Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Star Wars Ep. I - The Phantom Menace (w/ Nick Wiger)
Episode Date: February 25, 2020In a shocking turn of events, Nicole and Lauren are now Star Wars heads? Phantom Menace stan Nick Wiger (Doughboys, How Did This Get Played) joins them to recounts the historical hype for Ep.... I, Liam Neeson's rumored huge dick, lightsaber continuity between trilogies, and their love/hate for the new CG look of the series. Plus, the girls rank the all Star Wars films they've seen so far.Be sure to check out Nick's other Headgum podcast - Doughboys.Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and write in the review what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover.Sources for this episode:The Phantom Menace WookieepediaRoger Ebert ReviewRolling Stone ReviewThe Phantom Menace Production FactsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force.
You believe it's this boy?
He can see things before they happen.
He can help you.
The Force is unusually strong with him.
He was meant to help you.
Anakin!
Come on, take off!
Will I ever see you again?
What does your heart tell you?
Are you sure about this?
Trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know?
Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I sense much fear in you.
The boy is dangerous.
They all sense it, why can't you?
Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering. oh boy oh my god it's another episode Oh, boy.
Oh, my God.
It's another episode.
Another episode where we watch Star Wars.
It's me, Nicole Byer.
And Lauren Lapkus.
This is Newcomers.
We've never seen Star Wars.
Nope.
And we're doing it. That's not true anymore.
No, we've seen it.
We've seen four of the movies at this point,
and we have a lot to say about them.
We watched The Phantom Menace.
I have to tell you, yesterday I was in the car with a couple friends,
and I was talking about how we're doing this podcast
and how we've had some ups and downs with liking things and not liking things.
And then I was talking about this movie, and I was like,
look, these are all my problems with it,
because it's not as good as the first one,
and the first one I didn't even like.
And then I talked for three minutes straight without stopping, I was like, look, these are all my problems with it because it's not as good as the first one. And the first one I didn't even like.
And then it was like, I talked for like three minutes straight without stopping and then no one responded.
And then everyone was like, what the fuck has happened to you?
So I'm now a Star Wars head.
I also had the same interaction with my roommate
where we were arguing about Star Wars.
And I don't really know about this universe.
He knows way more than me.
But I was like, John, no, this is like,
this morning I was like, Anakin's Jesus.
He ain't got a daddy.
Wow.
And John was like, all right, leave the house.
Go about your day.
I was like, you don't like that revelation?
You don't want to really like riff on it a little bit?
He's like, no.
Oh my God, we're obsessed.
Oh boy.
This is a shocking turn, honestly.
It really is.
So we watched The Phantom Menace and we have a guest.
Oh boy.
We have Nick Weiger.
He's the host of Doughboys and How Did This Get Played?
Two fantastic podcasts.
And you are a rare Phantom Menace super fan.
I am.
Look, The Phantom Menace is not a good movie, but it is one of my favorite movies.
Wow. I know that it is one of my favorite movies. Wow.
I know that it is objectively bad.
It has a lot of issues,
but I have a huge smile on my face when I'm watching it.
Did you watch it in theaters on May 19th, 1999?
Oh, I was in line on May 18th, 1999.
Were you really?
Left over?
So did everyone do that at the time?
Because that's 10 years between the movies
or more? It was more than that.
It was closer to 20 years.
I think Return of the Jedi came out in 1983
and people just thought that was going to be the
final Star Wars.
When George Lucas announced that Phantom Menace was coming
out, the hype was unreal.
I went to see multiple bad movies just to
see the new Star Wars trailer
because that was before things were like always on, were online, you know.
So I saw, I saw.
That was dedication to try to see a trailer.
Yeah.
No, I saw The Siege, a Bruce Willis terrorism movie, like, but pre 9-11.
So it like had a very different idea of global terrorism.
And so I watched all of that.
And then they did an insidious thing where they showed the trailer at the end of the
movie because they knew people were coming just for the trailer.
Oh my God.
That's so rude.
And did you know they were going to or were you like, oh, I guess they're not showing
it.
And then you just stuck around and then they started playing it.
No, we knew.
Like everyone knew going into that was the deal.
And then I also saw Wing Commander, which is the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater.
And that was just to see an updated version of the episode one trailer. I've never even heard of Wing Commander, which is the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater, and that was just to see an updated version of the episode one trailer.
I've never even heard of Wing Commander.
Oh, it's an adaptation of a video game, and it's really poorly made.
It's like if they tried to make Star Wars, but didn't have a script or a budget.
So it's so cheap looking, and it sucks.
Well, the budget for this was $115 million.
Wowie zowie.
That's crazy.
Okay, yeah, it was 16 years after the previous movie.
Yeah, so I guess people must have been freaking out.
We're losing our minds.
Did you watch, like, do you remember the hype that existed?
I do.
I remember this one coming out because I remember it being a big deal
and I remember everyone being upset
about Jar Jar Binks.
Yes.
Yes, that I remember.
Gotta say, I like Jar Jar.
Look, I couldn't believe Jar Jar.
He was so annoying
and a literal cartoon.
Right.
It was so dumb,
I couldn't believe it.
But I have to say,
one of my big
problems with this movie
and what I was ranting
about yesterday
is that
it doesn't feel like
they care
that this is supposed
to come before
episode 4
like
there are jokes
that are so current
there are like
ridiculous cartoon images
that are just
I mean
not even trying
to look real
Yoda
I was pissed about how Yoda looked.
I didn't like how Yoda looked at all.
Oh, my God.
That really bummed me out.
I was so mad about Yoda.
I was like, we have grown to love this figure.
If that cartoon died right now, I'd feel nothing.
Yeah, you'd be like, whatever.
If the puppet died, I was like, no.
So I believe that he was still puppeted in episode one and became CG only in episode two and beyond.
I could be wrong.
That was weird.
He looked like a cartoon to me.
Yeah.
I'm going to find out about that.
It is a different, like they de-aged him a little bit, whatever it is, which is weird because he's been alive for hundreds of years.
So you would think that the 20-year difference wouldn't make a huge effect his appearance hugely.
The difference wouldn't make a huge effect as appearance hugely.
But the hype for this movie was insane.
And then the palpable disappointment that followed for a lot of fans was also it was a real roller coaster ride because I saw it opening day three times in a row.
And then and I loved it at first.
And then I saw it again a week later in a row.
Yeah. Three times in a row.
And then I saw it again a week later. Three in a row? Yeah, three times in a row. And then I saw it again a week later.
So this is your fourth viewing?
My fourth viewing.
And that was the point where it started to lose me.
And I was kind of in the wilderness
on episode one for a while.
Didn't like episode two,
didn't even see episode three at the time.
And then some more time passed
and I returned to it with an open mind.
And I was like, you know what?
These movies are great.
And I love them again.
Yeah.
So, but the, it's not just Jar Jar was the
huge thing but also the immaculate
conception that you mentioned and I imagine we'll talk about
this in sequence and then the
midichlorians the concept of midichlorians
those three elements kind of
like really the first one was just people
were just annoyed by him and thought he was
unfunny but the other two were this
undercuts the coolness of the Force.
Wait, what is the midichlorians?
I'm looking at my sheet.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Midichlorians is the...
I'm like...
Midichlorians is the point where...
So he talks about how there's no father for Anakin Skywalker.
And then so they test his blood.
I don't remember that sequence.
Sends it up to Obi-Wan. His midichlorians level is
off the charts. It's like 20,000 above even Yoda's. And then
he has a scene where he explains what midichlorians are to
Anakin. And it is basically like the force is like this cool mystical energy
that exists. And then it becomes like, well, there's these little
bugs inside your cells and that's why
you have the force and it's just like well that's less fun
it's cooler to leave it unanswered
I agree about Yoda
really quickly you were right so the
guy who was the puppeteer was pretty upset
with this I think they built a puppet for episode
one but made the mistake of
trying to update Yoda they re-sculptured him and
made him out of a different material which was heavier
then because he was transparent
instead of opaque,
it meant light didn't hit him the same way
so his color wasn't the same.
So, eventually, it looked like a cartoon.
Ah, okay, yes.
Because it did look just very different.
Yeah.
There wasn't as much depth to his face.
Yes.
And you couldn't really see his expressions as much,
which bummed me out.
Yeah, I agree.
I actually really care about the Force now.
Right.
I think it's a powerful tool that i
could imagine someone holding on to in a dark time in their life right so yeah that's interesting
i feel like i have a new i have a new brain i don't know what's going on with me
it's very weird okay so the opening uh homework that you got to do to read was a little clunky.
It was a lot.
So there's a trade war.
Yes.
And then galactic senates.
And that was a lot for me.
I agree.
The opening, I was bored from the scrawl, scroll, whatever you call it.
But then we meet Kui.
I don't know.
How do we say his name?
Let's talk about,
oh wait, which one?
Kwee John Jin.
Qui-Gon Jin.
This is Liam Neeson's character.
Yes.
I didn't know Liam Neeson
was in the movie.
I thought they looked hilarious
in this movie.
He's the protagonist
of this movie
which you maybe after,
you maybe forget
if some time passes
between viewings.
And then he dies.
It's all about him.
He dies, yeah.
I cared about him
and then they kill him.
So yeah,
we'll just get rid of any old person.
Yeah.
I think maybe that if there's a flaw about this movie,
and I think this kind of speaks to what you were saying earlier,
Lapkus about like it,
it exists as if the previous movies exist instead of being like,
this is what happened before.
It doesn't,
it doesn't really live in it chronologically as it should.
It kind of like has a lot of winky stuff.
But I think overall just like this movie doesn't need to exist.
There's nothing that's being told here.
Like what happens?
They go to a planet.
They find a small boy.
He wins a race.
They go back to their planet.
They go back to their home planet.
That's pretty much it.
The race is insane by the way.
I mean I think you liked it, right?
I liked it. But George Lucas insane, by the way. I mean, I think you liked it, right?
I liked it,
but George Lucas has a thing about real time.
At one point, they said,
Anakin has two more laps,
and then we see him do two more laps.
I like it. I love the Padre sequence.
It's one of my favorite parts of the movie.
I hated the announcers.
Yeah, they were real corny.
What I kept picturing was,
imagine if they had taken the time
to create practical sets in the same way they and like and costumes and all the things with no cgi
that you have in the first movie how but like updated to the abilities of 1999 or whatever
that would be the coolest thing yes and then it's like oh this happened right before that one
i would really love that i think getting too swept up in the technological advances is like a real misstep.
Well, that's why it took so long to get made.
Because he was waiting and he was like, ah, now the special effects have arrived to where I deem it okay to be in my movie.
Which I think is an insane logic.
I have to say Roger Ebert also loved this one. Biggest
George Lucas fan. An astonishing achievement
in imaginative filmmaking, Lucas tells
a good story. I mean, wow.
I remember his review, and
I loved Roger Ebert,
and I remember that was like a thing
that when I liked the movie, like, reaffirmed me.
I was like, yes, I'm right. See, Roger Ebert
likes it. But one thing he talked about that
sticks with me, and I think sticks with you on future viewings,
if you ever rewatch this thing for whatever reason,
you're shaking your head.
Okay, you're not going to rewatch it.
There's no way.
There's no way.
The movies are too long.
No, yeah.
They're so long.
I was watching it all day.
Yeah, it's long.
I mean, wow.
But he does talk about how, like,
every frame is packed with something interesting.
And so you see, like, there's just shots where it's just like, oh, here are the tall flags walk across the pod racing platform.
And you just sort of see there's just little droids running around.
There's a little weird alien over here.
There's a spaceship flying by.
Just every frame is packed with some little detail.
I liked when Jar Jar went underwater.
I also liked when Jar Jar.
I liked a lot of Jar Jar.
I thought he was great.
Jar Jar was pretty funny.
You know who did not like this movie?
The New Yorker.
The Phantom Menace is at once
childishly unknowing and rotten with cynicism.
I would call it the disappointment of the decade,
except that along with many other people,
I had a sneaking fear that it would turn out this way.
What is this? Crap, say it out loud, crap. And a sneaking fear that it would turn out this way. What is this?
Crap.
Say it out loud.
Crap.
And will it make the magic billion dollars?
You bet.
Wow.
I remember standing in line, waiting for Phantom Menace, and another guy near me in line had gotten a newspaper that had a review of it.
It might have been the New York Times.
It might have been USA Today.
It doesn't matter.
But it was a negative review or a mildly negative review, like a two-star review and the guy was just like it's bullshit like he was
like he's like already doubting that this Star Wars could possibly be bad I love it so um you
mentioned Jar Jar Binks do you know the saga of Ahmed Best the actor who played him no so he
basically and and we're seeing he was in Stomp he was in Stomp yeah he's he's like still running in
uh in New York by the way which I'm like amazed by he's got a ton of you know he's in Stomp. He was in Stomp, yeah. He's still running in New York, by the way, which I'm amazed by.
He's got a ton of, you know, he's had an esteemed career,
but I think he's been in the kind of thing where the Jar Jar Binks,
the specter of that character because it was so hated,
haunts him in the same way as the, I'm forgetting the actor's name,
but the actor who played Rose Tico in the most recent movie,
she's had the same sort of thing where people are just treating her like shit because they don't like the character.
Same thing happened with Ahmed Best and Jake Lloyd as well, the little boy who plays Anakin.
He has a very dark journey.
He had a dark sort of history.
Well, it says he retired from acting because of peer bullying he received after playing Anakin along with the critical panning of his role.
Yeah.
He did do the voice in the Star Wars video games, but that's devastating.
Isn't that awful? He got a role of a lifetime in a Star Wars movie as a child, having no fucking clue what is going on, basically.
Right.
And does his best, and then he has to retire because people don't like it.
He's like six.
It's really sad.
He's very young.
I don't think he's great in the movie, but I don't think that's on him.
He's not the person who made the decision to put himself in the movie.
I thought he was great.
He's fine.
Yeah.
He's a little kid.
Yeah.
I mean, look, do I wish it was Haley Jo Osmond?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think if there's an issue with Jake Lloyd's performance, it's that we don't see the darkness
within him.
He just seems like a whimsical child.
Wholesome kid.
He's so wholesome.
Yeah.
He's adorable.
He looks like he's on Leave it to Beaver.
He's adorable. And I like his haircut.
I really, I liked him.
It was hard for me to keep remembering that he was
Darth Vader. Correct. I kept
having to rewrite that in my head because
I thought it was Luke. I don't know.
And I feel like they wrote lines to be like,
remember he's gonna be bad. Right.
He was like, I miss my mommy. And they were like,
well, feelings, that could make you turn to the dark. Right. He was like, I miss my mommy. And they're like, well, feelings that could make you turn to the dark side.
And I was like, what?
Okay.
Can we talk about Natalie Portman?
Yes.
Okay.
The Queen Amidala, right?
Yes.
Her voice is altered in the movie.
Why?
That's what it was.
I was like, these are some deadpan line reads.
Oh, my God.
I know.
Just dead.
I think they changed it
like it's deeper so what I remember reading at the time is that they used like Lucas was so
obsessed with what he could do with digital editing and VFX that he was taking line reads
from different takes and then change altering the lip sync on ones that looked better visually and
so like he was like a lot of it I think was, was just to try to Frankenstein a bunch of elements together.
And so a lot of it feels unnatural.
I will say that one thing that disappointed me about the marketing of this movie is they
just told you Natalie Portman is Queen Amidala.
But the way the story is structured, it's like you don't realize that she's...
It's meant to be that it's a misdirect where you don't realize that she's it's it's meant to be that
you it's a misdirect where you think she's Padme right assistant and then she reveals that I'm
actually the queen this is my decoy but you just knew that going and you knew this huge spoiler
but for a minute one I know and it did bother me as a viewer for the first time that like I just
knew that she was so I was like why is she not in the makeup like I kept getting confused about
why she was confused and then I was like wait so is she not in the makeup? Like, I kept getting confused about why she was. I was also confused and then I was like,
wait,
so she got a whole bunch
of friends who follow her around
who have the same face as her?
Yeah,
I did not,
it was really hard to follow
because I knew that that was her.
Yeah.
But also,
it looks like her.
Yes.
Like when she's in the makeup.
It's Keira Knightley
is the main decoy.
Right,
but she's,
when you see her talking
in the beginning,
it's Natalie Portman,
It is her,
yeah,
so she has the makeup on sometimes and other times it's Keira Knightley or I think. so sometimes you see her talking in the beginning, it's Natalie Portman, right? It is her, yeah. So she has the makeup on sometimes, and other times it's Keira Knightley.
Oh, so sometimes you see Keira Knightley before the end.
That's correct, yes.
Oh.
Well, that tripped me up.
They're the same person.
Yeah.
That's really weird.
The way, how do we say his name?
Qui-Gon Jinn, which character, yes.
Qui-Gon Jinn.
That's, what a hard name.
It's a difficult, do you guys know,
like, I'm sorry this is off topic,
but every time I see Liam Neeson in a movie,
I just think about his rumored huge dick.
Oh, I think about how he trolled the streets
looking to beat up a black man.
Oh, yes, okay.
That's a different side of him.
What a psycho.
That was so wild.
I was like, there was no need for you
to ever say that out loud.
Why did he tell that story?
It was like years later, right? Yeah, I was like, you take there was no need for you to ever say that out loud. Why did he tell that story? It was like years later, right?
Yeah, I was like, you take that to your grave.
You don't say that out loud.
You're a psychopath and racist.
I hope he was in his Qui-Gon Jinn costume.
Ewan McGregor's ponytail was so dumb.
It looked like he went to Six Flags and got one of those wraps.
He got a hair wrap.
It was truly so weird.
Also, when Qui-Gon Jinn dies,
he doesn't really react.
He's just like, ah, nuts.
I guess I gotta finish this fight.
Then he finishes the fight,
and then he's like, oh, boo-hoo,
I guess I cry now.
There's a lot in these movies,
a lot of moments where people die
and no one wants to really deal.
I think George Lucas is a weird man
who doesn't quite understand
human emotion.
And which I can relate to.
Like I get it.
But you know,
he maybe that becomes
a deficiency in him
directing actors.
And if you look at like
the previous trilogy,
which everyone is like,
this is the,
this is why we love Star Wars.
These three movies,
what you just watched
four, five and six.
Lucas only directed the first one,
and the second two, I feel like,
they just get better performances out of the actors.
I agree. We noticed that, too.
I feel like something that's kind of interesting here
is so Lucas directed this one,
but the role of director was offered to Steven Spielberg,
Ron Howard, and Robert Zemeckis.
All three turned down the position
as the film was Lucas' baby.
Yeah, they basically told him, like, you should direct this.
Really?
Yeah.
At least that's what he says.
Okay.
So who is in charge of asking someone to direct it if it's his thing?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, the studio.
They're not initially going to George Lucas
because he didn't do as well as other people.
Probably.
So they were like, let's go to a bigger name, you know?
Spielberg was involved.
Let's go to him.
I'm fascinated by people taking this away from him in all these different ways.
Like, he has this thing that he created that people are obsessed with,
but they're so critical of him and all of his choices.
But it was his idea.
I think it might be just the tinkering.
I think it's really expensive to redo all of the stuff that he keeps redoing.
But even like the fans like want to go against him.
Like it's so fascinating.
Like I kind of assumed everyone would love him.
There was a backlash.
And then now there's a backlash to the backlash where now people are like, Lucas is great.
He gave us Star Wars.
And so that's kind of progressed because of, and I think it's just generational dissatisfaction of like people grew up with the original trilogy.
Then those people came of age and saw the prequel trilogy.
It was like, this isn't the Star Wars I remember.
Well, now the people who saw the prequel trilogy have grown up and they're watching the new trilogy.
And they're being like, the J.J. Abrams trilogy.
They'll be like, this isn't the Star Wars I remember.
So it's just like some weird nostalgia thing that's making you have, you know.
Right.
So, of course, it's not going to be this thing you loved
when you were 12 years old, you know?
It's just not going to hit you in the same way.
I think, from what I understand of the production,
that George Lucas independently financed this,
and he had a lot of creative control.
Wow.
That he basically put up the money, for the most part, himself.
It's technically, I think, the most expensive independent film of all time.
I think he did that on the last one as well.
Yeah.
And so, but I believe, I could be wrong.
I don't know how much of it came from the studio
or how much of it came from George Lucas
just being like, I don't want to direct this
because I feel like these movies work well
when someone else directs it,
which he's right about.
And then they were like, no, no, no, you do it.
And he was like, okay.
Fun fact, Ewan McGregor made lightsaber noises
as he dueled.
That is a fun fact.
That's funny.
It's so funny that George, as a director, would go,
we'll do it in post.
You don't have to do that.
Why did the lightsabers look futuristic?
This bothered me.
Because then in episode four, they're fatter.
And I just didn't like that it was like
these are sleeker now and then they'll get
worse when they get older or something
Darth Maul
Darth Maul yes he's the one who's like
really into face paint yeah so
Darth Maul's lightsaber was
it was two
yeah he's got a double saber but I was like how
does he have a double one but we didn't see that later
yeah so this is another thing that trips up the whole prequel versus, you know, the original trilogy, the OT, is that, yeah, just stuff looks better.
It looks cooler.
And then just like the fighting is like, oh, well, so they were super good at fighting in episode one.
And then you watch the episode for the Star Wars, like lightsaber fight between Darth Vader and Obi-Wan,
old Obi-Wan.
It just looks like shit.
It's just like these two old guys.
Oh, it's so slow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, Darth Maul,
pretty badass looking
until he hops on a scooter.
His vehicle of choice was a scooter.
I was like, no, thank you.
Who plays Darth Maul?
Darth Maul is,
Ray Park is the actor who,
the physical actor
and then he was voiced
by Peter Serafinowicz.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
Who I think was later
banned from Star Wars
because he shit-talked the movie.
Oh, amazing.
That's fun.
Okay, so we'll erase
the first few episodes
if we want to try to get
into a later movie.
No, but then they'll like, they'll hear how much we grew to love it.
And honestly, I loved Jar Jar, so that should give me some sort of points.
Yeah, you really got to get a lot.
Everyone hates Jar Jar.
I thought he was just so fun and funny.
I thought he was really annoying, but I also-
The voice isn't great.
Well, and I remember from that time, I guess I was like 14 when this came out.
I remember people going crazy, being upset about Jar Jar.
And it was like a joke.
So I could ironically joke about Jar Jar at that time in my life.
That was like a funny thing to do.
But so I remember that being like such a it was like such a part of my experience that I came into this hating Jar Jar.
So I was like, oh like oh great there he is
he's so annoying like a first second see i knew jar jar that people didn't like jar jar and i
knew what jar jar looked like but then watching the first three movies i thought jar jar was
going to be a boba fett thing where people talked about boba fett but he's not really in the movies
yeah i kind of did expect it to be a smaller role. But then I was delighted at how much Jar Jar was in.
Yeah.
Man, I like Jar Jar.
But there are points in this movie
that just look like a bad video game.
Yes.
Where there's like,
I feel like Jar Jar's standing around with a other,
I can't remember where it was.
Most of Jar Jar's interactions look insane.
Yeah.
And then it looks like Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor
just like walked into some weird like computer game
you only get at school.
Yeah.
Like like Math Blaster or something.
I don't even know what this is, but I'll play it.
It's a weird typing tutor I got to play.
Yeah, it's.
Well, what did you think of the what we're talking about characters and a lot of the criticism of Jar Jar Binks was like the people thought he was a was a stereotype in alien form.
Also criticism of the
trade federation uh people thought he was an alien stereotype you know like uh what like a racial
stereotype yes there was there was a lot of like like so the the trade federation and then also the
uh watto the the bug creature who has uh anakin as a slave also, where they were like, that's anti-Semitic,
the, you know,
the Rune,
Hakko,
and Newt Gunray,
the Trade Federation,
those guys are like
kind of talking
and they're kind of like
made them Asian aliens.
Yes.
And people were like
kind of upset about
a lot of those elements.
I thought that was strange.
Yeah.
Especially because
it's not a feature
of any of the previous movies
where like,
nothing is familiar
in any way with
these alien characters. Agreed.
You're not like Chewbacca is Hungarian.
Right. It's not like a direct one-to-one
parallel. But here you've got like this
you've got like this greedy
shop, this greedy slave owner
who's like only
cares about money and then kind of is
it's, I don't know, he is
like a Jewish bug. That's like kind of the way it's, I feel like he's been.
That went right over my dang head.
Yeah.
I worried about it with Jar Jar, but I was like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Also, Boss Nass, he was a strange character for me.
I didn't really, he spoke so strangely, and I was like,
what is your point?
I never really, I kind of like Boss Nass,
but I never really understood why he looks so different from
the other Gungans. He looks like he's from
Dinosaurs. He does look like the
daddy from Dinosaurs. Looks like Sinclair.
I'm really
actually looking at this Yoda picture
I'm really relieved that it was a puppet because I
feel like that would have been such a bold move to make
him fully CGI. Right.
But yeah I'm so surprised that it didn't look right
and that the puppeteer was mad too.
I don't know, it's interesting.
Did either of you see the trailer
in like 1997, 1998 when this movie was being hyped?
Do you remember seeing that?
I don't remember it.
So this is, if any,
and I think part of why I like this movie now
is as much as nostalgia for the film
is nostalgia for the trailer experience,
which was just seeing it within, if you rewatch it, it might be interesting to just check
it out and see what you think, because it got people so unbelievably hyped, and it is
a really well-cut trailer, but there's a few moments that you hit in the movie that are
clear trailer moments, like Anakin Skywalker meet Obi-Wan Kenobi, where people are just
like, yeah, and the same sort of thing, like when Yoda first appears,
I almost just called him Yoga.
When Yoda first, that's in Spaceballs 2, is Yoga.
I'm trying to think about, oh, when you see C-3PO
and he's partly built, like you see always like,
who is this brave droid?
That's R2-D2.
There's all these moments that are just basically fan service.
You are right.
That was pretty funny for me. When they were like, what's this droid. That's R2-D2. There's all these moments that are just basically fan service. That was pretty funny for me
when they were like,
what's this droid?
And they were like,
ah, R2-D2.
And I was like,
ah, there we go.
There's R2-D2.
I know, it's kind of cute.
It's kind of funny.
We have to take a break.
We'll be back with more Star Wars
right after this short break.
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Link is in the episode description.
And we're back.
I love this review from The Rolling Stone.
The actors are wallpaper.
The jokes are juvenile.
There's no romance.
And the dialogue lands with the thud of a computer instruction manual.
Wow.
I mean, I did think most of the performances were a little flat.
Yeah, and I mean, I kind of agree with the romance,
even though I wasn't thinking about it in the moment,
but it was keeping me going with a lot of the other movies
that there was this will they, won't they, or what's going to happen here,
even though it's always just like a kiss.
But like there was no, nothing that I could really like look to as like a.
Yeah, you're just rooting for this little boy
to like figure out how to become a Jedi.
Yeah, I liked the conversations
between Natalie Portman and the little boy.
How old is, sorry.
I was just gonna say,
if you're looking for romance,
I'm interested in your take on episode two.
That's all I'll say.
They gonna be fucking?
I hope they fuck weird.
Is Natalie Portman Luke's mom?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
She's older than Anakin.
I think her character is meant to be like 19 or 20.
Wait, walk me through her being the mom.
I feel like I should just let you watch it.
Okay.
She's in the next one.
Yeah, you just asked a question
and that was a spoiler.
Oh, okay.
No, because we did hear
that she was going to be.
Okay, yeah.
I vaguely knew,
but then watching the movie
was a little bothered
by this huge age gap.
It is jarring.
Right, because she fucks him.
Yes.
And it is a thing to think,
like, you are like,
why did Lucas feel the need to establish this?
Why did he feel like,
I want to show this element of,
they met when he was a young boy
and later on they're going to be fucking.
It's honestly so weird.
Yeah.
I don't love it.
I wish she was a child as well.
But think about if that little boy
saw that he was going to look like that
when he died.
He's like, my head becomes purple.
I'm in the back of its bubble gum.
Anakin's mom is one of the saddest characters,
I think, in cinematic history.
Shmi Skywalker.
She's so depressing.
Yeah.
They did her no favors.
They were like, no makeup for her.
She's fine.
Yeah.
I thought that was rude.
I think some of the men look better in this movie than she did and she's like a pretty woman it was just not right um and her life just
sucks too it's just like she's a slave on the sand planet uh also i really love speaking of sand when
anakin was like the sandstorms are so dangerous and then they're walking through the sandstorm
essentially that's starting and nobody's struggling
not one person struggles
that whole
that whole sandstorm sequence
is like
kind of
indicative of
of
the overall clunkiness
of the movie
because there's like a scene
where it's just Obi-Wan
is just like
looks like there's a sand
sandstorm coming in
then Captain Binaka
just replies
it seems bad
like it's just like
there's no
you can just show the
sandstorm rolling and you don't need this clunky
dialogue I wonder where they filmed this one
I'm gonna google
I assume they filmed a lot of the desert stuff in Tunisia
I feel like that's where they've normally done that
Tunisia London they usually
is a filming location for these
Italy and the UK and Tunisia
so one thing that I think is
for me and just creatively talking about this movie as a prequel, I always, I love the planet of Naboo.
I think it's really cool.
I like that they've got these underwater cities and they've also got like this lush greenery.
Like each of the environments is just so distinct.
But I think there is something to, because they blow up Alderaan in episode four.
And there's kind of almost a case of like, well, why isn't this story set on Alderaan?
Why isn't this set on this planet
so we can kind of see the before here?
Alderaan is the place that Princess Leia was like,
that planet.
Yeah, they have no weapons.
No, don't do it.
And then Peter Cushing, Grand Moff Tarkin's character,
blows it up with a Death Star.
So that's the planet, yeah.
So I mean, that's kind of like, I don't know, inventing this whole other world, but then
also, like, we're seeing all our old friends are back.
It's an interesting way to handle it.
And then also, Anakin leaves the sand place where he's a moisture farmer to become a Jedi,
but then returns right back to the moisture place?
He'll get back there eventually, yeah.
And then his uncle and his aunt who are they
where they come they died they died in an episode one four four four so where does his mom go a lot
of this you'll see in episodes two and three so i think i think yeah i think just uh that arc will
be answered um okay i'm trying to oh did you like because we talked about darth maul and and
everything i think the thing if even just like as far as scenes in isolation
and part of why
I really like this movie
I think that whole
last battle sequence
is super fun
that whole third act
where they've got
like these three different
again like Return of the Jedi
we've got three different
set pieces that are going on
at once
on three different battles
and you've got the Gungans
outside fighting the droids
you've got the
you know
the palace insurrection
and then you've got
the lightsaber battle which I think is, you know, they're the palace insurrection. And then you've got the lightsaber battle,
which I think is the best lightsaber battle in the entire series.
That was the coolest one.
Yeah.
It was flips.
It's so awesome.
It was very physical.
I just,
the whole shield thing was confusing to me as to like why Ewan McGregor
couldn't get to the fight.
Sure.
What were those shields?
Just an obstacle?
Yeah.
I don't know. Just a random. A Just an obstacle? Force fields. Yeah, I don't know.
A plot device.
A plot device!
That's one of those things where it's just like some
weird sci-fi gobbledygook
that's thrown in there to
you know, whatever, make the story
play out the way he wants to. But yeah, it doesn't really have
a, it would be useful if you
it would be better if you saw that it had some sort of
purpose established but yeah
that whole fight sequence
is awesome
and I think
Darth Maul's death
is rad
I did enjoy it
he gets split the fuck
yeah that was really fun
and his legs fell off
yeah
it's great
and we got to see
his two pieces fall down
it was very funny
I enjoyed it
yeah I liked it too
in the director's cut
Obi-Wan says
say goodbye to your dick.
He's like, what?
Oh, no!
When Obi-Wan is looking at Qui-Gon Jinn.
Qui-Gon Jinn.
When he's looking at his lightsaber,
he does it twice.
And at that point, I was like,
well, Darth Maul, you're bad at this yeah
why aren't you following where his eyes are going you should have anticipated that he's going to
pick up that lightsaber that really bothered me there's a lot of there's a lot of editing choices
like that where it's just like this shot is lingering for an extra beat someone delivered
their line of dialogue you cut to shmi skywalker you hold on her for a full second and then she
says anakin you hold on her for another full second, and then she says, Anakin,
you hold on her for another second, and then you cut away.
It just feels like paced very odd, and that's the sort of thing, yeah, we could have just seen it once.
I want to know about your relationship with these movies growing up.
So, yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
Oh, I was just going to say, like, we had, you know, the original trilogy on VHS.
I don't remember, in fact, I would not have seen any of the original trilogy in theaters. But I just grew up with them and I watched them obsessively. And even as a kid,
then some time passed and then as a teenager came back to them, I was like, these movies
still are awesome and watched them over and over again. They kept re-releasing new editions of the
movies on VHS. And so I'd buy buy those and then they had a special edition which I
would have been
the version that you watch
would have been
the cut that you watch
that was re-released
into theaters
and that was the first time
I saw Star Wars
in the theaters
and I was so so hyped
for that
oh that must have been neat
I didn't know that
it was put in theaters
with the changes
yeah
I mean even though
we kind of were critical
of a lot of those
the changes are
completely unnecessary
the special edition
I think is really pretty dumb they didn't need they didn't it would have been cool just to
put it in theaters again right like a anniversary thing or something yeah just remaster it yeah make
it look a little prettier sharper yeah you know yeah adding extra sequences and then just changing
things arbitrarily not arbitrarily but just changing. It's it feels it's it makes those movies worse.
But but and then so like I was beyond hyped for for the prequel trilogy, as I mentioned earlier.
And, you know, I think I think that my fandom started to tail off a little bit as I was very disappointed with these prequels initially.
But as time passed, I sort of I've grown to appreciate them as like as like, oh, you know what?
It's just more Star Wars.
And I like Star Wars. And I
like Star Wars. And like, if you like Marvel, there are Marvel movies that are not as good
as other Marvel movies, but you're always happy to see more of them. And just approaching it from
that standpoint, it's just like, I like every Star Wars movie to some degree, just some more
than others. And did you have like toys and memorabilia? Yeah, were you part of the merchandising?
Because we keep hearing that's like a huge thing. So my brother is older than me,
four and a half years older than me,
and so he was the guy with the big Star Wars toy collection,
but we had a lot of shit,
and we had a bunch of the Kenner action figures.
We had AT-STs and AT-ATs,
the big mechanical walkers.
I had an X-Wing.
Didn't have a Death Star.
In fact, I'm not sure if they made a Death Star toy.
It would have been absurdly big,
but we had a bunch of-
Wait, they didn't make a Death Star toy?
I guess if you're doing it
like relative to the other toys,
like it would have to be like
as big as a room.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah, so I'm not,
but they probably did make one.
But then we had play sets.
You know, we had like the Ewok
like village play set and shit.
That was a thing.
We like the Ewoks.
I want to buy that on eBay.
I love the Ewoks.
And I know we're not talking episode six here.
We're not talking Return of the Jedi.
But people are like, that was the first thing that people were like.
That was our favorite.
Yeah, Ewoks are great.
But that was the first thing where people were skeptical about Star Wars.
Or were like, Star Wars sucks now.
The Ewoks are stupid.
And that was the narrative for a long time before the prequels came out.
But the Ewoks are fucking, they're great.
They're incredible.
They're so wonderful.
They're cuddly.
I love them. And guys, Jar Jar just enjoy.
You're a Jar Jar
apologist. I sure am.
I love Jar Jar.
Like in the fight where he almost
falls down. That made me laugh.
When Anakin was like
don't touch a fucking
light thing
it'll make you numb
and then his head hits it
and he's like
that made me laugh
yeah that is funny
it's stupid
oh my god
I just found the Ewok
treehouse toy
on eBay
for $500
how much is it
oh my god
wow
get it
play with that
get it
you gotta get it
boy we shouldn't have
put all that stuff on it
oh my god
we shouldn't have
given all that to Goodwill.
Yeah, I know, right?
Keep that shit.
Dude, these are cute.
The toys are so cute.
500 is like not cool.
Is this what it is to be a Star Wars fan?
Yeah, you spend a lot of money.
Here's one for 100.
Oh, there you go.
That one's probably all played with.
I know, it's all sticky.
Yeah.
I don't know what I'm expecting that to be, but.
See 3PO? Yes. He gets gold, I assume, in the second one? what I'm expecting that to be. C-3PO.
Yes.
He gets gold,
I assume,
in the second one?
It's,
yes,
he,
you see his transition
into being like
a fully built robot.
I will say
that this is another thing
that I think is just like
dumb about the movie
is that there's no reason,
you can put C-3PO in it,
it doesn't have to be Anakin building him. I don't see what that adds. That's, to me, it's just like dumb about the movie is that there's no reason you can put c-3po in it it doesn't have to be anakin building him i don't see what that adds that's to me it's just like it's just a dumb bit
of lore slash it's misguided attempted fan service well i thought it was to justify why he's so loyal
to luke because the loyalty was hereditary if you will
from Anakin to Luke
that was my thought
that's interesting
maybe not
that's giving it
a lot of credit
I feel like
I think so yeah
I think you're doing
some work for the movie
me just sitting on my couch
being like no
this has to make sense
because they put this
for a reason
everything's here
for a reason
there was also a female
C-3PO lady
oh yeah
at the beginning
not C-3PO I guess were they all. At the beginning. Not C-3PO, I guess.
Were they all C-something?
Are they called C-2123?
I think she,
well, I don't remember
what her number is.
But I think people are just screaming
in the Twitter mentions right now.
It's TC-14 or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
We can't wait.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the comments for this
are going to be a delight to read. I can't wait. Oh, yeah. Oh, the comments for this are going to be a delight to read.
I can't wait.
I cannot wait for people to really attack me for liking Jar Jar.
I really, I don't.
He's so fun.
Can someone do fan art of Nicole riding Jar Jar Beans?
Please.
That's not a thing that he does.
of Nicole riding Jar Jar Binks,
even though that's not a thing that he does.
I think the, we're talking about toys,
and the other element of Star Wars fandom beyond the movies is video games.
And Star Wars has some awesome video games,
and one of them, one of the best ones,
came from this movie,
and is, even for people who don't like episode one,
they consider it a redeeming factor,
there's an episode one pod racing video game
that is so fun for Nintendo 64 and PC.
It reminds me of Mario Kart.
It is like Mario Kart, yeah.
It did look like a Mario World too.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds fun.
I mean, yeah, I thought,
I actually didn't mind the racing scene.
It was long.
It was long.
And I felt like it went on way too long.
And again, the CGI elements were so silly. it was long it was long and I felt like it went on way too long and again
the CGI elements
were so silly
and that was what
I didn't really get
like I think
in the previous movies
it felt like
the humor
was mostly
with
like there was like
there was humor for sure
but I liked how
a lot of it was like
between the actors
yeah
there were some jokes
with like the
some of the like
alien characters,
but this felt like
they were leaning on it a lot
for the CGI to be the funny part.
It felt like the CGI
was a secondary character
as opposed to a tool
to make something more believable.
Yeah.
And I think people
would have liked Jar Jar.
I won't stop talking about Jar Jar.
I think people would have liked Jar Jar
if Jar Jar was in a costume.
I actually think so, too. I think that would have liked Jar Jar if Jar Jar was in a costume.
I actually think so, too.
I think that would have been more likable.
Yes.
It's also just more real.
It's not just an, like, there's something about CGI where, like, you can do whatever you want to it as the creator.
So if you make it annoying, it's like you're going out of your way to do all of these things that make this character annoying.
Whereas if it was just a guy in a suit, we'd be like, hey, that's all they could work with.
This is fun. Honestly, you'd probably leave being Hey, that's all they can work with. This is fun.
Honestly,
you'd probably leave being like,
this is a great physical actor.
Yeah.
Because I mean,
he did all of that,
but then you just put a sticker on it and it felt weird.
I like characterizing a 3d CG model as a sticker,
but it's true.
But it was,
uh,
that,
that,
uh,
everything you're saying
is true
and also
but this movie
is the template
and especially
the sequel
or the other prequels
is a template
for how movies
end up
being made
in the 21st century
and just like
all these
you know
look at the Hulk
or all the CG
created characters
all the ones that exist
in the Lord of the Rings
trilogy it's all like basically derived from the prequels of like we'll shoot we'll get these actors we'll shoot them Look at the Hulk or all the CG-created characters, all the ones that exist in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
It's all basically derived from the prequels of, like, we'll get these actors, we'll shoot them on blue or green screen.
This was like the first—
It was like the first big one with a big CG character.
Oh, that's actually really interesting.
It is interesting.
Because I do think as an audience member, you would be more excited about that since you haven't seen that over and over.
Right.
This felt more like in the Marvel Universe to me where I was like, yeah, I get it.
It's easier to write off characters and stuff
but that's another thing that Ahmed Best kind of like gets
overlooked where everyone talks about like Andy
Serkis' Golem was like he was
you know this amazing motion capture actor
is like well Ahmed Best did it first you just
didn't like the character you know
that's not fair I can't believe Andy
Serkis is who he is because I actually
know him more from 13 going on 30
which is so weird he just plays like a character in it.
Wow.
He's just in that.
But then I'm like, he can be all of those physical.
Yes, right.
I mean, I can't.
It's talent.
It's a real talent.
Oh, he's amazing.
I can barely sit straight.
It's tough right now.
I just want to lay down.
Also, why didn't they test Jar Jar's voice?
I'm sure if they had a focus group
every single person would be like
you gotta do something about that
I feel like they can never trust anyone
to keep it a secret
if they tested something with this movie
like don't you think
people would just immediately tell everyone
yeah
but there is
you just lie
you animate a little short or something
to show it to people
you're like
do you like this voice
no
no
excuse me
bad
yeah
it really makes me upset would you like it more if it, no. Excuse me, bad. Yeah. It really makes me upset.
Would you like it more if it was part of the Star Wars canon?
Yeah.
No.
I gotta say, Samuel L. Jackson, I feel like you don't hire Samuel L. Jackson just to like sit.
Underused.
And softly say lines.
Yes.
So my understanding is that Samuel L. Jackson reached out to George Lucas and was like, I want to be in a Star Wars.
And so he kind of got cast in this character as Mace Windu, who's one of the best characters in the prequels, ultimately.
But he got cast as Mace Windu, I think, to serve this sort of functionary role because that was just, you know, there wasn't really a space for him.
But he could have been Qui-Gon Jinn.
You know, why not?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
That would have been fucking great, I think.
I only know the name Mace Windu because my friend's child, like, years ago,
would be like, Mace Windu.
And that's the only way I've ever heard it.
So whenever I hear it, I think of that.
I've never heard it before.
I wanted to say there was a rumor that Tupac wanted to be—
or expressed interest in reading for a role,
but his murder in September 1996 prevented any such meeting from taking place.
You know, he would have been a great Anakin.
He was a Star Wars fan since childhood.
I think that's very sweet.
Would have been a great Anakin.
I would have loved to have seen Tupac as Anakin.
Oh my God, yeah.
He's 30.
I mean, how old was he when he passed?
I don't know.
But I think part of why this movie,
and you talked about it being focus tested,
and obviously that was an issue
with people were worried about leaking,
but I think also George Lucas
in the late 1990s
was considered like this
genius, this infallible sort of
artistic
guy and so I think people were
I think he just was surrounded
by people who were not willing to or not
able to say like hey maybe don't do
this and that's why there's a lot of weird choices in this film.
That's what's so tricky about people like that.
Like once you get to a position where you are,
you've created something and then everyone just kind of is afraid to mess with it.
Because then there are things that like,
I just feel like it was kind of universally agreed for the most part.
Like a lot of the criticisms most fans would agree with.
So then the people making it probably thought that too where they're like oh man this is not
for sure yeah that's that's hard but like you know that there's thing and by the way i realized the
word i was looking for was a tour but i landed on artistic guy that's just me in my head uh the the
there's things like the vehicle design in this movie i think like a lot of the ships look awesome
that like that totally reflective ship that they that the jedi use is really cool that the droid um uh station that's orbiting the planet i think
just has a cool design to it a lot of the alien creatures like look there's like just again like
the roger reaper thing there's all these like visual nuggets just like oh that's a fun thing
to look at fun yeah it's uh visually delicious yeah what i was saying to myself at 1 a.m. as I watched it.
I was like, ooh, this is visually delicious.
And I was like, I have to go to sleep.
Yeah.
But I mean, I think because we're so familiar with this kind of filmmaking now,
it felt really easy to watch passively for me because I was like, oh, yeah,
I actively don't watch movies that look like this all the time.
So I had to like really focus to try to get the plot.
Whereas with the earlier ones, I feel like even though I might have been bored at times,
it was more clear what was happening.
The plot was so much more simpler than in this movie.
Also, Anakin, like, saves the day, but, like, by mistake.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I think a better choice would have been, like like for the force to help him save the day.
To showcase that he is powerful.
As opposed to like, no, zoops.
Oh, wow.
I flicked something.
Oh, zoom.
Gotta get out of here.
And then they cut to the other people being like, I don't know who's doing that.
He was so cute, that little kid.
I can't believe that people were so mean
to a child
I guess I can
yeah but I get it
I get it
imagine going to school
with the kid
who's got the role
that you would kill
your mother for
like you were just
you love these movies
so much
of course you're gonna be
so nasty to this kid
oh so it was his
it was children
I think it was children
I don't think adults
were mean to his face
I guess it said
peer bullying but also I guess it said peer bullying, yeah.
But also, I guess that continued on into college,
because I remember reading he'd go to parties and stuff,
and people would give him shit and tell him that his movie sucked.
That's so unfair.
That's so stupid.
People are awful.
Everyone's jealous.
Yeah, so jealous.
That's just all it is.
I was a child.
I don't know.
It happened to me.
Is this his only acting role? I forgot to look that up. that's just all it is. Like, I was a child. I don't know. It happened to me. Did he,
is this his only acting role?
I forgot to look that up.
It said he retired after this.
Dang.
Oh,
but maybe just,
he retired from acting.
He doesn't say it right after this.
Yeah.
I'll look at a design movie.
In addition to how great it looks,
I mean,
the sound in this movie,
both the John Williams score,
but then also just the sound design
is so good.
Like,
there's so many good,
there's so many awesome
sound effects. The pod racing sequence where they
drop out the score entirely.
The hum of the pod racers and everything.
It really sits in well.
And I feel like just the
world building beyond just the visual,
just the distinct sound of
every element really
sticks with you. Yeah, he stopped
acting after this. He was in stuff
around that time
but then
he just did a
oh no, he was just
a production assistant
on a short.
Oh, okay.
He came back in there.
He came back in the cycle.
He's doing it from the other angle.
Yeah.
Maybe that's better.
What is
Darth Maul is a Sith?
Wait, what are they?
Yes.
The evil Jedi are the Sith.
And then
somebody was like
when they're
Yoda says when there's one
there's two.
Yes.
So that is palpable.
Boop.
Wait,
what's his name?
Uh,
Senator Palpatine.
Is he the,
he's the second one.
Yeah.
This is another clunky thing about the movie is that there's no mystery about
who the phantom menace is.
It's just like,
you see this guy with the,
you know,
with the hood,
it's Darth Sidious.
And it's just like,
that's just Senator Palpatine.
Who's trying to be good over here.
Like I immediately connect them.
And I also know that
because I've seen the Emperor
in the previous movie
and it's the same actor.
So it's,
again,
I'm just not sure
why the story needs to be told,
ultimately.
But I did think it was neat
that it was the same actor.
Yeah.
I like that.
I like any chance they could do,
any chance they had to do that.
He's good.
Ian McDiarmid,
I think is his name.
I like that guy. lauren overall you're you seem indifferent i don't really care for this one
this one i can i rank them in order as my favorites as of now i like it right now it's
return of the jedi empire strikes back uh new hope and then Phantom Menace. Whoa. Wow. Is that normal?
Maybe.
That's pretty, a lot of, I think most people put Empire first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But Return of the Jedi first is pretty common as well.
Okay.
Return of the Jedi, Phantom Menace, Emperor Strikes Back, or Empire?
Empire.
It's good.
We're learning.
Empire Strikes Back.
And then New Hope is not even on my list.
Wow. I Strikes Back. And then A New Hope is not even on my list. Wow.
I really, man.
I honestly would watch A New Hope, and by the way, hated it.
You would watch A New Hope?
Before I would watch this again.
Wow.
I'm going to go home and watch Jar Jar until I die.
I liked it.
By the way, I don't want to watch either one again, but that's what would happen if I had to,
if someone was holding a knife to my leg.
I made it as tame as possible.
Honestly, if someone held a knife to my leg and was like, watch this again, I'd be like, cut it.
Just a little slice, cut me.
Speaking as a Star Wars fan who knows Star Wars fans, Nicole, you saying you like Jar Jar and then ranking The Phantom Menace above Empire Strikes Back
it's like you're begging to be docked
this is the best thing I've ever heard
I just
I don't know what people's problems were
I did not think the story
any part of it was necessary
to the three movies I've seen
but I thought it was a fun rump
if you will and I was saying earlier
before we started recording I was like this movie could have ended so many times it was a fun rump, if you will. And I was saying earlier, before we started recording, I was like, this movie
could have ended so many times.
It was very long
and a lot of epic things would happen.
You'd be like, oh, cool, so this should be wrapping
up. And then you'd pause it and go, there's an hour
and 20 minutes left? Okay, well, let's
get in. Oh, well, it's not gonna end.
Yeah, it was long, but I liked it.
It's too long. And there was
a thing, I know we're wrapping up here,
but Topher Grace at one point
recut the movie,
I think it's called The Phantom Edit.
We should try to get him on here
because I know him.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be fun.
Yeah, let's do that.
He put it all together
how he thought it should be, right?
And this movie's like two hours and 20 minutes
and I think he got it down to around 90.
And if you look at it,
there's so many scenes
you could just lift out of here.
I've never seen it, but apparently it's well done. And if you look at it, you're just like, there's so many scenes you could just lift out of here. I've never seen it,
but apparently it's well done.
I will say that this is,
I love this movie.
I love all the Star Warses.
This is probably my least favorite
of the mainline Star Warses.
So I would put this at the bottom.
It's either this or episode seven
is kind of competing for the bottom slot.
Okay.
How would you rank the first three?
The first three,
I go five, six, four.
So Empire, Jedi, and then Star Wars.
So you're a classic fan.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, this is really exciting for us.
I mean, okay, what's the next one called?
Everybody get in here.
Are we about to start the wars again?
I honestly have no idea.
I think it's called
Darth Takes a Break.
Darth needs a little napsies.
The next one is
Star Wars Episode 2
Attack of the Clones.
Okay.
Is this where we see
the Clone War?
Maybe.
I think we go see a Clone War.
We might see it.
But I've been warned that the Clone War is not as interesting as I think it's going to be.
Yes, we were told that.
Yes.
I can't remember.
But then I think Gemberling said, or maybe it was Gabrus who said that we might not like the pod chasing.
Yeah.
And I was like, no, I liked it.
It was fun.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Episode two, I will just say, I think is the most distinct of all of the mainline Star Wars.
And which one is the most hated out of this trilogy?
I think this first one.
Okay.
I think this, yeah.
Oh, so people might like this one.
This one or, one or two.
Okay, so the next one is going to be possibly bad in our opinion, but you might love it.
Sometimes I really wonder if I have bad taste, and I think it's being confirmed right right now i don't think there's such a thing as that no yeah it's just
different i can't believe people hated this movie so much i know but also i'm delighted in saying
things like when darth maul got on that scooter i squealed yeah but if you actually cared you
would have been like no like why is he on a? Yeah, I could imagine being upset about that.
Well, Nick, do you have anything you'd like to plug?
You know, you mentioned my podcast, Doughboys, me and Mike Mitchell,
and how did this get played with me and Heather Ann Campbell.
First one covers Shane Restaurant.
Second one covers bad video games.
Check them out.
And both are really great.
And what is your Instagram and Twitter?
I'm just at Nick Weiger on whatever social media platform you use.
Well, great.
Thank you so much for being here.
Everyone can please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts.
Of course, if you like how we're talking about this, please rate and review us.
And honestly, when you criticize me for loving this movie, please be kind.
And then I'm open to constructive criticisms as to why my opinions
are wrong oh yeah we're open to constructive criticism just don't go crazy you don't have
to call me a name right we don't need name calling we're prepared and by the way none of these have
come out yet we're just anticipating all of them i mean you're right when we started from the jump
we're like the people are gonna be very mean they're gonna be mad
the people will be mad
okay and where can we
follow you online
oh at Nicole Byer
on Twitter
and Instagram
and you have a book
coming out
that people can pre-order
you can pre-order
the links are
it's a link in my bio
it's a very long name
that I can't remember
right now
but it's a
it's a how-to guide
on how to be
brave as a fat lady
it's tongue in cheek
it's
some people have
taken it literally
oh my god
it looks amazing
thank you
and it's like
amazing pictures of you
thank you
me in a bikini
by Kim New Money
who's a great photographer
yes she's wonderful
and Lauren
where can people find you
and what do you have going on
oh you can find me
at Lauren Lapkus
on Twitter and Instagram
I just started a Patreon
I saw
so follow my Patreon
I'm gonna be doing
my own stuff that I just changed up from WeTweet my So follow my Patreon. I'm going to be doing my own stuff
that I just changed up from
WeTweetMyShortFilm.
You can watch there.
I directed it
and it's all improvised
by really hilarious people
that you might know
from other podcasts and stuff.
So go check it out
and it's all under my name on Patreon
and I hope you find it
and follow me.
All right.
Well, we love you guys.
Yes, yes.
We love Star Wars.
It's our favorite thing.
So thank you for listening.
Bye-bye. we love Star Wars it's our favorite thing so thank you for listening bye bye
that was a hate gum podcast