Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Memes and Parodies Pt. 2 (w/ Jessica McKenna)

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

Lauren and Nicole are joined by actress and comedian Jessica McKenna (Off Book: The Improvised Musical) for some more Lord of the Rings memes and parodies! The three take a peek at Aragorn's text messages, compare Saruman to a shampoo bottle, and watch Orlando Bloom himself imitate a popular song entirely based around a single Legolas line from the films.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.Sources for this episode:The voting is over. It's done.Warner Bros. padding out the Hobbit filmsAre you on your phone while Théoden mourns?Saruman the shampoo bottleAragorn's DMsTrilogy Recap RapThey're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard"Hobbits to Isengard" but it's OrlandoAdvertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. oh wow i'm nicole byer i'm lauren lapkus and oh baby this is the 15th episode of the new season of newcomers 15 wow we've really been doing it. We really have been, and it's been slow, a little painful, but we are working our way through Lord of the Rings content. Yes, and we've watched basically everything I know about Lord of the Rings so far. And last week we mentioned we'd be getting into the video games soon. But before we do that, we've decided to take another breather this week from the heavy plots and juggling the character names in our heads. And today we are just going to unwind, have some fun, learn some new tidbits along the way with some popular memes and parodies of this franchise that have come about over the years.

Okay, let's try to debrief a little bit of what we have experienced. So you said we watched the animated movies, which were creepy and weird. We've seen the original Lord of the Rings, where I was like, this could have been more succinct. We watched that Tolkien biopic. Oh, boy.

Oh, my God. We've watched a fan-made film we've watched i mean god it goes on and on honestly we've written our own fan fiction multiple times at this point can you even i i can't and there's more to come and i guess down the line we're gonna be to be playing Dungeons and Dragons or something, which, look, I'm scared. And I'm scared of what, honestly, I'm scared of what doors that's going to open in my life. You know what I mean?

Because we know people who play these games and suddenly I'm going to be in this world and maybe I'll like it and maybe that'll change who I am. And I'm scared. I don't think it's going to change who you are. I think it's going to be like a nice little sprinkle on the Lauren Lapkus cupcake. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not a nerd, but I will play D&D whenever asked.

And I have seen every episode and movie of Star Wars. And I have seen every single thing that's ever happened with Lord of the Rings. But I'm still cool. thing that's ever happened with Arthur Rings, but I'm still cool. I gotta say the most disappointing thing through this process is no nerds have like reached out to be like, I'll be your boyfriend. You know, everything I've ever wanted to talk about. You know, this is true because I feel like in our community of improvisers, this is like a blind spot for you that now you completely understand and are an expert in. Yeah. And so maybe that should open some sort of dating door with somebody out there. But then but the problem is you don't want to talk about this more. No, I sure don't. And then I just

thought about it. Men like to explain things at you. And now I understand it. Oh, boy. So I've, huh, I can't believe in the last two seconds, I've realized that I was like, Oh, now I'm a catch. And now it's like, no, now you're even less of a catch. Yeah, because you know, too much explain things to you. Dang. Wow. Oh, my God. So okay, well, for this episode, of course, we're going to be talking about memes and parodies. So spoilers will be a part of this. And honestly, I just can't imagine anyone out there listening to this show and being mad about spoilers because that's stupid. It would be so funny if someone was listening to this being like, I'm only going to listen to the episodes where they're not talking specifically about the movies because I don't want spoilers. It'd be very funny.

Very neat. But I will say I get mad about spoilers sometimes when it's totally unjustified like i was watching who wants to be a millionaire last night and they were the question had to do with the movie seven which i've never seen and the question was about the end yes and now i know what's in the box that is like that's a bad spoiler that That actually sucks because it's such a good part of the movie. That's what I thought. You got to see it. That's what I thought.

You got to watch Seven. And I was like, well, now I know what's in the box. You got to watch it for Brad Pitt going, what's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? He's an interesting man. You know, sometimes when you think about him and how he's just like super hot and whatever like i feel like he could be written off for that but he's weird he is weird yeah he is weird but he's weird in a hot way where i think he's made a choice to be weird i think hot

people will do that they're like man how do i like set myself apart from the other hotties oh my god you're right i'll just talk like this a little bit and eat in every scene because nobody would expect a hot man to eat yes you're right okay it's less hot now you know who's hot our guest today i know i love that segue thank you our guest today, oh baby, actress, comedian, we starred on the short-lived series Party Over Here. It was me, it was her, it was Alison Rich. Also, she co-hosts the podcast Off Book, the improvised musical with Zachary now, who was here earlier this season. It's Jess McKenna! Yes!

Oh my gosh, I got to be called hot this is the best day of course and you're smoking hot jess i was just looking at your imdb and you've done so much voiceover in recent years oh you know you gotta thank you you gotta have um be all those scrappy kids it's so good thank you thank you star trek lower decks the mighty ones dc superhero girls big city greens craig of the creek there's more it goes on and on it's a lot of the same archetype it's either a boy or a girl who's like hey i don't know about you and like well those are everywhere and someone's like i would like that also over here but you know it's nice work if you can get it remember that show no what was that what's that sybil oh i did

watch sybil with sybil from the theme song yeah i think so nice work if you can get it and you can get it won't you tell me how you know what i've brought this up to you before but i think about it often is when you sing that sugar song on um dough boys it's like from a sugar commercial would you do it uh yeah of course i'd be happy to um i feel like my mom is like a queen you're like laying back on a couch you went, I would like to hear the sugar song. Will you do it? And then you took a long drink of water. It was honestly iconic.

I moved to the couch today because I was like, why don't I sit on the couch when I do all these things? It's so much more comfortable. And it's been great. I've had a whole day of couch zooming. Yeah. I feel like I'm being called over from a different part of a family gathering. And they're like, Jess, come do the song from the show. Do the sugar thing.

Your aunt hasn't heard it yet. Everyone get ready. It's so good. This is a sugar commercial from the 50s or 60s. C and H, C and H. My mom uses it to make her cakes. She makes the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy They're dan-dan-dandy, island kids all love the cane It grows so clean and sweet

They eat it when it's freshly cut And then that's quite a treat, neat Touched by sun, kissed by rain C&H comes from the sugar cane They make the greatest cookies, snacks, and candy In the bright pink package. You know what's funny? I know that sugar.

The song did nothing until you said bright pink package and I was like, I have some in my pantry. That's the sugar. C&H. Honestly, Lauren, thank you for asking for that. It was a delightful treat and just thank you for doing it. Hey, you know what? I'm here to tap dance.

Let's be clear. So good. So good. Well, OK, so you are kind of a Renaissance woman, I would say. How did you become a Lord of the Rings fan? Oh, thank you. I I read The Hobbit in eighth grade and liked it and did a book report on it where i transformed my american girl doll molly into a hobbit um what do you have pictures this is funny because those dolls are expensive yeah i think i just like i took off her glasses undid her braids and like tucked it into a sweater that i had that was like from, um, there was a lady in our town who made knockoff, uh, American girl dolls clothes. So I had like a chunky blue knit sweater or something. And then I think I truly just drew on her feet with eyeliner.

Oh my God, wait, I was just talking about this, um, with Scott and Paul on Threedom that I was talking about American girl dolls. And of course they don't know what I'm talking about. But now you're the perfect person to talk about this with because I saved up $100 and there was a store in my town that they sold doll clothes that were not sanctioned American Girl doll clothes, but they were like handmade. And I bought a bunk bed from them. And it was so fun to find clothes that weren't from the company. But then like, it's just something that older men can't understand about. And that's just true. You know, older men are not going to understand the singular joy of being like, wait, I don't only have to order from the catalog.

Someone can make clothes to these dimensions. But didn't you love getting the catalog? Oh, and I loved the catalog. The catalog was so fun. And I did get one of those matching outfits. I had Samantha and I had Kirsten and I had the Samantha nightgown that was just like a Victorian white nightgown.

And then she had the matching one. Oh, see, that's nice. I never got the kid-sized version of anything. I also had Samantha. All right, you two bougie babies. Well, my sister had Molly, and I'll tell you, she was not happy when I cut Molly's hair,

and then my mother would not send her to the doll hospital to get a new head. I was going to talk about the doll hospital. I love the doll hospital. Nope, my mother said no. No. I sent my daughter because I got... No. No, I sent my daughter because I got pen on her and then she was sent back in a hospital gown

with a balloon and a bracelet. And a bracelet, right? Yeah. Honestly, I think that is a good way to explain the American health care system to kids. It's like, yeah, when you get hurt, you go to the hospital and it costs a lot of money. And all you get is a like a balloon and a bandaid.

It's true. That's true. I got my sister had Samantha and I had Molly. And then I got a girl of today, which was truly so stupid because she looked exactly like Molly, just without glasses or braids. Like because I was like, I have brown hair and I have this color. And that's exactly what Molly is. so stupid because she looked exactly like molly just without glasses or braids like if because i was like i have brown hair and i have this color and that's exactly what molly is she just has her hair in braids and has glasses like i could have just bought girl of today rollerblades and put

them on molly oh my god the rollerblades were so cool they were cool i wanted that doll did not get it i also wanted i think addy when addy came out i was like a black one and then my friend claudia got addie and then i was like wait we can't brush addie's hair addie's hair is just like mine no i gotta brush some hair i'm gonna stick with samantha and my mother was so upset with me and now i'm like do i buy an addie doll but then also i'm like why did addie have to be like a runaway slave yeah no it's be in the 1920s or something and it is a strong choice to put her in that decade when you could pick any era and also i think we probably were at the age where right when we were growing out of having the dolls that's when they made them where you could pick

them to look just like you and like do that whole thing which was really cute but i didn't want one anymore at that point um but it's so funny because i wanted samantha so bad because that's like what i wanted to look like. Like she looked like Kelly Kapowski to me and I was like, this is, she's perfect.

And my mom really wanted me to have Molly, which was from like her era of growing up. And also I had glasses and like looked like that. It would have been more like the one I would have picked,

but I didn't want it because I thought she was a dork because she had glasses. She was a dork and I liked that. I also thought she was a dork with glasses. You know who I liked?

Was it Felicity? Felicity's cool. Felicity had the horse. Yeah. Yeah. Redhead. Redhead. Yes.

Yeah. It was Kirsten, Felicity, Addie, Molly. Samantha and Molly. Wait, they skipped so many years in between. Oh, yeah. That's wild. This was not an effective way to teach history, for the record. No, I only know about 1904.

That's the only thing. But Samantha was a little benevolent. She did, like, befriend that servant girl that she talked to in between the fences. Nellie! Was it Nellie? I don't remember this. I think so. I think so.

Oh, my gosh. She the friend met serving i also loved she had the um she had you could get whenever you got the food it was always a little disappointed but a little disappointing but didn't she have like a small plate with like pillow mints on it yes i had that oh. And the cake. Buy a plate with fake tiny mints for your doll. That's who Samantha is. She has plated mints. Yep. I wonder how much those are now because they were, I remember the dolls I think were $109, which was a lot,

but they must be more now. Don't you think? I'm sure. Yeah. There are tons now, which is cool. It's definitely better to have have more but it's also oh they're 110 dollars whoa they actually didn't change i like that yeah american girl hey that's you guys are really awesome pink hair that's what i'm seeing whoa they have every pink

hair oh my god they have everything but that's see i probably would want that if i was a kid did you ever have did you ever get American Girl magazine like that? Yes. No. Wait, what is American Girl? Was it called A.G.? They called it A.G. for a while. They had their own magazine and it was I got it for a little bit of time and it had no ads in it. Oh, it was just like articles and artwork and like make these summer treats or like they did have a help column, which I was like, oh, somebody ask about crushes. I'm not going to do it. Someone else. That's so funny.

When you're a kid and you're like reading a magazine, you're like, please have the advice I need. I can't figure out any other way to get this. I can't figure out any other way to get this. If someone could ask, listen, I'm a tomboy who's looking to make sure that boys know that she'd like to also kiss them. How should I slowly evolve my brand so that I'm not just covered in mud? That's a good question. And why are you covered in mud? I like to dig at recess. I just use the cafeteria spork and dug in the playground.

We would dig out dirt clods and throw them each. This is when I was like first and second grade. And if I was like transit, like how do I make sure I could still kiss a boy? It would be more like fifth, you know, a different phase. That's when you start to realize.

Yeah. You're like, what you need. Oh, shoot. Can't just be sporks and dirt all day. Wait, so I read the Hobbit. I'm sorry. I'm still, Oh, shoot. Can't just be sporks and dirt all day. Wait. So I read the Hobbit.

I'm sorry. I'm still American Girl Dolls. That's all I want to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. If I order by December 1st, I can have one by Christmas. I think you should get one. Oh, my gosh.

You should. I think I might. Why not? And I think I might buy my sister a Molly doll. Oh, my gosh. Because she was so, she honestly, I don't know if she ever forg Molly doll. Oh, my God. So she honestly, I don't know if she ever forgave me for cutting her hair off. Do you know how fun that would be to receive in the mail as a surprise?

That's really cute. And she doesn't listen to this podcast, so it will be a surprise. Hey, people, don't tell my sister if you know her. I love this so much. I have my mom has my old american girl dolls in a box somewhere Which i'm planning to have shipped out at some point all my old stuff because she's getting sick of it all being in the house, but I don't know what i'm gonna do. What am I gonna create a shrine to my american girl dolls? Where are you gonna put this?

I think well my therapist said it's okay to have stuffed animals on your bed So I agree with that maybe like i don't know maybe just a nice little setup next to you like in your bedroom or somewhere i mean it might be weird to have in your like living room where it's like please have some wine with my american girl dolls they are also sitting here here's a pitch can it be the base of a lamp? Wow. I actually love this. Well, Nicole, wait, did you end up getting that flamingo lamp? Aren't you on a lamp quest?

I am on a lamp quest. I have. OK, so my friend Franny lives in England. So I like DM term was like, can you can I send something to your house and you send it to me? And she was like, of course. So I didn't stop there. I got this. It's it's i think five and a half feet tall flamingo lamp and then i got a palm tree lamp and i i can't wait to have these weird ass lamps in my house oh that's gonna be awesome if you guys look at the historical characters page of american girl there's like a thousand

now wait really there are so many oh my god and they updated Samantha I don't like these new fonts they're too cool but they gave Samantha a new dress this is kind of stressing me out who's Joss historical character who's Courtney who's Mary Ellen I mean there's this is just a whole wow there's so many Courtney's from the 80s, which means we are old. Mm hmm. Yeah. If that's historical when we were born. They're like she has a tape in a walkman. Oh, and Julie, she's a hippie.

Oh, yeah. Julie Albright. She's cool. I would have wanted that one, I think. Oh, my God. Melody. Melody. Melody is very cool. I love Melody. Oh, I think i'm gonna buy melody oh my oh my god no that you need that i love melody so cute and it also really justifies owning one because it's she's so stylized and adorable i love wait is molly not here dude they erased molly this is molly erasure erasure. They probably retire people.

Oh, my God. Rebecca is so weird. Where is Rebecca from? I'm here for this. Wow. I'm kind of obsessed. Melody's by far the cutest. I can't believe Samantha gets to still be here, but not Molly.

Samantha is gorgeous. I love Samantha. And she's backordered. And she's an award winner she cannot argue with that she is an award winner she's literally perfect I hate her new dress where's her old plaid dress

I love that plaid dress the burgundy and the brown plaid oh boy should we do like American Girl cosplay honestly I would yes I would totally wear some classic Samantha clothes and go to some sort of weird event.

We could go eat at the Grove. Yes. I used to have matching pajamas with Molly, but they were just cute. Were they red and white stripes? Yes. Wow. Those are photographic.

You have a very good memory. I feel like I really studied this catalog growing up. And all the photos where you're like holding hands with the doll. Yeah. I mean, cute. Oh guys,

I found one on Etsy for $170. Oh my God. I found another one for $400. A Molly doll. Oh, like the classic. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh God. Yeah. No. If you're going to get it as a gift, you have to go find that on some weird site. Okay. I'm kind of hoping that this is gonna work out as a gift, you have to go find that on some weird site. Okay. I'm kind of hoping that this is gonna work out. I mean,

wait, so how was the one 70? Was it like a decent looking? I feel like we're just hanging out. This is hilarious. It is. Oh my God. The one 75.

She looks good. I'm looking at it right now. She looks pretty decent. I think I might do it. I might get it for my sister. That's awesome. I know for sure that they redid her braids because they just have some real size ponytail holders in them,

but that's okay. You're a sleuth. I am. Look, she has these red ribbons. Oh, there's another one that's $175 with the red ribbons. Oh my God. See, but Molly was a dork. She was a dork.

Oh my God, this one's $300. She had roller skates and a dog and was trying to do her best while World War II was happening. So she was pretty cool. You're totally right. And I mean, the fact of the matter is glasses are unavoidable. And I mean, I had glasses from second grade on and I didn't look cool. And that's just what that is. And I believe she had like a camping adventure.

I mean, she did. She did. With a canoe, right? I think she had a canoe. I believe so and I think it capsized. So I mean pretty cool guys. She's pretty cool. Interesting. She's got a lot going on. Yeah, Samantha was just rich. 20 minutes in and we've

truly not spoken about Lord of the Rings in the slightest i'm sorry i did have to just you know that was my introduction was turning my american girl doll i really liked it so okay so you read the hobbit you turned your american girl doll into bilbo yeah and then i never liked any other book they were too boring it was like well it's just a lot of walking and really really descriptive in a way that i found dull at the time. I wonder how I'd feel revisiting it now. But I really loved the movies when they first came out and would then like the next year watch the extended version with my brother all four hours and watch like behind the scenes videos of like artisans in New Zealand making chain mail by hand. Wow.

Yeah, I liked it. I liked it i liked it that's interesting that you found the books tedious but then you love the tedious stuff in the like uh movies but i guess it's visual it was pretty different than like using your imagination i also wasn't that big of a reader yet like even in high school i was just like reading for pleasure didn't really take hold like i don't know and this is a slog yeah like it's a lot of pages of walking yeah we've heard that he likes to drag out um how they got from point a to point b and and the movies really do reflect that just long sweeping shots of people walking up a hill, walking down a hill. Yeah. We've heard from one of our previous guests, Oscar

Montoya, that, and we know this to be true because we know you, that you have an incredible ability to recall the smallest details from this franchise and even weave it into musical improv. Oh, wow. And so we know you're very good at this, but have you seen these movies lots of times to absorb all this, or does your brain just

latch onto things after one or two viewings? I. Wow, that's really nice from Oscar. I think it's probably that I maybe had watched it fairly recently when he was on off book and we did like sort of an Lord of the Rings inspired narrative. I do sort of retain information I mean no one know a Molly's pajamas my god

yeah I guess our minds hold on to different things some more useful than others yeah yeah yeah I do really I think I probably have a good amount of details still in the old trap but you're being very modest yes modest is the word because i was on a sketch team with you for years you absorb information in a way that i find

so impressive like you can memorize like you could like have a line spit at you and you could like just recite it back perfectly you have a great memories what i'm trying to say this is a great time for me. No, you really do. I feel that way, too. I feel like in watching you and performing with you, it also really comes through in your callbacks. Like you have a really great mind for just weaving things together and remembering little things or making big connections that aren't obvious. And yeah, it's just interesting. I mean, it's one of those things I feel like with improv, it's really hard when you're thinking about when you're asked something like this, like it's hard to understand how your mind works like to do it. But it is so interesting

how each person is different with like what they bring to their performance. But I feel like that is one of your main skills is like this, this like memory and like connection making. is like this, this like memory and like connection making. Yeah, I do have a good memory. Thank you. That's very kind. I think that for Lord of the Rings is not like a deep, deep, deep fandom for me. Like I'm like, what the heck is Cate Blanchett's

character name? You know what I, so I don't have like an encyclopedic recall, but I think that for Lord of the Rings specifically, like I might for some other types of things or like yeah but I so I guess I'm also nervous that I'm about to be like quizzed am I about to oh no no no not at all I mean that'd be so funny if that's how we set you up to be quizzed so you have a really good memory now do you know okay you're really great and here's a fucking quiz Oscar said you know everything about this um yeah I think I was also just sort of trying to temper expectations about how much I remember

about what it was. Totally. No. I do have a good memory. I think that. Well, and I think with like singing, doing musical improv, you really have to because you're like weaving together like 10 things at once that are like unspoken. And that's what makes it so impressive, I think, because it's just,

it's such a skill. It's, it's so not innate for most people. So like being able to like musically hit a genre and then rhyme within it and have it make sense, do creative things that are weaving in like information from other stuff. Like it's, it's a very, that's an amazing thing. I mean, everyone should listen to Off Book, by the way, which book is so impressive yeah like it's just I did it once I was very scared you were like please don't be scared you'll be fine and it'll be okay but like truly you're great it's incredible what you and Zach can do no yeah I felt the same way like I was like this is so not my wheelhouse and like I just like watching you guys do it it's just so much more fun just to be like can you just do it and I don't have to try oh thank you I feel like also now I've just like only worked that muscle so intensely especially this year it's

like oh what can I still wear it's just like yeah I'm I'm skipping leg day on other things I feel but yeah we really we're like no we going to get excellent at this very niche skill. Has it been weird on Zoom doing that? I'm sure, obviously. But like, yeah, how do you handle that? It's very strange because even a tiny bit of latency makes music impossible. But Brett, our engineer, Brett Morris, has like done he's just like continued to try to like comb resources and we're on a current platform where we'll like stay on zoom visually but we'll do sound through a different site and we've been like getting better and better at finding places with less and less lag um but yeah it's definitely really really hard and like something that you've kind of alluded to

it's like a hard thing for people to guest on like as much as we're like just don't worry it's still like an intimidating ask so then to add on, like as much as we're like, just don't worry. It's still like an intimidating ask. So then to add on top of that. Also, it's going to sound slightly weird. It's like, oh, it's really hard. Yeah, absolutely. So we've done like a lot of different formats or tried to get like creative with it. And I know that we're still having fun doing it.

It's something fun to like work on. But it's also yes, it's pretty hard in. Yeah. Over the Internet. Do you guys think we'll ever do improv on stage again yes yes will i i don't know i think maybe in the back end of 2021 i think we're gonna be able to do shows and. Do you know how insane that will be when like everyone's able to do everything again? Well, here's okay. So at my pole studio, because they rent out space, it's Luscious Mavens in North Hollywood

if you're in LA, rent out space. But Heather, the woman who owns it, we were talking and she was like, well, right after the, I think they call it the Spanish flu. I call it the great flu because I don't know why it's Spanish. Anyway, after the great flu was the roaring 20s. So I think. Wow. And we're in the 20s. Oh, God. And I think people will be like cooped up for so long. And it's it's hard to like perform on the Internet. Yeah. So I think there's going to just be like an explosion of art. And I'm really here for it and excited.

That's actually really exciting. That makes me feel here for it and excited. That's actually really exciting. That makes me feel hopeful. Yeah, that's great. Well, I've been trying to be positive. I love it. If you stay negative, then you get grouchy and that's no fun. Also, I got ADD. So, you know, when you focus on happy things,

you just bop around from happy shit to happy shit. I love that. I think that's amazing. And yeah, I'm with you. I think there's amazing and yeah i'm i'm with you i think i i think there's like a very very high probability that we'll see like many good takeaways um yeah and they might take a bit they might not all come right away it might be like in 10 years we go wait a second i think like this thing is actually a takeaway from that there's gonna be so many friggin books about it oh my god there's already a movie about it.

Have you seen it? I think it's, he's a big explosion then. What's his name? Michael Bay. Yes. I can't believe you got that. But yeah,

I think he's already done a movie. It's like COVID it's 10 years later and the lockdowns have forced people like underground and you get like arrested. I'm like, why didn't we make this movie first? Nobody yeah i don't want no you know what i hate is how like every show i'm watching is is now having the pandemic happen like all the reality shows yes i know but even even this is us which i watch and i they now are wearing masks I'm like no wait no you can exist in fake time please be in fake time that's yeah I don't want that I know I fell off of the first season of

this is us I like the first season and then I was just like I get it it's warm and gooey oh yeah well I just put this in my story the other night but i was watching it and the like justin hartley the brother or whatever he's like he said this line because i mean the lines on the show are it's very dramatic it's it's a drama but he goes he goes like madison i'm an alcoholic and a workout addict with daddy issues and i was, you're all of them. It just was great. And he was saying that to his impregnated girlfriend who's about to have, who's pregnant with twins,

who said, who just confessed to him that she's has an eating disorder. And he's like, I count calories. And I, and I stress about now I work out twice. One, once at home and once at the gym for different reasons, for lots of reasons.

I'm an alcoholic. I'm a workout addict with daddy issues. And I was like, shit, that's a lot of issues. And then he's got a fat twin. Right. The twins, right? Yeah. Yeah. We're in the pilot. She cried and she said, tell me not to eat the donuts. And that's when I was like, you know, I don't know if I can watch very much of this. The pilot, though, blew my mind. Like I have to say. It was a good pilot. Like it had a great twist and I loved it.

So that really hooked me. And then, you know, I just I like to just get hooked on something and watch it for years and years just for fun. You know who has twists? Lord of the Rings. What? That was a terrible segue because one of the rings has zero twists you're just like okay they're gonna walk and i'm sure something should happen and it does yeah yeah not a ton not a ton of twists i mean maybe you don't know that strider is actually going to

become the king of gondor but i don't know of this. Look, as much as we should be reacting, we aren't able to. He has, like, another Aragorn, Viggo Mortensen. Okay. Also, it's a twist that he has two names. Now, do you feel like you... I mean, I feel like Lord of the Rings memes

pop up a lot. Do you feel like you understand them most of the time when you see them? I don't know how good my meme fluency is in general, but yeah, I feel like probably I'd get them. Yeah. I didn't do any pre-perusal. Oh, no, that's great. When we come back, we're going to take a quick break.

And when we come back, we will jump into some memes. We'll see if we get them. No pressure for anyone. And I'll be right back. If you're wondering what a Nord VPN is, I'll tell you. VPN stands for Virtual Private Network, a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy.

A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. I'm using a Nord VPN myself. And honestly, it's very easy to use. You connect with one click to enable auto-connect for zero-click protection. It has amazing speed. Nord VPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there and it supports every major platform,

Windows, Android, iOS, Linux, even Android TV. You can switch your virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive Nord VPN deal here at NordVPN.com slash newcomers. N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk free with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. Link is in the episode description. And we're back. And it's meme time. I wonder if the meme that I understood recently will be on here.

So it was just like a picture of Lord of the Rings. And it was like, ah, shit. What was it? Oh, it was like, who directed Lord of the Rings? What's his name? Peter Jackson. Did Peter Jackson direct this pandemic, which I thought was very funny. And I retweeted it and I was like, I get it.

And it's only because I saw Lord of the Rings. And then I misspelled the acronym. Then I was just so embarrassed. But I just wanted to say that I get memes. I get them. I get memes too. Yeah, that seemed like you get memes. Also, let us edit tweets.

Come on. Right? Wouldn't that be nice? Well, see, I really want to be able to edit tweets, but I also think people would use it for evil like instantly. And it would just like they would say one thing, let it get retweeted a lot, change to say something else, you know, that kind of thing.

It feels like it'd be bad. I didn't even think about that. Well, I'm evil. So I immediately just think of these, the ways it could go. You're not evil. You're wearing, I think, overalls? I'm wearing a dress that's like fucking bunched up in this zoom but um okay wait i because my first thought was trump would edit tweets and make them you know he would write something and edit it and it would just be

bad maybe but his tweets right now i i'm i'm almost gonna block him i think because i'm like it's a while i don't need to know what's being said and they're they make no sense yeah it's like one of those it's like a friend where you're like i think you're crying out for help but like you can just like reach out to me in a text or something like yeah i have no friends you could text yeah it's like yeah watching someone's instagram stories and going i think they might be sad. Yeah. Like, text Baron. Maybe he can help you. Where is Baron? He's so tall. He's so tall. We haven't heard about him in months. I know.

And he's the tallest person in America. So I'm like, where is he at? How tall is he? He's so tall, Lauren. I don't think he's as tall. He's so tall. I think he's like 6'2 already. I mean, and he was a... No. Yeah, he's tall. He's very tall. I think he's like 6'2 already. I mean, and he was a... No, no. Yeah, he's tall. He's very tall.

No, this is insane. I swear the last time I saw him, he was small. Yeah, that's what we all... That's how we all feel. They took him away. They started hiding him. And then he grew in his own personal quarantine before quarantine began.

I am stunned looking at these photos. I told you he's the tallest person in America. He was 10. Now he will have. I told you he's the tallest person in America. He was 10. Now he will have any sense. Now he's 14. Oh, he's only 14 and he's that big. Oh boy.

He's just going to get taller. He's not done. He's not done growing. He's not done. I'm so scared about everything connected to these images. These images. Oh, he is it says baron trump's height soars over six

foot three inches tall donald he's more than six three yeah he lord i'm telling you he's literally the tallest little boy in america currently this has i completely missed the storyline tallest little boy they literally kept him hidden now he's huge and i'm i'm i'm thrown off and now i see him in a shirt that says the expert which is kind of hilarious he's walking with melania and donald his shirt says the expert i mean between those three probably yeah also i just saw a funny meme where it was like they like listed all the things that michelle had done saw a funny meme where it was like they like listed all the things that michelle had done as first lady and then it was like malania literally did nothing she came out was like be best and then like went back to sleep i know it's what a what interesting

administration it's fascinating i mean what his what is his experience because i did see these pictures the other day um which i had seen before, but of when the Bushes were introducing the Obamas, you know, and bringing them into the house and showing the kids around and they were showing them this cool slide you could go down that was like a banister and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what is Barron's experience in there? Like, has he done anything fun?

Has he seen anything cool? Has it been special? Well, I'm sure he has like anything he ever wants. But yeah. But Baron, I think, has been living in New York. I don't think he's lived in the White House at all. I think maybe he's like visited Daddy's weekend house. And it's like as big and as white.

And I'm taller than it. Yeah, you're probably right. Oh my God, I'm blown away. Okay, well. These images is probably my favorite. I'm blown away. OK, well, these images is probably my favorite. Exclaim anyone's these images. They're very shocking. I just have to I'll I'll go down a rabbit hole with that later. OK, well, let's jump into some Lord of the Rings memes and parodies.

So if we want to all open our little document here, and parodies so if we want to all open our little document here um these are some visual memes from the lord of the rings meme subreddit r slash lotr memes um so this first one is by the last dire wolf 420 um so it's a picture of elijah wood as frodo and over the picture says it's So it's a picture of Elijah Wood as Frodo and over the picture says it's over. It's done. And then this is Canadians, Europeans and the rest of the world after the American election is over and we don't have to see vote anymore. Hey, Americans

feel that way too. We don't want to keep talking about voting. I don't want to fucking talk about it, but they make it so inaccessibly hard for people to vote that you have to remind people to make sure they're still registered. This meme attacked us. I don't like it. This meme offends me and I am sad now.

Yeah, I don't like it because it also implies, you know, Frodo's the hero who carries this burden. And I resent the idea that they think they've carried more of this burden than we. Yeah, it's because they had to see us say vote. They can be Sam-wise if they want. They can be in it with us because everyone's affected by what our administration does, but they are not the Frodo. You know, they are not.

No, I agree with you. Okay, let's see the next one. Now, this one is a picture of, how do I describe this? It's a businessman with no head, and in place of his head head it's the Warner Brothers logo and then there's another man thoughtfully listening to him

and the Warner Brothers man is putting his hands towards the Hobbit, the book, I think. And it says, Warner Brothers slaps a 300-page book.

This bad boy can be adapted into an entire fucking trilogy. Okay, that was posted by SahandKing92. Gotta give credit This bad boy can be adapted into an entire fucking trilogy. Okay. That was posted by Sahand King 92. Got to give credit where it's due. This one I think sucks.

It's making the very fresh hot take that big studios are out to make money on movies. Yeah. And that's something I've never thought about. And that's not true. I think it bothers me because it's so literal. It's like, yes, Warner Brothers did say

we'll make this into a trilogy. Like there was, there's nothing like ironic or like crazy about this take. And yes, I understand. It's a short 300 page book. Yeah. Okay.

Absolutely. It's also not the first time this has happened. You know, like we split the fourth hundred hunger games we split the fourth right uh twilight we split you know it's like we get it they do it to make money and it feels like it's halfway done like you need like like he's going this bad boy can be adapted to entire fucking trilogy and then someone else goes and this movie should be one minute long and it's like a thousand page book or something i don't know like it feels like there should be something happening after that yes yeah so it should be like maybe infinite jest should be like

yes we liked each other. Yes, quibby tic-tac. A quibby tic-tac. That's a quibby tic-tac. A quib-tac. Jess, do you want to do the next one? Sure. Okay, so this is made by Kino Fabino, and it's a group of revelers. It's like some youths, and they're looking at the camera like,

why are you taking a picture? And they're all holding red cups. And behind them is a picture of the king of Rohan. And it says on the top, are you seriously on your phone while King Theridan, son of Thengol, mourns the death of his son? I like this one a little more. I don't know if I set that up great. No, it's hard to read a meme, but I think it works for me because I was on my phone while he did that. Oh, now I get this

meme. They're talking to me, the viewer, who can't concentrate on this movie. Yeah, and they're all giving you kind of side eye like are you serious the king is mourning the death of his son and it's really sad and if this moment's not getting you none of this is for you i mean they're right they're right i like that guy though that king of rohan the writers of rohan stuff. Is he the one who like went wild and like fell off the balcony? No, that's the steward of Gondor.

So this guy is the better guy. He's the one who was kind of in a trance because that snaky guy, it's in the second one. The snaky guy's got his ear and he's like telling him lies about control. And he like literally looks like he's covered. His eyes look like they have cataracts and stuff. And then his niece is like, uncle, you are not right. You got to stop listening to this guy.

And then he comes out of it, shaves into his good goatee and is like, it doesn't matter if we're going to lose. The riders of Rohan will defend Helm's Deep. And that's the name of that really good battle of Helm's Deep, where they ride even though they're outnumbered. Wow. I don't. You truly made that make sense.

And I kind of wish you were just like sitting next to my TV. So when I went, what? You would just be like, hey, listen, this is what happened. I like that guy. OK, the next one. It's on you.

Yes. It's by Isaac Pasaic. So it says he be descending and then uh it says me steps into the shower that one bottle of shampoo and then the picture is okay so you have to click the gif oh oh it's um the man who spun gandhi to the moon he oh he fell off a building? When did that happen? I feel like I remember that when he flipped around and around. But this is one of the most annoying things

about Lord of the Rings. Saruman. Saruman, not, yeah. He falls to his death. Oh, it's from the extended versions where you see his death and it's really brutal. That's so funny.

Lauren, you're like, I remember it. Oh, maybe you watched the extended version. No chance. But what I love is that when you do reference something, I go, I have no idea. And then when I see something I haven't seen, I'm like, I've seen that. So it's just proof that my brain doesn't work. No, it's, I think it's just, I, okay. So Lauren and I were on a meeting earlier with another woman named Nicole and Nicole was asked a question it was not for me but I nodded my head and then I was like and I realized I was

nodding my head and I was like you you can't do that like you you have to just remember that they're not talking to you for most of this yes yes I didn't know if you clocked it but I was like oh boy this is no what I actually did think was Nicole's doing a really good job of not responding every time they say Nicole, because I was thinking how confusing it was. They're like, Nicole, do you have any thoughts about, and I'm going, does she have thoughts about that? That's what I was saying. I was like, do I have a thought? And then she would start talking and be like, oh yes, thank God. The person who's supposed to have a thought about that is having the thought like that.

Yes. It was a little stressful. For my purposes, I'm going to imagine that this Nicole is like an actuary or something. Or she's like, yep. And I have tabulated the risk of how often people in hang gliding accidents fall into a tree that's actually endangered. And it becomes an environmental crisis. Okay. and it becomes an environmental crisis. Okay, the next one is Eric Gorn's DMs during the Battle of Helm's Deep.

This was submitted by Henry Trill and it says, okay, so there's a bunch of text messages. Now these aren't DMs, these are texts, right? Like, okay, Theoden says, dude, we're we're so fucked arwen says we need to talk eowyn says you have 53 missed calls from this number that's not how texts work gimley says just saw pointy ear writing an eric shield down the stairs what a poser and gandalf says here lol i like this okay it's it's thinker. So it's basically Aragorn is receiving, this is his relationship with all of these people

and how, so it's very deep, I think. Yeah, it's Helm's deep, some would say. Sorry, I'll leave, I'll leave, I'll leave. No, we needed that. And yeah, like this is the battle I was just talking about. So Theoden at the top is that king this is in his before moment this is before he gets all scrubbed up his tiny little circle picture here so yeah it's looking so bad so he's like dude we're fucked and then live tyler's

like i want to be with you and then that other the niece of the rohan king is like really wants to be there gone aragon aragon aragon Argon, Argon, however you say. And and then Gimli obviously only cares about what him and Legolas are doing. Mm hmm. And then Gandalf, he's the one who comes in late and then the battle's no big deal. Here, LOL. OK. All right.

I wasn't sure about the Gandalf part. I was like, why is Gandhi saying LOL? But that makes sense. He's just it's because he's always just showing up and he's like, why is Gandhi saying LOL? But that makes sense. He's a trickster. He's just... Because he's always just showing up and he's like, I'm here. He's smoking that wacky weed and having a good time making fireworks. Alright, so the next

thing we're going to do is do some watch-along video content. Okay, so Recap Raps is a music comedy series where they summarize pop culture movies and TV shows into short, delectable rap songs. So here is a recap of the entire Peter Jackson

Lord of the Rings movie franchise. And if you want to follow along on YouTube, the video is called Lord of the Rings Trilogy Recap Rap hosted, posted by The Warp Zone. All right. Three, two, one. Yo, this is Recap Rap.

Get your bros together because we're about to do the Lord of the Rings trilogy right now. Get ready. Three, two, one. It's funny that it's like a fun little rap, but I'm still like ugh. And of course Sean Bean goes and gets himself killed Power Trio leaves to throw down Frodo saves Sam so he won't drown That's what these movies are all about Just a bunch of bros just bro-ing out Lord of the Rings It is all about bros, huffing bros Tell your bros, come and sing They will not be opposed to your rules

The fellowship is hella broke Frodo and Sam on a lonely road Until they meet a new bro with a split perspective He wants the help when he wants the precious March through the forest and a flash of light Is it Saruman? No, it's freaking Gandalf the White This is reminding me of Cliff's Notes or something. If I had to do a test about this a bit, I should memorize that rap.

I definitely would have written this as some sort of project in high school to get around doing actual work. And it's three minutes long. Gotta say. Too long. Look, the video could be one minute, you know? Rap a little faster. Absolutely. Just increase the BPM.

Feet per minute? Yep. And we don't need this sung chorus. You know, we get it. You're right. This is like the sort of lonely island part they're trying to do with the like, the bros helping bros. Let's sing that part. And I love that it's like girls are welcome too

and then they only show two women because there's only two women in the original trilogy so women aren't welcome where are they

where are they at where are they at I think that spider's technically a girl we have been told that that is yeah you're not the first person to say that.

That's very funny. I don't think it's helpful for anything. That's the thing. I feel like people know that because there are no women. But the spider's a woman. The spider's not a woman, okay? That doesn't count. Also, she still doesn't speak and she doesn't time it

Yeah it's like if there was like a movie like an action movie with no women and they're like but the dog's a girl The dog's a girl I mean I'm sure somebody has said that about some action movie Fast and Furious has that one girl it has the dog

the car is technically female all boats are women let's just say it all boats are women cars are men trains are men airplanes are women this is all just stuff we understand

this is all stuff we understand oh my gosh I like how we truly gave up watching that and just started talking we get it I like how we truly gave up watching that and just started talking. We get it. That was cute. Good job.

It was cute. Yeah. Good job, everyone. Good job. Okay, so this next clip is called They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard. Yes, I believe that's how you say it. On August 18, 2005, artist Erwin Biekveld submitted a video titled They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard to the Flash website Albino Black Sheep. The video featured scenes from the second Lord of the Rings film accompanied by a music track made from the line They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard uttered by the character Legolas played by Orlando Bloom.

If you want to follow along on YouTube, the video is called They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard HQ, posted by Erwin Biegfeld. Okay, three, two, one, go. Wow. This was not at all what I was expecting. This is funny. Nicole, this should be your new text tone. I wouldn't mind it. It's very funny.

This would be a great thing to wake up to also. Uh-huh. This is my favorite thing I've seen today. This is fun. Tell me where is Gandalf? What I much desire to speak with him. Tell me where is Gandalf? What I much desire to speak with him. About the work of Morgoth. What he shall.

About the work of Morgoth. What he shall. Now taking the hobbits to Isengard. It's cold. Now taking the hobbits to Isengard. It's cold. Now taking the hobbits to Isengard. Wow. Wow. Oh. Whoa.

Still going on the reverb. That made me really sad at the end. Yeah. What a turn. That felt like a song that would play in a discotheque in Europe. Yes. And I like it very much. That was great.

Okay. very much. That was great. Okay, so this next one is Orlando Bloom spoofing himself in that video. What a fun guy. He's funny.

You know, he's married to Katy Perry. He's like, he gotta be fun. And they got a little baby, right? They do. I find that relationship very interesting.

Yeah. Same. So, okay. Apparently the cast and crew became aware of the Isengard song we just heard because they had Orlando Bloom perform it on his last day of shooting. Originally posted by Peter Jackson, the description reads

a day after saying goodbye to Gandalf and Toriel it was time to farewell Legolas. What a great day it was with Orlando battling a serious orc for all 12 hours of shooting, part of the Battle of the Five Armies for the third Hobbit movie. When we finally got the day done, we said goodbye to Orlando, had a couple of beers and couldn't resist doing this. Now, if you want to follow along on YouTube, it's called They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard by Orlando Bloom. Goodbye, Orlando. Posted by New Tolkis. OK, three, two, one, go. To Isengard, to Isengard, to Isengard To Isengard, to Isengard, to Isengard

The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits To Isengard, to Isengard, to Isengard The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits. To Isengard, to Isengard, to Isengard. While he was doing it, I was concerned that he wasn't sure what he was doing. Yeah. It was very helpful for me to know that they had had a few beers. That helped me as well. And it also helped me to know that he had just a few beers. That helped me as well and it also helped me to know that he had just

shot a 12 hour fight scene because he was a little loopy and... That's what I mean but he didn't know what he was saying. Yeah. It was definitely a little bit weird. Well that was really fun. Yeah. I think that's a nice way to end our presentation of memes.

I think so, too. Oh, my gosh. What a great time. Jessica, do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah, I'd love for people to check out Off Book, the improvised musical podcast. And you can give me a follow on Instagram at Jess Jess McKenna. Don't waste your time on Twitter.

Love the honesty. My feed has basically got like tumbleweeds rolling through. So, you know, don't worry about it. I really want people to take Twitter away from all of us. Yeah. Yeah, Twitter is bad. But also I find such good memes on Twitter. I can't stop looking. I just want it taken away.

I just need it gone. Lauren, do you have anything you want to plug? You know, not really. I mean, I'll plug Threedom. We're back for free wherever you get your podcasts. And my Patreon, as I've said on every episode of this. And other than that, you know, I guess wear a mask. I'd like to be able to do stuff someday.

That's my main thing. A great plug. Yeah, I think I'll plug wear a mask. And if you have any friends who are like, the masks impede my breathing, show them. Go to my Instagram. I'm pole dancing wearing a mask. And if I can do it for an hour and a half,

tell your stupid fucking friends they can wear it for 20 minutes going to the fucking grocery store thank you uh yeah because i'm fat as fuck and if i truly if i can exercise wearing it and i've done it numerous times people can do it uh and then i guess i'll promote uh i think it's called fair fight to help the georgia election stacy abrams is doing some incredible work and has been for years. And she's like really smart. And I did this like fundraiser where we improvised off stories she told. And it was almost like hard to do it because you're like, these are such good stories. I just want to leave them like this. I don't want to break them apart and make fun. But yeah, it's you know, I don't

want to talk about voting anymore, but it's still happening. I know. It's kind of crazy. It's still going on. Yeah, it's wild. And then sometimes they'll be like, Trump did win Alaska. And we're like, we're done with that. Yeah, yeah. That part's definitely. Let's move on.

That's hilarious. I'm honestly going to go spend my whole night looking at any picture I can find of Barron because I'm absolutely confused. These images. It is wild, right? Can I put out a call to action to your listeners and fans to make a they're taking the hobbits to Isengard style song where it's Lauren just saying these images.

Yes. Yes. I would love that. I want it. I want that very, very much. These images. And then both of you explaining that he's tall. America's tallest boy.

Someone, please. Someone do this. And then for our Battle of the Five Stars segment, this is where we read your five-star reviews. So leave a review on your favorite podcast platform for a chance to have it read on air. This one comes from Chris the Architect on Apple Podcasts, and it's called A Genre Lover Who Loves the Podcast. It's hysterical to hear them try to figure out storylines I've grown up with. I've even learned some new things from their guests and trivia sessions.

I would recommend this show to anyone from newbie to the franchise to a veteran who doesn't take it too seriously. Well, thank you, Chris. Yeah, that was nice. And a very honest way to recommend it to either someone who has no idea what's going on or someone who doesn't take it too seriously. We don't want anyone here who takes it too seriously. I wonder if Chris is single. He's an architect. Sounds successful.

He likes you. You're halfway there. Chris, let us know. Well, this was a fun little detour. And next week, we'll be back in the thick of things with the popular 2014 video game Shadow of Mordor.

And we'll be joined by Troy Baker, the actor who voiced the main protagonist of the game. Real quick before we say bye bye Lauren I started watching this almost two hour movie of this video game and I'll tell you something you're not going to be happy. Oh no.

Oh no. A movie of a video game? Yeah you're not going to be happy. Okay. Well I can't wait. I should start soon. Yeah, you're not going to be happy. Okay. Well, I can't wait. I should start soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, truly. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye. That was a HGum Original.