Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Fast and the Furious (w/ Betsy Sodaro)
Episode Date: July 27, 2021Lauren and Nicole have covered Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and Tyler Perry's body of work. This season, guest co-host Jon Gabrus guides Nicole through their next feat—the Fast & F...urious Franchise. Comedian and writer Betsy Sodaro joins them for the first film of the franchise, The Fast and The Furious (2001).Follow Betsy on Instagram and Twitter, and check out her podcasts A Funny Feeling and We Love Trash.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
One race, 2G buying. Winner takes all.
I don't have any cash, but I do have the pink slip to my car.
You brave, you brave.
You're in.
Do it fast, do it furious.
On the street where reputations are made.
It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile.
Winning's winning.
In a world beyond the law.
Get in!
You drive like you've done this before.
No, never.
If you have what it takes.
You want a beer?
Yo, Dom! Why'd you bring that fool here?
Because he kept me out of handcuffs!
You can have it all.
My brother likes you.
Usually he doesn't like anybody.
But when rivalries are a way of life...
I thought we had an agreement.
You stay away, I stay away.
When loyalty is all that matters...
You don't know this punk, Dom. Watch your back.
You break her heart, I'll break your neck.
Would you be willing...
You're gonna stick by me?
Maybe.
To risk everything. It's a new episode of Newcomers.
Okay, guess what?
Laura Lapkus, she's sitting this season out.
She's got things to do.
She's a busy lady.
And you better believe I got an amazing co-host,
and it's John Gabrus!
Boop-a-da-boop, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop.
Oh, yes.
Finally able to monetize my ability of hating how little movies Nicole Byer has seen in society.
Here's the fun fact about the Fast and the Furious franchise.
I love the Fast and the Furious franchise.
I would hope fucking so.
It's right in your wheelhouse, Byer.
I mean, I love it so fucking much.
So, I mean, this season is like, it's just going to be a little different because I've actually seen the movies,
but I haven't seen Tokyo Drift
and I haven't seen maybe the third one.
I don't know why.
Tokyo Drift is the third one,
so you probably didn't see the fourth one,
which we kind of call Ampersand
and is kind of known as the worst one.
Yes, I have not seen the fourth one.
Okay.
I, on the other hand, am an old comer to this
and an old comer in bed. I have seen these movies countless times, almost all of them in the theater,
and I'm excited to scream about them with you and other friends of ours. Hell yeah. And this season
is going to be 10 episodes. So we're going to cover all nine movies along with Hobbs and Shaw.
Oh, yeah.
So today we're discussing the first film in the Fast and Furious franchise, The Fast and the Furious.
It was made in 2001. It is available on DVD with a subscription to HBO Max.
You can also watch it for a little fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu.
And guess what?
There's going to be spoilers, so sorry about it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's just say objectively if people are tuning into a movie podcast where they're talking about a movie from 20 years ago, there just might be some spoilers, people.
You know, just like a little bit.
We might talk about the ending.
We might spoil it.
Wait, what happened to Dom in Fast 1?
I have no idea.
Does he die? We don't know.
Does he die? He's got eight more
coming after this, so maybe...
He's risen like Jesus.
There is resurrections
in the Fast and the Furious franchise, and we
will get to them eventually, but yes.
Wait, there's resurrections?
Spoiler alert, we'll get to it.
Don't you worry.
Okay, we'll get to it.
So I guess I am a newcomer, kind of,
because I pay attention to nothing.
But our guest today-
It's all new to you.
I'm like a baby seeing the world every day
with fresh eyes going, what is it?
Our guest today is Bessiesy cenaro she's a writer
she's an actress you've seen her on disjointed duncanville golden arm honestly if you have not
seen golden arm please do yourself a favor and see it betsy is so fucking good in it
also co-host the podcast a funny feeling and we love trash. Ooh! Betsy! Vroom! Vroom!
Vroom! Vroom!
Vroom! Vroom!
We're on Zoom
talking Fast and Foo, baby.
Betsy, have you seen
any of the Fast and the Furious franchise?
I've not seen any of it
and I had no real desire
until I heard about Resurrection
and the fourth one being god-awful. I heard about Resurrection and the fourth
one being god awful.
Maybe I should just skip to the fourth.
Yeah, maybe.
What were your initial thoughts?
Ooh, well, I
immediately was like, this
feels very Point Break-y.
Yes. It's exactly Point Break.
It is Point Break with cars. Yes!
I had no clue! Fast 1 is Point Break with cars. By the end, it's exactly Point Break. It is Point Break with cars. Yes. I had no clue.
Fast 1 is Point Break with cars.
By the end, it's Avengers with cars.
Like Fast 9 is like fully a different Justice League with cars, but slightly shorter.
Yeah, I agree.
Because I did see Hobbs and Shaw.
And I believe at one point, The Rock is like holding a helicopter and a car together and i saw it in theaters and i just
went no he can't that's bonkers yeah this is weirdly enough the most grounded of all the movies
which is horrifying because it's hardly grounded with some of the stunts they pull up. Every single other machine that is driving
is going unbelievably fast.
Like the trains,
the semis are
going...
Like those fast cars are having
to keep up. The truck drivers
also never slow down no matter
what's happening on the road around them.
If people are leaping onto the truck, they're still like
keep flooring it.
We got to get these DVD players somewhere.
I think it's a commentary on the state of America where truck drivers, they can't even take a break.
They got to make their deliveries to get paid.
There it is.
They're the frontline workers of the Fast and the Furious franchise.
This was, I think, a premonition to fucking Jeff Bezos blasting off to space while everybody else is working.
Isn't that stupid?
He went to space.
It's so dumb.
Like, it still hasn't hit me how wild it is.
Like, it feels like we're in an episode of The Simpsons or something.
It feels like we're in, like, feudal times and kings and queens are just eating venison
sloppily all over themselves while
the rest of us are at the plague
and shit.
Lisa,
can I have some more?
Lisa. More, you say?
Watching
this movie, I was like, wow, this
feels like an indie. And then
I was like, Nicole, maybe you like an indie. And then I was like, Nicole, maybe you
haven't seen an indie in a minute. It does. It's funny you say that though, Bayer, because
blockbuster culture in America, in our cinema has changed so much that it's blockbusters have to be
enormous now. And this movie was wildly popular. Uh, and it, And it's arguably a little small.
It tells a small story about street racers turned criminals
before they become agents of the U.S. government
and save the world and all that shit.
But it's so crazy.
We're so conditioned to movies having to be like,
aliens are invading, save the world.
And that's the only stakes that matter.
Where on this stakes,
though it matters is Brian coming across as kind of cool to Dom.
And I'm here for it.
It's such a-
And truly kind of cool.
I would love to just point out
the Paul Walker and Vin Diesel dynamic on camera
is, it's magnetic in this movie.
It really is. I was blown blown away it's a little bit
of a love story not right oh it is it it's a it's a bromancey love story it's a heterosexual
love story letty is definitely bi and then like gets it on with dom and you're like yes
but like i'm missing her with a woman. I kind of want to see that too.
Yeah, I was saying the same thing in 2001.
And in 2021 when I watched it last night.
I was like, let's get a few more ladies up in here.
It is funny that when Brian saves Vin Diesel from the cops
and there's a party going on.
Like, one of the first shots of the parties
is just two girls making out,
and I'm like, okay, 2001.
I feel like this is something,
knowing my co-host Nicole Byer here
will come up in every episode,
is the level of sexuality of Fast and the Furious movies
is very confusing.
It's more sexual than Marvel movies, which are asexual.
Never seen them.
It's still PG-13 sexual in which it's like butt cleavage and boobs or like women walking in bikinis set to like steel drum music or like a calypso beat.
It's such a common occurrence in the Fast and Furious movies where it's like the exact level of sexuality is like a music video from 94.
And I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
Truly, I am.
It's perfect.
Who would have thought that based on modern culture, we were only going to get more puritanical in our movies and less sexual.
Like, whereas Hobbs and Shaw is like two asexual human beings fighting over a girl.
You're like, what the fuck is this?
two asexual human beings fighting over a girl. You're like, what the fuck is this?
I loved in the drag racing scene
the first one where Ja Rule
who I think had to do ADR
because his mumbles didn't match his mouth
but when that girl was like
if you win, all
this is yours and you can have
her. And then he's like
Monica!
When he starts to lose he's like, Monica! When he starts to lose, he's like, Monica!
Like, okay, this is funny.
This movie's funny.
Ja Rule is super fucking great in this movie, weirdly enough.
And his song at the end is fucking fire.
Yeah, wait.
The fast.
Wait, how does it go?
It's literally like fast and the furious.
Yes.
It was like, in case you forgot what you just watched, Ja Rule will remind you.
Ja Rule hitting us with the Gilligan's Island theme song that goes, Fast and the Furious.
You gotta be fast and furious.
Steal DVD players.
It's just like repeating the entire premise of the movie.
Pretty much point break.
Woo!
Okay, real quick, we to do a new segment and we're,
we haven't picked a title for it yet.
So it could be the Toretto Gazetto,
the Speeders Digest,
Fast and Curious,
the Tire Wire,
Tom Digest,
or We'll Read.
My vote is for the Toretto Gazetto.
I like Toretto Gazetto.
But I think we hold on to Fast and Curious for any sexual things we're feeling throughout the movie.
I'm fast and curious about Paul Walker in this movie.
Dude, he's so pretty.
Okay, so F9.
Is it really called F9?
I haven't seen it yet.
Yes, it's called F9.
Isn't it like three hours long? It's two hours and 40 minutes. Yes, it's called F9. Isn't it like three hours long?
It's two hours and 40 minutes.
No, it's not.
I can't even give you guys spoilers because it's so all over the place.
It's so different than this movie.
It's going to be comical when we get to it, Byer.
Wait, it's just called F9 and then they didn't edit it down.
It's two hours and 40 fucking minutes.
Dude, all the naming concepts of Fast go.
We'll get to them, but they get weird.
Isn't there another one called Fast and Furious?
Yes.
Not The Fast?
Uh-huh.
I almost watched that one.
There's Two Fast, Two Furious, which is two.
There's Fast and Furious colon Tokyo Drift, which is three.
Then there's The Fast and The Furious,
which is what people call ampersand,
or I learned that from Griffin Newman.
That's fourth.
And then five is Fast Five.
Six is like Fast and Furious.
They devolve until it's Fate of the Furious.
They just keep mushing it around.
Fast and Furious.
How many ways can we put these two words together?
It's like anime where they're like colon battle angel or whatever.
And you're like, okay.
All right, fine.
Well, F9 breaks pandemic box office record.
F9, the latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise, broke the box office records in both us and canada it brought home an estimated 70 million dollars in the u.s alone
making it the biggest uh box office opening since 2019 star wars rise of skywalker wow
whoa it's a weird weird sort of title to claim we're the highest ranking movie since before the
pandemic not bad guys but i will say say My first major theater experience back
Was seeing the opening night Fast 9
In the theater
It was
Fast 9, we got that episode down the road
We're on Fast 1 now, right?
Fast 1
Let's focus on where it all begins
I'd like to point out something that
The movie franchise eventually is built on
Family and relationships
And it gets so fucking crazy,
but they really hammer down their love and appreciation for each other
in this movie.
I mean, that dinner scene.
Yep.
Yeah, I love it.
You got to say grace.
Oh, that comes back in almost every movie.
Oh, boy.
Maybe I haven't seen as many.
I don't think I've seen six either. Oh, boy. Maybe I haven't seen as many.
I don't think I've seen six either.
Okay.
When you first saw...
I dip in and out of the franchise.
Understandably.
When you first saw The Fast and the Furious, Gabrus,
how old...
Did you see this in theaters?
Did you see it when it first came out?
I saw this in theaters.
So I was like 19 or 20.
It was like during college or I was home from college.
And,
uh,
it was,
it was cool as hell.
And like street racing was kind of new.
Then it like kids in my high school had like dropped civics with black lights
and subwoofers and shit.
And that was kind of hitting the culture.
And then that art,
I guess it's based on an article called racer X about street racer culture and seeing seeing it in the movie you're like now it feels rote it feels like yeah we've seen
we've seen 18 hours of these characters specifically no less hundreds of hours about
street racing but it was a real fucking when we first saw it we were all like i drove home like
a fucking maniac from the belmore playhouse all i could talk about for like the
year after i seen this movie was nos it was like give me some fucking they say not so much
because i kept seeing it like when paul walker gets to the the place he works i kept seeing
nos and i was like what the fuck and then he starts going, NOS, NOS, I need NOS. Where's NOS?
I need two NOS.
And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
Now, NOS is laughing gas.
It's nitrous oxide.
Wait, really?
So they could use it for two things.
They could use it to get high as a motherfucker.
Or they could use it.
Make that car go, go, go, go, zoom, zoom, fast.
Car, car, go, go, zoom, zoom, fast.
When I first saw Fast and the Furious, I saw it on VHS.
My mom bought it for me because I like cars.
And when I watched it, I wasn't like, cool, they're going fast.
I was like, all these cars are attainable.
That's what's cool.
It's like only the one Lamborghini from the fucking douchebag.
But the rest of it is like, and that's what kind of the movie,
they're like, oh, you can scrap together with some know-how.
Jesse has a Jetta.
I think Dom has a Mazda RX-7 or RX-8.
I'm not sure.
Brian ends up with a Supra.
He starts out with an Eclipse.
And these are all like economy coupes economy coops yeah these are what like
high school kids drove in the 90s like everyone had their mom's buick century or ford taurus or
mazda rx7 yeah i fucking love it i fucking and then it's like it's all about what's under the
hood and it's like 15 grand under the hood i like that moment where they shit on him for just spending
money and not like know how or like uh because uh dom will say it multiple times but it's not
about the car it's about who's behind the wheel i mean this movie made me love Vin Diesel in a way that I cannot explain to you.
Like, he's so sexy and bald and, like, he owns everything.
I love him.
He's perfect in the movie.
Because I had never, I don't know.
I don't know if I've ever, I think I saw that one where he's, like, a babysitter or something.
The pacifier.
It sucks.
Yeah.
But then watching it, I was like,
Oh,
I see why he's a star.
He's so good in this world.
And in this role,
you should watch his short film.
I cannot remember what it's called,
but it's about him like auditioning and not being black enough.
And it's great.
I think it's still on YouTube.
Oh man. Have you guys seen it? No, I gotta find it. It's great i think it's still on youtube oh man have you guys seen it no i gotta
find it great and then after that watch him sing uh stay by rihanna it's honestly transcendent
little vin diesel fact i might this might come up 11 times throughout this pod because i gotta
tell every guest he has a microphone in every room in his house for potential for potential karaoke
for potential singing he has a microphone in every room in his house i love that love him
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We back.
Okay, some info about The Fast and the Furious.
It was written by Gary S. Thompson, Eric Berquist, and David Ayer.
Gary S. Thompson, Eric Berquist, and David Ayer.
And it was directed by Rob Cohen, released June 22, 2001.
Wow.
And then we should go through the plot summary.
Gabrus, do you have it in front of you?
No, but I could do it off the top of my head.
No, I'm just kidding.
Open your fucking email.
No, I know, but we don't need to.
Do you want to read through it? We should have discussed this before. Well, I guess we don't need to. Do you want to read through it?
We should have discussed this before.
Well, I guess we don't have to.
Well, let's talk about it a little bit, I guess.
Okay.
So we don't know Brian is an undercover cop at this point in the movie.
It starts with a dope heist.
We don't know who that is.
And then the next day we see Brian racing his car and he visits Toretto's Market, which is a sandwich stand.
But it's like a weird sandwich shop because he asks for tuna and then fucking what's up?
Mia makes it just in front of him. I was like, was this refrigerated?
Where did you get the tuna from?
Then he wants the crust cut off.
And I was like, are you six?
What's happening?
This whole scene is so, it's like,
this is like meatheads who write car racing movies
trying to figure out why,
how this guy and Mia could have a relationship.
But it's like, ask her to cut the crust off
your tuna sandwich.
That's what chicks and guys interact like.
I mean. The market is like attached to a garage.
It's like, oh, I got to grab a sub.
It's so dirty.
Like everyone, they put like, they took dirt and swiped it over the lens because everybody
is just filthy looking and it's like grim.
It feels, because it's in the middle of la because you leave it and it looks beautiful
you see like a beautiful view of downtown la but it feels like it's from like a horror movie
like the house of wax or something where it's like you will die this is a pretty solid la movie and
i do think like we are the city that has like amazing taco trucks in a Chevron station
or like the most random you know what I mean so it kind of fits but it's just funny that it's called
Toretto's Cafe it's like it's Toretto's Garage name the cafe something else you're Dominic
Toretto you're an ex-gangster you don't have any fun you're an ex-criminal we're not a gangster sorry uh yeah get it right Gabriel come on um and then we get we meet Vince who's the big white guy in
the crew and he and he is not a fan of Brian because he also likes Mia yeah hates Brian
and rather than discuss that with Mia at all and give her her own agency Vince decides to just attack Brian
yep which was insane and then Mia was just like Dom get out there they're fighting over me
and he's like I'm reading my paper and you just see like the back of his head and then Letty's
like come on and then he like gets up slow and then man this like power walk out and then you see like a close
up on let it's great i thoroughly enjoyed that it establishes the entire dynamic of the crew
in this moment in that it's like dom do something you're the dad uh then letty's like the mom like
be careful out there and he's like hurry up dad up, dad. You know, and it's like, my brothers are fighting.
And then that weird Jesse guy
is just like,
oh yeah,
hey man.
He's so strong.
I thought he was going to die.
Yeah.
It's a bummer he didn't.
I thought for sure
he was going to die
in that race or whatever.
I was like,
yeah,
one of them's got to die.
Did he die getting gunned down later?
Does he die in that moment?
I don't remember.
Wait. Yeah, I think he does, right? in that moment? I don't remember. Wait.
Yeah, I think he does, right?
In that moment?
No.
But Jesse dies later.
Later.
Shoot.
He does die.
Okay.
The motorcycle gang.
Yeah.
Which really is, I was very upset.
Okay.
So anyway.
So Brian, like I said, has a 95 Mitsubishi Eclipse.
He brings it to the fucking street racing party.
It's a party.
Every time they set up
a street race
in the Fast and Furious movies,
it's got like a
banging music cue
and we see like
three women
that would never dress like this
doing something
that women don't do in public.
And then like other guys
like just looking at
hoods of cars
and being like,
hell yeah.
That's an engine
that is a
muffler get your mouth off of it
brother
but Brian doesn't fucking bring
money because he didn't do his due diligence
to be like do they bet
money do they bet cars
so he bets his fucking car
he wants respect
it's pink slips is like a term
I know from Beach Boys songs.
I just know it from Grease,
I think.
Yeah, Grease.
I know mine from Grease.
It's like,
I'm waiting for the pink slip.
Tell me more,
tell me more.
Like,
does he have a pink slip?
No,
that's not the lyrics at all.
It honestly might be.
I'd like to give Vin Diesel
the pink slip if you know what I mean. Oh, like to give Vin Diesel the pink slip, if you know
what I mean. Oh, I would give
him all of my, I would give him all two
of my pink slips. Get it?
Whoa!
Do you get it?
I will help you understand it
in the next sound effect I make.
So,
they fucking race.
Brian's, you know, pressing his, he's got a whole computer set up in his car
and he's typing away and he's hitting his nose and then fucking his car falls apart and sparks
and then he almost beats dom but he was never gonna beat dom because that's what dom says later
you me had me oh yeah You never even had your car.
I live my life one quarter mile at a time.
For the listeners, I'm doing the Vin Diesel stance because he knows it makes his shoulders and arms look good.
You had me?
You never even had your car.
And everyone at the street race is like, ha, ha, ha.
Tell him, Dom. you just won his pink slip
everyone is a big fan of Dom
and I love it so much
and we'll see that
no matter what country
he goes to
everyone there
knows who he is
going forward
in these movies
he's like
what they love about
the Cuban people
he has like an accent
out of nowhere and people are like just wait and see i love this so then lapd fucking is all over
this everybody zoom zooms away uh dom parks his car just in this random garage that i think is
next to largo and uh he just leaves his car there.
And then Brian's like, get in.
And then he's like, all right.
And then they evade the police.
And Dom's like, done this before.
And he's like, no, never.
And he's like, no, I got your whole record.
You ain't the juvie.
You boosted cars.
And he's like, got me busted. Can you take me to a party now dom i want to finger
your sister well before they go to that party oh baby uh we got johnny tran and his cousin lance
and i don't really understand the like. It's not really explained well.
It almost never makes sense until you're just like,
they have to show them being bad by putting gasoline in that dude's mouth
just so you go, okay, then they're bad guys.
And now you've only seen both sides do illegal shit,
and you're like, who's the good guy and who's the bad guy?
That's exactly it, where it's like, everybody's kind of shitty right now.
Yeah, everyone's
a criminal as far as society is concerned the way dom introduces him he's like that's johnny tran
and that's his cousin in the snakeskin pants and i was like why do what
who cares then they shoot up that car and then we have dom go no they established that these guys always have
silenced uzis on them so that it can come into play later it's like check off silence uzi we
establish it and then we're gonna spray down the fucking teredo house with it later
the teredo house which survives like 11 terrorist attacks over the course of this series, truly is like rebuilt three times.
That's so fucking funny.
It's like the fucking Avengers Tower.
But also, this car blows up in a way that everybody in a 10 mile radius would have heard it.
And no cops come.
Not one person said, everybody okay?
Right. Nobody was blown like paul walker it felt like was like 10 feet away we're just kind of walking away it's like your
back would have been on fire between paul walker and vin diesel's short film we know why the cops weren't after them. If only I was black enough to
deal with police.
So now they're at that fucking party
where
The Buster
got me home!
This Buster got me home! Busta got me
home so fucking
crazy I haven't heard Busta in a long
time me either I don't think I've ever heard it
one time I've never heard
it like that I heard it in
like the 90s look at this fucking
Buster like some loser
just dork loser
I've never heard it like that
me either I had not heard it like that. Me either.
I had not heard it in 20 years in this movie.
I'm just like, what's with the buster, Dom?
This buster!
Like, just keep using it.
And he's like, my name is Brian.
You can have any Betsy you want
as long as it's a Sedaro.
That made me laugh.
As long as it's a Corona. You can have any brew you want as long as it's a Sedaro. That made me laugh. As long as it's a Corona.
You can have any brew you want
as long as it's a Corona.
They love Corona and Snapple.
Why do they love Corona so much?
Why did he say that?
I guess they had a tie-in?
No, they did not, but you will see.
Eventually they do.
Corona's in every movie also.
I mean, Vin Diesel's not in every movie, and I think Corona is in every movie also. I mean, Vin Diesel's not in every
movie and I think Corona is in a few.
Wait, Vin Diesel's not in every movie?
Get, strap the fuck in.
This might be a new, this is
newcomers all over again. Here we are
folks. I guess so. I thought I saw
most of the movie. I know I
missed two. I guess I missed most.
I don't know.
We'll get to it week Week by week, people.
Nicole Byer, mind being blown over and over again as she realizes, what movies have I
been watching?
Have I just been staring at my TV while it's off?
I saw Fast 7.
It's a bunch of fish swimming around in circles.
Byer, that sounds like an aquarium.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. That's my favorite one. swimming around in circles. Byer, that sounds like an aquarium. Oh, yeah.
That's my favorite one.
So, Brian, he gets pulled over by LAPD,
and then it's revealed what we knew all along,
that he's an officer himself.
Back up, three steps to the right,
hands behind your back. Yeah, I was literally line dancing.
What the fuck is this?
Grab your partner, do-si-do but then they go to this like beautiful house and i was like i don't what weird weird house
it's like classic like cops being like well the budget is for a safe house let's get a fucking
sick airbnb with you or whatever we're cops after all we got to, the budget is for a safe house. Let's get a fucking sick Airbnb with a view or whatever.
We're cops, after all. We gotta
game the system constantly for our benefit.
Yeah, Gabriel, spit that truth!
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- We side with the street racers and the thieves, motherfucker.
Hell yeah.
Steal those DVD players.
Suck it, big DVD.
It is so funny that it's DVD players because they're obsolete now.
It didn't age well.
There were a couple I saw in the very beginning, a couple of tiny TVs with a VCR in it.
I was like, oh, buddy.
I feel even in 2001, that was like, I don't think so.
Yeah, it's like, we've moved on a little bit.
Not to jump ahead, but in Fast 9, the thing they're after is two pieces of a bomb that could destroy the world.
And in this one,'re all DVD players.
It's very funny. The hyping is incredible.
That's wild.
Two pieces of a bomb.
That if they touch together, literally like
a video game, it's like you have one and the other.
You can make the bomb that can stop the
world.
Fast one is like the delivery.
And also, we'll get to to it but why are these truck drivers
so willing to die on behalf of dvd players the truck is fucking yours man yeah yeah because
the cops are like the truckers are arming themselves they're gonna start fighting back
and i'll hit you with my bat i'd be like bro, bro, have the fucking truck. Yeah, take it.
I don't care.
I'll pull over.
You don't even have to shoot the grappling hook into my car.
I'll literally just wave me over and point the grappling hook at me.
I'll be like, you got it, bro.
These guys don't step on the brakes once in these interactions.
Not one time.
No, it's crazy.
And they're going so fast.
It does make for a Western feel, though, galloping along a wagon and like leaping off.
It kind of is like a modern western.
They're all cowboys on their cars.
Right.
On the steel horse I ride.
On the four wheeled steel horse.
So then Brian,
he brings,
like it looked like a burnt up
fucking Toyota Supra
to Dom's garage as his like 10 second car because he still owes him that car.
And then Jesse is just like, what is this?
And then he, like, opens the hood and he's like, oh, wow.
What a cool engine, man.
Yeah, I guess we'll have to overnight some parts from Japan.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah, whatever, man.
I do like this jargon sequence where they
all start saying the stuff they want to do
I love jargon in any situation
and like car jargon
which is something, cargan if you will
is something I don't even know about
I like know oil change
is like as deep as I go with cars
as a city boy and so like
let them just fucking go
oh 10G fuel intake?
Nice try.
And you're like, sure, man.
And I feel, I bet the writers had a good time too.
Like, nobody will know, right?
You can just kind of say stuff and nobody will give a shit?
Okay.
2001, they're like, ask Jeeves about car parts on the internet.
Ask Jeeves about car parts on the internet.
So one night, Dom and Vince discover Brian investigating a garage.
And it's never explained why Dom and Vince are there.
Yeah, I was confused by that.
I was like, well, why are you guys here?
Turn the table on them, Paul. I feel like it's because Vince suspects Brian.
I'm doing work for the movie
here i don't know fully what they're saying but i think it's because vince suspects brian and he's
like you got to come with me dom he's a cop he's a piece of shit let's go get him and then they go
to see what he's doing and he's just like i'm here wait what do you oh we're both here okay
let's hide while these guys commit a fucking absolute assault of this poor small business owner.
Yeah, they were so mean to that man.
They put gasoline in his mouth.
He said, kiss my shoes.
And then he fucking kicked him.
I would have been very upset.
I would have said, that's not part of the deal.
You said, kiss your shoes.
You can't kick me.
Yeah, I kissed him.
Now you kick me?
Uh-uh.
It's rude. So then the SWAT team goes in and fucking arrests Tran and Lance.
And then Brian also is part of the SWAT team.
And I was like, but you're undercover.
Yeah, that doesn't help his story at all.
If he gets caught wearing full SWAT gear, he's just like, I was just investigating this garage again, Dom.
I just wanted to see...
I'm going to a costume party with your sister, Mia.
Was this the very
funny, like, 2001
montage
moment of, like...
Was there... I think
there was a montage, right, leading up to this
of, like, SWAT team getting ready. Yes.
Vin and Letty like
um kind of dry humping against the car yeah it was so perfect okay okay this is good this is good
to a funny song that you're right that is like a portion of a lot of movies from that era where
it's like all right five minutes set to a song where we show everybody where they're at emotionally. It's just Dom
coming in his fucking wranglers
with Letty's legs around his shoulders.
And I love that Letty
almost exclusively wears like leather
pants in this hot garage
where she's dirty. I'm like, what is
going on? I forget
who said it, but someone one time said it
should be Letty as Dom's sister
and Mia as Dom's girlfriend.
Just based on looks and attitude wise, it would make way more sense if Letty was Vin's sister in a way.
Casting wise.
I mean, they make a great couple and you got to have her in the movie because she's a fucking queen.
But it feels so weird that his sister is like a 75 pound woman.
Like and his girlfriend is like a person who has the same voice as him.
That's that's why I think it's perfect.
Dom would be the person to fuck himself.
Yeah.
He could.
That's the choice.
Vin wrote that in.
He's like, Dom has to be a fucking narcissist and only fucks people that are like him.
They're like, let's see what we can do, pal.
Okay, man.
So all the electronics,
they're proven that they're purchased legally.
Now this is so...
I want to pause you for a second.
Why is Johnny Tran in the
legal purchasing of electronics
business? Especially when he's like
shoving oil down someone's throat and carrying
Uzis around.
Well,
he's got a big family.
They caught him at dinner.
Maybe dessert was going to be some DVDs.
But yeah,
the cops are just like,
you're going to have to consider Dom.
And he's like,
no,
Dom's not organized enough to do it.
And they're like, yes, you know, it's him.
So then they go to fucking race wars.
Great name for a place.
Great name.
Definitely attracts people of all different races.
If you call a place race wars, you might get the wrong kind of white guy showing up right now you can't call it
race wars it's very intense to have a bunch of people pulling up to something called race wars
which is in the desert that is so fucking funny they arrive and it's truly just like
an actual race war and they're like we thought we were supposed to race cars dominic we
don't know what side to put you on please watch my short film he's like i don't know either
so then jesse he bets his dad's volkswagen jetta against johnny tran and his honda s2000
which is a very cool car uh jesse as a jetta drive As a Jetta driver, my first car
out here was a Jetta. And in the
late 90s when my friends were getting cars,
Jetta was one of the
cool, cheap cars you could get.
So anyone whose parents
bought them a new car, it was always a new Jetta.
That's insane.
It was just so popular and Jettas were so cool
that when I saw this movie and I was like,
you could soup up a Jetta.
That like popped for me.
I feel like the old Jettas before they redesigned it were very like super mob.
They ruled.
And then when they redesigned them, it was like every 16 year old girl will have a Jetta.
They're white and have four doors now.
And it's like before it was like had a spoiler and it was dropped and shit.
Then the Golf GTI
kind of took over.
Ooh, baby.
I love a Golf.
Those are so rad.
Yeah, I've had two Golf wagons
back to back.
I'm not a car guy,
but I do drive a station wagon
for the last seven years.
I love it.
You love a hatchback.
Hell yeah.
I love it.
Gotta have a place
to keep my beach chairs.
True story, beach chairs. True story.
Beach chairs always in the trunk of my car.
Smart.
I love that for you.
My apartment's too small.
I gotta keep them in my car.
You are surrounded by boxes right now.
You truly are.
It is disgusting.
Don't worry about that.
I'm moving out.
I got a divorce.
Oh, no!
You heard it here first.
He's a newcomer to single life.
I'm going to be coming new a lot.
So, okay.
So, Jesse, he loses his car because he races the pink slip for whatever reason.
And he just Forrest Gump's himself out of the stadium.
He just keeps going.
Just left.
He leaves race wars in his rear view mirror.
That made me laugh.
And I was like, yeah, smart man.
Get out of here.
Yeah, just leave.
You got a car.
You don't have to give your car to someone.
Just leave.
So then Brian sees Dom and the crew leaving.
And then that's when he's like, they're the hijackers.
He's like, Mia, I'm a cop.
And she's like, what?
What?
What?
Okay, come on.
Let's go find them.
She's like, well, that's okay because it's been three days, so I'm already in love with you.
And even if we did build this relationship in the last 72 hours on a lie of who you really are, I'm still going to believe you and follow you to the end of the earth i know
it's my brother you're here to arrest but i love you brian it's like wait what yeah it's so fucked
up yeah i don't it's funny that he has to reveal it too and then like we get like a triple reveal
where he's like i need a trace on that and then also later when he does it to vin he's like
i am undercover unit please send a chopper or whatever and he's like, I need a trace on that. And then also later when he does it to Vin, he's like, I am undercover unit.
Please send a chopper or whatever. And everyone's like,
Whoa.
He's like, I already told seven people.
For the audience, it's like the 11th
time we've been revealed that he's a cop.
You're right. He just spent the last
15 minutes of the movie being like, I'm a cop.
I'm a cop.
I'm a cop. Call 911. I'm a cop.
Kind of like how cops actually act. Constantly telling you they're a cop i'm a cop i'm a cop call 9-1-1 i'm a cop kind of like how cops actually act
constantly telling you they're a cop just basic behavior uh but dom letty and vince and leon are
like all right we're gonna do one more heist and then letty's like we shouldn't do this without
jesse calling out that like this is gonna go bad she literally tells us that this is going to go bad. She literally tells us that this is not going to go well. I feel like I think all of them are like, I don't know.
Something feels weird about tonight.
Yeah, this is going to go bad.
And Vin's just like, whatever.
We got to do this.
I misremembered this part of the movie.
And on the rewatch last night, I was like, oh, I remembered it being some weird loophole as to why they weren't the actual heist people.
Why they weren't.
And we had to do it to get these illegal things back into the hands of who they.
But this is the first movie, so they don't have to make them superheroes.
They can just be kind of grimy bad guys.
I was wondering that because I was like, there's so many more movies, but they're bad guys.
How's this going to work out?
But then it worked out.
It worked out.
But this is like pretty intense.
I enjoyed this.
They're fucking, what's his name?
Vince?
Leon.
Oh, Leon.
Vince.
Vince is wearing a motorcycle helmet.
He jumps on the truck.
That truck driver is like, fuck you.
Wait, hold on.
Vince puts a motorcycle helmet on. A stuntman with a motorcycle helmet jumps onto the truck that truck driver is like bum you Vince puts a motorcycle
helmet on
a stunt man
with a motorcycle helmet
jumps onto the truck
and then for all the
insert shots
he takes the helmet off
that is really funny
so obviously
that you put it on
for just the big move
and then
why would he need
to take it off
in that moment
it would arguably
save his life
yes
I didn't even
think of that.
That's so fucking funny.
That's my favorite whenever it's like,
especially when people are like lit on fire in a movie,
where it's clearly just like a way bigger dude,
just like so many more articles of clothing.
Oh, I love it so much.
It's like, that's not the person at all.
But when you have a killer actor like Matt Scholes,
the guy who plays Vince,
when you have him, you got to get the mask off
and let people see who he is.
You got to get that mask off.
Show that beautiful face.
Show that Hollywood face.
I will say, Vince has got a great look
for like a street racing crew.
He's like weirdly big in a scary way
but not in like the
rock way. He's like not muscular. He just
looks like a big dude who like
used to hit people with bats or something. Right.
Who has like anger problems.
Okay, I'm
scared. And you're like, I would make a mistake
and fuck him a couple times.
Yeah, that is
the truest statement of the century.
And Nicole, thank you for saying that because now we're
inside Mia's head and we know how
she's like, I guess I accidentally
let this guy on, but
Paul Walker is a little
bit of an upgrade for me.
Just a tad. He looks like he showers.
This angelic
tuna-eating freak shows up.
Just got to fall in love with him.
But then, okay, so they call a helicopter to get him.
And then later, Brian arrives at Dom's house.
And then Dom's like, what?
Oh, wait, just to jump back to the action sequence,
imagine shooting a shotgun while driving a big rig.
It's like...
I know!
Both of those things are like three-handed operations
to load and shoot a pump action
shotgun and drive a huge
this guy is so casual
and he's ready to die
or to blow his own truck up
over DVD players
I just don't understand
I hope the next one is going to be a prequel
about that dude's life.
Fast 10 is just a guy in truck driving school.
He's like, I'm so tired of getting fucked over by freaks in cool cars.
Here we go.
You do not need that for day one of truck driving school, man.
He's like a sharpshooter.
He hits every target. He's very good. He's like a sharpshooter. He hits every target.
He's very good.
He's very good.
He blows Dom's car out.
The end of this movie feels good
because later on we learn that Dom
is the best driver in the world
in the later movies.
But we see him fuck up big time
twice at the end here,
which is kind of weird.
Yeah, and Letty gets,
like, she goes off the road.
His tire blows out.
She's all fucking bloody.
It's pretty intense.
Like, it's a good, like, action scene that's also, like, believable in a way.
His arm gets, Vince's arm gets so fucked up.
And later in Fast Five, he's got scars all over his arm.
The character is really cool.
I was worried that it was going to rip off.
I was like, oh, no, he's going to lose his fucking arm, dude.
And then the truck driver takes the arm and swings it around.
And he's like, I'll fucking kill you all.
Vince switches his arm out with a NOS booster.
And he's like, finally.
NOS, NOS, NOS.
So then we're at Dom's house.
Dom's like, I'm gonna go get Jesse.
But then Jesse arrives and he's like,
I don't know, man. I just fucking
left. And then fucking Johnny Tran's
like, popity pop pop pop.
And I was like, just take your car. You don't have to fucking
kill the man. That's okay. Thank you,
Byron. This is when I was screaming
at my TV. It was like, the car's there and you have guns.
I feel like you could just take the car.
And you don't know that Brian's a cop at this moment.
He's about to witness a fucking murder.
Like you could just take the car.
Leave your motorcycle.
Leave the gun.
Take the cannolis.
And then, so he chases Johnny Tran down, shoots Johnny Tran, kills Johnny Tran.
And then he goes back to get Dominic.
And it's like, oh, no, he sees Dom has his dad's Dodge Charger.
And that's the story.
Oh, we forgot about his dad's thing.
That's the story.
My dad died in a car crash.
And as the flames grew higher, I heard my dad screaming. But they were like, no. That's the story. My dad died in a car crash, and as the flames grew higher,
I heard my dad screaming, but they were like,
nah, it's just you.
It was you screaming.
I was like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
It reminded me of that part in Gremlins where the girl, like,
talks about why she hates Christmas because her dad got stuck in the chimney
and died.
Dude, we talk about that a lot on Action Boys,
because I'm upset.
Like, it's the middle of a kids' movie about Christmas,
and it's like, dad got stuck in the attic,
and it's starting to smell, and you're like,
what the fuck?
This has nothing to do with gremlins.
This is so depressing.
It's so weird.
And I'm fucking nine.
Just show me Mogwai.
I'm here with fucking Gizmo, baby.
I just want to see some fucking gremlins rocking out
do some rock and roll music man come on can we talk for a second about how uh brian looks he
shoots johnny tran from the car which is such a funny yeah uh-huh yeah he like leaning his arms
on the like he's got his window down shooting gun's like, why is he killing this guy from behind anyway?
If he's a real cop, you've got to arrest him.
You can't just shoot a dude in the back as he leaves.
No, you really can't.
But, you know, that's what cops do.
They shoot to kill.
Yep, yep.
I thought he was black under that helmet.
That is not an excuse.
You're not allowed to say that out loud.
Sorry about it, but it's what i thought uh so then
so teredo's in papa's car yeah he's in his daddy's car they race for no good reason
they jump these train tracks a train almost hits them and they're like yippee we made it and then
fucking dom crashes into this truck.
I guess that truck driver was like,
I'll get my revenge, right?
It was a truck, right?
Yeah, it was probably the same guy.
God, I hope it's the same dude
being like, give me your garbage truck.
Give me your garbage truck.
He was like, all I'm trying to do
is deliver these DVD players.
Meanwhile, there's like a bunch of kids
who are like, we promise you,
the DVD players will be here soon.
We know you're all dying of cancer,
but you'll be able to watch your favorite movie. This was our make a wish.
Yeah, we just wanted an affordable TV DVD combo.
But then the movie ends with Brian giving Dom the keys to his car,
solidifying that they are friends and that I guess that the betrayal
isn't as bad as we think it is.
Yeah.
What about,
what does Vin Diesel say
when he pulls him out of the car?
By the way,
little Paul Walker
pulling out the human teddy bear
that is Vin Diesel
looks so funny.
He's so big
and he's trying to pretend
like he's limp,
but he's just so broad-shouldered.
Vin Diesel's doing all the work.
Yeah.
I think he's even like,
that didn't go as I planned.
He has some funny-ass line.
Something like that.
That wasn't how I thought it was going to go.
Yeah, that's how not I intended it to go.
So some trivia about this last...
Oh, wait.
There's a great piece of trivia.
Oh, sorry.
Keep going.
I was just going to say
there's a great piece of trivia oh sorry keep going i was just gonna say there's a great piece of trivia in there that fucking frankie muniz bought that jetta that's driven
in the movie when he was like malcolm in the middle like this is post malcolm the middle so
it must be like one of his first cars was jesse's white jetta that is so funny yes Yes. Good for him. I love Frankie Muniz.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
That's a, that's in the, it's in the trivia.
That's awesome.
And then you were also right that, uh, it's based on a racer X, a vibe magazine article.
Remember fucking vibe?
I miss vibe.
Yes.
1998, which, uh, detailed illegal street racing within New York city.
Wow.
Another piece of trivia. What? I was going to say, I was just City. Wow. Another piece of trivia.
What?
I was going to say,
I was just going to read the next piece of trivia.
Yes.
Well, I didn't know if you had it open yet.
Oh, baby, I got it all open when she yelled at me.
Neither Michelle Rodriguez nor Jordana Brewster,
who I took an acting class with while in LA.
Cool.
And she was very good for the acting class,
and she's also in the Fast and the Furious movie.
But they didn't have driver's licenses or learner's permits.
They learned on the set.
Wow.
Whoa, really?
Yeah.
I mean, that's the most actor bullshit ever.
It's like, can you ride a horse?
Yes, sir.
It's a national network. I can get on a fucking horse. And you're like, all right, here comes the most actor bullshit ever is like, can you ride a horse? Yes, sir. Is it National Network?
I can get on a fucking horse.
And you're like, all right, here comes the day you're like Googling how to ride a horse.
How do I do it?
The amount of times I've been like, yep, I can drive stick.
Yep, I speak conversational Spanish.
Just cast me.
Hurry.
I'm fucking broken desperate.
Another piece of trivia is over 1,500 cars were at race wars.
Whoa. Race wars. Another piece of trivia is over 1500 cars were at race wars This I didn't know Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez
were actually dating off screen
during filming their sex must have been
so hot
That's why that dry humping scene is so real
chemistry
So real chemistry
I'm barely speaking English
at the end here
Thinking about it It's so real chemistry i'm barely speaking english at the end here thinking about
it's a real cover you guys so real chemistry those two smashing together i would pay to watch
that i would get good money good chunks of money that fast 10 better be them just going ham on each
other then these are like 20 years older but but still bald, same skin tone, same everything.
Just somehow looks exactly the same 20 years later.
Like the fucking Marshmallow State Puff Man.
Just never changes the way he looks.
Looks great.
So, okay.
This, there's some awards to be had and nominated for.
Erickson Core, the film's cinematographer, was nominated for erickson core the film cinematographer was
nominated for a cinematographer cinematographer of the year award at the afi awards wow yeah wow
damn dog that's sick there's more vin diesel and paul walker won best on-screen team at the MTV Movie and Video Awards.
It was also nominated for best film.
Paul Walker was nominated for best breakthrough performance.
And Vin Diesel was nominated for best male performance.
Wait, Paul Walker was less, wait, breakthrough?
Shouldn't that be flipped?
I thought Paul Walker was more famous than Vin Diesel at the time.
No, this is like one of his early movies, I feel like.
He's just like a young, hot actor coming up into this movie.
I don't know how much Vin Diesel has at this point,
because he's in Saving Private Ryan and Boiler Room.
I don't know if those are before this,
but he's getting by playing some small parts in some movies.
You need to watch Tammy and and the t-rex
paul walker's in it yes tammy and the t-rex so is an anthropomorphic t-rex
it's he died so paul walker dies but his brain is saved and put into a robot t-rex
wow it's like paul walker and denise richards and has a crush right yeah on denise richards put into a robot T-Rex. Wow. It's Fall Walker and Denise Richards.
It has a crush, right?
Yeah, on Denise Richards.
We'll watch it.
I have it on Blu-ray.
This is wild.
Wait, should we get a DVD player from Dom?
Should we renegotiate our contract
for 11 episodes of Newcomers
and the 11th episode is...
Is Tammy and the T-Rex.
I love it.
It's a prequel,
man.
Where Brian becomes Brian.
Oh,
wow.
So the reception was okay.
Critically,
the film was not well received.
It currently has a 54% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
I mean,
but the audience loves it.
The audience gave it 74% and that's all
that's all
Vin Diesel's not making movies
for critics
he sure is not
he'll eventually become
a producer on the series
but for now
he's just acting in these movies
and he
is planning on making
family films
about a family
that are for families
to watch
yes
yes
yes
I can't believe
how much money this made
It's budget was
38 million
And it earned
207.3 million
Worldwide
Damn dude
And 40 million
In it's first weekend
Holy shit
So it made back
It's budget
Plus some
In the first fucking weekend
No
And no superheroes
No bullshit
No aliens
No Star Wars
And that was 2001
So that's like what
Trillions of dollars now
yeah i don't have time to calculate the rate of inflation it's 10 trillion dollars
uh betsy thank you so much for coming on newcomcomers. Thank you for having me. I had a blast.
I can't wait to watch all the other ones.
I feel like also I want to say, Nicole, thank you for having me.
Gabrus, thank you so much for doing this.
This is a dream.
I like how you refer to Lapkus as busy.
Yeah, she's busy.
She does things.
Well, I'm glad she is because I got to scream with two of my favorite people, Nicole and Betsy, about one of my favorite movies in one of my favorite franchises.
So be busy, Lapkus.
I don't give a fuck.
Betsy, did you plug anything?
No.
Please.
No, I didn't.
Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
I got some podcasts, Funny Feeling and We Love Trash.
Check those out.
And then, yeah, watch Golden Arm.
You can rent it or buy it. And it's going to be on HBO Max at some point.
I don't know when.
And check out Duncanville.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And why don't you guys, the listeners, after you check out all Betsy's stuff, write a review of newcomers because we will be picking one to read on the next episode.
Yes.
And spoiler alert, the movie we're covering in the next episode is...
Too Fast.
Too Fast.
Too Furious.
Too Furious.
The first of the Fast and Furious movies to not feature Vin Diesel.
Get ready. Wait, this is... Already? Then I haven't seen Too Fast, Too Furious. Too Furious. The first of the Fast and Furious movies to not feature Vin Diesel.
Get ready.
Wait, this is... Already?
Then I haven't seen Too Fast, Too Furious.
What Fast and Furious movies have I seen?
We're going to love Too Fast.
It's going to fucking slap.
How wild that they already don't have them in that one.
Oh, well.
I'm going to watch it, too.
I'm going to watch it.
I got to watch all these.
Also available on HBO Max.
Get with it.
Get on it.
Ooh, baby. I bought
them a while ago. I was like, I'm gonna watch
them all one day. And then,
you know,
I got to watch them all. So they're already
bought. They're in my iTunes movies
because they sold it as a collection.
And I was like, some people buy the Criterion
collection. I buy Vin Diesel's
collection. The Diesel
collection, if you will. Diesel collection. The Diesel collection, if you will.
Diesel collection. Okay.
Bye-bye.
Bye. Thank you. That was a Hiddem Original.