Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - F9 (w/ Lauren Lapkus)
Episode Date: September 28, 2021Lauren Lapkus is back to help Nicole and Gabrus finish out the season with the last film in the Fast & Furious Franchise—F9 (2021). Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podca...sts and let us know what franchise they should check out next. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
The world has a way of changing.
And we change too.
There are moments that separate us.
But we always come back together.
We heard y'all needed a little love out here.
Y'all ever thought about the wild missions we've been on?
We've taken out planes, trains, tanks.
I'm not going to even think about the submarine.
And now we got cars flying in the air.
Who is he Jacob is Dom's brother there's a long time Dom little brother you always say never turn your back on family
but you turned your back on me.
Now your little family is in my world.
Whatever's on you
is on us.
He's got his own private army.
We need help.
No way.
So how do y'all want to play this?
Fast.
Okay, this is a bad time to mention this, but I don't drive.
Brother against brother.
This should be interesting.
But could you kill him?
I spent my entire life in your shadow.
And now...
You spend the rest of yours...
Living in mine.
We on the loose.
Not today.
We on the loose.
Really, Gugtape?
You acting like we on our way to Home Depot.
Hunter!
No, Tate!
I don't wanna die! Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
It's the last and final episode of our fourth season. Thank fucking God.
We worked our way through the Fast and the Furious franchise.
So we covered all nine movies along with Hobbs and Shaw,
which, you know, people on Twitter were like,
You said you liked it during how did
this get made and then you didn't like it.
People can change opinions.
I also said it felt different in the theater.
Anywho.
Also, I would like to speak to this whole thing, too.
Who cares if someone changes their mind?
Why does that matter?
It's not like she flipped and she's now like pro-abortion.
She's just saying like my opinion of this.
She flipped and she's now pro-abortion?
I mean, I am kind of pro-abortion.
Kill them, kill them all.
I'm sure I'll get a tweet about that.
So we're discussing the 10th film in the franchise,
which is funny that it's a 10th film
because it's called F9.
F9 is available for
a fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu. There's going to be spoilers, baby.
Now I'm guest hosting this season of Newcomers, and this is my last one here.
It is.
Our mutual friend, Lauren Lapkus, had some sort of side gig or whatever she's referring to.
We don't really know what's going on.
We didn't ask this little project.
I just have to bang out this little project.
I don't know what she means by that,
but it was lovely to have you,
but I'm so excited for my guests today or our guests.
You're still here.
She's your guest.
I'm not,
I am not pretending to host this shit anymore.
Ooh,
baby.
We got Lauren.
Hi.
Oh, I'm not even pretending to host this shit anymore. Ooh, baby, we got Lauren Lopkin. Hi.
Oh, you might recognize Lauren from Orange is the New Black or Wrong Missy, Jurassic World.
Or this podcast.
And I was really going to interrupt you, Gabrus,
and just like host it,
because it just doesn't feel right for me to sit here
while I know what Nicole is looking at on that Google Doc.
I know how to do this,
but I'm thrilled to be here.
And I,
you know,
I'm also real.
I have to say right off the bat,
super thrilled that you guys took this one for me.
I didn't have to do this whole fucking franchise.
Watching this one.
You weren't like,
fuck,
I wish I watched the nine.
There is no part of me that wishes that,
but we were mentioning before that like it's like
basically newcomers has flipped because you and nicole both know these movies and love them and
i have never seen any of them and i don't think i like what's going on lauren i discovered on the
second episode i have not seen all of the movies wow i thought i had so was the second one you
hadn't seen it a second in I said I've never laid
eyes on this movie before in my whole life.
But see I don't know how you'd be able to tell because I feel
like they must all kind of blend together.
Yes. In 20 years
if you've watched like two
Fast and the Furious movies you might think you've seen
all 10. It's been 20
years of this. Yeah you can't see it
in their faces.
Everyone look pretty old in this one. This years of this? Yeah, you can't see it in their faces? Everyone looked
pretty old in this one. This
plot line, and I have
so many questions because plot line
is such a, I shouldn't even say that.
Wait, Lauren, have you seen any Fast
and Furious movies? No. No, not one.
All I know is that there's cars
and
that's it. And I thought
Vin Diesel was Pitbull for like 40 minutes
you thought he was playing pitbull or the actor
what was your issue with the plot because i gotta say after f8 and Hobbs and Shaw, I loved this movie.
I thought it was incredible.
It is sort of like it's benefiting
from having just watched 8 and Hobbs and Shaw,
which I think are two of the late weak links
in the franchise.
And this one, and again,
I'm coming in with my own kind of emotional baggage.
This was the first movie I saw post pandemic,
like with a large crowd too.
And I was looking forward to it and it was postponed.
So it was like one of these things where you just like,
and it gave me everything I wanted.
And I don't think what I want is necessarily considered good cinematic
taste.
Totally.
And that's fine.
I totally,
I'm down with that.
But wait,
did you rent out a theater or did you go with like strangers?
I went with like a group of vaccinated people and sat in a section
but it was at IMAX and like
as a matter of fact this was a really
funny instance the movie
stopped like 8 minutes in
and they were like we're so
sorry we just have to like read and
blah blah and we were like someone just screams
start it over
and they were like people were like and just screams start it over and they were
like when people were like and it was only eight minutes and then people they were like oh well we
could just pick up oh do you want me to start this is amc employee and everyone starts chanting
start it over and then everyone starts chanting more dom more dom more dom and we're all so worked
up it feels like so many people are at the movies for the first time.
Yeah.
Then the movie starts over, and we've all just watched the first eight minutes.
So for eight minutes, it's fully the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Where people are like, pass me the five and one-eighths wrench, six-inch extender.
Everyone's cheering at all the dumb shit we just watched.
It was such an energy shift.
I'm so jealous.
That sounds really fun.
That's how I wanted to watch it.
I watched it on my couch being like,
I should be in a theater right now.
Yeah, I was like in bed watching my iPad being like,
what?
My project that I've been doing is really exhausting.
It's a project I've never done before
and may never do,
so I can only imagine So I can only imagine.
I can only imagine.
It's very hard.
So I watched this in like 15 to 20 minute chunks.
And then I watched like an hour of it straight.
15 to 20 minute chunks each day would take you still a month to watch.
Truly.
It is two hours and 22 minutes.
When I saw that,
I got mad because I was like,
no, I have not
been doing newcomers. This is my break.
Every movie we've ever watched is five hours
long. I thought for sure
this would be like 80 minutes because what could
really happen? No.
They just get longer and longer.
Well, they give
and this is what I like about this movie,
which is also arguably its downfall.
It's now like as big as the Avengers,
like their group of people is like 25 people and they really let everyone have moments,
which you don't necessarily need to do in a movie like this.
They let people have moments twice.
We saw a flashback,
then we see Dom looking at the flashback
while it reflashes back.
This is the first one.
We didn't need that.
I was saying, right?
This is the first one that features abstract filmmaking.
Like there is like tone poems starring Vin Diesel where he's like in his own memories and hallucinating.
And you're like, this movie is insane.
But I will tell you, as someone who's just coming in and just watching the end of this series well there maybe there'll be more i don't know but nothing is off the table
i just was like what are their jobs what are they doing
who's after them are they after someone else I've seen them all and these are all questions
I still have.
But by the third
20 minute increment,
weren't you like,
who cares what their job is?
I certainly knew
it didn't matter
very quickly
what their job was.
They just had to shoot people
or drive the car
or fly to outer space.
That was nuts.
I was like,
this script says,
meanwhile,
in outer space.
Even the way the subtitles were, like the captions came up was like unique.
I thought it was interesting.
It kind of like floated around the screen.
I was like, what is this choice?
I'm so curious.
There were a lot of choices Chibi had.
And honestly, I think they were all perfect.
This was a perfect movie for me.
A lot of big swings.
Like a lot of big swings like a lot of big choices
like yeah we have we a kid we open on like a child and i'm like it's like this is comical
so wait is it established that that like he had that child with a person who died
yes and then so letty dies. Who's that played by?
Letty is Michelle Rodriguez.
Who's alive in this movie, yes.
Wait, what?
So she dies.
So she's the mom?
But then she doesn't really die.
No, she's not the mom.
She's taking care of a woman who's dead's baby
who had an affair with Dom,
but it wasn't technically an affair
because she was technically dead.
Because they both thought Letty was dead.
But then Letty comes back to life.
And then in order to make Dom's character not a guy who has two girlfriends,
they just ice the baby mama in episode eight to kill her.
And that's his motivation to hate Cypher, who's Charlize Theron.
Oh, and by the way, that haircut, what a choice.
She's in a different movie.
Lauren, she had dreads in the last one.
No.
Yes.
Yes.
Honestly, they were like, we can't give her dreads again.
It's like, we need something dumber.
What's dumber than a white person with dreads?
It's like, I don't know, the most beautiful woman in the world with a fucking bowl cut.
When I saw it, though, I was like, what the fuck?
Then I looked up, is this in the future?
But then it's not.
I was like, what the fuck?
Then I looked up, is this in the future?
But then it's not.
It is in a technological world that doesn't exist.
She's like standing in a box and he's like, okay, woman in a box or whatever.
Like, I don't even know what is going on. Well, have you ever seen You?
You on Netflix?
Yeah.
Joe keeps ladies in boxes and I thought maybe it was an ode to that.
Yeah, I think it was an ode to you.
You're going to ode to a random Netflix show?
Also, I loved when Charlize Theron said, the Toretto bloodline is messy.
And I was like, okay, I love that that's how we're going to justify a racially ambiguous man and a white man being brothers.
No, it hit.
And the follow-up line is arguably racist.
Wait, what did she say?
She's like, I knew it was multi-ethnic,
but I didn't realize he had any Norse bloodline.
It's like, now what?
You're guessing that he's like Sweden?
So Vin Diesel, whose dad we see in this movie for the first time,
and his dad doesn't seem like his dad is
like it's so it's good it's good casting it keeps you guessing but it's really funny that she
she's like you have the nordic bloodline it's like how the fuck do you know that about his
because he has a butt chin it was very very strange but then as i watched it i was like wait
maybe he could be related to them he and joanna what's her name bruce
they have the same mouth mia yeah they have like mia and uh jacob also it's jacob with a k and i
was like that's also a choice it's just a lot of choices in this movie that were made so you think
john cena and what's her name look alike i think they have the same mouth. Jordana Brewster.
Yeah.
It is funny to imagine like when she's in the movie at the end,
in the movie later on.
And she's like,
Dom.
And it's like,
oh,
right.
That's also their sibling.
It's so weird.
I did not catch all of that.
Yeah.
So Dom,
Mia and John Cena,
Jacob,
they're,
they're brother and sister
they're siblings
picture Charlize Theron
she has to fly away from her kids
for a day or whatever and she's like
I gotta go shoot F9 I'm playing Cypher
again
she's in hair and makeup
and she gets her little bowl cut
put on her head
and she's like okay
and she gets paid like 5 billion dollars and she gets her little bowl cut put on her head and she's like, okay. And I was just thinking she gets paid like $5 billion
when she flies home.
It's just like the easiest, weirdest job I've ever heard of.
She probably is on set for three weeks,
works for two hours twice.
She's not on set for three weeks.
She's on set for one day.
I feel like they had one day.
There was two locations.
There was a box and then there was like a room
and that room was next to the box.
She was not shot like outside
in the tundra at all.
In Fast 8
she has, you talk about like her saying
to her kids, I gotta go play Cypher.
In Fast 8 she like makes out
with Dom, with Vin Diesel.
I got all her look in that one.
Yeah, you gotta check out the dreads.
She also, she stays on a plane in that one, too.
I think they, yeah, they shoot her out.
They're like, we're lucky to have her.
Oh, these dreads.
Are wild, right?
Wow.
They're truly a treat.
I love them.
Oh, my God.
Charlize doesn't want to find herself
in a 14-person scene,
like, waiting for all of those egos
to get out of the trailer and shit yeah no thank
you i gotta say young jacob and young dom oh baby they are really hot young dom is particularly
attractive yes i love the raspy voice yeah oh, yeah. That guy was good looking. So hot.
Wait, Lapkus.
Also, I don't know if you know this, but this is the first movie where this is the ninth,
the 10th movie in the series.
It's the first time that Jacob, a brother, is mentioned.
Yeah.
That's insane.
He's never mentioned that one time.
It also really bothers me that it's called F9, but it's the 10th.
It's just annoying.
really bothers me that it's called F9 but it's the 10th. It's just annoying.
I think it's because Hobbs
and Shaw and the Fast Saga
had such a hard break because
Vin doesn't want
that to muddy the waters of his master.
Hobbs and Shaw is not considered canon with
F-F-whatever. It is canon
in the world. It's a Fast and Furious
story. It's like a solo
or Rogue One... Thank you.
I need to put in Star Wars terms so I can understand it.
You fucking Star Wars dorks.
Okay, let's get into fucking the Toretto Gazetto.
So Justin Lin revealed Han, but it was so...
I haven't heard all your fun little things.
Oh, yeah.
It's fun.
The Toretto Gazetto.
Justin Lin reveals Han would have stayed dead
if it wasn't for Deckard Shaw appearing at Dom's barbecue.
In an F9 featurette,
Lin revealed that Han would still be dead
if it hadn't been for a fan outrage
over Deckard Shaw appearing at Dom's family barbecue
in The Fate of the Furious. To everyone's knowledge, at that point, Shaw had killed Han. Lin, who had no
involvement in the film, said after discovering this whole Justice for Han movement, I even sat
and talked to the studio and said, what happened? Nobody could give me an answer. I felt like it was
something that needed to be addressed. If they could actually, if they didn't actually handle
it correctly, then Han would probably have stayed dead. It's kind of poetic now that i'm back i get to bring
han back and we get to have more adventures lynn added kang first played han in lynn's 2002
directorial debut better luck tomorrow before lynn went to direct tokyo drip fast and furious
past five and fast and furious six and f9 oh yeah he really did direct the best ones yeah
seven is good i like seven a lot too but he did direct direct the best ones. Yeah, Seven is good. I like Seven a lot too,
but he did direct all the fun ones.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
I fucking, I mean,
I'm very glad that he brought Han back because Han is so fun,
but I will say Han was not that fun in F9.
It was just nice to see him.
He's not utilized.
Shout out to my friend, Jason Concepcion,
who tweeted,
they bring Han back and just have him eating snacks.
It's like, it's so true. But that's the power of this movie that it's like fuck it this guy and i know i use the word retcon
a lot but this is like the third time that han han died in fast and the furious three
so the asian guy always shows up in this movie with a sniper rifle died in three then they retroactively make the movies five six
and seven take place before three so that he could die star wars yes exactly and his name is han
and then he dies again like he finally like now he's actually dead timeline wise and then it's
like but actually mr nobody pulled him out of the wreckage which is so crazy i can't
believe they bring people back so much that's so ridiculous there's a point in this that i was
going to ask you about maybe i should just wait till the plot point but like where that huge like
army tank or something like falls on tyrese i think it is yeah and then like i was like well
he died because it felt like dunk like i mean i thought for sure it was a joke, I was like, well, he died because it felt like dunk. I mean, I thought for sure it was a joke.
Like, I was like, this is funny.
Like, there's something funny happening here.
Because the way the car felt was so, like, comical.
And then he gets out and, like, just walks out.
And I'm like, how are you alive?
And I was like, so did he almost die, like, ten times?
Did he die before?
Like, is there, like, a history with him dying?
No, he's the one character who hasn't.
So there's no point to that
the point to that is i think that he just had the craziest run in that his car wasn't fast
enough for the landmines they were hitting him he fell down that thing he died and so it's supposed
to be funny it's supposed to be it's supposed to be funny it didn't hit for me this time around
but in the theaters his like meta calling out of
everything of like no for real how the fuck are we alive that was so thrilling but i found it on
this rewatch to be like yeah we know the movie's fucking i like shut up yeah i i guess it was
because it was my first watch i was like how are they still alive i like i think it i think it's
the funniest tyrese has been in in any of the movies
like i think he's got the strongest comedy in this movie which i know is a shot on all the other
movies but i i liked him in this and it was and it was a lot of fun to call out that they're
practically superheroes which i thought was like but it was weird that it was like you think that's
setting up tyrese actually getting hurt at some point like it would make this movie would hit so much harder if he got a gut shot at some point I thought for sure something
had happened before with him where this was like a nod to that so that's really like sort of
disappointing that that's not true and then like I mean I want to talk about the whole thing because
there's just so many things I'll just let you I'll let you go okay so we should take a quick yeah wait gabrus you do it
you you do it i'm exhausted before we go any further do you think we could take a quick break
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description and we're back so f9 was written by daniel casey and justin lynn directed by justin
lynn released june 25th 2021 baby uh so let's get into this fucking plot. It is a lot. A lot of shit happens in this movie.
Yeah.
There's multiple timelines.
There's a dozen locations.
The characters all split up at one point.
And also there's flashbacks.
So there's like 11 scenes that you're following more or less,
which is just like, who cares?
It's way too much for me.
It's a lot.
Yeah, it's way too much for me.
And I'm a diehard fan.
Yeah.
So we start in the year 1989.
Dom and Mia's father, Jack, prepares, and fucking Jacob,
participates in a race.
His sons are working in the pit crew.
Dom argues with his rival, Kenny Linder, about his tactics.
During the race, Linder's car flips Jack's bumper,
which causes his car to hit a wall and explode in midair.
That explosion is wild.
I screamed.
I was like, wow.
It was nuts.
They were saying, this motherfucker is not alive anymore.
Gone.
Goodbye.
Went to heaven immediately.
Until Fast 10, when his dad, like, you know,
someone steps out playing his dad.
And holding a gun to his head, being like,
Dom, you gotta save your dad.
And he's like, no, my family!
So he dies in that accident.
And then after the race, Dom is arrested
for beating Linder to death with a wrench,
which has been hinted at since the first movie.
That's what makes him a at since the first movie that's what is makes him a
criminal in the first movie he's out of jail after attempted manslaughter with a monkey wrench so but
this is the 80s still yes but that yeah yeah we know that this event happened but we don't know
it was because because i killed his dad like this is a a lot of things have happened in the last few
movies that just make dominic teretto less shitty like you know he's like oh the baby mom is dead so now i'm just like i'm not fucking
around twice i'm just like a few things have happened that just were like he's better he's
a better dude now than ever before including the guy killed was killed his dad so he's not an
asshole i'm like so unfamiliar with vin diesel which feels impossible but i just am which truly
i didn't realize who he was for so long while I was watching this.
And then I was like, oh, he's like Bruce Willis.
Like he's like hardcore action guy.
And he's gotten more hardcore action as the movies have gone along.
He did barely any fighting in the first one.
Yeah.
And in some of his other movies, Vin is in some interesting roles, doing some interesting things like real acting.
But once I think he settled into Dom Toretto, he was like once fast five, like once he comes back for four and five, you're like, fuck, this is this dude's like, this is where my bread is buttered.
I'm now an EP on these movies.
Like I'm a god on set.
Like, you know, he's printing fucking money.
Also, I'll say this i did ask sienna about working with vin diesel and he was like vin diesel is amazing he was like he is a like he's
a professional he's like funny he's great he was like i had a blast and i was like i want to i want
to come i want to play yeah oh my god i'm available 12 i want to be in fast 12 please put me in well okay
while serving his time dom recalls that jacob had worked on their father's car the day that he died
uh also while he was in jail he meets those two guys they set up leo and santos how he met the
two guys but like and then don't use them again i was like oh okay oh i i guess it's just like a
connecting thing for like for me to know oh i think the guys don't want to again i was like oh okay oh i i guess it's just like a connecting thing for like
for me to know oh i think the guys don't want to be in the movies anymore because they're like
musicians i think they don't care are they yeah i think because i think that's how they're in the
first movie that they're in for they're like got a song on the soundtrack or one of them does i'm
so i could be so wrong i can't wait to read the tweets, but they'll tweet at you. Oh, they're going to do it anyway.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm out of here.
But because later on at the barbecue,
not later on at the end of the movie,
at the barbecue,
one of them,
Leo,
only one is there.
So the other dude is clearly like,
I don't need to be in.
He's like,
fuck this.
I would give anything.
I would give my left tit to be in a fast and the furious movie.
Hell yeah.
After Dom gets out of jail, he confronts Jacob, insinuating that he killed their father.
Dom then challenges Jacob to a race.
And then Jacob is forced to leave town after losing.
And I loved how he lost.
He was like, no!
Have you guys talked about how they shoot all these exploding cars and stuff?
Like, how does that happen?
I was watching just like, how much of this is practical effects it's so crazy a lot of it is
practical a lot of it is more practical now for sure because what was it it was the second one
people were mad that there was cgi so then it backed off whatever but like yeah four is like
practical shit and it four is really fucking good i I liked four. And also five is great.
Four, five, six, seven, and nine.
I think you liked them all.
Well, one is my absolute favorite.
It's a cute little indie.
Okay.
I like to say, we just got to say to anyone who's never watched all the movies that you
watch this movie that features them in space and dying and coming back to life.
The first movie movie they're stealing
that's the premise of the first movie oh i like that more for sure yes oh i mean lauren i think
you might actually like the first movie okay have you ever seen point break no oh that's also a good
movie by the way we're describing like every conversation i have with
both of you guys i know that movie it's by this director the director who did this famous movie
never saw it that's why newcomers can go on for years and years we've never seen anything that
is normal until finally it's like well we're gonna do newcomers dr pimple popper and latice
is like i've actually watched 10 000 hours i haven't seen it all sorry no i had to stop watching that show it makes me sick it makes me sick too i watch it so crazy
but it's gross it's so gross and it's not even pimples i can complain about that forever but
anyway okay so they're in the present two years after the confrontation against cyber terrorist cypher
dom and letty live a low-key life with their son brian on a farm and then roman and tige come with
ramsay ramsay's useless in this movie they arrive and truly she gets a driving scene i'll give her
that she does she does get a driving scene but i love that dom and letty were like you expecting someone and he's like no
brian get down and then they like fucking cock their guns at their friends and i was like kid
the kid they go brian do what we told you and it crawls into a hatch yeah
so they arrive with the news that mr nobody's plane was attacked by rogue agents and crashed
in central america i'm like why are they getting these messages?
Dom agrees to help them after realizing Jacob's involved.
He was like reluctant at first.
But I want to talk about this moment because he they've watched the footage, including Tej and Ramsey, who are like computer geek freaks.
But then Vin is watching it by himself and like pauses it
and catches the necklace and it's like okay jacob why are you wearing that necklace on the mission
why is it not in your shirt vin how are you able to stop and enhance this video like on your
fucking cabin like fuck this dude it's so rare and it's like what an insane clue to be like oh that necklace
maybe it's my brother that i've never the guy who says family 10 times every movie maybe it's
i've never brought up that i'm a bad brother it is so wild that he's so into family but doesn't
tell us that jacob is a person in his life it's crazy okay so and they all knew and and we see in the flashback we'll
get to it but we see in the flashback that they're all friends back then we see young vince we see
young mia we see young everybody and that means they all knew jacob too and he doesn't they don't
talk about him at all and nobody ever fucking talks about me is never like hey don maybe you
forgive our brother one of these days I think he's a super spy
the idea that they would be aware
of that and put that in the script to make
that make sense while also being like
you only ate Tootsie Rolls in space
you can't have it both
ways
so they find a part of a device
called Ares while they're
searching for a plane they're always looking for some
insane thing starting Starting in 5,
starting in 5, it's just like
a piece of digital equipment that
will destroy the world. No reason
to explain. This one is
truly like a video game.
It's like, if they connect the two pieces,
we all die. It's like, what
is this? And it looks like
a soccer ball. Like half of a soccer ball.
It looks like a dog toy. Like I have one that you put a treat in and it rolls around. Oh ball like half of a soccer ball it looks like a dog toy like i
have one that like you put like a treat in and it rolls around oh yeah it should look like that
uh they realize they can hack into any computer controlled system the team is then ambushed by
a private army led by jacob jacob then steals the device mia arrives to help and dom is reluctant
to allow her to join because she left this all behind with brian and it's so wild that me
is like my brother's involved and he's like okay but i'm like but brian why brian allegedly is
still living so warren okay brian is paul walker he is dead in real life but it's still alive in
the movie oh my god wait that makes no sense because they kill people off so much in these movies. Yes. I know.
And I think that I kind of dig that and then
what did you... We'll just jump
to it now. How'd you like at the end when they're like
well where is Brian? And then they hear
like the Impreza
come up or whatever he drives. The little
blue little cars. See I didn't get that because I didn't
know that his name was Brian. Yes.
His name is Brian because
Dom also names his son his child
brian and every time he says brian he says it in a way where he's like being reverent to paul walker
he's like what did i say little brian he never says it normally no it really was weird but i
didn't get why but he imitates life he named his kid paula but is it oh wait in real life he did in real
life vintage daughter is named for paul that's really nice um but i don't but i don't get why
they would have him be alive and he names him after it's just that's just like supposed to be
the plot is that he just named after because he he likes his friend so much. Yeah, it's like my best friend might as well name my kid after him.
So then the team
learns Han is connected to Ares
in the most roundabout way, so Letty
and Mia go to Tokyo to investigate.
Wait, I want to talk
about two quick things. First off, that
set piece with the driving through Central America,
we get a Jeep
driving vertical up a bridge.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, oh yeah i can't believe i forgot
about that and then also vin and mia uh vin and uh letty first of all letty going 70 miles an
hour in a dirt bike with no helmet when it's like if i'm dom i'm like babe get in the car
get a helmet let's die together at least well she's got to show off her mom bob yeah i was like why did her
hair what is this i like when they're like where's the bridge and he's like i know exactly what to do
i'll drive at the wire it'll catch the wheel and i'll swing around like a huge pendulum and i gotta
say to michelle rodriguez's credit she actually looked terrified. She braced herself.
Her foot is on the dash.
I was like, is she safe?
Did we test this?
What's happening?
Her character is so intense.
Yeah.
And she loves Dom.
You pointed it out.
One of the things I like is when these cars are flying through the air or in space and are not really being being driven the people still have the wheel like they're struggling in a skin always like while dom's
soaring through the air he's like as if turning the wheel matters as you're with that is so funny
you're absolutely right yeah you're flying through the air the wheel's not gonna help you do anything
but yeah they like swing the car the point was
they needed to get out of the country because they could stop chasing them at the border or
something yeah who knows it really doesn't matter and they do a class they do a classic fast and
furious setup here where it's like that entire area is taken over by an isolationist army so
by saying that they don't have to attach it to an actual country so we don't
we're not killing you know honduran people or anything we're just killing in a crazy terrorist
army that lives in this country in central america it's like just it's smart it's like how cobra in
gi joe's all robots so that gi joe could just blow them away and it's not like i think they just
killed a bunch of people in this cartoon. Also, Jacob
flies off. So they're looking for the
bridge. Jacob is like, don't need a bridge.
And then has like a rocket on his car, flies
to the sky and lands on a plane. And I
laughed so hard. I couldn't believe it.
It's insane.
And the look that him and Dom
give each other, like they're just like
looking in the car.
Isn't it funny to you nicole that
you know john cena like isn't that does that make it funnier to watch it is insane i was like i was
just with this person like it's what an insane movie for him to be in yeah i'm like you're in
a huge blockbuster jumping from car to car and i just saw you standing going look at that person
fall down you know yeah i guess wipe out and f9 are on kind of opposite
ends of the spectrum of programming you know just a tad different uh where were we oh okay so
meanwhile jacob meets his associate and financier otto cypher tells jacob that the other half of
aries is in edinburgh and edenborough edinburgh uh don meets his father's
former mechanic buddy who took jacob in after his exile and learns that jacob is in london
that's so much half that was a short sentence i said or a couple sentences but so much happened
in that little paragraph so much dumb business where it's like okay we're working together
they're working together i'm going here you're I'm going here. You're going there.
But I'm like, who is Otto?
And what is Otto funding?
Like, what is Jacob doing?
How would you define the problem of this movie?
Like, what is happening?
So Otto is working with a disgraced secret agent
who is John Cena, who's Jacob,
a disgraced secret agent who is john cena who's jacob to get the aries and use it to threaten something and get money it seems like they're limitlessly rich but want more money or money
on it this is this is how the the series will end up eating its own tail is like trying to heighten
pat like we're running.
It's like almost going to have to be like a nuke dropped.
We need you to go in there and read like,
like there's not much more heightened.
We can get,
it's only going to get,
we went to space.
Yeah.
We went to space in this one.
Oh,
I had such a,
I had a dream last night that I was driving a car at the bottom of the
ocean,
like a airtight car,
like a scuba car.
And I was like,
this is going to be in Fast 10.
It's going to be in Fast 10 for sure.
It's going to have a water level like Mario 2.
Ooh, probably.
They're going to be like, have oxygen tanks
on the outside of their car racing around the ocean floor.
And then they'll have some NOS on the side.
Yeah.
I call it here.
Was there NOS in this movie?
Yes.
They use NOS in space.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We also get Jacob using Nas too early in their drag race.
Oh, yes, you're absolutely right.
Which is like Vin's big thing.
Thank you.
It's everyone uses Nas too early.
I'll beat him.
I also don't understand why his idea is to get out of jail and be like,
I have to get my brother out of this town.
Yeah, I don't know
well because his brother killed his daddy and that's his family his brother fucked up the family
so he's got to get the other family out to start a new family get rid of the real family start the
uh selected family and eventually roll the real family back yes i'm just like how why does Otto have Cypher now again that feels so weird that feels like just to keep
Cypher in the running of the yeah of the movies it she's the only one that knows how to get to
them or she like you know she's a hacker but it makes no sense because they're always like
we have limitless potential but we need Cypher in order to do this and it's like what does she do
yeah it's very confusing um and also i loved when dom went to go see buddy and was like where's
jacob and he's like i don't know where like he gives him a corona he doesn't have one sip he
doesn't cheers him he doesn't say thank you he just puts it down and walks out now i was mad
at dom in this scene because i'm like, why are you mad at Buddy?
He's like, you took Jacob in.
It's like, I think Jacob was like 14.
Like, let someone watch him for a year.
It's okay.
You were in jail, Vin.
Like, you can't get mad that this kid is gonna-
Yeah, that someone took care of this kid
while you were gone and your dad's dead.
A child, a literal child,
whose dad is dead and his brother is in jail.
I think his life is more fucked up than everyone's.
Have a little sympathy for your own brother, dude.
Okay, so in Tokyo, Letty and Mia find Han alive.
It's wild.
There's a fight.
There's a little girl.
I want to say the line that makes them realize
that Han is alive.
You know how Han always said the cowboys went to Mexico
whenever they need to escape the law.
And remember that.
And then she's like that.
Han said Tokyo was his Mexico cut to a Mexican point to a Mexican flag outside the restaurant.
And then they go in the restaurant.
It's like, what the fuck?
Like, it's so such a tenuous connection.
It's like it's it's a forced connection.
It's those third beats in a Herald.
We were like,
nah,
we don't know.
We don't need to connect this.
I feel like there were like 10 lines in this whole movie.
Like when I was watching it,
I was like,
I feel like it's just cars going really fast and exploding.
And then every once in a while,
there's like a conversation that I can't follow.
And then you don't have to follow.
I think this is like,
this makes sense why this movie,
it does international gangbusters. It's because it's like, you don't have to, you don't have to follow. I think this is like, this makes sense why this movie, it does international gangbusters.
It's because it's like,
you don't have to,
you don't have to put on like the subtitles of your language to watch.
I can watch this movie on mute with like hip hop music.
And you'll like,
I guess you make up your own little storyline.
That would be kind of cool.
We,
we,
we do meet Ellie.
Uh,
who's like Hans,
like,
uh,
family, his new family, but she's kind of bad-ass. We do meet Ellie, who's like Han's family.
Han's current family.
His new family. His new family.
But she's kind of badass.
I thought she did a good job in the movie.
I mean, when she takes that fucking machine gun later,
I was like, holy shit, she's cool.
This is a fun sequence, too, getting to see that they do a good job.
Of folding in Tokyo Drift for people who haven't seen Tokyo Drift to go, who are these people?
And then for a fan to go, it's in Tokyo Drift to drive money to Tokyo Drift.
Yeah, right.
They just keep making money on top of making money.
They know what they're fucking doing, man.
Boswell, Twinkie, and Earl Hu,
who are from Tokyo Drift,
who are building a rocket,
and you're like, what?
How?
Why is that their trajectory?
Yeah, and then they kind of slap it around later where they're like,
I was an astrophysicist.
I got you guys this job here.
So the guys who met in Tokyo
doing drag races in high school are now rocket scientists
in cologne germany i love it you love to see it and by the way when they were in high school like
based on the timelines of the movies they should only be like 24 right now you are absolutely right
oh my god because because three happens right before eight yeah
yeah after seven that's so funny do they like label them with years no that's the well that's
the other thing is like if they were like how if they showed dom's id what the fuck would they put
as his birth year they've been making movies about him for 20 years homie's gotta be 60 right
59 but they're not gonna say dom is 59 they're gonna say he's 48 or something like that i don't Making movies about him for 20 years. Homie's got to be 60, right? Like 59?
But they're not going to say Dom is 59.
They're going to say he's 48 or something like that.
I don't even know if they would say that.
I feel like they'd be like 32.
Yeah.
And he's 54 for real.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's older than I thought.
So, okay.
Dom meets with Queenie Shaw in London for a hot second and she gives him Jacob's location, drives him over
there. He then confronts
them. Otto has Dom
arrested. Dom's old friend
Cardi B rescues him and I gotta
say, Cardi B was pretty good.
Yeah, I thought so too.
I thought she held her own in the scene.
Yeah, I mean she was
toe-to-toe with one of the greats and
hung on
I want to talk about the Queenie thing
for a second because of that Instagram post
that you and I overanalyzed
I could feel the sex
I dude
through which one?
I felt sexual tension in their scene
oh Helen Mirren?
yes and Vin Diesel.
He gets close to her in a way that I was like,
In real life?
They fucked.
Oh yeah, baby.
We think they fucked in real life.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Something went down.
It's honestly,
Vin is hornier,
or Dom is hornier with Queenie
than he is with his own wife.
Yeah, these movies have like
such a lack of sexuality
and then Helen Mirren
brings the most
sex energy to the movie. She's a very
confident woman. Yeah.
She's 76 years old.
Isn't it crazy that Dom doesn't drive the car
for her? It is very
funny that she drives. All you do is drive, bro.
This is your thing. Do that.
Nah, I'll fucking
dick her down.
She can take me.
I don't get in movies how everyone is so confident in these movies.
They're like, well, I'll drive you there.
I know the cops are chasing us.
And I know you're on like a desperate mission to save the world.
And if you got arrested by these cops randomly in England,
they would fuck you over.
But we're not going to get in any trouble.
Do, do, do, do, do.
We'll be fine.
Yeah, it's's like what the fuck
um so tige roman and ramsey head to edinburgh is it edinburgh am i saying that right yeah
and they find the edinburgh edinburgh edinburgh edinburgh to the place of the e and find out that
jacob is using an electromagnet to steal the second Ari's device.
Teej and Roman locate a truck containing the electromagnet as they fight Otto's men.
One of my favorite jokes is in this moment.
So I just want to when Teej's necklace gets pulled off by the magnets like, you know, silver is not magnetic, bro.
It's very funny.
It's like these guys are billionaires in these movies
because they've been relentlessly
successful and to have a fake
chain and be able to bust each other's balls
about it, that's fucking great.
I love
how much you love it. It's so
low stakes in the middle of this insane
mission to be like, bro, your chain is fake.
It makes no sense. That's like everything to me
when I'm watching this. I'm like, everything like offset by something random like that which i guess is
that's the comedy of it but but but are they are the other movies comedies are they i mean it's
there's comedic elements this one i think is funnier than most yes i think if you guys yes
if you guys ever do newcomers marvel you'll notice this is
kind of like a weird modern four quadrant type of movie where it's like insane action zero sex
and then like quips from everybody and it's just like it's the it's the worst of all three worlds
except with the cool action is the only part i like i miss sex and comedians delivering
i miss sex too i because these movies could be sexy the fact that there's not one hot scene
is right yeah we do get a hot scene what is it when dom and letty are wearing all white
before he leaves her is that fast eight there's so like on a cliff yes i think that is fast i was like pretty
horny oh and the first one they get pretty horny they like make out in the auto shop and they're
like covered in grease there's a little greasy grinding going on yeah that works i like that
um so ramsey she's driving they chase after auto Otto. Dom intercepts Jacob, and they fight throughout the city
in the wildest way possible.
Can we talk about how fucking funny it is
when Dom's like, he's not in the streets,
and you look up, and John Cena's on the longest zip line.
With one arm holding on.
And if you know John Cena,
which we do at this point in the movie, he's enormous.
He's just like one arm shooting around the top of the city.
It looks so funny.
And then it cuts to Dom chasing him.
And Dom is in bootcut jeans and Tim's sprinting across rooftops.
I'm like, he's got eyes.
It's great.
It's great.
I like screamed.
I was like, this is it's great I like screamed I was like
this is it
this is
I love this so much
he tackles him
through a window
it'd be fun to write it
because you could just
write anything
it's kind of like
Tyler Perry
like just like
stream of consciousness
like then he's running
over there
then that guy's like
flying up there
and then the car
goes in space
and then the other car
is like falling off the thing
and then the guy
walks out like
he didn't die anyway like it's just like a little kid wrote is like falling off the thing and then the guy walks out like he
didn't die anyway like it's just like a little kid wrote it i feel like the writer's room is
lives by vin's mantra of nothing is off the table like it's just like yeah we'll go to space one guy
will zip line vin uh dom tackles jacob into the building it's wild they're punching through like concrete walls yeah it's they're throwing each
other fully through walls and i and no everyone's shaking the dust off getting back up again
i was like i don't this is it's wild um so then ramsey runs auto's car off the road and captures
jacob in and so they get to use magnets to make cars fly into things that they want I was like
now they're magneto and fucking x-men just like magnets work however they really need them to work
story-wise sometimes it pulls cars in front of them sometimes it pulls full cars into you like
it doesn't matter but it it's it feels shit. We can't just have them driving.
It's like, well, big fucking magnets.
We'll have cars flying all over.
Big fucking magnets.
And everyone's like, got it.
Print it.
Shoot it.
Let's roll.
And then Han, he's driving a brand new Toyota Supra, which is new to 2021.
Very nice car in orange.
He, like, tacks onto that truck.
And then they get the girl.
And then he, like, can't fight or whatever.
And I'm like,
why does Han get the shit kicked out of him?
Yeah.
Well,
Han and Roman get their ass kicked in fast six too.
Like Han has never really established as totally bad ass,
but he's more like slick.
I have connections.
I'm charming guy,
but I,
it's fun to watch.
I like when a character in this movie is like huge ensemble.
Everyone's doing insane shit.
And a dude just gets his ass kicked in the car.
I was just like, we bring Han back just to kick his ass.
Let's let's have him eating and fighting.
I don't know.
So I thought bad that they had Mia climbing on the fucking truck.
I'm like, this woman should be home with her family.
She should be home with her dead husband raising their two children.
Mothers can work too.
You're right.
Later in the safe house,
Han reveals Mr. Nobody assigned him
to protect Ellie. Is that her name? Elle?
Or Ellie? I think it's Ellie, yeah.
And Aris. When Jacob,
one of Mr. Nobody's agents, went rogue they used Deckard Shaw to fake Han's death to protect Ellie. I think it's Ellie. Yeah. And Aris, Aris, when Jacob, one of Mr. Nobody's agents went rogue,
they used Deckard Shaw to fake Han's death to protect Ellie,
which is the,
the wildest fucking pulling of strings to make something make sense.
Do you think they got still alive?
They think they got final draft open and they're like,
and then Mr.
Nobody uses Shaw. And they're like, and then Mr. Nobody uses Shaw.
And they're like, oh, my God.
Literally, we solved it.
It's perfectly neat.
And everyone's like, wait, I have one follow up question.
It's like, nope, no, no, no, no, no.
But also, we see Han get killed in front of Ellie.
He gets shot multiple times and is like, oh, yeah.
And I'm like, so he's dead but then
isn't dead and they don't explain that undeadness no no han is han is immortal it turns out han is
like an ancient water protector or something and then auto fucking comes in and jacob's like thank
you for telling me everything i needed see you later guys bye uh i love that it's like i intended for the magnet to suck my car into your truck and for you
to be able to get and he's like see this was all part of my plan that happens five times that ellie
is the key and i was like how does dom know because she is the key okay Okay. Jacob also tells Dom that their father attempted to throw the race because they were in debt
and asked Jacob to tamper his car.
So his dad asked his son to murder him, essentially.
They try to set this up where they're like...
So Jacob can come back.
Right.
So Jacob can be a good guy.
But there's also like...
They're like, he's rubbing your
father's car died for some reason even though we knew it was supposed they wanted it to die like
so in the end they've set up that everyone is kind of like a dirty half criminal and then by
the end of this movie it's like everyone was actually completely right in what they did and
no one did anything wrong i mean it's fully nuts so jacob and otto take ellie and the second ari's device uh
oh wait i jumped with the with jacob getting the girl that's later so much fucking happens in this
movie so it doesn't you we could jump we can talk about the third act right now end on the beginning
of the movie and no one would even know we talked out of order. It's fucking wild. So then Otto launches a satellite while Jacob has Ellie activate Ares.
They upload Ares to the satellite.
So then Dom,
Letty,
Mia,
Ramsey,
and Han try to stop the upload.
And then Otto betrays Jacob by throwing him from the truck.
Dom and Mia save him in a way where I was like,
Mia is too small to hold on to John Cena's body.
I know.
I've seen the body in person.
You can see her hand looks,
her arm looks a little small.
But she's got mom strength.
She'll fucking yoke that person up,
yoke Jacob up, no problem.
Okay, we have to take a break. can we just jump can we jump back to vin's uh near death experience dom's near death experience
another character comes back from the dead and this time he pulls like the world down on top of him to save people.
Great.
He was like, tell him I love him or whatever.
I'm right.
Tell him I'm right here.
And he turns, double flexes, and leaps onto the people and starts fighting.
Gabrus, I laughed so hard.
The double flex and then the jump.
Oh, boy.
I loved it.
Diving off a diving board.
Mommy.
Yeah.
That fight was wild.
Cause I was like,
Oh,
so he's going to take on a hundred people.
And then he uses chains to break a concrete bridge and then falls into the
water.
Like he's a dream.
His life.
He has like his life flashes before his eyes.
We get like an abstract representation of Dominic toretto's hero's journey yeah ending with michelle rodriguez
swimming down towards him to rescue him i also liked in the flashback or in his like fucking
uh twilight before death his dad was on the phone and was like i better close the door for privacy
this is the moment you're remembering
is your dad jacking off in his office okay so now we see the bad guy launch a space shuttle
in this movie they're like okay well we better leave town now it's like what the
fuck they just launch a fucking space shuttle and then uh let let's see. Oh, so Teej and Roman use a fucking rocket cart to go to space.
This is where I was like, what the actual fuck is happening here?
They're like, what are they wearing?
They're wearing like deep sea diving suits.
Yeah, they're in like scuba outfits.
It's like so insane.
Like they're in like a regular car.
And then there's like candy floating around them and
he's like i eat candy when i'm nervous the thing that stuck with me the thing that i had the
hardest time with in this okay so these three guys are now working for rocket science we've
met them they were just car guys but when the fucking lucas black who is a high school dropout, like, fuck up kid, is flying the stealth bomber.
When did you learn to fly a plane, dude?
This makes no sense that you would be in that moment in there.
Well, he does say at one point, he's like, we got it, right?
Yeah.
Right, we got it.
He's like, we need a southern white guy in this movie.
Great, we'll bring him back. I don't want them to bring him back. I movie great we'll bring him back i don't want
them to bring him back i was not pleased to see him i don't care about him he got like he got as
much screen time as he should have had if not less but uh now now we're our two characters are in
outer space chris ludacris bridges and tyrese are in outer space and they said if the what what is
it two guys from the ghetto are now in outer space or no from the hood are now in outer space. And they said, what did I say? Two guys from the ghetto
are now in outer space, or no, from the hood
are now in outer space. And I was like,
I mean, I guess.
They're like, nobody's going to believe us.
I was like, what, are you going to go back
to where you grew up in the hood
and be like, we went to space.
Also, by the way,
nobody is going to believe us is
like, weirdly a meta commentary on the movie
it's like no one's gonna believe that this makes sense and it's like you are right
boy well they destroy the satellite the satellite they stop the upload cypher bombs the truck and
kills auto dom uses the truck to destroy cypher's drone. Dom and Mia then reconcile with Jacob.
The reveal that it's a drone is whack
because you think that he killed Cypher.
First of all, he killed Cypher
by jumping into a train that's rolling down the hill,
getting proper control of it,
and then whipping the ass around
to fucking blast a stealth bomber out of the sky.
And then that's revealed to be a drone.
And you're like,
so are we going to have Charlize Theron with a third dumb haircut in the next movie?
Honestly, I hope so.
I hope it's like some sort of mullet or mohawk
or maybe she's bald like Dom and she's like,
I'm just like you, Dom.
And he's like, no.
Family.
So Teej and Rowan return to Earth
after visiting an international space station.
Wait, do you think the yellow suits,
do you think the yellow suits were all
just to have the Minions joke?
I feel like it,
because they also have a Harry Potter joke,
which I believe is universal.
Yeah, the Minions joke was insane.
And they're right.
They say like, oh, we're wearing these weird suits.
He's like, they might blow up on us too.
They like a setup that they're going to get to Minions at some point.
It's nuts.
I didn't even think about the universal of it all too.
Oh, universal.
Because they also, I think there was a Harry Potter reference.
But then there was a Chewbacca Star Wars reference.
A long Star Wars.
Not a Star Wars reference.
It's like a fucking three minute Star Wars improv scene. Where she's like, you're Yoda because
you're a puppet with a hand up your butt. Flip me over.
My hair's a bowl. He's like, you're Yoda. He's like, a smart little green guy.
No, you're a puppet, bitch.
A pedophile lives on the planet Dagobah. Dagobah?
I don't know that reference.
That's the name of Yoda's planet.
Oh, Dagobah?
Dagobah, yeah.
That's, oh, maybe I did know that.
No, I didn't.
Later, everyone is at a barbecue at Dom's house
that they're rebuilding.
I was like, so you're going to have a barbecue
while your house is down to the studs?
Where, if anyone has to shit, where are they going to go?
All right, look, we don't have a house,
but what we do have is over a thousand bottles of corona so i think we should like the table is covered in so
many coronas it's like that's not even convenient you're gonna sit there to eat eventually you don't
need ice buckets on the table and then brian comes just as they begin to say grace and they
let little brian say grace he goes i don't know what to say and he's like say what's
that was crazy and then i thought he was gonna like say something great and like you don't see
him say anything like that was just weird yeah yeah it was very weird so saying grace is like
a runner in the last yeah and and grace isn't what's on your heart. It's like a specific prayer. It is if you're the Toretto family of multi-ethnic,
no real, what religion are you?
Doesn't matter.
With a little bit of Nordic in you.
We like a cross.
But I don't know what to say.
Say whatever's on your heart.
Okay.
Who are all these fucking people?
And they sat at the table.
They're like, Brian wants to say grace.
And then he was like
lauren did you watch the mid-credits scene no i bounced before that fair fair but i gotta say
this one was shocking i gasped i i like deckard i like Deckard Shaw. I really like him.
And then when Han arrived at the door,
I went, what?
And then I was like,
are they going to do a Han fucking Deckard Shaw movie?
I would watch it.
Hans and Shaw?
Hans and Shaw.
I would watch Hans and Shaw.
I would do it.
Lauren's like, who cares?
I literally will not
but I'm happy for you guys
thank you
I'm happy that you got
to do a season
of something you were
excited about
I mean we loved
Tyler Perry
so that was a good season
too
that was a good season
yeah
I mean the next one
I'm not looking forward to
I'm scared of it
I'm scared
so this film
was not nominated
for
this film was not
nominated for any awards yet.
Yeah, I know.
It's going to get the lifetime achievement as soon as it ends.
As soon as someone's done watching the first fucking cut.
So a critic from the New Yorker wrote,
the acting is of a soaring ineptitude.
The deeper Diesel emotes,
the more he resembles a man who dabbed too much wasabi on his tuna roll
that's not nice i think ben is great i think and here's what i'll say like i always make fun of the
way uh dom acts in these movies but i like the kind of stoic some people would argue bland choices
he's making but i think it allows a world that's so crazy to just have like a guy who's
singularly just going like family and not like not making you feel like complex emotions at any
point like i think he's right for the movie and then no shots to your boy cena but then i think
that's why cena hits too is because he's he's charming as fuck but he's not like coming in with
this like insane character.
Of course, Dom's brother, who's also a weirdo freak, is kind of a stoic, tough guy who says...
I will say this.
They didn't give Cena much to do in the movie.
No.
He thrived with how little they gave him.
I wanted to see him fight that big Martin Ford bodybuilder on the roof of the car for way longer.
Me too.
When his head hit the fucking
sign like a street sign and he was fine and you're okay wow i love this um so this movie
made a shit ton of money so it was a 200 million dollar budget it made 716.6 million dollars the
year's not done uh it will make a billion dollars and we will get our 210 or i say probably
f10 broken up into two bits because nothing's on the table on f10.2 or some shit and i want my
hobs and uh han no my sean my my han and shaw uh, okay. Trivia.
The Fast and the Furious was released June 22, 2001.
F9 was released almost exactly 20 years later on June 25, 2021.
Oh, shit.
That close to 20 years.
That's crazy.
Vin, Michelle, and Jordana are the only remaining cast members from the first film.
Both Sung Can and Justin Lin have stated the name han so so wait solio what they show his last name at one point in the movie and it might be in this one but it's definitely an f8 and it
says solo but spelled like soul the capital of korea oh so it's like a little inside joke uh
that that's his fit that's his alias that's his alias his real name his alias. His real name is Han Liu. Yeah.
And I got to say, okay, Lauren, what is your takeaway from F9?
You know, it felt like I was watching a commercial for a video game.
Okay.
That's how I felt most of the time.
It was like crazy explosions.
I think it's not my genre.
Like I'm not really someone who wants to sit down
and watch like cars explode,
but I could see why people think it's really fun.
And I thought the acting was enjoyable to watch.
And it's definitely like a big summer fun movie.
I think seeing that in theaters,
I would have had a good time.
I just, you you know watching it
alone um as an assignment probably not my best situation but i i think for if you have a hard
time focusing on like long movies which i'm not saying you do like this but i think this movie
knows that it's got an add audience a little bit because it's like let's just go to the beach now and now we're at a different guy let's go to space like they they they set up
enough shit that they can cut around enough that you're never like what is this it's like we're
just already on something i agree i think i would have been really happy to be stoned watching it
oh yeah i can attest i can attest that that that definitely was enjoyable yeah
um i liked it sober.
I really liked it.
I'll probably watch it again.
Lauren.
I'm happy that you liked it.
I've got like 24 hours
left on my rental.
I'm definitely going to
throw it on after this.
I bought it for $20.
Yeah, well that's
Wipeout money
versus High and Mighty money.
That's Wipeout money
versus Mack Weldon money.
I rented Candyman for $20.
There's this whole system now.
It's like some of the rentals are $20.
I rented Barb and Star for $20.
I watched Barb and Star for $20.
I think I did too.
The ones that come out day and date,
I think they're doing for like almost the cost of a movie ticket.
Yeah, I mean, I understand it.
I'm like, it feels like it's like going to the movies.
It's cheaper than that anyway. So it feels okay. But it's a lot's like going to the movies it's cheaper than that anyway so it feels
okay but it's a lot for a rental
yeah it's a little it's a lot for rental then it's
like whack when you're paying for it on Disney Plus
which you're also paying for Disney Plus
yeah I don't like that
they gotta get it together
figure it out
Warren do you have anything
that you want to plug yeah what's this new
project that you're doing under wraps yeah we haven't mentioned it anything that you want to plug? Yeah, what's this new project that you're doing?
I can't, it's under wraps.
Yeah, we haven't mentioned it.
Unwrap it!
That's bad, I think.
You gotta unwrap it!
I don't think you're supposed to wrap that project!
For anyone who doesn't know, I had a baby.
So you can go to my Instagram and you can see my baby.
At Lauren Lefty.
At Lauren Lefty.
And then, what else do I have going on?
You know,
nothing really.
I would just say,
um,
yeah,
listen to freedom.
We're about to come back with more.
It's my fun podcast with Scott Aukerman and Paula Tompkins and listen to the
old episodes of newcomers while you're at it.
If you haven't heard the other seasons,
go through the rabbit hole.
And Gabrus,
I just want to thank you for doing this,
going on this journey with me.
Thank you so much for having
me, Bayer. This was a pleasure. And then
on the last, to do a flip,
newcomers, I mean, I've guessed it on almost
every other season, too, so this
was thrilling for me to do
ten in a row, screaming about some
of my favorite movies with you. I'm sure you.
People are loving it. I saw so many tweets that I was somehow tagged in
where it seemed like they were happier about this show
than the one I was on.
And I was like, this is great.
No, I was happy for you guys.
I saw a lot of positivity.
I thought Gabrus gaslit me into opinions.
Yeah, so I was like, Gabrus, stop gaslighting Nicole.
And I was like, Nicole's like one of the strongest personalities in the world.
I don't think I'm steering that ship at all.
Yeah, I don't think so.
But hey, whatever.
People can have opinions.
And guess what?
It's fine.
Now we're.
Before I go, because this is my last one.
I just like to say, if you want to hear me talk about movies more, you can check out
actionboys.biz.
It's an action movie podcast I do with.
It's a completely different vibe than this.
Arguably way worse it's three
plus hours every episode and it's
three 40 year old white men discussing
movies for longer than the length of their movies
so it's not for everybody when I did the episode
I was like I have to go
like two hours in
and then you were like I didn't realize and we were like it's fine
I was like I gotta pee really bad
and like
we understand
last guest of the pod because we were like we shouldn't do this to anyone else I was like, I gotta pee really bad. We're like, we understand.
Lapkus, last guest of the pod because we were like, we shouldn't do this to anyone else.
Oh my God.
We just had you, Anders,
and the Doughboys,
and maybe Sean Clements are the only people that ever
guested on. That's very funny.
We can't keep these people here.
They're being allotted. It's too mean.
You gotta pay them too much once you're at three hours.
That's like a sad favorite them too much once you're at three hours that's like a sad favorite uh okay now we're at a segment called rate and
no i said this like big dumb goodbye it's like all right we gotta do one more
i gotta hear just went no oh my god i gotta hear these reviews kettle pot and said wait
why did i think i'd seen all these films?
Much like the goal?
I thought I had seen every fast and the furious film and declared myself a
huge fan of the franchise.
Turns out I seen two films,
approximately 12 years apart.
Who knew?
I've been loving it.
So I wrote this review.
Who knew?
I've been loving this deep dive of all these films,
many of which I'm experiencing for the very first time.
Maybe I'll watch them all now.
Uh, Griff Dan said
Familia. My make-a-wish
is to get a 30 rack, a quarter
of good weed, and watch all these
movies with Nicole and Gabrus.
I mean... Oh, man. My dream
is to watch all these movies with Nicole, too,
but sorry, stranger who left the review.
You're not in my
fantasy situation.
Maybe we should do a re-watch uh one of these days uh i'd like wait is it still in theaters let's go see it in theaters i want to i i would come
to your house and watch fast nine one night if you were down i would i would be a hundred percent
down i love this very much i bought it we can watch it anytime we want baby and uh maybe in
three years there'll be another episode of newcomers where i just pop back
into new fast 10 oh my god because it will be out in three years you're gonna have to find me on the
fucking beach town that i'm like living and hiding out in um so write more reviews to let us know
what franchise we should check out next um i think it's been decided though but whatever i'm not
excited about it maybe they'll have a good suggestion
and we'll be able to pivot.
We can get the fuck out of that.
Okay, well, that's it for
newcomers, Fast and the Furious. Thanks for listening.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye. Thank you. That was a Hiddem Original.