever. Just shut up. He's cool. That's all it is. He's got taste. Apparently, the scene where he's painting the toenails of the dead people was improvised. And to me, I said, why did you set up some corpses and not give him a script? That feels so crazy. It's like, or like even that, like, oh, hold on. Yeah, let me get two of the guys made up as dead bodies.
Starting point is 00:46:01 I got a good grip here. Oh, yeah, maybe he said that. Who knows? It must have been like he was going to be on a call or something and then reveal them and he's like,
Starting point is 00:46:08 I got some other shit I can do here. Because that's one of the most electric scenes in the movie. It's really funny. Yeah, it really works. I was like truly laughing.
Starting point is 00:46:16 So he did so much funny stuff. I was like, we gotta put this man in comedies. He's got it. Momoa's got it. He's not a wrestler, is he? No. He was from Game of Thrones.
Starting point is 00:46:27 That was his pop-off. He's Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones. You know I don't know that. I know. I've never seen a game or a throne. Well, I mean, you have until season 11 of Newcomers. You'll probably end up watching Game of Thrones at some point. As HeadGum keeps bringing you guys back.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Like, you guys are like the fucking. Oh, the other thing they keep saying in this movie is, Mr. Nobody's on a trip. So you know Kurt Russell's coming back in the next one. I love that he was like, I won't do this one. Right. If you give me a little bit in the next one, I'll come back for just that. Yeah, they clearly set him up to come back. Also, Brie Larson could have killed Dante.
Starting point is 00:47:03 So after the the they're like on the bridge she comes up behind Dante with a gun for like minutes and standing there until he turns around and shoots her and I was like what? Ms. Nobody? The fuck?
Starting point is 00:47:19 She's a total badass like even her plan to like help get Letty out just gets Letty to sit with her arch nemesis. Yeah, and she gets just beat up. Also, I love when he, what's his name? Agent Ames or whatever. It was like, Zoom.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And then she had the crucifix in her hand. Yeah, right. He's like, enhance. We have to go. Make a way to Rio now. He's just always in the plane shouting. Ugh. It's, oh.
Starting point is 00:47:44 So many things are coming back to me I think they're like in the van or whatever and Vin's like or Dom is like you gotta buckle up who wants to come I was like how do he know how do he know and it's really crazy that sequence
Starting point is 00:47:59 that guy doesn't know but then it's revealed he's Dante's guy so that guy did know. He should have been like, whoa, how do you know? I know what's going to happen. I know exactly what's going on. What the fuck? That is so funny.
Starting point is 00:48:13 That's what makes it a lot like they had to shoot him in his bulletproof vest from the chopper to help. When it's all revealed at the end, it's like he should have just slit Dom's. They do a good job of Dante going, no, he must suffer before dying would be like a relief. Most of his lines are, he has to suffer before I take his family. Right, because it's the only way to justify not just killing Dom in like the 45 times they've encountered each other in the first half hour of the movie. Yeah, they've been together so many times. No, if he wanted him dead, he could have just iced him at any moment. Instead he's like, you will suffer.
Starting point is 00:48:47 You must suffer. Oh my God. Him skipping at some point, I think it was in Rome. Yes. I laughed so hard. He was great. He's like, nerds? Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:57 And I need some people to move. Come on, nerds. Even when he was like, during the bomb, the the ball bomb sequence he's kind of like just yeah dancing around conducting it's a lot of fun his hair looks fabulous
Starting point is 00:49:10 he's so fucking pretty good looking dude he was married to Lisa Bonet I know two of the hottest people so hot I would pay good money to watch them
Starting point is 00:49:18 honestly just cook dinner I don't even need to see any nudity I want to do a separate podcast where you and I just list celebrity couples we would want to watch fuck or cook. I mean. I got a list ready to go. Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara. Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:35 That's like Godzilla and King Kong fucking. Oh my God. That's a hot couple. Yes. Dave Franco, Alison Brie, if you want the little version of what you have over there. Okay, I would be curious. I'm curious. They're little cuties.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Little cuties. I would peek through a window, but maybe not stay for all of dinner. But Momoa and Bonet. Oh, God, I would watch them for days. Are they still together? No, I think they just broke up. But I might be wrong. But honestly, who else are you going to find?
Starting point is 00:50:07 That's what's crazy, too, is like, who do you go to after? But I guess Lisa Bonet had Lenny Kravis, and you're like, well, who else are you going to find? And then she found Jason Momoa. So I'm scared of who she's going to find next. Yeah, God, it could be me. If this trajectory continues, I might have to date Lisa Bonet next. And I'll have to break it to Tiff to be like, I'm sorry, you gotta just let him go. You gotta let him go.
Starting point is 00:50:29 It's Lisa Bonet. Jesus, that's why Zoe Kravitz is so fucking gorgeous. She's so pretty. Her parents are Delaney and Lisa Bonet. Holy shit. Yeah. That's why she's so fucking hot. Them good genes.
Starting point is 00:50:39 All the good genes. Yum, yum, yum. Do you drink Diet Coke? I do not, no. Oh, interesting. I'm not a big soda fan. I had a theory that only fat people drink Diet Coke. It does feel like, I feel like Diet Coke goes hand in hand with fat people and cigarette smokers.
Starting point is 00:51:00 See a lot of, and I'm all of them. I am. She's fat. She loves, I am trying so hard to quit again. I am. She's fast. I am trying so hard to quit again. It ain't easy, fam. I did it for a year. I quit for a full year because I read this book, The Easy Way to Quit. I think I've got to read it again.
Starting point is 00:51:16 People say that works well. This will be the third time I've read it. The first time I got to the end, I was like, oh, I think I want to quit. So I stopped reading it. Second time I read it and I was like, I, I think I want to quit. So I stopped reading it. Second time I read it and I was like, I think I'm good and done forever. So I think I'm going to read it a third time and hopefully be done forever. Yeah, that would be good.
Starting point is 00:51:32 You don't need five checked boxes in the what will kill me category. You know what I mean? We have enough. I have so many. I was in a situation recently where some friends were, some people, they're not my friends, but they were on, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:47 doing a little nose nachos. And I was like, someone's like, Gabrus? And I was like, no, I'm gonna leave one thing off the list of shit that kills bad people. The heart is already pumping a lot. It's working overtime. I'm already sweating and we're
Starting point is 00:52:03 in air conditioning. I don't think, and I'm already talking more than anyone else at we're in air conditioning I don't think and I'm already talking more than anyone else at this party I do not need the fucking yak honestly that is very funny I don't think I'd ever
Starting point is 00:52:11 want to see you on code no no one should I think it would just be really upsetting I would just talk until I died right in front of you which is already
Starting point is 00:52:18 how I'm gonna go at a party in front of you might as well not be now and everyone's like just leave him be just let him go he went out going the way he wanted
Starting point is 00:52:24 screaming about Fast X. God, I love this movie. It was written by Daniel Mazzo and Justin Lin, directed by Louis Leterrier. Now, how crazy is that? Because Justin Lin was supposed to be directing it. And then I think for a week they had no director. He got a huge kill fee to walk away. Because he got, the rumor is he got like a huge contract.
Starting point is 00:52:52 That was like, look, I don't want to do another movie. Vin is too like, he has too much power. It's too hard to work with him. And they're like, no. And this is what I heard. So forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn. I will do every rewrite Vin wants to do on the script. But once the script is locked, I am shooting.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I am the director when we get on set. And in like the first week, it just wasn't that dynamic. Oh, and so they were like, no, we promise. And he goes, but if Vin breaks this, I'm going to walk away and I need a huge kill fee. So I think he got like his directing fee for two movies because he's supposed to direct the sequel too. Yeah. I think he got his fee for both those movies for one week of actual production. I mean, there's a ton of pre-pro and he co-wrote the movie and all that.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy put in effort. But he is a bit of the magic of what made the movies bounce back. I think he's a great director because he did five. He did five, yeah. And maybe the movie would have been better if Justin Lin just had his way do you know what I mean yeah because it's like five was so good it's the best in the franchise they base it off the best in the franchise and he knows it
Starting point is 00:53:56 right so it's like maybe he did write a great movie yeah I'm sure he did that's the thing like but I'm sure Vin is the magic sauce he knows it so he brings it but like i think vin needs to be like just five percent less powerful and then it'll be fine because he is he is the thing that gets these movies made like he's unstoppable he's great he's literally the meta of the movie the fact that like the actor vin diesel is kind of unstoppable and whatever he wants to do, translates so well to the character of Dominic Toretto. It's truly perfect. Someone was
Starting point is 00:54:30 shitting on Vin Diesel and I was like, I loved him as Groot. He was a tree that just said, I am Groot. And I cried when he said, we are Groot. Power. Holy shit. Powerful. Wait, you saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3? Not for work? For... Isn't that... No, I haven't seen this.
Starting point is 00:54:46 That's the one that just came out? Yeah. Does he say we are Groot in that one? Oh, no, he says we are Groot in two. In the first one. Oh, in the first one? When he turns into a big ball of sticks. Well, spoiler alert, in the third.
Starting point is 00:54:57 He says we are Groot in the third one? No, he says I love you guys. No! I have to see it now. You have to, yeah. And Vin is great in Saving Private Ryan. He has a small part in that. He's very good.
Starting point is 00:55:13 And he's very good in the movie Boiler Room. And you know how he got that part in Saving Private Ryan? I've never told you. No. He did a short film. Oh, called Ambiguous. It's like multifacial or something. Yes. It's like. Where he's not black enough. He's not white enough. He's like Multifacial or something.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Yes, it's like. Where he's not black enough, he's not white enough, he's an actor and he's auditioning. Yeah, Multifacial. It's like a pun on Multiracial or something like that or Biracial, right? It's pretty good. He's a good actor. He is good. And when he's a serious role, he's good. I don't think he could ever be humbled and like return.
Starting point is 00:55:44 No. Like he's gone the route of like stallone and schwarzenegger where they can't do anything that isn't like directly in their wheel i should say or to a lesser degree he makes some choices but still there's a i think paul sheer said this on that podcast that i did about the specialist yeah that schwarzenegger once tricked stallone into doing a bad movie because he said that he was attached to it. That was like, I want it. And that's how he got Stallone to be in Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Was Arnold got the script. He thought it was so bad. Didn't want to do it. He's like, but I know it'll get Stallone to want to do it if I say I'm going to do it. So he started to say it. So Stallone thinks he stole that movie from Arnold. And that ends up being a fucking bomb. That sucks.
Starting point is 00:56:25 And if you've ever seen that movie, it's insane. Stallone is like a crazy cop, and Estelle Getty plays his mom who comes to stay with him while he's in the middle of solving a huge case. Features a sequence in which she washes his gun in the sink, and also another sequence where she rips the blanket off of him,
Starting point is 00:56:41 and he's sleeping in a child's pose in tighty whities like presenting his asshole it's bananas I should just send you that visual just that one clip you really should that's truly wild that's the kind of important information I could bring to an episode of newcomers about fast acts it is wild that you have
Starting point is 00:56:59 seen so many movies my brain is broken no I don't know I think your brain is a beautiful thing it works for what it's gotta work for, I guess. Okay. We're back. So, Fast X had a budget of $340 million.
Starting point is 00:57:23 This movie was released two weeks ago. Yeah. And has already made back the money. This movie was released five days ago from our recording, but from this episode air. I just want to say that's how fucking on top of it you and I are. We have already seen it. We've already seen it.
Starting point is 00:57:39 And before we even, and we asked to do a newcomers. We were like, should we ask to do newcomers? We're going to go see it. We're going to see it anyway. And everyone's like, content is all that matters. Let's go print it. But it made $344 million worldwide. Critically, film not well received.
Starting point is 00:57:55 It has 54% on Rotten Tomatoes. Richard Roper gave the film two out of four stars, saying everyone slips comfortably into their roles. That's a good thing. And does what they can with goofy dialogue and death defying logic defeating stunt sequences all right many critics praise jason momoa i think there's a line in the movie from agent ames who and he's like if they if they if it involves cars they've done it twice or whatever they've been to outer space they've been to this they've been to that and it involves cars, they've done it twice. I laughed very hard. I enjoyed this movie.
Starting point is 00:58:27 It's so funny. Okay. So audience members, they like it. It has 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. And I think that's more on par with what this movie is. Family has said 22 times in this movie, apparently. Beating F9's total family count by 15. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:58:44 That's awesome. And then yeah Paul Walker's daughter Summer Walker had a cameo in the movie. She's a flight attendant who helps Jacob and Brian get away from the agency. Let's see. Oh for a week there was no director. Michelle Rodriguez said that when she and Charlize Theron filmed their fight scene no principal
Starting point is 00:59:00 director was on set. They had a second unit director. That's wild. That makes sense though because that's a kind of sequence that is directed by like the fight choreographer. They had a second unit director. That's wild. That makes sense, though, because that's the kind of sequence that is directed by, like, the fight choreographer on second unit guy. But that scene is fucking fun.
Starting point is 00:59:12 It's really fun. It's crazy how bad they beat each other. And then I really do think it's funny that Lettie climbs the whole pipe, gets upstairs, it's too cold, comes all the way down, ciphers out. And then Charlize is like,
Starting point is 00:59:22 you want a jacket? Here, bitch, here's your boots. Yeah. That was my edging sequence. I can't wait to get that on home video so I can fucking crank it to those two beating the shit out of each other. I think for the next one,
Starting point is 00:59:37 I think I'm going to watch all of them and then just roll into it being like, I'm fresh. I know everything that's going on. I might even watch Hobbs and Shaw again. Look, this is so obnoxious, but I want to come over and do it.
Starting point is 00:59:51 You want to do it? Yeah. Let's get fucking a bunch of drugs and just watch 10 movies in a weekend. I'll leave like twice. Perfect. I'm very down to do this. Let's do it. I'm in.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Okay. This is great. I'm very down to do this let's do it I'm in okay this is great I'm very excited I do wish I didn't know that there was another movie coming until the movie do you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 01:00:12 yes and I think that's a problem with a lot of stuff is that you know like even with TV series I hate when I'm watching a show and you know like it's like oh
Starting point is 01:00:20 this is already renewed or whatever yeah exactly I just but I wish we were going into this and then it was a surprise that there's going to be a fast 11 in like 18 minutes or whatever. Because I tried really hard to like be surprised. Like when the movie ended, I was like, oh. And then I started laughing because I was like, yeah, we all knew.
Starting point is 01:00:37 The crowd cackled when they just like look up at the dam that's on fire. The dam, we should say that. That is CGI. That Dom just drove down. Yes, just drove down. And like a ramp, while fire is pouring over the side, fire mixed with water, because it's being blown up.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Oh, because no, because two oil tankers crash into each other. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Causing a wave of fire. Yes. But then, when they get down to the bottom, just somehow survive,
Starting point is 01:01:04 the kid gets out of the car. Like, I love that the kid swims up. Like, everyone is like an insane athlete. Everyone ends up in the water. They swim to the top. And then they're like on the rocks and they look up. They look up. And then we see those mines that were on the cars now are all over the.
Starting point is 01:01:20 There's like five of them. Oh, and right before that, fucking Ames shot a bazooka at Roman's plane. And we know Roman, Tej, and Ramsey's didn't die. Yes, they didn't die, but we're led to believe that family's dead. His brother just died. Who was flying that plane? They are dead. Because you know these motherfuckers are going to come driving off the mountain.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Because they all had their cars in there with yes oh my god they probably like uh what uh what is it parachuted their cars right before they got hit because right before ludacris was like oh no so they knew it was coming something was happening uh he says like rome it's a trap or whatever yeah uh that just reminded me i know we're jumping around like crazy but the gold Lamborghini was fucking dope that was fucking sick that was aspirational I saw one in Beverly Hills and I rolled down my window and just kept screaming
Starting point is 01:02:14 cool car cool car and they didn't roll down their window it's a flex and a half if you have a gold Lamborghini you're just saying hate me yeah hate me I have so much fucking money and I don't fucking care. It's perfect for Roman's character. All to reveal that the reason it needed to be gold was for a brief moment to blind the
Starting point is 01:02:32 drivers of the- Oh, yeah. That's it. That was it. But honestly, I love those little things. Me too. I love that. It's like a whole complex thing that's like, we're just going to blind somebody.
Starting point is 01:02:41 And I like that Han was mad that he was in a British car. There's a lot of fun stuff like that. Family. Let's get some reviews from the Toronto Gazette. Review! That's what it is.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Salud mi familia. Money will come and go, we know that. The most important thing in life will always be the Gabrus and Nicole vibrating at identically horny wavelengths to God's favorite movie series right here, right now. We weren't pretty horny for him. Reese Wallace, you are correct, sir. Very, very correct. You are correct, fam.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Very correct. I was so horny for Jason Momoa the whole time. I had that weird kind of heterosexual reaction to him where I'm like, I want to be him. Wait, I think that means you kind of want to blow him. And that's great. That's okay. And like Cena's...
Starting point is 01:03:36 He looks so good in those shorts. He looks so... I know. That's the part I was like, damn, Cena, pull that off. I was like, these legs! He's got them. Dude's a fucking buff. He's so nice, too. Yeah, I know. That makes me... When you told me off. I was like, these legs. He's got them. Yes. Dude's a fucking buff. He's so nice, too. Yeah, I know. That makes me, when you told me that, I was so happy. He's the nicest.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Yeah. And he smells really good. He smells so good. He mix and matches his colognes. Dude's a fucking legend. He'll be like, oh, I mix sandalwood with elderberry today. I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:02 So awesome. And everyone looked fucking hot in this movie. So our horniness was at peak level the whole time. I'm so excited for Fast 11. This is a movie where everyone is so good looking that like the 81 year old matriarch. Rita Moreno was a dying beast in this. God, I fucking, I don't know if we said it, but I loved how they acted like she was there the whole time. You did.
Starting point is 01:04:22 You did. It just blew my mind. I was like, we knew from my friend, I was like, this is her whole time. You did. It just blew my mind. When I was with my friend, I was like, this is her first time in the series. And she was like, really? And I was like, we've never seen her before. I like when Mia's like, quiet, quiet, let Abuelita speak.
Starting point is 01:04:35 And then it's like, oh, right, they're Latino? Maybe. But their name is Toretto. So they're half Italian, half Spanish. And then it's like, what is John Cena then? Because Mia does look ethnically ambiguous enough that you can believe almost anything of her Cena's got corn
Starting point is 01:04:51 his family ate a lot of corn I will say this I think they put bronzer on him that's an old wrestling trick oh is it? well I mean those guys were always like how tan were wrestlers for like you know what? Yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 01:05:10 I always thought it was crazy growing up that Hulk Hogan was like the color of a hot dog. That is so funny. And then someone revealed that he's like a white man. And you're like, oh, yeah, but his skin. Because I'm a white man, too, but my skin gets pretty dark. Because I get out in the sun. Yeah, you're pretty dark around the neck. I get out in the sun. You get a little sun.
Starting point is 01:05:23 Just a little sun. The half Italian starts popping when I get in the sun. The get a little sun, just a little sun. The half Italian starts popping when I get in the sun. The Toretto. Toretto's Italian, right? It sounds Italian, but who knows?
Starting point is 01:05:30 I don't want to, who am I? All you need is a white, who are we to decide what ethnicity these people are? I was going, Toretto is Italian,
Starting point is 01:05:37 he's not a fucking Latino guy. Trust me. Yeah, I like that they're ethnically ambiguous. I think it's fun. And i do love that little b is darker than both of his parents because uh what's her name elena is a like a white brazilian yeah and then dom is pretty light and little b oh baby little b's pretty dark i know well it's confusing
Starting point is 01:06:00 because dom's got the filter on the whole time. Yeah. So you don't know what filter he's using. Lil B looks more like Letty's child. Yes. That's why early on in the movie when he hugs her and says, like, thanks, Mom. And she has like a weird reaction. I was like, oh, right. Yeah, you're like, that's not his mom. He looks the most like Letty. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:18 And Michelle Rodriguez is the only one who doesn't have stolen Latino valor in this movie. She is at least. She is. She's Rodriguez. Yeah, exactly. I will say, according to this website that I'm looking at, it is most common in Brazil as a last name. Oh, Toretto?
Starting point is 01:06:36 Yeah. Oh, maybe that's why we keep returning to Rio de Janeiro. Because he's Brazilian? Because he's Brazilian? Yeah, that would make sense. Okay. Corona makes less sense at that point. Like, whatever.
Starting point is 01:06:47 Corona's an L.A. thing. We can give him an L.A. thing. Yeah, it's an East L.A. thing. I like that, Anya. It's like, according to this website, I'm on Pornhub. Pornhub.com. This website made it seem like she didn't want to tell us what it was. The way this website, Tucker Carlson's homepage.
Starting point is 01:07:05 I was like, I wouldn't cite it as a source. It says forebears.io. Like, I don't know what that is. Forebears.io. I know exactly what that is. Forehub.com. Yeah, me, Mish, and Gemberling were in that video. Do you want to read this review?
Starting point is 01:07:20 Sure. We're not done yet. You put your hat on. You trying to leave? Yeah, I'm trying to get the fuck out of here. No, I just realized my hat was just next to me this whole time. I binged. Oh, this is from Orange Freshie.
Starting point is 01:07:29 More, please. I binged through the entire podcast during the pandemic and forgot to check back when they started Marvel movies. Recently caught up, caught back up and TBH, to be honest. I forgot how much I love this podcast. It's so good. The guests are so good. I love the movies and I love how much Lauren and this podcast. It's so good. The guests are so good. I love the movies and I love how much Lauren and Nicole love
Starting point is 01:07:47 and or hate the movies. The first person ever who lets Lauren and Nicole have their own opinion in the reviews. I love that. Most people are like, I hate that they hate it or I hate that they love it. I'm two movies into this current season and I'm already sad I'm going to run out in like 20 more hours.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Please keep doing this. Suggestion for new topics. Post-apocalyptic young adult franchises. Hunger Games, Divergent, etc. Godzilla, James Bond, pretty solid, Recco, Batman. Ding, ding! We're gonna do it!
Starting point is 01:08:19 Wait, what? We're gonna do Batman! Oh shit, you guys gotta have me back on. I'm going to call which Batman movie. I mean, fucking, of course. Of course. I've only seen one Batman movie. Oh, that's awesome. And it's the latest one.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Oh, with Rob Pattinson. I loved it. I'm very excited for you to watch the Tim Burton Batmans, the first two. I think you're going to fucking love that. Is that with Jim Carrey? Is he in that? No, the first one is with Jack Nicholson As the Joker
Starting point is 01:08:46 And the second one is with Danny DeVito As the Penguin Oh okay And also Have me on for two Cause that's Catwoman And I can get V Horny Talking about Michelle Pfeiffer
Starting point is 01:08:57 I've seen the costume The costume And I've seen her with the whip It's very hot She's very good Yeah it's The movie is fucking awesome They're both And they're both really Cause Burton's such a fucking wild director And like I've seen her with the whip. It's very hot. She's very good. Yeah. The movie is fucking awesome.
Starting point is 01:09:05 They're both. Okay. And they're both really, because Burton's such a fucking wild director. And like, it was before there was like a style to, you know, superhero movies. Yeah. So it's like, I'm very, there's a lot of great movies in the oeuvre for you to watch. Okay. Because Batman Forever's got nipples on the Batman suit. Nipples?
Starting point is 01:09:24 Val Kilmer. You got Val Kilmer. You got Val Kilmer. You get so many different Batmans. You get Keaton, Kilmer, George Clooney. George Clooney's a Batman? Yeah, Christian Bale is a Batman, and fucking Rob Pattinson's a Batman. You get a lot of Batman.
Starting point is 01:09:37 I know Christian Bale was a Batman. He's in the three Christopher Nolan ones, the gritty ones, which I think you might like too but you're definitely gonna love the OG crazy like 80s Batmans
Starting point is 01:09:48 they're so fun and goofy okay because I used to watch the TV show as a kid the old school one like Adam West
Starting point is 01:09:55 yeah that shit is fucking awesome yeah that was fun you guys will probably touch on that I'm assuming probably
Starting point is 01:10:01 I don't know I haven't seen it in years there is a movie version of that Batman series. Really? Yeah, it's really fun. Famously, I saw it when I was a kid for the first time, and the thing that
Starting point is 01:10:10 made me laugh the most is, Batman is hanging off the batcopter over the ocean. A shark jumps up and bites his leg and is holding his whole leg. He punches it twice, can't get it off. Screams up to Robin, who's flying the batcopter, and says, throw me the shark repellent.
Starting point is 01:10:27 He opens a glove box, and there's four cans in there. And it's like squid repellent, piranha repellent. He's like, ah, grass shark repellent. Drops it. Batman sprays the shark, and the shark falls off. That's very funny. Get hyped. That's very, very funny.
Starting point is 01:10:41 Yeah, they knew what they were doing with that series. They get a little, they get very cheeky. Correct me, the shark repellent. Okay. There's multiple repellents. Yeah, they knew what they were doing with that series. They get a little, they get very cheeky. Correct me if it's a shark repellent. Okay. There's multiple repellents. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:10:49 Dink. That's funny. You guys are going to have some fucking fun, man. I'm stoked for you. Okay, I was dreading it. Yeah. I think Batman, I think Bond would have been a fun one, too, because they get pretty horny and a lot of hunky and good-looking people in those.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Daniel Craig is a Bond? Daniel Craig is a Bond, but so is Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Dalton. I don't know anybody. It gets older and British as you go back. Even actors that don't have much of other careers outside of Bond.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Oh, I see. I'm stoked for you with Batman. I'm stoked for the listeners to listen to you guys after watching Batman. That's going to be fun to listen to you guys after watching Batman. That's going to be fun. Well, first episode drops August 15th. Oh, that's so soon. I got to start watching.
Starting point is 01:11:31 So subscribe to this feed and look out for new newcomers coming your way. Gabrus, do you have anything you want to plug? Of course. If you like hearing me talk about movies, I talk about movies every week on my podcast, The Action Boys. Now, it's a Patreon podcast, so it's behind a paywall, but we got some free episodes out there, and they are guaranteed to be
Starting point is 01:11:49 longer than the runtime of the movies, which is not a positive, necessarily. But on a Patreon, it's more minutes per dollar, at least. And again, I know that's not necessarily for everyone. The show is impenetrable. Enjoy. And High and Mighty.
Starting point is 01:12:05 Oh, and High and Mighty, another HeadGum podcast. Yeah, I'm on there. Bayer's been on there. All the guests, everyone that you love from HeadGum has been on that. And 101 Places to Party Before You Die, now on something called Max. Max. Please check out Max. Y'all are so on Max now.
Starting point is 01:12:24 My son Max is now an app you can watch on TV. It's so weird. Max! Y'all are showing Max now. My son Max is now an app you can watch on TV. It's so weird. It's so fucking weird. I was saying earlier, I was like, why didn't they just name it Warner Brothers? It's a huge name. It makes no sense. There's a literal studio called Warner Brothers.
Starting point is 01:12:42 There's not a Max studio. When we got HBO Max, everyone's like, Max? Just call it HBO. Just call it HBO. People are like, got it. Get rid of the HBO. And you're like, what? But I was like, why did we get HBO? Why didn't we get a Warner Brothers streaming service? Or just a fucking full new name and it's like Ted and you just watch Ted. Honestly, again, I'm
Starting point is 01:13:00 repeating myself. I said earlier, here's what we should have done. We need to get in a time machine and stop netflix so all of the networks should have banded together to form their own streamer where they all license to each other and not to netflix yes and i don't understand why they didn't do that why do we have all of these different fucking stream why do i have cable again and i just can't find anything. I gotta Google, where does this show air?
Starting point is 01:13:27 And then I go, oh, that's the one service I don't have. Now I gotta add Paramount+. AMC+. Why does AMC have a streaming platform? I was talking to Tiffany about this, and I was thinking it might be cheaper for me to get rid of everything
Starting point is 01:13:43 and just buy shows a la carte. Not even cable. Just be like, oh, this is the, I want to watch Abbott Elementary. It's like, buy the season pass. I mean, that way you own it. Like, everything else is being like ripped off platforms and shit. And then I think it would be interesting because I would find out is the residual structure of purchases better for creators because then that might be the thing that helps.
Starting point is 01:14:03 But then the only places you can really buy seasons through is like Apple. So they're going to take a slice and then Apple's going to make loot. Yeah, it's complicated. It's wild. Well, hey, it's bleak here, folks. But you know where it's not bleak? In the Fast Universe. We love
Starting point is 01:14:19 the Fast and the Furious. That's where I find my sunshine. That's it for us. Bye-bye. Bye. Thank you. so that was a HeadGum Original.

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