Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Avengers: Infinity War (w/ Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Well, well, well - if it isn't last season's Newcomers host Gabrus, reunited with Lauren and Nicole once again, not unlike the way the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy join forces in this week's MCU installment. We totally planned it that way! Join us, and them, as they fight to protect all the Infinity Stones (not unlike Croc Jibbitz) from the evil grasp of evil Thanos. Next week's movie: Captain Marvel (2019) Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. There was an idea. To bring together a group of remarkable people. To see if we could become something more. So when they needed us, we could fight the battles. That they never could. In time, you will know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail all the same. Dread it.

Run from it. Destiny still arrives. Evacuate the city. Engage all defenses. And get this man a shield. Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe. But this does put a smile on my face. Who the hell are you guys? Wow. This is another episode of Newcomers. I simply can't believe it.

Marvel. Marvel, Marvel, Marvel. This is the 15th episode of our fifth season. I feel like I've been watching these movies for a fucking year. They're so long. We have been. It's been a very long time. I'm Lauren Lapkus.

I'm Nicole Byer. We're doing 20 episodes this season. It won't cover everything in the franchise, but if we did that, we'd be here all of our lives. We can't do that. We can't do that. That's terrible. Today we're discussing the third Avengers movie, Avengers Infinity War 2018. I got really confused in the beginning because I was like, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Am I watching the wrong one? I got scared I was

watching the wrong one because at one point they said Endgame and I went, oh fuck, is this Endgame? And it's pretty deep in the movie. And I was like, no. I know. I literally was like, check and make sure. Got scared. Well, Infinity War is available with a subscription to Disney+. You can watch it for a fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, Vudu. We're going to spoil the whole fucking thing.

Yeah, we are. We're going to tell you every little thing that happens. And we're so excited for our guest today, John Gabrus. I don't say John, okay? And I don't feel right when I say John. It's weird. And I'm going to tell you about this man before he speaks. He's a comedian and actor that you've heard on Comedy Bang Bang, High and Mighty, his

fabulous podcast here on HeadGum, and right here on last year's season of Newcomers Fast and the Furious. Fast and Furious. What? Fast and the Furious. Fast and Furious. What? Fast and the Furious? Fast and Furious. Fast and the Furious. Filling in for me.

I wasn't here, so I don't know what it's called. I was there, and I'm still not sure. The Fast Franchise. Or the Fast Saga, whatever you guys want. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Did you not get my notes? Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. He also has a new scripted series premiering in July on HeadGum called Corked. And he also has a new show coming out later. What was that called? It's called 101 Places to Party Before You Die. That looks like so much fun. It was so much fun.

I have no idea if it'll translate for the audience, but it was one of the best. I'm sure it will. It was hands down the best job I've ever had. I don't give a fuck if people don't like it. It's you and Adam Pally traveling around doing fun shit, like getting drunk in different cities and whatnot. Correct.

Yeah, that sounds great. It's right there in the title. It's not that deep. Would you expect something, a deep exploration of society from me and Pally? Yeah. I would love it if you got wasted and interviewed people of the town and be like, how was the Alamo? I don't fucking know.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's something interesting. Interviewing the people about how the Alamo was. That's a good idea. Ask Pee Wee Herman. Well, thanks for being here today.

We're very excited to talk about Infinity War with you. Well, thanks for being here today. We're very excited to talk about Infinity War with you. I, too, checked my email three times before I settled down to watch this movie because I'm like, if I accidentally watch the wrong two-and-a-half-hour brick of Avengers, I'm going to swallow a fucking bullet. I know. Luckily, I watched the right one. You guys started saying Endgame.

I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, no. Oh, no. Yeah. It's a like the two movies together are like a six hour brick where, you know, little tiny plot moves happen every 25 minutes. So I I'm excited to talk to you guys. Just watching this movie last night. I'm going, I can't believe these two are. And I'm like, no, hilarious.

I'm eight minutes into the movie and I'm going, there's no way they're still paying attention. There's no way. I was so confused. I had to focus. And Mike was watching it with me and he was like, there was a point where he was like, keep watching. Watch this part. Watch this part. And he's like, you can't look away. You can't look

down. You can't look around. You have to watch. I was like, shut up. You're really the worst. And he was like, I'm helping you do your job. And I was you're right yeah i got up at one point to get cookies and there was a bunch of like pew pew and i was like i should rewind it i know but it's hard when you want to get up and and then you you gotta go back or you don't and then you'll find out what happened right now when we talk about it yeah this, this was tough. Gabriels, what is your experience with Marvel? Are you a fucking nerd? I am a nerd. Yes. And I really did kind of enjoy the Marvel movies. I'm tired of them now, like everyone with the ubiquity of the fucking Marvel movies and Marvel style movies and

everything being Marvel. And it's worn on me but this movie and end game were like my sort of last hurrah with the marvel cinematic universe so i i did enjoy these did i have any desire to re-watch these movies now short answer no quick answer love newcomers, so... Yeah. But for real, like, it's just these movies feel like riding a rollercoaster where you're like, did you have fun? You're like, yeah, I think so. And then it's like you want to get online and wait two and a half hours

for a little thrill again? You're like, not at all. Let's go get some fucking snacks. It's actually the perfect analogy for that because it's two and a half hours to watch the film and it feels like a theme park ride in that you don't give a fuck about anyone or anything but you're like whoa that was cool yeah no i mean i definitely had some moments that i thought were like kind of interesting in this one but look we've said before we don't love the avengers

getting together i don't love when they all do something together. No, there's too fucking many of them. There's too many of them. Scarlett Johansson was just running around. I mean, I'm just like, wait. And this wig. This wig. But that one was maybe the best one.

So this one was properly ventilated and you could see a part, but they didn't cut her a hairline. They just cut it straight across. That's not a hairline. I didn't notice that. It made me so angry. She has like the little boy's haircut when a mom just cut it straight across. That's not a hairline. It made me so angry. She has like the little boy's haircut when a mom just cuts it for the first time. It's like

you just cut around the forehead so you're like, ah, there you go. It's out of your eyes. You look like a page boy. Nuts. And then all of Thanos' friends were the ugliest motherfuckers. I was like, who are these people and where do they come from

yeah i did not know about them yeah i did not know about them and i know i knew who thanos was i read the infinity gauntlet comic book series that came out in the 90s that this storyline is based on where thanos gathers the stones i've read i own that i bought it on ebay when i was like 20 something years old because i read it when i a kid. And of course my mom threw it out. But I got to say my overall, my major complaint with MCU is the bad guys. Cause they just keep becoming like bigger and more complicated in a way that's not appealing where you're like,

how is Spider-Man and Dr. Strange going to kill this like celestial alien who can do whatever they want? Like they play the game too. It's too weird how they play it in my book. Like Guardians of the Galaxy. It's like, it's this eternal space beast Ronan. It's this eternal space. And it's like, we just keep getting to like bigger and bigger space beasts until it's Thanos who's sort of like, I'm here to kill half of everybody. And everyone's like, fuck, we've got to stop him. Which is so confusing. Why half? Why half?

Yeah, like, what the fuck? Why not all? And I also was like, I don't like how CGI he is, because I felt like if he was more- You don't like the ball bag face? Like the purplish ball bag face that they let him rock? He's like an eggplant head. He's got like a legit scrotum for a chin. It's like wrinkled in the exact pattern, mind you.

Actually, I only have one ball. I should have never given the Russo brothers a mold of my scrotum. I didn't know what they were going to do. Yours has very deep vertical lines that I'm concerned about. You're telling me. I feel like I need to get out of the pool when I look at it. And it is purple, right?

Yeah, unfortunately. I don't know what happened. A lot of peloton beat the shit out of it but that being said um i guess i would have appreciated if he was a little more real like i because i think that's part of why it's like it feels like there's a it's a lost cause because he's just like this beast but i did sort of like when he was collecting all the gems i liked it too it felt like he was like a pretty pretty princess and he was like let me get more of my gems I mean it's the most basic in the best way it's like the most basic kids movie plot is like if the bad guy gets all five rocks he wins and it's like we must stop him from getting the

fifth rock oh no he got the fifth rock when he got that rock out of that guy's head I was like this is fucked up yeah that was really upsetting and also grizelda what's her name fucking grizel goes who's the green lady gamora when she's like a kid oh famously named for a place that was nuked because of anal sex oh yeah sodom and gamora from the bible oh how funny maybe that's why he killed half her people because they were sodomites but when he was like that was about i don't know that i don't know the bible either i'm like half remembering something i feel like they got murdered because they were like yes they were yeah lying with me i mean they were destroyed by God for their wickedness. Okay, but what kind?

The hottest kind. Give me more details. I don't know, this Bible should be a movie. But when he murdered half of her family or whatever, and then he was like, let's have a fun little pep talk. Don't look over there. Here's a knife. I was like, what is this scene?

I agree. Why did he kill half? Do we know why? fun little pep talk don't look over there here's a knife i was like what is this scene i agree and the half why did he kill half do we know why his justification everyone's bellies were empty that's what's dicey about the whole movie is that his just at one point yeah he's literally the world was like everyone's eyes were full of dreams and their bellies were empty so i decided to murder half of everybody oh more or less yeah he he thinks that having the population will allow there to be more recess resources for the other but then at that like the argument also makes no sense because it's like there's probably a calculation where you can get rid of a quarter and still have enough recess resources or fuck it get

rid of 75 and have tons of resources for everyone like his his own argument makes no sense and then on top of it it seems pretty arbitrary to like who gets to go and i know it's a it's random i know well because at first i was going oh we're not going to lose any mains it's going to be just these random side people who are going to disappear and i was going oh no we've got some mains disappearing here i'm getting a little nervous you know and then at the end when that's in that scene at the end like with um nick fury i was like oh really yeah and i was like but where are they going they're not dying right because they're not all dead i think they are dying i think he's like murdering them but they won't be in future films they are ceasing to exist uh look we're spoiling

stuff uh so i don't want to go through this let's talk about that at the end, I guess. We should first do our daily bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bugle. Wow, a beautiful song to kick it off. And this is our news segment, and we're going to recap what's going on in the MCU. So Disney Plus put up New Jersey-themed billboards for Ms. Marvel in the Garden State where the show takes place,

and they have these big Welcome to New Jersey billboards but it says Disney Plus on top of it and Miss Marvel on top of it and then she's sitting on top of it. That must be so confusing if you're driving through Jersey. It is, right? It's like you've been welcomed a hundred times. I know. They kind of covered it up with like information but it also just makes you think

it really is welcoming you to New Jersey. Easy way to prevent having to deal with that is stay the fuck out of New Jersey. I mean, it is a trash state from which I am from. It's a double win if you get the fuck out of there. Here's another piece of news. Two upcoming Marvel Studio films have swapped release dates. Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania,

previously dated for July 28th, 2023 2023 will now come out four months earlier on february 17th the captain marvel sequel the marvels previously on that february date will now go to july 28th next year interesting how much do you give a shit about that i don't care i couldn't care less i don't understand why they're switching though yeah i don't know it's all it's It's all arbitrary. And it's just like they put out, we'll talk about it another time, but they put out like the Spider-Man movie before the Doctor Strange movie that establishes the multiverse.

Like they've had to do some judging because of the pandemic and storylines. But it seems so tight, the portions you've watched so far. I mean, it's hard to keep track of but it does introduce the characters in a pretty steady way and after going off of ragnarok and guardians of the galaxy and then watching this movie you kind of start to see how the pieces are connecting but i think after end game it's sort of like all right now we're starting a new shit and like the people you half the population, they're dealing with the consequences of half the population disappearing. I think it loses its wheels after Endgame, and I don't think it has a strong grasp leading up to Endgame.

But I do think this is the fun run here that you're in. And now the Marvels, is that like Captain Marvel's family? Yeah, I hope it's about her family. I believe it's Captain Marvel, but is Brie Larson like pass her power on to the sidekick? She's the new Captain Marvel, right? Yeah, what do you know? Yes. So there's a couple different characters in Marvel Comics that have had like the Captain Marvel mantle. So yeah, it'll be Brie Larson and then a character

named Monica Rambeau who was introduced in WandaVision and then Miss Marvel, Kamala Khan, whose show premieres in like a week or two. I really wish it was like

the Marvels. It was like Roseanne except superheroes. That is what WandaVision is in a weird way. When you get to it, WandaVision is in a weird way. When you get to it, WandaVision is like a throwback sitcom starring Wanda and Vision.

The whole thing is? I thought it was... It's really actually one of the most interesting things they do. Whether it's good or bad is up to... I thought that it was... Parts of it were like that, but it's not all like that. Yeah, it's sort of like it's meta

in that it's a TV show and that they're in and out of. But if you grew up on sitcoms, which, Lapkus, I feel like you may have been. Maybe. Maybe you and I did a little. Raised by TV. We might have done a little podcast. Behind the stitcher wall.

Yeah, exactly. Good luck figuring that out. Good luck figuring out how to access it. And also don't, because I haven't seen a dime from that. Yeah, it's okay. You don't have to go out of your way. Stay with HeadGum, baby.

But if you were raised by TV, I think you'll like WandaVision. I do think that one might be appealing to me. We're going to watch a little bit of that later, right? I think four episodes. That's plenty. Well, great. My deal was that if they watched four episodes, that's still shorter than any of these movies.

Yeah. That's fair. And I think that'll give them, that's a good idea of what the show is. Yeah. And you'll meet Monica Rambeau. Yeah. Oh, good. She's a cool character.

Okay. Well, another little bit of news is that Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 director James gunn tweeted that filming had wrapped on the upcoming third entry into the series and teased that there is at least one unannounced actor that fans do not yet know about one one that we do know about who i'm a big fan of is will poulter uh i love i love that actor oh he's a a young man right yeah he's a young young blonde guy he's in mid somar and uh detroit he's in a lot of stuff but he, he's a young blonde guy. He's in Midsommar and Detroit. He's in a lot of stuff, but he's I think going to be Adam Warlock, which is a very good character. Who's Adam Warlock?

A very cool space celestial character in Marvel. I mean, cool in the comic books that I read when I was 17 years old. God knows how a children's TV program will portray him in the movie that's the thing i you forget about these movies because the way society treats them then you watch this movie and

you're like right this is a kid's movie yeah but like not all of them are like the last doctor strange was not for children okay and they said asshole twice in this movie they did you counted yeah well the first time I went, huh. Wow. You rewatched it, right? Yeah. I was like, say it again. I love when people curse.

But the second time I heard it, I said, why is asshole the word we've decided is okay to say? People say it on basically network TV at this point. Yep. Why asshole? Why? I'm like, there's so many other more fun words. Like what? I think it's because it so many other more fun words. Like what? I think it's because

it's medical. Like, oh my, I have an issue with my asshole. That's not medical. No. You go to the doctor and you say like,

my pussy hurts and my asshole burns. My pussy hurts and my asshole soars hell. Yeah. What are the technical terms? My titties? Well,

of course, it starts in my neck, hits the back, and then continues on to my pussy end. Asshole. All right. Well, we got to take a quick break, and we'll be back with so much Infinity War.

And we're back. Okay, this movie. This movie. This movie. This movie was two and a half hours long, and it was written by Christopher Marcus and Stephen McFeely and directed by Anthony and Joe Russo and released on April 27, 2018. I also have a question.

Anthony and Joe Russo, brothers? Yes. I don't think you should say Anthony and Joe Russo. I think it should be Anthony Russo and Joe Russo. You're not a married couple I agree In the credits it said that and I thought What's the deal with that

Or they should get a title like The Russo Brothers Because that's pretty much what everyone called Those dudes I don't know about their start but one of their first Gigs that everyone got to know them on was Community Really? Because I know those names Yeah you've probably worked with them as a guest star I don't know about their start, but one of their first gigs that everyone got to know them on was Community. Really?

Because I know those names. Yeah, you've probably worked with them as a guest star at some point. Not on Community, but maybe. Or a guest director from them coming on to a show you guys were on. Yeah, gotta say, they really broke free. And they're doing pretty well. Yeah, they're doing okay. I would say they've made quite a name for themselves. Yeah, a big old splash in the movies.

Because they did Civil War. No, not Civil War. They did a fucking Captain America one. Yeah, they did both of them. They did Winter Soldier and Civil War. Oh, okay. I think Civil War is one of the better ones. It's one of the more fun.

You guys did this movie already, right? The airplane hangar fight is so fun when Ant-Man grows. That's fun. Okay, never mind. Let's get back to this one. We covered it, but remembering is another thing. Wait, what about Ant-Man growing? Honestly, don't worry about it.

I'm starting to feel like a listener of this, I'm going to go on the reddit and be like these fucking bitches don't pay attention to anything there's just so much I wish they would have real fans on that really do this stuff so you have checked out the thread despite everything I know and everything I've learned,

I still, every once in a while, put my finger in the electrical socket that is reading the Reddit. I know, I know. Sometimes I do that, too, and I think, why? There's a nice man on Twitter who keeps tweeting at me things to watch before we record, and I'm like, no.

No, no, no, no. No. How about just the movie I have to talk about, which I do not fully enjoy. So do not add, hey, if, no. No. How about just the movie I have to talk about, which I do not fully enjoy. So do not add, hey, if you hate this movie, here's some extra homework to go with. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Okay, so let's jump into the plot of this. Yes.

To the two and a half hour part one. Shut up. It's so wild that they were like, we can't tell this story in under two hours. Because I think they could. I could find some places. I think so, too. A little bit of fat. All right. Well, in space, the Black Order or Children of Thanos attack

the Asgardian refugee ship headed for Earth, as we saw at the end of Thor Ragnarok, and kill 50% of the passengers on board. Thanos reveals that he has acquired the Power Stone, and with the help of the Infinity Gauntlet, Oh. All these old names we're bringing back. To send Hulk to Earth. That's Idris.

Oh, yeah. And Hulk had a lot of really weird moments in this movie. So many weird moments. Oh my god. Okay. And Thanos kills him. Heimdall? Or Hulk? Loki pretends to pledge loyalty to Thanos and then attempts to stab him and Thanos kills him too and takes the Tesseract.

Two stones down, four to go. Okay. So when he fucking kills Thanos, I was like, they don't give a shit about nobody in this franchise but then i was like doesn't loki have his own series but then i was like oh maybe his series takes place before that i don't fucking know yeah yeah you'll see and the multiverse skews everything up too but uh we're loki's like a bad guy two movies ago how much are we supposed to give a shit about him that's confusing to me because he's bad, but then he helps Thor.

And when he's in Ragnarok, he's all funny. I'm like, Ragnarok kind of threw me off for like, it was one of my favorite movies that we've watched, but I was like, so everyone has the ability to be, yeah, that's why I liked it. He had the ability to be funny and stuff. And then like in these movies,

like I'm not funny anymore. I don't ever make a joke again. Like Thor like is not funny in this. No, he's not. He's just like really hell bent on like getting that fucking hammer back. I know. And it's kind of sad.

Yeah. I'm like, you're nothing without your hammer. Oh my God. God bless. He, he really started to look pretty pathetic. I will say.

And there, can I also say there there were some moments, I just have to brag a little bit, where I was predicting lines and plot points. Wow. I literally go, oh, he's gonna, and then I would just like say the line and then they would say it.

And then I was like, oh, no, now he's gonna make himself the ax out of the part of himself. And then I was like, here we go. I mean. Wow, you called Groot becoming the handle for Stormbreaker? I'm assuming you used all those for Stormbreaker? I did. You used all those correct terminologies.

I did. You're like, Mike, wake up. Look, Groot is going to be the handle for Stormbreaker. He was yelling at me to wake up, but I was asleep going, Groot's the handle. You were in a fever. Wait, Groot was a teenager in this? I know, because we skipped the part where he was a baby because we didn't watch Thor 2 or Guardians 2 in a pot right yeah and now he's a teen who plays

video games he like sacrifices himself at the end of Guardians 1 and then he goes we are Groot and I cried I know that really got you yeah I mean I'm glad you guys skipped Guardians 2. That's one of my least favorite of this Marvel phase. Oh, okay. Yeah, but even though it features Kurt Russell, who's like, you know, a legend, but I'm glad you guys jumped to this. Isn't Kurt Russell in that Christmas movie I enjoyed so much? Probably.

Yeah, he really is. Kurt Russell as Santa Claus. That Christmas movie I enjoyed so much I don't even want to know more details last week I found out that she loves network television I've watched all of This Is Us, all of Million Little Things

I love it so much it's so funny to me and in all honesty the stuff Lapkus has described so far is on the higher end of her taste levels like the shit she watches yeah that's like the shit she watches is like upsetting like on a societal level yeah oh i watch this show where little people get married to foreigners from outside who don't speak you know and it's like wait what is this show little people

day fiance no i do love little people big though, and that's a fantastic show. I think I combined five of your ideas. I started to say last week, but I can tell you a little more now, that there is some drama brewing on Little People Big World, and it's getting really good. You couldn't tell us last week. I couldn't. I couldn't get into it. There wasn't enough time. There's plenty of time this week.

Zach was trying to buy the farm from matt and then matt basically said not a good enough offer and then zach moved to another city with his family which is kind of mean to the family if you ask me but anyways there's a lot of drama i'm hoping it'll work out back to this two and a half hour synopsis so hulk crashes into the new york sanctum centaurium and turns back into Bruce Banner informing Doctor Strange and Wong about Thanos' imminent arrival. They find

Tony Stark who's out in Central Park with Pepper Potts. The heroes debrief about Thanos' plan to use the Infinity Stones to wipe out half of the life in the galaxy and determine that Thanos will be searching for the Earth and Time Stone held in Doctor Strange's necklace and the mind stone that lives in vision's forehead vision's been missing since captain america's civil war tony

reluctantly pulls out a flip phone that steve rogers mailed him and he's about to make a call when yeah and why was it a flip phone because captain america wouldn't have new tech i thought that too but like he still has one from the 90s yeah that is funny it's not like he pulled out a like an old rotary phone maybe he was just like an iphone's too much tap it touch it and tap it no thank you i think it's one of those like uh chris evans is captain america is what like half of americans think they are like i'm just an old school guy in a new school world that's hilarious captain america has fucking morals and helps people you fucking nuts but a lot of people are like i just have a flip phone because i'm archaic and make people deal with me as a fucking

problem it's like oh yeah sick dude so i think that's supposed to be a cute moment how right do they get uh rich tech guys wardrobe with the way Tony Stark is dressed here. It's like elite performance wear that looks, yes, he looks like he's wearing flares. He was wearing flares. He made him look a lot older. This is where the movie gets really, I mean, we'll talk, I'll listen to the next episode, but like he's really old in this, like, and it's starting to show and he's still supposed to be playing like a 40 year old playboy or whatever and he's not he's fucking old and it feels old

but he can be still young he is young to me i do feel that that act the actor feels young yes but the movie feels they were making his face they they didn't do many favors i don't know what no and they gave him those stan lee glasses that helped yeah yeah and he like lost a little bit of weight so those flares really hit him in the weirdest places he's a little gaunt that's what it was that's what it was oh no no no no no no no. So then a giant wheel in the sky keeps on turning. That's what I kept singing every time the bad guy's ship would show up. Oh, my God. That ship was funny.

It was like just a big wedding ring flying through the air. Trying to find you. Yeah. To go on your big toe. So, okay. The Black Order invades New York City. Wong, Strange, Tony, and Bruce go out to attack them,

but Bruce is oddly unable to transform into the Hulk, which I thought was sick. Which is so weird. And the Hulk was like, no. He was like, no. No. I was like, what are you doing?

Stop this. It feels dumb. It feels like he was trying to come. It was totally like that. It was really weird. I've been there. Like, you're just trying to soft come at the end. You're like, I swear to God. Hold, I can do this.

I know, I know. It's embarrassing. I'm almost done. Dry firing at the end. No. It's dumb storytelling because it is interesting that the hulk and uh dr banner are in a constant struggle for control of the of their form but it's so dumb that it's like the reason he can't turn into hulk is because it would be hard to write why he isn't kicking

everybody's ass here it's so obvious because it's like yeah because if he was they had the hulk they'd be fine against these two guys because the Hulk is so powerful. They've demonstrated that too many times in previous movies. So they're like, let's make it hard for the Hulk to come through. Yeah, I didn't really like the battle that Mark Ruffalo was having with himself. And I also felt like some of the graphic whatever stuff on that was not that amazing. He was like such a tiny little head in that big suit. And I was like, this doesn't seem right.

There's a shot at the end of the movie where they're like gathering around Vision before Thanos comes and mercs all of them. And Ruffalo's in the back in that Iron Man suit. It's called the Hulkbuster suit. He's in the Hulkbuster suit. That was the moment I'm talking about. And he looks like digitally head floating

yes no it literally was it looks like when you do that Instagram thing of cutting out a picture and putting it over something in a story or something where it's just like just a little head, a square on a body it's so funny, it's like weirdly moving it's so far in the back

it's like this big, that's like one of the worst effects in the movie that was a crazy one, that's the one of the worst effects in the movie. That was a crazy one. That's the one I was talking about. It was so fucking weird. I know. It stood out to me.

I missed it on every other viewing. On this one, I couldn't unsee it. So meanwhile, Peter Parker and Ned Leeds notice the spaceship while on a bus headed to the MoMA for a field trip. Ned causes a distraction so Peter can suit up and join Iron Man. Ebony Maw, Tom Von Lawler, abducts Doctor Strange and he flies the spaceship away, unaware that both Iron Man and Spider-Man are stowed away. On Earth, Bruce Banner calls Steve Rogers himself. I didn't realize his name was Ebony Maw.

Ebony Maw, I know, right? I have to look at who that is. It's like a porn name. Short answer, to translate that to like uh more common english his name is black mouth oh really well i mean yeah ma is a mouth ebony is the black stone it feels sort of it feels like mouth you said it was a porno name and then it's even harder okay wait wait i have a deep black mouth call me ebony ma oh no the ebony ma is here to finish us all off oh beware my black mouth that character i hated

yeah you know which one this one is that little nasty thing yeah yeah who had no nose he kind of look like a fish like a big walking fish. Yeah, like the flat face. The thing I don't like about the Sons of Thanos or the Dark Order, whatever they're called, the Children of Thanos, like I don't understand what Ebony Maw's powers are. And this is just me being like old man comic book. I like when the power sets are understandable.

Like that's why Doctor Strange is kind of annoying because it's just like his magic allows him to do anything. and it's like he does too many different things in this movie where you're like well then why can't you just win if you can do all this weird shit and ebony ma has like full control over stuff but that's it and it's like that doesn't seem like that powerful of a thing compared to other people but it's vague and then there's a big guy with an axe that a woman with brought a woman with a uh a woman who's good at hand-to-hand combat or a female presenting alien that's good at hand-to-hand combat and then a uh how progressive yeah you're right i'm not gonna say

they're like they're not coming for me today no female presenting alien i told you i looked at the reddit once right and i aged a hundred years like I was the fucking Ark of the Covenant. I was like, I can't talk on podcast anymore. No, but I mean, like, and then there's another dude who fights with the staff well. And it's like, what are these? Like, why are we supposed to be scared of them? And why does Thanos need anybody to do his bidding for him? I know, because also he can literally do anything.

Anything he wants. And he can fucking teleport with a glove. It's like, just show up in New York, grab Doctor Strange and rip it off. But they have to build this storyline so that there's some ways people to defeat along the way. But I guess it might be like Thanos is too busy thinking, so he has his assistants

go out and do some work for him. He's got to ponder exactly how much half is. Like, okay. Well, what if it's a little kid? Is that count as, oh, fuck. Is that a half a person? Oh, no.

They eat less, you know. Or like Leah says, like, why not double the resources with a snap of your finger? Just make a shit ton of extra bananas. You know, billionaires could fix everything and they won't i just can't well re-watching these re-watching these movies with like like you know with like 10 years of uh or you know a handful of years behind me and it's like the answers are all like the government billionaires individual heroes it's like this is exactly what's wrong with society it's like everyone's like don't worry about roe versus wade don't worry about gun control captain america will

save us bro if there's a person named captain america they're a bad guy now so like get the fuck out of here with that we're toast toast. No heroes are coming for us. I know. Isn't that horrible? It is horrible. Okay. Where would you guys move? Okay, let's keep going.

I would move to the planet Vormir with Red Skull. Oh yeah. When that fucking red man came back, I was like, oh. No. I was like, I don't want you here. I know. I was like, Oh, no, I was like, I don't want you here. I know. I was so upset to see him. Meanwhile,

in space, the guardians of the galaxy answered distress call from Thor's ship after this Mantis. I don't know what, I don't know what Mantis is. Mantis is the woman with the two things that sticks out of her head who joins guardians of the galaxy. She's really a cool looking character.

I liked Mantis who's played by Her name is Palm Clemente Clemente, that's a really cool name Palm, wow Yeah, I like Palm She's an empath who joins in, oh, Guardians of the Galaxy 2

wakes up Thor, tells him about Thanos' plan and this is of particular interest to Gamora, Thanos' former daughter. Thor tells him that the Power Stone which the Guardians left on Xandar in Guardians of the Galaxy has been taken and Xandar destroyed. Star-Lord, Gamora,

Mantis, and Drax decide to go to the Nowhere, where the Collector has the Reality Stone since Thor, The Dark World. Thor, Rocket, world, Thor, rocket and Groot. Now a teenager planned to go to Nivandilar so that Thor can get a new hammer. Yeah.

I thought this, when I first saw this movie and even on this rewatch, this scene is really funny. The way they're talking about Hemsworth. I think this is like, yeah. When Marvel gets comedy, right.

Marvel does a little too much like uh non-comedy comedy where a lot of people are like yikes awkward okay believe it or not just threw up in my mouth a little like a lot of that shit yeah but i thought this scene was really funny like playing off how hot thor is and then god help us all chris pratt being maybe the only person in this movie who self-deprecates ever. I know. And it's like, the movie is so chock full of heroes that there's no, and everyone's kind of vying. And I think Chris Pratt, who I don't love Star-Lord or the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, but he's very strong in this scene. He gets annoying later when he blows it like five straight times.

But him and Drax, the Dave Bautista alien guy. Oh, I love Drax. They're so funny together, especially where he's like, why are you talking like him? And that's just such like, and it also calls out a little bit that Thor and Star-Lord live in the same world and Thor's an ancient god and Star-Lord is a dude with a mixtape and a

spaceman helmet like and they're like equals and we're supposed to believe they're equals but it's like there's this fun element here where they demonstrate there is a little envy a little jealousy a little bit of some status in the Avengers and world like the Guardians people had some funny

stuff in terms of like the comedy like when he, when Chris Pratt like jumped back into that thing and like gave the middle finger, I was like, peace or whatever. Like that was funny. It doesn't sound funny when I say it. But you know what I mean?

You've never sounded more like a teenager. I was like, you know what he's like? He's like, he's like, yeah, that was like really funny. That was like really funny.

That was like really funny. I was like really laughing. Um, that's like really funny that was like really funny that was like really funny i was like really laughing um that's like how my nephew talks um so okay vision and wanda who've been living a normal life in scotland which i enjoyed seeing by the way yeah i liked it it was like romantic and cute they're ambushed They're weirdly like adult in this movie. Like their storyline is like oddly mature compared to all

the other storylines. And I think it plays out well in WandaVision but I think here it's like I have to sacrifice myself. We finally have fallen for each other

and it's like that's just like arguably too interesting for Marvel movies. I know. I liked that. I liked it too. It's like I know. I know. Well, I like that. Yeah. I like it too.

It's like real stakes. Yeah. And it felt important at the end when like. Yes. And you give a shit. Yeah. So they got ambushed by two more of Thanos's children and the rest of team Cap, which is a bearded Steve Rogers.

Yeah. He looks sick as hell. I hated it. I didn't like the beard. I know. He's so much hotter than the beard. Sick as hell. Sick as hell. Sick as hell is a compliment. I know. hell i hated it i didn't like the beard i know he's so much harder that beard and the longish

hair is a compliment i know but i meant it as like ill he looked uh disgusting he looks fucking ill um unwell nasty yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck see i thought he looked hot with the beard and i'm not gonna lie when he catches that spear, that's pretty fucking... Like, his reveal of when the train goes... Like, they hear something, and then they whip the spear at him, and he catches it.

That was pretty fucking fun. No, he's a hot character, without a doubt. I don't... The beard is not for me. No, the beard didn't... I agree, the beard did not work for me. I've liked him in every other film, and I...

I love when Thor's like, I see you copied my beard. That's funny is i guess he had some humor i think there's some fun humor in that lead up to that fight too where like he's like uh i'm here tree and uh what he keeps rabbit he's like this is tree and rabbit and he goes which is funny i am i am steve rogers, that was funny. Yeah, that was good. I'm Steve Rogers. Yeah, he was so polite.

Okay, so the rest of the team cap. So it's Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, and Black Widow come to their aid and take them to the Avengers compound. And a flashback shows how young Gamora was adopted by Thanos after he destroyed her family. In the present, Gamora makes Peter Quill promise to kill her if Thanos shows up because she has crucial information that would lead to one of the stones this was so funny when Grax what's his name Drax when he was standing there and they're like how long have you been there

he's like an hour if I don't move you cannot see me I like he says I've been practicing standing still he's like you're eating a zark nut and he's like but you're eating a Zarg nut. And he's like, but do you know what's crazy? Like this movie didn't seem funny at all to me.

I think because Ragnarok was like, every joke was fun. Every line was a joke that like, it felt like there was not much comedy in this at all. Cause it was so spread out. But when we're talking about it, I'm like, I guess there were moments that were kind of funny and interesting.

Yeah. But it's like that level of funny that is in like a big major blockbuster action movie and i think i think like ragnarok and maybe guardians of galaxy one have it like ratcheted up higher yeah then then and i think that's because of taika and james gunn can like bring that skill set and the russo brothers aren't comedy neophytes but they're they have they owe so much shoe leather in this movie that it's like they can't even have jokes. We have to get to 11 different planets with 40 different characters. It's very tense.

That is true. Yeah. Okay, well, let's keep going. They get to nowhere and seemingly defeat Thanos, but it was all a trick thanks to the reality stone, which Thanos acquired before they arrived. Three down, three to go. Thanos messes with the Guardians and then kidnaps Gamora before Peter can bring himself to kill her. I did like how the gun was bubbles.

That was fun. I do like that. He does pull the trigger pointing it at the woman. Yeah. It's like, Oh wow. So he would sacrifice her. Yeah. He tried.

And then also it absolves you of being mad at him, you know, as the character, because you get, we'll get mad at him again later. Oh, yeah, baby. And then I was just like, if this man can trick all of reality, why doesn't he do that to get the rest of his stones? You know, yeah, you know, like if you have a reality stone, just like change.

OK, at the Avengers compound, James Rhodes, who is also little. He's like he just seems smaller than normal, argues with the secretary of state, Thaddeus Ross, that he needs Steve, Natasha, Sam, Vision and Wanda, even though they're fugitives. They arrive and reunite with Rhodey and Bruce Banner. roadie and bruce banner we also learned that hawkeye and ant-man the remaining members of team cap are unavailable to help because they made a deal with the government and under house arrest with their families which is like as a superhero you could do that you just opt out i know well this is so like they have to like resolve shit that happened in civil war and stuff and they're like and this happens a little too fast if you it's like look we have to do it it's like all right fine you're like oh okay but it's like you didn't have a budget to just throw two more people

in you didn't have that is that what it was or just too many plots being added probably too many plots um they make a plan to destroy the mind stone without killing vision and decided that to do so they must visit wakanda which I was like, don't bring this to Africa. Leave them alone. There's layers going on here because you're like, oh, and Wakanda is where they got the best tech ever, but it is like not at all Wakanda's

problem right now. It's not at all. Black Panther is not involved in this at all. It's like, don't worry. We'll go to their house and bring the whole fucking drama upon us. They really fucking did. And then make them fix everything. There T'Challa and Aoki deliver a new vibranium arm to Bucky Barnes.

And he looks at that arm and he's like, where's the fight? And I was like, is he deprogrammed or not? Like, he seems like that's what he every time he sees that fucking arm, he's like, I gotta go kill. He has no personality. I can't stand the character. No, he never, I enjoy the movie Winter Soldier. Like, I think he's good in that as like a bad guy,

but I don't, like, I don't give a fuck about him the way Steve Rogers or the writers of the Marvel movies do. But because I feel like when we saw him the first time in Captain America, that was when he had a personality and a life and you might have cared a little bit. But then that got taken away completely. I mean, I like the actor. I like Pam and Tommy.

Sebastian Stan, he's really good. And he's really hot in other things. And not in this. Because the character has no spark to it. No spark. And I also wish they gave him a little bit of personality where he like chose to wear the African garb for more of the movie. Why didn't he?

We only wore that for like five seconds. For five seconds. I want to see him in Kente cloth and his iron arm fucking fighting. Because at one point he's like, I love it here. I like, I like that. They call him the white wolf.

I think that's like, that's a fun name, too. Okay, so back in space, what? Do you want to say something? No, no, no. What? You want to say something? No, actually, I don't. We can get out of here without speaking.

Back in space, Tony Stark discovers Peter Parker on the spaceship, and the two of them rescue Doctor Strange. They decide to go after Thanos themselves. Meanwhile, Thanos successfully tortures Gamora's sister, Nebula, who she made up with in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 for the location of the Soul Stone. He departs with Gamora once he has that information and Nebula sends a message to the Guardians

to meet her on the planet Titan. I do think Nebula's torture looks fucking intense, the way they have her cross. It is. They like. Oh my God. I know. Cross sectioned out because she's like an android. So like to be able to pull her pieces out like that. That's fucking terrifying.

That was horrible. Yeah. And Thor and his team of guardians arrive at Nidal Valir and meet a giant dwarf named Eitri, who's played by Peter Dinklage, who agrees to make him a new hammer. So we learn that Peter Dinklage made the gauntlet that Thanos is, and then his hands have been like bound in steel, or in metal, vibranium probably,

so he can't make another weapon. And they have to, I love this. It's so dumb, but it's so different than other action where everyone is punching or shooting at one person yeah it's just cool to see a big action set piece even though it's all digital video game cut scene looking shit i just appreciated that it's not a straight up fight that we're watching in this other place and uh thor thor's uh biceps uh might be a huge part of why i like this i mean yeah when he's holding it open as the as the blast of the star is going through his silhouette of

his fucking buys and delts are unreal yeah he's extremely built so built and i like the part where peter dinklage is like they'll kill you and then And then Thor's like, I'll die. And he was like, that's what killing you means. That made me laugh. He goes, yeah. He goes, it'll kill you. He's like, so then I'll die. He's like, yeah. That's what they were talking about.

That's not great. I also like there's a simple logic of like, this will kill you. He's like, so will fighting Thanos without the weapon. Yeah. So he was willing to take the risk. Yeah. So Tony, Stephen, and Peter crash their spaceship onto Titan,

where they immediately go to meet the Guardians of the Galaxy and discover they have similar goals. I like when they were fighting each other because they didn't know who anybody was. And then they had to be like, who are you? That was fun for me. They brainstorm plans to defeat Thanos while Doctor Strange looks into a bunch of possible futures he says that they will

only win in one of those possibilities that was a line that I predicted so he goes there's 14,605,000 whatever possible futures and then they're like and then how many do we win and I was like one and he goes one and I was like I can write this shit

I mean I couldn't come up with half of how the movie works outside of that, but I could do little lines here. But, like, why didn't Doctor Strange use the time stone to go back in time to stop Peter Dinklage from making him the fucking... You can't ask these questions. Or go back in time... That's the problem with these movies is they set up so many extremely powerful beings

then they have to somehow figure out another being like thanos who's more powerful than all of them put together and it's like we've seen so many elaborate stunts from all of our heroes and now we're supposed to believe that none of them can like fight thanos it's like and then who's next like and they were all teamed up together and it wasn't I was like right yeah and it's like we've seen Doctor Strange use the time stone against Dormammu in his movie

where he like traps him in a time loop yeah why doesn't he trap fucking this dude in a time loop and you never can tell what's gonna work on Thanos and what isn't like it's just so arbitrary where it's like whoa Spider-Man is able to pull him down with his webs oh he's able to disassemble someone

by going like this like turn them into ribbons yeah that was wild why didn't he do that for everybody so it seems like the major weakness and the flaw in the gauntlet is if you can't close your hand you can't do any of the spells it feels like, right?

Because they like, Iron Man shoots something on his hand. They're constantly holding his hand open. And then he told the cape, he was like, keep his hand from turning into a fist. And that cape was like, okay.

I love that cape. The cape's awesome. The cape's one of the better actors in the movie. When the cape flew over to do that, that was good. So Thanos and Gamora teleport to Vormir where they are surprisingly greeted by captain america the first avenger villain red skull yuck uh ross marquand previously played by hugo weaving all right fun fun thing about uh so ross marquand uh uh very nice uh actor dude from uh walking dead I've worked with him a few times.

He got this role. And then also, Hugo Weaving is not in the new Matrix either. He doesn't reprise his role as Agent Smith. A person replaces him there. And then you start to realize, I think Hugo Weaving is one of those dudes who's like, what?

I thought I was doing one fucking movie. You want me to come back? I can't. Come on. I did a trilogy already. It feels like he's just like to be okay with being replaced in the marvel universe that's very funny he must just not need money at all he must be sitting on stacks but like he's a red man so it's not like his face i'd be like yeah i didn't realize it was a different person me either and that's something that's something yeah well yeah it's not like his face. I'd be like, yeah, go ahead. I didn't realize it was a different person. Me either.

And that's something. Yeah. Well, yeah, it does, because it doesn't matter because it is arbitrarily injected that Red Skull is up there. It's just to have a, just to fill up the movie with more characters to applaud to. Yeah.

All right. So Red Skull has the soul stone. So Red Skull tells Thanos that he must sacrifice what he loves. This part was crazy. He must sacrifice what he loves the most in order to obtain the stone. And Thanos throws Gamora over a cliff to her death, which basically proved that he does love her and he got the stone. I was like, wait, so he loves her?

Yeah, he stole a baby. Whenever you steal a baby, you love that baby. But the whole thing was that she felt like he she hates him and it felt like they that he didn't love her right and that's and that's what i think like because what does she think is gonna happen like aha you love nothing so you can't you can't get the soul stone and he's like actually i love you and she's like, actually, I love you. And she's like, huh? And he's like, wait a minute. Did he steal that baby to learn how to love so that later in life he could get a soul stone?

What a long con. That is a long con. It's a lot of work. It's too much work. Just for one stone? Just buy it. No, thank you. Just buy it.

Aren't you enough with five stones than like yeah isn't four stones pretty powerful it's a lot so back in wakanda the earthbound avengers are created are greeted by chichala and bucky they ask black panther's little sister shuri if she can safely extract the mind stone from vision and she confirms that she can wanda stands by ready to use her powers to destroy the stone the moment Shruti finishes. However, time is running out as Thanos' army arrives. And Black Panther

gathers the Dora Milaje, is that right? I think so. Because I heard it said two different ways in the film. Royal Guard, Border Tribe, and the Jabari Tribe led by M'Baku,

accompanied by Captain America, Bucky Barnes, Falcon, Rhodey, Black Widow, and Bruce Banner. Too many. He was wearing the Hulkbuster armor we first saw Tony Stark wear in Age of Ultron, and they decided to let the alien army through the barrier and start fighting.

And this part was also pretty crazy. Now, I don't love a long fight scene, but I thought this one was kind of interesting with how they had this blue fence, basically, keeping everyone out, and then they let them in to fight them i was kind of like why did you even let them because i thought they'd get surrounded right because if they surrounded them they wouldn't be able to defend every section oh they were there with all the all the

warriors uh glad we get to say mbaku who i love that i love mbaku yeah He's so hot. He's so hot. What's that actor's name? Winston something? Winston Duke. Yeah, Winston Duke. He's a fucking hunk. My God. He's a good character. He's very fun in the Black Panther movie. You guys did Black Panther already.

Yeah, we did Black Panther and I liked him in it. I just got to say, if I was from Wakanda, I'd be like, are you kidding? These white people brought this? I love this fight sequence too. from Wakanda, I'd be like, are you kidding? These white people brought this. Well, this is, I love this fight sequence too. I think it's really fun and it's fun to see Thor show up kind of total

badass, new lightning, God powers. That was fun. But again, I don't understand why Thanos needs an army. If he's, what are we doing?

Like he needs an army to get the stone to get rid of half of everybody ostensibly probably including his army of aliens right like like so it's like wait if you don't have that army of aliens is there less resources needed but it's like right it's your whole plant like it feels like some right wing idea of like the only answer is to kill half of the unhoused people it's like well what if we just house people it's like I don't know I think the resource wise we gotta kill them and it's like you have

thousands of thousands and thousands of beings working for you and you want to snap your finger and get rid of half the event vision doesn't even fucking eat food he doesn't even like touch resources like what resources are you talking about maybe Wakandans can fucking research their way out of it like let's try something like it's anything's possible but i i do enjoy this sequence

the highlight for me though is like and this is when i was in the theater saw this for the first time i started like getting really giddy is when they decide to charge and everyone's charging but because of superpowers black panther and uh captain america are ahead of everyone and i just kind of dig that because it's like they've squared off once or twice in the in the civil war and you know that like they both have like similar strength and agility and it's really fun to watch the two of them enter combat like because everyone's running and then they just slowly uh head out of the pack because everyone in wakanda is also a badass super agile person just not like they are not like them yeah and it's just like a fun version a fun example

of seeing them be badass and and like i like these scenes in movies where it's like tons of bad guys that are like arguably fodder so you just let all your main characters show off their cool weapons and powers like yeah like warm uh roads roadies just fucking blowing grenades on everybody and shit it's like what dude like it's always funny when everyone's like shooting laser beams and lightning and then like then fucking winter soldier is shooting like a ar-15 like he's a fucking gravy seal at the capitol on january 6th gravy seal i've never heard that those fat guys with fucking beards and those guys who look like

me who stand with guns at protests and shit those are the gravy seals that's so funny. Gravy seals. Oh my God. So meanwhile, Thor and Rocket successfully revive the star core of Nividar, needed to forge a new hammer. But because of the damage, Thor has used his own body for the device to work. In a pinch, Groot offers one of his branches as Stormbreaker's handle. They immediately use the hammer to summon the Bifrost and arrive in Wakanda. And Thanos arrives on Titan and is greeted by Doctor Strange, who distracts him while Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the rest of the Guardians attack. Mantis uses her powers to put Thanos to sleep, and they almost have the gauntlet. This was crazy.

So she's on his head, like, basically holding his head. I was like, this is it? This is all we needed to do? Hop on his head? Like, it was weird. She was like, I thought she was, like, protecting him. She was like, he's mourning. He's mourning. And she was, like, pushing his head.

And then I guess he was falling asleep, but I thought she was, like, on his side for a second. I was confused. And then they almost have the gauntlet, and Star-Lord learns that Gamora is dead, and he reacts emotionally. Boy, oh boy. And, like, goes to, like, slap fucking Thanos. And then they lose focus, and they lose the gauntlet.

And Thanos gains the upper hand and stabs Tony Stark, which was insane. Then Doctor Strange gives Thanos the Mind Stone in exchange for Tony's life, which also was insane. Because he said earlier, he was like, I'll let that kid die. I'll let you die. I'll let all my friends die. I'm keeping this stone. Yeah. And then they have five stones.

And then when Thanos leaves, Strange tony it was the only way because he saw the one outcome and the one outcome involves thanos getting all the stones that's something i was not thinking of that the that was because he knew the future he knew that the one outcome that where it works which is like again i i like it because it's but it is bad storytelling to be like there's only one way and it's like well then i guess we're on that path so we are going to succeed but only right well of course they are but i was still surprised by the ending not realizing this was a part one situation yes yeah yeah i also forgot it was a part one situation when i was like oh everybody gonna get evaporated

I guess they're gonna restart the fucking this is phase nine I don't know yeah doesn't that the shit hits when they start turning into dust like that actually worked on me and I think Tom Holland does the best acting he really does

Mr. Stark I don't feel so good. Why did he know? Is everyone else just okay with feeling a little weird, and then they just start dissolving? He was kind of like, I'm dying, I think. Everyone else just kind of disappeared. Well, it's because he's a kid.

He's only been in a couple of fights, so everyone's like, I've been hurt before. But he's like, this is a different kind of hurt. Oh no, Mr. Stark, I think I'm turning into dust. He was like, hold me, I'm turning into pebbles.

Back at Wakanda, Wanda leaves Vision's side to join the fight and Vision soon follows. The fighting ensues. The Avengers catch up and they're introduced to Groot and Rocket.

Things are looking up and then Thanos arrives. The Avengers line up to stop him while Wanda kills Vision and destroys the stone. However, Thanos uses the fucking time stone to turn back time. Thor plunges his new hammer into

Thanos' chest, but it's too late. And then Thanos snaps his fingers. After seeing young Gamora in a vision, Thanos teleports away Wakanda, leaving the Avengers to figure out what they did. That becomes apparent as half of the heroes in Wakandan Army slowly turn to dust and disappear, starting with Bucky Barnes. Heroes also turn to dust on Titan, leaving Tony Stark alone with Nebula. Thanos returns to his home triumphant.

In a post-credit scene, Nick Fury and Maria Hill I have no idea who that woman was Colby Colby Smulders What movie is she from? She's from How I Met Your Mother She's in S.H.I.E.L.D. She's in the Captain America movies and shit But yes, she's also in How I Met Your Mother

She's in How I Met Your Mother Another network TV show that lauren loves i haven't really seen that one oh but i would but i would don't tempt me um so they experience the result of stanis thanos's snap in new york city vehicles crash after hill vanishes fury hits a button on a enhanced old-fashioned pager he turns to to dust, but the page goes through, and we're left with a smidge of hope in the form of red, blue, and yellow. Oh!

See, I didn't get that. It's a symbol belonging to Captain Marvel. I didn't get it at all. I didn't know who that was contacting or whatever. I was like, pagers don't have colors. Yeah, I didn't get that, but I was like, must be good. Or it got through, at least, to whoever he was trying to reach. So that's the movie.

A lot fucking happened. A lot happened. It's the densest fucking movie I've ever watched in my whole life. And then now we have half the people. I didn't think that that would be something that would continue into future films. I thought we're not going to lose all these characters. But they must have been sad when they read that they were dissolving at the end. Yeah, I'd be so sad they'd be like oh okay so i guess i'm done i'm out i guess i guess i get to leave atlanta for a few weeks finally maybe they see my family and shit uh star in another movie

because i've had 11 movies and that's that's the real bummer about these Marvel movies. And I enjoy them, but like Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, uh, uh, Chadwick Boseman, these are all great actors that would just be fun to see in anything else.

But they're like, but they're so wrapped up in this contractually that you're like, uh, you don't get to see them do like anything else. Like Elizabeth Olsen was like, I missed out on 2015. The lobster. interactually that you're like uh you don't get to see them do like anything else like elizabeth olsen was like i missed out on 2015's the lobster i could have done that movie but i had to be wanda she wasn't mad i get it i think you just watch everyone who like your friends who you started with you're like they're so jealous you're scarlet witch and then like all your other

friends are like oh dude i'm in an academy nominated movie. And it's like, I'm going to be Scarlet Witch on a Disney streamer next. It's like, oh fun. Always being Scarlet Witch. All right. Well, in terms of awards, Infinity War was nominated for an Oscar for best visual effects,

except for that part where old guy's head was really small. And won movie of the year at the People's Choice Awards. So the film had some truly crazy box office numbers. Its total worldwide gross was $2.048 billion. What? $2 billion? Making it only the fourth highest grossing film of all time. What is the highest grossing film of all time what is the highest grossing film is that avatar we're finally getting a sequel come through james cameron

avatar 2 i saw the 3d trailer before i saw a multiverse of madness in 3d and uh the highlight of seeing dr strange 2 in the theaters was the Avatar 2 trailer. Oh. That's funny. It's the highest grossing film of 2018. So the highest grossing films are Avatar, Avengers Endgame, Titanic, and then this Avengers. Yeah. Wow. The second Avengers does more than $2.4 billion.

That's insane. Totally $5 plus billion. I mean, that's insane. Totally five plus billion dollars. I mean, that's insane. Like how much do they get on the back end of that? That's like nuts. Yeah. How much do people who need food and shelter get of that? Oh, slim to none. Enjoy Disney shareholders.

So it was the highest grossing superhero superhero film its worldwide opening weekend was the biggest of all time beating the fate of the furious from 2017 uh this stat was later beat by avengers endgame the following year and it got mixed but mostly favorable reviews from critics holding an 85 approval rating on rotten tomatoeses. Stephanie Zacharick of Time said, it isn't really a beginning, but more of a middle or an end with a new piece of yarn attached. You have to see it.

And internalized every one of the previous 18 Marvel Cinematic Universe movies to fully get it. That is true. And we are doing that. So I guess we get it. So let's take a quick break and we'll be back with more Infinity War and some trivia. Here's some trivia so tom holland was not allowed to read the script for the movie since he revealed too many secrets oh my god he's a funny little kid 2017 that's so funny in a promo video several of the cast members are in interrogation room refusing to reveal any spoilers and tom holland is in there with his tape uh his mouth taped shut that is so funny it's very funny oh my god it's so like i i think it i love it that's a

dumb fun like the youngest actor on set but it also is just bad it's just marketing now now that we all know everything it's like everything is fucking marketing it's all like well we can't tell time it's oh you know the publicity publicity department is like all right well this next one we'll do a big thing about you know it's like oh and then tom's people are on the phone tom will love that tom will love that tom will love that yeah yeah tom will love that it's nine more movies he has to do he'll be 50 when he's done and he'll have no career left yeah okay tom will love that tom will love that. Tom will love that. Oh my god. Okay, well, Josh Brolin, this is weird. He wore a foam headpiece on set that was the size of Thanos' head

with a camera on his face for visual effects. He also wore various foam parts, depending on what the scene called for, so that the other actors didn't get too close to him, making sure that Thanos' scale was retained. And he said that he based his character on Marlon Brando's role as Colonel Walter Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. Okay. Which I have not seen. and he said that he based his character on marlon brando's role as colonel walter kurtz

in apocalypse now okay which i have not i saw that i think that reads i think that play i think it really came through i think it really comes through comparing yourself to one of the greatest american actors of all time in a famously deep classic fucking American cinema. Yeah, I think it came through. I was kind of doing that. I was kind of doing The Godfather. Oh, okay. Cool. I was kind of doing that. I love Josh Brolin. I think he's a great actor.

But anyone who's talking about making interesting acting choices while you have to wear a giant foam helmet and a camera on your face. You're lying to yourself a little bit and i understand that because i've been on productions that are bad and you're like but you know it's actually what we're doing like you find all the happiness in what you're doing because you have to do it so you're like well it's actually kind of cool what we're doing in selling out we're selling out in like a different more interesting way yeah and you find

so i i get that but it's also like have a little fun like oh you're you're doing marlon brando from apocalypse now as thanos okay oh i remember that scene where he's got a giant purple fucking scrotum on his face you ever seen a snail crawl down the edge of a razor blade? Actual apocalypse now, line. Wow, I've never seen it. Me either. Production for Infinity War took place pretty much simultaneously with Black Panther and Avengers Endgame, allowing teams on all of the movies to work closely together.

Oh. Isn't that the best? You get hired for a Marvel movie. And you get to do three at once? Yeah, keep track of this, asshole. No, Bucky, switch out your fucking arm, you Sebastian. Wrong arm. Jesus, wardrobe, can we get the right arm? We're shooting Black Panther, not Avengers.

Which Avengers? Oh my God, wait, you got to hear this detail. So Robert Downey Jr. had production ship all of his furniture to Atlanta where a shooting took place. On Jimmy Kimmel, he explained, here's the deal. Lest I be thought of as some self-involved snarky he's got it all thing. You're away from home for a long time and we bring the cats and the kids. And the cats like this chair. That's where they nap.

So let's bring this chair. We thought, as a matter of fact, let's bring the house. So that sums it up. You know what? Pretty funny to be like, it's not that i'm self-involved my cats need to nap the cats definitely would find another chair they liked because they're a cat they're cats but i do think it's fun to have all of your furniture but i also think wow what like i don't so they rented a house where like the furniture fit the same way and like it just seems

it feels crazy also it's crazy that robert downey jr doesn't own a house in georgia like just buy a house in georgia dude you're a billionaire and you gotta spend nine months out of the year there in fucking digital armor uh that's such a good point i really enjoy these movies but do yourself a favor if you need if you're taking them too seriously check out some behind the scenes footage check out what it looks like when everyone is standing on green blocks in front of a green screen and everyone has different like green x's on their forehead and arms and people have like orange balls on their head and shit when you see that it's a fucking magic trick that they end up making a movie the movie magic is unreal amazing i get all

that but then you look at it you go i don't know if this is like acting acting like yeah like if you're at the if at the end of the day they're gonna draw a purple face on your face like i don't know how much acting acting you're doing you know some people are doing some acting acting though we got to talk about we had Wanda and Vision having like some serious stuff going on. I mean, I feel like there are moments. And I also I think Robert Downey Jr. is

he's like one of my favorites in the whole franchise. Well, he's so clearly the He's an amazing actor. He's an amazing actor. He's clearly the heart or the way into these movies because Iron Man was kind of like the first big Marvel. And you see it and he can do it all. He can sell you when he's sad.

He can tell you when you're like, all right, Iron Man, time to kick some ass. But then you also laugh. He is funny. And Tony Stark, the character, is funny. So it doesn't feel like, sometimes it feels a little phony where it's like, you're telling me the raccoon, the blue lady, the green lady, the green bald guy, the fucking tree, and Chris Pratt are all funny quipsters? That feels a lot.

But when characters are like, the TV show Friends, it's like Chandler's the only one who is funny yeah like they all are funny and do funny things and say funny things but within the context of the show yeah they're funny but they're not actually funny in person if you were talking to them you're actually going ross is really anxious and freaking out and it's so annoying right and it makes sense because you're like that's funny right but in the moment you're like oh my god please stop but then like chandler's actually making jokes sense because that's funny right but in the moment you're like oh my god please stop but then like chandler's actually making jokes on purpose that are funny and then i

think sitcoms now are all like everyone sits around and makes jokes which is fun and it's good writing but i do feel like it is okay to have a funny person a funny character and a character who has no comedy yeah like that is something that happens in real life and i'm assuming even more frequently amongst superheroes who have witnessed or taken place in countless murders yeah yeah it's okay to not be funny drama yeah exactly well we have our segment is chris in this where we name if a chris was in this film now this might be our most chris's ever yeah hemsworth uh pratt evans wow those are the three i know would you want to add any chris christine or kristin or any variety of that to this film

chris tucker chris tucker great would be a welcome if he was Ruby Road too from Fifth Element just that character like announcing all the Thanos fights would be fucking fun I say get Chris Messina in there he's got chops he's funny give him a fucking helmet and a gun or whatever just make up some character to have Chris Messina in there

he's kind of a Mark Ruffalo type oh yeah he is a little Mark Ruffalo type like hunky intellectual guy I don't think i know this person chris who's messina he's from the project but he's also yes yes yes he's like an indie darling actor yeah he's not indies um i would add chris miss kurt russell from that great christmas movie maybe you should watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2. So is there a kiss in this film? Was there a kiss in this film?

There was two kisses. Okay, wait, who kissed? Wanda and Vision? So Pepper Potts. Oh, three kisses. Did Wanda and Vision kiss or no? Yes. Yes.

And Pepper Potts and Iron Man kiss. And then Gamora and the fucking star man. Star Lord. Star Lord. Yeah, lots of good kisses. And we did get some romance. Wait, was Lupita not in this movie? No. Huh. I wonder why.

Daniel Kaluuya wasn't either. Yeah, because it felt like a random selection from all of the like. Yeah. Right. Yeah yeah nakia is not in it but okoye i forget what how to say their names but okoye is uh and it's interesting i want like i wonder why that they didn't they didn't make it yeah well uh kalua is a bad guy in black panther right he ends up being bad no but then he ends up being good he like turns then he's like wait a minute what am i doing my girl my king i gotta get back because it's funny because you're like oh of course it

makes no sense to have those two characters in the movie we don't need 41 recognizable actors but we have 39 already why not just throw that why not just do more and give everyone a paycheck flying to atlanta for a couple months just Just do it. I want everyone to get paid. This segment's called Five Stark Industries. This is where we read reviews, five-star reviews. Hilly34 said, love it. Wish they were longer. Have a great day.

Oh, thanks for that beautiful, thoughtful review. We also are reading reviews from Letterboxd. And then we're going to give our one our one sentence review ourselves and a star rating and if you don't know what it is it's a site where you rate movies so letterboxd this is a three and a half star review from alicia i am groot i am steve rogers was the most pure exchange between two characters also i almost fell while walking out of my seat that's how fucked this movie made me okay whoa but only three and a half stars yeah the movie made you fucked hmm that movie made me fuck i went home and fucked after that movie the movie is so long i had to stop and fuck in the middle you have to like it's like two and a half hours and i'm fucking rock hard for the first hour

just imagining uh loki's death over and over again and i'm like fuck i gotta do something babe please can we fuck during fucking avengers babe please uh this review is by jay this is four stars let's stop acting like thanos is the first Marvel villain to cause catastrophic destruction to the universe when Joss Whedon did enough damage in 2015. Oh, my God. Ooh, Jay, get at it. That's ice cold. Well, what's your one sentence review, Gabrus and star rating? My one sentence review is pretty fucking long.

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Is it out of five stars? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Three and of five stars? Yeah. Three and a half stars. Okay. Maybe 3.75. Wow. But I will

say I'm this is the problem with these movies and maybe my problem. I am going to watch Endgame today and I am not going to be on that episode of your show. Yeah. And I am going to watch it because i have like you know broken completionist brain but also i did it was fun to like live back in

this world for a little bit because this is the marvel this was like my last couple of marvel movies that i enjoyed so like watching this i was like oh sick okay this was maybe i'll do end game again and throw i'm gonna throw it on in the background disney plus um i'm a member so i'll uh so take my 3.7 i don't know about you but i got disney plus i got $20 a month yeah whatever i don't even know how much that's how much rich that's how rich i I am. If I did the math on how many streaming services I have, I would have to move back home with my mom. But that being said, a 3.5 rating, but I'm going to watch the sequel,

something I've seen before, and is even bigger and more bloated than this. But I do think it all pays off. How is it more bloated if everybody's dust? Well, you'll see. You'll see. It's longer than this movie. Oh, my God.

It does pay off. It does resolve. And I do think it does build. I'm excited for you guys because I do think it actually builds to a powerful ending, which is cool. Which is not a lot of stuff does these days. Yeah. Stuff falls apart towards the end. Lauren.

Oh, okay. I would give this, I would give it 3.5, I guess. Like it had moments and it wasn't like, I've definitely watched worse things in this, you know, season. So I feel like that's a pretty good review. That's pretty good rating. And then I would say my review is not funny enough. I've really been spoiled by Ragnarok and I need more humor.

Too long, but I did like the gemstones on the glove. And if I had to buy any piece of, um, sort of any sort of toy, I would buy that. I give this 3.6 stars. Cause like, as I was watching, I was like, okay, what's going to happen next? What's going to happen next? Okay. So you got all them stones and everybody's dust. What's going to happen? I am curious to see what happens next. I am curious. I'm curious too. You know?

So I think there's something to that. But yeah, I really thought that like, I really thought that glove was glam, you know? Me too. I thought it was really cute. This gold glove with rainbow gemstones come through, queen. Every time a new gemstone went on, I was like, it's a pretty cute glove.

It's almost like the Crocs of gloves. Oh my God. He's collecting all his gibbets. He's collecting all his gibbets. it's almost it's almost like uh the crocs of gloves because oh my god and your little flat is collecting those gibbets and infinity stones are gibbets i love that okay wait we need infinity stone gibbets yes we do i bet they have that oh my god i want really shiny ones not like where they're made of the rubber me too give me some shiny crocs uh fucking gibbets infinity stones well anyway fucking write a review on apple podcast because we're going to pick one to read the next episode and then you can rate it on spotify gabrus what you got to plug keep an eye out for corked a new head gum scripted mystery miniseries i'm on coming next month friends and newcomers guests like mary

holland and betsy Sedaro are in the cast. Stay tuned. That was so natural. Yeah, I know. I've been dealing, I've been talking a lot with the HeadGum marketing department about wordings and stuff like that. And I was like, that sounds

just like me. Let's rock and roll, baby. It sure does. Thanks for saying stay tuned at the end because i felt like because it's coming on right after this that was great i mean i can't wait to listen i i like that it was like keep your eyes out but i'm gonna keep my ears out yeah i think that's probably best uh i would say search corked on your podcast wherever you uh listen to podcasts and download it. It was a lot of fun. It's a scripted podcast by HeadGum. A lot of fun people involved, myself included. And you're not even on script at this point.

You are speaking from the heart. I'm speaking from the heart. And it's coming in July. Ooh, that's great. Right around for the 4th of July. Perfect time to celebrate America with Corked. A little story about wine country that I recorded so long ago,

I could not actually get into the details, except it was pretty funny. That's amazing. Well, I want to say, keep an eye out for Threedom. It's an Earwolf unscripted series that I'm on every week. It is my podcast with friends like Paula F. Tompkins

and Scott Aukerman are also in the cast. Stay tuned. Also stay tuned for Why Won't You Date Me? An exploration as to why I'm still single. It was on HeadGum. It has since moved. I'm still upset about that. You know, but I'm here on HeadGum with this

and that's great. And that is great. And that is great. And we just got a link sent to us in our chat of some Avengers Endgame Croc charms on Etsy. And I do want to have. I might get them. Here's the thing. You have to get all of them. Well, if you only have one, you don't have enough power to get rid of half of the, to commit genocide.

You need all of them. Yeah. And I'm trying to commit genocide to my other shoes you're gonna just have only left shoes you get rid of one of every shoe not half your pairs you're like fuck well guess what we're gonna be fucking back next week with captain marvel a movie i have tried to watch at least eight times on a plane i actually have not been interested. You have seen it. I have seen it.

I actually went to see it with David Spade in Hawaii when we were shooting our movie, the wrong Missy. And we, uh, that couldn't have been a less necessary thing for us to do. I gotta say, I hate to be,

uh, the white straight male who doesn't love the female led superhero movie, but Ms. Marvel, Captain Marvel is like one of the worst ones. I think. Okay. a white straight male who doesn't love the female led superhero movie but miss marvel captain marvel is like one of the worst ones i think okay also coming in july july 14th on true tv a little show called 101 places to party before you die and a new uh true tv unscripted travel mini series that i'm on coming next month uh friends and I don't think they're newcomer guests, like Adam Pally, are in the cast.

So stay tuned. That is great. Stay tuned. Oh, and Adam Pally, who stars in Iron Man 3. I tied it back to Marvel. Wait, he does? Yes. We didn't watch Iron Man 3.

Wait, that's amazing. Yeah, he's in Iron Man 3. All the scenes are with Robert Downey Jr. too. That's cool. Yeah. I wish that would happen to me. Okay. Gabriel, thanks for being

here. It's always fun to see you. And it was great to talk about the film. And we'll see you later. Okay. Bye-bye. Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.