Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Batman 1966 (w/ Paul F. Tompkins)

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

It’s time for Lauren and Nicole's next adventure: covering all things Batman. This season begins with very special guest Paul F. Tompkins (Threedom, Mr. Show, Bojack Horseman, Comedy Bang! Bang!) explaining the lore and cultural impact of 1966’s Batman starring Adam West. Get your shark repellent ready, folks. You’re going to need it.Next week's movie: Batman (1989). Follow Paul: Instagram, TwitterLike the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey! Everyone! Flee for your lives! Emergency. Batman speaking. Warning all of you to brace yourselves for big news. The biggest. Tell them, Robin. Holy superlatives, Batman! It's really exciting. Soon, very soon, Batman and I will be batapulting right out of your TV sets and onto your theater screens.

That's right, Robin. Our first full-length motion picture feature in color opens a whole new world of thrills. The big screen gives us more space on land, sea, and in the air to challenge the most bataclysmic collection of super criminals ever. Their minimum objective must be the entire world. And here are the dastardly villains. The Catwoman. You're going to see the perfect crime when I get Batman in my claws. The Joker. Have you heard this one? It'll kill you, Batman. The Penguin.

There are two eggs this wily bird is going to scramble. Batman and Robin. The Riddler. Question. Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Batman and Robin out of the sky? See the new weapons of the Bat Arsenal combat the forces of evil. The Batcopter. The exploding man-eating shark.

Holy sardine! The relentless Megaton Magnet. The unholy quartet's secret submarine. And that's just a sample of the exciting exploits ahead in our first feature motion picture. Holy memoranda, folks! Make a note not to miss it. Good thinking, Robin. okay wow we are screwed Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- And we are covering Batman movies this season. We are back.

We've missed you all so, so much. We've missed this level of homework. Yes, it really is homework. Look at it. Next week, I got a little scared. Oh, what's next week? Just a bunch. Just a bunch.

Oh, no. But it's good. It's good. Okay. Oh, man, we're really doing it. Okay, this is the first episode of the sixth season. We are working our way through movies within the Batman universe, okay, with the help of fellow newcomers or super fans or sometimes even people who've contributed.

And guess what? It's going to be 14 episodes. That's a lot. It's so many. And it's going to be culminating in a very exciting live stream episode. Wow. We're going to cover as much as we can to get an overview of the franchise, but we're not going to be able to get to everything. There's a lot. There's too much. But today

we're going to be discussing one of the earliest Batman movies, the 1966 Batman starring Adam West. It is an hour and 44 minutes. Well, that's not even mentioned in our notes here. It's not. But I was so, I was like, 1966? An hour and we're out. Maybe an hour and 15, an hour and 44 minutes of Boom Boom Pow. I was actually pretty surprised by how much they were able to squeeze out of it. But we'll get into that for sure. Okay, so if you want to watch it, this Batman's available with a subscription to Max Hulu from Prime Video.

And you can watch it for a fee on Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu. And obviously we're going to spoil the film from 1966. So if you want to not have it be spoiled, watch that now. But we are so excited for our guest today. Now you know him from his work on Mr. Show as the voice of Mr. Peanutbutter on BoJack Horseman, from his many appearances on Comedy Bang Bang,

and of course from his podcast with me, 3Dumb. It's Paula F. Tompkins. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh my God. I did it. You're here. We're so happy you're here. I'm thrilled to be here.

You're the best first guest there could ever be. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you very much. And we just can't wait to talk about Batman with you because I think our opinions are going to be all over the map. I would like to say first of all if you had a hard time with an hour and 44

minute Batman movie you're in for a rough season. Because they don't get any shorter. Which is rather upsetting and kind of jarring. It's like how much, we don't know anything I mean maybe I've seen a Batman over the course of my life.

I've seen one. I've seen one. It's the Robert Pattinson pattinson one i loved it and i said that one should be longer negative you got oh good so you found out mid recording that you're negative i'm glad we did that so good to test everyone i love it i love it um keeping us safe yeah i think i've seen one or two but when i was a kid like i don't really remember I listened to the oh the TV show? no the entire franchise oh okay yeah and I listened to the Batman Forever

soundtrack a lot so that one I'm really familiar with what's the biggest banger on there? Kiss by Rose oh of course yes yes

yeah baby if I could take a tour to the beach down the town and go oh

what does everybody do when they see you we all know the words. It's kissed by a rose on the grave. Isn't that weird? Is it? I thought it was grave. I know. And even that I wonder, what do you mean?

That's at least mysterious. You went visiting. Oh, okay. But then what's the grave? And then the rose kisses you. And then you're like, get off me. And it's back on the grave you go. Yeah.

You haven't seen the video? I have not. That's ringing a bell. There's a lot of images of Batman in the video. Wait. A lot of bat signals. Paul, speaking of a bat signal, what's your relationship to DC and or Batman? Well, I'll tell you, Nicole.

I go in and out of comic books and have since I was a kid. I remember watching the Batman TV show with Adam West in reruns and loving it when I was little. And then, you know, like I wouldn't I would not say I'm a huge fan of Batman. I've enjoyed Batman related things. Sure. I think it's-related things. Sure. I think it's gotten a little much, if you ask me. Uh-huh. But I've always known, I know the lore.

The lore has remained pretty much the same for a million years. What is the lore? Bruce Wayne, young Bruce Wayne, sees his parents get murdered. Yes, I knew that. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Right in front of murdered. Yes, I knew that. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Right in front of him. Yes. And it causes him, later,

to embark on a life of crime fighting. Yes, okay, but how- And he's super rich. Yes. Yes. And he funds the batting with the money from his company? His whole bat, his bat wings? Yeah.

Like his whole vibe? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Okay. And his whole, like like his cave and stuff? He uses his billionaire money to fund the Batman activities. He never touches his Batman money. Okay, so he's just like Jay Leno.

Exactly. Whatever money he makes from being Batman, he doesn't touch that. I wish Jay Leno would wear a denim eye mask. Honestly, that would be very funny. Oh, my God. Denim cape. Denim boots. He's denim then.

That would be awesome. I'd like it. But, okay, where does Robin come from? Because they don't explain that in the movie. Robin comes from, I want to say Robin was there pretty early on. I don't know if he was there in the 30s, maybe in the 40s. That's how long ago we're going? Really?

The 30s? Yeah. So like Flappers and Batman? The comics were read by Flappers? Flappers were in the 20s. Okay, but they might still be around. They're just out of fashion. We're in the Great Depression. You can't afford to be a Flapper anymore. The 30s is the 20s. Okay, but they might still be around. They're just out of fashion. We're in the Great Depression. You can't afford to be a flapper anymore. Oh, the 30s is the Great Depression.

So the depressed are reading Batman. Who's reading? They're sad. They're drinking soup. They needed this more than ever because everything was so bad. Yes. They're like, I want to read about this freak. And that's how it is now. We need more Batman

because everything is so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Robin in love with Batman. Robin not in love with Batman. Robin, legal ward of Batman because his parents. Oh, he's a child? He's a child. Oh, he seemed older.

Wait, that old man was a child? That old man was supposed to be a child. They say his young ward. In the comics, he's a kid. Young compared to him, But I mean, yeah. So this elusive billionaire takes in a kid and makes that kid fight crime with him. Yes. Because his parents were also murdered in front of Robbins.

Yes. That's a lot. I came from a family of acrobats and they were killed in front of him. This seems like a lot. I'm not making this up. His parents were killed during the circus. What? I don't remember who killed them.

Why don't they show that? Yeah, show us that. But here's the thing. The movie that you watched, that we all watched, is a feature length version of the TV show version of Batman. Okay. So the TV show already existed. Then they were like, here's a movie based off of everything we explored. Yes. Okay. It was a big hit, the TV show. of Batman. So the TV show already existed, then they were like, here's a movie based off of everything

we explored. Yes. It was a big hit, the TV show. Oh no, I get I can see that. I remember that. No, I'm not trying to defend you. No, no, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. Yeah, I know. Let's quickly talk about our thoughts about the movie before we jump into it and we can just get a

sense of where we're all at. Yeah, okay. I hated it. Okay. I hated Robin being like, gee golly, honestly, I don't know. I can't remember the is and the he only said holy 8,000 times. Holy smokes and holy romance and I hated him.

Holy Polaris, Batman. I didn't like his full brief bottom. You thought he should have worn a cheeky brief. Yeah, if you're going to show me something, show me something. I don't like it. Get a little boogie. I didn't like Batman. I didn't like his mask.

His mask had eyebrows. That was upsetting. The bad guys were also upsetting. They kept going, hee hee hee hee. And I really hated that. I didn't like that. I liked Catwoman-ish. Yeah.

Overall, pretty bad. Also, I was like, who wrote this script? At the end, they were like, success, success, we did it. And I was like, what? See, I'm going to be weird. I sort of liked it, but not really, but enough that I was intrigued. Wow. I was like, oh, it's kitschy.

It's like very campy. It felt like Brady Bunch and they all put on costumes and got silly. I watched a lot of old TV when I was a kid, so I felt like it made me feel like that. Like, oh, it's like a summer day and I'm putting on this rerun of Batman. There was something sort of comforting in a way about it to me. But I agree. I was surprised by how long it was because it felt like they kind of got through the story pretty quickly.

I was like, you don't need it to go on this long. But I also thought it was really cute to see how all the characters kind of started. And they're sort of basic. The costumes are so simple that it was almost like a crude drawing of what we know now. And that was kind of fun to me. Because they're trying to, in this era, they're trying to bring the comic book to life

and this is, the comic book was not as moody and grim in this era as it became. It was very, it was a comic book.

Well, it was so silly. The Joker was ridiculous. It was silly. There were a lot of jokes and I, but sometimes I was like, was that a joke

or am I reading? The jokes were tough. I didn't know if they were jokes always. Yeah. Or if it was just how I'm taking it now. Or if that was supposed to be a joke. Or if it seems. Because there was some sort of like.

Was the shark a joke? Like, right. Because it's so janky though. Yeah. Okay. And then all of the repellents, that was a joke? Absolutely, yeah. And people in the theaters probably laughed?

Probably. Okay. They probably did. Right. Because it was kind kind of funny everything was labeled bat whatever and so i was like that does seem funny but i didn't know if it was yeah yeah but i did like all the modes of transportation yeah like the penguin submarine thing that made me laugh real hard i liked it and i liked how weird all the characters were and i was sort of

just like grossed out by them because they were almost too real like seeing like the makeup like it was just sort of like so raw and like I felt like these are a bunch of insane people who are gathering around like they're crazy and they don't even like the Catwoman's like she's like she's barely doing anything but I'm like you're just a lady

I don't know can I say this about Catwoman and this is something because I don't think I'd ever seen this movie yeah I think I had just seen the TV show. Lee Merriweather, who plays the Catwoman in this, is probably the least effective Catwoman. Oh. The most being Eartha Kitt, who was in the series. Oh, she was in the show, and then this woman was in the movie? Yes.

Why was that? And then another one that was in the show was Julie Newmar. Oh, yeah. Who was second best to Eartha Kitt. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. Yes, I was just going to say that was in the show was Julie Newmar. Oh, yeah. Who was second best to the kid. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. Yes, I was just going to say that. Precisely. All I know.

That's all I know. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. And this is the first, I think the only instance of Catwoman making noises like she's in heat. Yeah. That does not happen, surprisingly It does not happen in any of the other Catwoman iterations. She was riding something through the sky going I was

scandalized. It was pretty wild. She does it again later. I was like, wow, that was not a fluke. She also wasn't sexy. No. But she's beautiful. Yes, but she was not sexy yeah yeah yeah yeah she was very pretty sexual yeah because i do want from that character you want her to be like i don't think i've ever

seen earth a kid as cat woman yeah but i've heard it yeah and yeah that's interesting because i was like something's wrong yeah i know it seemed a little chased i will say when she's revealed at the end and batman's like i know i laughed real hard i didn't know if that was those things i was curious about if they were jokes like how they're like no one knows who we are even our own families don't recognize us and they have like a tiny piece of cloth over one part of their face everything everything is a joke okay they don't none of this is supposed to be taken seriously. Okay. This is like such a time capsule of that era of like this was sophisticated comedy for adults. You know what I mean?

I actually like that. It's barely a kid's show if you can believe that. It is for drunk 60s people. That makes so much sense. Bad shark repellent. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's funny.

Maybe I should have watched it with a different eye. But I mean, I totally, because it's old, I totally get the impulse to assume that they're being serious. Yeah. Like they think this is cool. Yeah. And I think what I, it's all tongue in cheek. It's all like everything's over the top on purpose. I felt like it was fun to see when they're like punching and it's like blam, plows, plow.

I was like, oh, that's really a thing. Like I didn't know that they actually put that in like on screen ever. I thought it was just a comic book thing. So I thought that was cute and funny. A lot of things like that where I was like, oh, this is where that originated or whatever. A little trivia. And I think this is correct, but I believe that the Blam Pals on the screen, the first time that was done was in A Hard Day's Night with the Beatles.

Oh. Which was around the same time. I've never seen that. I could be wrong. I don't know if that is. But I could be right. The Beatles made a movie. That's all I know.

They did. Yeah. They made, oh, no, sorry, not A Hard Day's Night, Help. They made A Hard Day's Night, which was their first movie. It's in black and white. They made, oh no, sorry, not Hard Day's Night, Help. They made Hard Day's Night, which was their first movie, it was in black and white, and then Help, which is in color, which is more of like a sort of funny adventure kind of thing that they go on.

And there's some fight scene where they have the comic book sound effects on the screen. And are they good actors? Yeah, are they? Yeah, they are. Wow. Interesting. I don't know much about the Beatles,

which I know is wild. Newcomer's Beatles? I mean, we really could, because there which I know is wild. Newcomers, Beatles? I mean, we really could. Because there was that one when I heard a Beatles song and Tina Turner had covered it. And I heard the Tina Turner version first. And I was like, why would they steal that from her? And they're like, what are you talking about? Yeah.

It's a cover. It's not stealing one. It's a classic Beatles song. And it was done by the Beatles. What song was it? Do you remember? Octopus. I think it's Come Together. Beatles. What song was it? Do you remember? Octopus. I think it's Come Together.

No. Oh, yeah. Maybe she could. I don't remember. Yeah. That's my beautiful song. That sounds familiar. When I did it?

I think it might be Come Together. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's why it sounds familiar. Wait, Paul, did you like this movie? Yeah, we got near a pin. I really had fun, and I laughed out loud a couple times. You did?

Did you have a drink with it? No, I watched it this morning. I was sort of like, I should be stoned watching this, and then I was like, nope, I have to pay attention, and everyone will be mad if I'm stoned. That's what I thought. I was like, let me smoke something and watch this, but then I was like, Nicole, you gotta stay awake,

but then I fell asleep anyway. I did, so the last four minutes, I was dozing, But then I was like, Nicole, you got to stay awake. But then I fell asleep anyway. I did. So the last four minutes I was dozing. And then I kept going, huh? And then it was still four minutes. I go, what? And then I kept being like, they're not getting through this. I even looked.

I was like, I thought maybe, you know, in the movies now, it's actually 10 minutes shorter because of the credits. That's not the case here. They went up to the last minute. They're like, eh, we still have one more thing, and the thing was closing. The credits of this movie were like, you get it. It was a bunch of people.

And then at the end, it was like, the end of the living story. What did it say? The living end. I did like how the beginning said, I don't know what the living end means. I never know what that, that's just an old expression. Yeah, like you what the living end means. I never know what that, that's just an old expression. Yeah. Like you're the living end.

And I don't know if it's positive. So that's just a funny joke. Yeah. But the beginning I really liked when it was like, this is a movie for people who like funny, fun things. And it's just for people who like fun and like all those different, like, like this is just a good time. If you like good times, you'll like this.

I felt like it was like insulting me. Cause I was like, I do like good, fun things. But I don't think I'm going to like this. And I think you're trying to say something about me. But there wasn't that much content at this point in time. There just wasn't. Everyone who was alive in 1966 could have seen everything ever that was made. They're also all dead. Isn't that weird to think about?

It is. Anyone who was alive in 1966 is now dead. It's so weird. All of them. There's just no way they could live to now dead it's so weird all of them there's just no way they could live it's sad yeah it is sad yeah that's for bringing the mood down with your math yeah um well let's take a quick quick break and then we'll jump into what this movie was all about We're back. Okay, Batman was released on July 30th, 1966.

Hold on a second. Nope. Because it was, I have to ask. Nicole, could you please give us your rendition of the Na Na Na theme song? Yeah, let's hear that. Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- I got one. Thank you. Because you were going with the long version. I don't know how long it is. Oh, I guess it is shorter. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

Well, no, it's still wrong, but yeah. It's sort of like a royalty-free version of the song. It sounds enough like... What is it? Are you having any fun? Here, you do it. You do it. You do it. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- I don't know why I can't do this my body's like no

I honestly can't wait for that to just devolve over our next episodes ooh this was written by Lorenzo Semple Jr. and directed by Leslie H. Martinson where's Lorenzo now? you gotta wonder maybe this is how my gotta wonder. I was, okay, maybe this is how my brain works,

but I was watching the movie going, is everyone dead? Mmm. Is, Adam West is dead. Adam West is dead. everyone's being so funny and now they're dead. Like,

I think it's just like. Burt Ward, who played Robin, I believe is still alive. Oh, good. Okay. Lee Merriweather,

for all I know, is still alive. Burgess Meredith, of course, dead. Frank Gorshin did Cesar Romero did Alfred the butler

I think it's safe to say is still alive he's one of the 50 years old oldest one in the movie at the time there's so much I want to talk to you about this because I know I know like a little bit of trivia about this show and about that.

I don't know what level of things you guys know or if you're going to cover it later. Well, we'll get I think we're going to have trivia. Yeah. But we'll see what you know that we don't know. OK. We don't know any of it, but I don't know anything. I just know I really like Robert Pattinson's Batman. Well, you got many, many, many episodes until we get to that.

That movie was three and a half hours long. And it could have been longer. I was so happy to be there. I have no idea what that one is. There was parts I didn't get, but I had a nice time. I'm excited. Hopefully I'll like that one. Okay, so here's the plot of this movie.

When Batman, played by Adam West and Robin Burt Ward get a tip that Commodore Schmidlap owner of the Big Ben distillery is in danger aboard his yacht they take the Batmobile to the Batcopter to launch a rescue mission as Batman descends on the

bat ladder to land on the yacht it suddenly disappears beneath him I will say here's something I really liked about this this movie they explained everything very clearly the yacht, it suddenly disappears beneath him. Now here's, I will say, here's something I really liked about this. This movie, they explained everything very clearly. I was, I didn't understand why he couldn't get on the boat until they're like, it's

a hologram. I was like, okay. Like I just was like, I, they literally would turn to each other and go, here's what's happening. And I went, thank you. Because I don't think I'm stupid yet. I'm somehow missing some of this. Yeah. It was nice.

It was a nice, because there's so many movies that expect you to just follow and understand things. Not this one. This one tells you what's up. The pacing is so bizarre to our taste today that everything is so deliberate. It's like, so something happens. Batman sees, oh, this boat's a hologram. Yeah. Hey, I can't get on there. It's a hologram.

Yeah. And we get to Robin like, he's listening to it. Okay. And then he does something like everything happens in real time. Yes. So there's no question of, did Robin hear and understand what he said? Yeah. Yeah, he's literally processing information.

Got it. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay, so he rises out of the sea on the ladder with a shark attacking his leg. Now, yes, the shark was tied to the ladder. It was clearly the fakest thing anyone's ever seen. It was so wild.

But then that was funny. And I've still seen worse. Isn't that funny? Yeah, yeah. I've still seen worse than that. Yeah. Well, it wasn't supposed to be real, was it? because it's supposed to be like they loaded it with uh like i i didn't think it was supposed to be a real shark yes it was for sure okay that's a problem

i thought it was supposed to be penguin like set that up and it was like a fake penguin set it up but it was a real shark okay then that was really bad but i mean yes exactly and you're not supposed to think as an audience member you're not supposed to think it's a real shark you're supposed to think they're saying it's a real shark batman is being attacked by a real shark so they're what they're doing is they're going it's funny that it looks like that a little bit they're like it's not look we're not sure yeah well we know we can't. It's only 1966. A pillow? Yeah.

So he rises out of the sea with a shark attacking his leg. Batman manages to escape the shark's jaws by calling up to Robin for some bat-shark repellent. Dang, we're going blow by blow. Sweetie Pie, you're going to hear a reward of the movie. Some people haven't seen the movie, so we need to tell them what happened. So this is the first eight minutes. So Batman and Robin head back to the Commissioner Gordon Neil Hamilton's office where a press conference is being held discussing

what has happened. They meet a Soviet journalist named Kitiana Irina Tatyana Karen Skobar. I was impressed when she got through that. She was amazing. I actually thought her accent was so great. So,

um, acronymed as Kitka played by Lee Merriweather, who is actually Catwoman in disguise, who tries to get Batman to take off his mask for a picture. Commissioner Gordon interjects saying that they wouldn't be able to do their ace crime fighting if they weren't in costume. Afterwards, Batman,

Robin, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara figure out that the tip could have been set up by one of the four most powerful villains in gotham city the joker spice played by cesar romero the penguin burgess meredith the riddler frank gorshin and catwoman that was funny when they're figuring out they're like putting the riddle together and it's so crazy how they got to the it's impossible yeah yeah yeah yeah that was okay maybe i did think that was funny right i guess i also thought it was funny when she was like, come on, take off your mask. And he was like, no.

And she was like, not for a picture? And he was like, no. And she was like, okay. And I was like, did you try? It was very, okay, it was funny. The four villains equip themselves with a dehydrator that can turn humans into dust. This, okay. Those humans turning into dust

had no problem with the fact that they were about to be dust. No. They were standing there like they watch other people get made into dust and they don't even move. They also came back from dust being like we didn't know we were dust. They came back mid-conversation. Even though they weren't

talking when they were made into dust. They were talking when they were dust. They were in those tubes. Can you believe we're in tubes? Okay. That can turn humans into dust. An invention of Schmidnap

who doesn't realize that he has been kidnapped and escaped in a pre-nuclear submarine made to resemble a penguin. I did laugh. They recruit three pirate-like henchmen. Batman and Robin learn that the yacht was actually a holographic projection and take the Batboat to a buoy. Is that a buoy?

Is that how I say that? That is concealing the projector, but find themselves trapped on the buoy by a magnet targeted by torpedoes. There was a lot happening. They use a radio detonator to destroy the two missiles and a porpoise sacrifices itself to intercept the last one. And then that was crazy, because I was like, how did they know the porpoise?

The whole thing was, I didn't see the porpoise. I rewound it, because I was like, did I miss the porpoise? But they just knew, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think they're like, this is what happened. So back at the docks batman discovers that the penguin using the alias pn gwynn acquired the submarine okay that was also funny yeah you love it but okay here's the thing while it was happening i was like

what but then you sang it out loud i was like oh yeah that's funny yeah i mean it's it's cute it's like it feels like the origins of a lot of things. And I think that's what's kind of like. Yeah, absolutely. Like a little bit you're going like, oh, yeah, I get it. But it's like, but this was brand new at the time. Yeah. Like this kind of joke.

Yeah. And like, that's cool. Yeah. The idea, I think it's, it got me almost every time they did it, something that is so obvious that they're figuring out as if it's like a real deduction. Yeah. And then no one else saw it. P.N. Gwynn.

It was funny to me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He acquired the submarine from a Navy surplus admiral who has such vehicles at his disposal. Just then the Riddler shoots off a missile from the submarine, which reveals a set of riddles written in the sky. At Commissioner Gordon's office, Batman, Robin, and the Commissioner

and Chief O'Hara solve the riddles and are able to officially confirm Catwoman's involvement with the Penguin, Joker, and Riddler. I thought it was the Riddler. Anyway, who are part of an organization

known as the United Underworld and are plotting world domination. Maybe I did like this movie. I don't know. You're plotting world domination. The heroes then depart for movie. I don't know. You're plotting world domination. The heroes then depart for the Batcave. I mean, when they figured out that it's all of them together.

Yes. And then it's like, that almost feels like something you would figure out further into a movie. Yes. Like, they figured that out really early. Very, very early. And then it's like, they know. That's kind of why it was weird. I think the pacing was weird.

Because it was like, they figured out who they're against so fast. And then they just were dealing with them like the whole time. This is almost like because of the TV show, it's almost like a sequel where they're assuming you know all these people. Oh, right. You know all these characters. So we're not going to get you up to speed on anything. You already know who they are. They're all working together.

Let's get them in as quickly as possible. And they look insane when they're all together. They really look crazy. And they're always like, they'll have their weird laughs. I didn't like the laughing. I didn't like Joker. Why was his makeup over his mustache?

Why did he shave his mustache? Why did they do that, Paul? Because he would not shave his mustache. She's a Romero's like, yeah, I'll do it. I'm not going to shave my mustache. What? Really?

Are you sure you won't do it? He's like, yeah, I don't care. And he's on to shave my mustache. What? Really? Are you sure you won't do it? He's like, yeah, I don't care. And he's on the TV show? Yeah. And he had a mustache on the TV show? Yeah. Under the makeup? Yeah.

Did you ever see him without the makeup? No. So he could shave it. But he wants it in his life. He wants it in his life. Yes. Did the villains? He's like, I'm not shaving my trademark mustache for Batman.

Oh, he had a trademark mustache. Yeah, he had always had a mustache. I don't know him. But it looks stupid under the makeup. It did look dumb. Yeah, of course. Yeah. It was just like, why did-

But that's also, but that's the show. And it's also like- Who cares? Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit like slapdash, whatever. I have a question. Yeah. In the TV show, did all of them work together? Or was this like a movie thing where it was like supervillains? No, in the TV, I don't think, in the TV show, there's of them work together? Or was this like a movie thing where it was like super villains?

No, I don't think. In the TV show, there's probably a couple team ups here and there. But usually it was like a villain of the week. And it would be. It was an opportunity for guest stars, you know, famous people of the day. Like who? Charlie Chaplin? Vincent.

Charlie Chaplin. I mean he said it was a comedy but he was even alive then no no well he might have been alive Charlie Chaplin was alive but he was done

he was not a guest or a bad fan it was more people who were sort of contemporary at that time yeah and were famous for speaking It was more people who were sort of contemporary. Yeah, and were famous for speaking. You're right.

He was a silent role. Like Vincent Price was on it. I had a Vincent Price tape that I would watch all the time when I was a kid. Yeah, it was like a tape where he would come out at the beginning and introduce these scary little things. Yeah. What is that? I don't know. Why do I know it? I just had it. I don't even know.

You probably had it. Maybe I did. It was just like, he just would be like, I'm Vincent Price. And here's the story of the blah, blah, blah. And then it's like some little vignette or something. I don't know. Like a little ghost story kind of thing? Sort of like Tales of the Crypt vibes.

Huh. Yeah. So you love him? So I love him. Yeah. He's a huge figure for my childhood. He played Egg you love him. So I love him. Yeah. He's a huge figure for my childhood. He played Egghead on Batman. What?

And he had a big, giant bald head. Is that someone we're going to come see again? Egghead? We're going to come see again? I mean, are we going to see Egghead in the movies? I don't know. No. Okay.

You will not be seeing Egghead. No Egghead. It's a character nobody wants to see again. Yes. Did he fight with eggs? He did a lot of egg puns, of course. Did he do a lot of rotten egg smoke? I think he did do that.

My memories of egghead are not varied. I'll be looking that up later. So, meanwhile, the villains devise a plan to kill Batman. They decide to have Catwoman disguised as Miss Kitka lure a millionaire philanthropist back to her apartment, kidnap them have catwoman disguised as miss kitka lure a millionaire

philanthropist back to her apartment kidnap them both and use them as bait for batman to come to the rescue the mill now this was a silly little situation now the millionaire philanthropist they chose is of course none none other than bruce wayne head of the wayne foundation now i was watching this going uh-huh she knows that's him she's going she knows that's him. She's going, she knows that's Batman. She's tricking him. It's layers, it's layers. And then they really

didn't know that was him. No, and he was so horny for her. Oh yeah. The way the tension would build between them, I thought, just fuck already.

Yeah. I was like, why don't they just do it? And at one point, he was like breathing all heavy. They just got really close a lot and they'd be like, ah,

ah, ah. It was very wild to me. Anyway, Miss Kita visits Bruce Wayne at Wayne Manor where she shows him riddles that are left at her penthouse which is owned by the Wayne Foundation whom the Riddler hates.

Batman heads to the Batcave to solve the riddles with Robin which seemingly reveal a threat on Miss Kita's life who they think will slip on a banana peel and die. Batman plans to go on a date with Miss Kita in that evening, but asks Alfred, Alan Napier, and Robin to keep a close watch from the Batmobile using the micro TV bat scanner, just in case Riddler tries to make good on his threat. Now, I liked that part where they were watching the date. Yeah. That's fun. I always want to watch a friend's date. You like Alfred's mask?

Yeah, that was under his glasses. And then they're watching and the two are about to hook up and they're like, I guess we shouldn't watch this Alfred. And he's like, okay, if you say so. That's where you draw the line. Please let me watch. I'm so old. I'm the oldest man. that's Alfred. And he's like, okay, if you say so, that's where you draw the line.

Please let me watch. I'm so old. He's like, if I could just see you, please. Wait, and Alfred. I would love to see this woman fuck my boss.

Alfred is like Batman's keeper. He's his butler, right? Yes. In the comics, he essentially takes care of him after he was, you know, family employee. Yes. And then he looks after him after the parents die. But who's the old

man, is it the commissioner, who's in their house, in the Batman house before, and like, they, he doesn't know that they're Batman and Robin and they jump into the like. I think that was the commissioner, yes. So he just came over. He didn't, that wasn't his property. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay yeah so he just came over he didn't that wasn't his yes okay yes yes yes um okay so he just came over but like it's one thing we haven't mentioned is that they have these little like they so they're in their mansion batman's mansion and then they like

have like a door that reveals their like poles that they jump down to go become batman and robin and when they get down there they're in the costumes which Which is kind of funny, I guess. Yeah. You love it. Their outfits are so weird. They're so weird. It's so, it's so revealing. Yes. Especially Robin. Like, he's like the green, green underpants. It's a lot.

And he did seem like a grown man to me. I didn't get that he was supposed to be. He was not a child. He was not his ward. I think in that. He was not his ward. There's in that he was not his ward. There's no way he was his ward. I know how old wards are supposed to be.

I think because he clearly is a grown man, I think they leave it very hazy as to how old he's supposed to be. So maybe late teens you could buy. They're hoping. Was he on the series? Oh, yeah. So he maybe just aged a little bit. Was he on the series? Oh, yeah. So he maybe just aged a little bit. Did he start the series as a child?

No, no, no, no. Oh, he was still a grown man on the series. This is like, this might have even been concurrent with the series, this movie. I'm not sure. Oh. Okay. It was? Yeah, it's not like many years later, like, let's reunite and do this. Yeah, and he's like, no, I'm old, but I'll pretend I'm little or whatever. But I can say that having not seen any of this batman since i was a child uh robin truly

sucks he's bad oh my god uh throwing performance is annoying yeah and he's not helping anything no he says holy blank as basically his only line the entire time. I was kind of like, say other stuff. That's where I was. That was a good thing. I wanted to know his opinion on his full briefs. Like, I just don't understand them. There was so much happening in the junk region on characters in this film. And he had nude tights and Batman had gray tights. And I was like, why does Batman get to cover up a little bit more than Robin?

Like, why do I have to look at Robin? Yeah. That's what the costumes look like in the comics. It was pretty faithful. Really? Yeah.

Robin's legs are just out like that? Yeah. Okay. But he's also a little boy in the thing. We gotta cover up the little boy. That's definitely worse. Oh,

he's an acrobat. Maybe in the comics he's also wearing nude hose. I think he has nude hose on. Because you don't want to have an accident where your pee-pee shows. No, you wouldn't want that while fighting crime. So in a plot to lure the criminals out of hiding, Robin asks Chief O'Hara to flash the bat signal

to make it seem like he and Batman are racing to police headquarters and are out of the way. Leaving Miskita unsupervised and open to attack. But the plan doesn't seem to work. police headquarters and are out of the way leaving mskita unsupervised and open to attack but the plan doesn't seem to work in a carriage ride back to mskita's apartment she takes out a listening device shaped like a cat figurine with an antenna that will say the commitment to the character's name and stuff all the stuff they had and even like when they're all looking through the periscope and they each have a like a little label that matches whose side it is.

Yeah. And she was pushing this little plastic cat that's like the cheapest toy anyone's ever had. I'm like, it's not connected to anything. Like that's not doing anything. But I liked it. A cat like shape. A cat.

No. Shaped like a cat figurine with an antenna. So the villains know where they're headed. Once Bruce and Mesquita arrive at her place, the two start getting a little, this is where they get hot and heavy, and just heavy breathing so much. It was really upsetting. Just so much like almost about to kiss.

Yeah, and I'm like, just do it. Yeah, just do it. An attempt to give the two privacy turns off the bat scanner that's monitoring their every move with no one monitoring the lovebirds, the penguin joker, Riddler, and their henchmen kidnap Bruce and Mesquita.

When Robin switches the scanner back on, he finds, oh no, it's too late to save them. So Bruce wakes up in the villain's lair wondering what they've done with Miss Kitka, who of course has now changed back into Catwoman. And the villains meanwhile wonder why Batman hasn't come to save Bruce and Miss Kitka and are frustrated he hasn't fallen into their trap. So Bruce manages to fight off the villains and he escapes. Bruce reunites with Robin, changes back into Batman trap. So Bruce manages to fight off the villains and he escapes. Bruce reunites with Robin, changes back into Batman,

and together they return to the villain's lair. Meanwhile, the villains test out the Dehydrator, turning five men into colorful dust. Yeah, so that was just a test? And all the men were blue dust, whereas some other men turned into different colors. These guys were all the same. The five were the same color dust?

They were all blue dust. Yeah. Oh. I didn't understand where they got them. And I also didn't understand the pipe. Where they got the guys? Yeah. There's always henchmen around. They're henchmen.

Oh, they were henchmen who got dusted? And the pirate, the pirate was just a flare. That was just flare because they were on a boat. Because they were on a submarine. But so, when they were tricking that person. And penguins are vaguely nautical. There was that point in the beginning where they're like tricking a man into thinking he's captaining the ship. But it's just a fake screen.

And they're. Do you know what I'm talking about? They had a screen that looked like water. Like the ocean rising and falling. There's a guy like pushing a bike to like make it go up and down. Like flapping some sounds or something. Did I watch something else? That was in there.

That's Commodore Schmidt lap. Okay, okay. You know what I'm talking about. Commodore Schmidt lap. Honestly, that might have been when I fell asleep. It was right at the beginning. They put him into a fake area and made it seem like the water was going up and down,

but he's no longer on the ship or something. And I didn't know if the pirate came from his ship and they were just like you work for us now i i didn't understand where the pirate came from the buyer was in the the penguins employ i believe okay yeah so this is the pirate we see later in the striped shirt yeah but he gets like killed or something yeah he's got a little earring it's kind of cute yeah okay once in the lair batman finds a large bomb this This was a cute part. He isn't able to safely detonate it anywhere. First he runs into a marching band. He's got this big bomb that has a little spark on it.

Then a group of nuns. Then a woman with a baby stroller. That made me laugh because I was like, that's not heightening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all the same, really. Or the opposite, really. Group, group, two people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He ends up throwing it into the air and uses some metal pipes

to shield himself from the explosion. Come on. When he saw the ducks, that got a big laugh out of me. When he runs through the bar and then Robin's like, he calls them like drunks. He's like deplorable people or something.

He says something like, you didn't want to blow up those horrible drunks or something. He goes, well, they're still people. Yeah. I was like you didn't want to blow up those horrible drunks or something yeah so there's still people yeah yeah i was like that was funny that's silly so then batman and robin are confronted by the penguin who by the way i mean penguin i know the penguin character gets when he's danny devito he's like really disgusting this really grossed me out actually the way that he looked i didn't bother he looked either it really bothered me his nose and very weird and his teeth and just the way he was giggling all the time they were

all constantly giggling those are his own teeth yeah but the nose is fake i loved it i loved his teeth i was surprised at how good the nose looked it was good for the time like i thought i was gonna clearly see it oh yeah yeah where it was glued on no no it was a good it was good for the time like I thought I was gonna clearly see it a lot oh yeah yeah where it was glued on no no it was a good it was well done he's just looked weird to me he just looked weird

he all looked so weird I didn't like looking at any of the villains well I don't know if you have this and I feel like you do because of our experience making this podcast

do you just like picture yourself having sex with people and then you're like ew so like Penguin I was sort of like ew

that one I was like I could never the Joker I was like Penguin, I was sort of like, ew. That one, I was like, I could never. The Joker, I was like, I think I could. The Joker? Yeah. I literally was thinking about all of them. Hold on a second. You guys both have this condition

where no matter what you're watching, you're like, what do I expect? If there's something off, it started with sort of like weird things in Star Wars. Yeah, yeah, we had a lot of sexual attractions to really weird things. Where I was like, ooh, that little alien guy. We both wanted to have sex with these huge aliens.

Oh, yeah. They were nice. Look, I... They were nuts. This aspect of it, I understand. Like, having a weird attraction to something. But you're making it sound like now everything you look at, you are cursed. It's sort of...

Dude, you have to do this. It's sort of like... I mean, kind of. It's sort of sort of like, I'm watching going like, oh, they're so weird. And I go, oh, get them off me. Yeah, I don't want that on top of me. Or you're like, I would ride that. Like, I think I could have sex with Batman. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

But he would have to take the mask off. He's hot. He could keep the eye thing on. It's just, I hated those eyebrows. I didn't like that. Yeah. I agree. I agree. Because his eyes also were getting lost back there sometimes. It wasn't lined up perfectly.

That was a little annoying. You can't win though because it's either you have this mask where it's like your face is clearly so far back from the mask or you have that dumb makeup around your eyes. Yeah. And Robin, I simply couldn't. He's an attractive billionaire

and I think that works for me. So then... I feel like Jiminy Glick. Then Batman and Robin are confronted by the Penguin poorly disguised as Commodore Schmidlap who talks the heroes into taking him into the Batcave.

I didn't think his disguise was that bad. Yeah, if you didn't know who Schmidlaff was, sure, he looks like him. There he rehydrates the five dehydrated henchmen. However, to do this, he uses water loaded with atomic waste from the Batcave's atomic pile, which makes the henchmen's biological structure

highly unstable, and just touching them makes them disappear. Which is wild. Yes, and the penguin then hijacks the Batmobile and takes it to meet up with the other villains at the United World Organization, hoping to dehydrate the United World Security Council members and hold the entire world for ransom. And they won a billion dollars from every country.

I was like, good fucking luck. Yeah, that's too much money. It was a lot. You think you're going to get a billion from every country? Not every country has a billion to give. Four ambassadors, essentially. Are you really going to get it? Am I really going to get it? Are they?

Are they going to get it, Paul? It's a huge ask. It's a lot of money. It is a huge ask. It is a lot of money, but they're insane. Okay. You know what I mean? You don't know what they're capable of. These people are out of their mind. They're mad.

They're absolutely mad. I also want to know what goes through Joker's mind when he's putting the makeup on. That's the part, you know, because you're putting this on every day. Yeah. You're crazy. Like, I know for movie time someone's doing it, but, like, the character, like, why do you put it on like that? Now, the thing is, is that we don't know,

depending on the iteration of the Joker if it's makeup that he's putting on his face or if that's just his face. Wait, what? Because there is Well, the mustache really doesn't help that.

Mustache is not helping. Yeah. Agreed. Wait, there's iterations where we just think a man has a clown face? Well, like Heath Ledger, right? Is that the one

where it's kind of like that's just what he looks like? No. Heath Ledger put makeup on, but he had scars. Oh, the scars. To give him the Joker's rick just like smile. But then, like, the Jack Nicholson Joker,

which I think is true to the comics, well, this is like, the comics have been going on for so fucking long that eventually they're like, the Joker doesn't put on makeup. He fell into a vat of chemicals and that changed his appearance. Yes. So it's

he just is a freak who looks that way as opposed to a guy who's like... Yeah, every day. Doing a little theater makeup. So when did they arrive at the vat decision? I think that might have happened in the 50s maybe or something. Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the comics, yeah. Okay. Okay. We're going really far back. Batman and Robin use the Batcycle and Batcycle go-kart. Okay, I'll tell you. I love this.

And I love when it's separated. Yeah. To go to the Batcopter. I really did love all of the Bat things. They had a lot more mobiles than I expected them to have. So many. Boats, little Bat cycles. They all look cool, too. Yeah. I really like that Bat boat.

That's a cool boat. And that cave. The design of that stuff was really great. Have you been there? There's like a Bat cave. Bronson Canyon, right? I used to live over there. Maybe you've been in there. Maybe. That's where i live

oh you're batman on the first episode we're reviewing this from the submarine the riddler fires one of his skywriting riddle rockets which hits the batcopter and crashes it batman and robin survive of course thanks to the batcopter soft landing solve the riddler's riddle, and run to the United World's building, but they arrive too late. The Security Council has already been dehydrated. I just really love that they say

dehydrated and not like dusted. It's just liquid that's gone and they look like that now. The villains take the vials of dust, gas the building's guards, and escape in the submarine. I liked the building. This is where everybody's different colored dust because they're from all over the world.

So all the Americans are blue. Yep. So in the Batboat, Robin uses the Bat Radio to divert the missiles being fired at them from the submarine and gets the submarine to come to the surface by firing powerful bat charges. Batman and Robin then beat up the pirates and the villains and throw them overboard

but Batman is heartbroken to discover that Catwoman is actually Miss Kitka. I will say they took too long on that moment. Yeah. And then he was like

no Robin don't say anything and Robin's like yeah. Okay. Yeah. Batman calls the Coast Guard to come up and

collect the villains adrift on the side of the submarine but before that can happen the captive Commodore Schmidlap comes in trips and breaks the vials of dust this part was absurd what did he trip on? he mixed them all together I know he just goes falls into it

it was insane and now they're all one big pile of dust back in the Batcave Batman and Robin use a high tech filter to try to separate falls into it. It's insane. And now they're all one big pile of dust. Back in the Batcave, Batman and Robin use a high-tech filter to try to separate the mingled dust. What a weird problem to have.

It's like we gotta separate these human beings. You already dealt with the actual villains and now you're like separating dust to get these people back? How's that his job?

Yeah. I don't know, but he said if he couldn't do it, it couldn't be done. Nobody else could. Robin suggests that they leave the dust from various members of different races mixed together, seemingly to promote world peace, which is funny because it's like it's their bodies. So it's like, I don't think they're going to mix their ethnicities.

What if you get four arms? Yeah. You know? It's not going to work that way. No. Batman says it's not. It's not up to mortals to make them change the laws of nature. Back at the United Worlds organization, Batman and Robin rehydrate the Security Council.

Also, he's using, like, toxins? Like, water and toxins? Yeah, these people are not going to be the same when they get back to their bodies. They're not going to feel right. They're going to be ill. They're going to be real sick. They don't know where they live. They don't know. are gonna work right am i yeah um so they get rehydrated people all over the world cheer and celebrate and like the strangest english when they're just like success

success we did it um however they discovered that all the security council members speak different languages than they used to bat Batman says that this mixing of minds may be the single greatest service ever performed for humanity, which the Security Council argues amongst itself. Which took a long time. A very long time. This is where I was like, I'm doing my best.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing my best. I think it was like the rule of fives back then. Yeah. Which is like, we've shown three people speaking languages they don't speak. Better do two more. Yeah, I get a little bit more. And it should take five minutes and feel like five hours.

And then instead of Batman and Robin leaving through a door, they open, you watch them open a window. That's right. And then climb down the side of the building. And I was like, for what? It's really unnecessary. Because they also ran to get there. Where it's like, you go on the street.

You can just walk down the elevator. Just go down the elevator. What are you doing? What's going on? They wanted to leave unobtrusively. This is them Irish goodbying. They're like, we don't want anyone to deal with us. We don't want anyone to say thank you.

We've got to go. It was so hard to rehydrate all these people. So the title card ends with a question mark suggesting there's more story to be told, which I'm sure there is. And that was the movie. That was it. Oh my God.

We did it. We did. And it was long. It was very long. One hour and 44 minutes. Look, it was cute. I feel like ultimately... That to me, I'm sorry, but that to me is like a movie length. That's it was cute. I feel like ultimately I was sorry, but that to me

is like a movie length. That's not that crazy. But for what it is. Movies now are all fucking five hours long. That's true. You're absolutely right. No, we're not gonna complain more. Don't worry. Here's the thing. I can watch

a long movie as long as it's like Fast and the Furious and I'm entertained every moment of the way. See, I missed that whole season of our podcast doing that. So I didn't watch those movies except for one. And I don't think I could have handled it. I mean, that's a different. It is a little intense.

I will say Fast X has one of the best performances I've ever seen by Jason Momoa. Wow. He wears gauchos and I've never found someone hotter. Oh my God. So we have a new segment. No way. No way. We're going to read some trivia from the film.

Okay. Are you ready? Can you tell me what you know versus what we know? Okay. Let's do one trivia from you first. Yeah. All right. I think I was going to lead with that he put the makeup on over his mustache.

We knew that. Okay. That is a part of our trivia. Caesar. Yes, yes, yes. Caesar. How do I say it? Caesar.

Caesar Romero. But it was spelled phonetically for me as Caesar. Yes. That's why I asked. So, yeah. But you said it's Caesar. I've always heard it's Caesar Romero. Well, so anyone who thought I was weird for saying it that way, don't blame me.

It was phonetic. I looked on YouTube. I couldn't really find anyone introducing him. I'm sure you did it great. I do love that. He's like, I'll do it, but I'm not changing my life. He's like, my wife likes the mustache. If I shave this, my kids won't recognize me.

Oh, my God. My dad one time shaved his mustache and it was shocking. We all were like, never again It was like, so crazy Do you ever shave yours? Have I seen you without a mustache? I don't think I've ever seen you without a mustache I'm no Cesar Romero, so I can't get away with not shaving it if I get a job but I've had to shave it a couple times for jobs

Do you have pictures? Do you feel weird? Because I remember your old stand-up that though, you didn't have a mustache. No. Oh, yeah. I didn't have a mustache until 2009 was when I grew this mustache. Oh, and did that feel like a big change at the time? You were like, now I'm doing this.

It did, but when I saw it, because I had a beard, and then I shaved away the beard, and I left the mustache, and then it just looked different to me all of a sudden. I was like, this makes sense on my face. It's kind of crazy how men can just do that though and you just have a whole different look. Our friend Don Finnelli had a mustache for a minute and it looked awesome. I was like, oh, I see how it starts.

Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, now you're the dad with the mustache. I'm like, cool. It looks awesome. I had a friend who had a full beard went to an audition. They said, can you shave? Came back shaved and they said, oh no. Well, yeah well yeah sometimes they don't like what's under there I've witnessed that

where people are done like but the beard's kind of doing a lot the beard is doing all the heavy lifting yeah it makes the face what it is

and it made this person's face it was pretty wild permanent beard people should have just a picture of themselves yeah to be like this is what I this is what you want to know

no but you're totally right because it's like don't waste my time. I have to grow this beard back now. You know, like, come on. I don't have time to grow a full beard back. Yeah, it's going to take months. I mean, how long does it take to grow a big bushy beard?

I don't even know. Probably a month. Longer. Two? Right? For a long, solid beard? For a big beard like that? A big bushy beard.

Oh, that is like a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a full head of hair coming out of your chin. To actually grow it to where it's long, it's like, yeah, that takes a long time. Wow. That's a long time. I get little whiskers and they come overnight. Yeah, same. I'm always like, huh?

What if you let them go? Oh, I could never. Oh, it would be so upsetting. No, no, no. Have you ever had it though where you think you've taken care of the situation and you're in the sun and you're like, oh, okay. Have you ever had it, though, where you think you've taken care of the situation, and you're in the sun, and you're like, oh, okay. There's one. Or you touch your face, and you're like, oh, no. I really hope.

I'm going to need to go home now. I need to go. Okay, so here's a little bit of trivia. So Batman premiered at the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas. The Batboat, featured in the film, was created by Austin-based company Glastron. Their payment was having the film premiere in their hometown. Seems like a bad deal.

That's not a good payment. That's a bad deal. You get to see it here first. Who cares? But if you're the producers of the movie, you're like, okay. Yeah.

No problem. That's not paying my mortgage, but I guess at the time, my mortgage was $5, so it's kind of okay. That's right. Yeah. Ooh, this is interesting.

Filming of the movie began before lee merriweather was cast so catwoman does not appear with the other villains in the first scene aboard the penguin submarine oh interesting no did you feel during the film there were many times where she'd go that's perfect and i thought he's gonna figure it out he she's saying I thought so too like kitty I thought he would be like perfect perfect who does that remind me of he was too horned up by her

I know and then like he's like let's rub our backs together and get these ropes off or whatever when they're both that was wild

I was like yeah rub your backs together that'll do it okay so this film I need to know so Eartha Kitt was in the TV show yeah so why wasn't she in the movie?

Why didn't Eartha, and why wasn't she cast? Maybe she was doing another film. Maybe she was, and that's why. Do you know the scoop? I do not know the scoop. Let's find out.

They could not hold onto a catwoman on that show. Yeah, I guess not. I think she was probably in later seasons, because I think the first season was at other shows. Julie Newmar? Oh, thanks for everything. And she had another movie.

Oh, okay, so Julie Newmar was booked. Oh, interesting. And she had another movie. Oh, interesting. And then Leigh Merriweather was never invited back? I don't believe so. Wow, that must hurt. One and done. But she was so pretty. She was so pretty. So this film was released between seasons one and two of the Batman TV series.

Between seasons one and two? That's pretty wild. Wow, they really jumped right into that. A follow-up film was at one point considered between seasons two and three, which would have been used to introduce Barbara Gordon slash Batgirl and make use of the Batplane. However, due to waning interest

in the series during season two, which resulted in budget cuts, plans for a second film were scrapped. That's like nowadays. Yeah. They're really over it really fast. I felt like TV shows ran longer then. I honestly thought this show ran longer than I thought. I honestly thought the show ran longer than that. That feels like let's move on. How long did it

run? I think the show ran longer, but the movie, they didn't make more movies, but there was waning interest. They didn't have enough interest. Like we still watch the show, but we're not fucking leaving our homes to watch longer show. I'm going to Austin, Texas to watch a moviemower Show. I'm going to Austin, Texas

to watch a movie. But like, you can assume most of America was watching it because there's like two channels. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Awards and reception. This Batman earned

$1.7 million in the North American box office sales, which is just over its $1.4 million budget. Wow. Which would be about $13 million now. Wow. William, let's see if I get this.

Dozier. Dozier? Oh. D-O-Z-I-E-R? Yes. But this is how it's spelled phonetically. Dozier. Dozier. William Dozier. Wow, everyone got it but me. Creator of the Batman TV series said in a 1968 interview that the reason for the low box office numbers was

that they were trying to sell something that was already free to the public at home. Wow. Meaning the Batman TV series that was out there airing at the same time. That's so interesting. But it makes sense. Yeah, like streaming is easier than going to the theater. It's kind of the same thing. This is wild.

And then they fixed it and then went back to this. It is funny in that landscape to propose that because there are only three channels, right? The show's on TV and they're like, hey, we made a movie. No one asked us to do this. And we want you

to go pay money to go see it in the theater. I'm sure at the time, people were like, are you insane? I'm sure you're not. because it's also just like a basic story. I guess it's cute,

but if the TV show is just like that, then it's... Yeah, it's not like the production value in the movie is way above

the TV show. No, it feels like TV. 100%. Okay, it currently holds an 81% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 62% audience score. Of course, only one of the critic reviews on Rotten Tomatoes that makes up the score is from the year of the movie's release. So, yeah, it was only reviewed by one man, we can assume.

Probably a man. A Batman? Let's take a break. We're back. We're back. We're going to do a really fun new segment. Okay, so we have these little QR codes here and we just scan them on our phones and it shows us a little quiz

or a little rating scale about this Batman. And we're going to rate each Batman in every episode. And then, you know, over time we'll start to figure out who our favorite Batman is. So in this new segment we're going to rate Adam West on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale. So we're going to rank preparedness.

How prepared is this Batman? Does he get to use his little gadgets and tools? Detective ability. Does this Batman get to be a little detective? Is he good at solving mysteries? Is he good to be a little detective? Is he good at solving mysteries? Is he good to be a little detective? Voice gravelliness. How gravelly is this Batman's voice?

Sadness. How lonely, brooding, or emo is this Batman? And finally, hotness. How hot is this Batman? Okay, so we're going to take a moment here and make our little votes. I'm sorry that I have my sunglasses on, but they're a prescription, and it's the only way I can read. That's okay. Don't ever

apologize for looking cool. I don't want people to think that I'm trying too hard. I don't think so. Please wait for the presenter to show the next slide. Oh, okay. So it combines all of our scores. So we have Adam West's Batman preparedness level is a 98.3.

He's extremely prepared. I mean, he has everything labeled Bat blank. Every single thing in his Batcave was labeled. He's organized. He's organized. He knows what he needs when he needs it. He knows where his stuff is. Detective ability was an 89.3.

I mean, yeah, I thought he was solving things really quickly. He solved things very quick. But there were some things where I was like, how does he not know that's Catwoman? That to me was the only thing where like everything else he figured out pretty quickly. Yeah. Voice gravelliness, we gave him a 6.3%. It wasn't gravelly. It was pretty smooth.

It was smooth and low. It was pretty smooth like butter. It was pretty smooth. It was smooth and low. It was pretty smooth like butter. It was just smooth like a... I thought it was like margarine. His sadness scale was a 7. I mean, he didn't really seem sad. Well, it was just when he realized that he couldn't fuck Catwoman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got sad, but he wasn't sad. That was a temporary feeling. Yeah. His hotness is a 60.7%. I think that's... Who brought it down? I put it at 50%.

I did too. Where'd you get it? I gave him 80%. Aw. I liked him when he was out of his bat attire. Yeah. I felt like he was attractive. I just was kind of going like, you know, thinking if I met him right now, it's like, you know,

I'm just kind of... If Batman walked in here right now, the 1966 Batman Would I be interested? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know, but in the world Maybe I should have rated him in the suit because like in the bat suit, that brings it down for me, but I was like as Bruce Wayne, I guess, yeah, I should have thought of him

as Batman. None of them are really hot in the bat suit, right? Because it's such a it's such an obscuring thing. I will say Sometimes when they have six packs, it's cool. But then it's a molded thing. Who's Batman now? I already forgot. Who's the last Batman?

Robert Pattinson. Yeah, he's hot. The one you love. Yeah, he's really hot in the Batsuit. Also, he does have bat wings at one time, and that made me laugh. I don't know. Maybe none of them are hot.

He has wings? It was weird. I'll have to wait. And I was the only one in the theater who laughed. Maybe I liked it for the wrong reasons. But that doesn't know. Maybe none of them are hot. He has wings? It was weird. I'll have to wait. And I was the only one in the theater who laughed. Maybe I liked it for the wrong reasons. But that doesn't matter. You still had a good time. Okay, five kapows.

It's time for reviews. Newcomers, listener reviews. Now, these are reviews of us. Yes. No. We love to hear compliments. We got five stars from Blue Phlox. Yes, more newcomers. So excited to hear y'all coming back to do Batman. Can't wait to hear compliments. We got five stars from Blue Flocks. Yes, more newcomers.

So excited to hear y'all coming back to do Batman. Can't wait to hear Nicole and Lauren confuse all the Batmans together. What a treat. What a dream. Three hearts. I love you. Yes, I love that. And in addition to doing Apple reviews and newcomers,

we'll also be reading reviews from Letterboxd. And then we're going to give each film a one-sentence review ourselves and a star rating. And if you don't know what Letterboxd is, Paul, do you know what Letterboxd is? I do know what Letterboxd. And then we're going to give each film a one-sentence review ourselves and a star rating. And if you don't know what Letterboxd is, Paul, do you know what Letterboxd is? I do know what Letterboxd is. Great. I'm not going to explain it. Well, what if someone doesn't know?

Okay. It's a social platform where you can write reviews of films. And you can follow the show on Letterboxd at Newcomers. Are either of you on Letterboxd? Absolutely not. But I guess we are as a show. Yes, as a show we are. I feel like I would like to do it, but when I think about sitting down and writing a thing,

that's where it's over for me. It's too much work. Go on vacation. Yeah, just go on vacation instead. Yeah. Do you do Yelp? No. Yeah, I've done Yelp a few times, but usually only to help someone where they're like, oh,

if you liked this, give me five stars. I'm like, great, and I'll go write a thing. But no. i won't i don't have the time yeah but you know i'll read a review on yelp well i use yelp all the time of course um but you know okay so letterboxd is where these will exist we will read some from other people first and then we'll give our own so paul think about what you want to rate the movie. This is from Emma Stefanski. Reject modernity. Riddler in a gimp mask and normal clothes.

Embrace tradition. Riddler in a lime green three-piece suit with question marks all over it. You'll find out. Okay. Reject what? You'll find out. Remember these words though. Remember these words. A gimp mask? Because they will come Okay. You'll find out. Remember these words, though. Remember these words. A gimp mask?

Because they will come back to you. I will not remember these words. Okay. Oh, you think you won't. You think you won't. You'll see. All right, well, this is from Branson Reese. I know him.

I do, too. What? Well, coincidentally, one of the hosts of Rude Tales of Magic, a HeadGum Dungeons & Dragons show, reviewed this movie in 2005. Thank you, Branson. This is the only Batman movie that makes any goddamn sense. Wow. Hot take. I love it.

Okay. I love that. So, who wants to go first? I'll do it. I don't care. Okay. What's the rating system? Sorry. It's five stars. Four stars. Three stars. Two stars. One star.

And what does each one of those mean? One star means, nah. Two stars means, meh. Three stars means, okay. Four stars means, hoo-woo. Five stars means, I love it. Okay. Hoo-woo is lower than I love it? Yeah.

I feel like hoo-woo is like, I don't even have words anymore to tell how much I love it. Okay. Woo is lower than I love it? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like woo-woo is like, I don't even have words anymore to tell how much I love this thing. Woo-woo. It's a soft one. Woo. It's like, that's pretty good. Woo. Woo.

That's pretty good. Can they hear me? I like it. I like it. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Is this a haiku? one sentence review is kitschy, campy, 60s fun, bat universe origins. Is this a haiku? Yeah. It's really long. And

very cute and fun. Enjoyable romp for all. My star rating is I give it look, here's why I always get tripped up by star ratings. I want to talk about this because I know I'm going to be rating everything and it's like if I say something

is too high it's like if I say it's too high I'm like well of course I'm going to like the 90s one better than this probably you know it's like so well we don't know but I'm just saying I probably will but I guess I'm supposed to rate it in a vacuum yeah okay so I'd give it in a vacuum I'd. Okay. So I'd give it in a vacuum.

I'd give it four stars because I think it's actually like really fun for the time and fun for what it is. And I enjoyed myself. So there we go. I'm going to give it two stars. I walked in giving it no stars, but then I talked about it and I was like, actually wasn't that bad.

That happens to us a lot with this show because we always are like when we talk it through we're like that was cool yeah and also

I'm watching these alone with my dog who's just staring at me I'm like I have to watch this Clyde yeah and then I don't have anyone to like

be like that was dumb right right does he ever watch the movie with you barely barely he's just looking at you

the whole time sometime last night he looked at me the whole time because i just got back from vacation sat in front of the tv and he was like what is this yeah you're not gonna play with me not one just leave me and then you just come and you're very very was it neglectful yeah um okay my one sentence review is yuck not really i love it oh my nose supposed to be one sentence review is, yuck, not really. I love it. Oh, mine was supposed to be one sentence.

That's where I got fucked up. Yeah. It went on way too long. It's okay. I liked it. Okay, fine. Those are commas. Yeah, it was.

No periods. It was commas, yeah. Yeah. No, it was definitely not a sentence. You're right. If that helps. You're right. There was no.

It's not that there was too many sentences. Yeah. There were no parts of a sentence involved. You're right. You're right. None of it made sense. It was just words. just words wait how many stars oh two two two two solid i think i'm gonna give this four stars and i'm gonna say uh my one sentence review is forget all the darkness come into the. That's really what it is.

I like that. It's just a silly good time. And we do get so much darker with Batman later. It's all black. He's dressed up as a bat. You can barely see. You are right. It's ridiculous.

He's dressed up as a bat. It is wild to see where it started to where it's ended. And we can all thank that Oppenheimer man. Who's that? Christopher Nolan. Yeah, right? Because he did them? Yes.

He made them dark and gritty? Yeah, he made them, yes. There was, around the time of the Tim Burton movies, the comic books got a little dark. That's when the

Dark Knight Rises had come out, I think, the Frank Miller thing that was like a Batman, it takes place in the future where he's retired and he's gotten out of the crime fighting game

and then he gets back into it because the world is crazy or whatever and so that sort of that was the first super dark iteration of Batman although I mean it starts out in the 30s where he's like I want to terrify criminals so I'm going to dress up as a big bat

and scare them which works in a drawing. Yeah. But also it's pretty funny that he thinks that outfit is going to terrify anybody. It's not scary at all. I know. That's the thing is that by the time they got to this it's like it's a comic book. But are they... Is that supposed

to be funny how it's not scary how he has it? Oh yeah. By this point the emphasis is not on Batman is like a terrifying figure of the night. You know he's like

like the shit is goofy. He's a rich guy who's born. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like when you see there's iterations of

the Batcave where he has all these treasures from his different not treasures but keepsakes from different cases that he's worked and like there's a big giant

penny and there's like a statue of a dinosaur. It's like, it was silly. Like, it was silly shit. Yeah. Your life is silly, Batman. Yeah. And everything you've done is lame.

Like, they never mentioned that his parents got murdered in the 60s. No, they're not going dark with that. When does that get mentioned? In what movie? Do you know? Well, don't spoil it. Oh, just kidding.

Don't tell me. You're going to see very soon. Yes. There's so much I want to say to you guys, but I don't want to spoil anything. I don't want to taint your experiences of the movies that are coming. Yeah. But I am, honestly, I'm very interested in seeing what you like and what you don't like because I don't think I can predict it.

Yeah, I don't think I can either because when I had to watch this one, I went, oh, no. And then I was like, I'm having fun. So, you know, you never know. But I look forward to other ones that I might not like. Well, I'll never forget. Scott Aukerman was like, you're going to love Infinity War. You'll be really impressed with the Star Wars. No, with Marvel shit.

He was right. Yeah. And I still really love the blip. The blip was amazing. The blip was great. The blip was a really exciting part of everything. I love that blip. The blip was amazing. The blip was great. The blip was a really exciting part of everything. I love that blip. The blip changed lives.

Although I did try to watch Gardens of the Galaxy, the third one. We didn't have to watch that? No, because it just came out. But I turned in my Marvel card. I'm done. You're done watching them now. I can't do it anymore.

I thought I liked them. I thought I was on board after doing it. We were indoctrinated by the podcast. We were're like we like them because we're watching so many and then like then then like life goes back and you're like i don't watch this yeah it was really wild i was like on a plane i was like this is what is this yeah yeah all right well i encourage everyone out there to please write us a review on apple Podcasts of our podcast, please. And we will pick one every week to read on the episode. Every week? Yes.

Every single week for 14 weeks. You can't do that. It can happen. We're going to do it. You'll never be able to do it. If 14 people do it, we can. Yeah. We just need 14 people.

Good luck. Yeah. We'll see. That's just two weeks of people. Rated on Spotify, which takes 0.2 seconds. You literally just press the stars and move on. And of course, listen to Threedom and Neighborhood Listen.

Any other podcasts you have out there in the world now? Stay of Homekins. Stay of Homekins, which my wife, Janie, had at Tompkins. And you have a sub stack and a Patreon. We have a sub stack where we do extra stuff. We did a recap series of And Just Like like that it's so

funny I have a whole ritual where I will watch and just like that then I immediately listen to your recap then I listen to the official podcast of the show where they talk the writers talk about it because I like to hear all the different perspectives and I can't get enough so it's just great yeah it's really

fun we watch it then we immediately start recording it's really very funny It's really fun. We watch it, and then we immediately start recording. It's really good. It's very funny. I like that. That show is bad. I love it. But if they put out an episode every single day, I would watch it. If they put out an episode every day for the rest of my life, I would watch it. That's what I want.

I want it every day, every day the rest of my life. Yeah, and I'm excited. I want to see what happens in their lives forever. I went on vacation, so I'm two episodes back, and I cannot wait to get caught up. And the Aiden stuff life. Yeah. And I'm excited. I want to see what happens in their lives forever. I went on vacation so I'm two episodes back and I cannot wait to get caught up. And the Aiden stuff is so good.

Oh my God. Okay, so obviously They're so in love so quickly. And the way they wrote Aiden I was like someone in the room is an original writer.

He's like, what up buttercup? And I'm like, I know. I know. I know. He's so him. I love him

I'm obsessed okay so we're gonna be back of course that lit us up like a fire but we're gonna be back next week with the 1989 Batman so we will see you then and we're so excited bye Newcomers is a production of HeadGum Studios

our producer is Ali Khan our executive producer is Anya Konevskaya the show is edited, mixed and mastered by Faris Manji who also composed our theme song follow us on Letterboxd at Newcomers and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We might just read it on the next show. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bye! That was a Hiddem Original.