Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Guardians of the Galaxy (w/ Kevin T. Porter)

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

This week on the pod, it's Nicole, Lauren, Groot, Rocket, and Kevin T. Porter just having a lot of fun. You guessed it, it's finally time for Guardians of the Galaxy! They laugh, they cry, they laugh/cry at the BTS footage of Vin Diesel saying "I am Groot" in multiple different languages. Something for everyone, this time around! Be sure to check out Kevin T. Porter's podcast, Good Christian Fun.  Next week's movie: Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Buffy! Now! Yeah, hey, cool man. No problem. No problem at all. Who are you? Star-Lord. Who? Star-Lord, man. Legendary outlaw. Forget it.

We arrested these five on Xandar. Check out the rap sheets. Drax, aka the Destroyer. Since his wife and family were killed, he's been on a rampage across the galaxy in a search for vengeance. Gamora, soldier, assassin, wanted on over a dozen counts of murder. Rocket, wanted on over 50 charges of vehicular theft and escape from lock-up. What the hell?

Groot, has been traveling recently as Rocket's personal houseplant slash muscle. Peter Jason Quill. He's also known as Star-Lord. Who calls him that? Himself, mostly. He's wanted largely on charges of minor assault, public intoxication, and fraud. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know how this machine worked. They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy.

What a bunch of a-holes. Thank you. Wow. Okay, so I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. And this is Newcomers! And we are covering, unfortunately, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This is the seventh episode in the fifth season. We're working our way, working our way through the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's work. And there are many hours logged. We have guests, including fellow newcomers.

We have super fans. And sometimes we even have people who've contributed to this franchise. Yes, this will be 20 episodes because people can only suffer for so long. We're going to cover as much as we can to get an overview of the franchise, but we're not going to be able to get to everything. Today, we're discussing... Oh, there's a second one?

The first Guardians of the Galaxy from 2014. It is available with a subscription to Disney+. You can watch it for a fee on amazon apple tv google play and voodoo we're gonna spoil it yeah so just deal with that and before we bring in our guest nicole what were your basic thoughts on guardians of the galaxy okay i was excited because a woman has a writer's credit on it um nice. What is her name? It's Nicole something. Nicole Perlman. You have not yet been introduced.

Especially to say a woman. Shut up. Excuse me. Excuse us. Two women are speaking. Two. Two women are speaking about another woman. This is the Bechdel Test of Podcasts As I was saying before

I was rudely interrupted by a man I mean, I guess we should just introduce our guest He's foaming at the mouth to be intro'd It's Kevin T. Porter Don't start talking, we have more Kevin is a comedy adjacent person who hosts podcasts like gilmore guys good christian fun inside voices and mazel goys wow you can follow him on letterboxd and only fans wait? You have an OnlyFans? I do have an OnlyFans.

OnlyFans.com slash Kevin T. Porter. I'm up to 17 fans. No, you do not. What do you do on OnlyFans? Do you show them toes? I show more than that. What the fuck? Wait, really?

Kevin! What? I've never gone to OnlyFans. It's 2022. I'm immediately going to your OnlyFans right now. Life is so bad now. We have to do everything we can.

You think you can have one job anymore? No, you have to have four and an OnlyFans. I'm obsessed. And I assume you wrote this bio where you called yourself comedy adjacent. No, that was Nicole putting a little jazz on it. No, I did write that. I did write that. Of course.

Wait, okay. I'm on your link tree. I'm getting to that OnlyFans. If there's OnlyFans on a link tree, I'm just going to jump for joy. Oh my gosh. There's an OnlyFans on the link tree. This is so exciting. I love OnlyFans.

Okay. Listen up. I'm going to subscribe later. I owe it all to them. Wow. Okay. Please show me the goods. Oh, you want to see them now?

Yeah. Okay. Lauren, you're a married woman. I just want to know. It's through a camera, through Zoom. It's like, this isn't real, you know? None of this is real. Let me see.

Okay, hold on. I got to log in because for whatever reason, OnlyFans does not save your login. You have to re-log in every time because they're like, what you're doing is nasty. Yeah, they want you to double think your choices and it's also like if somebody got your phone and started looking at it

oh maybe I bet maybe maybe not who knows okay well as you're doing that we can move on and talk about

the fact that we watched Guardians of the Galaxy today and Kevin what was your first experience with Marvel with Marvel oh gosh I think I my first memory of it is my parents saw Iron Man,

and they said, Iron Man was pretty good. You would like it. Wow. I didn't watch it for years. And then I saw Iron Man 2, and I saw most of them as they came out theatrically. I like Marvel. I don't know if I love any of them,

but this is what entertainment is now, so we all have to accept it. I guess we do. That's the thing. I thought about this before coming on, because you've covered Fast and Furious. You've covered Madea, or the Tyler Perry extended universe.

You've covered, oh, I just got a email notification. Very upsetting. I got an email notification. You have a new fan. Congratulations. We need. It's me. Wait wait how much is your only fans it is 9.99 a month okay um we need 40 people to do it 40

listeners need to do this um and i'll do content themed to the marvel cinematic universe oh we will i i really need people if If you already use OnlyFans and you love it, just add Kevin. Yeah, just add Kevin. I will say. Maybe I'll do a special newcomers discount with a cover or something.

Oh, I love that. If you are looking for the nasties, it's not here. Well, I would be shocked if Kevin was doing something disgusting. Well, yeah, the kind of theme of my OnlyFans, the arc of it right now is,

will I show Hogg? That's sort of the central question. Am I going to show it? So every caption is like, maybe today, here's me thinking about showing Hogg. Here's my body getting ready for a Hogg reveal. You know what, Kevin? I think there's a lot of people

who'd be happy with that. Yes. The idea of you thinking about doing it, whether they know you'll never do it or not. It feels like something people might like. I will say, not for me. I was looking for the hog. I don't want to see a picture of you thinking about showing your hog, and I don't want to see your hog. And it's no offense to you.

It's just you're my friend. None taken. Yeah. Okay. I love knowing what friends look like oh Nicole if there was a picture of it and it was online I wouldn't not look but I don't

want to pay Kevin to show me there well I just gave Kevin $10 that's very nice of you thank you Nicole that's your podcast fee maybe just for you i'll do a little hogger than the dms oh my god that's another thing you can do you can dm all your fans and say like hey if you tip me this much this picture will become visible to you now that's one

of the mechanisms really intense i don't know i know it starts a joke and it's so funny that our a lot of the basis of our relationship lauren is like we like an animated bear and meanwhile i'm like so i'm fucking on the internet yeah wait is that animated bear paddington of course certainly is never seen the movies people seem to really love paddington so i think i should get into it literally you will love them there is no doubt. The best movies ever. And number two is the best movie that's ever been made.

I agree with that. You're not the only person to say that. It's so good. Well, okay. Did you like the Sonic movie? I'm not going to watch that. That's slightly different than the Paddington films. I cried during the Sonic movie. You'll cry at this.

Four times. No, no, no. You need this. You need this. You need this. You need this. You need to have a movie night. What I was going to say about the franchises

y'all have covered so far, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Fast and Furious, Tyler Perry, and now Marvel. The thing is, if things go the right way

in the next couple years, y'all will definitely be in Marvel movies and tv shows like it's it's inevitable at this point willing i know we would love it we would love it so much because lord of the rings still exists as a niche i know there's a tv show coming out but like marvel is going to swallow the rest of the industry they i need i need on record that we both would love that love it love it want that to happen our opinions are not our own no and anything we've said here can and will not be

used against us in a court of law but here's the thing if you cast me all my opinions change i love it yeah that's really true i really relate to that you know it's like you're not gonna hear me say a bad word and if you want me to love it if you wanted me to change some of my opinions you can go to onlyfans.com i'll have whatever opinion you want well that's hot that is that is hot a man having whatever opinion i want sign me up i did i agree kevin i havehmm. Are you super familiar with the MCU? Yeah, I know it in the most basic strokes. I've seen all of them once, at least, yeah. Okay. I don't know if I'm a super fan where I can say,

this actually relates to issue number 27 in the 40s where they did this and then they changed this color. I don't got that. But I know most of the, yes yes the narrative of of the movies i'm fascinated by it i'm fascinated what it's done to all of entertainment i have a question maybe that you can answer so john c reilly in this movie guardians of the galaxy is married to a a magenta woman and has a child who is also magenta why isn't that child pink that child is mixed why is she the same color as her mom is that child adopted oh no see i i took that to be

man if we're going to talk about like yeah interracial marriages i guess we can we can do that for the next 25 minutes but i just took it to be sometimes it looks more like one race than the other within a marriage. I did not take that to be an adoption situation. Oh, okay. No, no. I think he had sex with that woman. Yeah. And that child just leaves.

And she got pregnant. And yeah. And that's what happened. And then what happened? She got pregnant. She got pregnant. I think in their world, it probably was a four month pregnancy to come to full term and then four months okay but the baby comes out walking i was just about

to say walked out of her pussy it sprints out of the vagina there's a lot of different skin colors in this yeah there was actual black people and i was really excited It was one extra and I was like a black And then they were gone as soon as I saw them Well there's Jaiman Honsu He plays the gentleman Oh yes yes yes I forgot But like in the extra world I feel like there's never any

Maybe I'm wrong I don't know I think some of them have been more balanced in that regard I forgot about what's his name what's it how do i say that jiman hansu i think is how you jiman which character is that he is and he is so hot oh that guy yep yep yep well and here here's what i imagined while watching the movie i saw this when it i actually saw it twice when it came out in theaters i really enjoyed this movie when it first came out i'm sorry that's so huge to go to the movies twice i know but i was really throwing it around back

then as far as what you know there was no there were no variants uh that's the universe fuck you want yeah there's no paddington seven times so saw this twice and but re-watching it this time i was trying to imagine the reactions from la and Nicole while watching it I did imagine Lauren would find Rocket cute and maybe Groot cute and I imagine Nicole would get horny for Drax and maybe horny for Yondu but I could be off oh interesting Yondu was okay for me i loved groot i uh-huh what like truly love groot so much and i really like rocket uh coraf digimon uh boy oh boy does he do it for me the collector man i was oddly like hmm okay oh benicio what benicio del toro yeah uh he's got a strange name in it tan tan olivier t-von the collector yeah i really he did it for me

okay great i was a little off i yeah i i thought um rocket was a lot of fun i wasn't sexually attracted to rocket oh i mean i wasn't sexually attracted to Rocket. Oh, I mean, I wasn't sexually attracted to Rocket. Is that how it came off? Oh, no. I mean, I think Kevin thought I would be sexually attracted to him. No, no, no. I didn't think. I thought you would think he was cute. I didn't mean that literally. Not in a euphemistic way. No, I mean, but there have been characters

that are not human that I'm attracted to. It doesn't mean anything. But I think that this character... I was shocked it was Bradley Cooper. I thought his acting was very great because I had no idea it was him. Same. Is this Bradley Cooper?

I mean, this is a legitimate question. The gentleman has been nominated for nine Oscars over the last couple of years. That's so many. How do you know that? Just off the cuff.

I don't know, but I do. And some of them are producing Oscars because he was a producer on Joker. That doesn't count as much as him being an actor. Yeah. Right, I think he's been nominated. It does for people in general,

but I'm saying because he's an actor, I would say his primary goal would be to win an acting Oscar. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I'm just saying that because I think producing is fantastic. And you love it. That said, if Lauren wins an oscar for producing she's gonna be fucking pissed that no that counts if i win it uh is this his best role he's ever done i mean i'm i'm a jackson main stan from a star is born i love jackson main in a deep way but is rocket raccoon

his finest film work? I honestly think maybe because I do like him as Jackson Maine. I think A Star is Born is one of the greatest movies of our time. I've seen it maybe a hundred times. I genuinely love it but his performance as Rocket is so good. It didn't sound

like him and there was such heart. I really wanted to know if he was in person in the scenes or if he was doing voiceover since like he's so small as a character. It didn't really matter. So for that, what they ended up doing is they did have a gentleman on set, Sean Gunn, the actor Sean Gunn, who some people might remember as Kirk from Gilmore Girls. But he's also in the movie as one of Yondu's main cronies, the guy with the sort of southern

accent. He's James Gunn, the director's brother. Oh, right. He was the on-set stand-in for Rocket. So he would go and do all the blocking and the motions, and then Bradley Cooper would watch that and give the voice performance later for the end. Wow.

Interesting. So he got kind of made with that role. He didn't have to be there all the time. He got to just be at home. And if you watch on YouTube, there's some terrific footage of him doing the voice in the booth and he's giving it his all.

He's going there. He's doing it. His face is fully present. He needs to give it his all because you can tell he's doing that. You can tell. I just loved Vin Diesel as Groot. When he said, we are Groot, I cried.

Yeah, that was intense. I mean, I actually liked this movie a good amount compared to other films especially. But I was actually most moved by the realistic relationships that Peter experiences in his life. That part was too sad for me at the beginning, but then I liked how it connected at the end, which we'll get to.

But it was really sad. But I liked that. And I like whenever these movies have real moments because I feel like it helps me care about everyone. Sure. Nicole, I also cried at that part, which I wasn't expecting. You did? Yeah. I didn't expect to cry either. And I was like, oh my goodness, these are tears. I am

openly weeping at a Marvel movie. I think a part of it for me as well is the fact that Rocket Raccoon reminds me a little bit of my dog's face. So when Groot is wiping a tear away from Rocket's face in a self-sacrificial love gesture it's very very beautiful to me yeah and I do think I said he had Paddington vibes when I first saw him which will do a lot for me he's a little guy he's just a little angry

guy with trauma he does have trauma and when he was going through like he was like I didn't ask to be made I was like oh my god I feel that like did any of us ask to be here yeah that's hard yeah um can we jump into our daily bugle segment of course

okay this is our news segment this season and we're going to give a recap of what's been going on lately in the MCU so composer Michael Giacchino is reportedly is reportedly directing a Marvel Halloween special for Disney+. The special will star Gail Garcia Bernal as the character Werewolf by Night. Now, I like the idea of a Halloween special.

I love anything special for Halloween. This is a very interesting move because you often hear about actors becoming directors and sometimes writers becoming directors like aaron sorkin you don't often hear about music composers becoming directors it would be very strange if john williams announced hey i'm gonna take a crack at a short film tomorrow you know like it's an interesting pivot but hopefully he's got the goods i think he he probably does got the goods you know I think it's, they wouldn't give him the opportunity if they didn't think so. You know what I mean?

It's like, it's a big deal. Do y'all like Giacchino's music? You might know his theme from Up or a bunch of other movies. Well, then yes. I'm not familiar, but I did like Up. Me too. That's how I feel. I couldn't sing it right now, but I liked the movie

and it made me cry in the beginning before they brought in that dog situation and the bird. I was like, go back to the part where it was a relationship between two people who were, it was too much. I mean, I loved being in love in the beginning, but I got mad. I was like, is this a kid's movie? I mean, kids love infertility in their movie. Was there death or was it infertility?

It was both. It got to death eventually. She couldn't conceive children, so they didn't have any. And so when she passed away, he didn't have anyone else. I forgot that part. I'm sad. It's a lot, man. Well, this will lift you up.

New set photos from the upcoming Marvel series Secret Invasion, currently filming in London, reveal that Rogers the musical has transferred to the West End in the world of the MCU. The fictional Broadway show about the Avengers first showed up in the series Hawkeye with a full production number featuring music and lyrics by hairspray duo Mark Scheinman and Scott Whitman. Yeah, Mark Scheinman, who you may know from Hairspray the musical as well. If you like that, you can stop the beat and whatnot. I love Hairspray.

Good morning, Baltimore. as well if you like that you can't stop the beat and whatnot i love hairspray good morning baltimore i saw hairspray in palm springs with a bunch of old white people who laughed at some of the wrong parts because i think they were like reminiscing about like the good old days and i was like this is like racism well yeah because it was like, you know, 60-year-old, 80-year-old white people who were like, I was alive during that. I remember Negro Day. And you're like, yikes. I loved that movie growing up. So that made me feel like the musical wasn't the same.

Like I was like, oh, it's like really glossy version of this. But I love the movie. It's kind of dark and weird. I love the movie, too. I saw the Broadway version. Yeah, of course. When I saw it back in 2005 on Broadway, I was a young boy. And in the part of Motormouth Maybelline, she's played by Queen Latifah in the movie,

who does good. But in the Broadway version I saw, it was Darlene Love, who is a legendary, incredible singer from the 60s on all those Phil Spector songs Christmas Baby Please Come Home that's her and I saw her live I couldn't believe it wow that's amazing um well okay here's another little tidbit in an interview with marvel.com Jared Leto Leto Leto Leto that's right right Jared Leto why does it sound wrong which one is it Leto? Leto. That's right, right? Jared Leto? Why does it sound wrong? Which one is it? Leto. Leto. Okay, Jared Leto. He doesn't deserve a correct pronunciation.

Oh, no. Yeah, I don't know. He teased that his upcoming Sony film Morbius could cross over with the MCU. The multiverse has officially opened, he said, and there's all kinds of opportunities for villains to meet up. All right, Jared. you know what I think is kind of a lot when actors like boldly sort of hint at something that may or

may not be true about a movie like when Aiden said that he was going to be in season one of and just like that but he wasn't and he never was going to the hell did he say he was going to be in it? yes and in the documentary I think it was they talked about it and Sarah Jessica Parker thought it was funny or something but like because it caused a huge stir because people were just assuming it was true.

And then he was never in it. And I was like, that's kind of a lot to like say you're in something you're not in. Yeah. And just be like a straight up liar. I would have liked for Aiden to come back. Me too. At least it would have put it back in the world of Sex and the City. Because to me, and just like that is not canon to Sex and the City.

Stop what you're saying. I literally love it. Okay, so Sex and the City, the series one through six is one canon. The movies start a different canon. That is the movie. So this is like phase two, phase three. Like it's literally Marvel. Yeah.

Did y'all see they announced season two is a go today? Yes, I'm really excited. I put it in my story. Just like that was terrible. And I will watch it till the day I die. It's not terrible. It's actually good. It's terrible and I love it.

Okay. Did you watch the documentary? No, I need to. You have to. It's really good. Okay, whatever. We have to go back to this. By the way, I don't want to spoil it, but congrats on booking Shea Diaz for the newcomer

season finale for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Shea's going to do a great job. Nicole and I are both cast as the new Shea Diaz For the newcomer Season finale For the Marvel Cinematic Universe Shay's gonna do A great job Oh I thought you were Saying that Nicole And I are both Cast as the new

That's what I thought And I was like I'll take it I will be Shay Diaz And congrats on that If that's the case She looks a little

Different this season In some seasons She's Nicole Or in some episodes She's Nicole In some she's me I would love that And we're always

Doing comedy concerts Comedy concerts Shay Diaz The most booked Comic in New York City i have to say i listened to the um companion podcast for in just like that with the writer's room which was really interesting so after each episode i would listen to that and they kept talking about the comedy concert with no irony so i don't know like what happened there but they who do you think they saw

that then gave them the imagination like this is what comedy is like who who do you think they saw that then gave them the imagination like this is what comedy is like who who do you think is the most like maybe my guess is that maybe they know that it's not funny comedy and so they call it a comedy concert because it's like also more of a psa maybe yeah because i just googled comedy concert And there is a website that says Los Angeles comedy concerts, concert fix. But like that's the only website that's like, yeah, we can call it a comedy concert. Sure, if that's how you find the tickets. That's true. Sure.

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It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Link is in the episode description. Ooh, we back. So Guardians of the Galaxy was written by James Gunn and Nicole Perlman, directed by James Gunn, released August 1st, 2014. Let's jump into this plot headfirst. In Missouri, 1988, a young boy named Peter Quill stands by his dying mother, Meredith, in the hospital.

Close to death and delirious, Meredith laments on Peter's father, whom the boy has never met, describing him as an angel. When Meredith passes, a distraught Quill flees from the hospital. All of a sudden, a spaceship appears and abducts the young Peter. Which is wild.

26 years later, Quill is now an adult Chris Pratt and a member of the Ravagers led by Yondu, played by Michael Rooker. Rooker? Rooker. The man who abducted him as a child. The Ravagers have been hired to recover an orb from the planet Morag. But Quill, who wishes to be called Star-Lord, plans to steal the orb from the planet morag but quill who wishes to be called star lord plans to steal the orb and take the reward for himself he is first intercepted by korath the

pursuer uh die oh so we were saying his name wrong so it's die mahan so uh-oh no it's jai but i believe it's it's silent jimoniman Hunsu. Jaiman Hunsu. How can I not say that even though it's spelled phonetically? I'm just bad at reading. Jaiman Hunsu. You're doing great. Did I do it? You're doing so good. Jaiman Hunsu.

Jaiman Hunsu. This is a new vocal warm-up for newcomers. Jaiman Hunsu. Jaiman Hunsu. Jaiman Hunsu. Jaiman Hunsu, who is hot and serves under Ronan, the accuser, Lee Pace. Which was insane. Lee Pace in this role is insane.

He has like the Etch-a-Sketch beard. He looks crazy. It's very funny. Do we generally love Lee Pace in other works and projects? I do too. I don't know Lee Pace from anything else. Well, he was in Lord of the Rings, right? He was in those horror movies you watched.

Yes, yes, yes. But I don't love him from that. I love him from Pushing Daisies. Pushing Daisies rules. People might know him from Halt and Catch Fire. He's an accomplished Broadway actor. He was in the new Angels in America. And he was outed as gay by Ian McKellen on accident.

I didn't know that. Ian! Yeah. Yeah, it was a tough beat for my guy. What did he say? He was like, by the way, Lee Pace is gay in an interview. He was like, this gay over here. Essentially.

Everyone's like, what? What? Over here? That's a bit much. Okay. A little bit. So Korath and Ronan are both members of the alien species Kree. When Quill escapes with the orb, Yondu discovers that he has been double-crossed and issues a bounty for Quill's capture.

Mm-hmm. We learn that Ronan is searching for the orb as part of a deal with Thanos, Josh Brolin, in exchange for the annihilation of Xandar. Despite a delicate peace treaty between his people and the Zandarians, Ronan has gone rogue, systematically invading Zandarian controlled and allied worlds, killing hundreds of thousands in a mad quest for Kree purity. The Zandarians have tried to plead their case to the Kree hierarchy,

but the Kree refuse to get involved. It's like, what? Yeah, it's pretty much how I feel. To aid in the hunt, Thanos has lent Ronan two of his assassin daughters quote unquote oh an orphan i didn't get that she was an orphan gamora played by zoe zaldana i didn't get that at all and then an android named nebula karen gillen um i didn't realize she was an android because she was like i i was made or whatever so i thought she was human who like had been tinkered with okay the villainous group sends gamora to xandar to

intercept quill yeah um i also would never have known that nebula was karen gillen if i mike told me that as we were watching it but i didn't know yeah she for real shaved her head. Did she really? You better work. She shaved her hair. Yep. Wow. I wonder why they didn't just do like a skull cap. Maybe it was easier for her to not do it.

Oh, maybe just to paint the head or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. Interesting. The amount of hours in the makeup chair combined of this main cast must have been stag. Yeah, maybe after like the first couple days she's like, I'm just going to shave it off just to save two hours. Yeah, honestly, maybe.

I don't know. On Xandar, Quill attempts to sell the orb to the broker, but upon learning that Korath was working for Ronan, the broker refuses

to become involved and turns Quill away. Quill is then ambushed by Gamora. A fight ensues, drawing in two bounty hunters, Rocket Raccoon,

Bradley Cooper, and Groot, Vin Diesel, who both seek to collect Yondu's bounty. The Nova Corps, Xandar's prime military force, led by Nova Prime, Glenn Close, arrive and arrest the group, imprisoning them in a jail called the Kiln Lake Pottery. That's my description of how to pronounce it, not what it's actually. Lake Pottery. I would love it if that was the lower third of the movie. It's in parentheses, Lake Pottery. Lake Pottery, was lower third in the movie. It's in parentheses like pottery.

Like pottery. That's how you say it. It's not a new word. You've heard this one. Got to say, Glenn Close's hair in this is outstanding. I was going to say, I love her hair. It's really cool. It's unbelievable.

And part of the reason she did the movie is they allowed her to use her own hair person. So instead of the hair and makeup person working on the movie, she was like, no, I'm using my guy. And they're like, really? Wait, really? Yeah, that's true. Oh, interesting. Well, they did a really great job. So on the kiln,

the other prisoners aware of Gamora's relationship with Thanos and Ronan threaten her life. Drax the Destroyer, David Bautista, even attempts to kill Gamora for the murder of his wife and daughter by Ronan Gamora reveals that she intended to betray Ronan

and keep the orb for another buyer for a higher price Rocket Quill Groot and Gamora agree to work together

to escape the kiln and split the buyer's money Drax joins them to get revenge on Ronan now at first I was not into Drax the destroyer. I was kind of like, Oh no,

because he was like so literal with everything. Like he didn't understand play on words or puns. I was like, Oh God. But then he became very funny to me as it went on. Very, very funny. And then a friend of mine was like,

Oh, like autistic kids really identify with him. They're like, Oh, I don't get jokes like that either. i would respond like that oh that's cool which is i think really sweet that's nice or kids with autism i think that's what i'm supposed to say oh boy i think you did it fine okay thank you we'll find out in the reddit comments people comments. Yes, people will let me know. Learning of Gamora's betrayal, a furious Ronin meets

Thanos in person. No, we should pronounce it like that. Thanos. Thanos. Thanos. It feels more Greek to me, like Thanos. Thanos. Okay, when the other,

when the other, sorry, who you may remember hired Loki and the Avengers scolds Ronan for disrespecting the warlord, Ronan angrily breaks the other's neck, killing him and forcing Thanos to speak to Ronan directly. Thanos entrusts both Ronan and Nebula with fixing the Gamora problem

and retrieving the orb and threatens to kill him if he returns empty handed again. This scene was wild to me because Ronan fucking made that man's head go in the opposite direction of where it originally was. And then we like pan up to Thanos who's in a space chair. And I was like, what is this? Where is, like, why is he just hovering in this chair?

And Ronan is a very scary character. It looks like he drank too much grape Kool-Aid and was like, and like, it just went everywhere. Yeah, I think that was the intended effect. I was just like,

just like, you know, when you drink too much stuff? No, for sure. There's like, I mean,

there's certain kids in the world, you know, where you're like, that's, that's a juice mouth kid. Yeah. Yeah.

Where like, they just always have a stained mustache. Like, whether or not they literally do, you just know what you, you know what that means that means well you're supposed to say kids who have juice thank you kids with juice please don't come for me about the juice kids um so okay yeah and then

here we go quill and his allies accompanied by drac managed to escape the kiln where they are distracted by the guards by disabling the station's artificial gravity, which was explained by Zoe. She had a lot of exposition lines. I appreciated it. In case you didn't get it, here's what just happened. Didn't you love that, though? I did.

I didn't understand. I thought they were floating up. I didn't know why. They flee and quill ship the Milano, and they travel to a planet called Nowhere, where the fugitives wait for their contract, or no, contract, in a bar called the Boot of Jeremiah? No, there's no R. Gemma?

I don't know. Quilling a more a flirt while Drax and Rocket get into a drunken argument. I liked that it was called Nowhere, K-N-O-W-H-E-R-E. That's fun. It definitely feels like, it's a thinker and it's like Erewhon, but the other way with a K. Wait, what is Erewhon?

No, Erewhon, the grocery store, is Nowhere Backwards. Who knew I didn't? I didn't freaking know that. I love it. I'm so happy I was able to bring this to you today. Wow. Thank you.

Yeah. And it's a company that's actually been around since the 70s. I recently was, I saw somebody posting about this, that like it was like a camping sort of store, like Erewhon, nowhere, because it's like you go camping and then it became now a high-end grocery store that I've never been to. And I'm curious about, but I'm scared and intimidated. I'm scared too.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's never go. I feel like you're not cool enough to be here yeah right here right now let's make a pact we're never going to air one i'm immediately gonna break it because i've been really wanting to go i'm just curious oh no sorry um okay and then drax storms off and the rest of the group is summoned by karina played by ophelia lovebond to play with the to play to meet with the, to play, to meet with the collector

Benicio Del Toro. They hand the orb over to the collector, who opens it up to reveal an infinity stone known as the Power Stone. He explains that the stones were the remnants of six singularities that predate the universe. Some stones we've seen before in the MCU, the space stone, that was the MCU, the space stone, like that was a movie. I was like, we didn't watch the space stone. Yeah, MCU, the space. And that was the MCU, the space stone. Like that was a movie. I was like,

we didn't watch the space stone. Yeah. What is the space stone? Some sounds we've seen before in the MCU. The space stone is inside the Tesseract. The mind stone was inside Loki's scepter. And the reality stone was introduced in Thor, the dark world, along with Karina and the collector.

Um, interesting. And we didn't see Thor, the dark world. No. So those two characters were introduced in the post-credits scene oh okay i'm so glad you're not watching thor the dark world y'all have been through quite enough you've been wow people really do say that thor is so i thought the first one was trash yeah but i don't know how the second one's the worst. The second one's the worst. I don't know how. It's widely regarded with maybe Eternals as being the worst Marvel movie.

Oh, the Eternals is bad? Are we watching that one? We are. Thanks. You are? Oh, no. I like it, but I get why people don't like it. It can't all be his.

These are not endorsements. My choices are not endorsements. You're just trying to give us a real view of what's going on here, which I think is good. The collector prepares to give the outlaws their payment, but Karina, seeing this as a chance to free herself from servitude,

suddenly grabs the stone and taps into its power. It kills Karina and blows up much of the collection. Quill, Gamora, Rocket, and Groot barely escape. And that was scary. Ronan and his forces suddenly arrive, summoned by a drunken Drax. While Drax battles

Ronan, the others attempt to escape using mining pods and are pursued by Ronan's minions and Nebula. Ronan easily defeats Drax, while Nebula destroys Gamora's pod, leaving her floating in space. I really didn't like when he put Drax in that like, uh, yellow goop. Oh.

Wait. Because it reminds me of piss. Oh, Drax is Dave Bautista, yeah. Uh-huh. Reminds you of piss? Is that what you said? I'm asking. Did it remind you? No. I thought it was like, it looked like pea soup or something. It was like soupy. Well, if I can interrupt the synopsis for a second.

Please. Of course. Did y'all at least appreciate that this was, up to this point, maybe the most colorful of the MCU movies? I did. It is colorful. I actually was talking about, okay, I have to say I did a watch along for it. That's on my Patreon.

Mike and I recorded a watch along. It helps me pay attention, actually, I noticed, to talk over the entire thing because I'm actually going, wait, what? Who's that? Why is that? Okay. But I kept saying, this is, to talk over the entire thing because I'm actually going, wait, what? Who's that? Why is that? Okay. But I kept saying, this is so pretty. I like this part.

I like when there's colors. And this movie really lit me up with the design and the colors of it. I thought it was really beautiful. The beginning was dustier. And then I was a little nervous. Like when you first see Chris Pratt on the planet that he's on. And I'm like, oh, no and i'm like oh no it's like this yeah and then you go to the other place and it's pretty and rainbowy and fun

yeah a lot of purples in the movie so much purple the end is just a purple fucking palooza and i had a nice time watching this purple palooza and unfortunately i will say to forecast a little bit i think the marvel movies get a little muddier looking the more they go on. They get really brown and kind of gray because all these things are shot in fucking parking lots in Atlanta, and so it's all green screen to hell, and there's really not any contrast.

I mean, you'll see when you get to Civil War and stuff, but I've always really appreciated about Guardians. There is a color palette. It feels bold, and it feels fun. Yeah, I really like that. That makes me sad. Parking lots in Atlanta. Say what's in y'all's future when you get on that new Marvel show.

Parking lots in Atlanta. You're going to love them. I've worked in some parking lots in Atlanta. It's like everything's moving to Atlanta now. It's like you have to spend a lot of your time there. Atlanta's the wild, wild west. It's lawless. You do whatever the fuck you want there um so nebula takes the orb with the power stone and ronin's forces depart quill is unwilling to leave gamor and summons yondu giving her air

from his helmet to survive until yondu arrives and collects the pair quill manages to negotiate a truce with the ravagers well that was nice because he basically saved her life. Which no one else was going to do. No, not one person cared. They were like, let that green bitch die. By the way, she makes like a lot of videos of herself in green makeup. Zoe Saldana. Oh, she does?

On her TikTok or Instagram or something. She's often doing like little funny bits in her character. I mean, half of her working life is wearing a different different color which is what's what's the other thing well she she's green in these avengers guardians movies but she's also an avatar being a little blue girl and she also that's so weird to do a lot of things we are different controversially controversially yes did a little bit of blackface ishness for the nina simone biopic that was like denounced by her family and she she then came out and apologized for

but it's just like if you are sitting in a makeup chair and someone is like coating you darker and making your nose wider i think that's when you go hey should, should I be doing this? Maybe somebody else who looks closer to the subject does this. But yeah, it's interesting. Cool. Okay. Lauren's like, I won't touch that. I'm trying not to. I don't want to spoil this for you guys,

but when Nina Simone joins the Avengers in Endgame, it is emotional. And they play Sinner Man over the credits. It's awesome. Oh, my God. Okay, well, moving right along. Groot, Drax, and Rocket reunite with the Ravagers. They devise a plan.

Ronan contacts Thanos, who demands that the Kree deliver the orb he was promised. However, Ronan embeds the Power Stone in his hammer and promises that after the destruction of Xandar, he will come for Thanos. Nebula also agrees to aid Ronan. Quill sends a message to Romande, played by John C. Reilly,

warning the Nova Corps of Ronan's attack. I gotta say, it's a lot of plot and story. And I was like, I just want my friends to have fun i want more groot i want more rocket well this is a huge problem with these movies that like they make them two and a half hours long when you're like one and a half would be great yeah one and a half we'd get the the heart of this the meat of this that we all love the fun great this is only two this is only a two two hour movie as well. Yeah.

This one was a shorter one in the grand scheme of things. I know, but still too long. I don't believe any Marvel movie will ever again be under two hours and 10 minutes, two hours. They're always, it's like a law now. I'm sure there's some sort of streaming algorithm that makes them that way.

I wanted to see the new Batman, but that's three hours long. And I was like, I don't know if I have it in me.'s yeah it's a long fucking time and i mean the next movie we're watching is two and a half hours i started watching it today i gotta log some time which one is that one um age of ultron oh god another that's an avengers one yeah i fucking hate when they're all together are you gonna wait till you see it's gonna be funny it's gonna be funny um yeah that's our next get um okay so we're still talking about this uh fucking summary we're really trying to work our way through this here

quill's group and the ravagers arrive at xandar while rocket assists the nova corpse fleet the rest of quill's team breach ronin ship gam Gamora battles Nebula while Quill, Drax, and Groot battle and kill Korath and the Saurakhan soldiers. Gamora tries to convince her sister to abandon Ronan and join her in freedom. Nebula refuses her sister's offer and mumbles something right before she falls down, flees in a hijacked Ravager ship. Ronan uses his new power to destroy the Nova Corps fleet, including Garth and Saul, Peter Serafinowicz, and easily overmatches Quill's team.

Rocket flies his ship into Ronan in an unsuccessful attempt to kill him. The extensive damage causes Ronan's ship to crash on Xandar. Groot extends his roots to protect his family. Or his family. I made them his family. Groot extends his roots to protect his friends, seemingly sacrificing his life. I didn't like that part. I got scared. We family Groot extends his wish to protect his friends seemingly sacrificing his life

I didn't like that part I got scared which is so sad we are Groot we are freaking Groot gang so we are Groot

Quill's team survives the crash Ronan emerges from the wreck and prepares to destroy Xandar Quill suddenly starts dancing distracting Ronan

long enough for Drax to shoot him I liked that part I thought it was very very fun the power stone flies away from him and Quill grabs a Gamora I liked that part. I thought it was very, very fun. The Power Stone flies away from him and Quill grabs it. Gamora, Drax, and Rocket join hands with him to share the stone's power, which they redirect to kill Ronan.

Gamora immediately places the stone in a new orb, which Quill appears to give to Yondu. Once they have left, Quill reveals that he had switched the containers and gives the stone to the Nova Corps for safekeeping. Quill's group, now calling themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy, like the title, are praised by the Nova Prime, who expunges their criminal histories. Nova Prime also reveals that Quill, reveals to Quill that based on medical reports, they have deciphered that he

is only half human, and his father belongs to an ancient alien race. He accepted this so easily. he was like cool yeah sounds good yeah cool uh the guardians then leave uh xander and quill ship which was repaired by nova cores core nova core and venture out into the galaxy in search of adventure accompanied by a recovered group which is already beginning to work out he's so tiny oh my god he's so tiny and the first credit sequence he's so tiny. In the first

credit sequence, he dances to the Jackson 5 and when I tell you, I screamed. I said I need that. I need that guy. Yeah, I need a little Groot. I need a dancing Groot like they from the 90s where the little flower dances. Meanwhile, the collector sits in his destroyed archive where he is licked by Cosmo

the space dog and mocked by one of his collections, Howard the Duck, played by Seth Green which was random as hell to me. Yeah I was like what is this? Random. Random. Random like who even has thought about Howard the Duck in a long time not a long time. I don't even know who Howard the Duck is. He's a weird movie star.

He's a weird movie star. Lauren they're all weird movie stars. Well. It was this failed movie from the 80s i believe george lucas produced and it was a big bomb yes at one point you do see a lady ducks bare breasts in the movie famously that became a meme and then this was like a little nod to it because it was technically a marvel comics character wait there's lady duck breasts? Yeah, you gotta find those. Yeah, okay, I can make it my virtual background. No problem.

So weird. You guys did it. You got through the synopsis. We really did. It wasn't easy. And a lot happened. Like, just so much. So much.

Wait, show me. This is like... Wait, is this on Kevin's OnlyFans? Yeah, it will be pretty soon. Here. Kevin shows his duck tits on OnlyFans. I will show duck tits. I'll grow them and show them.

Here we go. Here's for the nuts. That's so disgusting that I can't even deal. It's really. It's too real-ish. You know what I mean? It's like. Uncanny Valley.

They should be more feathery and like. Why are they human? Less than just like a woman painted white. It's probably what it is. This is really upsetting. I'm sure it's very formative for a certain kind of sexual person. Yeah, for sure. I saw that when they were a kid and they're like,

wow, representation matters. Then I guess I'm glad it happened. Yeah. Okay. I guess I'm glad it happened. Yeah. I guess I'm glad it happened. Here's some info about the awards for this movie. Guardians of the Galaxy was nominated for a whole bunch of awards, including an Academy Award for Best Makeup and Hairstyling and Best Visual Effects, a Writer's Guild Award for Best Screenplay, and a Grammy Award for Best Compilation Soundtrack. I did like the music. Me too.

And I thought I wanted more. I loved the scenes with the famous songs. I thought that was really fun. I just wanted more of that. And it was nice too that you could tell that they got the rights before they shot because they're singing the song.

The come and get your love and the opening credits. That was definitely baked into the script. There seemed to be a good amount of care. And it was one of those things, because of the framing device of all the songs or mixtapes that his mom gave to him, every song has an emotional weight to it. That's not just a music supervisor picking something.

It's like, I don't know, this would be cool. It's like, no, Peter's mom picked that for him to listen to, so it means something to him. Yeah, and then at the end, when he opens up the second, the volume cool. It's like, no, Peter's mom picked that for him to listen to. So it means something to him. Yeah. And then at the end, when he opens up the second, the volume two, I was like, so there's only going to be two of these movies, but then there is a third one. And I was like, how are they going to get the music for the third one

if there's only two mixtapes? There will be a third one. Have we talked at all about the James Gunn controversy regarding the Marvel Cinematic Universe? No. What is the controversy? I don't know if I know about it. So James Gunn, by the Marvel Cinematic Universe? No. What is the controversy? I don't know if I know about it. So James Gunn, by the way, to me, this is like the first Marvel movie that felt like

it was made by a person. The rest of them are fairly anonymous. Like Jon Favreau feels like a company man. Kenneth Branagh just seems like a really extra Shakespearean guy with not a good sense of action. But this is like, you could get James Gunn's personality from this movie. I feel like he's an outspoken,

not even like lefty or progressive, but just kind of liberal on Twitter. And because of that, he got targeted by some right wing trolls. This was a couple of years ago and they found old tweets of him, a very off color jokes about, uh, child pornography. The jokes were about child pornography or like very edgelordy stuff from 2010, 2011. Edgelord?

What's that? Edgelord is like a certain kind of comedy style where it's like, isn't it funny how, you know, pushing the boundaries or how edgy I'm being? Isn't it funny that I'm doing that? Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you can sense maybe some of that a little bit in the sensibility of this movie. So this right-wing troll comes up with,

you know, finds all these tweets. He tweets them out. And he says, look, this guy's working for Disney and working with children. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. Disney fires him from working on Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. They said, you cannot work on this anymore because of these

tweets. In the meantime, Warner Brothers hires him to do the Suicide Squad movie, and he gets a new job making that. And then in the meantime, during the production of that, Disney's like, just kidding. You can come back and do Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. And so he works

for DC and Marvel within the span of like three years so he comes out on top he sure did wow that's wild all because of some uh yeah bad faith right wing trolls wow yeah it's a very controversial thing a dangerous place to be it is is this your favorite marvel movie so far how y'all feeling about it in your journey? I feel like it's not. I think Captain America is my favorite. Same. Captain America Winter Soldier.

Winter Soldier. I was originally going to do that and then we said just kidding and we rescheduled it because I thought y'all wouldn't like that movie. Interesting. We loved it. You loved Robert Redford saying how hydra i loved robert being so bad

and then in this one i was like josh brolin's so hot and he's got that big old chin and he's thanos like what are we doing we can't cover that up i know a lot of the people were covered up too much yeah i will say but um root is my favorite character, I think, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I wasn't sold on Groot to begin with. And I also thought that Groot was small because I guess I had seen that video meme or something of him like in the little pot at the end. And so I thought he was small. So I was like really confused about him being big. And I kept asking Mike when he was going to get small.

And then he wouldn't tell me and then at the end when he did get small i was like okay i didn't know i was going to be waiting so long for him to get yeah you have to wait a very long time for him to get small but one of my favorite moments in the movie is i think it's uh rocket going you know you can't just because your your kids and your wife are dead to drax and then groot goes and that made me laugh so hard i love groot same yeah groot was good um can i just add i'm sorry oh no please go ahead just thinking of indies all in a recording booth gasping several times really gets me going you love him i think i missed out by not doing the fast and the Furious franchise because I don't know why I'm supposed to love him, but I would have probably learned

if I had done that. I mean, his music career alone, Lauren, should win you over. What does he sing? If you've heard his single. I don't know if I've heard the single, but he does a karaoke version to Rihanna's Stay. That's pretty incredible. He had a single come out in 2020

called Feel Like I Do do which premiered on the kelly clarkson show i believe it was during the height of pin of the pandemic so the clip going around is a virtual audience on a bunch of widescreen tvs dancing at home listening to that is so weird that i can't process it i I love that. I might drop that in the chat. I don't love that for him, but it was our reality for a time. Oh, my God. But he did, you know, speaking to his sort of, you know, his performance in this movie, he has the distinction,

does brag about a lot in interviews, that he recorded the voice of Groot in every language for the movie. We did touch on that in a previous episode and I thought that was great and I was thinking about that while watching as well. Yeah, so good for him. He's great. So also this film won four Saturn Awards,

including Best Director, a Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Long Form and a Critics' Choice Award for Best Action Movie. So it was very well received. The film had a mixed reception after its release most critics agree that it's fun light-hearted take on the superhero genre director steven spielberg said the film was a superhero film that impressed him most as it does not take itself too seriously it holds a 92 rating on rotten tomatoes guardians also made it onto

empire magazine's poll of 100 greatest movies, ranking it as the highest MCU film on the list. I got to see this list because something else we talked about was on this list. And I'm like, what movies? 100 movies is not a lot of movies. And that's crazy. Movies can be anything. I'm just shocked that this would be on there.

Whatever. Let's take a quick break. We'll be back with more Guardians after this. And we're back. Time for trivia. Is it time for trivia is it time for trivia oh my god i never thought it happened but it's happening it's happening oh it's happening first piece of trivia at first director james gunn didn't even want to watch chris pratt's audition his assistant convinced him to and after pratt read for 30 seconds, Gunn said he knew he was perfect for the role. He also said he was prepared to offer him the role

even if Pratt didn't get into shape in time. Gunn joked that he was willing to CGI a six pack on Pratt's body. However, Pratt asked Gunn to give him six months to lose 50 pounds. He ended up losing 60. Pratt called the process torturous. Okay, wow.

He didn't even want to watch his audition? I think originally the person they wanted for Star-Lord was Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I think that's who they were going for at first. That would have been the most different thing ever. It really would have been. Very different. I don't know about that.

I feel like Chris Pratt, he's perfect for this. I mean, it made his movie stardom, right? So yeah, was this the big thing that it really was? Yeah. I mean, it was that. And then the year following, a little film with a little actress named Lauren Lapkus. And I know he'll remember me from interacting with me for 30 seconds, not on screen, just in a general room with a lot of people.

No, there's no chance. I'm truly like, I don't think if I saw him on the street, he would know that I was in that. And I don't think if I saw him in a context of acting, he would know that I was in that. I'd be really surprised.

He might. He might. But, but I think he should know because it's. You were in the movie. Yeah. I mean, it's a movie that he's in.

What if he knows you, but it's not from doing a movie with him mean it's a movie that he's in what if he knows you but it's not from doing a movie with him it's because of doughboys and he was also and i was gonna say i loved his episode of doughboys it's really great he was nice he talks about um how he eats to look how he does and he doesn't enjoy it like he can't enjoy i know it's sad you do you do feel sad for these men kind of locked into these prisons of bodies that they have to be in because of... I feel so sad for these men.

Yeah. I mean, can we talk about feeling sad for men for a minute, gang? I mean, men have it the hardest. They have to have six packs and that means they have to eat chicken breasts. Oh my God. He sucks.

He's so stuck. Let me posit a little theory to the panel that you can agree or disagree with as well. Yes, please. Just thinking about like Chris Pratt and how he's a movie star now and the kind of projects he does. My theory is that there's no such thing

as a movie star anymore. It's only the characters that are movie stars because it feels like the most famous actors in the world cannot by themselves open up movies financially successfully unless it's attached to huge IP. So Robert Pattinson is a huge movie star or is it that he played Edward in five Twilight movies and is now Batman?

And the same thing with all the rest of these people like Chris Pratt doing guardians and then lego and then jurassic world where it's all pre-existing ip that's so interesting like that's not what makes the movie the movie makes the actors yeah whereas like the old model was like i love leonardo dicaprio as jack this made-up guy in titanic now it it's like If Leo was 25 now he would have To be Captain America Like the way Chris Evans is What about Timothee Chalamet

He's not in He's famous but I don't think he's a movie star because I don't think He can open a financially successful movie By himself And he's in Dune which is IP Oh Okay I'm really trying to think of like a movie star Who hasn't been in like He's in Dune, which is IP. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay.

Interesting. I'm really trying to think of like a movie star who hasn't been in like existing shit. Well, like Reese Witherspoon. This is like, that's like the old before. Yeah. Right. That's like the old, like you can't do the Leo or the Tom Cruise anymore. Or the Reese. Who's new, I guess?

Zendaya, Izmichi, that kind of thing. Well, she's Mary Jane in Spider-Man. Oh, okay. See, it's like it's always the character where it's like Spider-Man will always be more famous than Tom Holland, even though Tom Holland is Spider-Man. Yeah. Damn. And it just feels like a different depressing way to think about people's careers now.

It is, and it's very sad. Okay, well, James Gunn has confirmed via Twitter peter quill's ship in the film is named the milano after alissa milano peter quill's childhood crush um bradley cooper told howard stern that he was paid more for voicing rocket in this movie than starring in silver linings playbook and the hangover fucking combined that doesn't shock me at all. No, of course. Of course he was paid more for that. The Hangover was where we first got to know him. Yeah, and Silver Linings Playbook was an indie.

Yeah, it was like an underdog sort of cool movie. And still his quote wouldn't have risen that much from that. And then this is a huge Marvel movie. Yeah, duh. I don't know. I'd be more shocked if he made more on Silver Linings playbook than this. And that would be an interesting information. Vin Diesel recorded his dialogue in 15 different languages. Here's a behind the scenes video of Diesel in the recording booth, which we will definitely

be watching. Should we put it on the Zoom? Yeah, let's watch it. I'd like to hear him say different things. I'm down. Okay. I'm sorry. that's hilarious. Why is he doing that?

Because Vin Diesel's literally incredible. He's method. First cue up. That's the Daniel Day-Lewis of this movie. And then in the movie, when they were filming it, was he like that all the time? I don't think he was ever on set. That's so funny.

Then why is he doing this? To get into character. For this video that we're watching. I'm obsessed. They have to make the mic so high. I was just trying to feel what it felt like to be a seven-and-a-half-foot tree. I love Vin Diesel so much. The fact that he wore stilts.

I love him. Yeah, but then he's like, your legs keep clicking and we can't record the audio. Yo soy Groot. Yes! Yo soy Groot. Yo soy Groot.

Yo soy Groot. Oh my god. I've never been more entertained in my whole life what if you walked into the theater and this was the footage that the movie was wait is this a different day or is this dark now does he ever speak another language in the video that the movie was. Wait, is this a different day or is this dark now? Does he ever speak another language in the video? Hell yeah. He's getting tired. Uh-huh.

Yo soy Groot. Yo soy Groot. Yo soy Groot. All right. Okay, we get it. Jesus Christ. Yo soy Groot. If he's still saying yo soy, I won't get to this, but I'm going to go crazy. Yeah, you guys are here on a good day.

We're doing something we've never done here in Hollywood. Never that I've seen. And what we're doing is saying the lines from the movie in the various respective languages. It's very cool. It's every actor's dream. He is goofy. Oh, my god.

Cinema's king, Vin Diesel. Alright. I'm What language is that? It's still Spanish. No, he's saying Yo so groot. Oh my god. I feel. Yeah, yo so Groot. Oh, my God.

I feel like he's going to burp. I also love that he's doing the ADR 2 picture when he doesn't need to be doing it to picture. There's no image of Groot on screen in some of these clips that he's talking over. It's very funny. And they're like, stop saying that. We're doing this other scene now. He's really giving them options. I love it. Whoa, his mouth really

moves. Yeah, I think Vin Diesel shows up and gives 50% Lauren. He's given a hundred every time. You're so good. Okay. I love this.

Yeah, it's pretty entertaining. I'm satisfied. Yeah, I love the thumbs up. He was like, I really got it there. I have it pulled up on my computer and I'm going to watch it and have a nice time by myself. Anywho, according to Vin Diesel, we're still in trivia. According to Vin Diesel, his performance as Groot helped him through a dark time in his life. He was dealing with the loss of his best friend and Fast and the Furious co-star Paul Walker.

This is a quote from Vin Diesel. It was the first time I came, uh, came back to dealing with human beings after dealing with death. So playing a character who celebrates life in the way Groot does. It's very nice. Oh, that's really good.

Celebrate life. Ah, I do love, I love Groot and I love Vin Diesel. This does feel like a, doesn't it feel like a personal kind of movie? Like everyone's got their messed up stuff, their little trauma. Drax has the trauma of losing his family.

Rocket, you know, was made in a lab. Peter lost his family. Gamora's mad about something. I forgot what her deal was. No, I like that. It's time for our segment, Is Chris in This? This is a segment where we give a yes or no answer about if a Chris is in this movie. Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, or Chris Pine.

Was a Chris in this film? Chris Pratt. Yes. Should a Chris have been in this film? Not necessarily one of the big four Chris's, but how about any Chris, Christine, or Kristen that you want to name, Kevin? I would say Christine Baranski. She could have played the Glenn Close part.

Oh, she would have. She really could have, yes. It is so fucking funny that Glenn Close, one of the greatest actresses and movie stars of our time, showed up in Guardians of the Galaxy for four minutes to be a little space general commander. Her and John C. Reilly, like truly some of the best actors of our time

and they're only in this one they are in no other movies but that's actually really cool like interesting that's like a that's a great offer to get as an a-list celebrity like you want to come and just do this for like two minutes and you'll get to be this like sort of crazy character but that's really fun but i would want to be in multiple movies give me that marvel money where i come in for a week for sure for sure um okay our next segment is is kissing this no this is a segment where we say there's a kiss but there was right didn't didn't chris kiss zoe or no am i making that i feel like they got close to kissing so he was like on top of her i was like i just wanted to save you and i don't know why i'm like i guess maybe horny for you i don't know usually i fuck red ladies but you'll do yeah yeah and i mean he was a horny character yeah he was a horny character so i assumed he kissed but

we didn't actually see yeah and it was insinuated that he was fucking that dizzy red lady in the beginning i really liked that red lady in the t-shirt, that vintage t-shirt. Yeah, she was fun. I was like, this is a cool look. I like everything that I'm seeing here. Was she wearing his shirt from when he was a kid? I think she was wearing a shirt from when he was a kid

and her hair was askew and she was like, I'm here too. I loved her so much. Yeah. I forgot you were there. There was no kiss in this movie, but I think there was an even more powerful gesture of affection in which there was a little pet.

And Drax did pet Rocket on the head when he was grieving the loss of Groot. And I thought that was so sweet. Just boys supporting each other. It was so nice. It was very sweet. That's nice. I love it so much.

Well, now it's our segment called Five Stark Industries. Here's some listener reviews. Five stars from Glass Jaw Girl, the real MCU. This podcast is like the arc reactor and keeps shrapnel bits of negativity from my heart. Aww. And I'm supposed to know, oh, that's what's in the middle of Iron Man. Thank you. I was waiting.

Jesus Christ. I was like, what the fuck is an R-reactor? Okay, so this season, in addition to Apple reviews of newcomers, we'll also be reading reviews from Letterboxd and then giving each film a one sentence review ourselves with a star rating. And if anyone doesn't know what Letterboxd is, it is a social platform where people can write reviews of films. You can follow the show on Letterboxd at newcomers.

And I'm on it too. You can follow the show on Letterboxd at Newcomers. And I'm on it, too. You can follow me on there. I freaking love Letterboxd. Little dork-ass film message board website. It's terrific. Here is a review from someone named Mila. It's four and a half stars. We need to discuss the Baby Groot to Baby Yoda pipeline.

That's true. This is a review by Mulaney, necessarily john melanie um when groot said we are groot i felt that i think john melanie wrote that when he said we are groot i felt that okay let's all give our one sentence review of the film less story more group more rocket more dracks everyone else can go okay my review is bright colors big cities not enough big titties yes kevin and mine of course, is I Wish She Came, Glenn, Closer. There we go. And our star ratings, I would give this, I'm going to give it five stars.

I don't have to only give one movie five stars. And I feel like it's a fun movie. It's a fun movie. I'm going to give it four, three and three quarters stars, actually. Three and three quarters. Okay, I want to give it four and a half. You're going to give it four three and three quarter stars actually three and three quarters okay i want to give it four and a half you give it quarters of stars wow you bullied lauren into a lower rating yeah i love this it's so good i'll give it three and a half myself i really really enjoy this movie okay well that's great now please everyone leave Now, please, everyone, leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and we'll be picking one to read on the next episode.

Of course, it must be five stars. And also, rate the podcast on Spotify. Please. Kevin? Yeah? Do you have anything you'd like to plug? You know, listen to Good Christian Fun, wherever you get it. And, of course, OnlyFans.com slash Kevin T. Porter.

I love that you're promoting OnlyFans more than your Instagram this is real okay Kevin Bacon shop on Instagram at Kevin T. Porter go order delicious treats

yes you can get cookies that's right last time I was on yeah I plugged that and then Nicole put in a very generous order

yes I ordered cookies you delivered while I was recording a podcast and I screamed. Also, I should know because I got a very sweet note from a friend of mine who listened to the last episode that I did of this show, which was the finale of the Lord of the Rings season of Newcomers. Do y'all remember the date that the Lord of the Rings finale of Newcomers came out. It came out on January 5th, 2021.

And so he was listening to it on January 6th, 2021 as a distraction from a certain something happening in the country. We timed that out on purpose. We did. We said we better give everyone something really nice while something really bad is happening. Isn't that wild that we had a full-blown insurrection over a year ago?

That was insane. I feel like I couldn't even process what that was when I was watching the news. I turned on the TV and I was like, say what? Here? We're doing this? I gotta listen to newcomers instead of this crap. I gotta listen to someone talk about Lord of the Rings from 25 years ago.

That episode, I believe, was called 1981 BBC Radio Drama. years ago oh my god that episode i believe was called 1981 bbc radio drama yeah an episode that will live in infamy i mean people love that episode it was one of the worst things that i've ever had to listen yeah it was tough yeah the end of that was really hard for me like the cartoons the fucking radio plays this This is the benefit of Marvel is that we just have movies. We know we're just going to watch a movie that might be good,

it might be bad. Unless they're going to make us read a comic and then in which case, I'll scream. Who is they? Who is the one? They've captured me. They've captured me.

I'm in a basement. I'm looking at just Marvel shit. Yeah, it's terrifying in here. We will be back next week with Avengers Age of Ultron. So we'll see you then. Bye bye. Bye bye. Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.