Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Hunt for Gollum (w/ Eva Anderson)
Episode Date: November 10, 2020Now that they're out of the woods of the challenging and bizarre Lord of the Rings animation trilogy, Lauren and Nicole suddenly find themselves... in more woods. Fan-made woods, that is! Joi...ned by writer Eva Anderson (Comedy Bang! Bang!, You're The Worst), the three take a detour into the popular 2009 Lord of the Rings fan film, The Hunt for Gollum.Eva holds nothing back as she tells the tale of her break in at a magical, now defunct place known as Hobbiton, USA, and even reveals a certain precious someone she has tattooed on her. The three ponder what film and TV universes they would make their own fan films about, Nicole dishes out a hot take comparing fan-made Arwen with the Peter Jackson version, and Lauren just wants to get to the bottom of who is in the bag when Gollum is captured and wriggling around in it. "Internet, tell us who's in that bag!"Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.Sources for this episode:Watch The Hunt For Gollum hereSean Connery could have been GandalfArticle about Hobbiton, USAWitness the Gollum diorama in HobbitonTrivia from IMDbTrivia from Fandom.comTrivia from WikipediaAdvertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
These lands will not be safe much longer.
The Men of Dale speak of strange folk passing out of the East.
The Iron Hills are troubled and the Elves are closing the borders of their lands.
Orcs have returned to Moria.
Soon they will be even this side of the mountains.
The servants of the enemy multiply as his strength increases.
Alas, there are now so few of Arkin.
Our secret is no longer safe.
Tell me, what is this creature you seek?
I will find him.
The road will not be easy, but you have the foresight of your people.
If you can't find him, no one can.
Precious. Precious.
We will find the precious. oh boy this is our second season and we're working our way through Lord of the Rings.
Oh boy, and this is the first time we're watching it with the help of nerds, super fans, and sometimes people who've contributed to this series.
So we've watched both of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies.
We've endured the Tolkien biopic, which I don't recommend to anybody.
We finished the animation trilogy,
which was the same thing as the live-action
trilogy, just goofier.
And we'll be revisiting
more fanfics, spin-offs, video games, and more
in the weeks to come.
And this week we are discussing
The Hunt for Gollum, which is a
fan film from 2009.
And, oh, I should say I'm Lauren Lapkus
and that's Nicole Byer.
I don't know.
I'm sure you know that by now if you're listening to this.
But this fan film is available to watch for free
on Independent Online Cinema's YouTube channel.
And we'll leave a link in the show notes
to take you to the exact version we watched
as there are a few versions floating around out there.
So obviously spoilers for all the aforementioned films around out there. So obviously, spoilers for all
the aforementioned films are fair game. So go watch those first if you want to avoid spoilers,
but also they were made 20 years ago or more and you suck if you're being that picky about it.
But yeah, we watched the 1980 animated film Return of the King last week, which,
you know, I'm really I'm glad that's done, I guess, is my take on that.
It's nice to be done.
By the way, I did see some hot takes on Twitter about what we should do next.
And somebody suggested and again, I'm going to say it wrong.
Studio Ghibli or Studio Ghibli.
I don't remember how it's pronounced.
Ghibli.
OK, Mike says that series of films.
And I'm interested in that. I think we might actually like those. I have no idea what Studio Ghibli okay Mike says uh though that series of films and I'm interested in that I think we might
actually like those I have no idea what Studio Ghibli is okay I don't really either but I sort
of do it's um it's a Japanese animated film company and they did a My Neighbor Totoro you
know that I feel like you probably have seen that if you saw that or Spirited Away I mean I've never
seen Spirited Away okay so that's that same there There's a whole bunch of those types of movies. And I think that could
be fun. I've never seen Spirited Away and I feel like we might like those.
I did like Spirited Away. My sister says we should do. My sister opened up by going,
I have not listened to a single episode of this podcast. I understand the premise.
You should watch The Last Airbender and then proceeded to drone on and on and on and on
about how I would love it.
But I was like, I don't think I'm going to like this, Catherine.
No, and I do feel like that fits into the same category
as Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.
And also, we also were informed today
that that Life Day movie, that Lego Life Day movie
is coming out in November online.
And I do feel like we have to talk about it.
Like, I feel like we like Life Day.
We did.
We liked Life Day.
I loved the holiday special.
I might watch it again for a third time this year.
I honestly think I am going to watch it this year because, you know, there's like nothing
to look forward to and it's something to do.
But let's get into this episode.
We are very excited about our guest today, Eva Anderson.
And Eva is a producer and writer known for Briarpatch, You Are the Worst.
She's also written for the Onion News Network and the comedy Bang Bang TV show on IFC.
And she's done so much more.
And we love Eva.
Hi, Eva.
Hey, guys.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Oh, my God.
How are you?
I'm so psyched to be here.
This is my dream. We are you? I'm so psyched to be here. This is my dream.
We are so happy to have you.
And we really can't wait to get into the hunt for Gollum, which I, now, did you know about
this?
Had you seen this?
I did not know about this.
I, I'm like vaguely aware, I feel like of, um, just like general, like fan films.
I feel like I found out about fan films and fan fiction kind of all at once
and was really confused by it. Like when I was like 22 or 23 years old. And I know like a little
bit, I know there's like really hardcore, like Star Wars fan films, but I had no idea there
were Lord of the Rings fan films. I had never heard of a fan film until this. I don't think.
Same. I thought there was just like literature i
didn't know that people went on their own and made films of like their own accord like imagine
making a movie that you can never actually put out like properly but takes all the work of actually
doing yeah right that's all crazy i just remember like 10 15 years ago i was at comic-con and like the
line to scream the winning star wars fan films like went all the way down this hallway and it
was just like the longest line i saw at comic-con it was just people waiting to see like what won
best star wars fan film that year oh wow so it's like a big thing at comic-con yeah i think it's
there's a whole culture around it but then you can can't, you can like upload it to YouTube,
but then you have to have a ton.
There were so many disclaimers on this.
It was like, we have nothing to do with Lord of the Rings,
nothing to do with Tolkien.
We did this out of love.
We made no money on this.
Please don't sue us.
Like the music is all original.
Like every single thing they had to put.
Because I think the credits were like 10 minutes long.
Did you guys see how much it cost to make it oh no oh no
but i'm sure we have that here it cost four thousand dollars what i made that movie for four
i'm very impressed by that i'm impressed too but that's like a good chunk of money to make a film
but that's cheap for all the special effects it is i feel like it was all crowdsourced he like
crowdsourced the entire movie. He had like 160.
And this is just me researching after watching it this like last night.
I've never heard of this before.
It wasn't like I was like, guys, we got to do this.
Yeah.
He had 160 volunteers on it doing like all the special effects, all the makeup acting, like giving him like costumes and stuff.
And he just did it all for free because he worked on
star wars fan films before that so he learned the way that like the system works where everyone just
like and it sounds like kind of like sketch comedy a little bit like you're just like we're like does
anybody have like a taco costume i don't do a taco sketch i drove around with so many wacky wigs in
my trunk for so long.
Same.
And just on Halloween, I was like, I think I should put on a costume.
And I had one in like two seconds.
I was like, that's sad.
I was like, okay, I got wigs.
I got a mask.
Let's go.
Okay.
Well, how did you become a Lord of the Rings fan in the first place?
And how big of a fan are you?
Where do you put yourself on it? Okay i'm gonna mention something i don't know that
i'm sorry i'm not totally caught up but has this come up on the podcast the 1981 radio show no no
it hasn't oh guys i'm so sorry i guess that's gonna be next it's 13 hours long no no oh i truly almost just burst into tears we cannot i'm just saying
it now we can't i know i'm so i don't think you guys should do it i think it would kill you
but my dad like would record them off of the off of pbs and he had this like big book of like
tapes when i was a kid,
and I would just listen to them.
One interesting thing about it, it was recorded in 1981.
It had all the best kind of British actors at the time in it.
And interestingly, Ian Holm, who plays Bilbo in the movies,
is Frodo in the radio show.
Oh.
You get to hear early, young, freshan holm being like a very vulnerable frodo so i
listened to those like constantly when i was a kid i really really liked them um i did watch the
rankin and bass cartoons a little bit but i agree that they're very creepy and the music is very bad
yeah yeah it's so it's also like exactly the same no matter what the song is. It's all just like we are watching him go outside.
I'm like, OK, make it stop.
So I was really into this radio show.
Then I was happy when the movies came out.
I worked on I worked on actually the Academy Awards.
The year Return of the king won best picture i was the writer's assistant for the billy crystal opening film where he dressed
as gollum and was naked and he was like naked for like a third of it in gollum makeup like
creeping around on set in like a loincloth and i was like on set for that so that was weird must have been very weird sounds like a fever dream and then another weird thing just
about my like experience with lord of the rings um i think i told you about this a little bit
lauren but when i was like before that so between listening to the radio show and the and between when then and
when the first movie came out pre first movie coming out i um was like driving through northern
california with my little brother and my boyfriend at the time and um like a family friend and we
went to this place called the avenue of the giants which is this two-lane road through the redwoods where every stop has like a crazy like a local attraction and there was this thing called um
hobbiton usa which was in the 70s when hop the hobbit had its first surge these people
like built a hobbit like walk through an adventure in the middle of the redwoods that was all cement and
all like super super creepy and it was closed when we got there it just closed so we broke in
and we like were kind of walk just like wandering through it and every it was just like you walk
and walk and you get to like a cement diorama of like Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins and you'd hit a
button and this voice would be like Gandalf and Bilbo were friends in the Shire and they would
sort of narrate like some of the book for you and then you go on a little nature hike and you get to
the next part but I'm trying to I want to show you guys I'm dropping into the chat oh we have this
little picture of the green little the green golem. Yeah, the golem that was in that
was like the funniest thing I've ever seen.
That is so weird.
So who made that, do you think?
Is there any explanation?
It was, it turns out like,
cause when we got to golem,
we hit the button and the voice was like,
golem lived in a cave.
And then the people who made it and owned it,
like started like yelling at us and chasing us
because we could hear where we
were because of the loudspeaker so they knew where we they could like identify us and so they started
chasing us and we had to like sprint out of the like the hobbit maze and to back to our cars oh
my god wait because you weren't supposed to be there yeah we broke in we'd broken it yeah because it was so hobbit so hobbit town or hobbiton usa
was open and then closed or you went after hours we were there after hours but sadly it closed like
a year before the peter jackson movie came out before the first peter jackson they just missed
it by like a year i know it was really sad i really liked it and i was like oh this would
be so great if anybody cared about The Hobbit right now.
And then it just like ended up.
Yeah.
But I broke the law.
But would it be like worse for people who actually saw the movies and then went to this?
Because like this looks like a kid made it.
Oh, yeah.
It's really shitty.
I feel like if you actually cared and then you pulled in, you'd be like, oh, damn, we just drove all the way here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not easy to get to um anyway yeah so i
love uh i love the lord of the rings i also never watched any of the hobbit movies and i think return
to the king is boring and i've never read any of the books so you have a very unique um way in
we haven't heard about the radio play so i do feel like um
unfortunately we're probably gonna have to hear a little bit of it but i i don't want 13 hours of
it i think if we absolutely don't want 13 hours it would be that's like pure punishment at this
point we've we've watched every single thing we've written our own you know it's gone everywhere you're
so deep in it.
You know, 13 hours would just destroy you.
And it's a story you've already had to trace over so many times.
And to be like, there'd be no surprises in it at all.
No, it's so true.
I mean, we are watching the same story over and over and over again.
But like, I keep seeing new things that I didn't catch the first time.
And I still don't know that I could tell you.
Are you happy about the things you're catching? Or you're just like, ah, just a thing?
It's a lot of just, ah, a thing. Through this experience, I have learned I am deeply not into
fantasy when it comes to the woods and little Keebler elves and fairies. Or they're fairies, right?
Elves.
Gladrigal, she's a fairy?
No, elves.
Why can't there be fairies?
Okay, I mean...
There should be.
If there were little teeny fairies flying around,
I would like that.
I would like that too.
Like, I love Fern Gully,
but yeah, Lord of the Rings doesn't do it for me.
I don't know what it is I think I'm just like
you know what too like fairies would also I'm assuming some of them would be female we'd get
more female characters there's like so few female characters in these movies and that's like boring
like I feel like we don't have much to hold on to coming into this as people who don't have
a fantasy background like we're grasping oh yeah Lord of the rings is so male it's wild it's like all about
battle buddies in world war one or two whatever it was like that tolkien was obsessed with is like
i feel like it's all about like you go to war and then you have a battle buddy and then you
see them through everything and that's not a female experience. That's like an extremely British, like male experience.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe that's what it is.
I just miss like women.
Yeah.
Cause I mean,
I do think like we're always looking for romance or something in there.
That's like relatable in some way.
And like,
it just,
it doesn't have that at all.
And so we're like,
okay,
try to remember who all these people are and what they're doing
and like why they're mad at each other.
It's just a lot.
And this, and because they're so long, you're like, oh my God, like if it like, just get
to the point.
The most like romantic relationship in all of the movies is like Frodo and Sam.
They're so in love with each other.
But Bill, like Bilbo Baggins, once you get to Hobbit it's like who gives a nobody
everything feels really fakey
if there's any sort of love story
but see that one was my favorite so that's
what's so weird about it because I was like this one's
silly like they're just silly and
super fun
okay well should we jump into
wait I want to talk about your Gollum
tattoo oh yeah I skipped over the
most important thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
So in the middle of all of that, I like when I was 20 years old, I took a bus to Seattle from L.A.
And I had like 12 hours in Seattle.
And I was like, I need to get a tattoo.
And then I went to this place called the Pink Zone.
And I was like, I need to just pick one
of these tattoos or I just won't have one. And I gravitated this like very generic Gollum tattoo.
Just the logic of I need to pick one or I won't have one.
Yeah. I was just like, I need it now. I need it now. I'm an adult. But anyway,
and I was just, I was, yeah, I wouldn't think I was even 20 yet. I was like 18 or 19, but I was just like this one.
So I ended up with this like crazy.
And also this is before the Lord of the Rings came out.
It's not a Reagan and Bass Golem, but I feel like it is very clearly a generic Golem.
I can't wait.
So wait, I got to turn my selfie back on so you guys can see.
Make sure you guys can see it.
But.
Wow.
It's not small.
It's not small.
It's like a blurry idea of a golem.
Is that what you, it kind of looks like.
Like Yoda.
Oh, and I was going to say gremlins.
Yeah, like a Yoda-y gremlin.
It's a little gremlins-y.
It's a little Yoda- see it's a little yoda
yeah but i feel like he just kind of falls in the middle of it's pretty fun do you regret it
um no i don't have to see it very often because it's on my butt so um my husband has to see it
and he comments on it and calls it a golam which is just sort of no i i think it's funny
i feel like it ties a lot of my life together yeah um it is stupid i so this was like flash
on the wall of a tattoo shop yeah i just sort of looked at the wall and i was like i gotta pick one
that's so funny were you able to choose the size or was it like that's the size it was on the wall
um i think he was like how big and i was like this i was like i wanted it to like peek out over my
shorts because it was the you know my god i love that the 90s so golem just to peek out and say
hello i think my reasoning was i was like he's you, you know, he's not scary, but he's not cute.
He's like me.
I'm kind of just like different.
And do you have other tattoos or is that your only one?
Yeah, I have an Edward Gorey tattoo that matches it on the other hip, which is also really basic.
And I got it like the next year.
Sure.
Wait, who?
Edward Gorey.
He's like an artist.
Oh.
I think you might recognize him.
Oh, cute. Oh, like oh cute oh cute cute
that's fun i like that there's the pair i know maybe one day i'll like touch them up and and
make them more modern but and whatever the only thing about getting a tattoo touched up is like
you forget how much they fucking hurt how many you have tattoos right
Nicole yeah I think I have now I don't know maybe 20 15 something like that wow I didn't get that
many I have so many and I just keep getting more I love tattoos yeah I truly love them and I keep
thinking of the dumbest things to get tattooed to me that make me tea.
I feel like once you open the door and you get them,
like you're way more open to just adding fun ones and running with it.
And it's not as precious as like the,
Oh,
no pun intended as the first one,
but I don't have any though.
And I feel like I actually had a dream last night that I accidentally got two tattoos.
And one of them was the three eyed fish from The Simpsons.
But it was like drawn really bad.
And I was like, oh, I think this is bad.
That's awesome.
I like that you had a dream where you accidentally got a tattoo.
And it wasn't filled in.
And I was like, I think I'm supposed to go back or something.
Nicole, do you have like a go to tattoo person or do you just like wing it?
I used to wing it, but then I went and got a tattoo not from this girl.
I get them from this girl named Alana.
She has a shop called Rabble Rouser in Venice.
And I like her work.
She does.
She does everything she draws.
I'm like, like yes I love it
uh and then I got another one by this other random person and he didn't do a good he did a fine job
it was whatever then I was like oh why would I ever leave this lady that I like so I just I go
to her like once every couple years that's cool, what was your first one? My first one was three stars on my ankle that I made on Microsoft word.
And it says loved in the day my mother died.
And I took a piece of paper to the artist and I was like this,
please.
And he was like,
do you want it bigger,
smaller?
Do you want me to draw you something?
And I was like,
no,
because I was like,
I don't what
if he's a bad drawer right and then i also thought you could only get what was on the walls as well
it was like either you brought in a picture or you got what was on the wall right i don't know
why i didn't understand that a tattoo artist is an artist i have one two three four four or five tattoos I made on Microsoft Word before I learned
that they can draw you stuff I think that's really great I love that I mean that's yeah
I mean I was in the same head head frame I was like either I bring a print out or I pick it off
the wall and there's only two options that That's so funny. And asking a question is definitely out of the question.
I mean,
I asked zero questions up until like a couple of years ago.
I just be like,
sure.
Should we hit the Shire wire,
which is our news segment.
So Sean Connery declined an offer to star in Lord of the Rings.
Peter Jackson offered Connery the role of Gandalf,
which later went to Ian McClellan.
Connery apparently turned down the trilogy
because he did not understand the script.
This was the same reasoning for turning down the role
of Morpheus in The Matrix a few years prior.
Imagine Sean Connery in The Matrix.
Doesn't he know you can just do stuff you don't understand?
Did you hear the last part of that story that was really funny, though, that because of that, he he did pick League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to be in.
And then everyone hated it so much that he quit acting forever.
What? Oh, my God.
Wait, hold on.
OK, wait, we're getting there in our story.
So Lord of the Rings ended up costing Connery more than The Matrix did. He would have collected 15% of the trilogy's box office, which Celebrity Net Worth valued at $450 million on top of his $10 million salary.
Plus, Gandalf appeared in three Hobbit films, too, so he would have made even more than that.
So Ian McKellen made Bank.
Damn, yeah, he did.
I mean, $450 million in box office?
That's insane.
That's amazing.
Well, yep. After watching The Matrix and lord of the rings become massive hits and pop culture phenomenon uh phenomenon phenomena oh phenomena
without him man sometimes reading is so no it just sounded like that muppet song where they go
isn't it like manomina manomina manomina so connor decided to make a movie he
didn't understand and this one that came his way was the leading of extraordinary gentleman
based on the alan moore and kevin o'neill comic books that is so fucking funny and he said i don't
understand this movie but i'll be damned if i turn it down that's fucking hilarious. And he said, I don't understand this movie, but I'll be damned if I turn it down.
That's fucking hilarious.
Okay, so he literally did my advice and it went horribly.
That's great. And then he never
acted again. He quit Hollywood.
How old was he then? Wait, truly? That was
his last movie? Yeah.
That's sad. That's really
funny. You can't take it that personally.
I mean, I guess he's probably old.
And rest in peace, Sean Connery.
Oh, did he pass?
He just did the other day.
Oh, dang.
And I was looking at, I follow People Magazine on Instagram,
and they posted their cover, which had Michael J. Fox,
and then it had Sean Connery in like a bubble.
And then all the comments were like,
Sean Connery should be the main picture.
And they're just like ranking on Michael J. Fox for being.
I'm like, do you understand how anything works?
It's not like the whatever.
I just don't know why I read comments, but I can't help it.
People love to complain.
I always click the comments going.
I bet you I know what they're going to be mad about.
And then I just see that they are.
And I OK, now I was right.
That's all I wanted.
Yeah. they are and i okay now i was right that's all i wanted yeah i feel like i i feel like i understand
people less and less as time goes on people magazine or just people people magazine i just
don't understand like where their stories are going it's just like too crazy for me no people
in the world everyone's crazy yeah i feel election, too, is just making that even more clear.
Like, well, OK, I have no connection to anything.
I mean, we'll know who's president by the time this comes out or maybe we won't.
Who knows?
Oh, weird.
There was like I know tonight by the time we finish recording.
Maybe we should check in.
But in Detroit, there is people like pounding on the glass of like the counting centers. don't know what the fuck they're called being like stop the count chanting stop the count
and i was like what is happening and then there's protests and i was like what it what
what in the literal fuck is happening and like i feel insane every fucking day yeah it's crazy
um it's bad well let's take a quick break and we'll come back and we'll dive into this
fan film that we just need to talk about in depth
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nord's 30-day money-back guarantee link is in the episode description oh baby we're back and we gotta talk about this plot summary okay i gotta say watching this i was like what
is happening and then i thought that this man who played or aragorn 2 was the man.
I thought it was the dude from the movie.
He looks so much like him.
I was blown away that they weren't the same person.
He's also kind of janky when you look at him again.
It's sort of like how Gandalf sort of just looks like someone's dad in this.
And then when he meets the other ranger, that guy just has mud on his face.
There's so much mud on everyone's face.
Yes, a lot of mud.
Yeah, mud was a key player.
So, okay, so it's called The Hunt for Gollum,
and it was written, directed, and produced by Chris Bouchard,
and it was released May 3rd, 2009.
Now, should we jump into the plot first?
We want to talk about...
Yeah, let's jump into the plot first? We want to talk about... Yeah, let's jump into the plot.
So the film is set during the time span
of the Fellowship of the Rings.
It takes place 17 years after Biblo Bagginson's
111th birthday party,
and just before Frodo leaves the Shire for Riverdale,
an interval that is not outlined in the motion picture.
The wizard, Gendi, fears that Gollum may reveal information
about the one ring to the dark lord, Sauron,
and sends the ranger, Aragorn,
to quest, what?
On a quest to find him.
The story opens with a brief prologue
about the ring's disappearance
before cutting to Aragorn and Gandalf at an inn,
presumably the Prancing Pony,
which of course I knew, just kidding,
in Bree. Gandalf explains his concerns about Gollum's knowledge of the ring falling into
enemy hands and asks Aragorn to find the creature with his tracking skills.
After initially having little luck, Aragorn crosses paths with a fellow ranger and
distant kinsman named Arithir, who reports hearing rumors about a creature that has been stealing
fish from open windows in local villages.
Movie cuts to a scene of Gollum doing just that
and eating his ill-gotten gain atop the roof.
Aragorn and Arthur part ways
and Aragorn encounters and kills
a pair of orc scouts in the forest.
He locates Gollum by a fish pond afterwards
and captures the creature in a snare trap.
Having secured the whining and protesting Gollum inside the sack,
Aragorn sets out for Mirkwood.
On the way, he briefly spots one of the nine ring wraiths in the woods,
but avoids it.
Later that day, he is attacked by an orc squad and defeats them,
but he is hit by a poison dart,
which takes effect after he dispatches his last attacker.
He collapses beside the patch of Fila flowers
and has a vision of Arwen in Riverdale.
Aragorn regains consciousness at dusk
and discovers that Gollum has escaped from the sack.
I want to know who was in that sack, by the way.
I have questions about the sack.
He seeks the creature well into the night
and finally finds him hiding up in a tree.
Gollum fearfully explains that a ringwraith is coming.
Seconds later, a ringwraith indeed does appear
and attacks Aragorn.
After a short but intense duel,
the ringwraith flees from a bright light
created by the elves of Mirkwood
who recapture Gollum and guide Aragorn
back to their fortress.
The scene cuts to Gandhi emerging from Mirkwood's dungeons
after interrogating Gollum.
Gandhi tells Aragorn that Gollum knows of Biblo Baggins and the Shire and explains that he must go there now to warn Frodo.
Aragorn suggests sending Frodo to meet him in Bree, and Gandhi readily agrees.
The film ends with Gollum speaking to himself in the dungeon where he vows to kill Baggins and reclaim his precious and that's it now yeah
okay now how how did this film stack up against everything else we've seen and and all of us
that we know about lord of the rings and do we think it's a good supplement to the franchise
story-wise i just have to say i felt I felt confused about the story, which was on brand. Yes.
But I don't know if that helped me in any way.
I also felt like I don't,
because I don't really understand.
I didn't really understand before actually talking about it right now that
fan films exist and are like fan fiction,
basically like let's act out something we wish would happen in the movie or
like fill in the gap in some part.
It's a pretty interesting idea.
But, and I actually thought they looked a lot like it looked really good like i was really surprised it i thought
it was gonna look like blair witch or something like i was like really surprised like a found
footage fantasy movie but i don't get how they used gollum like i don't that part i didn't understand well like i think it's based on
like there's a story so there's a i think in the lord of the rings book there's a part or in the
as i know it in the radio show there's a part where like gandalf is like basically like hey
this guy strider went and and talked to he basically like went and talked to golem and
found out that you guys have the ring.
So I think that he just took like that line from the book and was like,
what if that was a little movie I could do?
Cause it's not in any of the movies.
So he was just doing like,
basically I think it might even be like a footnote or something crazy like that in the book where it's like a couple lines,
but he was just like,
okay,
that's the movie I'm making.
And I'm going to make him be a badass
and like fight a bunch of orcs
and black writers
and have a girlfriend dream
and stuff to fill it out.
I wonder how it got so well known.
It's been viewed so many times.
It was in a film festival
and it was written up
in like the New York Times
and the BBC
and all these like, it was written up in like the new york times and the bbc and all these like it
was kind of like the first lord of the rings um fan film and i think just because it looks so good
people just kind of got excited about it i don't know they showed it in theaters actually in
england like oh wow the week that it came out and then it was like streaming and it seems like just
people were like oh like this costs four grand and you did
like this you were able to like do this level of kind of faking out peter jackson yeah i mean i
did feel like it it like has the right look and and i was like instantly bored in that way that i
am you know so i knew it was doing something right yeah I think totally it was
yeah they did really well you're like oh it's back we're back I also thought I think I misunderstood
something when we first talked about watching this and I thought that it was like a documentary
sort of I thought it was gonna be funny or like weird and it was just like more of this like i was serious just a
just a piece of a couple scenes you missed yeah with the worst actors i just like kept being
confused i was like why is aragorn looking for gollum you know what i thought was like sweet like
there was something about them acting out this stuff. I don't know who these people are,
but because they made this,
I assume it's like,
they're very passionate and whatever.
But there was something about,
sometimes when you can feel like,
oh, they just memorized the line.
They just did that.
It's like there was something endearing about that to me.
Like, oh, he just went over there and was like,
I'm going to,
I can't even think of a line,
but they like took this
time like it felt very like sincere and like sweet in that sense like just thinking about everyone
doing it which i'm probably not supposed to be thinking about when watching something but
there was that homemade vibe that you can't help but feel i got that vibe very strongly when he
had his flashback to like uh arwen and it was just like in kind of some greenhouse and it just,
and then she looked like she just worked at like a drugstore.
I thought Arwen looked more like the way I think an elf should look.
Ooh. Oh, that's controversial. And I love it. So more than like Liv Tyler.
I think so. I buy her more as an elf than live tyler yes
dang i love that that's cool oh is that like not a good thought no i just have bought into the
peter jackson like aesthetic of elves so completely and she just seemed kind of like a fun a sweet
normie because she's more accessible like the people in those movies are so like symmetrical
and like glowy they always have light bouncing off them totally yeah like blown out with like
stars around them yeah and i liked her looking real yeah yeah make them all more real that's
i want the gob block to look more authentic yes less block and more gob i liked the idea of just keeping
golem in a bag too so you didn't have to do golem effects that was actually pretty clever yeah
but i i really was going who's in the bag who's in there i just wanted to know like is there a kid
in there is it a guy like what's the 14 year old do you think it was an actual person
or do you think it was just like a bunch of toys well like it kind of punched at one point so i was
like at some point there's somebody in there or something but yeah i don't know that's the
information i really want about the making of this i wonder if that's going to be in our trivia. Maybe it will. Who's in the bag?
Well, okay.
So how do we feel about the acting overall?
What was our takeaway?
What was the vibe?
You know, I thought it looked so much
like a Lord of the Rings movie
and felt so much like a Lord of the Rings movie.
I would be like, oh, wait, what's up?
Oh yeah, these are not Lord of the Rings people.
These are not like actors that
i've seen in many things so like i kept getting tricked into thinking they were acting very well
but then i was like some of these lines are not so good so i kind of went in and out yeah i also
thinking it was made in 2009 it was makes it a little more impressive too like it looks pretty
good for 2009 it looks you know it's like solid like it looked really fucking good
yeah eva what did you think did you feel guys it ranks like this for me number one fellowship of
the ring number two lord of the rings radio show number three hunt for golem i fucking loved
okay and that's not just because it's the only ones you've seen no that all the rest of them then all the rest of everything wow i was like blissed out
on hunt for golem oh my god i love this okay this is a hot take my husband was too we were both like
this fucking rules we were just like how did they do this the whole time we were just like freaking
out we're like this cost four grand they just this. They just got all this shit together.
What, why is it?
What if Lord, and it's also like,
what if everyone in Lord of the Rings
was sort of like a normie just person,
just sort of like wandering around in the whales.
I loved it.
I just felt, I was feeling it.
It didn't, I didn't feel like all the kind of cynicism
when I've dipped in and out of the Hobbits,
when I'm like, oh, they're just like stretching this out.
I was like, this is like,
everyone's just going for it. It was like going to watch like a high school musical or something where
everyone's just like, this is our moment. We're in Lord of the Rings.
I'm Strider. I'm Gollum.
Like it just felt like incredibly earnest in a way that I just,
I just won me over immediately.
Well,
and I do think there's something
really nice about the fact they didn't make it like three hours long they were like let's make
it 30 minutes let's just do it as well as we possibly can for 30 minutes and I thought that
was um a great call because it does make you appreciate all the work more if it went on longer
like stop I I after the 40 minute mark I would have like plummeted from my favorites.
Yes, I did appreciate that it was short and sweet.
This film won awards.
It won the Balticon Film Festival
for Amateur Short Film Award
for the Best Live Action Award in 2009.
I just said awards so many times.
And on national public radios,
All Things Considered, reporter Laura Seidel said, the hunt for Gollum I just said award so many times. And on national public radios, all things considered reporter,
Laura reporter,
Laura Seidel said the hunt for Gollum looks just like the Hollywood version.
I was fooled the first time I saw it.
The special effects in the trailer are flawless.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
She loved it.
She was like,
I thought this was the movie.
I thought that was Orlando bloom.
Try to convince me.
It's not a blogger for
entertainment weekly said the filmmakers seem to have nailed a passable low budget version
of peter jackson's best epic movie ever visuals yeah i think if i were peter jackson i'd be like
this can't live anywhere because this must be stopped yes because i spent a lot of money and time making these
movies and these people maybe spent some time but not nearly as much money as i did yeah yeah
he's like i own new zealand motherfuckers because theoretically let's see it's like a 30 minute
movie lord of the rings is three hours long so what is that like 20 000 he should have been able
to make that movie for i'm not good at math 21 i honestly have no idea but alfred would like have
had to volunteer their time and their effort yeah he would have had to get a lot of people to
volunteer that would never work but the tolkien scholar robin and reed wrote that the consensus
seems to be that the film is atypical of fan
productions because of its professional production values and calls it a hybrid fan slash pro film.
Okay, so a fan film can't be done professionally. It's almost like she's saying it can't be too
good. Like if you get some professionals to help out on your fan film, it's no longer a fan film.
Robin, suck it. And she's a tolkien scholar
it feels like she'd be supportive of this but maybe she's just too jealous she's in too deep
yeah robin and reed she's in too deep you can't you can't say it doesn't count because it's too
good that is like a really weird that's a weird move well maybe it's because like you wouldn't
That's a weird move.
Well, maybe it's because, like, you wouldn't go all out on, like, a fan fiction movie.
I don't know what she means.
I think she's being a little shady.
Well, like, Eva, have you seen any Star Wars fan films?
Just little bits of them.
I'm not as much of a Star Wars fan. So the idea of sitting down and watching like a really long fan film
that scares me but i've read a lot of fan fiction well i'm curious if the ones you've seen if like
the costumes because i'm picturing star wars costumes that seems harder than this in some
ways yeah yeah because like it's easy to make a star wars costume look cheap these are like
rags on people and they're in the forest.
It's true.
And everyone just, let me say it again,
there's so much dirt on their faces.
So much dirt.
Yeah, just put a bunch of dirt and you're like, we're hobbits.
There's one guy who just, he just looks very muddy.
He just looks like he's having a muddy little,
he put his face in some mud.
Isn't that Arthur?
Arthur?
Arthur.
He has like a beard of mud and then like a smear on his forehead.
What kind of fan fiction do you like?
Do you have like a genre?
Well, this is like from an other job I had,
but I got really into it when I was working on the show Viva La Bam in the 2000s.
I was like a story editor on that.
And we all discovered like the Viva La Bam fan fiction live journals while we were working on it.
And some of them were like sex fan fiction, but it was like this weird like type of sex fan fiction where the guys in Viva La Bam would want to have sex and then decided the last second it would ruin their friendships.
That's very funny it was really funny and it was called do jera that was like the genre and we would print it out and just leave it for them to find places like on set because it was just so
uncomfortable they get right up to the edge and be like you know what dude i love i i care about
you too much as a friend and it was all written
by girls like by teen girls interesting yeah i was like that's in my next fan fiction yes um
i loved that and then yeah and then i just was like poked around on fanfiction.net a lot because
it's like i i appreciate when people put themselves in the story. I always think putting yourself in the story is like the clutch move.
That's fun.
Oh, yeah.
Have you ever written your, yeah, put yourself in the story.
Yeah, we've never written ourselves in.
And I feel like that is a fun thing to try because like anything could happen, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if, you know, Bilbo met two ladies who were just kind of interesting, fun comedians.
It would be two ladies who were like angry to be there.
How the fuck do we get to Middle Earth?
Why are we here?
That would be kind of a good like Bill and Ted remake sort of thing.
It's like you and me, we accidentally travel to like fantasy lands and we're pissed.
And then we have to like figure out how to get out you go through like a narnia cabinet you're like what the fuck wait this is the worst possible thing okay hollywood do your thing
we hate this
all right well here's some trivia for you So the movie's plot is almost entirely original,
as Tolkien gave few details about this incident in his writings.
And one deviation the movie makes, however,
was that Aragorn catches Gollum in a forest,
whereas the appendices of the Lord of the Rings
specify that his capture took place in the Dead Marshes.
The deviation may have been made
because of the difficulty of recreating the marshes on a low budget.
I'm assuming it definitely was.
Yeah, most deaf.
They were also in Wales.
I don't think Wales has marshes.
Oh.
They shot it in, like...
Location specificities.
They have moors.
They have moors, not marshes.
What's a moor?
Yeah, I was just about to be like, I don't really know the difference between a moors or a marsh.
I think they're just...
They're slightly different.
I just think they're a little different. creatures more i think it's kind of like
a marsh i don't know they're both sort of like they're both like kind of long grassy area plains
they're british plains basically wet mushy plains attractive open uncultivated upland. A heath. A heath, yeah. A heath is a good one, too.
I also see Michael Moore as an option.
Oh.
Catch him in Michael Moore.
Well, here is some more trivia.
Chris Dingley, one of the actors who performed Gollum's physical portrayal in this film,
worked with Jonathan Rice Davies, who played Gimli in Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy,
in the TV movie Helen of Troy.
Oh, so someone was in the bag, maybe.
Ooh.
I'm obsessed with the bag.
Yeah, maybe Chris Dingley was in the bag.
John Rhys Davies is also in Indiana Jones.
He's Sala.
I've never seen Indiana Jones.
Oh.
You shouldn't do that. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, I haven't seen that since I was a kid, but we can't. Don't Indiana Jones. Oh, you don't. You shouldn't do that.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I haven't seen him since I was a kid, but we can't.
Don't do it.
No, no, no.
Don't do it.
Wait, what's the name of the guy who was Bilbo?
Ian Holm?
Yes.
I just saw Alien the other day for the first time.
He's an alien, too.
Yeah.
He gets his head knocked off.
It was so good.
Have you seen that, Nicole?
No, I have never seen Alien.
I've never seen it, and I really liked it.
And yeah, that guy's in it.
I didn't realize it for like a long time.
He died this year, too.
Yeah.
Oh, so the guy that we mentioned who played Gollum,
he and two others did the physical portrayal of Gollum,
so he may or may not have been the one in the bag
is what we're hearing.
Well, internet, tell us who's
in that bag lauren's gotta know who in the bag okay so this was viewed for free over 1 million
times in the first week of its online release on may 3rd 2009 that must have been extremely
exciting for those people yeah truly and shortly that, it became the fourth most watched release
in the U.S.
in terms of viewing numbers.
And by October 20th,
which is only, what,
six months later or something,
it had been viewed by 10 million people.
That's wild.
Well, yeah,
the New York Times interview with the guy,
they were like,
why would you make a movie
that you can never sell?
And he was like, basically like,
I made a movie that people are going to watch. Like, that's the trade-off it's like it was more for me that people wanted
to see it than that i make any money off it so that's kind of cool that's true art yeah he wanted
to just he was making art that is true art just art for the the sake of sharing. Yeah. I think that's nice.
So the last little bit of trivia is it was shot for less than $5,000 with 160 people volunteering as crew members.
That's a good chunk of people.
Yeah.
160 volunteers.
Maybe it was like some people could do makeup.
Some people could do effects.
Some people had a camera.
I don't know.
What if he did other things.
I'm now on his IMDb page.
Well, OK, I had this question to Nicole and it says that he directed The Little Mermaid. So I was like, oh, he did a big studio movie.
But no, it's like a really weird Little Mermaid that came out two years ago.
That seems really strange that I mean, that no saw yeah yeah i've okay yeah i'm looking at
this little mermaid i've definitely was like oh cool he got like a disney movie he got a live
action disney little mermaid that i don't know i don't think i've ever heard of but i assume it
came out and then i was like oh no this is a completely different little mermaid and it's it seems wild but he's still
doing stuff it's on hulu i feel like a lot of like big budget movies are directed by like
men who've helmed in indie that did well dude so many they go from doing one indie to doing like the craziest things and they are just like yep and i am blown away by that
i feel like that is such a thing that just happens with yeah it's really no effort i think the person
who did the spectacular now then directed i think the fantastic four movie wow i think i might be lying about that teehee if you guys were gonna do a fan film
what would the thing be if terminator terminator terminator universe my favorite have an idea of
what this what like part of the story you would want to do? I don't know.
I mean, I'm very interested in directly after the nuclear war with the robots just kind of running around.
What was that like?
Just get me in that Terminator universe.
What would you do, Lauren?
Unfortunately, probably like full house.
But how fun would that be? But I'm just other people in the neighborhood but like that's so funny
uh i really love that answer probably full house So fan fiction on Ghost, the 1990 thriller, romance thriller.
So good.
Oh my God.
I need to rewatch that.
That feels like a good movie right now to watch.
I love it.
It's my favorite.
I feel like there's a lot of ghosts.
There's like a haunted house worth of ghosts that we haven't met in the ghost universe.
Oh, so many.
We got to meet subway ghosts.
We got to meet like a handful of other ghosts, but like there's a lot of ghosts hanging out in ghost you could definitely do a whole ghost land version i actually the ghosts
that are super creepy like the way that they look when they're you know coming to take them to hell
and stuff yes those are like not fun those ones i don't like when they're like ah apparently i did
like uh this like npr thing where they ask me questions
on ghosts because it's my favorite movie.
And one of the trivia things was the sound that the ghosts make when they drag you to
hell is the sound of babies crying that they slowed down.
I don't know how true that is.
I might be telling a fib.
That is pretty sure that's what it was.
Creepy.
In that wild.
That's a really good idea. telling a fib that is pretty sure that's what it was creepy in that wild that's who comes up with that idea like the creepiest sound designer in the world he's like i want to make my baby i'm
gonna pinch my baby record it and slow it down the coolest sound person because they took acid
one time when they were babysitting and the baby sounded like that when i was crying and it's like
oh my god is the crying slowed down they're like that's scary i'll put it in the movie that's how i think that went
down i think you're 100 right oh well i don't know that i would ever have the energy see i don't
think i have some i don't think i have like a i don't know if I have a thing, maybe a 90 day fiance, like, um, fan, fan film where I act out like all the roles of like Colt and Larissa.
I would absolutely love it.
Um,
well,
Eva,
what are you watching now?
Do you have anything that you're really passionate about?
Hmm.
I did the vow,
but it disappointed me
have you seen seduced I heard seduced is better
on stars I know I just don't have
enough energy for another
NXIVM doc right now
I know
yeah I haven't actually had a lot of
like being able quarantine makes
it so I can't focus on television right now
it's been a little bit weird so
I've just been enjoying
like podcasts and stuff like that. Do you feel like you're like you personally can't focus
because like just your mind is going to different places or like you're busy with things and TV
isn't. I'm a little busy. I have a job. I've gotten really into this game for a week called
Ring Fit Adventure, where you have like a Pilates ring.
I've heard of this.
Wait, a Pilates ring?
You know a Pilates ring that's also like, it vibrates, it's connected to the game.
Oh, an actual ring.
I was thinking like a ring, like my Pilates crew and we go crying.
You have like a squeezy ring and you like fight a dragon with it.
And I play it for like an hour a day minimum.
So I mostly like all my brain power just goes to like ring fit adventure lately.
I'm loving it.
It seems like a good workout.
It's so, it's really hard.
And it kicks your, and you also have like a thing strapped to your leg with a little controller in it.
So you have to run in place really, really fast while you're like doing this sometimes to like fight the dragons
and fight the monsters.
Did you ever play that Nintendo game as a kid?
That was like,
um,
the Olympics.
Well,
it was like the,
it was like original Nintendo Olympics and my neighbor had it and it had
this mat on the ground.
That was like a center mat.
I played at other people's houses where i was
totally another person's house thing yes yeah and you had to like run in place to be like in
track and field and then you would do the high jump and so then we always trick the mat by jumping
off the mat completely and then jumping back on like five seconds later so it's like you got an
amazing score but it was like not a good workout because you just cheat the whole time and i mean
kids do that anyway so yeah it's definitely like one of those but it's it's fun i like it it's like
a role-playing game but you're doing exercises the whole time so that's been my main thing i've
been enjoying that's cool yeah you know what i started watching that's really good what the
undoing on hbo is that the one with Nicole Kidman?
Yeah.
I heard she sings the title song.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
That's what John said.
And I was like, yeah, right.
Yeah.
That's people are talking about that.
She sings it.
Is it good?
Oh, my God. It's really good.
I've only seen bits and pieces and it seems good.
Well, it's a fun mystery sort of thing and it's unfolding.
And I've only
um i've seen the first two episodes because it comes out weekly and you can't binge it
unless you wait but i don't have that kind of patience but it's really good i watched two
seasons of the boys i really liked it it was fun i liked the um um yes my Aya Cash from You're the Worst was very, very awesome on the second season.
I did watch that and I loved it.
Yeah, it was a fun, good time.
Mike loved that one.
I didn't watch it, but it seemed, well, it's like superheroes, but it's.
It's as if Marvel was real.
And so like Marvel's real, the superheroes are actual real people,
but they're also deeply flawed and kind of power hungry.
And it's juicy.
It's also like kind of soapy.
I really,
I liked it.
I like the guy who plays Homelander a lot.
He's really good.
He's deranged in such a like specific,
magnificent way.
He's a,
he's very good in that part yeah the
casting's very very good i'm trying to get on it um hollywood do you think one of these days that
will work for me and i can't wait you just make it your catchphrase and then everything you say
just say it right after and then something eventually will happen how do you think um wait have we come to the end
yeah eva do you have anything you want to plug before we go um my only thing i want to plug
is a game that i made in quarantine if you go on the website you can do like it's a horror game
i played on instagram it was called arcana um and if you go on the website you can do like it's a horror game i played on instagram it was called arcana um and if you go
on the website you can read the walkthrough of it and it's like playing the game all over again it
ran in may but it's uh oh cool we have like a really decent walkthrough and it was just in the
indiecade game festival and we've been it was just written up an av club actually right before
halloween so anyway the website is that's exciting yeah it's exciting. Yeah, it's fun. It's very spooky, too.
It's a little skeers.
So it's A-R-C-A-N-A-game.com.
And if you check that out, you can click our walkthrough.
You could play it like you're playing it in real life.
And it's free.
Love it.
So enjoy.
I love that.
How did you get involved with that, making a game?
I do a lot of immersive theater
and yes okay wait you've done some really interesting ones haven't you i mean i feel
like i've heard about these where you'll go and be led around by people or you know they do crazy
things to you yeah there was one i had to do where I was like fully naked, just like in a weird building.
Wait, what?
Yeah, there's like they'll like show up and you'll the first one I did that was super crazy was like you'll experience human birth where you will be the baby and you have to be like naked the whole time.
I was like, sure.
So I did that.
That was like five years ago.
What was that like?
You can't just tell me you were naked in a building being born and just be like, yeah, so yeah, I like theater, immersive theater.
It's fun.
So that's when I did.
It's like, wait, what happened?
Did you walk in, take off your clothes?
Where are you?
It was pitch black.
I put on headphones.
I ended up in a tunnel that was all slimy that I was like walking through. And then I ended up in a room that was like all strobe lights and sound. And then I was on an operating table and they were like,
they're like, she's, we're losing her. And then they took me to this weird room where I had to
like watch a video. And then I ended up, my mom came and got me my quote unquote mom. And then
she took me to a nursery and she like said a poem and then she like kind of pushed me out into an
alley like a place for a room where my clothes were and then my i left the room and i was in
and just in the an alley in north hollywood just kind of like i put my clothes on and i was just
in an alley i was just like whoa and i just had to find my car so So I did that one. I also did a thing where I like paid a theater company to like do a thing in my life for a while.
I think you've heard about that one.
That was like for six months.
They would like come to my house and like yell at me and stuff.
Wait, what?
For six months.
People would come to your home and yell at you?
They arrested me for like crimes
because why did i do it because i was bored so wait i'm so i'm so sorry i need to understand
this i had i it cost hundreds of dollars okay um so you like wrote to a theater company and you're
like we come to my home and arrest me they wrote to me and they were like, we need to come to my home and arrest me. They wrote to me and they were like, we're offering a service.
And if you pay this like some,
we'll just like do a play in your life.
But it sounds like the beginning of like
Eternal Sunshine or something.
It feels like there's an interesting movie there.
Like that's just.
That's why I had to do it.
I was like, no, this is this,
you don't get this letter very often in your life.
Yeah.
I wouldn't do it specifically because I'm like, they're going to kill me.
They're going to come, you know, murder me.
They won't kill you.
These guys were good guys.
It turned out later, I found out there were some other theater companies out there that were bad guys that were doing the same thing.
But these guys were good guys.
But a lot of it, what started to grind on it was that, like, they lived in Orange County.
So I'd have to drive to Orange County all the time to their condo.
Oh, no.
Like have a experience.
And I'd sort of be like, OK, I'm back in like by it was always by like Knott's Berry Farm.
And they'd be like, show up at midnight at this address.
And I'm like, I know this condo complex by now, guys, like you always make me come here.
That is funny to say show up to this address and it's just the same address.
And you're
like all right i'll just i'll be there yeah it's kind of fascinating though like thinking about the
people doing it but i think i think you are more interesting for doing it than they are for doing
it you know what i mean like correct i'm very fascinated by that pull within you to have these experiences oh it's big did you ever like like what where do
you think that came from like did you ever like go to like a dinner theater performance or something
or like and it was just like this could be more I was just really interested in like having like
unique really crazy experiences and like and it worked up to a point it was super like when it
was super fun it it was super fun,
it was super, super fun. And then it like crashed really hard. As soon as like you end up at a show
where like, they're not responsible and they're being like creepy. And then you're like, oh,
I been an idiot the whole time. Like I, this could have gone bad at any point. So that happened like
two or three years ago, but now I make these shows. That was my turn is that now I create them.
That's cool.
And I keep them super emotionally safe and physically safe.
I love it.
So that's my game.
My game is actually very safe.
I think with that background info,
people are going to be really intrigued to check out the game too.
Just thinking about you going to be born in a building
and then you're like, and here's my game.
There's another time I got strangled in the desert.
And that one,
I was like,
I was like,
this is too far guys.
Yeah.
That sounds insane.
There's this house.
I can't remember.
It's like the McCaber house or something.
McCamey manor.
Yeah.
Where you like sign your whole,
like a whole life away and they can pull your teeth out and like skin you and
shove shit under your nails.
It's like a,
it's like,
there's no safe word.
It just lasts until they decide they're done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I see.
I don't even like, I've been to,
what was that show that they did in those mansions
that Halloween play?
Oh, Delusion.
Yes.
I watched that twice and it's fun.
Like you walk through a house
and there's like a play happening in the house.
So each room, something different happens
and you are, they're talking to you and you're
running from them and blah, blah, blah.
And it is scary, but it's like, it's too scary for me.
There's something about it being a person who can like do anything.
Like I just feel kind of vulnerable in a way that it doesn't really, that it just freaks
me out.
Yeah.
That's very normal.
I don't like it.
That's healthy.
That's a healthy reaction.
I don't like it that's healthy that's a healthy reaction i don't like it
okay good i went to a haunted house and the way i got through it was every time someone jumped out
to scare me i said hello nice to meet you and a couple of them did not like it that would feel
so bad as the scary person like just being like okay so that one didn't work at all so now I just go like I just clap I go yay you're doing great I did it thank you oh thank you oh great job oh my god Megan
Stalter sent me this video of um some people auditioning to be scary people at Six Flags
that's funny and it's so good I'll try to find the link so that we can
please i'm dying to see that oh my god it's the auditions and it's like hours of these people
auditioning i mean you don't get you don't see hours but they show it's like edited together
and it's just like amazing i used to go to this halloween convention that's downtown called scare
la where like the people do live auditions as like,
kind of like you have a crew and like you audition as a crew to get hired as a
crew to be like scarers and it's guys who like slide on their knees.
So they'll come out and like in the middle of this convention center,
just do like a thriller,
like knee sliding routine or something where you're just like, Ooh,
like all these teens want to get hired together
so they can like be friends together at Six Flags.
That could be a show.
That could be like America's Best Scarecrow or something.
And they just say, okay, Hollywood, do your thing.
We've had a lot of good ideas today.
I don't know.
One of these is going to do something.
Hollywood's Next Best Scarecrow is so funny.
Hunt for Gollum.
Okay Hollywood
do your thing.
Oh my god.
Let's get a Gollum
scare crew in here now.
All right well we have
a segment called
The Battle of the Five Stars
where we read
a five star review
and this one comes from
It's Minerals Marie
on Apple Podcasts
and the review is titled
Board of the Rings Let These Ladies Help. Listen to the tales of Gandhi Podcasts, and the review is titled, Board of the Rings?
Let these ladies help.
Listen to the tales of Gandhi,
Biblo,
and the rest of the gang
as told by Lauren and Nicole,
and you'll laugh out loud.
Check your actually at the door
because there's enough Tolkien worship elsewhere.
This is just fun,
frank discussions about crucial topics
such as why spinning Gandhi is best Gandhi,
why the eagles are kind of dicks,
and some Emily in Paris thrown in for good measure.
I know I love this podcast
because it never has a number of cute episodes.
I devour each one the moment it's available.
Well, that's very nice.
It's Minerals Marie.
That was a great review.
That was so nice.
And very accurate that we're not trying to...
Yes.
I don't know what we're trying to do,
but we're having fun.
We're not pretending to be people we are not.
We don't like Lord of the Rings.
What kind of minerals?
We'll never know.
You know, we can write her back and see.
Maybe she'll write back.
Marie, tell us what kind of minerals you are.
Well, I mean, yeah, we'll be back next week with more Lord of the Rings goodness.
And in the meantime, we're still trying to figure out what would happen if we do a season three and what we would explore so if you have more suggestions out there that we haven't talked
about yet don't tell us about marvel and don't tell us about i don't know what the other ones
people keep sending but i've seen a lot of the same things so i want to hear an idea that we
haven't heard because i feel like there's something out there that we might really like that we don't
know find us something nerdy that you think we'll like. Yeah. We like romance.
Yeah.
We love kissing,
kissing drama.
We should just do Emily in Paris.
I would love to break down every episode of that.
Me too.
I love Emily in Paris.
Well,
Eva,
where can people follow you before we sign on? I'm on Eva f-a-y eva fay on all social media except facebook because fuck facebook follow me there i really got frustrated
when instagram at changed their like interface to say from facebook i was like it was like trying
to remind everyone who left facebook and i was like but i kind of still like you know
instagram to be like you're still kind of on facebook yes very rude very rude oh wait nicole
do you have anything to plug i didn't ask you that um guys let's vote this presidential election is
so important you gotta get out and vote i don't know i have a Patreon where I have a 90 day fiance podcast with Marcy Jarrow.
Other podcasts, Why Won't You Date Me? You know, just that stuff. Lauren?
Same. I have a Patreon and I'm doing improv. I'm bringing back with special guest Lauren Lapkus on there. I did one with Megan Stalter, who I just mentioned, who's so funny.
And I did a whole series on the Babysitter's Club show on Netflix, which was really fun.
I had on a lot of fun guests and we talked about that show, which I really loved.
Did you watch that, by the way?
No, I think that might be my next show.
Oh my God, it's so fun.
Because I'm like itching for something.
It's so fun.
You'll really enjoy it.
And it's like, it's quick too.
I mean, it's a short watch, but they're doing season two and I'm very happy because I really
liked it.
I thought all the girls were so good.
Okay, well, really liked it. I thought all the girls were so good. Okay.
Well,
that's it.
So go follow us on our Patreons and,
you know,
support our art in this time.
Yes.
Support our art.
We make art for people to listen to.
That's much like the hunt for Gollum.
Wow.
Really brought it all together.
I love that so much.
All right.
We'll see you guys soon. Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
That was a Hiddem original.