Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Fate Of The Furious (w/ Niccole Thurman)

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Niccole Thurman (Grace and Frankie, Jellystone) joins Nicole and Gabrus to discuss the eighth film in the Fast & Furious Franchise—The Fate of the Furious (2017). Follow Niccole on Twit...ter and Instagram and check out The Scroll Down on Headgum.  Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. All right team, listen up. This crew is about family, but the game has changed now. Dominic Toretto just went rogue. You're gonna turn your back on family? I know it looks bad. Don't give up on him so easy. You've only got one chance to make this family whole again. Don't do this, Don. You ready?
Starting point is 00:00:33 One thing I can guarantee, no one's ready for this. She's the very definition of high-tech terrorism. There's thousands of cars in this city and now they're all mine. Now I know what it feels like to be every cop ever chasing us. London, Abu Dhabi, Cuba. Our paths have crossed before, Don. You just didn't know it.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I think I need to remind you why you chose to be here. I got no choice! If you're gonna catch Dom, you're gonna need a little help. You wanna tell me why you just put me in a room with this teen crumpet-seating criminal? You know, I think that tight t-shirt cutting off the circulation your brain you should get bigger slice You guys are gonna work together. Love to Have been waiting for this we got a tank Now it's my turn
Starting point is 00:01:45 Baby We got a tank. Now it's my turn. Boom, baby! I don't know why you're doing this, but I know one thing. You love me. Fire! Hang on to your ass! Dump! Oh, boy. Okay. Boop, boop, boop, boop. It's newcomers. Do-do-ba-da-da. Wow, boy.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Okay. Lauren's not here. Testing out the new theme song. This new theme song, you know, I'm always creating. That's who I am. Okay. So, Lauren, she ain't here. She's fucking doing some shit, tinkering around at home.
Starting point is 00:03:01 She's got a little mini project. A little mini, tiny little project. Gabrus is here, and weering around at home. She's got a little mini project. A little mini, tiny little project. Gabrus is here and we are talking. No. Never apologize. I love you and I'm having fun.
Starting point is 00:03:12 That's all I give a fuck about. Okay. We're talking The Fate of the Furious from 2017. It's the eighth episode of our fourth season. We're working our way through the Fast and the Furious
Starting point is 00:03:26 franchise. Zoom, zoom. Ten episodes, nine movies, also Hobbs and Shaw. Okay, you guys, it's available on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu. Guess what? There's going to be spoilers, so if you would like to not be spoiled, watch the
Starting point is 00:03:42 two-hour film. Two plus hours. Two hours and 15 fucking minutes. It's got white lady dreads, so you should be able to sit through it. Honestly, those dreads were shocking. Fully, I texted you. I was like, Charlize Theron with dreads? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:04:03 Was she tricked in this movie? She has to wear dreads and kiss Vin Diesel. I feel like she owed someone at Universal a huge favor or like she fucked over some exec at some point. They shot all of her shit, I think, in three days. They were like, we have one location. The rest of it is you are on an airplane. No, the airplane won't stop for gas.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Nothing. You're going to keep flying. I'm going to introduce our introduce our guests oh baby oh nicole is an actress improviser and writer who's appeared on grace and frankie a black lady sketch show and shrill she co-hosts the podcast the scroll down with marcella arguello i think i say her name correctly or i don't think you do i've been saying her name wrong for years, and she's going to fucking roast me for that. It's also on HeadGum. So welcome, Nicole!
Starting point is 00:04:50 Hey! Hello, guys. How are you? Hi, hi, hi. We are wonderful. Well, this is the Newcomers Podcast, a.k.a. the toy shop. Grab whatever you want to drive, Nicole.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Ooh, I love it. I want the orange shop. Grab whatever you want to drive. Nicole. Oh, I love it. I want the orange one. Put it down. Blanta. I couldn't believe what he said. He got that black beard. He got Black Santa. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Oh, yeah. Blanta. There was so much happening in that movie. There was a lot. There was so much. At one point, they said, we're going to need a bigger truck, which I thought was funny because I think it's Jaws where it's like, we're going to need a bigger boat. Also, they said, get in.
Starting point is 00:05:26 We're going to blow up some nukes or something. And I was like, that's funny. Like, get in, loser. We're going shopping. I was like, they're just borrowing from other movies at this point. Yeah, half the dialogue to me seemed like, oh, is that for real? Oh, that's for real. That's really the words they're saying.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Okay, that's what they're saying. I kept thinking that. I was like, is this what? I guess I don't watch a lot of action movies. I was like, wow, they're really going classic bullshit lines. Nicole, what's your history with the Fast and the Furious franchise? Where do you play with it? I think that I've only seen the first one.
Starting point is 00:05:56 So what was that, like 2009? When was it? They've been going forever. 2000. So I saw the first one years and years and years ago but yeah that's all I've never seen any of them and I always
Starting point is 00:06:08 I can never I can't even believe that they're still going like even when I was playing this I was like this is so fun look at Tyrese still having a career
Starting point is 00:06:14 Michelle Rodriguez still working like because they're all just doing they've just been doing that for years and I haven't seen it since the first one
Starting point is 00:06:21 so yeah this was a real re-entry they gotta be like 10 monthmonth-long shoots and shit because these people can't work on anything else. It's just like, where's Luda been? It's like, oh, he's shot 11 Fast and the Furious movies in Antarctica, and you're like, oh, okay. That's all they do.
Starting point is 00:06:39 That's so funny to watch this movie with no context of any other Fast. It's even funnier to watch it with only the context from the first movie because you're like I only recognize Dom and Letty
Starting point is 00:06:50 and it's right and I should mention I have no yeah and I have no like I usually I'll shit I watched that movie an hour ago
Starting point is 00:06:57 and I'm like what happened in that movie like I have no memory yeah well thanks for coming on the pod yeah thanks for having me I can't wait to
Starting point is 00:07:04 recap this with you guys. No, but I was like, what? I don't even remember what happened. I thought Dom and Letty were brother and sister, so I was shook. I was like, what is happening? No, they're lovers. They're lovers.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Dom and Mia are brother and sister. Yes, Mia is not in the movie because she's not in it. Sadly, Paul Walker passed away, and instead of having him die in the movie, they just said, we can't call Brian we promised we wouldn't bother them is what they say we said we wouldn't
Starting point is 00:07:30 involve Mia and Brian but then he names his kid Brian and it's like so what is this this is like you promised to never call your best fucking friend again but you're gonna name your kid after him I didn't know what first of all
Starting point is 00:07:45 i did not know that was paul walker's character because again i haven't seen his movies in so long when he said this is and he like it was like this big moment this is brian i was like what the fuck i was like that has to have some meaning because otherwise that's crazy especially for a vince kid with a brazilian woman for it to be like they they're so ethnically ambiguous. You're like, this is my son Brian. You're like, really? The whitest? Oh, Brian O'Connor. Okay. A tribute to a character who's alive
Starting point is 00:08:13 but the actor is dead. Also, I loved at the end where the cars magically shield Dom from this explosion but I was like, it's a donut. Like, the fire would reach in the middle of the cars but it doesn't it's also ice
Starting point is 00:08:29 it's ice melt the fucking ice they would drown but I love when Dom looks at Letty and he's like I got so much to tell you and then they cut to him at the end of the story and she's like wow that was a lot very casual all of a lot very casual
Starting point is 00:08:46 all of this was very casual even honestly even him agreeing to work with Cypher I was like she just showed him a picture on her phone and she was like yeah sure I guess I gotta go turn on family besides Hobbs and Shaw this is my least favorite in the franchise and I think I would be
Starting point is 00:09:01 so much better off with the movie if one person on his squad just goes, yo, you think Dom is in some sort of hostage situation? Like, he's a legendary hero. You think he, is there, can we not work our brains around? We've been labeled terrorists 10 times in this series. Can we not wrap our heads around that Dom is in some sort of bind? And it's like, like nah he's turned
Starting point is 00:09:25 it's like letty was like i don't letty kind of was like i don't trust this i don't think dom would do this right but she doesn't follow through in anything at one point she barely questioned it yeah she was like this doesn't seem right but she didn't really say like let's try to figure out what's going on here people like she kind of was like we can fight against him i don't think he didn't i don't think he wants to do this but i'll just go with you guys on this on this journey she was like fuck this mission my potato-headed husband kissed fucking a white woman with dreads in front of me they could rot in fucking he double hockey sticks right i couldn't believe when they kissed i I was like, Cypher,
Starting point is 00:10:06 how sensual. Also, you're off the plane. How crazy. Yeah, she got into a different location. That was her second location. So she worked four days. Two locations, two days on the plane. I think they're in the same warehouse studio. I think they just shot
Starting point is 00:10:21 One Direction. How do you like that? Next level concussion grenades cool line cypher showing off your fucking gear and merch and as you blow people so many of her lines i was like what nobody who wrote this knows what she's talking about get the dmt effort blah blah scoop scoop and you're like what the fuck are you talking about that's another major part of a problem with this movie is that cipher is kind of a whack bad guy in that like we faced
Starting point is 00:10:52 owen shaw we faced deckard shaw now a good guy just so you know jason statham was the main bad guy of the last movie and then his brother at the end owen is the bad guy from two movies ago? From six.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yeah. They just turn around. And I heard that, I read somewhere, I don't know if I was supposed to read anything, but I read somewhere that Jason Statham's character killed one of their family, right? Yeah, killed Han. But then now they're working with him. He just turned around and became a good guy with them. They're like, it's okay, he killed him, but we're over it.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I forgot that he killed Han. Yeah. I fucking okay he killed him but like we're over it i forgot that he killed han yeah i fucking forgot he killed han and i'm like so why would dom want to work with the man who killed han you love han that's part of your team without saying too much uh when they reveal that shaw kills han is the third twist on han's death like the first twist is that it happens after movies five, six, and seven. And then the other twist is that it,
Starting point is 00:11:49 and then the twist that it's, there's still one more twist coming up in the series. So just get lost for the past nine. Oh boy. Final. I'm excited. I can't even promise. It's the final twist on Han's death.
Starting point is 00:12:02 To be honest, they can keep relitigating it for more. No, because we've got a two-parter coming out. We've got Fast 10, which will be in two parts, which I'm very excited about. Because it's going to be the last movie, right? Allegedly. And so then they're like, let's make it two movies so that we can keep doing this. They don't want to go home.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Vin Diesel famously says in every interview, we're not leaving anything off the table. Yeah. And it's just like he's literally just saying like whatever universal wants to pay me i'll do he's got it made i haven't heard from ben diesel in years but everybody else i mean he's huge to people that watch these movies he's probably making a ton of money he's thriving yeah i'd be like you want to make like 15 of these we just keep going we don't have to stop let's not and i gotta say in this movie dom teretto is no longer a human being he is a superhero unbreakable unkillable it's really
Starting point is 00:12:57 wild i was like i i could take a leap of you know imagination but this is fucking nuts right right right i will suspend disbelief but he doesn't he at one point carry a nuclear weapon with his like bare hands that what he's carrying when they're like breaking into the car and all that stuff's happening i was like what is going on they are very wild wild with these nuclear weapons like very loose with it yeah also who is cypher and why does cypher cypher no cypher is a whole organization not is Cypher? And why does Cypher... Cypher? No. Cypher's a whole organization. Not exactly. Cypher is one white woman
Starting point is 00:13:29 with a computer. I don't know. These white ladies with dreads, they cannot be trusted. We found that out during this movie. You know what I'm saying? She's either going to play you an entire album or get her hands on an EMP that'll shut down the world. She's going to pick up an acoustic guitar or a nuclear weapon of mass destruction.
Starting point is 00:13:46 One or the other. It's never in between. Yeah, exactly. Real quick, we got to get into the Toretto Gazetto. Oh, my God. Dame Helen Mirren and Vin Diesel dance in the rain after a Dolce & Gabbana fashion show. After a Dolce & Gabbana fashion show ahead of the venice film festival helen miran miran miran miran miran posted a moment she shared with her fast and furious co-star
Starting point is 00:14:12 vin diesel i danced in the rain with vin diesel miran captioned the photo on instagram during the london premiere of furious 7 in 2015 miran raved about the movie and expressed interest in appearing in the sequel. She reiterated her wish on the Graham Norton show, where he got around to Vin Diesel, who wrote a role for her. And the co-stars have been friends ever since. Vin Diesel, I would like to be in a Fast and the Furious movie, if this is how it works. Someone get it to Vin.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Right. All you got to do is just ask him. I mean, maybe if you're Dame Helen Mirren, it's not that hard. So he writes the movie too? She was already in another movie to be fair she was in six when she asked to be in seven or eight wait she was in six was she not in she was not in a previous one didn't we see her as shaw's mom no this might be the reveal i think this is the reveal because they barely used her and i was like what the fuck and then at the end i was like oh okay this this makes sense i gotta say i saw this pic this instagram posted of uh them dancing and i learned and understood shipping culture in that moment because i was like i was like i hoped they fucked
Starting point is 00:15:26 i hope diesel fucked helen mirren i would pay to see that i would also pay to see that they look so happy in the picture it looks like they did fuck yeah like they just got finished fucking put their clothes on in the limo and we're like let's dance in the fucking rain. Oh, I just saw a picture of her. They do look very cozy in these pictures of them. You see those? She's got that diesel fuel dripping down her leg. Oh!
Starting point is 00:15:58 Thanks, Nasty, but it's funny. She pulled up and said, fill her up. She said, fill her up. She said, the most important thing is family in between these five. She's like, don't worry. I'm old enough. We ain't making any more family. You can direct deposit.
Starting point is 00:16:15 That's right. The family line stops here. So I guess we should take a break before we get into the movie. So let's take a break. take a break before we get into the movie. So let's take a break. If you're wondering what a Nord VPN is, I'll tell you. VPN stands for Virtual Private Network, a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy. A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. I'm using a Nord VPN myself.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And honestly, it's very easy to use. You connect with one click to enable auto-connect for zero-click protection. It has amazing speed. NordVPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there and it supports every major platform, Windows, Android, iOS, Linux, even Android TV. You can switch your virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive NordVPN deal here at nordvpn.com slash newcomers, N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Link is in the episode description.
Starting point is 00:17:35 We're back. So this was written by Chris Morgan, who's written other ones. And then F. Gary Gray, who I think is new to the franchise. He's new to the franchise, but legendary director. He directed Set It Off, Friday, and then Straight Outta Compton. And then Straight Outta Compton, yeah. Which I think got him this movie. Did he direct a TLC music video, or am I just making that up out of nowhere?
Starting point is 00:17:57 I probably think he did. He might have. No, he probably, yeah. No, he has. But that's when I saw his name, I was like, oh, the TLC guy. He directed Waterfalls. Yes, I thought he did. He directed Waterfalls. See, that's when I saw his name, I was like, oh, the TLC guy. He directed Waterfalls. Yes, I thought he did. He directed Waterfalls, too.
Starting point is 00:18:07 That's how I know him, yes. I know his catalog. Not just TLC music videos, the TLC music video, Waterfalls, baby. Such a good song. Also, Set It Off, one of my favorite fucking movies. I love Set It Off. It's so fucking good. So this movie, I would say, starts...
Starting point is 00:18:29 The movies, they're so strange. There's always like an homage to like booties and race culture and Dom being the fastest person on whatever land he's on. So we start in Havana. Yeah. on whatever land he's on so we start in havana yeah i told you the last like five movies start with him somewhere in central america being what he believes to be like a local and this one he's speaking the most spanish and i'm here for it and i i don't speak spanish so i'm like is this good spanish yeah it's gringo Spanish for sure. Yeah. But I like, he's like, that's the Cuban spirit.
Starting point is 00:19:09 How do you know? You've been here for three months. You've been traveling the world. How long has passed since the last movie, bro? What do you know about the Cuban spirit? He's pretty presumptuous. Even the way he approaches Charlize Theron, he just walks up to her. She's obviously fixing her.
Starting point is 00:19:22 You need some help over there? He's just like, he doesn't know it all. So she said she had been watching him so I think this is a thing Dom does. He just sees people in need and he's like, I can't help. So they're on their honeymoon in Havana. His cousin is down there, Fernando.
Starting point is 00:19:38 He owes money to a local racer named Raldo. So Dom challenges Raldo to a race and Raldo's like you gotta race in this nasty ass car. So then Dom rips the doors off. Rips everything but
Starting point is 00:19:54 the engine. Really soups it up. Leave the engine. Puts the nitrous in there. Is that nitrous? And they're like this is gonna be, this isn't a car, this is a bomb now. It's Cuban Nas. Cuban Nas. Oh no, sorry. Letty says it. She's like this is a bomb now it's cuban cuban or no sorry letty says that she's like this is cuban and when i tell you i tee hee hee this bitch was laughing so hard at this opening scene i couldn't believe it so raldo says this isn't or what did he say it's not a it's not a quarter
Starting point is 00:20:20 mile it's not or something it's a cuban mile it's a cuban mile and i was like is that different is a cuban mile that's where you drive the car from from havana to miami somehow you drive it on the water i think it's the cuban you're smoking a cigar the whole way well how how hot is this dude by the way raldo is so fucking hot oh yeah raldo's hot my god i thought you were talking about Vin Diesel and I was like, no, I'm not getting it from him. No, Vin Diesel's very hot. You leave him alone. Vin Diesel just reminds me so much of a dad.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I just feel like he's a dad character to me. Well, Raldo can get it. He is a daddy now. That's true, that's true. But yeah, so he beats Raldo by creating a rocket car that launches backwards. And then he goes, look out to a bunch of people.
Starting point is 00:21:09 And then the car goes up in the air and lands in the water. And then Dom barrel rolls. And then he's in the Spider-Man pose. And he looks around real scared. And then a bunch of kids are around him. And he's like, oh, OK, they're kids. He seemed scared of these children he's always got to be on guard he was like they're coming to kill me because the motorcycle
Starting point is 00:21:31 guys tried to kill him or whatever oh yeah this part is so crazy if you saw any car race no less a car on fire would you be like celebrating in the highway be like He'll definitely stop before he gets to us. Yeah. He's driving backwards 85 miles an hour on fire. Cars on fire. Exactly. Seems very wild. Honestly, lose the race, Dom. He can't. Cars on fire, jump out, buddy.
Starting point is 00:21:58 No, he can't. He can't. Because he's like, it doesn't matter who's, what kind of car you're driving. It's who's the driver. That's what he says. And he's the best it doesn't matter who's, what kind of car you're driving. It's who's the driver. That's what he says. And he's the best driver in all the land. If he dies in this dumb race he's doing where he's driving a bomb backwards,
Starting point is 00:22:14 if he dies, Cypher kills everybody. Like, the world ends. And we're done. Yep. I don't get it. But he lets Geraldo keep his car because he says, your respect is enough. And then he leaves his car with his cousin Fernando. And then we never see Fernando again.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Fernando's like, the Impala? The Impala? Oh, wow. He's sick. Dominic Toretto, my Italian cousin from Los Angeles, visiting Cuba. Very wild. That's where I was like, maybe I've missed a lot of things because I really had no idea what was going on
Starting point is 00:22:48 in the beginning. I was like, does this show take place or the show, does the movie take place in Cuba now? I was like, what is going on? Where are we? What's happening? I mean, it is definitely like a cold open that like doesn't aid the story. No. The last few movies feature that. It's like, what has Dom been up to? He's like
Starting point is 00:23:04 he's the patriarch of a village in Central America. Always. It's like, oh, he went to a Latinx country, and he's the mayor of Guadalajara. He's like, oh, he's just, everyone's like, Dom! And they all speak English enough to communicate with him. It's such a power trip to become the EP of a movie and be like, every time we find my character, everybody in a different country loves him.
Starting point is 00:23:28 They're all just celebrating him. Josh is going to be standing in the streets celebrating me, telling me how wonderful I am. And then I win the race going backwards in a bomb. No big deal. So then he's just like walking along.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Also, is Vin Diesel pigeon footed? He walks funny in his boots. I never noticed. Or maybe he's bow legged. There's something going on with his legs, but I'm into it. So he meets Cypher because Cypher's like, oh, no, my car don't work. And then he's like, oh, you're missing this. And she's like, I know.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Here's a picture on my phone. And he's like, oh, God, oh, God, I got to leave the family. Got to leave my family. Got to totally turn on them immediately because I's a picture on my phone. And he's like, oh God, oh God, I gotta leave the family. Gotta leave my family. Gotta totally turn on them immediately because I saw a picture. Immediately. Don't you love when he comes out and he sees the woman having trouble with the car
Starting point is 00:24:14 and turns around and Charlize Theron, you're like, gee, I wonder if she's a main character. Wild. She's possibly just a one scene lady with a broken car. I wish they would do that though like I wish they would kill more big actors in movies like so that you wouldn't know they were going to survive just kill them or like make them a small character
Starting point is 00:24:32 make her just somebody he passes by on the street yeah throw the law and order rule in its face where it's like oh the most famous guest star is obviously the killer but if we do like Charlize is in this scene and then we never see her again oh that would be so sick if she appeared two movies ago like if she was just like two movies ago and now she's like it's like oh we had that one random scene with charlize yeah that would
Starting point is 00:24:55 take planning what happens is they re-watch the movies and go uh here's a plot hole that we can use to fuel our storyline in this next one. They retcon so much shit. I love it. They're just like, okay, yeah. And let's put Leo and Santos here.
Starting point is 00:25:11 We haven't seen them in three movies. That was so nuts. I was like, oh, okay. Knowing how the business works, that if, if Vin keeps throwing all his old cronies a day's pay for just being like,
Starting point is 00:25:23 come to Spain, shoot this thing behind an ambulance like that's kind of sick in a way they're like great yeah i'll fucking do that uh so then we see hobbs is now coaching soccer yeah oh and a lot and the ladies love it the ladies love soccer they're just staring at him he makes these little girls do a samoan uh i'm not sure what it is. It's called a haka. Oh, a haka. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:47 It's kind of like a warrior dance. I don't want to say that. Okay, that's what it is. That's exactly what it is. The way I know about it is in Maori culture, like the New Zealand indigenous people. I know this through rugby. Their rugby team famously does the haka before every match. And it's what the warring tribes used to do to each other to like demonstrate their power and would frequently cause the surrender like a haka could like
Starting point is 00:26:10 eliminate the fight because they're like these guys are so good at this it's scary they're probably gonna kill us because look at this dance oh so that's why that little white girl was like i don't want to play yeah and it's it's pretty rad to see it in such a mainstream movie. And I love that sequence. But I do hate, you know me, I hate when they apply any sex appeal to The Rock. He's just unsexual to me. I mean, they tried to apply it and then he was like, no. He's like, just a lot of moms.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I was also like, I know that he's muscular, but he looks massive in these movies. He doesn't look normal. It doesn't look like if you are a mom of an eight-year-old, you'd be like, oh, yeah. Because as someone who watches a ton of action movies for his career and his fun, every movie that features Arnold Schwarzenegger as a sex symbol, it's like, ooh, the hunky kindergarten teacher. It's like, this guy's a giant freak. He has huge tits. That's way too much to handle
Starting point is 00:27:05 it's a very specific type that's a very specific type that not every mom is guaranteed to be into a huge body a hairless bodybuilding alien but all these moms are very into it and they're smacking their lips at him and then this whole conversation i was like i don't get it i was like what just randomly come to the soccer game and show up? And he's like, hey, man, sorry. I got to show you these briefs real quick. But he was like, so you got to go do this, but it's not government sanctioned. And it was just really confusing.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Because he had been, what, a detective of some sort? And then they took it away. So they're like, listen, this is like beyond police work. Oh, yeah, because he became a criminal in the last one no wait see they just vacillate rapidly between being terrorists and heroes and like they've now gotten into like completely the gray area of like shadow governments so there's there's not even any explanation as to who's on whose side it's just like the bomb is bad stop the bomb lady then hobbs recruits dom lettyty, Roman, Tiege, and Ramsey,
Starting point is 00:28:07 the fucking family, the crews back together to retrieve a device from a military outpost in Berlin. And then Dom steals this thing and goes rogue. And you're like, oh, it's because Cypher wants it. Forces Hobbes off the road. And Hobbes is like, you can. Hey, buddy, you can hey buddy uh you can't give this back to me uh you
Starting point is 00:28:28 chum stuck a son bitch uh listen up you son bitch you better put that nuclear device down right now before the candy ass told you so the son bitch really got me I was like he's really hitting it hard he's really saying son bitch he loves saying son bitch
Starting point is 00:28:44 once per movie he does something from his wrestling days. And this is like, oh, is that what it is? Yeah, and so it's like 30 years after the fact, he's just dropping it in this movie. Well, I like it because wrestlers are pretty loyal to their fans. They absolutely, they're the type of people, well, not their, but what I see from The Rock and what I've seen from John Cena is like, they're like, of people not there but the the what i see from the rock and what i've seen from john cena is like they're like oh i understand that the people they made me so i will give them what they want because why not you made the rock literally was called the people's champ like so he really believes that extra and was this his first movie were these
Starting point is 00:29:20 his first movies because that's maybe why he worked it in? Has he been in it since the beginning? No, not since the beginning. He pops in in five, six, seven, eight. Oh, okay, so he knew it's a family. And then he gets Hobbs and Shaw. He gets a titular role in the next movie we'll be covering. If you're Toretto, do you not pull Letty aside right as you're doing the mission? Right. You're like, yo, look, sweetheart, I need you to not tell the rest of the team,
Starting point is 00:29:44 but I'm going to do something sketchy, but I mission. Right. And you're like, yo, look, sweetheart, I need you to not tell the rest of the team, but I'm going to do something sketchy, but I promise. Right, right. Because that's his rider's eye. Why do you not have one singular conversation with your girlfriend
Starting point is 00:29:53 to say, hey, man, I'm going to look sketchy for a minute, but trust me, I'm going to work out in the end. There's no conversation. And that's my thing is there's no conversation like that
Starting point is 00:30:01 and then there's no moment where anybody's like, bro, are you good? Why are you doing this all of a sudden? Also, they can speak to each other through the cars. I was like, nobody's pressing a button. They're literally looking at each other through the window, having conversations. I was like, that's not how that works.
Starting point is 00:30:18 No, they have like blanket Bluetooth available for everybody or some shit like that. Right. There's like no explanation as they can all hear each other and have a normal dialogue. It's so wild. Not like, go for Nicole. It's just like everyone's just talking amongst themselves. No, they're just free talking.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Right? So then he steals the thing for Cypher, who's a cyber terrorist. Hobbes gets arrested and gets locked up in the same high security prison as Deckard Shaw. What a coincidence. Right next door. Right through the glass they see each other.
Starting point is 00:30:49 So then Mr. Nobody comes back. And I'm like, still not clear on who the fuck he is. He's the representation of the shadow government. He's in charge of a CIA adjacent organization. Okay. That is hiring these people to do good missions. But also that's so vague and weird. And in real life,
Starting point is 00:31:09 an organization like that in America would be so fucking scummy. And I mean, it probably exists. What, what about they reveal everyone's been handcuffed. Are we at this point where everyone's been handcuffed by Scott Eastwood? No, no. So first they escape prison.
Starting point is 00:31:29 So Mr. Nobody sets it up for like Hobbs and Shaw to escape. And Hobbs is like, no, I want to get my job back the way I want to. You candy apple. But then he goes after Shaw. And I like to watch Shaw kick around his little kids, like those little prison slept on. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:49 It was very funny to me. I really like this scene because it's a kind of a fun. It's a fun choreography of like Shaw is sort of quick and knows martial arts and Hobbes is a monster who's insanely strong. Punching the cement and picking up that fucking bench and fucking doing arm rolls or whatever.
Starting point is 00:32:10 And then when the full fight breaks out he's getting fucking shot with the beanbags and shit and just taking it in the fucking dome. He's like rubber bullets big mistake and I was like why is it a big mistake because you're indestructible? I'm like that would actually hurt sir. I think it would anybody no matter how huge you are
Starting point is 00:32:26 yeah but he's so oiled up they just slide off of him if they shot him with two real bullets would he go like oh real bullets that was actually not a mistake you're right that will kill me oh no I'm dead oops oops now I thought those were rubber fucking little nobody has
Starting point is 00:32:41 them all handcuffed but like wrong because Letty gets out of them yeah let's talk about little nobody has them all handcuffed but like wrong because Letty gets out of them yeah let's talk about little nobody Scott Eastwood Clint Eastwood's son he sucks I remember seeing can I just totally not related to the movie I remember seeing pictures of him back in the day and being like
Starting point is 00:32:58 damn Scott Eastwood can get it but he looks like a little little guy like he doesn't I did not expect that I was expecting a little bit more of like a brooding intense figure he's just a little, little guy. Like he doesn't, I did not expect that. I was expecting a little bit more of like a brooding, intense figure. He's a, he's just a little nobody. I think he's handsome.
Starting point is 00:33:10 He's a cutie. He's a pocket, a pocket hunk. He's a little pocket hunk. A real pocket hunk, but he has no charisma. Like it is so clear. Like I'm like, Paul Walker had charisma and fucking buckets.
Starting point is 00:33:23 This dude has none. Yeah. And it, and it's really apparent when they bring him in that this movie needs Paul Walker in a way. It needs a Paul Walker energy. I will say the highlight of Scott Eastwood being in this movie is when The Rock picks him up, breaks the handcuffs, and picks him up and presses him into the wall. That's the highlight of Scott Eastwood's role in this movie.
Starting point is 00:33:43 It was very funny. Yes. So then we find out Cypher hired his brother Owen to steal the nightshade device, which is like whatever. And then she also hired Moses Janky, who is Dijuman. Dijuman Honsu. Dijuman Honsu. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I can't remember ever how to say his name, but he's so fucking hot to me. Yeah. So hot. To steal Eye of God god which is like how convenient that she's behind the last two movies we just didn't know it yeah she wasn't in those movies okay i'm see now i'm picking up here i'm like okay she was not she's just revealing herself in this one yeah and then they're labeling her as she's actually the main bad guy from the last two movies as well, which means that Shaw, Deckard Shaw, Jason Statham,
Starting point is 00:34:30 is not that bad of a guy because they need to start slowly pushing it as to why Hobbs and Shaw is the next movie to come out. Actually, he's just an employee. Yeah, and his brother is, who's the worst one also. And then they're going to save Dom's kid
Starting point is 00:34:44 to be redeemed at the end of this movie. It is wild how much of this movie was in service of setting up Hobbs and Shaw. Oh, that it was kind of wild. And I was like, I don't give a shit about Hobbs and Shaw. I do like Shaw though.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I do like Shaw too. And I thought I would like Hobbs and Shaw, but we'll talk about it next week. It's a different, it's a different vibe. I think they had to start setting up Hobbs and Shaw because The Rock and Vin Diesel's head-butting truly did not get along.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Were not getting along at all at this point. Oh, they didn't get along in real life? Yeah, and the rumor I heard is that once they're outside in that moment when they square up, there were plans to have a fight there, to have a big fight there between the two of them to help set up Hobbs and Shaw and Vin put the kibosh on them having the fight wow that's the that's the tea I've heard that's the tea I've heard I don't know if I if I'm speaking out of
Starting point is 00:35:38 turn but I heard that Vin was like lose that fight like that's too much attention for other people and then that's when Universal was like well let's spin it off with let's give the rock his own movies i love to hear this i also read an article that said that i may have mentioned this that nobody can like win or actually lose a fight like everyone just they take turns on who's like down and who's up but like nobody actually loses they have a lot of in their contract in vin and rock's contract after the fifth movie or like they had like a they have to land an even amount of blows in the final cut like it can't be like i obviously now that's just two men who are mentally broken who are like if my fans see me lose a fight in a movie they won't't like me anymore. They'll lose respect for me. They're gonna think I'm weak.
Starting point is 00:36:26 It's just the bald, muscly dude's dilemma. They're like, I have to. Yo, Nicole, you called it. It's like any other actor who just subjugates
Starting point is 00:36:35 their masculinity for a role, everyone sweats it. Like, artistically, everyone's like, whoa, Tom Cruise really went against type. So-and-so really went
Starting point is 00:36:44 against type. These guys are like, my character is never gonna die. And you're like, whoa, Tom Cruise really went against type. So-and-so really went against type. These guys are like, my character is never going to die. And you're like, oh, fine. Listen to some Brene Brown or something about vulnerability, okay? It's a good thing, honey. Prescribing Dom Toretto Brene Brown would be a really funny thing. What is this? You're going to like this, Dom.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Does she talk about family? So they track Dom and Cypher to their place moments before they attack the base. They injure the team, steal God's eye. Roman's like, let's call Brian. And Letty's like, no, we promised we would never call Brian and Mia again. And everyone goes, okay. So then. I'm dying.
Starting point is 00:37:22 I thought that he died in the series, too. I didn't realize that they kept him alive and just said don't call him i thought they yeah that he would have died in the series seems like like not an easy fix but like a good way to explain his absence tribute and yeah they can still memorialize him and no okay so don't call it so weird and wait wait wait till nine uh there's no. There's some fun Brian referencing. Oh, no. I can't get over.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Should we call Brian and Mia? No. We promised we'd leave them alone. It's so fucking funny to put. It's on par with, are we going to Tokyo? No, not yet. No, not yet. I'm just like the meta behind the scenes shit.
Starting point is 00:38:03 So Nicole Hine dies in the second movie, or no, the third movie in Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift, but then is in four, five, six, dies, or no, he goes to Tokyo in seven. So they spend like three or four movies with him going, can't go to Tokyo yet. I will go to Tokyo, but not yet. And it's so funny to me. The third movie takes place after the seventh movie chronologically.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Chronologically. Oh my God. But the technology is so disparate because that movie came out in like 2008. It's perfect. That's hilarious. This sounds like me trying to figure out what order to watch Star Wars in. Because it always tells you chronologically or the number when it came out. Watch it this time.
Starting point is 00:38:44 It's like, what is happening? This sounds the same to me. I feel like Nicole has some unique experience that can maybe help you with that. If her brain hasn't come five, six, one, two,
Starting point is 00:38:52 three, seven, eight, nine. And then there's some sagas that are friends of the, of the, yeah. Then you can go to rogue one solo and all that shit.
Starting point is 00:39:01 And then, the, what's, Oh, solo. That's what I was thinking of. Whatever. They're hard and I don't get it. And Solo fucking sucks. He didn't hate Solo.
Starting point is 00:39:15 I'm the only person who didn't hate it. You're controversial. I don't know. But also, I have no reverence to it. It's like, whatever to me. Also, I love when they were like when Roman's like use eye of God and then everyone's like you fucking idiot that's too easy
Starting point is 00:39:32 stupid and he's like hey what it's just a suggestion you know that scene that scene goes on to another fun thing too of like uh what's her name Ramsey's and Tej both doing like duo hacking and Kurt and Mr. Nobody being like,
Starting point is 00:39:49 why don't you get a load of this? And then all, and the way that they hack is like, what we can do is use the scuzzy bus backend. It's like, good call. So all we have to do is send that. And it's like, let's do it. And they do it. And he goes, told you they were the best.
Starting point is 00:40:01 It's like, what did they just say to each other? That's an improv scene. I thought improv, they're just clicking. That's like, what did they just say to each other? They said nothing to each other. I thought improv... They're just clicking... That's what I was just going to say. It's one of those scenes where you just see something. There were so many scenes like that where you're just seeing them clicking, clicking, clicking.
Starting point is 00:40:13 You're like, what are they doing? It doesn't even look close to something. That's all Charlize Theron did with her black nail polish. That was the only business she had was clicking, clicking, clicking. But, oh, wait. She does take Dom to see Elena that that she has stolen she captured elena elena reveals that she got pregnant with dom's son a couple months before he realized letty was still alive yes so nicole to break this
Starting point is 00:40:39 down for you so she's pregnant in that movie She's pregnant in the movie where she shows up and learns that Dom is back with his wife who he thought was dead and has revealed that who died in four and is revealed at the end of five to be alive, comes back as a bad guy in six, joins the team at the end of six, and Dom gets back with her and Dom's like
Starting point is 00:41:00 but in Brazil I met this woman who's a widow and I fucking I raw dogged her I'm sorry sorry about it that's what happened that's what happened
Starting point is 00:41:10 when it's revealed it's like what is more family than revealing that he has a kid actual family also I think what's so funny
Starting point is 00:41:19 is it cause now we're thinking when Cypher showed him the picture she was showing him a picture of Elena and the baby he didn't even say who that baby he just like was like okay let's go I'm on your team now Now we're thinking when Cypher showed him the picture, she was showing him a picture of Elena and the baby. Elena and the baby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:25 He didn't even say who that baby. He just like was like, okay, let's go. I'm on your team now. Well, the baby was bald. So he's like, it's mine. It's gotta be mine. Just cut to a shot of a baby with like a Photoshop Vin Diesel head on it. Like a huge potato head on like a little baby body.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Landing the same number of punches as a rock baby or something. Holding two wrenches. Also, I love that before it's revealed that he has a kid, he and Leti are in bed and she's like, do you want a kid? And he's like, and then like lifts the covers. She's like, not now. Then when it's revealed that he has a kid, I i was like that is funny that they like set it up that they're like maybe we do want a kid yeah and again that is literally just writing so that when the kid is part of the plot letty is okay with raising the child of so it's so complicated
Starting point is 00:42:20 raising the child of a woman her husband fucked while she was uh having amnesia because they thought she was dead and was a bad guy how long was she even dead did they bury her did they see a body she was dead for a whole movie yeah whatever that how long is that in real time for them god knows two hours and 45 minutes minimum he's like damn i'm so sad you want to like you want to hook up with me i mean well he's like just grab a condom he's like damn i'm so sad you want to like you want to hook up with me i mean well he just grab a condom he's like no fucking way he's like no let he's dead let me dump in you but uh he almost fucked gal gadot or no gal gadot threw herself at him and he's like in four yuck and then fucks this next lady and it's wild so okay later they're in new york city
Starting point is 00:43:06 cypher sends dom to retrieve a nuclear football held by the russian minister of defense and this is nuts so dom now has a bulletproof uh fireproof rocket car he looked yeah and he had that outfit he looked like a freaking superhero all of a sudden it felt like a superhero movie to me but he looked like the iron giant yeah he looked he looked because he's wooden as fuck he's iron as fuck he's literally like he can barely he doesn't move he's not young no he is he's massive and he wears bootcut jeans in like every scene so he could only do so much physically i think he was probably 50 when that movie came out because I looked it up today
Starting point is 00:43:47 because I was like, how old is this dude? He's 54 now. So he was probably 50 when they shot that. He's getting up there. Yeah. That's old for like,
Starting point is 00:43:53 I mean, that's not old, like Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr. was like 63 in The Last Avengers and has a kid or whatever.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Get a fucking grip, bro. These guys are on so much HGH that they just like stay young forever until they're like 75 and then their head is huge yeah yeah real quick we have to take a break and we're back this is a fun sequence because so dom is like my car broke and she's like you five minutes and he's like okay and somehow dom has orchestrated a way for her not to be able to. He knows where cameras are, apparently, because he orchestrates a way that she cannot find a camera to get on him. Has a truck pull up. We don't know this. Magically, a truck pulls up to like also, you know, hide him.
Starting point is 00:44:58 And he in five minutes was able to leave and have. Oh, wait, do we not? We don't know. Yeah. Do we know that he goes and talks to Helen? We see it now. Yeah. We see it now.
Starting point is 00:45:10 We see it now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he can go to a bar, have a conversation with her and then make it back to his car and then have the other car move within five minutes. Sir,
Starting point is 00:45:20 I don't think so. No, no, it's so, it's so much moving parts that you don't even that we don't even care about like we don't know like we it hasn't been established what cypher will do if she catches him or anything so like there's no stakes for us it's like and we don't even know like what mission he's on it's like i'm going to get a nuke hold on let me pull but he still gets
Starting point is 00:45:40 the nuke and you're like okay so your plan your plan is still kind of suck. I love when they reveal that it's the Cuban hunk who's helping him out in the truck. I loved it. That was a good little reveal. I was like, okay, so we did need that cold open. I would say. He got the respect. So he's like, I have, I respect that man. I should go help him with a deadly mission.
Starting point is 00:46:01 I'll fly to whatever country you need. Oh, you're able to track me down while no one else on your team knows what you're up to. You're able to track down a guy you met one day in Cuba and get me to fly to America and help you out. And I love when they show his face, a very memorable, handsome face.
Starting point is 00:46:18 They still show the flashback to Cuba to just be like, you remember this dude. It was two hours ago, but you can remember this. That's the thing, the movie's so long, it's like, you've this it was two hours ago but you remember this that's the thing the movie's so long it's like you've probably forgotten you've fallen asleep and woken back up yeah how does this happen because at this point he and
Starting point is 00:46:33 Jason Statham are not working together yet right because this is a scene where he asks like mom will you tell your son to work with him yeah he asks mom no but then he shot Jason Statham oh wait no is that later that that was that's yeah that's later that's okay that's part that was after yeah so anyway cypher fucking knocks cars out of buildings somehow she can hack into every single car ever made no matter what year no matter what kind of
Starting point is 00:46:56 car and she can hack into the computer of the car she makes them go backwards forwards fall out of buildings i love when they say shit like there's a ton of empty cars around, aka we're gonna smash all these things and no one's gonna die so you don't have to get upset. No one will die. It's fine. We're gonna get them from parking garages. People are shopping. And then it's all explained away with her going,
Starting point is 00:47:18 uh, turn off all the safety mechanisms. On all of them? You know, it's like, yeah. What is a safety mechanism what do you mean now we have full control of falling cars is this now what is the eye of god is that a software that they're using to do all those things because they say that cypher has control of it right is that what she's using to make the cars do whatever she wants no no isn't that where she can see all the cameras yes the god's Eye is from Seven.
Starting point is 00:47:46 And that's what they rescue from Jimon Honsu and hate. Ramsey, the hot woman from Game of Thrones, she invented God's Eye. And they use it to try to look for Cypher. Cypher uses that looking for it to counter find it and then steal it with in that moment. And it's like, what does she need the gods? I thought she's a better hacker than Ramsey.
Starting point is 00:48:10 She can't make the gods. I found Vin Diesel. What else does she need to find? So you're saying a black woman created something and then a white woman stole it. A white woman with dreads. So she's stealing a lot from the black women, cultural and digital appropriation.
Starting point is 00:48:27 That's right. That's right. She's taking it all. That's right. You don't like her. IP appropriation in addition to. That's right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:34 So then the team intercepts Dom. Letty gets that thing. She's like, you won't shoot me. And then the other guy comes and he's like, maybe I'll shoot her. But then Dom escapes. He kills Deckard. And I'm like, so within this shoot her. But the Dom escapes. He kills Deckard. And I'm like, so within this like eight now, eight minutes. So he had that five.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Now we're up to like eight minutes. Deckard's mom has called him already to be like, play dead. I had my cuppa, play dead. I think this heist is a little further along timeline. Like they maybe had some time to set that up, but I'm not positive. It seems like. Because it's still the same why only involve shaw and not and like not anyone that you're friends like the bad guy also this the way they get dom out of the car is they put like the ropes into his car or whatever and then they're like stretching the car out but then
Starting point is 00:49:24 wait does he throw the door off let's talk about this for a second because they all shoot the harpoons into his car and they're trying to pull him in a certain direction but he's got the most horse and this is the dude the dialogue
Starting point is 00:49:40 in the scene is so upsetting it's literally like he's got to have a thousand horsepower underneath that thing. Roman's like, thousand. Try three thousand. And then Deckard Shaw goes, more like five. Five thousand. And then Tyrese is like, man, not the Bentley.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Come on. Why'd you bring it? And who cares about the horsepower? You guys are having more like more like 5 000 this is while they're like pulling on each other they're debating how much horsepower is in the car it's so funny it's also a little upsetting that dom teretto is our car guru for this is the eighth movie in a row where we expect him to be a car guru but he doesn't have the coolest most tricked out car until cypher gives it to him and it has like a jet turbine and
Starting point is 00:50:25 5 000 horsepower and it's bulletproof and it can drive it's got snow tires no tires it can be on fire drive through fire it's wild so then uh cypher has roads fucking kill elena in front of him and this is so fucked up and it's so obviously the writers being like we got to get elena out of the picture or else she's got to be in every movie as the mother of the kid it's like let's just fucking kill the bitch it's like got it it's like headshot like it's so that's so funny oh wait and i forgot he when he meets the baby, puts his necklace on the thing and the necklace is a tracker. And I was like, this necklace has a lot of heavy lifting to do in a lot of these movies. It's like, it's gets a lot of play. It's like handed between characters in almost every movie.
Starting point is 00:51:19 And we're supposed to, and he even calls it like a shitty $10 piece of silver or something like that. But like Letty gave it to him. So it means him so it means so much yeah yeah yeah it's nostalgic does it have me is it do we know it's a tracker in any of the other movies or is this the first time this is the very first time we had a long time tracking anything a long time to make it important but not important it's what it becomes more and more important each movie yeah it's he's like it's got to be about family and my chain family and the family jewels so they infiltrate this russian military base and they use emp we don't know what this is to disable their security so dom can just drive on alone and i love how like every time they like see dom they're like uh maybe he'll have
Starting point is 00:52:05 a team they're like no he's gonna be alone and then he's alone and then the team arrives shuts down the submarine but then i'm like why does cypher want this submarine so bad okay let's let's talk about this ice fucking planet concept that yeah where are they so they're in russia and this is and this and they get a classic fast and the furious setup of like uh that russian base is supposed to be empty i believe everyone inside of it is now considered a terrorist or whatever and it's like so go kill everyone they're not just guys who are doing environmental cleanup or anything like that feel free and they show up in like 10 different really cool cars pull into the parking lot and get out and enter the building it's like they sure do well and how come they never carpool they never carpool
Starting point is 00:52:53 it's like we need all 10 cars the cars don't each do something one car gets hit then you can tell fucking uh tyrese to hold on to the door and then you'll pull him up out of the water and then he can fucking skate on the door that's why i i think they think this this ice chase is is very cool but i don't think any of the set pieces in this movie rise to the power i like the prison fight sequence yeah but it's that's more or less like a music video it's not like anything interesting and then i do like the cars falling and that sequence, but this feels like it goes on forever. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:53:32 now they have missiles and they suck with them. It's like, it's just, and also that's not ciphers bad guys. That's like a different, that's like the Russian. And it's like, this is more complicated than it needs to be.
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's so complicated. and while that chase happens and i do think it's like rather lackluster like i think we've had more exciting ones yeah i do like the sequence with roman he gets a fun sequence because they've been kind of setting him up as like the wuss or whatever the whole time he gets that cool slides on the car door behind gets up, hits a dude with the car door, ices three dudes real fast, and gets like his little badass moment. Yeah, because you think he's just like a goofy guy
Starting point is 00:54:11 the whole time, and then all of a sudden he's like, I'm done with this, and then he just shoots them all. It's pretty cool. He literally says, I'm done with this, and murders people.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I feel like his agent requested like, hey, Tyrese wants one thing where he's a badass. Just one little thing where he's cool. He needs a moment. Because in six or seven, he chickens out on dropping out of the plane in the car. They even call it out in this movie. And he's like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:54:38 I was having engine trouble. So then Deckard teams up with his brother Owen, who's out of a coma. He was really not okay two movies ago or one movie ago. One? Jesus Christ. It doesn't even fucking matter. No, it sure doesn't. So then they get on Cypher's plane to rescue Dom's son.
Starting point is 00:54:56 And Owen takes control of the plane. He's like in the cockpit. Deckard gets the baby, shoots a bunch of people. It's real cute. They put earbuds on him or whatever. And they're like,, shoots a bunch of people. It's real cute. They put earbuds on him or whatever and they're like, he's gonna get crazy. And then he's like shooting people. You like that song, mate? They're playing a little
Starting point is 00:55:11 Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song. It's cute. Wait, is that Smile? Did you shit? No, it was that man I just killed. Of course we have the did you shit. I do like when he says were you about to shoot a baby? You sick fuck. I like Jason Statham.
Starting point is 00:55:29 I think he's great. I don't think I had ever really paid much attention to him in other movies. I don't really watch a lot of action movies, but I liked him. I was like, oh, he's cute and funny and charming. He's got comedy chops because he knows how to play his hardcore type for comedy as well so he does it
Starting point is 00:55:47 he does a very good job i think yeah yeah and and just uh we'll talk about it next week on hobs and shaw and but it's it ain't the same without it ain't the same without our boys and girls um so then cypher fires an infrared miss oh wait so she fucking dips out she's like only one of us has has a parachute t he he bye-bye and i was like bitch i would put your hair in a bun because like what if that the dreads get caught on something anyway so then she fires a missile at dom but like it's a it's a it's a heat something everyone knows what it's called that's what i like about uh this movie too is like tej or the rock or anyone they could just arbitrarily justify of like what they're firing heat seekers we're toast like they know way too much about everything it's
Starting point is 00:56:38 like heat seekers are those cx-71s we better. As soon as they're fired, they knew what it was. As soon as she let them go, they were like, oh, we got to go. It's heat seekers. Yeah. And then Dom, he's done this a lot. He shoots the car up into the sky and he hits the fucking submarine. And then the missile hits the sub and there's a huge explosion. I don't give a fuck, but I do like the logic that it's like, it's a heat seeker.
Starting point is 00:57:10 So he's like, all right, well, I'll throw fire on the back of my car and make the missile chase me. And then I will drive in a circle, make the missile miss me once. It'll turn and follow me. And then I'll hit a ramp and I'll bring this missile directly into a submarine. I mean, and aren't there nuclear weapons on the submarine or somewhere? I mean, right. Yes. We're not having like a huge explosion here. Is Cyp weapons on the submarine or somewhere? I mean, right? Why are we not having like a huge explosion here?
Starting point is 00:57:29 Is Cipher on the submarine in this sequence? I thought she was. No, Cipher, she took a parachute out of her hair, her hair, her airplane. Her airplane. Could have been a airplane. Well, because she has a woman doing her locks whenever she's up there. She calls it her airplane. It's my airplane, bitches. It's my hair plane, bitches.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Straight to my hair. I gotta say, they were the weirdest dreads I've ever seen. They were just like twisted and I was like, how are they staying? Right. They're just like loosely twisted. Yeah, it's weird. In the deleted scene in the beginning of the movie, do you see it on the Blu-ray where Cypher's on vacation in the Bahamas and she gets someone at the beach to do that?
Starting point is 00:58:04 Really? No, no, I'm just saying. It does look like a white woman on spring break for sure. If that was real, I was like, they should have left it in. The movie was already an hour or two hours and 15 minutes. Plus another 10. So Mr. Nobody comes to the penthouse in New York where they live now.
Starting point is 00:58:22 I guess they're done with la because the house blew up to report that cypher is still operating baby so i guess she'll be back in nine setting it up good guess but i don't need cypher anymore i want somebody else cypher was not interesting to me uh decker delivers dom's son putting their differences aside with dom and hobbes dom names his son Brian and celebrates with his family. The amount of times family was uttered in this movie. Cypher asks a question at one point. She's like,
Starting point is 00:58:52 do you know why I did this? And he's like, family? And she's like, no. No, man. There's other things to talk about. Yeah, she literally says, like, stop saying family. Okay, you can answer this question. Just not allowed to say family okay and he's like but uh family what do i how do i talk you just reminded me of like my favorite vin diesel moment
Starting point is 00:59:12 in the movie and i forgot to call it out when it's like we're setting up cypher like her thing is that she like knows psychology and logic or whatever she's like are you familiar with choice theory here's the thing you go to shoot me. My guys will come in here with Bubba and he goes, even if I could get to you, the two person fail safe wouldn't work. Cause I'm alone! Cause I'm alone! I'm so mad!
Starting point is 00:59:36 And you're like, I'm so mad! I'm like, what dude? Gun in her face, screaming. What's the opposite of family? Alone! What's the opposite of family he was very unhappy he's like this is not what i'm supposed to be i'm supposed to be my family all of his screaming was so funny to me oh it was a lot his whole voice is just very funny it's kind of like a very low frog sound it was was cracking me up. Boy, oh boy.
Starting point is 01:00:10 And then Hobbes declines the offer to go back to, I don't know, being whatever the fuck he was. I was like, okay. I got to say, this is, I think, maybe the worst one. It's not. I did not have as much fun as I wanted to have. If you just go, like, the way I look at these movies sometimes is like set piece to set piece and it's like the action sequences in 5, 6, and 7
Starting point is 01:00:28 are better than the ones in 8. Yeah. And it's just like that, then you can't, like that's what you're going to see these movies for. Like, I think a lot of people,
Starting point is 01:00:37 because I think 9 kind of course corrects a little bit. I think people knew that 8 was kind of lame. Like, I think people, I think people felt that. Yeah, I was expecting a little bit more from it too,
Starting point is 01:00:46 because I was like, you know, I haven't seen it since the first one. So I was like, this is going to be big, huge action sequences that are gonna be super fun. And it was kind of like, I mean,
Starting point is 01:00:54 yeah. Well, the, are you inspired to watch nine at all? Nicole, after, is it out already? It is available to rent.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Yeah. I would maybe watch it. I now I'm curious. I mean, I get curious now that i've seen it is it good i would watch four five six those are great i really like four five and six yeah i like five six and seven uh okay that's like my that my five six is a good overlap but yeah i want to see them because i mean obviously they've been around for so long
Starting point is 01:01:20 there has to be a reason for it so maybe i'll check them out not nine is fun nine is like more heightened than you could really imagine and i'm like i don't want to i don't even want to tell you some of the details but nine is nine is wild what's that one called f9 is that what it's like yeah f9 okay but the people felt the same way we felt it has 67 on rotten tomatoes a critic from vanity fair wrote it's still a whirling good time, but maybe the next film should pare things back, return to those simpler pleasures, cars and Coronas, the big California heat, a simple backyard cookout.
Starting point is 01:01:56 I fucking agree with this critic. I love the first one. The first one is so good to me. And then I do love like the wildness of 4, 5, and 6 but like it would be nicer to just like not have them be like impenetrable FBI fucking people who don't die
Starting point is 01:02:13 that's what I was so confused about because I was I don't remember the first one very well but I don't remember them being impenetrable FBI people like when they were talking about weapons of mass destruction I'm like what the hell happened in all these other movies that I haven't watched like where am i in fast seven they say out loud uh this isn't car stereos anymore yeah it's like oh right the premise of one we stole car stereos well to answer your question about pushing further and further away from the first movie, the next line in what you're reading, it had a budget of $250 million and by its end grossed $1.2 billion.
Starting point is 01:02:54 That's insane. My God. So they don't give a fuck that it's nothing like one because it's a money factory. It's so much money pay vin diesel whatever he wants pay all these actors whatever they want because they the fucking movies are printing cash uh when the trailer was first released it ranked as the biggest debut to date with 140 million online views in the first 24 hours. Also, this is the most cars being wrecked in a movie.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Topping Fast Five's vault sequence and Fast and Furious 6's tank sequence. It felt like it. When all those cars were dropping out of the building, I was like, damn. They're so nice, too, and they just destroy them all. I guess that's the point, but also it's a lot.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Does Scott Eastwick come back in the next one i don't i think they he does not no i'm pretty sure he's not and if he is he's not integral in any way he's just he's very handsome but like fully like like man i was so mad with his performance and again just to be the white guy on the podcast saying like also the the crew doesn't need just another handsome white guy it's like it's evolved past that like yeah don't try to fill paul walker just keep adding rappers and dj's and shit like that's like those are the fun people to put in like bring back some of those other i don't give a fuck about uh scott eastwood like no the movie they're bigger than that now where it's like unless that name that you want to drop in is like mark walberg or something then go right ahead no i don't want to touch this franchise
Starting point is 01:04:37 no he would bring such he can't he's like get out of here he's like too close to vin yeah well he's wooden he's too close to Vin. Yeah. He's wooden. He's too close to Vin. Yeah. He would step on Vin's shit. That's hilarious. We've come to the end. Oh, thank God.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Do you, well, you have to, you got to get out of here. I'm trying to get you out of here. Nicole, do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah,
Starting point is 01:05:00 you can. I think we already plugged it a little bit, but listen to the scroll down. It's another head gum podcast. You can find it HeadGum podcast. You can find it anywhere you get your podcasts. I'm on a cartoon called Jellystone on HBO Max. And otherwise, just follow me on Twitter and Instagram.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I love it. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. You'll be tagged in the tweets and Instagrams about this episode. Yeah. We love it. And you co-host The Scroll Down with Marcela Arlla argueo right yes marcella argueo yes argueo argueo just curious i thought we nailed it really have just been you got it and i didn't nail it i I failed it. Anyway, Raiden.
Starting point is 01:05:47 So, blur a flirt. Please talk about Vin's tiny pointy nips. I've never noticed. Nicole's Dom impression is the best. Thank you. Gabrus knows stuff. It's a really fun time. Okay, cool. Refreshing. It's refreshing to hear. Oh, this is from Jesse Inferno. It's refreshing to hear oh this is from jesse inferno it's refreshing to
Starting point is 01:06:07 hear that takes the people watching a fan beloved franchise for the first time as someone who watched most of the fast and furious movies in real time the way nicole and gabriel's break them down make me want to go back and take the ride all over again keep it up hope you guys do the mcu we already did the Madea Cinematic Universe so okay done okay Kurt
Starting point is 01:06:29 so keep listening keep writing reviews next week we're back with Hobbs and Shaw see you then that's hilarious bye bye
Starting point is 01:06:41 bye bye Bye-bye! Bye! Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.

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