Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Dark Knight Rises (w/ Jason Mantzoukas)
Episode Date: February 27, 2024Lauren and Nicole take on the third Christopher Nolan installment covering The Dark Knight Rises (2012) with very special guest Jason Mantzoukas (How Did This Get Made? The League, Big Mouth,... Brooklyn Nine-Nine) and discuss very important subjects such as the musical relationship between Batman and Prince, the intricacies of Bane’s voice, and (unrelated) the wonder of the television show Alone.Next week's movie: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Extended Version) (2016)Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
You are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father.
I swore to them that I would protect you,
and I haven't.
The mayor's going to dump him in the spring.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
But he's a hero.
A war hero.
This is peacetime.
You think this can last?
There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches. Because when it hits, you're all going to wonder how you ever thought
you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.
You could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.
What does that mean?
Rise.
When Gotham is ashes, you have my permission to die. The Dark Knight Rises.
I'm Lauren Lapkus. And I'm insane. I'm Lauren Lapkus.
And I'm insane.
I'm Nicole Byer.
And this season of Newcomers, we're covering the Batman movies.
We sure are.
This is going to be 14 episodes culminating in a very exciting, explosive live stream episode.
And we don't know what's going to happen.
Also, we're not going to be able to cover as much as, or no, we're going to cover as much as we can to get an overview of the franchise,
but there's so much shit, we're not going to get to everything. No, and this is the ninth episode
of the sixth season, so we're working our way through the movies with fellow newcomers, super
fans, sometimes even people who've contributed to the films, and today we are discussing the third
Christopher Nolan Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, also starring Christian Bale.
Now, for all intents and purposes, I should be happy about that.
Should be.
Because I like him and I liked...
But he was a little prune in the beginning of the movie, a little raisin.
We gotta get into it.
Well, okay, if you want to watch this movie, it's on Max.
It's on Prime Video.
You can watch it for a fee on Apple TV+, Google Play, and Vudu.
And we are so excited for our
guest today. Ooh, he's
an actor, writer, comedian, and
podcaster that you know from The League,
Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place,
Big Mouth, and he's one of the hosts of
How Did This Get Made? And of course, you know
him as the voice of Scarecrow.
Oh!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! know him as the voice of Scarecrow. Oh! In the Lego Batman movie, which we're going to watch in a few weeks, it's Jason Mantzoukas!
Okay, well, we're like, of course you know, but we don't.
We don't.
Never seen it.
I love it.
That was the most genuine and wonderful reaction I've ever seen.
You play Scarecrow?
That's really fun.
That's a fun character.
I do play Scarecrow in the Lego Batman movie. That's a fun character. I do play Scarecrow
in the Lego Batman movie.
I will say it is very few lines.
It is very few lines,
but they were a blast.
I actually play a couple
of different voices
in that movie.
Fun.
That's fun.
It was a blast.
It was a blast.
And that movie,
you haven't seen yet, right?
No, not at all.
I mean, it's wonderful.
Like, truly wonderful.
The Lego movie.
I saw the Lego movie.
I saw the Lego movie.
That's cute and funny. Yes, and it's that Batman. The Batman that's in that. Yes. The Lego movie. I saw the Lego movie. I saw the Lego movie. That's cute and funny.
Yes.
And it's that Batman, the Batman that's in that.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
It's a Batman story that is just for, in his kind of, all of his rogues gallery of bad
guys, everybody, Batman related.
That's fun.
Wow.
And there's a rob in it.
Guys, you're going to like it.
I'm excited.
Do they do his parents' death in Lego? Oh, yes. Okay. Well, that's fun. That's fun. And there's a rob in it. Guys, you're going to like it. I'm excited. Do they do his parents deaf in Lego?
Oh, yes.
Okay.
Well, that's fun.
That's fun.
And it's somehow even more bloody than the Nolan movies.
Really?
No, it's not.
Oh, I was like, cool.
I was like, wow.
Little red circles.
Little red circles.
Well, okay.
What is your relationship to the character of Batman?
Are you particularly invested? well okay what is your what is your relationship to the character of Batman do you
are you particularly
okay
invested
so not unlike
our time together
in the MCU
I was reminiscing
about that
because you actually
which episode did you do
I don't remember
me neither
but I was reminiscing
about how
maybe Winter Soldier
it was one of the
or Civil War
Winter Soldier
or Civil War
I think it was one of the
two movies
but I was just thinking
about how you helped us like it more
and I was wondering if that's going to happen here today
so I similarly
have a very long standing
history with Batman as
truly first and foremost
a comic book character
I read Batman I still read Batman
comics I still get Batman comics
delivered to me every you me every couple of weeks.
I've seen all the movies.
But Batman is a character that is beloved to me.
So I'm thrilled to be here talking about Batman.
So did you like Batman when he was just a detective?
I love Batman as a detective.
I love Batman as the world's greatest detective. I just learned he was a detective. Before he had anything. I love Batman as world's greatest detective.
Wow.
I just learned he was a detective.
We recently learned that.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, what they're saying about him, like, isn't that he, like, spent time, like, you know, like a hat, like an old school detective.
But that's his skill set.
Ah.
Is as a detective.
You can't pull one over on Batman because he's such a good detective that he figures everything out. And that's how Batman, who has no superpowers or anything, can outsmart all the time.
And in certain instances, beat people who have, like people like Superman or Wonder Woman, people who have enormous capabilities.
And in the face of his just cleverness and ability to figure out what's going on.
Yeah, Greg.
What's your favorite Batman movie?
I would have loved to come in for The Mask of the Phantasm.
Everyone likes that one.
We were so thrown.
How is it great?
I love it.
I love it.
Did you not like it?
No.
I had to restart it eight times.
No, it was really slow.
Because I kept falling asleep and it was slow.
Oh, that's too bad.
I wonder if Mask of the Phantasm works better if you're a Batman fan.
I wonder if that's partially why I like it so much.
It feels like everyone who likes it is a fan.
Do you find animated movies in general not to your liking?
Like, was any part of your dislike partially because you're like, I don't like no and i like the anime i like how it looks stylistically yeah i just the story
and it felt really slow yeah yeah and the time jumps were a little like not confusing no i get
all of that um tim burton's batman the first batman is the batman, as a kid, waited online to see to a degree that was like the hype was you can't even understand what it was to to go see Batman and the Prince soundtrack.
And, you know, waiting online around the movie.
Like, I remember the line went around the movie theater.
Wow.
Like it was.
That's exciting.
You waited for hours to get access to see this movie.
Like it was, you waited for hours to get access to see this movie. Yeah.
And it was really the first superhero movie in my lifetime that was realized.
The first comic book character, rather, who was brought to life in live action.
That's cool.
Which was cool.
And it must have been exciting to see Jack Nicholson's face.
Incredible.
Nicholson as the Joker was incredible.
Keaton's Batman was great.
Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman was absolutely iconic.
I really liked the back end of Batman Returns.
I liked Batman Returns more.
But yeah, we liked Michael Keaton.
Yes.
But I did appreciate them more when we got to Batman Forever and Batman and Robin, which I loved.
But they were unhinged.
Well, then you're getting into Joel Schumacher
territory, and it's
straight up bananas.
I didn't like those.
Yeah, Lauren, you know them.
I was like, you gotta watch Batman and Robin. It's unintelligible.
No, it really is.
I thought I meant that in a bad way, but I guffawed
the Iceman comic.
I have used some gifs of that recently,
because I'm like, I don't even know if people know
what I'm talking about when I send them,
but I'm just like,
he's so dumb.
Oh, it's crazy.
And everybody's miserable too.
In those old movies,
everybody's so unhappy
because it's all practical.
It's all,
like Michael Keaton couldn't turn his head
in any way, shape, or form.
That's why Batman,
if you watch him,
is just like full torso movements
in order to just see.
Well, there's a joke in Batman Begins
where he says to Morgan Freeman,
he's like, I'd like to turn my head.
And that made me chuckle.
That was one of the best ones so far.
I loved, we loved Batman Begins.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It was so good yeah and then dark
night rise or no dark night yes we liked but we thought batman begins was better than dark night
yeah although heath's performance is incredible yeah takes it over the top yeah that's what was
special about it but this movie i didn't have i didn't i didn't find let's get into it okay so
let's take a quick break we'll be back back with more. We're already taking a break.
We take a break here, but then we don't take a break for a long time.
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description and we're back.
So Dark Knight Rises was released July 16th, not June.
Oh, wait, were they all released in July?
I think they were July.
Was it July or June? I don't remember.
Anyway, 2012.
Written by Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan,
It's a family affair,
and David S. Goyer.
And it was directed by Christopher Nolan.
And, of course, we want, oh, you know what?
We're not thanking the Batman fandom.
No.
We're thanking IMDb.com and Wikipedia for helping putting this summary together.
So thank you, IMDb.
I love that you are going to attempt to summarize this movie, which is Byzantine in its structure
and actually pointless to, I think, try and explain.
That's great.
That's a good, honestly, it's a good start.
Very complicated and lots of twists and turns.
That's a good word.
I took a Byzantine art class in college.
Oh, a busy art class.
Busy art class.
They gave me crayons.
What do you got?
I got busy.
I got busy all night.
I got busy art.
I got to do busy art.
And they never let me stop.
Okay. We got to jump let me stop. Okay.
We gotta jump in.
Of course, chime in whenever you want.
Yes, whenever.
Do you think that people tune in to the show
to hear plot descriptions?
Some people do.
Because what, they don't watch the movies?
They just want to hear the chat.
Okay, got it.
And then we explain our opinions and thoughts
as we're going through.
So it's more than just a summary opinions and thoughts as we're going through. Sure, sure, sure.
It's more than just a summary.
Oh, it's so much more.
I say this because I'm looking at what looks to me,
I'm going to say 30 pages of plot description.
It's big fun.
I can't believe Jason's giving us notes.
No, no, no.
We're six seasons in.
It's too late.
Yeah, they got to do it this way.
You put me on a podcast, I'm gonna give notes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fair.
So just to let you know
what happened,
eight years after the death
of Gotham City District Attorney
Harvey Dent,
who, by the way,
who, by the way,
I don't like that
they think he's good.
I don't like that.
I don't like it either.
I don't like that
it's been eight years
of thinking he's a good person.
I've read half a sentence,
so we have to.
A CIA plane
extracts nuclear physicist Dr. Leonid Pavel from Uzbekistan.
During the flight, the CIA agents are attacked by prisoners on board, led by Bane, Tom Hardy,
an intimidating figure who talks through a breathing apparatus that covers his mouth.
Welcome!
It's so funny.
Bane crashes the plane in the mountains, staging Dr. Pavel's death in the process.
The first time he speaks, I was aghast.
Because I actually thought, I think I saw this movie, I think, when it came out, and
I remembered his voice totally different.
I remember it being like, I don't remember him having, I thought it was lower, more like
that.
No.
It was so high pitched.
And it is, it's very, it is very specific and drew a tremendous amount of criticism.
Okay.
Was this the first time it was heard?
It was basically, when the movie came out,
are you guys aware that Christopher Nolan movies have very insane sound mixing and editing?
I don't think.
Okay.
I'm like, no.
Yeah, we did.
We did learn this.
Okay, okay.
And one of the huge criticisms leveled against this movie when it came out in theaters was,
we can't understand what Bane is saying.
I did not have that problem watching it this time because I had closed captioning on.
Me too.
As I have for the last 10 years.
Yeah.
And it was great.
But in the movie theaters, everybody was like, wait, what?
And you go like, oh, hey, okay.
And everybody was like, what the fuck? And he got like, oh, hey, okay. If you want to know, you're not going to believe it.
And everybody was like, what the fuck?
It's all ADR.
Every single Tom Hardy line
is ADR'd.
What a weird job for him.
What a crazy performance.
That's so weird.
None of it is captured live,
I believe.
I'm almost positive
all of it is.
Wait, what's he doing?
Yeah, what is he doing?
Just like silently
like staring at people?
I'm sure he's saying it. He's saying it.
Oh, yes, but then they just fill it in later.
But what we're hearing is ripped.
Which is then even weirder that it's unintelligible.
Yeah.
I had only seen a clip of the stadium scene, and I thought it was a bit.
Like I thought someone like redid his voice, and I was like, that's funny.
But then in that plane, he was like, and I was like, oh, no, that's it, man.
Everybody for years
everybody was doing
in comedy shows
in improv shows
everybody was doing Bane
as if it was
can you believe
that this is what they did
you know what
we probably were in
so many shows
where that was happening
around us
what a fun voice you chose
and you're like
oh starting a scene
like oh so this is your place
I really like it
oh welcome
welcome to Suna Rose it gets a huge laugh we're like, oh, starting a scene. Like, oh, so this is your place? I really like it. Oh, welcome.
Come and pursue the rosé.
Gets a huge laugh.
We're like, what?
Yeah, take that rosé.
I think it's Darth Vader.
Okay.
We are one paragraph in.
Let's just do it, baby.
Meanwhile, in Gotham, the city has been in a state of peace for the last eight years.
Batman Christian Bale has disappeared and Commissioner Gordon Gary Oldman has nearly...
I know that's not how you say it, but I prefer to say it like that.
I love it. By the way, watch
Slow Horses if you're not watching Slow Horses.
What's that? It's an Apple
TV spy show that Gary Oldman
is the star of as like an
old, over-the-hill,
like, failed British spy.
Do you think Apple TV Plus
is just a tax write-off?
They don't advertise...
I know, I never know what's on there.
Me either.
I just started watching The Changeling.
It's great.
It's what it feels like.
It truly feels as though it's a hobby.
Because they're e-commerce.
They sell things,
and then they're like,
let's do, like, a little TV.
Primarily, yeah.
No, no, this feels like...
Hey, wouldn't it be funny?
Yeah.
Wouldn't it be funny if we just't it be funny? Yeah. Wouldn't it be funny
if we just made
Prestige TV?
A whole show.
What if we made
multiple seasons
of a whole show
in which everybody
in the world,
including Momoa,
is blind?
Real show.
Don't know about that one.
I heard about it recently.
You know what I started watching
that you recommended alone?
Oh, yeah.
I'm so fucking in. Get into it. I'm so fucking in.
Get into it.
No, no.
We started watching season six.
We just started season six because people said it was good.
It's people surviving in the Arctic in this season.
Oh, I just started Survivor.
Oh, that's fun, too.
I'm not a big Survivor person, but I'm so glad.
Oh, I'm glad you're liking it.
Oh, good.
It's so great.
You gotta watch it.
Okay, so that wraps up our discussion of Batman or Dark Knight Rises.
Nope.
Okay.
So Gary Oldman has nearly eradicated all violent organized crime.
At a Wayne Manor charity event hosted by Bruce Wayne, Gordon prepares to deliver a speech
revealing the truth about debt and the murders for which Batman has taken the fall for, but
changes his mind, puts the speech in his pocket.
I wanted him to do it.
Me too.
Then Miranda Tate, Marianne Cotillard,
a wealthy investor,
and John,
we don't see enough of her,
I feel like.
Nope.
That's why the twist doesn't do anything.
I just mean now.
I'm like,
where is she now?
I'm sure she's in many things
I don't watch,
but yeah.
Bless you.
How darling was that?
Wow.
Bless you,
certainly.
The most delicate.
If I let them go,
it really hurts my nose
for a very long time.
So that's what it sounds like.
It's pretty great.
You're like Minnie Mouse.
Minnie Mouse.
So a wealthy investor, Marion Coldhear, and then John Daggett, Ben Mendelsohn, a businessman,
What a cast.
tries to meet.
Yes, that's amazing.
Everybody in this movie is a fucking heavy hit.
Everyone's a star.
Great actor.
They try to meet the reclusive Bruce to get him to invest in Tate's clean energy project
but are unable to do so.
Meanwhile,
now I was still surprised
by this even though
I do believe I've seen the film.
One of the maids
of the event,
Selina Kyle,
Anne Hathaway,
breaks into his room
on the pretense
of delivering dinner.
She cracks his safe,
stealing his mother's
pearl necklace
but when Bruce catches her
she kicks this cane
out from under him
spilling him to the floor.
I know.
Then escapes by doing
a backflip out of the window
which was very graceful. She changes out of her disguise., spilling him to the floor. I know. Then escapes by doing a backflip out of the window, which was very graceful.
She changes out of her disguise.
She makes her way to the congressman's car and asks for a ride.
And after she leaves, Bruce finds print dust and realizes she took a copy of his fingerprints.
Which is, the whole scene was really wild to me.
And then I was like, wait, why is Bruce Wayne, why is he having a cane?
Eight years?
He looked horrible.
He looked like a little raisin.
What's he been fucking doing? Sleeping? He looked horrible. He looked like a little raisin. What's he been fucking doing?
Sleeping?
He doesn't move?
He had a goatee that I did not approve of.
He was living in a dark room. And his hair looked like a mushroom.
He looked awful.
I'm like, you still have a billion dollars, right?
Or no, does he not?
No, he does.
Okay, so at this point he does have a billion dollars.
At this point he still has his money.
He's just in, he's becoming incredibly reclusive because in many, he's broken, you know, by
the events of the last movie.
Broken in a lot of ways.
I mean, the Joker did too much.
And thinks, yeah, the Joker, I mean, it is a great performance.
I was exhausted by the end.
It was more.
Something I saw, I'm not going to remember who it was.
Somebody was talking about, maybe it was Michael Jai White, who's in the Joker movie, as one of the crime bosses, said that he showed up to work one day.
This was like some interview he did.
He shows up to work one day, and it's the scene where the Joker, Eric Roberts, collects all the bad guys, right, in that room.
Heath Ledger goes through all of hair and makeup, gets totally done up into the Joker, is the Joker all the time.
And midway through the day, Michael J. White asks, you know, like the first AD or something like, what do we got left to shoot?
And he was like, oh, we're just going to keep doing this for the rest of the day.
And that's when he realized no coverage was going to be on Heath Ledger all day.
He had done that.
All the makeup gone through, hours of makeup was in character for them because it was their
coverage.
Wow.
That is.
And so he could be as much the Joker for them as possible.
He did the whole thing.
That's amazing.
That's incredible because there's so
many actors who will
let a tennis ball do it. Truly.
I'm not going to be saying it at all.
You're grateful for the tennis ball.
Is all I'll say.
I have a friend who worked on a show with a very
famous person who fell asleep
during their coverage. Oh my god.
That's so rude. That's very funny to me.
So it's really impressive that he makes that extra effort.
We should unlike them.
Oh my God.
Now they're sitting down.
Or when they have a stand
and do it for them
and they're just,
it's just another person
but then you see the back
of the stand
and how that looks like
that person.
That's nice.
That's really cool.
Sorry.
I know I'm making this
so so so much longer
this is literally
what it has to be
so
okay this is
oh and also
I think he also
is broken
and
because Gotham
is in peacetime
he feels like
he's not needed anymore
so he's like
fading away
but where do you think
he like fell down
and needed the cane
cause like
he's running
at the end of the other movie he's just trying to I don't think he really needed it I think he's trying to do you think he like fell down and needed the cane? Cause like he's running at the end of the other movie.
He's just trying to,
he's,
I don't think he really needed it.
I think he's trying to make her think he's feeble for some,
right?
I think he's a little bit like battered and broken from.
Cause later at the doctor,
they're like,
you have no cartilage in your knees.
Oh,
that's true.
And he falls out the window.
Yeah.
And that's part of the mythology of Batman is,
and it's harder to do in this,
in these movies because Christian Bale, they are, even if they jump ahead eight years, it's not eight actual years.
They didn't wait for Christian Bale to get older.
Yeah.
And part of the thing is, in long-term Batman stories, you watch him get older and more feeble and more decrepit.
There's an incredible Batman comic written and drawn by Paul Pope called Batman Year 100.
Because Batman Year 1 is a story that is the inspiration for Batman Begins, the movie you guys love, which is the beginnings of what it is to be Batman.
Then there's Batman Year 100, which is he's like Clint Eastwood now.
It's like a man who looks like Clint Eastwood now.
So he's talking to chairs, fighting crime.
Yeah.
Has to get into the suit and do it and is just destroyed.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Later that night.
And by the way, I like how Catwoman just jumps out with no tools.
Yeah.
But okay.
Later that night on the police station's roof, Commissioner Gordon is approached by rookie
police officer John Blake, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who informs him that the congressman
has disappeared after the Wayne Foundation event.
Blake reveals that he has suspicions
about Dent's death
and the last confirmed Batman sighting,
but Gordon dismisses him.
So the next morning, Bruce is at work
figuring out Selena's identity
using the tracking device
on the pearls she had stolen.
How did he know to put a tracking device
on those pearls?
I guess because they were special.
They were his mummies.
So then he learns that Selena is a master jewel thief nicknamed The Cat.
And then Alfred suggests that Bruce go out with Selena to move on from his grief.
Did you see that he's got his mother's pearls in that safe?
And the only other thing that's in there is a jar of his mother's breast milk.
That is a callback to a conversation we had before the mic.
So very satisfying for us.
I like that no one will have any idea because it's so specific.
Sorry about it.
But yeah, good thing he had that.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, gives him superpowers.
And it soothes his little soul.
And really makes his hair strong
take some biotin
Batman chill on your mom's
titty juice
Alfred tells him that he used to
wish that Bruce never returned to Gotham to become
Batman he dreamed about running into him
in a cafe in Italy where they look at each other
but they say no no
I do love Michael
Kane. I'm paraphrasing to make it go faster.
I saw a thing on Instagram. I'm slowing it down so hard.
I love Michael Kane, how
he met his wife. He saw her
in a toothpaste commercial and he was like,
she's mine. They've been together for 50 years.
A toothpaste commercial?
In the 70s, he saw her on TV.
She's a tube of toothpaste.
He's fucking insane.
I love Crest.
I love my beautiful wife.
Ooh, she was the sixth out of ten doctors.
Dentists, rather.
That's like Jeff Bridges.
He saw a waitress, liked her, and then married her, and they've been together for a long, long time.
Wow.
Instagram taught me.
First attraction.
We're learning so much from social media.
Wow.
It's so good
that I'm on there all day.
It's so great.
Wow.
Wonderful.
You pop into my head often
when I waste time on there
and go,
he doesn't even have
to think about this.
It's lovely.
You're not on anything.
He doesn't even have to.
Smart.
What a delight.
What a delight.
It's really fucking hard.
Although I will say
I have succumbed
to watching YouTube.
That still seems fine.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's controllable.
I think that's fine.
Yeah, that's like a nice night.
Because mostly I'm watching like a 25-minute documentary about the making of a Steely Dan record.
That's like basically TV.
Or like Joni Mitchell on the Dick Cavett Show.
That's nice.
You know what I mean?
In 1969.
I support you.
You live a nice life.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Does your brain feel calm?
Yeah.
Do you feel good? No. I'm a comedian. Yeah, you are unwell. I support you. You live a nice life. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Does your brain feel calm? Yeah. Do you feel good?
No.
I'm a comedian.
Yeah.
You are unwell.
It's chaos.
I think the other stuff just amplifies the chaos.
It's true though.
I'm just stuck with standard chaos.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I'd be enough without what I have going on with Instagram in my brain all day.
Yeah.
Because I scroll.
There's people you think about and you just go, I don't even think about this person.
Exactly.
Well, that was the thing about.
Why am I here?
I know.
When it started with MySpace and Facebook and stuff like that,
the big sell people would be like,
oh my God, it's great.
I get to keep in touch with everybody I went to high school and college with.
And I was like, why?
The only people from then I want to be in touch with,
I'm in touch with.
You're friends with them.
You have money for them to find me.
The two people.
Huge problem.
It is true.
It's true.
I don't have Facebook and it's lovely.
Well, let's not get into this right now.
I can talk this over. So Blake
and his partner find a body washed up
That's what this podcast is about, right?
I use it for my mommy groups.
Okay, leave me alone.
They find a body
washed up out of the tunnels underneath Gotham.
He recognizes it as that of a kid staying
at the St.
Swithin's orphanage.
We learned that until recently,
the orphanage had been funded by the Wayne Foundation and that Blake himself had grown up there.
This felt like,
I don't care.
The orphanage through line.
Yeah.
Wasn't doing it.
And it wasn't strong enough.
Cause then by the end I was going,
what?
And then I'm now going,
oh,
okay.
It's not,
it's not in there very well.
You'll also notice an orphanage in
the Lego Batman movie. One of the
hallmarks of
millionaire Bruce Wayne's
kind of
in the larger
Batman stories is that he is
like an orphan, obviously,
and very tied into
the orphan population of
Gotham. You know what I mean?
He cares about the orphans.
He cares about them.
He supports them.
That's a through line of Batman stories.
They'll say there's a lot of orphans.
They make this a throwaway.
Yeah, I agree.
Considering it's just one place.
Doesn't it feel like there's a lot of orphans?
I mean, the whole population of Gotham is criminals and police officers.
And then people who have passed and their children are...
Yeah, from the criminals.
The children of the criminals and the policemen.
Yeah.
Because when they have that war later, I was like, what?
There's nobody left.
Nobody.
Besides people in the war.
How do they have this many?
Okay.
A few nights later, Selina walks into a bar with a drunk man whom she sits with at the
bar, prepared to hand over Bruce's fingerprints to Philip Stryver, dagger's right hand.
When she tries to get something in return, Stryver holds her at gunpoint. How do you say that? Stryver daggers right hand when she tries to get
something in return
Stryver
holds her at gunpoint
how do you say that
Stryver
Stryver
oh that was easy
holds her at gunpoint
and threatens her
Selina reveals that
she has withheld
the thumbprint
but hands over her cell phone
and tells Stryver
to hit send
and then her friend
Jen
Juno Temple
are they romantically involved
because there's a scene
later where Juno's
kind of like
hugging her from behind
and she's like
it's everything I want
yeah I couldn't tell
and then I was like
is she her like
her Robin
well I don't think so
I'm guessing
and this is
I'm not quite sure
but there is
a character
in the Catwoman
stories
which is
a woman
because Catwoman
comes from like
very hard life right she comes from very hard life,
right? She comes from a brutal life on the
streets. She is a
criminal. We only know the Michelle Pfeiffer.
Okay, so Catwoman is an awesome
character, and in comics
has had
huge arcs as both
a brutal foe
of Batman, and then also
incredible arcs
where they are in love.
Oh.
Where they are in love
and it is a problem
because neither will give up
their kind of
I like that.
dogged pursuit
of what they believe.
We saw that one image
of Batman going down
on Catwoman.
Yeah, we did see that.
What movie was that from?
Oh, no, no, no.
I think it was just
a fan art.
It was fan art that No, but who that from? Oh, no, no. I think it was just a fan art. It was fan art that...
No, but who...
Oh, was it?
Oh, it wasn't from...
It was an outtake.
It was in the Christopher Nolan one.
It was a deleted thing.
They're dark and gritty.
But it was somebody...
It was Adam West.
It was somebody famous who requested it be made.
Wait, have you watched any of Adam West's...
We watched one.
Okay, great.
Yeah, from watching the 1966 one or whatever.
It wasn't for me.
Yeah, no, it's wild. That was the first
Batman I saw. It was silly. That was on
reruns after school when I was
a kid was the old Batman. Anyway.
So I believe, so
Selina Kyle, Catwoman,
frequently has
another woman who
she has kind of saved from the streets
who is her kind of, she kind of is always helping her.
And I'm assuming Juno Temple is playing that character,
whose name I'm spacing right now.
But that's my guess.
And that woman doesn't always know Selina is Catwoman.
Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't.
That's the thing is like the stories can always change.
So in this one, everybody knows Bruce Wayne is
Batman at a certain point. Yeah.
That's sometimes the case in comic
stories. Sometimes not at all. I feel like in all
of the movies his
identity is revealed.
Yeah. Anyway
so Stryver decides
to shoot Selina anyway but then she reveals
that the drunk at the bar is actually the missing congressman
and that Stryver
has just unknowingly
used the congressman's cell phone
to send a message
to the police
which was wild
and then the police
and the SWAT team
they come
and then Selena
wow the acting in this
was pretty good
she was like running
running running
and then she was like
oh help me help me
I loved that
when she was like
great scream
they come in
and she goes
and then she's like
hey hey I'm fine
and then Selena just slinks out the front It was fun. Great scream. They come in and she goes, ah! And then she's like, hey, I'm fine.
And then Selena just slinks out the front door.
Yeah, and then Blake working fully right with backup.
And you follow Frenchman down into the sewers to search the tunnels.
Now, we get a lot of sewer play in this game. If you don't mind me interrupting for just one moment, just because we've just talked about the introduction or not the introduction but a great selena kyle kind of moment there are incredible catwoman stories
that are comic stories written by ed brubaker drawn by darwin cook that are some of the best
just because she doesn't have superpowers they're just straight crime stories they're like film noir
for jewel thieves because it's always that's her whole thing and she's not just jewels but you know
she's stealing big stuff.
And it's just crime stories.
And they're so beautifully drawn by Darwin Cook that if anybody is curious about looking into Batman comics or stuff like that, I'm happy to recommend stuff.
But in specific, those comics from recent years are great.
Cool.
Did you watch the Halle Berry Catwoman?
I did, yeah.
How did this get made, actually?
Oh, no. It's bad? No good. It's a movie just about catwomen. It's deeply bad. Ite Berry Catwoman? I did. Yeah. How did this get made, actually? Oh, no.
Because it's bad.
No good.
It's a movie just about cat.
It's deeply bad.
It's called Catwoman?
It's a catwoman.
It's a standalone catwoman movie.
But what you just described sounds like a good movie.
It could have been.
Like a film noir, jewel-themed heist movie.
Oh, it would be great if someone would do that.
It would be awesome if someone would do that.
Who's your ideal catwoman to play?
Sorry.
It's interesting.
So Zoe Kravitz plays Catwoman in the Rob Pattinson,
Matt Reeves' recent The Batman movie.
The most recent incarnation of Batman.
And I thought she was really good.
I don't know.
I'm trying to think.
One of the things that is
so compelling about Catwoman
is that she is morally so gray.
Well, I like that she was like, I like guns
or whatever.
She kills without remorse.
She does not share Batman's code
at all. She is
ruthless. In these streets.
And that was kind of fun in some of these fights.
I thought Anne Hathaway did a very good job with the
fighting and all the stuff. It was really
smooth looking. She was believable to me me and i also thought she was sultry enough like who was
it that we had where i was like it wasn't i can't think um as cat woman i think i had a cat woman
maybe i just was like wanting to tell fifer yeah but then was there another one good um i don't
think so i think no from the oh the old old one Oh, yeah. Who was Julie something?
Oh, you had Julie...
Yeah.
Who was very pretty, but she didn't...
Oh, no, I'm even thinking about Poison Ivy.
I wanted her to be sexier and bring it more in that.
Yeah, where I thought that...
She loved it.
I thought that Anne Hathaway brought that more in this.
I guess I just didn't like all the jokes the men made
about her like heels
and outfit.
I didn't like that either
but then I liked her comebacks.
I guess
because the more I think about it
I'm like no no
she did do a good job.
I just felt like the people
in the movie were like
too hot.
They were disrespecting her a lot.
And I was like stop it.
Like can you walk in those heels?
Yeah I was like
she's walking just fine.
Yeah I know.
She's like kicking your ass
and then you fucking bitch.
We still have so much more to get through.
So we haven't even gotten to fucking Bane's whole life.
Oh, man.
So they're suddenly ambushed in the sewers by thugs and Gordon ends up cornered alone by two of Bane's men.
They knock him out, drag him deeper into the tunnel to a cavern with a waterfall where they deposit him in front of Bane.
One of the thugs empties Gordon's pockets, taking Gordon's badge while at
pistol and Gordon's speech about Harvey Dent
and Bane looks over Gordon's speech, deciding
that it is useful to his plans.
Gordon
rolls off the platform and into the waterway
and Bane's men open fire on
Gordon as he floats away, hitting him several times.
Bane shoots one of the thugs with Gordon's
gun and throws him in the river. Blake manages
to find... Who's Blake?
Joe Gordon-Levitt.
Yeah.
And see...
No, no, I agree.
We don't get enough.
There's a lot of names.
We don't get enough about him, I felt.
I felt he was kind of just thrown at us.
And then at the end, there's that twist about him
and I'm going, we'll get to that, but I'm just like...
There are arguably too many characters in this movie.
There's so many.
And I was kind of like, why do I...
The whole time I'm kind of going, why is he helping?
What's he doing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Blake manages to find Gordon at the outlet of the sewers, soaked and barely clinging
to life and rushes him to the hospital.
Bruce tracks down Selena, follows her to a gala costume ball, which he loves to go to,
where he uses a remote in his pocket to shut down the cameras of the paparazzi gathered
outside.
He cuts in with Selena's dancing partner.
They slowly waltz. She reveals her aim is to see the the cameras of the paparazzi gathered outside. He cuts in with Selena's dancing partner. They slowly waltz.
She reveals her aim
is to see the rich lose
and the city burn.
He takes back
his mother's pearl necklace.
Selena kisses him
in the process
pickpocketing his valet ticket
and takes off with his car.
I don't want them
to be romantic in this film.
Not in this one.
I'm not feeling it.
This one feels wild.
It feels...
This was not even...
That was not a real kiss
but when they do have a real kiss later I went, no. I just didn't want it. Yeah, I didn't feeling it. This one feels wild. It feels, this was not even like, that was like not a real kiss, but when they do have a real kiss later, I went, no.
I just didn't want it.
Yeah, I didn't want it either, but I got it because I think they were like, the world's going to end.
Yeah, but it was just kind of like, they haven't had a vibe.
I agree.
They haven't had a vibe because I do feel like this movie instead chooses to do the Bruce Wayne Batman, Marianne Cototillard who is playing Talia Al Ghul.
Who is a huge character in the Batman mythology.
Really?
She's so teeny tiny in this movie.
I know.
So when you're watching it, you're going, I know where this is going?
A little bit, yes.
But in a way that I thought she was great.
Because I love Marianne Cotillard.
Yeah.
If you want to watch an incredible Marion Cotillard performance, the Jacques Odiard movie, Flesh and Bone.
Oh, I've never seen that.
Absolutely incredible.
But she plays Talia al Ghul, who's Ra's al Ghul's daughter, who after Ra's al Ghul dies takes over what in the comics is called the League of Assassins, what's called the League of Shadows here,
and is the mother of the current Robin, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, and Talia al Ghul's son,
who is a child who is raised inside the League of Assassins.
So there's a version where they have a baby together.
Correct.
Okay.
And that baby is Robin?
And that baby is then Talia al Ghul becomes fed up with Damien and sends him to Bruce when he's like 12 years old.
Bruce Wayne doesn't even know he has a son.
What?
And a trained murderous assassin son shows up at his doorstep and is like, I work for you now.
Oh.
So it's kind of like the Robin from Batman and Robin
where he's like, I'm staying around.
Whatever Chris.
Chris O'Donnell.
Chris O'Donnell, yeah.
Until I get to NCIS Miami, I'm staying right here.
And you're my daddy.
Okay, well, the next day,
Bruce goes to his company offices
to meet with Lucius Fox, Morgan Freeman,
who we love from the movies.
We're very happy to see him.
But I thought he left in the last one because of the phone screen thing.
Wasn't he like, I will not do this?
And then he's like, just enter your name at the end.
And he's like, OK.
And then he did, and then he walked away.
I thought he left.
I love your Morgan Freeman impression.
Yeah, it's really solid.
Thank you.
It's on my SNL reel.
But I thought he quit, no's really solid. Thank you. It's on my SNL reel. But I thought he, like, quit, no?
I don't remember that. I don't remember
exactly, but you're right. Yes, he was, like,
very anti... Anti this, like, equipment.
But I think that the
greater good that this all
turned into has... I don't know. But you're
right. Well, Morgan
tells him that his
majority ownership of Wayne Enter enterprises keeps daggett from
taking over the company he also shows him a new project they're working on with a long name that
fox simply nicknames the bat while doing martial arts in the bat cave to get back into shape he was
like okay bruce learns from alfred about bane's past that he used to be a member of the league
of shadows trained by raw ghoulould, Bruce's old mentor.
Bane was excommunicated for the group for extreme behavior beyond the boundaries
of even Raul Gould.
Raz?
Raz Al Gould?
People say Raz Al Gould, people say Raisha Gould.
I don't know.
There's a whole, in fandom, there's a lot of like,
how do you pronounce this?
I see.
It's like, well, watch the movie.
Yeah.
In the movie, they are saying Raz Al Gould.
Raz Al Gould.
Alfred tries to talk Bruce out of going back out as Batman to protect the city from Bane.
That day, Bane and three of his men carry out an assault and robbery of the Gotham Stock Exchange.
There was a lot of mass shooting in this film that made me feel sad.
I will say.
There's a lot of shooting in all of them.
Watching.
The last time I saw this movie was a very long time ago.
Yeah.
The last time I saw this movie was a very long time ago.
And so much of it in looking at it through the lens of today looked so much more like the January 6th insurrection.
It feels like it happened. It looks so much like the civil unrest and increasing social violence that is happening in our world now in a way that was not present in the world.
These movies were made during like peacetime.
I googled when did
mass shootings start really because
I remember of course like Columbine
but like the chart if you
google that the chart of like
the growth of that is so crazy and
this is a period where that was not it was like maybe one or
two a year. Oh yeah. And you knew who
the shooters were. You knew everything
and now there is I believe a new mass shooting every four days. Oh I think it's like every day. Oh is. And you knew who the shooters were. You knew everything. And now there is, I believe, a new mass shooting
every four days. Oh, I think it's
like every day. Oh, is it every single day?
Maybe. Yes. Yeah, because it's like four people.
Because sometimes it'll be like two a day. It's really wild.
It's really crazy. And it changes how you,
I mean, it changes our whole world, but just like watching
something like this is like not as like light
or anything. You know, back in the day, I feel like
it's sort of fun to watch a crazy scene.
It's like, yeah,
you could be at work
and someone could come
right in and shoot you.
It's really scary.
Right when you're
in the stock exchange
and you're Glenn Powell.
Right when you're
young Glenn Powell.
Oh, that was Glenn Powell?
Yeah.
Oh.
Getting a shoe shine.
Next thing you know,
goodbye.
I honestly had to cut
the part where I called that out
because I was like,
it's too long,
but it is Glenn Powell.
We have to get going.
I will not let you cut it out.
It's important.
He's important.
So Bain and his crew are there to download information from one of the stockbroker's
laptops and head for the exit, bursting out of the building, riding on motorcycles with
a hostage strapped to each bike.
Bain and his men weave through the police cars and over barricades to escape.
Police pursue them in a tunnel, but they're ordered by Deputy Commissioner Foley to drop
back to avoid endangering hostages.
Suddenly they notice the tunnel lights
behind them going out by themselves
and as the tunnel goes dark, Batman
appears on a bat pod.
That was cool.
And then one of the hostages just
flew up in the air and never came back down.
Yeah.
Like Prince's guitar in the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame ceremony to
tribute to George Harrison. He just threw it up.
Have you ever seen that? No. Can you pull it up
right now? Prince,
George Harrison,
I think Tom Petty
might also help you get there. This is
an incredible video. Okay.
I'm so delighted that
I'm getting to show you guys a thing
that is like internet
fame.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
In a way that I just
happen to have seen.
So this is a tribute
to George Harrison,
the Beatle George Harrison
who's passed away
at this point.
And so it's all the,
it's the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame ceremony.
So there's an all-star
cast of characters on stage.
And then Prince comes in to do the guitar solo.
So wait until you see Prince's red hat come in.
Okay, so there he is.
So Prince is not on stage for the majority of the song.
So it's a whole cast of characters.
There's Jeff Lynne from ELO, Tom Petty.
I know none of these people.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great.
Prince is literally on fire.
The solo is incredible.
And you can see it breathes life into everybody.
It's awesome.
Complete genius.
We're almost there. We're almost there. He's awesome. Complete genius. We're almost there.
We're almost there.
He's planning.
He keeps lifting it up.
Something's going to happen with that.
Look at Danny Harrison.
He's falling down.
It has to be pushed back up.
He's falling off of the stage.
He's so cool.
It's actually kind of sickening.
He's so cool.
He's so confident and good.
Tambourine guy in the back's going crazy.
He's like, I want attention too.
Where does it go?
Where did it go?
He throws his guitar straight up and it does not come down.
Where did it go?
Where did it go?
What was the plan?
This episode is called Where Did It Go?
What was the plan?
It's so funny.
Is it attached to a string?
It just goes, goodbye.
Goodbye.
That was dope.
Don't you feel like Prince can just do that?
Yeah, he can.
And that's how that man left that motorcycle.
That was amazing boy i
love that clip and it's related because prince did all the music for batman uh tim burton batman
and boy was that an iconic bat dance was like we still haven't seen bat no no we don't really know
ubiquitous in in the life it was on the radio. The video was huge.
Everything.
Wait, you've not seen Bat?
No.
Can you pull up the Bat dance video?
Yes.
Yeah, we do need to know that.
I guess we should.
People have mentioned it and we just haven't seen it.
This was, like, again, pre-internet and all that.
The only access you had to stuff like this was MTV.
Yeah.
I'm going to scrub forward again just so we're in it.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
What?
What is?
Wait.
Nothing could have prepared me for this.
Why is he like Michael Jackson?
This is wild.
This is like.
I can't believe I've never seen this.
This is fun.
This is huge.
This is like a seven minute video. This is fun. This is huge.
This is like a seven minute video.
This is like thriller.
It is like thriller.
First of all, why don't we do things like this anymore?
I don't know.
This is a multi-million dollar music video.
But I feel like if people did it, people would listen.
Beyonce did the lemonade visuals and I think we all watched it.
Yeah.
Like it feels like silly things, like him doing Batman characters and stuff.
Yes.
Feels like it was exactly that moment in time and no one wants to do that now. Well, there was also, this is also a moment in time where doing little movies as videos
was massively impactful culturally.
You know, like MTV was truly every young person was obsessed with MTV.
So your taste was formed by these short form.
You listen to the radio and you watched MTV.
And so not just that there were videos, but that there were high-end videos that had
cinematic qualities or whatever
were super compelling.
Yeah. I love it.
Thank you for that education, honestly.
I hope I'm not once again coming in
and mansplaining Batman
or whatever as a real
piece of shit. Literally learning.
It's explaining it. It's not mansplaining.
We don't know more than you. Great. I love it. I'm having the best time. I's explaining it. It's not mansplaining. We don't know more than you.
Great.
I love it.
I'm having the best time.
I'm so glad.
Good.
You're the best guest.
Where do we leave off in this?
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
So Batman comes back.
One of the cops is like, oh, shit.
Look at that.
And then Foley is eager to take down Batman.
So while the police focus on catching him Bane is able to make
His escape back
To his hideout
In another sewer
Just as Foley
Who is Foley
Thinks he's gotten
Batman cornered
The bat emerges
And Batman's able
To get away
Oh Foley is
Matthew Modine's character
Who's now the commissioner
Of police
That Jim Gordon is off
Yes
I just learned from Instagram
That Matthew Modine
Is the girl from
Millie Bobby Brown's
Godfather. What?
What was that sentence?
Matthew Modine is Millie
Bobby Brown's Godfather. Oh,
okay. From prior to Stranger Things
or because of their relationship on Stranger Things
he was made her Godfather? I don't know.
Probably because of Stranger Things. He's on
Stranger Things? I would assume so, but that would be even weirder.
Is he in season one? What's that? Is he in season one? Yeah. He's on Stranger Things? I would assume so, but that would be even weirder. Wait, is he in season one?
He's like, what's that?
Is he in season one?
Yeah.
He's the white haired guy who's in her institution.
He plays her dad, right?
Or like the papa?
He's like the father figure for the bad guy.
Maybe they call him that and he's not literally her godfather from birth or something.
I don't know.
Yeah.
They went on a road trip together.
She was on Seth Meyers' podcast.
These are the facts I know. Okay.
He ate a dog treat.
Look,
he ate a dog treat.
He fell asleep.
I don't know what's real.
He fell asleep and ate a dog treat.
I consumed this this morning
while also doing 10,000 other things
and now I just gave it to you.
You consumed the Millie Bobby Brown
Seth Meyers podcast?
No,
I consumed a clip of it
because I follow Seth Meyers
on Instagram.
And he posted this clip.
And then she's like, Matthew McDean's my godfather.
And we went on a road trip.
She's British?
Yes.
I'm sorry, was this whole story just so you could do a British accent?
No.
I will bring that out whenever next year.
Well done.
Wow, I'm Bane, mommy.
Interesting.
Okay, so at his penthouse, Daggett is celebrating the successful operation at the stock exchange.
Selina breaks in through a window, demands to know where the clean slate program is,
which has the potential to expunge her criminal record.
Which is wild.
She fights all of Daggett's men and jumps out of the window, holding Daggett hostage,
but is soon surrounded by Bane's men.
Batman soon appears and they fight Bane's men and escape
together. So the thing they're trying to get
off the computers all the time
is like this clean slate program
that erases your history
from the world.
Which is confusing. That's what she wants.
That's what she wants.
As payment. That's not what they
want. They don't want that
program at all. What they want is the bomb thing.
So it's going when it's like downloading.
So they're saying to her, just for real basic plot stuff,
go and get Bruce Wayne's fingerprints off of his safe,
is how she does it, so that they can have his authorization
via thumbprint to go to the stock exchange,
cripple Wayne Enterprises financially so that Marion Cotillard is put in charge of the company.
And in doing so, they give her access to the device that is not a bomb but can be turned into a bomb using the scientists that they captured,
kidnapped rather, in the first scene on the airplane.
They took that guy, then they made it such
that every domino fell into place
so that they could get their hands on the thing,
turn it into a bomb.
Anne Hathaway's payment was this other thing.
Okay, okay.
Wow.
That's really important.
That cleared up a lot.
There's a lot of MacGuffins,
there's a lot of characters, and there's a lot
of contradictory wants
from people. They don't all want
the same stuff. Right, because I kind of was thinking
the computer, iPad, whatever
they were looking at the whole time. I was like, that's all about
this clean slate program. Okay, I see now.
Thank you. So, Selina
soon vanishes, but not before Batman learns
that she sold Bruce's fingerprints
to Daggett, and Daggett was behind the stock exchange robbery back at the Batcave.
Bruce and Fox decode the hard drive.
He and Alfred argue about his decision to return as Batman.
I loved this.
And Alfred reveals the contents of Rachel's farewell letter to Bruce and decides to leave
Wayne Manor for good.
You like to call it Bruce Manor.
I know.
Bruce Manor.
Bruce Manor. Alfred is the like to call it Bruce Manor. I know. Bruce Manor.
Alfred is the heart of this franchise. And honestly
I do enjoy his
arc in this where like the thing at the end
where he sees him. It's very sweet.
It's like he's a very
lovable actor. Yes. Michael Caine
is truly incredible.
And this is a very emotionally
available Alfred which is not always the case.
A lot of times Alfred is depicted as a kind of, you know, from obviously early on, like the uptight British butler, you know, kind of detached a little bit.
But in stories now has become a father figure in a way that is.
And I think Michael Caine does the best heartbreaking,
the quivering voice.
I was like,
I failed you.
If you've ever,
that sucked.
I mean,
it was like good.
Yeah.
Ever watched any of the trip movies?
The Steve Coogan,
Rob Brydon.
That's what I always think of
because those are so funny.
There are these movies
that are these two guys,
Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon
who are actual actors
that you would recognize
from a million things
and they are
they are them
going on a road trip
one is in England
where they're from
one is in Italy
and I think one
I can't remember
is in Greece or something
I can't remember
anyway
and all they do
is go to beautiful
fancy dinners
and do bits
it's so enjoyable
and one of the bits
they continuously do
is Who Does the Better
Michael Caine.
And they're both really good.
Oh, incredible.
And one of them,
they do young Michael Caine
and then they specifically do
these movies,
Michael Caine,
as he starts to slow down
and get into like,
that boy.
You know,
like it's very funny.
I got to work with Rob Brydon
and he was really cool.
Oh, that's cool.
He does Man in a Box, which is, but I do this. I'm stuck in a closet and I can't get with Rob Brydon and he was really cool. Oh, that's cool. He does Man in a Box,
which is,
but I do this.
I'm stuck in a closet
and I can't get out of the closet.
I'm stuck inside.
You have to let me
out of the closet.
I'm stuck.
And so I got to do that
with him,
which was really cool.
That's really good.
He throws his voice back
and he's like,
I'm a man in a box.
I can't do it.
He does a thing too.
That's very funny.
Bruce learns from Fox
that in the course of the robbery,
Bane made stock trades
to bankrupt Wayne Enterprises,
meaning Wayne Enterprises
is about to fall into Daggett's hands.
Bruce and Fox show Miranda
the fusion reactor
who intends to use it
to generate clean energy
for the entire city.
Bruce worries someone
could turn the reactor
into a nuclear weapon.
Not knowing Bane
has in fact kidnapped
Dr. Pavel for this purpose.
Bruce wants Miranda
to become acting CEO
of Wayne Enterprises
to safeguard the reactor.
Which is wild
because he barely talked to her.
She's like,
I keep throwing these parties
and you don't come.
He's like,
I don't want to.
Why would he give her the,
I don't know.
I think we're meant to believe
that he trusts her
due to like,
they try and seed in
some sort of like,
she's been working with them
all along for clean energy
and her clean
energy initiative and it seems to be they're trying to tell us she is a trusted um ally of
theirs um but they are telling us not showing us in any meaningful way so when i was watching it
this time i was i also was like oh this isn't landing it doesn't make sense why he would trust
her yeah anyway Daggett demands
to see Bane
Daggett calls Bane
pure evil
but Bane replies
that he is
unnecessary evil
and proceeds to break
Daggett's neck
and throws his body
into a dumpster
in Gordon's hospital room
Blake reports
on the discovery
of Daggett's body
and his suspicion
that he was associated
with Bane
Foley still is skeptical
of Bane's existence
but Gordon
impressed with Blake's
hard work, promotes Blake
to detective. Back home, Bruce finds
Miranda waiting for him, and they're
like in the rain, and they spend, they fuck.
They fuck in front of a fire. They fuck, they fuck, they fuck.
And I was like, wait, what? Oh my god, they fuck.
They just say fuck. Oh my god, they did it.
They did. They just did. But I was
like, why is he fucking this lady?
He better fuck her if he's going to
give away all his money and not have, I mean, it they should have a relationship i want to see what this love is but
it just it came out of nowhere no i mean i liked it it was pretty horny oh yeah but i was like this
is so out of left field i would have loved a i would have loved what i believe they would maybe
do now which was like an r-rated version of this movie where there is much more kind of overt sexual tension
overt kind of
a lot of the deaths
are really
robbed of impact
because they're done
in big giant wide shots
bloodless
no
like they
oh there isn't any blood
everything
everything is for
PG-13 in this movie
everything is to assure them
that even though
hundreds and hundreds of people are being killed throughout the movie, it is still for 13 year olds.
Yeah.
I would like to see the romance build for sure.
Me too.
I agree.
Well, OK, let me see.
Where do we go?
While Miranda was sleeping.
Bruce sneaks out as Batman to meet Selina in a subway tunnel.
Batman says he has her clean slate program but demands to see Bane.
They fight a few of Bane's henchmen that they come up against.
But soon, Batman finds himself trapped in the tunnel with Bane, realizing Selina has betrayed him to protect herself.
And this is where I was like, surely this movie's wrapping up.
And it doesn't.
Yeah, I think it doesn't for a while.
No, we got another hour.
No, Batman has to live in a cave for a while.
But Batman's tactics prove useless against a trained League of Shadows member like Bane, who mocks him.
While they fight, Bane reveals he knows Batman's real identity and that he is in Gotham to fulfill Ra's al Ghul's destiny of destroying the city.
Bane beats Batman into submission.
When he lifts him up and cracks him on his knee,
I literally was like,
oh my God.
Can you look up that panel of comics?
This is an incredibly famous
comic story from like my youth.
It's wild.
That's cool.
Which is Bane breaking Batman's back.
Which is what he does.
And it's brutal.
And it was crazy in the comics.
That's cool that they did an exact...
And the thing about Bane is,
that's not in this movie at all,
but that is very much a part of the comics,
is the mask...
In the movie, it suggests he needs it to breathe or whatever,
but the mask and all the tubing around it
give him something.
I think it's called venom.
It's not called venom it's called something
it's like a juice
he gets
he gets
so he hits a button
and like it's almost like
steroids
adrenaline steroids
so Bane is capable
of getting
much much
stronger
during fights
he's an incredibly
he's like
almost like a Hulk
type of character
I wouldn't have minded
seeing more of that.
Yes.
Because I feel like sort of what I was imagining was like something was really fucked up with his mouth.
And it was just like, I didn't really get what the thing was.
Well, I looked it up.
He like was broken, I guess, with the League of Shadows people.
And then he's getting like anesthesia or something to like deaden the pain that he goes
through. I don't think it
helps him breathe. No, no, I think it makes it so that
he cannot feel pain. Yes.
So he feels no pain and is just
like a, just a brutal
death machine. So when they like
punch it or something, because there's a point where it gets kind of
broken. Yeah. And then he stops
getting it so then he like weakens. So now he can feel.
It's not that he's breathing or you
know not breathing well it's that he is yeah they they the in the pit they explain it i think it's
in the pit they explain it like they you know he's in constant pain except for the breathing
yeah yeah it's like he's getting air percocets yeah okay right the mask is is is uh from the sackler family
another michael keaton project so blake spots selena getting into a cab recognizes her from
the shootout he tails her to the airport manages to apprehend and interrogate her learning that
she's trying to escape from bane and she doesn't know if Batman's alive.
He arrests her and throws her into Blackgate Prison where she gets to kick some prisoner's asses.
They're like,
want to hold your hand?
That's another one of those things
where she's being sexualized all the time.
And then does a cartwheel off his hand.
And he's like,
ouch!
Ow, bitch!
He doesn't call her a bitch
because it's PG-13, I guess.
He just was like, ow!
Bruce wakes up in a foreign prison, still in pain from the fight.
The prison sits at the bottom of a deep circular shaft.
The only way in or out is to climb the stone walls.
When Bruce asks Bane why he did not just kill him,
Bane taunts Bruce that he intends to kill his soul first,
making him witness Gotham City's downfall.
The prison is where Bane claims to have been born and is notorious as hell on earth from
which nobody has managed to escape.
One of the prisoners tells Bruce that a child had once escaped, the offspring of a mercenary
who'd fallen in love with a warlord's daughter.
Bruce realized that the child must have been Bane.
Bruce sees several prisoners attempt to escape by using a rope climbing up the shaft towards
the light, but fail to clear the final jump onto the ledge and fall, hitting the walls
of the shaft as they're suspended in midair.
So when he's in that little hole,
who's that man who's like taking care of him?
And he's like, get up and walk.
Who's that man?
Yeah.
That's just another prisoner?
These are just other prisoners, I believe.
I'm not sure why they're there or what the...
Yeah, and they all speak English.
All speak English, which, you know,
this is very comics.
This is, to me, very comics this is to me very comics
it's like
it doesn't matter
you know like
and maybe they're not
speaking English
but it's being translated
for us by the movie
you know like that
well in comics
there are usually like
brackets around things
that are in a different language
but we need you
to understand it
or whatever
so
yeah this is
these are just
the other prisoners
okay back in Gotham Miranda and Fox arrive at Wayne Enterprises for a board meeting or whatever. So, yeah, these are just the other prisoners. Okay.
Back in Gotham, Miranda and Fox arrive at Wayne Enterprises
for a board meeting on the reactor project,
but are met by Bane and his men holding the board of directors hostage.
Bane and his men take Fox, Miranda, and Fredericks down into the tunnels.
Inside, Bane orders Fox to turn the reactor on
and forces Dr. Pavel to remove the reactor's core,
which renders the bomb unstable and will cause it to melt down within five minutes.
Five months.
Excuse me.
That's so funny.
So I was going to say, the longest five minutes of my life.
Why hasn't the bomb gone off?
There's snow on the ground.
They said five minutes.
They said five minutes, and it is winter.
Oh, my God.
So much has happened.
So much has happened.
I think it just starts fully.
We can speed through this.
We gotta zip through some of this.
Okay, so Bane's men arrive at Heinz Field.
And I love that it's Heinz because get those.
What is it?
Pratt & Schoen Smith.
Where a Gotham City football game is taking place.
A child is singing and Bane's like.
Can I just say the child, while he was a beautiful singer,
everyone was so happy
to watch him sing. They were so polite.
He was like...
And I was like, this is kind of funny. You wouldn't
cut to one person who's making a joke to their friend
about how this little boy's like...
I was like, everyone's peaceful,
happily watching him. I was like,
this is the most polite audience.
That is very funny.
Anyone's ever.
Beautiful voice.
Even, I know he compliments the voice.
Even Bane is a fan.
Yeah, he's like, I love him.
Before he blows, this was a trailer scene,
the blowing up of the football field.
Gotta be.
I mean, it is a great scene.
Also, while this is happening,
every single cop in Gotham is underground for some reason.
They're being forced to go down there to do something.
Well, they think they're going to get Bane and all his men.
Then Batman realizes that the whole thing is scheduled to blow up through the cement.
Like they put the bombs in the cement.
And so he puts a stop to it.
I'm trying to jump a little bit.
But Batman doesn't figure that out.
I'm sorry.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
He finds it out when he meets those two people.
And he's like, hey, this isn't a coincidence.
I'm a cop.
And I know that something's going on.
There's no such thing as coincidences.
Hey, I saw you at that other place.
And the guy's like, what?
He's just like driving around.
And he's like, hey, didn't I see you three scenes ago?
He's the only cop above ground.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's all up to him.
And this guy's the only truck driver in town.
Which is so wild.
So Bane, okay, I'm just going to skip a little bit.
Bane reads Gordon's speech revealing the truth about Harvey Dent
and declares the prisoners free as the man who drew up the Dent Act himself
was a murderer and a madman.
So this is, okay, this is, I think, when we're getting into the whole sewer?
Or no, do we already get past that?
Because I just feel like...
Well, now we have a time jump.
Now there's a time jump.
Now it becomes winter.
84 days into the siege.
The army slips an intelligence team into Gotham, disguised as relief workers, under the command of Captain Mark Jones.
We see Cillian Murphy again.
As a scarecrow.
So brief.
Who's now a judge.
He's a judge.
I love this.
And his suit has little things coming out.
Because he's like,
I'm becoming a scarecrow.
They built all the desks up
so that it's a gigantic desk.
Yeah, which is very funny.
And then there's lots of just papers
and then he's like,
death or exile.
So Fox, Miranda and Jones
are meeting to talk about the bomb.
Fox admits he could reconnect
the core to the reactor
to re-stabilize it.
And then a bunch of Bane's henchmen
ambush them and open fire.
And then Bruce is still in this prison.
He's watching shit on TV.
And then he breaks the TV
and I was like,
now you don't have the TV.
You can't see.
You broke it
from that one thing you didn't like.
Just because you didn't like the news?
Just wait a little bit
and watch reruns of Gilmore Girls.
Could be something good coming.
Yeah, Rory and Lorelai are coming.
Bruce is like, Stars Hollow needs a new town council.
Taylor is corrupt.
So Bruce's anger builds.
He starts rigorously training so he can escape, but he falls down and shit.
And then he realizes the child escaped without the safety of the rope and chooses not to use the rope in the third attempt.
Reaches a pivotal point requiring a jump and a stream of bats flow from the tunnel inside the rope and chooses not to use the rope in the third attempt, reaches a pivotal point requiring a jump, and
a stream of bats flow from the tunnel
inside the cave and startle him, but he jumps and he
makes it out, throwing the rope down behind him
so all the other prisoners can escape as well.
He returns to Gotham as Batman. Yay!
He manages to gain trust from Selina
and gets to Miranda and Fox by letting
Bane's men capture him as
Fox's access to Bruce's backup
bat suit. This was wild. This was such an easy plan and it happened flawlessly.
To escape, Selina comes in and declares to the mercenaries
that Bane wants Bruce and Fox by themselves.
She knocks out the mercenaries and undoes Bruce and Fox's handcuffs.
Batman saves Gordon and some of the surviving cops,
simultaneously lighting a huge Batman symbol,
letting everyone know Gotham and Gotham know that he's back.
Seeing the symbol in the sky,
Bane is shocked and tells his men to keep a closer eye on Miranda.
So then Batman and Bane fight.
He punches Bane's mask.
Some of the tubes get all undone and he's like.
And then then we find out that Miranda is the child or whatever.
She's Talia.
Yeah.
She escapes from the hell on earth prison.
It was sort of like the doctor was a woman.
Like he's like a child escaped through here.
He's like must have been Bane. It's like, a child escaped through here. He's like, must have been Bane.
It's like, childs can be girls.
Childs can be girls.
Childs can be girls.
Childs can be girls.
Bane had been a prisoner there and was her protector.
And then we get to see, what's the real actor's name?
Tom Hardy.
We get to see his actual face for god little seconds two seconds and then the prison doctors they repair the damage because uh he was
like hurting stuff and then talia comes back and then she's like oh no and then bane's trained by
the league of shadows and then talia's intention is to take revenge on batman for killing her
father as well as finishing the mission of destroying Gotham. So she's like worse than him.
She's like more evil than him.
Well, she like hated her father,
but then she like liked him again after Batman killed him.
Yeah.
That's what she's, that's what the argument is, yes.
Which is wild.
So Bane's about to execute Batman with a shotgun,
which I've wondered why that didn't happen
to every other movie.
I'm like, he's got a mouth hole right there.
Selena crashes into the lobby on the Batpod,
mortally wounds Bane by blasting him with the pod's cannons.
Talia and Barsad walk out to the tumblers where Foley shoots Barsad.
Who's Barsad?
One of the henchmen.
Yeah, he's the kind of main henchman who you see a couple of times.
Okay.
Soon he and several other officers are killed
when Talia orders her tumbler's driver to gun them down.
She takes control of the truck, goes off the road, and crashes.
And she's fatally wounded because she wasn't
wearing a seatbelt.
When her last one was alive, she explains how
her access to the reactor chamber allowed her to set
a timer to flood it, preventing the bomb from being returned
there. She dies, believing she had finally completed
her father's work and avenged his death.
I will say,
her death scene was a little lackluster.
Agree. And I feel like she just kind of was like,
hey, tried, but it's gonna happen.
And then she's just dead.
And then she died kind of funny.
Anyway, I'm talking.
And then just closed her little eyes and said, I won't do the rest of these lines.
And it's a bummer because that character
is a badass.
That character is incredible.
And so, what a missed opportunity.
Unless maybe perhaps there was a plan to go forward with other movies that she would come back in.
It's a misdirect or something like that.
But as it is a finished story, this is disappointing for a truly iconic Batman villain.
They introduced so much.
I feel like it should have been a one and two.
Yeah.
Like, to just make it two movies.
It's three hours already.
I think they were already in a position
where Christian Bale was like,
I don't want to do this anymore.
Fair.
And I think they were getting as much as they could.
It's a lot for him.
You'll notice he's not Batman a lot in this movie.
He is mostly, the trials and tribulations are him.
He's in costume, only a few key set pieces.
Interesting.
So Batman explains the bat has no autopilot.
He has to fly the bomb out of Gotham.
And this is when Selina kisses him.
I didn't think it was earned.
Before revealing to Gordon his true identity, Batman tells him who he really is.
He tells Gordon what the commissioner said to him when he was first orphaned as a young boy.
And so Gordon's like, I said that to Bruce Wayne.
He's like, oh, that's Bruce Wayne.
That means you are Bruce Wayne.
That also makes no sense.
Yeah.
A, because too many people in the movie have known it's Bruce Wayne.
Yeah.
First and foremost.
And second, over the course of those 20 to 30 years, how many little boys has he put his coat around to give them terrible news?
That's his job.
Right, right.
Like how – that's crazy.
He says that shit all the time.
He says that – Gotham City is 75 percent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's made up of a mostly orphan population.
Yeah.
And he's had to deal with all of them.
I wish he got it wrong.
He was like he was like John McCain.
Tom Matheson.
Just nobody.
We never heard of Tom Matheson the whole time.
I didn't think it was Tom Matheson. Just nobody we've ever heard of. That's been Tom Matheson the whole time? I didn't think it was Tom Matheson.
In this scene, I felt like Christian Bale was tired because his tongue was doing a lot of work.
His tongue!
Wait, no, it really was.
I noticed this the whole movie.
His mouth was doing different things.
Because I think the cowl is pushing down on his.
Oh.
And he's also doing a voice.
But it was getting.
They all do a Batman voice so that nobody will be like, hey, you sound like my friend
Bruce Wayne.
You know, so they all have to reflect their voices.
He just really pushed his teeth.
Yeah.
But there is something.
Yeah.
It's just like a juicy tongue hanging out.
Yeah.
And you can't see his teeth.
Yeah.
You only see tongue.
It's like weird.
It's real wild.
It is weird.
We're almost through the movie.
So with not much time left,
Batman attaches the bomb
to the bat
and flies away from the city
out into the bay.
The citizens of Gotham
watch as the weapon
detonates on the horizon.
Also, there's a scene
with children on a bus
where Joseph Gordon-Levitt
is with them.
I think they're orphans.
He tries to walk across
this bridge.
They're like, no, get out of here.
And they blow up the fucking bridge, which is just so rude.
And then it doesn't fall on either side of where they blew it up.
So everyone's fine on both sides.
That made no sense.
You should back away.
Everybody should be back.
Everyone's standing right by that.
It was so weird.
And all of this is just to disillusion Joe Gordon-Levitt
with the institutions of power.
Just like Bruce Wayne told him at the beginning.
Throws away his little badge.
Yeah.
And so that now he can become Robin.
Robin, which was a crazy reveal.
Yeah.
So a private funeral is held for Bruce.
Everyone cries.
I got a little weepy.
It was sad and confusing to me that they would kill him off.
And Gordon tells him that they will know that it was the Batman who saved them
and blah, blah, blah. So, okay, Bruce
dies. Majority of the estate is sold
with the money given to Alfred and the manor given to
the city of Gotham as a place for orphaned boys
to stay. Strangely, one of the Wayne
family treasures, a string of pearls, cannot be
located. And then Blake is given a duffel bag
as a part of Bruce's will
when presenting his ID, a clerk.
Do we see this line?
Yeah, we do.
But she goes, she's like,
you should use your real name.
Robin.
Robin.
Why should he use it?
She goes, I like that name.
I like it.
We, what?
Who are you and why are you telling me
what name to go by?
When Blake later opens the duffel,
he finds a spelunking rope
and GPS coordinates that lead him
to the entrance of the Batcave
where his light attracts a flurry of bats.
Back in Applied Sciences, Fox struggles to figure out what he could have done to make the autopilot functional.
He's surprised when the workers explain that the autopilot is functional.
Oh, I really didn't understand this part.
Bruce had gotten into work six months earlier.
Yeah, I don't think I understood it either.
So he left the Batplane.
That's how he sees Alfred later. That's how he's he sees uh alfred later that's how he like jumps
he was able to figure out autopilot okay um so then in the final shot we see blake walking
through a pool of water blake looks around as the floor starts to rise up oh and alfred sees
him in it bruce and selena in italy and so bruce and selena are a couple now which i also like
that's wait selena was in italy too yeah she's at the table with him
I just was like why
but at the end I was like can I have another
another Batman
I really like that they set up for like
Robin to appear
these are crazy
these go down pretty smooth
I enjoy watching them
this one was tougher for me
the first two before this, I liked much more.
Yeah, same.
And I will say, having now not watched this movie in many, many years, this was, I think,
is the, I like this the least of the three.
Yeah.
But this time, maybe it's just because I've now seen so many more worse superhero movies.
I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it.
I really enjoyed it,
maybe because I knew what was going to happen
and I wasn't as disappointed with certain things
that went ways that I wasn't happy with or whatever.
But watching this, I was like, oh, this is fun.
This is good.
Compared especially to true failures
inside the DC and Marvel cinematic universes
of truly letting massive characters
down you know so I
really enjoyed this even though to me
it's I agree the least
yeah it's long when you explain a bunch of
stuff I was like oh that could have been explored
so much more just make this into two
movies or it could have been simplified
much more don't do
all these things and tell a
that's what they do I will say
that's what they try and do
in the Matt Reeves
the Pattinson movie
okay
the Pattinson movie
is a pretty
straight story
you know
yes
I've seen it
oh yeah
I loved it
I don't remember anything
yeah yeah sure
I'm excited to watch it
but that's
I will say
that's a good comics movie
to me
yeah
it doesn't have to stay with you like, oh, my God.
Look at a comic book.
It's like a floppy, colorful.
It's supposed to be fun and ephemeral in a way.
It's not supposed to be like the best movie.
The idea that they tried to make it so that like, oh, we now have 10 best picture nominations because The Dark Knight specifically was slighted from the Oscars.
because The Dark Knight specifically was slighted from the Oscars.
And so The Dark Knight is why they increased the Best Picture nominations from 5 to 10 so that it could include big popular hits like The Dark Knight
inside of a nomination category that otherwise traditionally rewards
arthouse, indie kind of smaller movies anyway let's talk about the
awards that this film received and the reception the dark knight rises earned 1.081 billion dollars
worldwide it became the seventh highest grossing film of all time critics gave the film generally
favorable reviews it holds 87 percent on rotten tomatoes it was however the first batman movie
by christopher nolan that did not get any Academy Award nominations.
Some critics saw the film as upholding a conservative agenda, especially in light of the Occupy Wall Street movement that was taking place at the time of its release.
Nolan has denied the film criticizes the Occupy movement and insists that none of his Batman films are intended to be political.
He said, I've done as many.
I've had as many conversations with people who have seen the film the other way around.
We throw a lot of things against the wall to see if it sticks.
Time for some trivia.
No Wayne.
Tom Hardy standing at 5'9".
I love being privy to bits that have clearly been going on for months.
That you guys are confidently just barreling through, but to me sound categorically insane.
You're like, okay, turning the page, and no way.
And I'm like, okay, I guess this is part of the show.
It's our trivia portion.
This is trivia.
It's Tom Hardy, he itty bitty, he fine nine.
What?
He had to wear three inch lifts to make his character Bane
appear as tall or taller than co-stars
Christian Bale,
Morgan Friedman,
and Sir Michael Caine.
And again,
always shocked
when I'm taller
than someone.
I'm like,
I'm taller than Tom Hardy?
Oh yeah.
Well you're taller
than I would say
98% of people
in this town.
I guess that's true
but I just don't think
of myself as being,
I mean I think of myself
as tall but I think
of movie stars
as being taller than me.
Yes.
So that's the issue.
But it's a population that is disproportionately shorter. I know. Why? You think of movie stars as being taller than me. Yes. So that's the issue. But it's a population that is disproportionately shorter.
I know.
Why?
You think of them as these big totemic figures in our culture.
So they must be big and towering.
And then you run into them or you see them out in the world or you work with them and you're like, oh, wait a minute.
They just carried you to set in a backpack.
Thomas said his Bane voice was inspired by a legendary British bare knuckle boxer named Bartley Gorman.
It's like a tongue twister.
Who called himself the king of the gypsies.
Got a lot of problems there.
We have a short video of that if we want to see.
Do we want to see, Tom?
The Batman or the Bat-Suit Assistant of 110 separate pieces.
And we know, you don't have to tell us.
We certainly know we're not supposed to be saying gypsies.
Yes. You don't need to tell us. we certainly know we're not supposed to be saying gypsies. Yes.
You don't need to tell us.
We can't say that.
We absolutely know that was a quote from someone else.
Oh, yeah.
That was in quotation marks.
Thank you for saying that, Jason.
The bat suit consisted of 110 separate pieces.
That's way too many.
The cowl was sculpted from a cast of Christian Bale's face and head to become a perfect fit for Bale.
And that seems like one.
So where are the other 109 pieces?
I don't know.
That's crazy.
During production in Pittsburgh, a local man was arrested for attempting to steal an unmarked
police car.
He said he was an actor and that his crime was actually a scene for the movie.
Okay.
Around 10,000 extras were used to shoot the football scene in Heinz Field in Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania.
Some of the Pittsburgh Steelers played football players.
I wondered if they were real football players. That's fun. While former
Steelers coach Bill Cowher
appeared as the coach of Pittsburgh
National. Oh, this is going to be fun.
Luke R. Ravenstall
played a kicker.
Thomas Toole, CEO of the
movie's production company, Legendary Pictures, is part
owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh, that's funny.
Oh, wow. Okay, we're going to take a break,
see how it was so far from the other break. Yeah, so's funny. Okay, we're going to take a break, see how it was so far from the other break.
Yeah, so, so far.
And we're going to be back
with a little more Dark Knight Rises.
Just a little.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
All right.
Holy Batman, Batman.
This is a new segment where we rate Christian Bale
on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale.
We're going to use our phones to rank this Batman across five unique characteristics.
Preparedness.
How prepared is this Batman?
Does he use his gadgets and tools?
What is this?
This is part of the podcast?
People listen to you do a visual bar graph?
But then we talk about it.
Okay.
Detective ability.
Does this Batman get to be a little detective?
Is he good at mystery solving?
Voice gravelliness.
How gravelly is this Batman's voice?
Sadness.
How lonely brooding emo is this Batman?
And finally, hotness, horniness.
How hot and how horny is this Batman?
And there's the QR code.
What's the QR?
Do I have to do it?
Hell yeah, dude.
Oh, God damn it.
I pride myself in not doing QR codes.
Yeah, this is really special for you.
Somehow, I'm carrying this head gum, just getting access to my whole thing.
Is that your fear with QR codes?
Yeah.
I've never heard of this.
Oh, yeah.
You shouldn't be just clicking on QR codes.
I walk around doing whatever.
I never think twice.
You're like, oh, QR code on a telephone pole? No, I don't do that. I never think twice. You're like, oh, a QR code on a telephone pole?
No, I don't do that.
I do it on a menu.
Wow, I'm taking this so seriously.
That's good.
That's good.
Okay, I did it.
Oh, yeah.
I think I did it.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Is that me or is that us?
It's us together.
It's us together.
Okay, got it.
Thank you.
Preparedness, we gave him a 54.7%.
I felt like he was fine.
I feel like he was prepared.
I don't think he was super prepared.
He was like a shut-in sad man.
Well, that's true.
The beginning, he's not.
I think, yeah.
I rated it low simply because I think most of the movie, he is behind on things.
He's not ahead of the game because he's out of practice or out of shape.
I don't think he's...
I think the point of the movie
is that he's not prepared.
I shouldn't change my score.
He's not...
And then that's what Alfred says to him.
You can't fight Bane.
You can't do this.
Bane's too dangerous.
I'll have to bury another way.
I regret everything.
Okay.
Detective ability, 78%.
We're all in the same range
here on this one.
He's a little slow,
but he figures shit out.
Yeah.
He could have been better.
He absolutely should have foreseen her flooding the tank.
Yeah.
That's an easy assumption.
Go ahead.
Voice gravelliness, 94.7%.
Yeah, pretty gravelly.
He's gravelly as all hell.
And that tongue was wagging.
It was really in there.
You gotta come with me, and you go over there.
He sounds a lot like the Mel Gibson voicemails.
Sadness. We gave him a 52.7%. Mel Gibson voicemails.
Sadness.
We gave him a 52.7%. I thought he was generally just sad,
but there are times where you've seen him be more like actually down.
This was more just like his life is kind of sad.
Yeah, I agree.
And then he gets sadder after Alfred reveals that Rachel was like,
I didn't choose you.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I think we're meant to be sad.
I think he's sad also partially because he couldn't save Rachel.
You know what I mean?
I think that's part of why he's languishing and letting himself go to shit.
But that sadness isn't very well, like, seeded in the movie.
No.
Or it doesn't pay off.
And then hotness, horniness, 38.7%.
I mean, we're kind of all over the map here.
I gave him a really low score.
I thought I was not.
I think I gave him the highest because he looked like a shriveled mushroom.
You did or you didn't?
Because I gave him a high score or a medium or high two.
I don't remember.
Simply because there was sex in it.
Yes.
So I was like, oh, okay.
For the first time in eight years.
Yeah.
And I do think he gets hot when he becomes Batman again.
Okay, I felt like this movie,
I was just not feeling it for him at all.
It's his horniness, not ours.
It's ours.
Nicole seemed to be answering
from the point of view of how horny she was
in the movie, and I was like, uh-oh.
That's how I made it?
It's his hotness and my horniness.
Got it.
How horny am I for his hotness?
And it's a six on this one for me.
A horny stew.
He is, boy, just a fantastic actor.
He's amazing.
And a beautiful man.
Oh, yeah.
No complaints.
I just think he's so compelling to watch do everything, including what is oftentimes in
these movies boring.
Yeah.
He's called upon to do very, he's not flashy.
Yeah. He's movies boring. He's called upon to do very boring. He's not flashy.
He's very boring.
Everybody else gets to be these wild, eccentric, outrageous characters.
He just is, as Bruce Wayne,
kind of like,
I don't know,
what do you think we should do?
And then as Batman,
he's like,
I don't know,
what do you think we should do?
It's true,
and he makes it interesting.
He makes interesting choices.
We were talking about
at the party in one of the other movies
where he's like,
I need to get all these people out so I'm just gonna pretend
to be drunk and like the flip into it is so
fucking good. Oh, I know. That was so great.
We love him. Okay, time for
five kapows. It's our reviews.
Once again. The way you said that.
This season. It's our reviews.
It's our reviews section.
This season we'll be reading reviews from Letterboxd.
We will be giving each film a one
sentence review ourselves, including you Jason, and a star rating for anyone who doesn't know letterboxd is a social
platform where people can write reviews of films and you can follow our show on letterboxd at
newcomers so we got a three and a half stars from jay shmoney says i need all these guys to do the
dashi basara chant to me to get me out of bed every morning. Okay.
Okay.
Lauren, three and a half stars.
The only thing that could possibly be better than Tom Brady.
Tom Brady.
QB.
Tom Hardy as Bane.
Is Tom Hardy in his MySpace era as Bane?
I'm not familiar with that.
I'm not either.
What does that mean?
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
I have to pull it.
It's very quick.
Oh, yeah?
Great.
This is important for the culture so think for a second about what your one sentence review would be of the film and your star rating okay let's see what his my duck lips
hats what is underwear this was his myspace page yeah and what this was like him, just young actor, Tom Hardy, just like. Yeah.
And then he blew up and everyone was like, is this my face?
Yeah.
How depressing.
This is why this is bad.
Be a silly teen or in your 20s and post dumb shit because people just find it.
I don't think he's embarrassed by it.
That ship has sailed for everybody.
And I mean, I don't worry.
I'm not worried about Tom Hardy, but like young people who came up in this.
I mean, like he's an adult in these.
But like for young people to like have like the all the nonsense that they put up as teenagers be like, you know, then searchable or whatever.
It's scary.
Yeah, that's awful.
I think kids should be 18 before they get to be on social media.
Oh, yeah.
We should write a letter.
Yeah.
We should.
before they get to be on social media.
Oh, yeah.
We should write a letter.
You should.
I do wonder, and I'm certain it's closer than I think,
but I do wonder what generation of kids will be like,
oh, no, I'll never do this.
I feel like it started.
There's like a Luddite generation or something.
There's like a group of people who are completely opposed,
young people who don't do any of that stuff and have dumb phones. Yeah, who look at what their parents are up to,
obsessed with all the social media stuff.
I look at these kids who are being raised on their parents' YouTube channels and stuff.
Which is so fucked up.
And I'm like, this is dark.
I don't like that.
And so I think there is going to be a certain generation that is like, oh, no, I value my
own privacy.
And that would be cool.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my friend's 13-year-old doesn't, she has an Instagram and posts nothing.
Yeah.
And when that takes over, that's when I'm going to join social media. When there's nothing there. oh yeah my friend's 13 year old doesn't she has an instagram and posts nothing yeah yeah and when
that takes over that's when i'm going to join social media when there's nothing there nobody's
done a thing today um so does anyone have a review they want to give the film oh i forgot
i would give it i'm gonna give this film two stars and i'm gonna say say pretty long and confusing. My favorite part was the cat.
I did.
That was my favorite part.
The cat?
You know, Anne Hathaway.
Oh.
Isn't that what they called her?
The bat and the cat.
I thought I missed
an actual meowing cat.
My one sentence review is
too dang long.
Should have been two films.
Love that there was some fire sex while his electricity was out.
I wish there was more Catwoman, Batman, interaction, love connection time.
Three stars.
That was more than a sentence.
This is out of five?
Yeah.
Okay.
Out of five stars, I'm going to give it four stars.
I really enjoyed it, especially this time around.
A movie that I think initially when I saw it, I probably would have given it a lower rating.
I remember not disappointed, but just didn't think it was as good as the previous two installments.
But this time, I really enjoyed it.
I really enjoyed it.
So, and my one sentence review is understandably confusing, comma, too many characters, comma, but boy were they great, comma, especially being played by this many incredible actors.
Wow.
Semicolon.
We forgot to mention Aidan Gillenen Littlefinger from Game of Thrones
Okay
Tommy Carchetti
From The Wire
As well as
Numerous other
Incredible character actors
Inside of this movie
So
I had a great time
Thank you for having me
Period
We also love to read
Listener reviews
Of our own program
This one's from
Wendigo
It's five stars.
So in case you've listened to this whole show
and thought it was bad,
we'd love an opportunity to convince you differently.
Honestly, this person gave it five stars,
so I think it's going really well.
Without fail, this show makes me laugh
until my face hurts.
Thank you so much.
Please, everyone, go write a review on Apple Podcasts
because we pick one to read on every episode
and you can rate us on Spotify. It just takes two seconds to click the stars. All five stars, please, everyone, go write a review on Apple Podcasts because we pick one to read on every episode. And you can rate us on Spotify.
It just takes two seconds to click the stars.
All five stars, please.
Do you have anything you want to plug?
I'll plug the How Did This Get Made podcast.
It's very funny.
It's very funny.
And also, if you haven't listened to it, if maybe you've just tuned into this podcast to listen to the Batman season,
our discussion of the Marvel, your season on the Marvel movies,
I thoroughly enjoyed.
It was really fun.
So go back and listen to that.
That was a blast.
Thank you so much for doing this.
We really appreciate that.
We really do.
Oh, an absolute pleasure.
I really, I had a great time re-watching this movie
and getting to sit and chat with you both
is an absolute treat.
Thank you.
It really is a nice treat.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me and letting me
be nerdy and
overly explainy about
Batman. You're not nerdy.
You literally explained the plot.
You literally helped us understand what we
watched. If there are people who have
been watching these or have enjoyed these and
you want to read some comics that
are Batman, I can't imagine you guys will want
to. But, on the off chance, the Ed Brubaker, Darwin Cook, Catwoman stories I mentioned before
are fantastic.
The Scott Snyder Batman run that includes the Court of Owls storyline is phenomenal.
The recent Tom King Batman and Catwoman book that is a love story between Batman and Catwoman.
That, I'm the most interested in that.
And is absolutely dynamite.
That's a fairly recent one.
I think maybe Greg Smallwood did the art.
Oh, that might be wrong.
But anyway, I think those are some very, as well as the iconic, The Dark Knight Rises, the movie,
it references in title a very iconic Batman story written and drawn by Frank Miller called Dark Knight Returns, rather, is an iconic Batman, 1980s Batman story that is truly, it's one book that you can read and is incredible.
You're very convincing, but I've been tricked before.
I watched that last Guardians of the Galaxy movie and I was like, I don't give a shit.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Sometimes we get confused by this podcast and think we actually want to do more.
I also think that once you start getting deep into things, that was three.
That was Guardians three.
And also the Guardians themselves have now also been a part of the Thor story and the Avengers story.
So I think it's very hard to jump into
casually now the Marvel movies
because you have to have watched
so much stuff
to feel like you are on the same page
as the characters.
Can I say, I think Marvel
and all these movies where you have to watch
other stuff should do what my Big Fat
Greek Wedding 3 did, which is
explain what happened in the first two.
I just re-watched the first two
actually because I was excited to watch the new one.
I think her name is Nia Vardalos.
She comes on screen before
the movie and goes, if you don't remember
what happened in my Big Fat Greek Wedding 1
and here's what happened in my Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.
They should do that.
Great.
They should.
Because in comics, I will say, to bring it back, in comics, when you open, in modern comics, if you open up a Batman book or if you open up a lot of books, there will be
a page that catches you up to the story right now.
That's great.
That's really smart.
That is like, because a lot of times in comics, a storyline will unfold over 12 or 24, 36 issues, and then that writer and artist will move on to another book, and that story will be reduced to zero again, and a new story will emerge, if that makes sense.
Sometimes they agree with each other.
Sometimes they are drastically different.
But they don't do that in the movies.
Star Wars doesn't do it.
Like the Ahsoka show that's on right now
I think would benefit greatly
from an explainer video in front of it
because it's a Star Wars show.
Ahsoka?
Ahsoka.
It's a character that Rosario Dawson plays.
It's based on...
It's about Sammy Sosa?
It's Sammy Sosa.
It's Ahsoka, Tano, and Sammy Sosa.
And she's got her lightsabers,
he's got his bat, and they, and Sammy Sosa. And she's got her lightsabers. He's got his bat.
And they are going to town on the SIF.
I didn't know Rosario Dawson was in Star Wars.
Yes.
Star Wars in the TV world.
In the series.
But not in the movies I saw?
Not yet in the movies that you've seen.
Correct.
Look, we could really do this all day.
I could do this all day to quote Captain America.
We are going to be back next week.
She's crying because she remembers that.
Thank you also for indulging me and watching the Prince video.
No, that was great.
I'm going to go home and watch the rest of it.
We're going to be watching Batman v Superman Extended Cut.
Why are we doing that?
I don't like when I see those parenthetical words.
How long is that?
It's so long that you're going to be upset.
Because this was like almost three hours.
Here's what I'm going to say.
It's going to be similar.
Here's what I'm going to say.
You're going, how many of the Snyder movies are you doing?
Just that one.
Just that one?
Okay.
Is that the Snyder Cut?
It is the Snyder Cut, but this is not the Snyder Cut.
Okay.
That's Justice League Dawn of Justice, right? Isn't it? Is Batman in that? Batman v Superman isn't the Snyder Cut, but this is not the Snyder Cut. Okay. That's Justice League Dawn of Justice, right?
Isn't it?
Is Batman in that?
Batman v. Superman isn't the Snyder Cut.
It's the next one, right?
I'm pretty sure.
Maybe I'm wrong, actually.
I'm pretty sure.
Wait, are you guys going to watch the Snyder Cut?
I thought that's what we were watching, but I've never seen it.
Oh, zoinks.
No, I think Snyder Cut is Justice League.
I think so, too.
Yeah, that's the whole thing.
So what's the Existence Cut?
This is different. Because we did it on How Did This Get Made, and it's like over four hours long. Snyder Cut is just as sleek. I think so too. Yeah, that's the whole thing. So what's the extended cut?
This is different.
Because we did it on How Did This Get Made, and it's like over four hours long.
The Snyder Cut.
That's too long.
That's upsetting. Oh, this one's only three hours long.
Only three hours.
But that's still better than four.
This is Ben Affleck as Batman.
Okay.
Henry Cavill as Superman.
Oh.
This is the modern DC movies that are Henry Cavill's Superman, Ben Affleck, Wonder Woman
is Gal Gadot.
Yes.
You know, there's a cyborg in Justice League.
There's an Aquaman.
There's a Flash.
This is the beginning of what this series of stories has been.
Okay.
Modern DC movies.
These were done in a vacuum.
The Batman movies were done at a time when no other DC movies were being made, really.
So they exist alone.
There is no Superman in Christian Bale's universe.
And then there's no Batman in the Superman universe.
There is.
Ben Affleck's Batman.
Oh, in which Superman?
I'm sorry.
Who's that man?
Christopher?
Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Reeves didn't have a Batman.
I don't think Brandon Routh had a Batman either.
But the Henry Cavill Superman
has Ben Affleck as a Batman.
Wish us luck.
It's exhausting.
Oh my God.
If you can imagine a
movie that is going to feel more
dark and dour
than these movies, it is
the Snyder movies. Dark?
Yeah. I know. There is
there isn't the same kind of levity.
And these didn't have, like, there's no
that's what's missing in these. There's like five jokes in each movie.
That's what I was just going to say.
There's not enough jokes.
Yeah.
Not that they need joke jokes.
Yeah.
But there can be quips.
Quippy dialogue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that is very much more the hallmark of Marvel.
Like Spider-Man quips.
Like there are characters who quip and joke in those stories.
And in DC, less so.
Because all the heroes in the DC universe are gods
and aliens.
That,
that,
that throws me off.
And a lot of the
Marvel universe
is teenagers.
Interesting.
So Marvel comic book stories
are oftentimes
coming of age stories.
The X-Men,
Spider-Man,
a lot of them
are coming of age stories
versus a lot of
the DC stories
are like gods
and aliens
come to Earth and you have to reckon with that.
You know, what happens if there's an omnipotent character who arrives on Earth?
It is funny that Superman arrives on Earth and is like, I'll defend it.
I would just go back home.
There's a great it's blown up.
He doesn't he can't go home.
Is he when he's at home?
Is he like a hot guy from Earth?
Like he looks like that. What do you mean? He looks like he, when he's at home, is he like a hot guy from Earth? Like he looks like that?
What do you mean?
He looks like a human when he's here.
Yeah.
And that's just his shape that he's in?
Yeah.
Is he human?
On the alien planet?
On Krypton.
We're really getting off.
Kryptonians, the people that are the species or the whatever, that occupy the planet of Krypton look human.
They are human.
He is, and they don't have superpowers.
Superman has superpowers on Earth because our sun is different than their sun.
And our sun, the yellow sun, this is all, again, this was all made up in like the 30s
and 40s.
Our sun gives him superpowers on Earth.
And sometimes if he goes elsewhere,
that's not the case.
Does he have superpowers at night?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So it's like a battery.
It's like, I don't know if it's a battery
or he can just, yeah, I don't know.
I'm not sure.
But there is a great comic, I will say,
that is called Red Son,
that is what if Superman's pod as a baby
landed in soviet russia and he and he became
uh the superman of the communist like the communists and what does the world look like
if superman was part of the wrong side of the cold war it's got a superman exactly that's not good
it's he's called putty man he's called Pewdie Man. He's called Pewdie Man.
Pewdie Tang?
We're getting somewhere here.
And it's called Pewdie Tang.
Are you guys doing the Pewdie Tang movies next?
Well, we appreciate you so much. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for letting me meander all over.
Oh, it was the best.
We will see you all next week with Batman v Superman.
Bye. Bye!
Bye!
Newcomers is a
production of
HeadGum Studios.
Our producer is
Ali Khan.
Our executive producer is Anya Khanofskaya.
The show is edited, mixed, and mastered by Faris Manji,
who also composed our theme song.
Follow us on Letterboxd, at Newcomers,
and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.
We might just read it on the next show.
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