Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Flash (w/ Patton Oswalt and Pete Holmes)
Episode Date: March 26, 2024Lauren and Nicole have finally reached their final film of this epic Batman journey: Andrés Muschietti’s The Flash (2023)! Starring Ezra Miller as the titular role, this film has more Batm...an (or should we say... Batmen) than originally meets the eye. Joined by special guests Patton Oswalt (Ratatouille, King of Queens) and Pete Holmes (Crashing, The Pete Holmes Show), Lauren and Nicole weave their way through the complicated multi-verses of the DC world while also taking time to wonder about The Flash’s snack intake, time travel, and how much in life is effected by a can of tomatoes. Follow Patton: Instagram, TwitterFollow Pete: Instagram, TwitterNext week tune in to hear our special Newcomers Presents: Improvised Batman livestream! Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Tell me something.
You can go anywhere.
Another timeline.
Another universe.
So why do you want to stay and fight to save this one?
Because this is the world where my mom lives.
I'm not gonna lose her again.
Time has a pattern...
...that it can't help reliving.
Different people,
different worlds drawn to each other like magnets.
My face.
So my face.
If you were to go into the past,
you have no idea what the consequences can be.
Bruce, I could fix things.
You could also destroy everything.
This can't be happening.
I completely broke the universe.
It's all right.
We've been waiting for you.
I created a world with no metahumans. You broke the universe. It's alright. We've been waiting for you.
I created a world with no metahumans.
And now there's no one to defend us.
Want some help?
Paul.
You're... You are...
Yeah.
I'm Batman.
If I can't undo what I did...
If I can't get back...
There might not be a future.
What's the play?
Batman, what do we do?
We try not to die. 🎵 The Batman No it's The Flash
I got so confused I was like
I fucking watched the wrong movie
What are we talking about
Can I just do my plugs and leave
Again What are we talking about? Can I just do my plugs and leave?
Again.
The Flash!
I almost said the Batman again. Oh my God, I'm sweating now.
That's what's written.
That was a lot for me to answer.
Was that a real mistake?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was, buddy.
We read.
Look.
I've already made my thoughts known on y'all's reading.
Sure.
Wait till we get into it and you watch me stumble over words.
No, no, no.
We.
Okay, wait.
So we're covering Batman movies this season.
Yes.
We've gotten.
We've done them all.
We've done all of them.
It's been a lot.
Yeah.
And this is the 13th and last episode.
Before our exciting live stream.
Yeah.
Which is going to be a really big deal.
We're improvising
batman scenes with bobby moynihan and karen killer i can't wait i can't wait i'm really
excited everyone should be tuning in for that you can get tickets now to watch from home but
we're covering as much as we can of this franchise of course it goes very far and very deep but today
we're discussing the 2023 movie the flash starring Ezra Miller. Boy oh boy.
The Flash is available with a subscription on Max and Prime Video and you can watch it
for a fee on Apple TV Plus, Google Play and Vadoo.
Vadoo?
We're obviously going to spoil the film in deep, deep, deep depth.
So get ready for that if you care.
Boy oh boy.
Our guest today.
I'm very excited You better believe
We got
Pete Holmes
And Ben Oswald
Who are comedians
Actors
Writers
And you know them
From crashing
The Pete Holmes show
Ratatouille
King of Queens
We watch Ratatouille
A lot in my home
Can you pronounce that again
Ratatouille
Oh damn
You blended our intro
It's like a New Zealand almost
What the hell
Or Scottish
Ratatouille is very big In my house Oh really Yeah yeah yeah It's really small Leela loves it Our five. What the hell? Or Scottish. Ratatouille is very big in my house.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's really small.
Leela loves it.
Our five-year-old loves it.
Loves a little ratatouille.
Hard to get her to watch a full movie.
She calls it Cooking Rat.
Cooking Rat.
Oh, I'm sure that's what it's called in Japan.
It's probably what Ratatouille means.
Cooking Action Rat.
Yeah, Cooking Action Rat.
And she loves the gun.
I'm sure you get some.
Do you ever get guff for the gun?
There's a gun? Why have I not thought of that?
Yeah, the old lady is blasting away
with a shotgun.
Oh, when she wants to kill all the rats.
It's very not Disney.
I love Illumination. You see more guns
in Illumination.
That doesn't bother me, though. They're all trying to escape.
Maybe it would be a broom.
There is a hidden...
I didn't think of a rat problem.
There's a little hidden Easter egg in that scene, though,
because she's a sweet old lady who's weirdly adept with a shotgun,
really knows how to blast that thing away.
And you can blink or you'll miss it.
There's a picture of her on the mantelpiece, young, in a beret.
She was in the French Resistance.
Oh.
I love the details like that. She was a resistance fighter
and they added that
in the background
to explain why she's so...
Why she has a gas mask.
A gas mask.
Yeah, she went through all that.
This is a Ratatouille podcast now.
There's another gun in it.
How well do you know
your own movie?
There's another gun.
Yes, and it's only shown
in shadow.
It's when the two lovers
in silhouette are arguing.
It goes, you don't have the guts and she fires and then they kiss and it's such a... It's not shown in shadow. It's when the two lovers in silhouette are arguing. He goes, you don't have the guts.
And she fires, and then they kiss.
And it's such a-
It's not shadow, though.
He watches them fight, and he has the gun.
Remy runs forward.
They hear the gunshot.
You circle back.
Why am I telling you about-
Should they edit it out?
And then you see they're not in shadow.
And then you see they're kissing.
Yes.
They should change to walkie-talkies.
Initially, they are in shadow, though.
I'm sorry.
I think I know my film.
You do.
I wasn't correcting you as much as it's such a nice moment that you circle back.
Sorry ladies.
The Flash.
Honestly, no.
I'm thrilled that we're talking about Ratui.
No questions about my projects?
Do you like Ratui?
Which camera do I Krasinski to? which one's my mug yeah yeah what does he do what does he do the
paul in phase two where this one that's just right you also have your podcast you made it
weird thank you yes padden's been on twice yes i have so check it out i really appreciate that
yeah it's hard to grow a podcast when you've been out for 11 years that is a long time it's a long
time but it's a long time.
That's like OG podcast status.
It's been revitalized.
It's like we're in a nice renaissance.
You know why?
Why?
Because my daughter's five.
And I'm finally, she's in an age where I can kind of like.
Interview her and make it weird?
Yeah.
She was a great guest.
Great guest.
A little dirty.
Oh.
Well, you raised her.
Kind of alt-right, which was weird.
But our numbers are through the roof.
Are you kidding?
The numbers on Rumble are insane.
Pat, you can't eat on a podcast.
He's doing it.
While he was talking about playing the goblin,
he was goblin.
Wait, okay.
What is your guys' relationship?
What's your relationship to Batman or the DC Comics?
You obviously love it.
You have a shirt on.
Yeah, I wore my Roosevelt's Batman shirt.
You have a deep, you both obviously know a lot about this.
I'm laughing in Dwight.
This is everything you were.
There's a fly on my microphone.
Were.
Were.
Sir. This is the most chaotic.
This is everything you were.
R. M.
Now. No, I know it. Thank you.
I did wear my Batman shirt. Can I go
first? Yes, please. I'm just
going to say I absolutely love Batman
very, very much. Yeah. And you've been
doing Batman sketches. For over 10 years.
Is that true
oh yeah
I
Patton was the
penguin
one of the early ones
which I'm still so grateful
you did
and yes
it's Batman
Batman
so I'm Batman on YouTube
yeah
but you
you love
you love the guy
no I love it
those are all
made from my heart
I didn't love who cares what I didn't love the guy. No, I love it. Those are all made from my heart. I didn't love...
Who cares what I didn't love?
The only mean-spirited ones we did were Dark Knight Rises
because I didn't like Dark Knight Rises.
Okay.
What's your favorite Batman?
I don't know about your taste in general.
Or who's your favorite Batman?
My favorite Batman is Keaton, which is great.
That's why I loved Flash.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it was exciting to see him.
Yes.
One of the things... I got to be in a Batman episode, and I played the Penguin, It was great. That's why I loved Flash. Oh, yeah. Well, it was exciting to see him. Yes.
One of the things, I got to be in a Batman episode, and I played the Penguin, and what I loved about them is, and they're really, really funny, and they're really perfect,
but they also are subconsciously showing, this is what a Nolan Penguin would look like.
This is what a Nolan Riddler would look like.
Even though they're trying to be funny and wacky, and they are, they do follow the Nolan
aesthetics in a way where it almost feels like deleted scenes from the Nolanverse of
that's what he would have made the penguin look like.
Yeah, I agree.
And it's fascinating.
And that's Kat Bardot, our wonderful makeup person.
Oh, my God.
She is great.
She's incredible.
Incredible.
And she did, she gave you these ears.
And the hands. And we made Matt McCarthy the Riddler before they did the Riddler.
And I liked our Riddler more.
He had carved question marks on his face.
Really scary.
But yeah, we're in Brimmer Directs.
Matt McCarthy does those with me.
And they're on my YouTube.
That's so fun.
If anyone wants to check them out.
But I don't want to jump ahead.
But this movie worked a lot for me.
The Flash.
Because I was
watching, I know you guys are probably going to
have an argument.
Oh, I can't wait to yell
at you. I'm going to yell.
I'm going to yell. It worked for you.
You don't need to. This is a microphone. It amplifies
your voice. Yeah, we can turn you up later.
It's tonality.
It's not volume, it's tonality.
Anyway, when I saw, because i didn't know much about this movie
yeah so i kind of went in perfect i'm sure everybody else in the world had seen spoilers
and trailers and all this sort of stuff i just put on a flash movie and now i got blue affleck
batman then i got fucking we got keaton i was equally surprised i didn't know anything i was
so when i googled it though i was finding finding that there were Reddit threads spoiling it before it came out.
Like you're saying, people were all up on it.
I will jump ahead a little bit.
I also haven't watched a superhero movie in a while, and I think that will inform why I loved it so much.
So there's obviously superhero fatigue, but it's been a long time.
I'm a father.
I grew up in the 90s
watching the original Tim Burton Batman.
So I put this movie on needing a break,
needing some alone time,
wanting to watch a superhero movie.
Never saw The Eternals,
never saw The Rings one.
I haven't been keeping up.
So I put one on and I was like,
this is just going to be my opinion
the whole way through.
Everybody needs to shut up up they're just trying to
delight us it's so fun but we're
we're a little spoiled that's my
whole point right up top you just
explained where Marvel and DC went
wrong they did put too much
stuff out they did glut the market so
that it didn't feel special and
what you experienced was what
people experienced when they saw the Robert Downey Jr.
Iron Man.
Oh, oh, and that was a movie that's just out to delight you and be silly.
There's a fun extra thing after the credits.
And then very quickly, someone put this so well.
This how I'll describe it.
They turned into homework.
They turned into. Well, we understand that.
Before you see the Marvels, you've got to watch this show and this show.
And you got to watch this movie or this. And you're like, don't get. And honestly, how understand that. But before you see the Marvels, you've got to watch this show and this show. And you've got to watch this movie or this.
And you're like, don't get.
This is where I go to relax.
I agree.
Having the scene at the end about the next one, I'm like, no, there's another one.
I didn't even watch that.
The movie ended when it ended.
But I, again, to jump around, forgive me, but when we met Supergirl, I don't even know
if we're calling her Supergirl.
I think that's what her name is.
But it wasn't Captain Marvel.
It wasn't some other franchise.
It was just a character in this movie.
And I was like, oh, great.
I didn't feel excluded from it.
Yeah, that's true.
The whole time I was like invited to the party
and I was like, this is great.
And it's definitely supposed to be very silly.
But I'm about to rebut some.
Too silly.
As right as you are,
I will be rebutting some of this shortly,
but we will.
But I'll take it from the point of view
of someone who watches a lot of these movies.
Yeah.
And because they were also trying to court that crowd, because that's what their money is,
to see them with it so badly was kind of stunning, but I'll let you.
No, I didn't watch all these movies, Patton.
Did you watch Madam Web?
No.
No.
That I.
And it was a bunch of us.
You know what?
A bunch of us were going to do that nostalgic thing when we were in our 20s, me and Brian
Hussain and David Cross and that whole crew, we would purposely go see movies that we knew
were going to be bad to enjoy it.
Yeah, it's always fun.
It is fun.
And now that I'm 55 and my daughter's 14 and a bunch of us were going to go on a Monday
and I'm like, I could read a book
or go for a walk.
But I'm telling you, go see it.
I loved it.
You loved Madam Web.
Sure did.
Oh, dear God.
Because if you look at it in a way
that maybe it is a satire on comic book movies,
it's perfect.
I laughed.
I had a great time.
Kind of like how you have to watch Napoleon like a comedy.
That's what everyone kept saying.
I mean, sure.
I haven't seen Napoleon, but if you go in with a ha-ha vibe, maybe you'll ha-ha-ha.
Now I'm intrigued.
Wait a minute.
Do you think that Dakota is in on the joke?
No.
Oh, she's trying to sell this thing.
Yes, but as a whole.
But I feel like they all learned later that it wasn't good.
I haven't seen it, but the way everyone's talking about it publicly, it's useless.
Her press tour got more press than the movie.
Yes.
Right.
The fact that this is a lead actress launching a franchise going, you don't need to go see
it.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is stunning.
She said that?
Oh, every interview she gave, she was like, oh, the script was horrible.
She just was trashing her movie.
She dropped her reps after the movie came out.
Aren't there contractual, like, you're not- I don't know. That's what I find movie. She dropped her reps after the movie came out. Aren't there contractual...
I don't know. That's what I find fascinating.
I find that fascinating.
I think contracts are like, you have to do
the press, or you're expected to do the press,
but you can say whatever you want.
And also, I know that for a lot of...
They will now.
I've only experienced this first... I can say this
because I've experienced it firsthand. When you do a
franchise thing, a DC show or a Marvel show, a lot of the times, and this happened twice to me, in your contract, it is written, you will go to San Diego.
You will do these panels.
That is written into what you're doing.
And now they know a lot of online shows that get a lot of traction.
You will participate in whatever goofy games are doing.
Yeah.
That's how we sell it.
Yeah.
Very interesting.
Can I add one little button to what we're talking about?
Please.
Because I just want to, I'm going to prime you with this thought.
You, again, you're bringing a genuinely unique perspective to this as someone who took a
break.
Yes, I took a break.
And then just enjoyed it.
I think any movie that you're going to like have an opinion about, it's so weird.
We don't see the world as it is.
We see the world as we are.
And that's true for movies.
And we just read some reviewer who goes and watches a movie.
Tell me about your love life.
Did you take a dump that morning?
Had you had coffee?
Are your parents sick?
I'm not trying to be funny.
What's going on in your life?
And in fact, you actually could use
just a little brokenness.
Like, if something bad
happened to you recently,
and you watch a movie... And then you go, I hate this fucking movie.
It's a piece of shit. I think it could go both ways.
It can make you hate it, or
if you're vulnerable and you need healing, you want to
watch someone on screen struggling.
So, where were you? And I want you to watch
it twice, but they can't.
It's like they have to turn it around fast so they can shit on it.
Of course you're shitting on it because it's literally homework for you.
Yes.
And you resent it.
I'm just trying to say you can enjoy any movie if it meets you in the right way.
So it's pretty absurd to kind of go around declaring things good or bad when we're really
just talking about how we're experiencing our own lives.
Sometimes movies will...
I remember I'd gone through
a really, really horrible breakup
and I was flying to New York
after the breakup happened.
This is in the late 90s.
And this is...
Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.
This is back when...
Good.
Before they had streaming...
I don't know if you remember,
the planes would give you
those little portable DVD players
with movies already programmed in.
And you could just pick a movie.
A DVD player?
I don't know.
Was that first class?
Yeah, I don't know that life yet.
I remember the whole plane getting it.
These little flat things they were experimenting with.
And I watched Legally Blonde, and I was in such a vulnerable, raw place that when she ends up winning at the end,
and that song Perfect Day comes on, I almost started torn in love.
I was so torn
and that movie still hits me that way even though
I know it's like, but I was
you're right, I was in the moment that I was ready for it.
Thank you for yes-anding
my premise. When Val and I were falling in love
we're still in love. I don't know why I threw that to you.
But we're still in love.
Okay, okay.
He's still in love. I just mean when we were but we're still in love okay okay yes Lauren he's still in love
it's fine
I just mean when we were
first meeting
and falling in love
we watched the movie
Why Him
Bryan Cranston
and James Franco
it's not a great movie
but we were so in love
that I still
can't help but smile
when I think about
James Franco
being a buffoon
son-in-law
that's what you're seeing
yeah
that's what you're and when Yeah. That's what you're,
and when you're a little broken,
so I actually was just going through a hard time
and I was watching The Flash
and I was like,
he needs to learn a lesson.
I need to learn a lesson.
Yeah.
And some problems can't be solved.
You just have to,
I was fucking in.
Wow.
And I also was like very touched
by how clearly passionate,
I think you can, even if you didn't like it,
which is totally valid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They put a lot of heart into, a lot of,
I don't mean a plot heart.
I mean like making the suit line up.
Oh, oh.
All the gags, all the jokes.
Oh, I was going to say the story with his mom.
Packing in, whoever made this movie,
and I don't know, but like they cared.
We'll tell you. Yeah, we'll tell you yeah and they and they went for it and i was like respect as i'm like trying to
make different things write different scripts i'm like fuck yeah dude you took a four hour break to
think of the best lasso of truth joke and it's 30 seconds of the movie and i know that took you a
full day and fucking bravo oh we definitely respect that about all these things that we watch,
because there's a lot of stuff that we're like, I don't get it.
It's not for me or whatever.
But, like, of course, it takes so many people and so much effort and all that stuff.
Yeah, nobody's setting out to make it bad.
And a lot of times, these directors are operating with a massive boot on their neck.
Not only are they pleasing the script,
they have had to have meetings with merchandising people, toy makers
and it's rough
but sometimes these movies still don't work
and I'm sorry, this didn't work for me but we will get into that
you're like the new Siskel and Ebert
I'm like so into it
I used to have a bit about this where I go, I made fun of a movie on stage
and someone yelled out, you make a movie
which is only happening in LA
that is such an annoying thing to say
I agree
I feel like your style inspired this bit
I never did on a special or anything
but I think you'll hear your influence on me in this bit
I was like that's not how reality works
if I don't like a cake at Burger King
the chef doesn't come out covered in flour
a cake at Burger King?
they make their little Oreo cake
don't fuck with me
but actually I haven't been there in a while
they do have cake now.
And he yells, you make a cake.
He said they make an Oreo cake.
They have like a mousse thing, but that's not really a cake.
It's more of a pie.
I appreciate your fast food expertise.
I love Burger King.
I was just trying to pick a bad cake.
I used to eat Burger King every day after school.
Where you would judge a cake.
Then I found out I was a needy.
I was like, you can't.
I can have an opinion about cake without knowing how to make a cake.
Doesn't that sound like something you would say? Guys, guys, guys, we need to take a break. We have to. Oh, I'm sorry, I can have an opinion about cake without knowing how to make a cake. Doesn't that sound like something you would say?
Guys, guys, guys, we need to take a break.
We have to.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Here we go.
Okay, we'll take a quick break and we'll be back with more about the flesh and everyone's life and what's going on with them.
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The link is in the episode description.
We're back. All right the flash laugh is gonna be on both ends of that cut you think oh they've got us figured out they are
so there's no way to figure that out there's an audio
look at anya's face no it's fine she loved it it's fine. She loved it. It's fine. Don't even worry about it. Do not.
The Flash was released on June 16th, the beginning of summer in 2023.
That was recent.
It was written by Christina Hodgson and directed by Andres Musachetti.
Oh, wow.
I don't approve of that.
That's what it says.
I'm just kidding.
I sounded it out. I'm just kidding. I sounded it out.
I'm just kidding.
I don't say a lot of words.
We want to thank the movie spoiler for helping us put together this.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes.
Okay.
We're going to jump into the plot.
We're going to talk about this in great detail.
And I want to hear everyone's thoughts.
You can interrupt at any time.
So by the way, whoever wrote the summary, this like unraveling Iran Contra.
So thank you.
Exactly.
It's the Lord's work.
Okay.
There's no way we could do this.
It's very confusing.
I'm going to say up top, all of this is wrong.
You're supposed to sit there and go,
his costume lights up with lightning.
He phases through walls.
That's pretty much what I got from the film,
but I know there's more going.
He's not a twin.
He's not a twin.
So that's why we need the summary,
because you're wrong.
I didn't think he was born in the same womb and raised.
I followed the plot.
We'll see.
Yeah, we'll see.
Okay, Barry Allen, Ezra Miller.
You can't eat on a podcast.
What is that, by the way?
There's so many snacks.
Is it good?
You're like Elon Musk eating the pizza.
My God!
Okay, Barry gets a sandwich before work.
I actually was very surprised by the start of this film.
Please chew and have your... Loved the start. The start, I was work. I thought, I actually was very surprised by the start of this film. Please chew and have your...
Loved the start.
The start, I was surprised.
I was surprised.
He's having this sort of like conversation, getting his sandwich, and he's a little like
nervous and whatever.
I hated this.
He gets a call from Alfred, Jeremy Irons, informing him of a mission.
He puts on his flash suit and rushes to stop a hospital from collapsing into a sinkhole.
Now, this scene was so fucking insane.
I feel like it's very important to say that while
we're seeing his character flaw,
he's impatient,
he also feels inferior to Batman.
These are the emotional stakes
of the film.
It's always Batman.
Batman gets the cool job.
I have to go save the hospital
while Batman is shown
being very cool.
That is literally
what's resolved.
That is a good point.
So that's very important.
Thank you.
It's also very fun and novel
to have the guy
making the sandwich slow.
I don't know why I'm being so combative.
No, it's okay.
He's making it really slow
and he goes on this adventure
before the sandwich is done.
I thought that was very cute.
Right off the bat, fun.
I didn't like that the sandwich maker
was pushing on the raisin.
I was like, this is how you make a sandwich.
You're being rude.
Yeah, but he was the fill-in guy.
It wasn't the usual guy.
I know. And you're right. I was watching the scene was the fill-in guy. It wasn't the usual guy. I know.
And you're right.
I was watching the scene.
Can I say, I was in a hospital watching the scene,
getting an iron infusion for my pregnancy,
and I was above the maternity ward
where I gave birth previously,
and this scene is happening.
And I was like,
it's as if the wall is falling off behind me
and all of the babies are falling. It was actually
too real. I was like
I was watching old people with infusions and then there's all
this stuff happening and I was like this is
a really weird place to be watching this. That's why you gotta watch it in a Vision
Pro man.
You get yourself a Vision Pro.
I didn't like the babies falling.
The CGI babies look sick.
No I was so all these babies are falling
out of the window. I actually thought that it's a tricky production choice.
We're having babies, which I thought was a great high stakes way to show this guy do
something fun.
But.
He puts a baby in a microwave.
I thought it was awesome.
Why did he put it in the microwave?
I don't know.
To protect it from the flame.
Well, eventually I understand, but they're falling in the sky.
And then he.
And he saw the flame.
Then he punches through a vending machine and is like.
Because he needs his energy.
And then he, midway through the movie, we like lose that.
He's not hungry anymore.
And I was like, he's eating the whole time.
The clone.
No, he's not.
The spaghetti at Batman's house.
This kid is hungry.
That's the other version, isn't it?
But he doesn't have his powers at that point.
But I feel like he's so hungry saving these nasty little baby trolls.
And then he lines them all up and then everyone lives.
The best part, though,
is the nurse who's like,
That lady's screaming.
I was like,
that's the part I want.
Why didn't I get that?
You would have been great.
I did want to point out, though,
that the babies,
because I thought about it.
I was like,
this is working.
I like it.
The microwave is close to the edge.
It's a little bit offensive,
but it was making me laugh.
But also the babies
are sucking their thumb and they're kind of laughing.
Very important.
If those babies were screaming.
Scarier.
Bad movie.
Wrong choice.
It goes on for a long time.
Too long.
With the babies falling where you're kind of going, I think he is going to save them,
but I'm just like watching them fall and he's doing other shit.
And that's funny, but I'm going, get them.
Get those babies.
You know, that was a little concerned.
But also they look like devil babies.
I didn't like them.
The artist who did them, I don't want to shit on somebody's work, but like, have you seen a baby before?
That's my issue.
You are too funny.
So nearby, Ben Affleck Batman is nearby chasing after a group of criminals who are a possession of a deadly virus.
And they're eventually pulled up from the side of a bridge by Wonder Woman.
Gal Gadot with her lasso. Flash shows
up a bit late, but he's thanked for his work.
Okay, not to be rude, but
did Gal want to be there?
These are all one-week
shoots. They all wanted to be there.
I don't know. The way she
pulls them up, I was like...
Shannon? Michael Shanahan?
Shannon. Michael Shannon? Shanahan Shannon Michael Shannon
he wanted to be there
that was one week
his head in that thing
I've never forgotten this
I went and saw
Batman and Robin
the George Clooney one
a perfect movie
with Blaine Kipach
and there's a scene
where George Clooney
as Bruce Wayne
is dedicating
a new telescope
and he says
and with this
we'll be able
and he's standing
at a rail
he goes and with this we'll be able to, and he's standing at a rail.
He goes, and with this, we'll be able to reach to the stars.
And he just does this on the railing.
And it's that thing, Blaine's like,
it's him going, I don't want to be in this fucking movie.
And that was the energy Gal had in that scene.
I'm just like, what's the line?
I'll just give you one.
I'll give you one.
Here we go.
I'm sorry, but you could just tell she didn't want to be there. I fully
agree. I'm so sorry.
That's the energy she gave off. I know she's supposed to be
strong, but I was like, can't you just have
a little bit of effort pulling these two gentlemen
out? It takes nothing. Or be triumphant
about it. There was just nothing.
But even deliver her line with a little
bit of thing. That's so true. That was great.
Oh, we liked it? I loved it.
The best Lasso of Truth joke was in the first Wonder Woman movie when it's around Chris
Pine and he starts going, oh my God, this plan is horrible.
We're all going to die.
Like, that was great.
Because the truth is coming out.
Because the truth is coming out.
I liked my ego is far too big to say thank you.
I thought that was fantastic.
And then I thought the Flash saying, I've heard of sex, but I've never
had it. I was like, that's two for two.
And they didn't stay there too long. We did a
pretty good lasso truth bit
in my thing, but I was like, they did it very nice.
Yeah. The Flash
as a character
talks about
his dick a lot.
Yeah. And I found that to be a
little disarming.
I was like,
I was surprised.
I also was just surprised right off the bat how comedic this movie is.
Yes.
Because it's really,
it's a very different tone
than like anything we've been,
especially the last few Batmans
that we've been watching.
those were the Christopher Nolan ones.
Which were so serious.
Very gritty and very realistic.
Which we really liked,
but like,
this is just so silly
that I was kind of like,
okay,
but then I'm like,
wait,
it's almost three hours long.
It's almost three hours long.
And the whole movie looked like CGI.
Yeah.
Well,
there's so much,
there's so much fighting and battling for like long extended.
And do you like that?
I loved it.
I don't always love it,
but in general though,
I think,
I think like a fight scene.
Yeah.
I thought it was excellent.
It made me feel like,
again,
I've taken a break. It made me feel like, again, I've taken a break,
it made me feel like a kid again.
It really made me feel like a child.
I'm seeing the Batmobile.
I really feel like I'm representing
what I thought was going to be
your perspective.
I'm sorry,
but I do watch a lot of action movies.
I just watched Kill Buck Soon.
What's The Beekeeper?
An incredible movie with Jason Statham
where he plays an actual beekeeper and a murderer, part of the beekeeper an incredible movie with Jason Statham where he plays an actual beekeeper
and a murderer
part of the beekeepers
and they don't explain it and I didn't need them to
I'm just saying there's action now
that has been taken to new levels
in movies so when I watched the action
this was and I know I'm being a snob
but there's a certain
bar that's been raised
and go jump over it.
And this one's just like computer.
And I know it's still hard to render stuff on CGI.
It's a very hard work, but it just, it's not thrilling because you're like, this was rendered
somewhere.
I always like the practical effects.
I had a moment though to consider, remember when Batman's being dragged?
I forget exactly what's happening, but he's on a rope and it's almost like he's ice skating.
Yeah. Oh,
Affleck at the beginning, when he's being dragged by the car,
you're like, I'm out of this.
Oh, I was in. And then he jumps over the cars
and it looks so cartoony.
And you're like, he's in no danger.
Yeah. There's nothing at stake here.
I'm going to wear both shoes.
Oh boy. Meaning I loved it.
And one of the reasons that I loved it, I was like, how big was this green screen stage?
Because I was like, that was a big camera move and a big stunt.
So I was actually appreciating the effect.
Can I ask a question about The Flash?
I don't know if you know.
But how comical as a character is The Flash in general?
How silly?
In the books, he is very.
He's not silly.
He's quick.
Barry Allen and
Wally West, his successor,
they're the one characters that are like,
hey, do I get health insurance for being in the Justice League?
Hey, I have a job.
I'm not a playboy
billionaire, hint, hint.
He's their Deadpool.
Yeah, well he's also, he's
you if you had superpowers.
Okay, I can run really fast.
I don't know how I pay bills with that.
Right.
You know, without becoming a criminal, and I don't want to become a criminal.
He does steal a lot of hot dogs.
One thing.
He does.
One thing they do, again, they touch on it at the beginning with the guy making the sandwich,
and they never really touch on it again.
And they touch on it a lot in the comics is the Flash is like, you know, like when you're
behind the slow person in the checkout
lane and you're going nuts?
That's every second of my life.
Every second of my life is everything
is going too slow for me. Or as
the writer Alan Moore said, it's a man whose
whole world is a gallery
of statues. That's
all it is. That's how fast he moves.
So of course he's a little nervy
and antsy.
And they don't go back to that.
You don't think that that's his entire personality?
Like, he's too much.
Again, as a person who worries that I'm too much, I'm relating to this guy.
Yeah, but he didn't play it like that, okay, I'm sitting on a lot of anger.
He just played it with all this goofiness. We could get into a whole other thing about the actor, which we don't need to.
I mean, it was hard to separate
the actor from the movie.
There's been so much news. I don't know what happened
with him.
A lot of stuff.
They're non-binary.
Just for our pronounces.
They body
slammed a person at a bar.
They kidnapped a young girl.
They had a family living in their commune.
And then they just decided to open this movie,
let them do one interview, and that was it.
And it was just a little wild.
That's why he said the Justice League doesn't have mental health.
Trust me.
Wasn't that a reshoot, like to kind of put a wink in the movie?
That's what I was told.
I feel
like at that point they were trying to
shy away from everything they were doing.
They didn't, I don't think
the studio wanted to remind
everyone, because it was every
day they were in the news doing something
worse and worse and worse.
And it also fell to that actress
who plays Kara, Supergirl,
who did a fine job for what she was given.
But she had to shoulder the weight of that.
Yeah.
She did all the promo.
Oh, my God.
What about Keaton?
He didn't really promote it that much.
That's really hard.
Because I think he wanted to separate himself from Ezra.
That's a shame.
Yeah, it's tough.
I read a whole article about it while watching.
Same.
Because I didn't really know all the details. And I was like, yikes. Oops, I'm article about it while watching. Same. And I watched it.
Because I didn't really know all the details.
And then I was like, yikes.
Oops, I'm having a hard time.
Me too.
Yeah.
Anyway, back to the summary.
Here we go.
Nearby, Batman, don't be sorry, chooses a group of criminals.
They're in possession of a deadly virus.
We already read that.
Okay.
So Barry rushes to the research center where he finds his co-workers.
Don't get beat.
Don't get beat.
Demo.
Patty and Albert waiting for their boss to chew them out
and then we meet
Iris West who recognizes Barry from college
this I didn't need and then we find out
that his dad is on trial for murdering his mom
I love Ron Livingston
I was really excited it's Burger from Sex and the City
I'll jump in and say
that's what I know him from
in a 4K world it's really tricky
and I don't have a 4K TV, so maybe it was my TV.
His makeup was like, he was wearing orange face.
It was really, it was very done.
Did you notice this?
Was it an aging thing?
I don't know if it was aging.
They de-age him.
I watched this on a TV in a hotel, so I didn't have any problems.
Yeah.
Was it a Hilton?
I'm not sure.
Did you get points?
I know where I stand.
Was it a Hilton?
I'm on three points program, so it must have been a place where I get points.
I need more points in my life.
I want more points, too.
I need someone to give me a whole primer on that, but okay, it's for another day.
Pretty sure any lobby reception will give you that.
They will walk you right through.
If you want to talk to people, just give us the points.
You're going to have to get over it.
So Barry later chats with Henry over the phone about the store's security footage needed to establish Henry's alibi at the time of Nora's death.
Henry's face is not visible.
So Barry fears that the evidence will be admissible.
Barry puts on his flash suit and runs to his childhood home.
He has a flashback to the day his mother died in a very current kitchen. That kitchen
was not a flashback kitchen. I think that it's not that long ago. It's not that long
ago because the character is kind of young, right? It's like 15 years ago. Well, I don't
know if farmhouse sinks were in 15 years ago. Or those pools. Those are very current pools.
It's a double farmhouse. I don't know if you noticed that.
It's a nice thing. And it was
on trend with the blue cabinets.
It was. This was not for me.
It took me right out. Oh, boy.
But the scene
where she's stabbed.
So the little kid finds his mother
stabbed downstairs and then the dad's like, call 911
and then the kid runs outside. I was like, where
are you going? going well because he thought
daddy did it
because daddy's hand
was on that knife
oh he thinks that
at that moment
yes because the knife
I didn't process it that way
he's like holding it
like he did it
and it's like
call 911
and I think that kid
was like
oh no
I think my dad did this
yeah
I thought it was more
just like metaphorically
oh maybe
I thought he was like
panicking
like running
I don't think it's what happened
I think it's his memory.
It's like,
this is the moment
I started running from my life.
Oh, that's really poetic.
I really think this is how
you're supposed to watch the movie.
Because if you go,
why isn't he calling 911?
He could have been running
to a payphone.
I don't know what he's doing.
Oh, I was stuck on that kitchen.
Right?
Really made me upset.
I like the layers
you're giving them.
I think this is the casualty
with which to watch this movie.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I think that's true. We
can't, we are not given that sort
of freedom. It's not your job. We're here to play.
No, but Barry realizes he can run fast enough
to go back at least one day in time, so
he relays that to Bruce, and Barry proposes
he goes further back in time to save both
his mother and Bruce's parents.
And now we have our theme established. Bruce says
we can, our wounds make us who we are.
Then he also invites him out to dinner.
And Bruce says, this comes back maybe another time.
I also love Affleck.
Did Ben Affleck?
I feel like he was doing a different voice.
Yes.
I was confused because I was like in his,
because we watched the Justice League Ultimate Edition.
Everybody loves it.
It's 100 hours long.
And I felt like his voice was very different.
I actually was like, is he doing a bit?
I thought it was like a character.
Because he was doing more of a Christian Bailey thing.
Oh, as Batman?
I don't think he did that that much in the previous.
No, in the previous one I think he had a voice
modifier, like a digital one.
And in this one he's just doing it
all natural.
Interesting.
I'm just going like, he's kind of blue and I love it. He's Miles Davis. And in this one, he's just doing it all natural. Because he was doing it. Interesting. I don't know.
I'm just going like, he's kind of blue and I love it.
He's Miles Davis.
He's kind of blue.
Bruce leaves and Iris meets with Barry about Henry's case.
Barry comes to a conclusion that there's a way to undo Nora's death.
Iris is pointless.
Yeah, no, I know.
And I didn't, there's a lot of like the.
I think she's a great actress.
No, it's not anything against the person.
But it's like the sort of when they...
You need it.
Why?
If that movie ends and he's not going on a date,
you don't have...
He's not fully resolved.
Should have gone out with Supergirl.
They weren't coming.
Because what is...
Look, let's get Freudian,
but what is a wife but like your new...
Not I'm saying...
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
But I'm saying he needs a new...
New mummy.
Yeah, sure.
It's not my theory. Paging Sigmund.
I'm just saying like he needs
Sigmund Freud. He needs a
female. Paging
Sigmund, he comes in, he's like
mommy is white. This isn't my
theory, but I think you would have been
unconsciously dissatisfied if that movie
ends where he doesn't learn how
to talk to the woman that he couldn't talk to
that he wanted to
I don't know
he loses his mom
and then he finds
the love of his life
well so he goes back
to the grocery store
that's why people
go see a Flash movie
he goes to the grocery store
I actually take issue
with the people
have no idea
why they go and see
movies and it is
for stuff like this
you think you want
fast running
but if it doesn't
have stuff like this
I don't think
I want fast running
I actually do want I want the supermarket that was touching enough
it was so touching that's on this whole scene no that's the sad part this scene needs to be
resolved i did i didn't find that to be sad emotional what the mom touching him in the
supermarket and he makes the choice to sacrifice her for the greater good or whatever i thought
that was enough of growth uh that story i
was really surprised by how strong of a storyline that was but i was also happy because i wanted
there to be that depth to the character because it's such a silly you know story but like so he
goes and he goes back in time he plants a can of tomatoes which is what his dad had gone out to get
when the stabbing occurred he puts it into her cart so that that doesn't need to happen.
And whispers for good measure.
Don't forget the tomatoes.
They're in the cart.
You did it.
She'll put them up there.
She ain't gonna forget.
They're there.
But it was so fast.
It was just.
So he goes back and he meets his old self, who is 18 and is just a goofball.
So that wasn't a twin?
No, Pete.
No, alternate version of himself if his parents had never died and he didn't become the Flash?
No, no.
That got confusing.
Back the day he got struck by lightning to become the Flash.
Okay.
Yeah, it starts raining and he goes, it's September 29th.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
That's right.
And then Mega Evil Flash later is like, i pushed you out so you could go there
to but he's like again everything that character does he's like
i'm like why is he like i need my laundry done
i know this is a complicated guy and i'm not weighing in on that scandal i don't know any
oh no we're talking about a character yeah oh i just, I just, I thought, I kept wanting to not like
the performance,
and I was like,
this is working for me.
Oh, no, I agree.
I texted you that,
that I thought
it was a good performance.
Weirdly enough,
his alternate universe
version of himself
was so annoying
that the regular Ezra Miller
became weirdly wise
and calming.
Yes.
By comparison.
Right.
It's the first time
I've seen an actor
create a version of themselves
that makes you like the version of themselves
that normally you wouldn't like.
That's quite a feat.
I will also say, just to throw this in the mix,
you see his impatience here
because 18-year-old Flash Barry
won't listen to the ends of sentences.
That's why he ends up naked in his neighbor's apartment.
I thought the phasing was funny.
But he's very, very impatient.
So you do kind of stuff.
Well, and I liked that whole segment because I tend to like...
I'm like the writer and you're like the studio.
You are def...
Yeah, I know.
You're kind of like...
Can we have more running?
You would have liked this.
Yeah, just more running.
It's a movie called The Flash, but it's three hours long.
Okay.
Whatever.
Okay, fine.
Well, I like body switch movies. It's the fastest man alive. Four and a half hours long. Okay. Whatever. Okay, fine.
It's the fastest man alive. Four and a half
hours of speed. Go ahead.
No, I was going to say, I like body switch movies and I like
time travel. I like that kind of stuff.
So I did enjoy this plot line.
It was, I was thinking
about as an actor, like, wow, this
person has to do so much in this movie
because it's two of this character for the
entire time doing two totally different things.
And that was impressive. Very impressive.
And I think they have
the range. But I will say
they do talk about Back to the Future
in the movie and it's very Back to the Future-y.
Back to the Future gets into it so much
faster. I just wanted
them to get into this faster.
Right. What are the problems that
occur now that you're back?
Yeah. Right. Like, what are the problems that occur now that you're back? Yeah.
Um, okay.
The two Barrys go to the... Yeah.
Go for it. The two Barrys
go to the research center so that Barry
2 can go through the same
freak accident that gave Barry 1 his powers.
Just as Barry 2 begins
panicking, Barry stands in front of him right
when the lightning strikes, hitting both of them.
Barry sees that he's lost his powers while barry too has successfully acquired them
and they return to barry too's apartment where he begins to have reckless fun with his powers
that part's fun yeah it's fun he goes for a run he wreaks havoc and it's sad that he doesn't have
his powers anymore and it's like what do i do and then the the refrigerator situation by the way
and was making me so sad but that's that's real that reminded me of of having children, by the way, was making me so sad, but that's real.
That reminded me of having children, too, by the way.
It's like you give this younger thing your energy.
You're like your life force, and you're happy to do it.
So I related to that.
Oh, that's sweet.
I enjoyed it.
It's like you have it, but you also know he's going to go out and make all these mistakes.
Mistakes, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Well, the next day, just as Barry gives Barry to his suit.
We got to have this guy watch Showgirls and make it a beautiful allegory about empowerment
or something because he's seeing stuff in here that I absolutely didn't see.
Yeah.
I'm not disagreeing with you, but my God.
We're talking.
We're having a conversation about space.
And I had a big
empty room
in my psyche
called
put a movie here
and I put
one movie in there
and I was like
yeah
we're in such a different
just a very different space
way different
also I just watched
Showgirls
and I think it's an
actual masterpiece
oh dear god
I loved
I've never seen it
Lauren we gotta watch it it is incredible newcomer to Showgirls you'll love it I watch it's an actual masterpiece. Oh, dear God. I loved every... I've never seen it. Lauren,
we gotta watch it.
It is incredible.
Newcomer showgirls?
You'll love it.
I watch...
The choices made
are insane.
I went and saw it
at the Sunset Five
when people were trying
to make it into a cult movie
and failing.
There was this weird push
for like a month
like when they would say
brown rice and vegetables
people would throw brown rice
and it was just not catching on.
And it was so, the failed showgirls Rocky Horror attempt.
That's worth an episode.
That's great.
That is very funny.
Anyway.
Well, here's where General Zod comes in.
I love Michael Shannon.
I think he's also hilarious in interviews.
He's always like, there was some interview where they're like,
what do you think happened to your character?
He's like, I don't care.
Yeah.
I go in and I do it.
And the way his head and face is inside that
helmet, I wonder if he was
ever physically on that set.
I truly wonder.
He is a completely
digital face inside of it.
His army of Kryptonians
arrive on Earth, and they find Barry.
And Barry believes he's Superman.
Barry tries to find another Justice League member in this
time, to find the other Justice League members
in this timeline. So then the Barry's go to
Wayne Manor to find Bruce only to see that
it's Michael Keaton!
And he's older! And he's wearing one
flip-flop. And I didn't think it was him at all.
The worst wig I've ever seen.
I was really confused. And a crazy
beard. Yes! And I didn't realize it was
Michael Keaton until way later. Me too. And I was like, oh this is embarrassing. Those crazy beard yes and I didn't realize it was Michael Keaton until way later
me too
and I was like
oh this is embarrassing
those dreamy blues
they didn't
they didn't make that
clear frame
for a long time
and I was
but it was Michael Keaton
I did not get that
yeah
I'm the guy who lives here
you didn't go
it's Michael Keaton
no
I just didn't get that
we had different 90s
our 90s were different
I mean I got the voice
right away
but I was still distracted
by the fact that they
apparently went to a
spirit Halloween store
for a wig and beard
and barely taped it on him
wizard hat
yeah
I was too busy going like
80s Batman
90s Batman
well he is like
my favorite Batman
you know the fan service
they're talking about
in the film
I was the fan
yes you were the fan
which is great
I was serviced
but he's old and alone
cause Alfred be dead I was serviced I'm glad, you were the servant, which is great. I was serviced. But he's old and alone because Alfred would be dead.
I don't know why I threw that to you.
I was serviced.
I'm glad for you.
Bruce tells Barry that he ended up opening other timelines in the multiverse.
Bruce declines to help them locate Superman.
The Barrys sneak into the Batcave and do research on Bruce's computer.
Barry gets annoyed with his younger self's immaturity and can't bring himself to admit
why they went back in the first place because he doesn't want to say, Mommy's dead.
Well, he's also mad at him.
You got Mom and I didn't get mom.
Yes, that day, yeah.
It's that whole, like, you don't even know what you had.
That's, again, why I think it's enough
that he doesn't need a love story
and that he gets to see his mom for the last time.
I'm not saying there isn't lots more,
but I just like the love story as well.
Fair.
Maybe that's the space I'm in because my mom's dead
and I'm like, if I had one last moment with her,
that would be really incredible.
And for me, that would be enough incredible. And I like, for me,
that would be enough,
but also,
but then once you want to go on a date,
don't you have a,
don't you have a podcast called?
Why don't you date me?
I do.
I'm completely kidding.
I was like,
I'm saying like,
maybe I'll have a new podcast called wise.
Mommy dead.
No,
I'm kidding.
Why is mommy dead?
Why is mommy dead? It's brought to you by MailChimp.
So, let's see.
Barry talks to Bruce, convinces him to help,
and then Bruce dons the Batsuit once more and gives Barry a file.
You see, we're skipping over a pretty awesomeia where he opens up the room and there's like
five awesome Batsuits
and that's the one
that we know and love
I thought they were
the same Batsuit
I thought it was all the same
this is such a heartbreak
hotel for me
I feel like I made the movie
and I'm like
you didn't see the five Batsuits
no I did
they were the same
but it was like
he had all this
like a closet full of
I thought those were just spares
because I don't think
the Batsuit changed
between Batman
and Batman Returns.
It changed a lot.
One of them has goggles.
One of them's like an air jump Batman.
Did one of them have nipples?
And one didn't have nipples?
No, that didn't happen until Schumacher showed up.
They're all the classic style.
Those were the Schumacher ones.
I love that one.
Dear God in heaven.
You didn't like Batman Returns?
That's not Batman Returns.
That's Batman and Robin.
Batman and Robin.
No, Batman Forever and Batman and Robin were horrible.
They were...
No, they're insane.
The Bat credit card? The shot of the ass?
Nobody needed that movie.
See, I don't like things.
And I loved The Flash. Which one do I say that to?
All of them.
All of them.
So, okay. So the trio used the Batwing to fly to Siberia Which one do I say that to? All of them. All of them. Say it each time.
So, okay.
So the trio use the Batwing to fly to Siberia and infiltrate the base. They find a chamber which contains not Kal-El, but a young Kryptonian woman, Kara Zor-El.
I was like, come on.
Why can't she be Betty?
Like, why do they have the same name, essentially?
Kal-El, Kara's.
Wait, so everyone.
Krypton's looking at us like Judy and yeah I
think it's almost like
it's all family names and
it's like the family name
comes first and cat the
house of Kal-El or I don't
know it's something like
that well the heroes get
her out of there but
Barry it sounds like I do
I actually do know it's
a different house I love
that you did kind of know
I totally oh my god I totally tried to bail on it halfway through it's the different house. I love that you did kind of know. I totally Oh my God. I totally tried
to bail on it halfway through. It's the different house
so you're the house of Kala. But I don't
really know.
I feel like we hung out in high school
just now. That was really fun.
Damn. I loved it.
So Barry two gets shot in the leg
which was great.
So the guys return Kara back to Wayne Manor
after learning that Zod is on Earth.
She puts on her Supergirl suit.
We are missing some things we could laugh about.
How much Hugh Way was in there.
Why is Wayne always coming up in those movies?
Because in the Batman movies,
when he shoots,
like he said to the ladies.
I know, I'm such a joke about that.
Yeah, I think it's a callback to that.
There's a lot of callbacks to that.
I love that.
But there's one specific callback
that I did not like,
which we'll get to.
You want to get nuts?
Yes. The way he reads that line, because in the which we'll get to. You want to get nuts? Yes.
The way he reads that line, because in the original, he's like, you want to get nuts?
Let's get nuts.
This was like, you want to get nuts?
Let's get nuts.
I don't think he would have felt earned if he did it.
Because he's talking to the Joker in the first one.
I know, but still, like, some kind of that.
What was so brilliant about Michael Keaton was he didn't shy away from the fact that Bruce Wayne is a little crazy.
He is sitting on a lot of psychosis and he's barely keeping it together.
And that scene was great because it's like, oh, I'm just as crazy as this other dude.
Yeah.
I agree.
You want to get nuts?
Let's get nuts.
I think if he had yelled it, I would have been like, why is he yelling it?
Three friends talking in a safe cave.
That's like bringing Stanley Kowalski back for a movie. He's like, hey is he yelling at three friends talking in a safe cave? That's like bringing Stanley
Kowalski back for a movie and he's like,
Stella, Stella. Come over here.
Hey, Stella.
I'm not going to yell.
It could have been funny if he had yelled
and then they're like, what?
They go, oh, he's crazy.
Oh, yeah.
You convinced me. You're right. If they called it out.
They would in this movie, it feels like.
Also, where did Supergirl's outfit come from?
Yeah, she goes and puts it on.
It fits perfectly.
It is perfect.
I agree.
It just shows up in the back.
That's magic.
That's magic.
That was weird.
Even for me, that was a pretty big don't.
Please pay no mind to this.
I thought Sasha Kelly.
Is that her name?
Yeah.
Great.
She was in a different movie, I felt like, than everybody else, though.
But she's so serious.
Real brooding.
Would you say she's from a different planet than everybody else?
Because that sounds like somebody was doing their job well.
She did a great job.
But Superman isn't a brooding...
You know, Kryptonians are hopeful and sunny and...
I liked it. It was like Billie Eilish from Krypton.
It was Krypton's Eilish.
I'm sorry,
Bill E.
from the house of Kal-El.
Bill slash E.
If I was a nerd,
I would have cackled.
Yeah, exactly. That was a very good joke.
There you go.
That was such a good joke.
I really liked it.
I'm Kal-El.
I'm Bill E.
It was good.
No, thank you.
It was a great joke.
Thank you.
Bill.
Well, I'm glad we all liked it it was a great joke thank you Bill well I'm glad
we all had a chance
to get nuts
so the guys
return Kara
back to Wayne Manor
after learning
Zod's on Earth
oh wait
you already read
no
okay so
they gotta recreate
Lightning
like in Back to the Future
also
they keep talking about
Back to the Future
with uh
Eric Stoltz
which I love.
So he was originally...
He was shot for two weeks on the movie.
There's footage of him.
And the reason that they replaced him was he played it really serious and dark and brooding.
And they're like, does he know this is a comedy?
And so they replaced...
The only...
There is one half second of Eric Stoltz in the movie when he punches Biff.
That's his hand.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's interesting.
Oh, wow.
You got insert credit.
Stoltz's hand.
Michael J. Fox, the best.
He's so good in that movie.
So charming.
I love Eric Stoltz, but he was like, they were right to replace him.
Well, it's interesting because I'm really not familiar with him, and I feel like it's because he wasn't in that. My childhood missed Eric Stoltz, but they were right to replace him. Well, it's interesting because I'm really not familiar with him, and I feel like it's because he wasn't in that.
My childhood missed Eric Stoltz.
Oh, no, he's done some great movies.
Yeah.
Like, genuinely great performances.
I wonder if I've seen them.
Like, Mask, like the water dance, like Killing Zoe.
He's great in his scene in Pulp Fiction.
Pulp Fiction's hilarious.
There's several scenes in Pulp Fiction.
Yeah, Some Kind of Wonderful.
I haven't seen Pulp Fiction either.
This is a blind spot. Some Kind of Wonderful is a
great
John Hughes movie where Eric
Stoltz is forced to choose between
the insanely hot Leah Thompson
and the insanely hot Mary Stewart
Masterson, which every high school kid can
relate to. Being in that crossroads.
Some Kind of Wonderful
was like his
apology for Pretty in Pink, where some kind of wonderful was like his it was like his apology
for Pretty in Pink
where she doesn't go with
Ducky
but isn't that crazy that he was in a movie with Lea Michele
or it's not Lea Michele
sorry what's her name?
Lea Thompson who would have been his mom
but she played his love interest
wow that's fun
he kind of plays his love interest
in Back to the Future.
I know, she really wants him.
I know.
Spoiler!
Hey, that's a good movie.
So then they strike him with lightning, and this is pretty intense.
Oh, this was so intense.
Oh my God.
He's like, give me another one!
And Batman's like, oh no, it's not working.
And then Supergirl flies him up to the sky where there's more lightning.
Loved it, and it worked,
and you get the callback of I got you.
From what?
Oh, my God.
Because he saves her.
They're running out, and he's holding her
when she's frailing.
He goes, I got you.
It's very sweet.
And then when she's holding him in the lightning,
she goes, I got you.
Oh, in the same movie, not a callback.
I thought you were referencing a different movie.
No, no, no, but it's mirrored.
I see.
Why is she helping him? Because he helped her. Well, there is that line from the Christopher Reeve movie, which I got you. You got different movie. No, no, no, but it's mirrored. I see. Why is she helping him?
Because he helped her.
Well, there is that line from the Christopher Reeve movie,
which I got you.
You got me.
Who's got you?
Oh.
We haven't seen Superman.
Oh, my God.
I don't want to.
Now, that's a superhero movie.
Oh, the first Superman with Christopher Reeve is fantastic.
Oh.
But I did watch Lois and Clark with the Dean Cain,
who is not in this movie
I wonder why
me too
is he bad
he's a little right leaning
and has some questionable
things to say
but you know everyone's got an opinion
so Kara confronts Zod
blah blah blah
Zod confirms that KL is dead.
And then Supergirl,
she's gonna,
she's gonna fight.
And then everybody fighting.
And then Batman makes a sacrifice,
crashing his jet into Zod's jet,
but then does not manage to destroy it.
So the Barry's run back in time to save their allies.
They get stuck in their speed force because every timeline always results in
Kara and Bruce's death
and Zod destroying Earth.
So Barry becomes more and more angry
until they're met by the evil speedster
that started the mess
who just happens to be a much older Barry
that has not stopped trying to fix everything.
And who's gone insane.
And casting gave up
because young Barry looked like Barry,
Barry looked like Barry,
and then old Barry didn't look like Barry.
Yeah, young Barry was cast really well.
It took me a moment to be like, who is that?
But then I thought that was very mythic,
very archetypal, kind of classic,
like a Greek myth,
and he's been there forever
trying to change the past. I was like,
oh, that's a nice little thing for us to project.
Like when you get obsessed and you can't let go
of something. But why was
old Barry all dusty?
What was all that stuff on him?
I think, well, remember he got the piece of metal in him?
I think that kept happening.
Oh, I see, I see.
Stuff like that kept happening.
The weight of centuries built upon him like rust or barnacles.
Time is in construction.
Time barnacles.
Time barnacles.
This feels like a lot of why they made this movie.
Multiple worlds and timelines begin to collide,
featuring different flashes,
Teddy Sears as Jay Garrick,
and alternate Batman, Adam West.
Wait, who's Teddy Sears and Jay Garrick?
Oh, that's different flashes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alternate Supergirl.
And he's wearing a weird frisbee on his head.
And you get to see Nick Cage.
Well, the first Flash wore a helmet.
I love Nicholas Cage.
Many alternate Superman, George Reeves,. And you get to see Nick Cage. Well, the first Flash wore a helmet. I love Nicolas Cage. Many altered Superman.
George Reeves, Christopher Reeve,
and obviously Nicolas Cage. I didn't know
Nicolas Cage was a Superman. Me neither.
He was supposed to be.
And the suit was leaked. It was Tim Burton.
Tim Burton was making it. John Peters was producing it.
And John Peters' whole thing was
he's got to wear black.
He has to fight a giant spider.
Those were his two notes to Kevin
Smith, who was writing that movie.
And so the giant spider,
the movie never got made. The giant spider ended up in
Wild Wild West, which is the only good thing about that horrible movie.
That weird steampunk
giant spider was brilliant. Will Smith turned down
The Matrix. Turned down The Matrix.
Although I give Will Smith credit.
The reason that
I turned down The Matrix is why The Matrix is successful.
Because it wouldn't have worked with me.
It's Keanu made it work.
It was supposed to be him as Neo
and Val Kilmer as Morpheus.
And he goes,
the fact that I turned it down
and they went with Keanu and Lawrence,
that's what made it.
And he actually understands that,
oh, sometimes you turning down a movie
ends up being a good thing.
Yeah.
Because some problems can't be solved.
Oh.
You have to just walk away.
Okay.
Theme of this movie.
That scene, I'm sorry, but that scene where he goes into the alternate carousel of timelines,
that was the death of the multiverse.
And I'm actually kind of glad it happened.
The multiverse has been done so badly in movies.
Well, what about across the universe, Spider-Man?
Okay, the two Spider-Man movies and Everything Everywhere All at Once are the only movies that have dealt with the idea of a multiverse.
And also a very tiny low-budget movie called Primer really explores here's what happens when you start messing with the timeline.
tiny low-budget movie called Primer really explores,
here's what happens when you start messing with the timeline.
That was, he literally comes out, stands there,
and just looks at stuff, and they look at him,
and then he leaves.
It's literally like that chandelier sketch from SNL.
Look at this one.
Look at this one.
It was the laziest fan service I've ever seen hey you fans
you like the multiverse
there's
Christopher Reeves
there's George Reeves
there's Adam West
oh remember
Nicolas Cage
was gonna make a movie
there's one
there's
the Supergirl movie
whoever that actress was
yeah
Helen Slater
Helen Slater
there they all are
and then
nothing happens
and then he just leaves.
No, it is.
It's such a blip.
Oh, my God.
That it's like.
This fan felt service.
I also didn't like Christopher Reeves in it because he's dead.
And a lot of those people.
This is so questionable, isn't it?
Yeah.
I think it's really gross.
It's kind of like a thing that's happening so much now with AI.
I don't like it.
I think.
And Christopher Reeve
had said things before he
passed about, oh, I hope they don't do some
because they did that commercial with him
walking and I think he
was like, yeah, before he died
and then he was like, yikes
because it was about like the possibilities of
repairing spines and medical science.
Yeah, but if you didn't repair his spine, don't do it.
Exactly.
That's wild.
And then, so then to have him in this movie
where he had said, like,
I'm very uncomfortable with him doing stuff like that.
Yeah.
That's so, that is wrong.
And I don't think they got Helen Slater's permission either,
but unfortunately when you do movies like that back then,
I bet the contracts they signed were like.
Right.
And also, they weren't thinking of this kind of technology.
I mean, there's nothing like that. So it's, yeah,'t thinking of this kind of technology. Well, it didn't exist.
I mean, there's nothing like that.
So it's, yeah,
that's what we all were striking about. Wait, are we about to strike again?
Yeah.
Yeah.
By the way,
I see Helen Slater
like every other day
on the trail that I hike.
She hikes this trail.
And she has turned
into this gorgeous,
gray-haired hippie goddess.
Wow.
Just out on the trails
like, there's Supergirl.
That's Supergirl?
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't mean to say super, but it is Supergirl.
Supergirl is where she and Faye Dunaway fight over
a young hunk, who if I'm not
mistaken is played by
Hart Botchner,
who famously played Ellis in
Die Hard.
The guy, the Hans
boobie.
Oh yeah, I saw that. Yeah, the co-cast. I think, the Hans Booby. Oh yeah.
Yeah, the co-cast.
I think he is a super girl.
It's like the things that come up on my
side of the girl is like, I don't know.
Hans Booby.
I'm your white knight.
God, what a great performance.
It's fun to watch at Christmas.
I watched it on Christmas Eve with my wife
and daughter. My daughter had never seen it.
All my friends have seen Die Hard.
I'm like, let's watch it.
Yeah.
She thought it was great.
It's fun.
It's really fun.
It takes place on Christmas.
Oh, I see.
It's the best 90s unnecessary nudity in any movie.
Oh, they were both last shot there.
More than showgirls?
No, no, no.
Die Hard has the, we got to have a couple bare boobs.
Just put them where we put them.
And it is so, it is, it's like when you look up perfunctory in the dictionary,
there should be a screen grab of that scene.
Like here they are.
They're just clearing rooms and somebody's having sex.
Oh yes,
I remember.
Yeah.
It's just like,
it's the 90s.
I also will say,
even though that movie is great,
Bruce Willis is doing something that to me now seems like really like,
I don't know how to say it.
It's very outdated.
It's like,
he's the good guy and he's like emotionally unavailable all these things
that we value now we're not values yeah he's like I don't know my wife works
yeah I don't know what she does right we're rooting for him yeah although she
wanted the movie I just want to be a cop yeah we're like but you can have a life
too yes that did not age well but you know what aged really really well and
which was really startling when it when you first saw that movie in the 80s?
Was he's the lone guy up against the terrorists.
And he first calls the police.
Then he calls the fire.
He does everything he can to not be involved in the movie.
He resists the call.
Because he's like, they have rocket launchers.
I have one gun.
And up to that point, it had been Stallone and Schwartz.
I will do this myself.
So to see someone actually acting like a real person the way you would act, it actually
upped the stakes.
Yeah.
I love that.
Sorry.
Keep going.
I had to go off about it.
That was the...
No, that's...
We got to see the death of the multiverse in movies.
They did it so badly.
Yeah. It's like, we're done.
Leave it to the Spider-Man people.
Yeah.
Phil Lord.
Leave it to him and his crew.
And that's it.
Sorry.
Yeah, it just felt like it was kind of plopped in there.
But it also felt like it was definitely like a goal of the...
I think you're complaining about a plop of ice cream.
Like dropped into a toilet plop.
You guys are at a children's birthday party going like was this pinata earned
but was it you know what it is
we're all so spoiled I'm as a
parent I'm taking away your Disney Plus I'm
taking away your max six months then you got
one superhero movie that sounds good and you'll
thank me you need a dopamine detox
well no we're gonna have one don't worry
we are next season
yeah yeah it'll be just books
yeah we're just sitting reading and then instead of reading it you show the movie or the book Don't worry. We are next season. Yeah, yeah. It'll be just books.
Yeah, we're just sitting.
Reading.
And then instead of reading it, you show the movie or the book.
But weirdly enough, they do do one cool thing with the multiverse in this movie,
which is they show the effect on a person if they discovered there was a multiverse and that when they discover Batman, Michael Keaton has gone nuts
because he has learned about the multiverse.
He's like, so everything we do is pointless?
There's a million versions and he's just
grown a beard and he's just eating spaghetti
because he's gone crazy.
Which is actually how you would react if you found out
there were multiple versions of you.
And nothing matters.
So why are we doing any of this?
I don't know. I would go visit
different Nichols just to see if I'm married in any multiverse.
That part seems kind of fun.
When Barry...
Or sad.
When Barry meets Barry, I feel like there's almost this uncomfortability that I wanted
there to be just sort of like, great, I know you.
It should be the most comfortable meeting of a person that you've ever had.
You're like, I know you better than anyone.
I don't know.
But that, I would have appreciated maybe a little bit of that.
But okay, so this is the moment we're all waiting for, where he returns to the supermarket to take the tomato can from Nora's cart.
He talks to her before beginning to cry, and she consoles him, and Barry takes the time to admire his mother one last time before making
the switch. He then returns home to
his timeline but not before noticing the security
camera at the store.
Barry shows up late for Henry's trial. His lawyer
brings up new footage that has been enhanced
thanks to Barry moving the cans from the bottom shelf
to the top. This effectively
proves his father's alibi
and his innocence allowing him to go free.
After the trial, Barry gets a call from Bruce
congratulating him as he's pulling up to the courthouse,
and Barry's shocked to see that this is not the same Bruce he knows
because he's now played by George Clooney.
Cut to me.
I did like that.
Like a touchdown.
I'm like, yes!
No, it's fun.
It's fun.
It's fun.
The way things are affected, and now it's this guy.
Because I was like, he did change the past, and then you get it.
Also, shout out to Banana Bees.
I thought that was a good joke.
I also wonder if that was the way for DC Studios to go,
we've got to get rid of Ezra Miller.
Let's trap him in the Joel Schumacher universe.
When they get new flashes, you're like, oh, no.
Ezra's still playing.
They're just trapped in the...
I don't know what to do. That's where they ended up. new flashes, you're like, oh no, Ezra's still playing. They're just trapped in the...
I don't know what to do. That's where they ended up.
What if they had
pulled up and it was your version of
Batman came out?
I'm over here waiting. Wait, which one is that?
And then all the nerds are like, there is it.
There is the YouTube theory.
There is the YouTube theory.
Hello, Ezra.
I called him Ezra. Hello, Ezra. I call them Ezra. Hello, Ezra.
I mean, it cuts to black.
They keep that all in.
They're like, whatever.
We widen and reveal my pants are falling down.
Every part of this was wrong.
I would have loved it.
Well, this movie was a box office bomb.
I'm sorry to tell you.
With projected losses.
Not just a bomb.
Maybe one of the worst in history.
Warner Brothers lost
as much as $200 million.
$200 million.
Damn.
$200 million.
That's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's a lot of money.
That's a whole budget
for a full-length
Batman movie.
A Flash too.
Yeah, yeah.
You could do a lot with that.
And on Rotten Tomatoes,
The Flash holds
an approval rating of 63%,
which is actually pretty high,
I would say,
given the loss. 63%? What's the fan score? Jeez. I don't know. And on Rotten Tomatoes, the Flash holds an approval rating of 63%, which is actually pretty high, I would say, given what it lost.
63%?
What's the fan score?
I don't know.
We don't know.
I guess that's what it is.
You have a research packet and you couldn't get both scores?
I don't know if you guys saw it.
Let's just copy this one and we're done here.
I want to know how the audience feels.
It might be the average of both.
Is the popcorn spilled?
Dunno.
I don't know if you guys watched Godzilla Minus One last year, which was fantastic
and emotional, and it cost
$14 million to make it.
Wow. I really do want you...
Amazing. Will you...
Maybe you do it for your fans or something. Will you please email me
your movies?
I'd love to watch everything you loved.
Sure. Oh, you mean like from last year?
Just as a friend. If you would just tell me
because anything like that, I'm about it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This movie, last year, this is like the opposite of The Flash,
where The Flash, they could not have promoted it harder.
It was literally everywhere, every banner above every website,
Flash, Flash, Flash.
Godzilla Minus One was made by Toho just for Japanese audiences.
They released it for a week here, a week, like this perfunctory,
here it is, and it was so, got such rave reviews and all the screenings got so packed.
They'd end up holding it over.
Then they re-released it in black and white because the director was like, I wanted to make it in black and white.
It's set in the late 50s in Japan.
And then that – so like quality will always get out.
Yeah.
And you cannot force something bad on people.
Yeah.
I'd like to say for the record that we've moved away from the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes because it's notoriously.
Oh, yeah, don't feel attacked.
Well.
Well, no, you're right because there's a lot of people that they will troll.
They'll flood things.
Yeah.
It's not reliable.
It's not good.
Exactly.
Okay, cool.
That's good to know.
I didn't want you to think I was shouting you out.
I mean, it is what you did.
In another more literal way, that is what I was doing.
What drives me crazy about this movie is there was so much potential for it to be great.
All of the pieces were there and they just, it was, I don't blame the director.
I don't blame the writer.
I feel like they could not have had more boots on their neck.
DC was freaking out.
All their movies were failing.
This is the one that's going to save them.
And oh my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Spicy chicken.
Well, here's some trivia.
Michael Keaton's original Batman suit was infamously restrictive, forcing him to move his entire body to look around.
Couldn't turn his neck.
Uh-huh.
And for this movie, the costume designers created a more flexible suit that allowed for a greater range of motion.
I know it wasn't him, but I was loving the way he was moving.
Well, when Keaton tried it on, he insisted it be made stiffer.
I love that.
That's fun to be like, let me help.
It helps my performance.
And that's how he does it.
I have a trivia.
What?
Nicolas Cage was told that when they captured his face, he was watching Krypton be destroyed.
So he was like, I did it all emotional.
And then like in the movie, he's fighting a spider.
So at the movie, he was like, what?
Like he was very confused.
That's so weird.
That's not what I did.
They didn't know where it was going.
They're like, just pretend something big.
You know what's really weird?
There's a movie called Teen Titans Go to the Movies.
It's animated based on the Teen Titans show that's on Cartoon Network.
And that where Nicolas Cage voices Superman in that.
And that is also a great piss take on the multiverse and on all that stuff.
But it's almost like Deadpool for kids.
It's a total kids movie.
It's so smart, especially making fun of superhero movies where the whole movie is about how why doesn't
Robin have his own movie and they're and they're at all these premieres of like finally and there's
a movie just about the utility belt there's a movie just about Alfred he's like how is there
not how do I not have a movie and he's trying to figure it out but it again missed opportunities
where a children's animated
movie ran better with the jokes
I remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt was
teased as Robin
and then they were just like
no yeah
I'm never doing Robin
Tom Cruise was one of the
first people to see this film having been sent
a copy of it months before its theatrical release.
He loved it so much, he called director Andy Muschietti to congratulate him.
So you can call Tom.
Me and Cruise, baby.
Me and Cruise.
I was just, I had to check myself before I wrecked myself yesterday
with another parent in town.
I was getting very emotional how he could not like the Mission Impossible movies.
And I was like, and he was like, they're garbage. And I was like,
biting my tongue.
Those Mission Impossible
movies, however you feel about
Tom Cruise, that dude is
showing, he is the last
thing we have to a Buster Keaton or a
Jackie Chan where it's like, he's
almost dying, not for one
stunt, a bunch of them.
There's a car chase in the new Mission Impossible
that puts that chase at the beginning of this movie
with all the CGI and the surfing on the ground
where there are real stakes, there's real physics, real gravity.
I know, I know.
How does he do that?
Oh, God, they almost, you know.
I agree.
T. Cruise is a, I mean, the whole movie,
he's saying to Matt Damon and Keanu, like, do that.
Yeah, here we go.
And that's good for everybody.
Yes.
It's like Tarantino makes P.T. Anderson better.
P.T. Anderson makes Wes Anderson better.
Beach Boys made the Beatles better.
You need to keep hitting against each other.
Cruz is, he's like growth hormone for queer TV.
Yeah, but like the work that goes into that stuff, and again, it's mostly practical effects.
Yeah, I agree.
I love practical.
You can do practical in superhero movies.
There's a way to do it.
James Cameron, very famously, when he was going to do Spider-Man, he never did it.
He wanted to use Cirque du Soleil people.
Oh, wow.
They were swinging because he wanted it to look real and make the physics real.
I would see James Cameron's
Spider-Man because I love
Avatar.
Do you?
Avatar is all practical. There's no
CGI.
That is all they could
in life. They went to that planet
and shot that stuff.
That tree was real. Avatar 2?
He shot that whole thing on his phone.
He just went out there Okay guys go
And they just shot it
Act like I'm not here
It was amazing
Well okay
We need to take a quick break
We'll be back with a little more
About The Flash and Batman
When we return
We're back
Holy Batman Batman
All season long
We've rated each Batman We're back. Holy Batman, Batman. All season long.
We've rated each Batman on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale.
We've had people use a QR code and rate Batman on the scale.
Wow.
We now see all these Batmans and we have the answer for who are the best Batman. Yeah, and the categories were preparedness, detective ability, voice gravelliness, sadness,
hotness slash horniness.
And that can be interpreted as if you're horny or if they're horny.
It's however you see it. Yeah, it's for you.
You are literally adding, you're bringing a wine taster's viewpoint to Batman.
I love it.
Is mouthfeel on there?
I think it goes under horniness.
There you go.
Nice. Our amazing
producers Anya and Allie have crunched the numbers,
figured out some averages, and we are
so excited to share the season's
final results on the most Batman, Batman
to ever Batman.
So coming in last is George Clooney
with a 47.2% for Batman
and Robin. And that's not your fault, George. You were
trapped in a horrible movie.
Yeah.
Even if he had literally delivered a friggin' Brando and streetcar performance,
it still would be at the bottom of the list.
It has nothing to do with you, George.
It was the one casino you couldn't break out of.
I'm sorry, George.
I don't know why I'm doing kind of a Trump.
That was a little weird.
Sorry, it's a little weird.
You're in the casino.
You can't break out of Trump Casino.
Our security's too good.
Brad Pitt would catch you.
Casey Affleck, you're going down.
We'll get you in the other funny one.
What's his name?
Is that Steve Zahn?
I don't know who Steve Zahn is.
Bernie Mac?
I'm being waved down.
It's Bernie Mac.
He's waved down.
I'm being waved down.
It was Bernard Mac.
Love Bernard Mac.
Great and bad ant. Bad anta? Bad ant man. Bad anta? I mean way down. I mean way down. It was Bernard Mack. Love Bernard Mack great in Bad Ant-
Bad Ant-a?
Bad Ant-man.
Bad Ant-a?
Paul Rudd is a mall center.
Ben Affleck scores 52% in Batman vs. Superman.
Ben Affleck is above Clooney?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes, above.
Okay.
I can't believe Affleck's kind of-
Adam West's Batman from 1969 has a 52.32%.
Michael Keaton's 61.5%.
Christian Bale scored a 63.8 for The Dark Knight Rises.
Will Arnett's score is 71% in Lego Batman.
So Lego Batman's on the list, but not my Batman?
You just came here to insult me?
Oh, let's include Arnett.
Thank you for wearing the shirt.
Is the Lego Batman video game actor on this list?
He might be.
Scratch it.
Kevin Conroy got 75.8% in The Mask of the Phantasm.
Who did?
Kevin Conroy, the voice in The Mask of the Phantasm.
Well, I mean, that's the voice template.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what we understand.
Wait, that's animated series voice?
Yeah, but Kevin Conroy, God, that voice.
Yeah.
Val Kilmer scored 76% in Batman Forever.
Wait.
Val Kilmer is that high?
He's very hot.
He's hot.
He's hot.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess.
Hotness, horniness.
You have to factor these things in.
So he won on the swimsuit.
Yeah, exactly.
Michael Keaton scored a 78.2 in 1989's Batman.
Christian Bale, 81.2% for The Dark Knight.
Robert Pattinson scores an 89.1% in The Batman.
Christian Bale is this season's highest scoring Batman with a 98% average for Batman Begins.
And we love that one.
We loved Batman Begins.
This does make sense.
I feel really happy with this winner.
Yay.
I feel like Dark Knight Bale is hotter than Batman Begins.
Nope.
No.
We loved Batman Begins more than Dark Knight.
Not the movie, just how he looks in it.
No, his performance.
His brooding Batman.
Very brooding.
Christian Bale, we want to congratulate you specifically for your amazing performance
in 2005's Batman Begins.
Yes, Christian Bale!
I do.
I'll give Robert Pattinson credit, though.
He leaned the hardest into Batman,
the psychotic Travis Bickle.
Like, even when he's not Batman.
Can I get that reference?
Yeah.
But even like...
I wouldn't have weeks ago.
Oh, really?
Oh, you now get it.
I now get it.
But he also, like, even when he's Bruce Wayne,
it's like, hey, something's wrong with that dude.
I agree.
I watched that the first time and I really didn't like it.
And then I had to, again, I was like, I'm watching myself.
I wanted something different.
Then I watched it again and I was like, oh, I was wrong.
This is why I think you should have to watch him twice before you review him.
I like that.
Well, we have a fun little announcement for our listeners.
You can pre-order an exclusive Holy Batman Batman t-shirt with all of our rankings.
And you can buy it in a bundle with a ticket or purchase separately,
but it will be on sale through the VOD period of the live stream.
So if you want to get it with your ticket, you can get that or you can get it separately.
Get your tickets to the live stream.
Get your tees at moment.co slash newcomers.
It's going to be so fun.
It's going to be so fun.
And this is a Taryn Killam segment.
How did the score score?
I'm going to give it...
Wait, do we give a...
I think we'll just have an opinion on the score.
The score was by Benjamin Wallfish.
I didn't think about the music.
Wallfish?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, Benjamin Wallfish.
That sounds like an alias.
That's an alias.
My name?
Benjamin Wallfish. Yeah, That's what you give to a
homicide cop when he comes to the
Benjamin Wallfish.
And then the rookie cop tells the lead detective
he's like, well, Benjamin Wallfish.
Who? That was him!
Get him! You thought his name
was Wallfish? He looked at the wall,
he looked at the fish. Wallfish.
By the way, Taron Killam, a great comic book writer with a comic out called The Illegitimates
that is one of those brilliant concepts.
Really?
I didn't know that.
It's a James Bond type.
All of his bastard kids that he's sired with all of the hot Bond women have grown up and
are forming a team.
Wow.
And it's brilliant.
It's so well written.
We did a sketch on my show where I was James Bond
we shot for shot
it doesn't matter which one but it was
Daniel Craig
anyway they're about to have sex in the shower and she goes where's the condom
because every time I watch those movies I'm like
we're just going out there raw dog
everybody
he's got like
the girl that he had with the girl
from Live and let die and
then clearly but not the same people by name but it's clearly all those and it's it's so good that's
a great idea wow anyway sorry go ahead it's okay no i've yeah i feel like this score washed over
us as we were watching didn't notice a single song the comedy and all the things yeah like did
he have a running song? I don't know.
Is this Walfish?
No, for The Flash.
For The Flash.
Oh.
I did notice Wonder Woman. We're talking about The Flash's score, but yeah.
Well, they used the Wonder Woman leitmotif, right?
They used her little...
Yeah, that's like the theme song.
And they played the Batman, and then they played the old Danny Elfman thing.
Oh, I didn't even notice that.
The only thing I noticed was Wonder Woman.
Yeah, I did notice that.
Because that one sounds like a Listerine commercial.
Wait a minute.
Were there any nods to the John Williams 1978 score?
For Superman or Supergirl?
It feels like there had to be.
I don't think so.
Yeah, probably not.
That might be too expensive.
Yeah, you're right.
Very hard to hum the Super...
Let's see if you can do it.
Can you hum...
Don't do it yet.
The theme, John Williams from Superman,
and then the theme from Star Wars.
In either order.
Ooh, that's a hard test.
This is Superman.
Okay, Star Wars.
Very good.
You know, I find it's harder to go from Star Wars to Superman.
Had no full respect.
That's not easy.
If you want to find, well, go watch the movie King's Row sometime and listen to the opening
theme during the credits and go, oh, that's where that came from.
Really?
1950s movie called King's Row.
If you listen to it after the show, call it up on YouTube and watch it.
You'll go, oh, my Lord.
I like finding fights like that.
Someone's got a lawsuit.
It's a copy-paste.
Or is it a sample?
Oh, no.
No, no.
Not a sample.
There was a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in the 90s that went like this.
New now, wow, Chuck E. Cheese is, have you heard?
Which is do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Oh, my God.
It was really fun.
Wow.
New now, wow, Chuck E. Cheese is, have you heard?
I like to mash them.
The sky was gold and blah, blah, blah.
Oh, my God.
One's about meth, though.
One's about meth.
A 90s dance song that samples the theme song to Green Acres.
Is that a TV show?
Uh-huh.
Well, there's a woman who sings.
Wait a minute.
No, no.
I just saw.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
That's right.
I just saw a YouTube clip about this.
He said we took the.
Wait a minute.
It's her when she goes.
But it's a little thing. the, um, um, wait a minute. It's her when she goes, ba-na- song I know and it's from the Green Acres
that's amazing
that's really funny
I love that
friends having fun
oh my god
well it's time for
our segment called
Five Kapows
where we review the film
so we will
we read reviews
from Letterboxd
and we also will
each give our
one sentence review
ourselves
of the film
and a star rating
so if you don't know
Letterboxd is a social platform where people can write
reviews of films. We are on there
at Newcomers if you want to see all of our reviews
of all the movies we watch.
This comes from JSam's993.
Two stars. Watched on a cruise.
Everyone seemed to like it.
That's the review of The Flash.
And this other one, two stars.
He throws all of his other members of the cruise
under the bus because he gives it
two stars
he goes
they seem to like it
yeah
these fucking idiots
that is everything
that I just
I have such an issue
with that
it's like two stars
everyone seemed to like it
because what is the
two stars
is like don't you
dare embarrass me
have some courage
say I liked it too
five stars
you need to go find
jsams993
and let them know
I'll say
I love you, J.
Your opinion is worthy.
Four stars from Sim Run. Hot take,
but Ezra Miller flash was good, and I enjoyed
the characterization. So there you go.
And I wasn't on a cruise.
Does anyone want to give their one sentence review or star
rating of the film? Anyone want to begin?
Yes. Can I give mine?
Yes, please. One star.
Goes nowhere fast. Three words. That's it. Hang on. Can I give mine? Yes, please. One star goes nowhere fast.
Wow.
Three words.
That's it.
Hang on.
Can I say that in a Truman Capote voice?
Yes.
One star goes nowhere fast.
You scooped me on a speed pun because I'm going to say five stars, two and a half hours went by quickly.
Oh, wow.
That's not reviewing. That's talking. five stars, two and a half hours went by quickly.
That's not reviewing,
that's talking.
No one,
you don't see the world as it is, you see the world as you are, including this movie. That's my review.
Lauren.
I'm going to say,
I'm going to give it two stars.
Did you see it on the cruise?
I did, and everyone seemed to like it.
Two stars, I liked the personal storylines more than the superhero storylines but overall good performances throughout
yeah okay it's like a three-star review it really does you know the stars i struggle with stars
i really do because i go well if I give this this many stars, then that
doesn't mean that. So it's like, I try
to keep it, you know. See, if I thought, if I
was hosting this show, I would give it four stars.
Because I would want somewhere to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly. See, I need to balance out.
Because I've said things are bad, but I'm like,
would I rather watch it late?
Yeah, you are a guest.
That is a five star review that
you've given it the entire time.
I think in a bubble, five stars.
That's right.
If I had to come back and then we watch Dark Knight and I'm like, five stars, you mean,
so it's as good as Flash?
I'd be like, oopsies.
But you would say it's for a different reason.
I'm going to give it three stars, I think.
I did like the mom storyline.
Ezra Miller did an incredible thing where I really
didn't like them at the beginning but by
the end they kind of won me over.
But also, Ezra,
stop body slamming women in bars.
It was a lady too?
And stop kidnapping underage
kids. Yeah, and don't have a whole commune.
You gotta, hey, stop being a
rascal. A rascal a rascal
that's quite a way
to put it
so we also
remember that rascal
Charles Manson
that guy was a sketch
he's silly
he was a panic
he was a panic
what was he up to
so we also love to get
read reviews
sorry
wait a minute
a rascal
okay
go ahead no I was gonna say we also love to read reviews of our own Wait a minute. Oh, Roscoe. Okay. Go ahead.
No, I was going to say
we also love to read reviews
of our own program.
Oh.
Michelly1992 gave us
five stars and said,
I have chronic migraines
and haven't been able
to watch TV or movies
for years without
getting a headache
and the only thing
that brings me joy
is Nicole and Lauren
giggling about Hobbits.
Am I okay?
Debatable.
Do I love newcomers?
Absolutely.
She is more than okay.
This is the way to watch movies is to hear us talk about them.
Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.
We pick one to read on the next episode.
And we also ask that you rate us on Spotify.
It's just easy.
Go click five stars.
Go about your day.
Or by these standards, if you really liked it, give it two stars.
Wow.
Yeah, if you're on a cruise, you want to.
Even though you liked the characters
and it worked
and the actor
won you over at the end.
You know what?
Make it three.
Two, three stars.
Make it three.
Two, three stars.
CGI.
Make it three.
It was too cartoony.
Make it three.
I'm editing my review now.
And add to mine,
too cartoony.
Didn't like CGI.
Well, you guys,
you're the best.
Thank you so much
for being here.
This was a blast.
This is my second
appearance
yes
please bring me
back on it
when you tackle
some other
franchise
we would love to
recommend
I mean have you
ever
have you guys
especially
especially
with 2024 goggles on
have you watched
the James Bond
movies in order
no we've never
no this has come up
but we're not sure
that would be fascinating.
It's probably coming for us.
Yeah, it makes me so sad to think about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a big undertaking.
I mean, yes, we'll have you back for sure,
and maybe it'll be James Bond,
but we got something in our pipeline right now
that I'm really excited about.
All right, don't spoil it.
What do you guys want to plug?
Don't get out of here.
You got to plug.
I thought we were done.
Sorry.
Plug.
Plug. Well, you can want to plug? Don't get out of here. You got to plug. I thought we were done. Plug.
Well, you can go to your movie theater and see Ghostbusters Frozen Empire, which I appear in.
And later in the year, well, next month, volume two of Minor Threats, my comic book, comes
out from Dark Horse.
That's awesome.
That'll be early April.
That's fun.
And it's still showing right now on Apple TV
is the series Manhunt,
in which I play Detective Lafayette Baker
with the biggest, bushiest, most glorious beard
you've ever seen.
Ooh, I love it.
Is it natural or was it glued?
Oh, it was so glued on.
When you see this thing, you're like,
Hope you don't have Keaton's guy.
Yeah, that's it.
Hope you don't have Keaton's guy, Patton,'s it. Hope you don't have Keaton's guy, Patton.
I'll tell you.
We used up so much spirit gum,
they had to use that beard for his.
I think you got all the good beard stuff.
That's great.
Real quick, I just want to say,
watch my special, please.
It's on Netflix.
It's called I Am Not For Everybody.
And please listen to my podcast.
Maybe start with Lauren and Paul or Patton.
So are you saying everybody should watch
I Am Not For Everybody?
Yeah, everybody should watch
I Am Not For Everybody.
A paradox.
Because we need to find who exactly it is not for.
We need the data.
That's my audience score.
Okay, great.
We'll go watch all those things.
We did it.
We'll be back next week with our last episode of the season.
Newcomers Presents Improvised Batman, our Leifstein finale.
Our live stream finale.
Oh, wow. It's going to go better than that
we're thriving
that's the name
LevStriper checks into hotels in for privacy
I'm live stream finale
get your tickets now
it's going to be great, Bobby Moynihan, Taryn Killam
and us improvising Batman
that's going to be amazing
the four of you improvising
I literally don't know what will happen I'm just, that's going to be amazing. You, the four of you improvising. I literally don't know what will happen.
Me either.
I'm really excited.
Yeah, it's going to be really fun.
So we'll see you there.
Thanks so much, you guys.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Newcomers is a production of HeadGum Studios.
Our producer is Ali Khan.
Our executive producer is Anya Khanofskaya.
The show is edited, mixed, and mastered by Faris Manji,
who also composed our theme song.
Follow us on Letterboxd, at Newcomers,
and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.
We might just read it on the next show.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bye!
That was a Hiddem Original.