Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - 1981 BBC Radio Drama (w/ Kevin T. Porter)

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

For their final romp through Middle-earth, Lauren and Nicole are joined by comedian and podcaster Kevin T. Porter (Good Christian Fun, Gilmore Guys) to explore the much-loved 1981 BBC radio drama adaptation of The Lord of the Rings.Nothing is held back in this final installment of Season 2 as Lauren and Nicole reflect back on their experience with The Lord of the Rings franchise, and what they'd like to explore for Season 3. Kevin and Lauren also share their love of disembodied voices as Nicole reveals her revulsion towards it, and Kevin plays out the season with a heartwarming impromptu piano arrangement of The Lord of the Rings theme music.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know your thoughts on this season, and what we should explore for Season 3!Sources for this episode:Article on 4K re-release detailsTrivia from LOTR.Fandom.comAdvertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Wow, welcome to Newcomers. I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. Oh boy, we finished. This is our 20th episode. My God. We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. We don't have to watch Lord of the Rings anymore. Honestly, that was my favorite thing from the election.

That's my favorite thing, too. We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. It's so funny. You're going to be the next president of the United States. I'm so happy because we are finished with working our way through exploring Lord of the Rings franchise for the first time. It's now behind us. We've watched the Peter Jackson, Lord of the Rings, and Hobbit trilogies.

We've watched the Tolkien biopic, of course. We've watched the animation trilogy. The fan film, the video game, done lots of fan fiction, seen lots of memes. Played our first ever Dungeons and Dragons campaign. We dug into some fan theories and argued against them because now we're that informed and we watched I just nodded silently I was like okay I don't know what's wrong with me and we watched the American Dad parody last week with Rachel McFarlane which was really fun um but for our final episode we went old school again and listened

to a chapter from the 1981 BBC radio drama adaptation of Lord of the Rings. Yeah. We listened to the first of 13 hour long chapters. Now, thank God we were given the assignment of one hour. Well, Lauren, if we had to listen to the whole thing, I wouldn't be here. I would have jumped out of a fucking window. Yeah, it would be over it would be over so there the adaptation if you're interested it can be found as a 13 cd box set godspeed if

you want that and yeah wait we couldn't find a place for people to download we're telling people to go get a 13 cd box set is this 2003 I don't know i don't know and so okay obviously there's gonna be spoilers yeah and before we dive in let's just jump back to last week a little bit we had we had fun watching american dad that was an easy assignment i mean we got to watch an episode of american dad half hour quick and dirty it was a b storyline that focused on Lord of the Rings it was lovely I got all the jokes we had fun and Rachel was a really great guest and was happy to deviate

and talk about American Girl dolls for long stretches which we love but we're not going to do a season of American Girl dolls because that would ruin it we can't we can't I don't want to get so indoctrined in it that like it makes me upset you know like we love it we love it we can't i don't want to get so indoctrined in it that like it makes me upset you know like we love it we love it and when we we kind of accidentally started talking about it

and found that we just had so much joy talking about it but you know that if we had to then watch like the movies they made or like read like all the weird things we would start to really hate it because it's for eight-year-olds. And I mean, that's the beauty of it. Yeah, we're grown-ass women who are very mature. We want to watch Tyler Perry. I really want to. I really want to. I'm going to make an argument for this. We'll see what happens.

But we are very excited for our guest today. Our guest today is one of the best people. And not only is he running around town dropping off cookies like the best delivery person I've ever met in my entire life, but he's a comedian, writer, podcast producer. He's the host and producer of the podcast Good Christian Fun, The Gilmore Guys, The Maisel Goys, and Inside Voices. It's Kevin T. Porter. We did it, Joe. We did it.e we did it

i would love if she was calling to tell joe biden that like we finished the you know marathon we were watching last night of lord of the rings if that's what the call was actually about that's actually what it was and they just kind of recontextualized it to make it kind of viral they've never watched a movie together in their life and they never will do you think that's true i mean yeah i guess why in what scenario they're not like going to premieres i guess i just wanted to believe they were friends but maybe it was like a bonding exercise when he picked her for vp he was like we should like get together and watch the matrix let's watch the westerns no he's not watching the matrix he hasn't seen a movie made after the year 1982 oh my god i think you might be right i think i'm right and if he has he fell

sleep halfway through oh that's his right unfortunately sleepy joe our new president i can't get him in there let him take a snoozy on the ovalval Office desk. We're so close. We're so close. We're edging. Right on the edge. Honestly, this is the longest election that followed the longest year. Yeah. I guess 2021 is going to be just as long as 2020. It's, oh my God, it's only day five.

And it feels like we're already in March and we're not. I truly was like, I got to take down the Christmas tree now. And I feel sad about that. But I also feel like I have to push myself into like the new, you know what I mean? Like I was really enjoying like just not doing anything and laying on the couch all the time in the holiday season and just being like, no one can email me. I don't have to write back. And now it's like we're back to reality and i just need the tree to go you know yeah my tree's still up i think it's an expectations game i think just

don't say it's your year and make very low bar goals i've already claimed it this is my year you already claimed oh no what does that mean it is. I mean, some you had a good year. I think that's that's one of the, you know, things to reflect on as well. Everything is horrible. There were still some highlights and some nice things that happened and we didn't get to have all the normal, you know, life experiences that we expected to have. But it wasn't all the worst. I was thinking about this. Like, I'm curious to hear what you guys think um i was just talking to my dad about you know he was asking like if my friends were doing okay with all this and i mean of course everyone shout out his social media handles just so he's at being dead

wait did you ever figure it out no and i'm starving but he he was just asking that and i was like well of course everyone's like depressed on some level we're all very frustrated but i do feel like with creative people there's this ability to kind of just keep going because our lives are so unpredictable already with with met with jobs and what your expectations are with what's going to happen on any given day that like i feel like a lot of my friends are able to kind of just go this sucks but i'm still gonna have fun i'm still gonna try to connect with people. I'm still going to make the most of this,

even though it's horrible. And I don't mean to downplay any of the bad stuff. I'm just saying like mentally without going completely insane, it feels like there's some ability within people we know at least to kind of keep going. I agree with that. I think I've been really surprised in a good way

by friends of mine's adaptability to the situation that life in 2020 didn't feel like a story about how much everything sucks, but it was just like, oh, okay. How do I like navigating an obstacle course in a way and figuring out creative ways to help like friends of mine who like Demi Adijuibay doing all that wonderful stuff for charity with the September videos and things like that. They're just like so cool and inspiring to see. I was really proud of like people like that in my life. I agree.

I have a lot of friends doing a lot of volunteer stuff and I'm like, ooh, this is great. This is nice. And I've been giving money because I'm not good at like organizing or executing or. Yeah, that's more of my route too because I'm like, well, that's still something. I get more overwhelmed at the idea of trying to put something together and do a whole thing.

But it's been very cool seeing people do that. And even just doing comedy shows and being able to donate parts of the portions of the proceeds and finding ways to make this... And even just finding ways to perform online has been interesting. And that's why we're here to petition the Tolkien Estate to give all proceeds in the next decade

to a food bank in Los Angeles like we all did. I mean, honestly, the estate has so much money. They probably should. They could. They could probably fix everything. Yeah, it's wild that like I don't know like 20 people in this world could just fix it that's the part that really makes me feel insane

like wait you actually have enough money to end world hunger yeah like and then you just like choose every day to go not today no thank you maybe tomorrow not yet well what was it you guys probably talked about this a little bit last season George Lucas No, thank you. I'm not done. Maybe tomorrow. Not yet. Well, what was it?

You guys probably talked about this a little bit last season. George Lucas, when they bought Star Wars from him, Disney bought it. He gave all the money to charity. He could have given more. We didn't know that. Wait, did we? Someone did tell us this at some point. Yeah, they bought it from him from like four bill or something.

It was like, it was bills. It was Kill Bill volumes one and two. And he gave gave it all away which of course he could which yeah that's amazing wait four billion he gave four billion away yeah he whatever the figure was he gave it all away he didn't take any where did it go to who friends and family like george clooney style i give a richard kind a million dollars who did he give that money to friends he said he gave a million untaxable dollars to friends of his which is like 20 different friends crazy like what are the odds you're like i met george clooney in high school and we stayed friends and he gave me a million dollars i mean that's awesome that would be the coolest day ever yeah i mean no bad stories okay if a friend of yours gave me a million dollars i mean that's awesome that would be the coolest day ever

yeah i mean no bad stories okay if a friend of yours gave you a million dollars untaxed what would you spend it on oh property yeah yeah it would be it would be a quarter of a house i would own in los angeles california a quarter of a down payment. I think I would do a third into a house, a third into investments, and a third to a vacation and give my sister some money because, you know, she needs some. She's so nice and quiet.

Okay, I guess I'll give it to other people too. All right, let's shout out her social handles now too. She doesn't have any. Really? So is she happy? My sister's not on the internet. She now, too. She doesn't have any. Really? So is she happy? My sister's not on the internet. She's Bean's sister. She is a happy lady.

She's little. She loves Jesus. She's not on the internet. Little loves Jesus, not on the internet. The holy trinity of happiness. Do you feel like if you weren't on the internet, you would be sad you missed out on like being dead examples like you know i mean things like just weird i'd be so sad about missing out on being dead no lord i can't

imagine a world like that i'm sort of serious though like i'm sort of like i feel like i i like knowing all this dumb shit but are you on facebook no no me either and i don't miss it that's true i do not miss that you don't miss that but like the meme culture i think i do love me like wife guy i love my curvy wife cliff wife man that made me laugh so hard he has continued there's a video have you seen the video which one no he made a music video about liking women who are curvy. Music? It's bad.

And I loved it. Wow. Okay. And we're putting that in the show notes today and all proceeds from today's episode go to Curvy Wife Guys. Absolutely. That's what we're always... Just like no direction with the charity.

It's just going to whoever we name in the conversation. Whoever comes up, Nicole's sister, Lauren's dad, wife guy, curvy wife guy, Bean Dad. We're all giving it away. I'm fine with that except the Bean Dad. Bean Dad, who is a podcaster. So, you know, in our industry. I didn't explore his resume.

Me either. I just read the tweets and I was like, this man's unhinged. The interesting thing about the resume is that his co-host is Ken Jennings the Jeopardy guy yeah they've they've co-hosted a podcast for a long time wow and Ken Jennings defense of him may mean trouble in the future for like if Jennings might host Jeopardy one day it's all it's all very interesting who Who knows what's going to happen. Dang. But then that's an argument for all of us deleting Twitter.

Like, everything is up for debate at any point. You know, it's like, and I'm not railing against cancel culture. I'm saying. I'm sorry, is that Lauren Lafkiss or Mrs. B? That's actually a question people have had before. that's actually a question people have had before but i feel like it's it's just like why do we even allow for this to be a thing where we can all just like lose your life because of it it's like it's all crazy like it's a crazy look we if what if you just never typed on there and then you were bad and then you're i mean it's a kind of it's like a world where like we didn't

know what was going to happen with twitter and now it's like this free-for-all yeah i mean it is curious though that like younger people don't understand that if you post something on the internet it's there forever like we didn't know that we didn't know that or like it wasn't a thought in our heads but like kids now who post this wild shit like there's this white girl who said the n-word and everyone's like she was singing along but there was music in the background it was a hard r it was really wild but like no that wasn't a white girl nicole that was uh actress gina rodriguez i mean the line she picked was wild and then she just like kind of was like i did it gina that one knows oh no I didn't know about this

But like some kid in her school Released the video As soon as she got accepted from college And then I think she got rejected from that college And I was like yes my king Do it Well and that's the thing I mean that is good in a sense

I mean this is why I'm not saying I'm against cancel colch But I'm saying it's'm against cancel Colch. But I'm saying it's like, this lives forever. All of this stuff goes up forever. That's a little different because he took a video of someone else and then posted it. It wasn't on her social media. No, no, it was on her social media. Oh, okay, okay.

Oh, well, then that's like taking ownership of that. So she posted it. I guess he screen grabbed it and then was like, here you go, world. Totally. Yeah. Which is something Samwise Gamgee would never do to Frodo if Frodo said the N-word. Wow, Kevin. What a segue back to the thing we don't want to talk about. I know. I actually don't mean to segue you back. No, we do need to. We need to. Kevin, how did you get into Lord of the Rings? How did you become a fan of the French heels?

First of all, as the guest of your finale, I just want to congratulate you both on a long, hard-fought run this season. It has not been easy. You're clearly losing your minds. This is the final meltdown of 20 episodes and two seasons in a row getting into something that you have ambivalent to negative feelings about, which can't be easy.

Most of the time, the premise of these podcasts is it's something we kind of like. Like Doughboy's doing fast food and then like, oh, we hate fast food now because we have to eat it. In both these cases, it's something that you don't give a shit at all about and continue to deeply not give a shit about. So congrats on making wine out of water in this sense. Thank you. We're two little Jesuses. I know, just like your little sister. Yes, what's the plural of Jesus?

Is it Jesus? Jesus. Or the Trinity, yes. Oh, shit. Yeah, we can do that. There was a real answer to that question. Let's talk about the Christian symbolism in Lord of the Rings. Let's go character by character and name like

this one's like a Christ figure. This one's like Peter. This one's like Paul. Wait, is there actual similarities? There are. Well, Tolkien was Catholic and him and C.S. Lewis were bros. They were best buds. C.S. Lewis, the author behind The Lion,

the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The Chronicles of Nurnia. C.S. Lewis, the author behind Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe. The Chronicles of Nurnia. That's right. So yeah, I think there's some Christian stuff in there, but it's not like a straight up allegory like Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe is. So you kind of do have to stretch. I just, my memories as a kid is that Christians were into Lord of the Rings because it was the safe one because Harry Potter was so hot and everyone's mom

and dad hated Harry Potter because of witches, even though there was like a lot of witches in Narnia and also in Lord of the Rings, but that got the free pass for whatever reason. So Christians were drawn to it. So how did I get into it? Yeah. Yes. It was through the movies like i remember seeing the

trilogy midnight opening night the three consecutive years that came out so it's like 2001 2 and 3 so i was i was uh 11 12 and 13 for those who brought you my friends who uh i did have i said that so defensively my I have friends. Friends, Nicole. Excuse me. I don't mean to be haughty about it. But no, those were like such fun, formative movie memories. And this was before reserved seating. So you did like sit in line for a couple hours and like go get food and come back to get just the right seats.

And I have such nice memories of like it was formative and like not even like loving lord of the rings which i do love those movies but just like loving movies in general and like having fun fun with friends at a young age it was such a nice time i miss everything i know and it was in houston texas so tickets were like 8 50 for you know the opening night screening or it's probably less than that. It was probably like $7. But yeah, that's how I got into it. So I love the movies. I bought the DVDs with the extended editions

and watched all the special features and stuff. But I never read the books or anything. So I'm not like a huge book fan with those movies. I did read The Hobbit book, but did not finish The Hobbit movies. God bless you both for doing that for some reason. I can never get over the fact that- I liked those you like the hobbit movies i hate myself but yeah the first one was like my favorite one of the whole thing that we watched that's the

one that like sticks with me well because you saw a bunch of hobbits singing while making dinner and you're like why do this this is this for me finally i relate to these people yeah yeah never finish those and then i remember for christmas for this thing that uh we can talk about for like five minutes before we talk about whatever is i did get uh my mom got me the the cd box set in 2003 that it came in, the BBC adaptation. So I was listening to a lot of radio dramas at the time. As a kid, I grew up on this, listening to this Christian radio drama. Who showed that to you? It's called Adventures in Odyssey. Well, I was raised Christian. So it was like, that's just the media that was around.

And what was the drama that would happen on the show? On Adventures in Odyssey? Well, it took place in kind of like, it was a small town called Odyssey and it revolved around this old genteel man named Mr. Whitaker. And he would like teach kids Bible lessons. He was an inventor. So he had something called the imagination station you could go into and go into historical moments in the past and then find out like, oh, actually Abraham Lincoln was a Christian or whatever the case may be. Or go back to like old Bible stories.

And there's like slice of life stuff too and just kind of children's entertainment. I contend though that those, that drama is still well produced and there's some really good like voice talent on it. It sounds good. It was good. I listened back to it

because it's like, oh, this is probably shitty. And some of it's like super right wing conservative. It sounds good. It was good. I listened back to it because it's like, oh, this is probably shitty. And some of it's like super right wing conservative doctrinaire stuff. But then some of it's like, no, this is just like

a good radio show. So my mom bought me this Lord of the Rings box set based on my affinity for that one, I think. And it was a beautiful set.

Great gowns, beautiful gowns. And I think I listened to like, I gowns. And I think I listened to like, I will say though, I think I listened to like two or three of the CDs and then tapped out of it. I respect that. Same.

Thank you for respecting me. I mean, I will say I, you know, we listened to this first hour and it was kind of soothing. It was like, it made me think of sort of christmas time and like you know sitting by the fire i don't do this but like sitting by the fire listening you're painting a picture lauren what else do you do i think you do do that i think you sit by the fire and you listen to radio plays just to be super clear i don't do this but i do i it felt kind of like real like

peaceful like a picture like being a kid and finding it kind of like nostalgically pleasurable in the moment like you know what i mean like it had a sort of tone a warm tone to it that i liked um but i will say like having heard and watched this story told a hundred ways by now I was like I don't need to hear this like I listened to it but I was like I know I know I know what he did and I know it was just like

it is like a like a fifth guy retelling you the same event yeah like you were you weren't at this party let me tell you you're like I get it yeah you're just yeah i agree it put me to sleep several times it was really upsetting i mean i did start it at night time so it was night time out and then the voices were soft and yeah warm is a good way to describe them i did like how they did voices but honestly full disclosure i

couldn't finish it it was really upsetting to me and my homegirl okay like i didn't like it it was it was just too i think that's fair in your homegirl were you watching it listening to it with someone oh it's a meme oh i'm sorry see this is why i can't get off twitter online more you know that's right i know i need to be more online in 2021 but i listened to it i i decided to be really proactive and i put it on first thing when i woke up and while i was doing emails i know i know while i was like doing my emails i was listening to it and i was like i'm killing two birds with one stone i was like feeling really amazing i you know i uh and this might just be like a, a broader statement about like what radio dramas were or just my memory of it or nostalgia as a kid, but there's something

that felt so safe about it too. And I think why I connected to listening and then like making podcast stuff as an adult, because it did remind me of that feeling of like being a kid and having like either a walk man with like cassettes in it of these radio dramas or, or these CDs and just being like a small person in this huge world and having these people talking to your ears and all the theater of the mind stuff. It made, it made me feel safe as a child and even listening to it last night for this

podcast, it kind of made me feel safe again. child. And even listening to it last night for this podcast, it kind of made me feel safe again. I think in large part, it's a credit to just the voice actors. One of whom I'm sure you saw in the research was Ian Holm played Frodo, who played Bilbo in the movies. So there's a little connection.

And his voice is really great. Yeah. Well, let's jump into the Shirewire. We're going to get back to all this. Don't you fret. This is our news segment. And this is where everything goes down. So this is when you mix news about Lord of the Rings,

but also news about the cast of The Wire, like seeing what Idris Elba is up to, what's going on with Michael K. Williams. And there's a lot of crossover. So Peter Jackson explains the changes he made for Lord of the Rings 4K edition. Now, Peter Jackson and Warner Brothers have released new Lord of the Rings trilogy and Hobbit trilogy sets remastered for 4K UHD and Dolby Atmos. Do y'all have 4K capable TVs? Drop the specs. Who's 4K UHD Dolby Atmos. Do y'all have 4K capable TVs? Drop the specs.

Who's 4K UHD Dolby Atmos? Who's this? I don't know. I don't know. Well, 4K was a character played by Tony Hale on Toy Story 4. 4K? 4K.

You and the French dub, yes. So, I get it. 4K. I did not get that joke which is why because it was very easy to prepare why audience who might hear the word changes and think of george lucas's endless process of updating the star wars films jackson recorded a video explaining what exactly he had done to his ep his fantasy. He states, it was interesting going back and revisiting these films

because I realized how inconsistent they were and that's really due to how the Lord of the Rings trilogy was shot. So now he's telling us. Okay. I don't know. I had mixed feelings about this because I watched these videos too

because I did buy the 4K versions of these movies. Okay. Oh, you did? I did, yes. Each individual film in the original trilogy used a unique process despite the fact that they were all produced together and while all three were shot on 35 millimeter film Jackson completed the first movie with old-fashioned mechanical color timing the second and third films embraced more advanced

digital color timing and 10 years later the Hobbit trilogy was captured with 4k digital cameras and the aesthetic gaps between the two trilogies prompted the director to go back in the studio to make all the films look as if they were shot at the same time he says 4k hdr remastering successfully delivered that consistency that feels i i sort of do feel like i might have a problem with that yes well and it's not as egregious as the stuff that lucas did i'm sure you guys covered yeah but yeah but even watching watching little bits and pieces of the ones that i bought it does feel different in a way that i don't like and especially his like his statement about like we trying to unify it with the shitty hobbit ones no one liked it's like no right that seems weird

like i think one thing that we've appreciated in both of these series of star wars and this like the sort of hand made or like the feeling of it being real is like part of the good part well that was in and again i don't i don't mean to retread uh anything that you guys have talked about before but that was the whole thing yeah let's retry it again let's just for finale it's like a clip show but uh for with the hobbit ones it was made so under the gun and he was like losing his mind like peter peter jackson's whole thing was so interesting and there's like maybe a making of you guys watch where it's like they're shooting a fight scene and he doesn't even know what he's doing and he's like honest about it in the making of he's like we just like

no one knew what was going on and we had to shut it down so those were made like so much more quickly than the the first Lord of the Rings ones were so there's a lot more like

rubbery looking CGI and not as many miniatures and models and those things that are like detailed and beautiful to photograph that hold up so well

even like 20 years later imagine shooting a full ass fight scene and being like uh and go oh my god it was basically that it was it was so wild so so they shut it down and then yeah i don't yeah i don't like this idea of like trying to make the old ones look like the new ones i think it's bad because those new ones are kind of gross looking too yeah i mean some of the cgi i enjoyed since the hobbit ones were my favorite but like like there was that big like monster who

found the bridge no the one the big ogre kind of guy who was like really huge yeah and like fell on the bridge i don't know got hit in the head or something and i like looked really cool but like it's really fake looking but okay well Peter Jackson said visual effects technology has advanced a lot in the last 20 years and when they became ultra crisp do the New Zealand accent visual effects technology

that was nice I think you should put that on your special skills on your resume Excel word. I would never be able to do it. Peter Jackson's accent. When they became ultra crisp and sharp in the 4K process, we realized some of the shots weren't holding up too well,

so we got the opportunity to go back and paint out imperfections. And the one thing Jackson does seem to have in common with George Lucas is seeing his saga as one giant story. The director doesn't regard the Hobbit films as some lark. They're the preamble to the beloved Lord of the Rings trilogy. Now for the first time on 4K, they feel like one big long film telling the same story. No, boo.

Okay. I hate that shit. Sure. That's like when TV showrunners say, we're telling an 18 part movie here. It's like, no, you're not. It's a tv show and these were two separately made trilogies don't bullshit us on this peter yeah buddy he seems like a broken man by the way if you watch if you watch the video where he's saying the quote

that lauren just read you think he's broken i think something is wrong with him now or just something inside of him that was once alive is now dead unfortunately he made the longest movies in america like maybe there's something about like re-watching them that like made him understand that they were like you know too long and stuff and he was like at least let's make them look the same yeah i know that's exactly the energy he has lauren it's just like this exhaust this exhaustion with it this like weariness like he's like he's carrying the ring of these movies in his little pocket this whole time it must be a big weight his career is so interesting too because he like he did the lord of the rings movies then he did king kong and then

that lovely bones movie remember. Remember Ryan Gosling? Oh, yeah. Was it Ryan Gosling? Or no, it was... No, it was Saoirse Ronan. Yeah. It was Saoirse Ronan. It was supposed to be Ryan Gosling.

I've never seen it. Ryan Gosling gained a bunch of weight to play the role. And then they were like, no, never mind. Really? I'd be so angry. That would be really annoying. I read that book, so i was really excited about that movie but it's a really really creepy story and i read it when i was like younger it's about a girl

who gets like kidnapped by her neighbor and like kept in a hole and like killed and see that's truly too much work that's like room i was watching room and i was like who has the time to keep someone hostage like not to be rude, but, like, seems like a lot of fucking work that I don't want to do. The story of that guy in Ohio who did that with, like, three or four women over the course of their lives. Like, he kidnapped them.

This is what, like, Kimmy Schmidt, like, the opening is kind of based on. They were, like, three teenagers that he, like, took and took and like kept in this house and meanwhile he was a school bus driver living his life and he had a daughter who was the same age as them and like he would tell them like oh i have puppies you want to come see them and like he would take them in the house and then never let them out and then have babies with some of them which is rape and horrible stuff.

I just like, I do not get it. Like I forget to like walk my dog sometimes. Like I would forget to feed my prisoner. Like it would just be too much work. I couldn't be held responsible. I can't wait for this podcast episode to be used as admissible evidence and like a lawsuit against Nicole.

Like see, she said she wouldn't do it. So why would she? It's not in her personality. I just couldn't do it. Do you think you guys could hold somebody hostage? No. Be honest.

I feel so bad. I would feel really bad. But I think responsibility-wise I could handle it. Like, I think I could. So do I, actually. About Lauren, not about me.

Well, I'd remember to feed them, but I think part of their whole process of someone who like the thought process of someone who wants to do that is they want to forget to feed them. Sometimes it's kind of the fun of it. You know, who never forget to feed his little hobbits. Gandalf.

Good segue. Wait, we should take a break. Okay. we should take a break okay yeah now we're back oh boy oh boy so this 1981 radio drama was written by

Brian Sibley and Michael Bakewell directed by Jane Morgan. Yes, and Penny Leisker? Leicester? Women doing it for themselves even in 1981 when it was illegal for a woman to

write a radio drama. That was illegal in the UK. That was illegal, but two women could direct a radio drama. Yes, two women. Not just one. Oh, that's right. It was narrated by Gerard Murphy, and it was released March 8th through August 30th, 1981. So do we want to look at some of this trivia about it first?

Yes! Oh, I love trivia. Let's do it. Okay, so Peter Woodthorpe, who played Gollum in Smeagol, and Michael Graham Cox, who played Boromir, previously voiced the same roles in Ralph Bakshi's animated version. So there's tons of, these people got tons of work from this franchise. Yeah, just reusing people. The thing I was blown away by while re-listening to it, because I probably saw Fellowship of the Ring the most out of those movies.

And then I saw the other ones a bunch of times as well. But there's things that are just kind of like lodged in my brain that happens after you see a movie so many times. And I was so surprised

at how similar the voices were in this BBC drama to what ended up being the final actors and voices in the movie. It's like Peter Jackson cast using the comps of the radio drama. Because the guy playing Gandalf does sound like McKellen and the guy playing Frodo does sound like little Elijah Wood.

Well, and he was really inspired by the animated series too. So it's like, or the movies. Wow, Lauren. Good memory. I remembered something. But you know what's great is like when as soon as this record is done you can dump it all out of your head i mean never think about it or anything the joy i feel that we will both have in our hearts when this episode ends i'm so excited to be done with this. I am so excited to never think about Lord of the Rings again. I didn't care to begin with.

I tried to care. Maybe the third episode, I was like, I'm going to go with it in open mind. And I was like, no, this is not for me. So this is ranking worse for you guys than the Star Wars experience as well. Oh, absolutely. Okay.

Because at least you get Baby Yoda out of Star Wars, right? Yeah, we liked a lot of later Star Wars stuff too. Like surprisingly, we would find things that we enjoyed. And plus it's like, each one is so different.

And they're really light. But Kevin, I feel like you're the perfect guest for this episode because we can be really honest with you. Like if it was somebody that we didn't really know, we'd have to be like, so we care right like you know and so it's kind

of fun to be no no we're friends here and we're co-workers and you know we're in the break room of the head gum offices right now just shooting the shit about how hard it is to be a podcaster in 2021 it really is are you doing more inside? I really love that show. Not to my knowledge. We'll see. We'll see if the network picks more up. Well, it's really good. They should.

I thought it was really good. Yeah, they should. Hey, Ferris, can you make an mp3 of this clip and then just send it direct to Jake, Amir, and Marty? I listen to every episode and I thought it was

really interesting and really great. Yeah, I love... Well, both of you were guests on it in such a delightful little chat. I'm sorry, I didn't, I haven't listened to it. I don't like podcasts. No, cool.

I know, you went on about that in length in your episode. I like, I don't know what it is. I don't like disembodied voices, just like a voice. I need them. To contextualize it, like after my surgery, there was contextualize it like after my surgery there was an old lady next to me and there was a curtain between us and she was fucking yammering on and on and on and I was like coming off

from anesthesia and it was like making me sick to not be able to see her face I was like I don't like this old voice and I can't see her old face so I think that's why I don't like podcasts so you really hated the radio play. Yeah. One man's theater in the mind is another woman's

hell on earth. Yeah, it was really upsetting. I think we found newcomer season three is y'all go through all 800 episodes of WTF with Mark Merritt. Including ones that y'all have been on, I guess.

I couldn't do it. But, see, I like the distant buddy voice. I almost feel like I need it all the time. Like, when I am just walking around my house, like, doing nothing, I'm like, I gotta put pockets. I just like to have someone always talking.

Oh, yeah. No, I always have headphones around my neck. Or either they're on my little ears or on my neck about to be on my little ears for whatever the task is at hand. It's always ready to go. And yes, I'm not good with silence. I need to. I have to remind myself like when I lived in New York, I would have to remind myself to listen to music. So I wasn't like this weird little freak on the train.

I have to remind myself to listen to music, too, just to like mix it up from the voices I always hear I didn't mean that in a strange way from the voices I always hear no no I get it the crazy voices in your head wait so Nicole do you not enjoy animation like animated movies or TV because those are in a way disembodied voices

correct I like some and I cannot get into others I feel like the ones that are flat, I don't like. If that makes sense. Flat. Like 2D animation versus computer animation. Yeah, I prefer Pixar.

Okay. Over like, I don't think I can sit and watch Snow White right now. Sure. Well, that movie's also like 80 years old, so maybe there are other issues with that. Yeah, I truly could have picked a more current one. It's either Snow White or Inside Out. That's the spectrum.

Did you guys see Soul? Yes, I was about to ask that. I watched it last night. I really liked it. I thought it was so cute. I loved it. And 20 minutes into it, I turned to my friend and said I cannot imagine a child enjoying this on any level

it's so adult but you know what I loved that kids also love I really loved Trolls World Tour I thought it was hilarious Trolls World Tour was so funny also the music was great I got up and danced in my living room I was like this is good

Mike was like on his computer like what the first five minutes I was cackling i was like this is good mike was like on his computer like what like the first five minutes i was cackling i was like this is fucking hilarious like this is a great movie i paid 20 and i was happy i also i have you seen spies in disguise it's a will smith cartoon where he's a spy who gets turned into a pigeon i say that say the title again. Spies in Disguise. Okay, now say it again. Spies in Disguise. Spies in... Disguise.

No. No. I never got it. And that's the kind of multi-layered storytelling you can expect from animation it took me a long time even with you repeating it and then i needed you to say it it never crossed my mind also i laughed so hard i saw it in theaters on a date we had both eaten mushrooms and that's fun i laughed awesome i was laughing so hard like harder than all the children and like some of

the children were like looking back at me and I at one point threw up my hands and I said I'm having a great time that's amazing spies in disguise spies in disguise now I can only hear it like that yeah it's uh Will Smith Tom Hollandand little spiderman boy i really enjoyed it yeah i'll watch it i do i do like cartoons and that's the kind of theatrical experience we're being deprived of right now is having a full-grown adult woman scream laughing i need that next to you i i do really miss experiences like that. Me too. Well, let's drive to Arizona and have one. Oh my God.

Are theaters open? I guess everything. It's so nuts that like all the states are like, we're going to do whatever the fuck we want. It's truly insane. It makes no sense. It's not good. But in Arizona,

I know this because a friend of mine and her family did it during the holiday. You can rent out a whole theater for like a hundred bucks. Just a hundred dollars. Watch whatever you want. Yeah. I think Mitch did this. He talked about it on Doughboys. I guess we're in- In Boston?

Yeah, in Massachusetts, he could do this as well. And he rented out a theater for a few friends. It was like a hundred dollars. Yeah. Wait, what are we all doing? I know. It sounds really fun. Yeah.

The Alma Draf draft house chain is starting to do that there's one downtown and i imagine it'll be available to do that when theaters come back it's a good way to keep the theaters in business yeah i think it's i think it's really smart i'm gonna do and throw a rowdy little women screening when we're allowed to i mean it was always screaming the best when you would go to the theater and you're the only one there. And so you paid $10, well now like $15, $20 to be alone in a huge space and watch it. I did that for Paddington 2 and it was amazing. I was the only person there and it was like-

I did it four times for Paddington 2. You were alone every time? No, not every time, but I saw it like seven times. I've never seen padding oh my god oh my god you need to see the paddington movies newcomer season three bonus episode you have to watch them those are like my favorite movies and kevin too they're so good i know what a deep connection it's yeah it's very very sweet but i don't know if you don't like animation he's animated animated kind of. Is it fun?

It's only one character's animated. Mm-hmm. That's fair. And he looks real. He's a little 3D, right? Yeah, he's a little 3D bear boy. So it'll be palatable to your sensory experience. Okay, okay. I think I could do it.

Although if you don't enjoy it, it will hurt Lauren and Mai's feelings. You can't tell. I probably will enjoy it. It'll be a personal attack yeah I think you guys seem to really truly love it so I think I think I'll like it I'm gonna watch it oh good you have to watch both

of them but honestly if you're only gonna watch one watch number two what no I couldn't well then watch both yeah gotta go one and two I think it's good for the payoffs with Mr. Brown or maybe I'll start with two and then watch one I am watching Real Housewives of Potomac backwards

I started season five for well because we started season five because it was current and then I was like ooh let's go to four so then we watched four

and then I was like ooh let's go to three even though we were halfway through two it's my fault and I just went too deep in it to change it now

it's kind of fun though with Real Housewives because like you see their faces change as you go back in time. Like they have, especially on like OC, when they show flashbacks to like the first season, everyone has a completely different head. I mean, it is truly outstanding.

Do you watch Potomac? I started watching Potomac, but i didn't stick with it but i i have heard it's really good and then i need to get back fantastic karen huger's wigs evolution is just an incredible journey in itself i do she was my favorite character um yeah the the new salt lake city one is the actual oh boy best kevin do you watch the real housewives no but now i'm thinking i need to start a competing podcast there is a woman who is married to her grandfather her step-grandfather awesome and style wait morgan freeman did that uh he did a weird thing with his grandchild look it up listeners i thought you said mormon style morgan Okay, we're going to have to look into this. Wait.

This woman, her grandma was married to a man who was her step grandpa. And she was dying and she said she wanted one of her younger relatives to take care of him. Isn't that the wildest thing you've ever heard? This one did. And she's been married to him for years. And I don't know if she's like actually happy about it. And I think she's embezzling from her church because her clothes are too expensive. Something weird is happening there.

Yeah. You know, it's easy for us to judge at a distance when we're not in the situation. Hey, that's the whole point of TV. Yeah. It's judgment. Yeah. I'm watching. I'm judging. That's the whole point of TV?

Yes. I've been doing it'm judging. That's the whole point of TV? Yes. I've been doing it wrong. Oh, my God. Well, let me give you another little bit of trivia about this radio play. Yeah, please give us the trivia, Lauren. Okay, so due to the loss of the 1956 series, no recordings are known to have survived, and the comparably lower quality of Mind's Eye or Mind's Eye 1979 series.

This 1981 radio adaption is considered to be the most popular of the three radio plays. That's cool trivia. Now, there are a handful of discrepancies from the book within it. And I know that pissed off both of you as longtime fans. Absolutely. How dare you deviate

from the source material? The Tolkien estate has beautiful books. I don't know. How many you deviate from the source material? The Tolkien estate, you know, has beautiful books. I don't know. How many books did he write? A bunch. You know, and I'm honored to be your final guest. You know who you should have had as your final guest? Who?

If you could have made it happen. Who? Stephen Tyrone Colbert. He is a Tolkien nut. We did hear that he loves it. We did hear it. Yeah. When his father and his two brothers

passed away in a plane crash when he was a young child, he delved into a bunch of fantasy books, including Lord of the Rings, and now he's like a scholar in it. And he has a little cameo in one of the Hobbit movies, too. I think we knew that.

We did know that. We did know that. We caught that. But that was pretty shocking. That's cool. How do we get into a movie by being a fan like what do what do we what do i have to do it's hard you just you have to start a podcast about it three years before there's a revival on netflix this is why

we do tyler perry next because he always has something going and then we you know start talking about it and if you do tyler perry for three, you will be the stars of a new Tyler Perry show that goes for like 140 episodes. Honestly, I want it. It's not going to be hard. I want it. I want it. I want it for you.

He's strangely like the most, and there's so much interesting stuff with him, all his Christian ties and like him being bros with Joel Osteen, but also Carl Lentz, the disgraced Hillsong pastor that used to be bros with Bieber and had a falling out. There's so much to unpack with him. That would be so cool.

Oh, interesting. Why do you know so much about Tyler Perry? Because he's a fascinating figure in the culture, I guess. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. He's interesting. I saw those revenge body pics he was posting, post his workout. Oh my God, I didn't see that.

Did you guys see them? He did. No. People were thirsting. They were. They were like, ooh, that can't be Tyler Perry. You're going to have to limit, it cannot be a comprehensive season three.

You will be doing this until 2029. We would never stop. It would be. You just got to do Medea's big boo Halloween or whatever it's called. i think i saw boo too and there's a scene where medea medea falls down the stairs and it's the hardest i've ever laughed in a theater like fully sober i need that and i think that's the only one i've seen and there's a fantastic scene from why did i, I think, where a woman hits

her husband on the head with a glass at a table where everyone's at dinner, and nobody responds to this man getting hit in the head with a glass. The conversation just truly carries on, and I was like, wait, what? I mean, I vote for Tyler Perry. These movies are incredible.

There's so much to explore. Yeah, there's a lot that i mean is is there anything that comes close as far as another candidate for s3 marvel marvel and look no we we want to live you know like we yes yeah have you know dreams like we want to be alive i feel like if we have to watch 20 marvel films one a week for the next five months, I don't know what will happen. I mean, I think it would be better than Lord of the Rings.

I can deal with superhero shit. Like, I love X-Men. So, like, I think I could deal with it. You love X-Men. This is surprising. Love X-Men. Wow. I have seen all the X-Men movies, is surprising. Love X-Men. Wow. I've seen all the X-Men movies,

even though most of them are terrible. Yeah. The last one was so bad. And there's more variance in the Marvel stuff that I guess would be interesting. Yeah, that would be nice. And you would love probably Thor Ragnarok and Black Panther

and all those. I've seen Black Panther. And I've seen Ant-Man. Mm-hmm. I saw the one with Brie Larson. That's Marvel, right? Oh, Captain Marvel, yeah. I've never seen that one.

I was called Captain Marvel. I'm like, that's Marvel, right? It's a DC movie. Okay, and then anything else? We could just do superheroes and then have it be Marvel and DC. Every superhero movie ever made. So 29 Batman movies, 14 Superman.

What if we did best of the best superheroes? Yeah. Highest rated superhero movies that people love. Not the ones that tanked and everyone's like, this one sucks. I want to watch Kazam. Oh yeah, Kazam. There's the Green Hornet movies that are bad, right? tanked and everyone's like this one sucks i don't i want to watch like uh oh yeah kazam there's that the green hornet movies that are bad right people don't like them i've never seen them as spawn is

he a superhero who spawn spawn is uh yeah he's a comic book hero i guess we should aggregate a bunch of superhero movies if we're gonna do as opposed to doing like the marvel universe yeah i mean we do superheroes we should do that. Both of you are in charge of this. You started this episode by saying the assignment we got. I'm like, who's giving you this? As far as I understand about this operation, it is a closed loop system. It is self-sustaining.

It is, you know, there is, I think we walked into star wars and we were like yes star wars and then as you say you know we have producers who help uh decide what we'll watch you know one order and then with this we were like tyler perry and then we're like no it's gonna be lord of the rings but okay and then we're doing it you know so it's like i'm and i'm not mad at that that's a it makes a lot of sense everyone loves lord of the rings and everyone's seen it and it's like totally huge and we hadn't seen it and it's like yeah that's like a huge spot that we can film but you know we don't control much about it besides how we perceive it and talk about it so yeah you know that's that's a good

thing i think if it was up to us yeah it's a podcast that happens to the host but if it was up to us we just wouldn't do it like i don't want to i can't think of what we should do next we don't know anything about it that's part of the problem is that we don't know what we would be expected to do so then someone has to tell us what to do. Right. And it also depends on like what the conceit of the show is. If like part of it is the hook of the premise is the inevitable delirium that the exhaustion of this dumb shit that you have to talk about every week breeds. Or if it's like, oh, it's interesting because we've never seen it. Because then you could do rat-a-tat-tat.

You could do like little mini seasons within the season of like, neither of us have seen this trilogy of movies let's just do these three and we don't need to do like an ancillary novelization of a prequel of it like you can just stick it to whatever the main movies are whatever that thing is you could do that we'd love we'd love your input this is really helpful i'm here to help i want to help you guys well did you ever go crazy doing gilmore guys because you watched every single episode how many are there like 400 143 why do i think there were 400 but 143 is a lot wait how many did you say 40 400 400 oh my god no no it's 143 yeah, a little bit by the end. But even then, that was like a continuing story.

Unlike this, where it is like with Lord of the Rings, it's like the same story five times. Yeah, just over and over and over and over again. And that was like concise and episodic. But yeah, there was definitely some exhaustion that sunk in by the end of it, for sure. Yeah. So it is just an inevitability and maybe

part of the appeal yeah yeah i think so i think that is part of it i mean i think for people who listen to this they're part of it is enjoying us going a little nuts listening well you know doing a lot of stuff but i do think there is that portion of people who are like if you're not going to give it all you've got, why are you? And I'm like, you don't understand. I've done a couple of those tweets that are like, if you're going to,

you have to watch the movie to talk about the movie. And I'm like, I tried. I don't know what to tell you. This is not for you. If you don't get how we're going to talk about it. Do you have a good sense of like what the split is of listeners who are just here for the laughs and goofs and giggles versus like Tolkien nuts?

I think it's mostly giggles. Yeah. Okay. And I think it's like one or two Tolkien heads. Then they'll follow you into the depths of Moria if you go there, friends. They'll follow you to Mount Doom and back with whatever you pick for season three. It's so wild that there's a Mount Doom in here and then like everything else has a wild name.

Like Isengard. Minas Tirith and then Mount Doom. Yeah. It's so wild. By the end, he's like, ah, Doom Mountain, I'm sure. It's like a rollercoaster name. So my pitch for season three

is that you maximize your potential enjoyment. And I think Tyler Perry is getting it that more more and that'll be a fun new flavor i'm really voting 10 episodes tyler perry yeah not 20 we do 10 10 and then just have fun have a cute little time a little palate cleanser before we get back into the nerd shit and you call it tyler perry's house of pod and that's the name of the season that's funny that works for me you cover all his weird conservative stuff it's so interesting because so many of them are just morality plays where the ethic is like well you shouldn't have had premarital sex or whatever that's interesting i really don't know i i've only i've maybe seen a like clip here and there of certain things that he's done but i don't really know i think i've seen three movies you have to watch acrimony whether we cover it or not you have to listen i it is on my paper of things i want to watch and i need to

watch it really one of the wildest rides you'll ever go on she knocks down a whole ass trailer with a car it's it's just like i'm like that sentence? It's just, it's one of the best things I've ever seen. It's going to be so Gonzo. You'll have such fun. I love it. I love it. And no, no,

these and thousand hobbits and feats and lightsabers. You can leave it on the past where it belongs. I'd love to. Thank you. I'd love to never think of a hobbit again. I'm here to free you both. You understand? Like I'm here to just let you thrive.

Like Nicole, like in sort of looking back at this, like do you, what do you, what is your overall feeling of having done this? Like, do you feel like there's some value that now you know what all of it is? Or are you kind of like,

it would have been fine if I never did. I think the best way to articulate this is i feel pretty indifferent about doing it i know as much about lord of the rings as i knew about star wars when i began star wars for whatever reason oh this this won't stick in my brain like i just i know so little and I've seen so much, which is like confusing. Cause we will watch the cartoons and I'd be like, I know I saw this already.

It seems so familiar, but what am I watching? I, I bet you I could turn on Lord of the Rings right now and be like, I don't, I don't remember any of this. How do you feel Lauren? I feel there's a part of me that's just glad to know now

because I've spent so long being like, you know, almost smug that I've never seen it. And now I'm like, okay, I know. And now I've seen it and I watched all of it. And I know that it's not my genre. Like it's not, I will not naturally want to turn this on. But I also know that like my taste isn't like perfect like i excitedly watch teen mom 2 like it's like i have for one night and not talking about it for 20 weeks though well yeah well yeah but like that's

part of it the burnout is real because i do think if i just watched the movies if if it had stopped there i probably would have been like i think i kind of like some of it like i think i but then getting so deep into it is is really hard for me because there's not a lot of things that i even do that with in general like i'm not really like that with my passions where i'll be like i have to read every single thing about this topic or like whatever so it feels like a lot for my brain but i'm so like i'm i'm kind of like hey now i can now i know and i'll never ever ever look back you know what were the highlights what were the best parts of this experience for both of y'all like what even something lauren you talked about how you actually kind of like the hobbit movies. Was there anything like that for you, Nicole, where it's like, oh, that was kind of fun?

I liked the fan fiction that we wrote. Oh, was it hot? Yeah, a little bit. A little. A little. And Lauren's, I think Frodo fucks that big old spider, which is fun. And there's stripping in the second one. Let's see. did I like genuinely like

oh Dungeons and Dragons I fucking loved playing Dungeons and Dragons yeah cause it's just improv D&D is just like nerd improv we're like we love that one for some reason I don't know why but it truly was the best

and we were good at it that was really fun though and really surprising and i think that that was something i'd be open to doing more of yeah i like dungeons well people are like do a full season of it i was like i don't think i'd enjoy it like i think i would hate it this is that's one of the things it's like there's something about investigating something too much and then you start to get mad at it. Yes. It takes away the joy. And I mean, that has happened to me before.

Like I did my podcast Raised by TV with John Gabrus and it was really fun. But then there were certain things that I was like, I don't like now I don't want to watch Saved by the Bell anymore. But I used to turn that on as like comfort TV. And I'm like, I just. Yeah. No, I feel that way about Gilmore too. I don't want to watch Saved by the Bell anymore, but I used to turn that on as like comfort TV. And now I'm like, I just... Yeah, no, I feel that way about Gilmore too. I don't watch any of those. You can just like burn it out in your head

and that's kind of a bummer. And so that's my definite fear with doing American Girls because it's so happy and like it just feels good to me and I don't want to, you know, ruin that. That's why Tyler Perry is in the exact sweet spot. There's not like an insane fandom of loyalty that's around it that's going to Perry is in the exact sweet spot there's not like yeah an insane fandom of loyalty that that's around it that's gonna get in your dms and be like why didn't you talk about this part of Madea's costume so like it'll be casual it'll be gonzo it'll be great I do think

that would be really fun well I do think we're at the end of our episode. We have wrapped up 20 episodes about Lord of the Rings. Wow, we did it, Jo. We did it, Jo. And Kevin, thank you so much for being here with us. Do you have anything you would like to plug? What an honor. I'm so delighted. I think both of y'all are so funny.

And I did not know this was the finale of the show. And wish I would have prepared something a little more, like a fitting send-off. You're perfect. Yeah, you're perfect the way you are. Do you have anything you a fitting send off you're perfect yeah you're perfect the way you are do you have any anything you want to plug while you're here uh yeah listen to good christian fun a podcast i also do on head gum network so we're you know sister shows and then uh i could plug the the bake shop i could do that yes go to kevinbakenonshop.com, spelled B-A-K-I-N.

I didn't know you had a website. Yeah, order some cookies and all the proceeds go to the SELA Neighborhood Homeless Coalition. You started a whole business? Well, it's like a charity. It's like a fundraiser thing. But that's so cool. Slash business, yeah. Wait, you're so cool.

You can order cookies. And the cookies are really good. Mm-hmm. B-A-K-I-N. B-A-K-I-N. B-A-K-I-N. It took me to, it said I can't get there. Shop.com. Kevin Bacon shop.com.

Oh, shop.com. And it's just in LA County right now. Couldn't get there because I wasn't typing in the right thing. And the cookies are really delicious. So everyone needs to get some. Lauren's had some, yes. They're super good this is so cute now did you make this website or you hire somebody to do this this is very impressive oh

yeah i just did it through squarespace which has easy to use templates uh created by world-class designers 24 7 customer support uh award-winning i think and um yeah they're great it honestly looks very professional so this is a good ad for Squarespace. Yeah. My website is bad and people get mad about it. They get mad about it. Yeah. They're like, I hate your website.

It is hard to read. And you know, that's just what it is. Whatever. Which is the best cookie? Oh, I don't know. I mean, people like the peanut butter chocolate chip pretzel one I'm just gonna get them all The one that's called Pretzeli Sullen Burger

Nicole, I'll drop off a little bag for you Yeah, but it's nice to like donate stuff It is nice to donate, but Those look good Either way And this goes, and I'm donating Yes At Descartes

Okay, they have great names Yeah, there's this Cinemancia Nixon Nicole Richai Fascinating. Add to cart. Okay, they have great names. Yeah, there's this- Cinnamontia Nixon. Mm-hmm. Nicole Richai. James Brown. That one I didn't get until I got down to Cinnamontia- How do you say it?

I think Nicole's speaking in tongues like her little sister does. Cinnamontia- Wait, I don't know why I can't say it. Cinnamontia Nixon. Cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin-cin- Yeah, but I didn't understand that it was a play on people's words. Wait, who's Pretzel, Pretzeli Sullenberg? Sully Sullenberg was that pilot who landed in the Hudson. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Miracle on the Hudson River. Wait, you film starring Tom Hanks. You only deliver locally?

Currently. I'm going to ship soon. But yeah, you're in L.A. County, right? No, I'm in Utah. I'm kidding. Is that true? No. I'm in L ship soon. But yeah, you're in LA County, right? No, I'm in Utah. I'm kidding. Is that true? No. I'm in LA.

2021. Nicole Byer pivots to Mormonism. She moved to Utah. Yeah. Well, it's one step closer to Atlanta. When do I get my cookies? I just completed my order. You just did it?

Wait, did you just do it? Hey, there it is. I just saw it. Where are my cookies? Give me my cookies. Give me my cookies. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What a generous order.

Well, you'll get them this week. Great. Do you make them? When does this podcast come out? Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oh, God. Well, you won't get them by the time this podcast comes out.

Dang. This podcast comes out tomorrow. We are under a time crunch. Do you understand? Okay, we need to read our Battle of the Five Stars segment. This is where we read your five-star reviews, so leave a review, and maybe next season we'll read it on air.

What a dream, by then she said on Apple Podcasts. I stumbled upon this podcast, and since I'm a fan of both these ladies as well as the material they are covering, I decided to give it a go, and I'm so glad did i have been a huge lord of the rings tolkien fan pretty much my entire life and the animated hobbit film was my favorite movie as a kid i've read almost all the tolkien's books i even have a children's book for my son that's about jr tolkien's early life what i appreciate most about this podcast that the ladies are actually trying

you can tell that they aren't just there to fund the material and i really appreciate that also you make lovely fan fix thank you well thanks then she said thank you so much and i appreciate you seeing that we are trying because that has been we have tried very very hard and we've tried very hard we've done it we achieved the goal i love it i love a five-star review where the highlight is, they're trying. I appreciate this person seeing that we're trying. Yeah. Because this has been an uphill, not really uphill,

like a slight incline of a journey, you know? You're like kind of winded and you're like, should I be? You know? Yes, exactly. We did it. I feel really proud of us. Nicole and Lauren are getting on a boat and

sailing off to the gray havens now yes i get that that happened at the end yeah and i'm on the dog with the other the other yep nicole's clearly a scholar and i could play you know you know one of my original pitches for this was um i talking to your producer. I was like, we could do the music of the movies because I think the music is so good. I could play you guys off for your final episode. On what? What do you have? A ukulele? A piano? I got a little

piano right here. I could play one of the little themes as like a fond farewell. Are you a great pianist? Yeah. No, but I can play a little bit. Wait, but I can play a little bit I don't should I get a piano yes

that's gonna be your 2021 thing I actually have a keyboard and I started learning and it was really fun and then I just stopped and I want to do it again no keep going

you know you know what my entryway into it was Lauren is learning TV theme songs when I was like a little kid that's a great idea for me so like learning like facts of life

or growing pains I need that from like 20 years ago but yeah yeah but yeah but then you you learn how to play them and so i love that maybe i will get a keyboard try it yeah something to do where would i put it you'll find a way this doesn't take up too much boy is it an upper is it an electric piano or a keyboard it's it's an electric oh oh it's a it's a keyboard it's an electric keyboard but it has the weighted keys so it has a nice touch to it that's what mine is i think what i want to know is is it like a board that you put on like a little x thingy

or is it like a piano where like everything is built together does that make sense is it no it totally does no it it comes apart but it is pretty much put together. Okay. But it basically stays together the whole time. Do you know the Charlie Brown theme song? Oh, sure. Yeah. I want that, please. The...

Uh-huh. Oh! is this a good good way to end the lord of the rings season of newcomers is just playing charlie brown that makes so much sense it made me really happy oh good i was really bopping along i loved it Charlie Brown for season four of Newcomers Do you want to play a little Lord of the Rings as we fade out? Sure, as we fade out, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, I'll get the mic a little bit closer to the keys so we can do that Okay, and you guys can sing, I know you know the words to this song

Yes, I know the words to this song yes i know the words to the lord of the rings music i do here we go here we go That was nice. Magical. No, it was nice. Magical. No, it was beautiful. What movie was that from? The first, second, third? All of them. Oh.

The original trilogy. That was nice. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Kevin. This was delightful. Thanks for having me, Nicole and Lauren. What a treat. We did it.

We did it. That's it. Toodle-oo. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.