Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Batman Returns (w/ Karen Han)

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Lauren and Nicole continue their deep dive into the Batman universe with very special guest Karen Han (Author of BONG JOON HO: DISSIDENT CINEMA) covering 1992’s Batman Returns. Michael Keaton reprises his role as Batman, Danny DeVito reigns supreme over a sewer colony of penguins, and Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman whip stunt work is the definition of a one-take-wonder. What more could you possibly ask for?Next week's movie: Mask of the Phantasm (1993). Follow Karen: Instagram, TwitterLike the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. I've been down here too long. It's time for me to ascend. From the sewers of Gotham, a new villain emerges. In the waters of Gotham, a new villain emerges. You didn't invite me, so I crashed! From the rooftops of Gotham, the perfect enemy comes to life. The perfect enemy comes to life.

I am Catwoman. Hear me roar. Meow. And the only one who can save this city... is a creature of the night. Hey, stud. I thought we had something together. We do. While she craves a romance,

she can sink her claws into... You can't nudge a girl like me. ...he plots a foul reign of destruction. My dear penguins, thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish all of Gotham! Above Gotham looms its greatest hero. I forgot what we were doing. Batman Returns! Forgot what we were doing. Well, that was really good, actually. I think so, too. I practiced a little bit in the shower.

It was honestly so good that it threw me, and then I forgot that I was supposed to say a different thing at the end. Thank you. Yeah, it was really good. I tried. I'm Lauren Lapkus. I'm Nicole Byer.

And this season of Newcomers, we are covering the Batman movies. Yeah, wow. Wow. These movies are exhausting. This is the third episode of our sixth season. I can't believe I've watched. It was a sixth season? Yeah.

I've watched a lot of garbage. Yeah, we really, it's all things we avoided our entire lives. So it's pretty crazy. For a good reason. I know. So we're working our. For a good reason. I know. So we're working our way through the Batman universe. We're going to have fellow newcomers, super fans, maybe people who've contributed. And this season will be 14 episodes culminating in a very exciting live stream episode.

So exciting. I'm scared. We'll cover as much as we can get to to get an overview of the franchise. Obviously, we're not going to get to everything because Batman is a very deep world. It goes on and on. Yeah. But today we'll be discussing the second Tim Burton Batman movie, Batman Returns, starring Michael Keaton. Yes.

And the music was by Danny Elfman and the one before it was by Prince. Weird fucking choice. No, I like Tim Burton so much that it does a lot for me in these movies. Hmm. I'm not a Burton head. Interesting. So maybe that's why I wasn't feeling these movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, Batman Returns. We'll get into it. Don't worry. We'll dissect. We're going to get into the nitty gritty. So Batman Returns is available with a subscription to Max, Hulu, Prime Video. You can watch it for a fee on Apple TV+. Don't know why you'd do that or Google Play or Vudu.

We're going to spoil it. So either watch it or don't. Yeah. I mean, you might. I think there are people out there who listen to this show who don't want to watch the thing and want to know what happens. There's definitely a world where that's a thing. Which is very funny.

I like it. I've always wanted to watch it, but I'd rather listen to people talk about it. I think it's like, my boyfriend's obsessed and I don't care, but I want to know what's going on. That feels like the world. So we're doing a service to ladies everywhere. We are. And some gentlemen who aren't as nerdy.

And some non-binary people who don't want to be in it. Literally everyone loves our show. So we're so excited for our guest today. Karen Han is a culture writer and screenwriter whose work has appeared in outlets such as the New York Times, ever heard of it? Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, and New York Magazine. And she is the author of the book Bong Joon-ho Dissident Cinema. Welcome back, Karen.

Yay, we're so glad you're here. We're going to talk Dissident Cinema. Welcome back, Karen. Yay. We're so glad you're here. We're going to talk about Batman Returns. I was so excited to get this metaphorical call to come back. Oh, my God. OK, so what is your relationship to the character of Batman or to DC Comics in general? I would say I like Batman a lot of the DC characters. I feel like he's my favorite, mostly because the villains are so good, which I feel like we'll probably talk about in this episode. Can you just throw out some DC characters? I was just thinking that. I was like, I only know

of Batman. I'm like, I think I like DC more than Marvel after getting into this. Yeah, but I don't know. Who else? Superman's the big one. Yes, Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, The Flash are the big ones. Aqu, Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, The Flash are the big ones. Aquaman.

No, see, I famously always thought Aquaman was only from Entourage. That's fair. He goes to star in that movie, and I was like, they made up a fake superhero for Entourage. I didn't watch Entourage, but I did watch Aquaman on a plane, and there was an octopus playing the drums. Yeah. And I laughed really hard. That was terrific. I've never seen it, so I don't know.

But I do know. I can't tell you a single thing else that happens in the movie. Yeah. I've seen Entourage three times. Really? All of it? That's impressive. That's probably my most toxic trait.

Did I tell you I was on a plane with Jeremy Piven and he screamed at a flight attendant? No. What? The flight attendant said, would you like water? And he said, I'll let you know what I want.? And he said, I'll let you know what I want. And I was like, I'll let you know what I want. It was wild.

It was American Airlines. We went to the same high school, different years. I'm sure he yelled at a teacher or two. Okay, so you love Batman, but let's talk about Spider-Man. No, I'm kidding.

Let's talk about this movie really quickly before we really get into it. Is this a movie that you care about, you've loved? Yeah. How do you feel about it?

I like it a lot. I love this movie. I love the Tim Burton Batman movies in general. I love the Batman movies in general, I guess. But this one, I'm like,

I do think it's just objectively good as opposed to like it's a good Batman movie or it's a good superhero movie. I do think it's a good movie which I feel like is going to be controversial but I'm so excited because I feel like

I have no idea what's to come and so I guess we're kind of watching it like people in real time yeah yeah what's coming out in theaters next like we're literally like this is the first image of Batman that we have and I mean I personally really enjoyed it.

I really like Michael Keaton. I really like Tim Burton. So I feel like it is a combination of a lot of things I enjoy. And I think this Tim Burton stylistic choices make me really happy and feel like cozy. And like I'm watching just like a solid movie like Edward Scissorhands. I did like Edward Scissorhands. Mm hmm. I think that's the only

Tim Burton movie that I've been like mmm yummy I'm not a huge Burton head I was going to ask coming into this we've covered the Burton angle now but do you like Michael Keaton I love him but I'm also kind of like what do I love him from

I guess it's like Beetlejuice but I can't name a ton of movies. I'm like, can I name a single one? But I just like him. Because I've never seen Beetlejuice. Right. You've never seen Beetlejuice. That's a fun one.

I know Michael Keaton. Right. What do I know him from? Mr. Mom. No. Mr. Mom. Yeah. Wait, what other movies has Michael Keaton been in? Well, I just heard about a good one today called Night Shift. That's supposed to be really fun. Never. Yeah. Wait, what other movies has Michael Keaton been in?

Well, I just heard about a good one today called Night Shift that's supposed to be really fun. Never seen that. Never seen it. He was in Spotlight. Yes, never seen that. Birdman. Birdman. I've seen Birdman.

I was going to say Birdman a second ago, but I went, where am I just thinking that? Because he's Batman. From Batman to Birdman. That's a weird evolution. That's his life. That's so funny. I guess I know him from one movie. I know.

Well, I actually learned, I learned today that he was a stand-up first. He was a stand-up? Yes. I don't know Michael Keaton at all. No, and I also learned from someone that people were upset that he was Batman. Yeah, yeah.

Before they saw him in it. They did not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was before fan campaigns could change casting. Yeah. Oh, people would have changed. They like wrote in about it. Oh my God. But this was before fan campaigns could change casting. Yeah. Oh, people would have changed. They like wrote in about it. Oh, my goodness.

But it's too late. No one can see it. Wait, did Tim Burton only do two Batmans? Yes. Oh, I see. So we're done with the Tim Burton universe. Wow. Okay.

Oh, I'm sad. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't wait to see what you guys think of the two that follow this one. What are they? It's Batman Forever and Batman... Batman Forever I know about, but I don't... I've never seen it. You like the soundtrack? I like the soundtrack. Okay. guys think of the two that follow this one so what are they uh it's batman forever forever i know about but i don't i've never you like the soundtrack okay that's i mean that's fair yeah yeah best part or the best part the music i have no idea what happens in those i know that

the man from a csi chris something o'donnell chris o'd something like that. He's in one, and Alicia Silverstone's in another. Yeah, and I loved her, and I loved him, and I said, I shan't see it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm a big fan of everyone involved, and I won't be watching. Can't do it. Can't do it.

All right, well, let's jump to a quick break, and we are going to come back with the entire plot of Batman Returns, and I can't wait for you to hear it everyone out there. Okay. We're back. So Batman Returns was released June 19th, 2000, no 1992.

I'm truly looking at this and I was like, that's not a real year. Written by Daniel Daniel Waters directed by Tim Berton so thank you to the Batman fandom wiki for help with this summary I know Anya had to really narrow it down

so much happened it's a long film so I laid down to watch it last night and then I was like let me go on my phone first because I'm really actively not going on my phone while I watch yes and then I that was 40 minutes and then I literally pressed play and I was like it's two

hours and then I'm like no we have so late I just was like I just screwed myself over I did the same thing I was like phone time first because I'm gonna John Milhiser was like I need you to pay attention to one of my favorite movies Mike literally was like you can't be on your phone when you watch the movies. And I was like, I know.

No, really. And I was like, I already thought about how I'm not going to. He's like, yeah, right. I was like, no, I really thought about it. I was like, it's my plan. It's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to look at it. But I want to.

But the second I do, it's like I've missed everything. I'm gone. I'm now in an Instagram hole. But then I started it again with, like you, I was like, this is too damn long. So then I started it again this morning at 8 a.m. And I did not finish it until about 11.30. Okay, can I say that's not helping you like it? That's fair.

That's fair. I kept falling asleep. On both sides, morning and night. And morning's fair i kept falling asleep oh on both sides morning and night and morning and night kept falling asleep i passed out during the other one i was just like oh i can't get enough sleep i guess if i want to sleep i'll put on batman wait here's another question though to get into this what did you guys think of batman so are you on a high note coming into this movie or yeah i mean i'm pretty okay at this point because i liked the previous one okay enough um and i'm more familiar with this one i had definitely seen it as a kid but like so i was kind of like i like cat woman like i was kind of like let me i think this will be good

i'm coming into it kind of like not dreading it like i felt pretty excited to watch it yeah i came in hot with anger that I needed to watch this. That's fair. I really, I didn't like the first one, really. Yeah, there was just things I didn't like. So I was like, this is going to be terrible for me. But I did like the beginning. Yeah.

That was fun for me. Yeah. The little basket. Paul Reubens. Yeah. That was Paul Reubens? Yeah. Wow. She doesn't recognize any. Here little basket. Paul Reubens. Yeah. That was Paul Reubens? Yeah. Wow.

She doesn't recognize any. Here's what I recognize in this movie. At the end the man from the train in the movie Ghost has a very big part in this movie. And I was like oh my god get off my train. A really fun part. You've probably seen that movie a hundred times. Oh yeah. Oh yeah baby. To the point where he flashed

on screen. I was like my friend He actually was like Jealous of his part Because he had that Like thing with Like the machine gun Coming out of it And I was like

This is a cool part Like he got to like Be cool They don't have Character actors The way they used to It's not the same And it's not fair

This is why I love this Because I was like I want to be in this This is like a really fun Everyone gets to do Something weird Everyone's got a fun costume You could say or do anything And it like works It's like It's really cool I want to be in this. This is like a really fun, everyone gets to do something weird. Everyone's got a fun costume.

You could say or do anything and it like works. It's like, it's really cool. I will say thematically, I did enjoy it. I really did like the costumes and then like watching the credits, it was like some people

had personal costumers and personal makeup artists. And I was like, oh, I love that. You accommodated somebody with the way they wanted to look with the people who they worked best with.

Yeah. And I thought that this film had a lot of collaboration, maybe. And I liked that a lot. Yeah. And Catwoman, I guess. Okay. I really liked Catwoman and I really liked Danny DeVito. Give them a spin off.

They're both amazing. They were really great. They're amazing. And the costumes are so. I mean, Michelle Pfeiffer, she looks so beautiful when she's a nerd and when she's the cowgirl. I was like, it's not fair. You can't be both. But then I was confused because I was like, what happened to other glasses lady who's

also a blonde? You mean Kim Basinger? Yeah. Oh, I wondered that too because they referenced her a little bit, but then I was like, they broke up, I guess. He's down for whatever. It wasn't that long with her. I don't know.

Yeah. I feel like the implication is like, he told her, she figured out that he's Batman, and then was like, actually, no. Thanks. Yeah, it's like the mystery's gone. It didn't work out. That's funny. But they always figure out that it's him.

Yeah. But like, maybe that's what it is. He's like, once people figure out who I am, really. We gotta talk about when he reveals it. We'll get there. Oh, when he ripped off his mask and you could see the rip marks? I was like, this is not durable.

Just bring up several questions. Like, how many of those do you have? Well, we saw it when he picked out. He has like four. He had a bunch and I was like, what denotes the one to wear today? Yeah, and can you stop ripping them off to reveal your head?

Also, how much do these cost? Do you have to rip to get out of it in general? Oh my God, imagine they're all Tara ways and he has to like peel out every day. He's wasting that. And Winston or whatever his name is. Also, on top of it on top of it not

being durable and ripping it off Catwoman's little makeshift claw really got at him and I was like but you could take a bullet? You got sliced through that fucking thing? Wild. Like foam. I know. We got to just tell everyone what happens because we're jumping ahead. So we're really starting at the beginning.

So after seeing their son kill their pet cat, Tucker and Esther Cobblepot, which is Paul Robbins. Snatched the cat into its jail crib and ate it? Yeah. I was like, you've already set up your child for this. Right. Like you put him in a little cage. Yeah, it's like, you've already set up your child for this. Right. Like, you put him in a little cage. Yeah, because it had

weird claws. Which came first, the eating the cat or being locked in a cage? Like, I'd eat a cat if I got locked in a cage for long enough. Exactly.

So they're an aristocratic couple. They throw him into the river and we later learn that a flock of penguins living in the sewers underneath Gotham City rescued him and raises him. 33 years later, the child

becomes the criminal penguin Danny DeVito. One, not 33. Okay. Unless the penguins are living rough, you are not 33 years old. His ass is his back. It truly is. His knees are his chest. He looks like

a sack of potatoes. He's the weirdest guy. It's the funniest time skip possible because they're like 33 years later. And Danny DeVito's like in his late 40s. Yeah. Why is it just say 40 years later? It's just what happens when you live in the sewer. Or like many years later.

But also, I was like, these penguins changed a diaper? These penguins sewed some clothes? Well, I don't think he had a clean diaper. I feel like that's a lot of his anger is that he didn't. His teeth are black. Yeah, they are. And he's maybe the ugliest person I've ever seen in my life. His whole thing.

Then I was like, because we talked about fucking the previous Penguin in 1966. Yes. Rather fuck that one. I would rather fuck that one. I could not fuck Danny DeVito looking like that. It would be so scary. That's not to say I would not fuck Danny DeVito looking like that it would be so scary that's not to say i would not fuck danny devito because out of the makeup i would yeah he's an attractive man very charming uh so we all agree we love danny devito okay

next we meet max shrek christ Christopher Walken, a corrupt businessman. Amazing cast. Who is proposing a power plant project to Gotham's mayor who rejects the idea. We also meet the timid and frazzled Selina Kyle, Michelle Pfeiffer, his secretary, who tries to interject with a proposal but then gets rebuffed. Max and the mayor then speak at the Gotham Christmas tree lighting. And I was like, is this a Christmas movie? First thing I was like, this is a Christmas movie? First thing I was like, this is a Christmas movie. This can be on every Christmas.

Christmas is the whole time. Yes. It's Christmas. It's the whole time. It's completely lit. Which gets literally lit. I literally meant lights. It's completely lit. Which gets interrupted by the appearance of a giant fake Christmas tree revealing a gang of criminals dressed as clowns and skeletons

who shoot at the crowd. Okay, don't we love them? They are very fun. They were really fun. I liked how that was, I liked that theme for them. And then I also liked, my question was, the skeletons with the big head, is that their head or is that a mask? Because then they'd get hit and they'd be spinning around.

I'm like, is that its head? I think it might have been a mask gotta be a mask I like the idea of those being like just freaks freaks with like weird heads but they like planned for being hit with the mask like okay if we get smacked the eyes have to do this let's see the police turn on

the bat signal and Batman Michael Keaton races to the scene I gotta say the way Batman flies and lands is so stupid. With a zip line? Just the way he lands with his little feet together and his like arms out. And then the cape is so big. I'm like, this is truly his car.

Okay. Yes. The car is beautiful. It was reminding me of those nineties pencil cases where like the, like things would pop out. Cause he was like getting every guy with like a piece of it. Yeah. That car is beautiful. It was reminding me of those 90s pencil cases where like the things would pop out because he was like getting every guy with like a piece of it. Yeah. Yeah.

And it was like, oh, that just took me back. Okay. One of the clowns tries to take Selena hostage, but Batman saves her and also asks her her weight. Wait, is that the first movie? Dude, both movies did that. Both movies did that. The first, the previous one that we already watched is like, he's like, how much do you

weigh? And she's like 108. And then he takes her and he's like, I didn't. And I actually was like, you aren't 108. I didn't think so either. And then he's like how much do you weigh and she's like 108 and then he takes her and he's like I actually was like you aren't 108 I didn't think so either and then he's like you really weren't 108 and I was like

this is really weird and then this one she's like they think Catwoman weighs 140 and I was like why is that the thing it's weird

I'm like they're already beautiful blonde women let them live it has nothing to it's just so annoying she's like so skinny I know and it was just weird

because it wasn't like the point he was making. They were like saying that Batman kept messing up or something. I was like, it should be something kind of comparable for her

with the news. Like it shouldn't be that they said she was 140 pounds. I don't think they would even say that. No, that's an interesting news report. Yeah. They guessed her weight. New villain, 140 pounds.

I can't. It sucks. Anyway. I know, it's so weird. The criminals kidnapped Shrek, which I just like that it was Shrek. It is funny that his name is Shrek. Add a nice layer. And we see that they were sent by the Penguin.

Penguin blackmails Shrek with evidence of his corporate crimes into helping him become a citizen of Gotham. Meanwhile, Max finds out that Selena has found out about Max's plans to build a power plant, which will drain gotham city of its electricity which is like what i know when i was really confused by that scene because she's like i'm just working late and then i guess your password pulling all your files and then she's like and it looks like you have this horrible plan that i respect and then i just didn't get why i mean it was it's all the origin story of her becoming catwoman but i just didn't get why. I mean, it's all the origin story of her becoming Catwoman,

but I just didn't see how we got there exactly. But whatever. So Max tries to get rid of her by pushing her out of a window. This was violent. I was shocked by that. Violent. They're having a sort of, what's the word? Like an intimate conversation where he looks like he might lean in and kiss her. And then he's also being really mean.

And then he laughs. And then he pushes her when she's like got her defenses down yes and it's actually pretty crazy she falls very far so far the shrek the shrek mascot is a big cat which i thought was really cute and fun i wish more things were like that like it was just like stores that had like i wish like sears had like a big fun mascot, you know? I don't, Sears would. I don't think it exists anymore. I think it does some in some places, maybe like Minnesota. Let's go to Sears and then the Applebee's.

And Kohl's. And Kohl's. And Kohl's. So he pushed her out the window, but she lands on the ground. She clearly would have been dead, but she has no blood at all. And then a flock of alley cats lick her corpse reviving her. She returns home. I love her apartment.

Me too. And I love her whole little like quirkiness in her apartment. Yes. And she gets home and she has her little like phrase where she's like,

hi honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. Oh, you're married. I'm married. And she's cute and now she's kind of like dazed and crazed and she becomes triggered

by a telemarketer ad for perfume manufactured by one of Shrek's subsidiaries and wrecks her apartment which was a really fun scene. Yeah. And she then triggered by a telemarketer ad for perfume manufactured by one of Shrek's subsidiaries and wrecks her apartment, which was a really fun scene. And she then goes in her closet and makes a cat suit out of black vinyl becoming Catwoman. And she is maybe the hottest person ever. She's so hot. It's true.

It's crazy. It's nuts. It's so hot. I also really liked that she pulls out this trench coat and then starts sewing it and you see the thread is white. Yeah. So, like, it then makes sense later. I know, it was so cool. I really, really liked it. Okay. And she knocks

out, she has like a neon sign that says hello there. The sign is iconic. And it's L here. Lauren, wow. I was like, how'd they come up with that? I think it was really collaborative. I think Tim Burton's, Tim Burton? Tim Burton was like, oh, I'll hear an idea.

And whatever set dresser or set designer was like, this. And he was like, yes. Does she say hello there or ever? I don't think so. I didn't know if that was her phrase or something. No, right? I think it was just a cute neon sign in her apartment. I liked it.

I also loved the head-to-toe rose gold pink. Everything was just, oh, I loved it. Meanwhile, Shrek arranges for the Penguin to rescue the mayor gold pink. Everything was just I loved it. Meanwhile, Shrek arranges for the penguin to rescue the mayor's infant child from his own gang members to integrate penguin with Gotham citizens. The plan works, which is so wild. And Penguin becomes a hero to all except Bruce Wayne, who remains skeptical. It's like so easy. Yes. For him to become.

Yeah. Gotham citizens are dumb. I just I'm like, he's clearly penny-wise at Jason. He climbs out of his sewer. He's disgusting. His teeth are sharp and black. But he saved a baby. What's the problem?

That thing was so weird. They took the baby from the woman and she's like, ah! I'm like, okay, that's terrifying. A joker just took it down to the sewer yeah and she's like oh and like i'm like okay that's terrifying just a joker just took it down to the sewer and then it comes up in the arms of the most vile creature and she's like huh i was like watching the woman she's like yay the dialogue does so much work where the clown's like oh no the penguin don't hurt me here's the baby and then the penguin comes up and it's like okay okay it's funny that he

doesn't try to class himself up no he never brushes his teeth brushes his hair brush your hair your teeth

I mean I'm jumping ahead a little a little concealer the entire scene where Max Schreck has set up his campaign and then like brings him down as a surprise

and he's still wearing that onesie and it's like you wouldn't tell him to change like at all he has like a dirty ass like it's like so gross and it's like why white white gets dirty i know penguins are black i think he has one outfit i think that's it yeah and the penguins no do we think those were people inside there or were they there's some i believe it's some animatronics some

people and some real ones whoa okay the scene when we see his lair initially, and then there's like penguins like diving all around. It looks so cool. Yeah. I guess those are real. Yeah. Apparently, the penguins had a great time on the movie, because by the time the movie ended, they'd had a bunch of babies, which is like a sign that they're happy.

Oh, how cute. How wild. They were like, we love our leader. Danny DeVito. They want to stay there. They got put back in the wild. They're like, no. Where's Danny Danny DeVito. They want to stay there. They got put back in the wild. Where's Danny?

Where's my dad? Where's Penguin? So Bruce goes to see Shrek. And I do picture Donkey like every time I see Shrek. So he goes to talk about the power plant proposal and the Penguins gang. And their conversation is interrupted by Selina, who has a whole new disposition and haircut. And both men are clearly taken aback by her. Bruce seems smitten and Shrek is obviously surprised she's still alive.

And I love that Bruce is immediately like, this lady seems a little unhinged. Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah, I know. He loves it. It's like borderline the wolf. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

And also, can we talk about Shrek's son? He's so great. He's just like doing a Christopher Walken impression. Yeah, yeah. Like the tall blonde guy who at the beginning is like, Dad, run for your life. I can't do this. Dad, run for your life.

That choice is so perfect. To cast someone who looks like a bodybuilder and then he sounds like that. It's amazing. I know, it's so funny. Putting on a melodramatic show for the press in a cemetery, Penguin publicly forgives his parents, reveals that his name is actually Oswald Cobblepot. That made me laugh so hard.

And wins more hearts and minds, becoming a media sensation. I was like, truly, these people are idiots. Shrek decides to use Oswald's fame to his own advantage, persuading him to run for mayor, which is insane, to remove the final obstacle to building a new power plant. Yeah. Okay, we'll just keep going here for a second. So as part of his election campaign,

Penguin sends his Red Triangle Circus gang to start a riot. Like, why is Penguin's gang clowns? Why? I don't, is that a thing from the, like, do you know? Not really. It's not really a thing i believe they made up some stuff for this movie and the idea is that they met at some indeterminate point prior to the movie happening and get along okay i thought it worked because it was just it

was just chaotic enough for me to feel i just wish it was more like duck bird like things like that duck thing he wrote oh Oh, I screamed. I love a duck. The duck car is amazing. Oh, you went to that rubber duck store in Amsterdam? Oh. I was jealous of that. I cried.

Oh my God. There were so many ducks. Oh my God. And I love ducks. Did you get a bunch? I got so many that when I flew out of the Amsterdam airport, they flagged my bag, took them out one by one and laughed at me. No.

Because I had a Sonic duck. It looks like you're running a carnival game laughed at me. No. Because I had a Sonic duck. It looks like you're running a carnival game. You had a Sonic duck? I got a Sonic duck. A shared duck with a dress by Bob Quacky. If I could turn quack time. Oh my God. Screamed.

Do you put them in the tub? No. Okay. Those are collector's items. Yeah. I'm leaving shared duck in her box. Shared duck. Wait. I did not know this about you. Very quickly, is it just rubber ducks or is it just duck in general?

Boy, I love a beautiful duck. I feel like you're alone in that. Oh, I'm fully alone. I don't think I've ever heard anyone be like, I love ducks. Yeah, it's a weird thing. I like it that you like it. A beach duck, a pink duck. I call every bird a duck. A flamingo is a like it. A beach duck, a pink duck. I call every bird a duck.

A flamingo's a pink duck. A beach duck is a seagull. I just love a bird. Anything that flies. Anything that flies has a wing. They get to be free. But not bats? Bats aren't ducks. The classification of it flies and has wings. That's the dumbest sentence. You are

right. You are fully right. And I responded with something wild and dumb. Bats aren't ducks. But no, you're right. I mean, I understand. Bats aren't ducks. And this is where we learn I'm insane. No, I mean, everything I've said so far is horrible.

So let's see. Where did I leave off? So they're prepping for his campaign. Okay. Oh, the last. Okay. So they're okay. Where did I leave off? They're prepping for his campaign. Okay. Oh, the last. Okay. So they're okay.

Okay. Batman tries to fight the gang to regain order, pulling out a batarang to attack a bunch of the criminals at once. What's a batarang? Oh, it's the thing. It's a Frisbee that the dog catches. Yeah. Meanwhile, Catwoman uses the chaos to vandalize Shrek's department store to get her revenge on Shrek's department store to get her revenge on Shrek

Outside the store Batman and Penguin confront one another but soon Catwoman sidles up and the department store explodes behind her Penguin escapes

by flying off on his umbrella which he has a bunch of those What I like is that Batman full stops and watches him go and I'm like I would also

not rush to my next appointment Yeah and I do wonder like you're kind of wondering if he's going to slip off. Yeah. Is his strength like that good? Yeah. So he leaves Catwoman and Batman to fight it out.

And Catwoman sticks her claws into Batman's stomach. And he pushes her off a rooftop. But a truck carrying kitty litter saves her fall. Now, do you feel like that's not how you transport kitty litter? And I know. Well, no. I mean, but do you does that that scene to me was like that was really imprinted in my mind from childhood i don't know where the fall

yeah the kitty litter thing where she's like i don't know what saved by some kitty yeah yeah yeah but i feel like that played a lot in my life or something i don't know i no one relates so it's not quite yeah it's fine i like that scene because she was like on the floor and she's like, you're hitting a woman. And he's like, oh, sorry. And then she's like, hi-yah! I love that. He's so quickly, it's like, you're totally right. Which is so wild.

I'm like, this woman's trying to kill you. And then I did like her like damaging the stuff in the store with her little whip. Yeah. And we were talking beforehand about how there's that, you can watch that scene online of her like nailing that shot, where she just hits, every single mannequin head off. I'm like, that must have felt amazing.

Yeah. You practice your whip work, and then you like, nail it, and get all of them in one. She's perfect. She's so perfect. If only I could do that.

The next day, Penguin and Catwoman, collaborate to, on a plan to frame, Batman as a criminal, rather than kill him. Meanwhile, Bruce and Selina, run into each other on the street, and they begin, a rather than kill him. Meanwhile, Bruce and Selina run into each other

on the street and they begin a romantic relationship. I always love in these things how people don't recognize each other. It's dumb. The mouths on these people. Also, one thing I've always known is if you're ever attacked by somebody, you're supposed to look at their chin because in a lineup, you would

be able to remember that more than the general face. If you focused on the lower part of the face and just tried to remember that more than the general face. If you focused on the lower part of the face and just tried to memorize that while it was happening. I did not know that. Yeah. I don't know why that's... That's probably from Oprah or something. But anyway.

So I always think, you don't recognize that chin? I'm like, you've been staring at that chin. It's all you can see on him. I agree. I recognize so many people wearing a mask from behind. Yeah. Is that my friend? I know. I know how they walk. She's so many people like wearing a mask from like behind. Yeah. Is that my friend? I know.

I know how they walk with a mask on. That's my friend or a person I met one time. Right. I don't know. OK, so at the same time, Penguin kidnaps Ice Princess, an actress chosen to turn on Gotham City's Christmas tree lights. That part I was like, that would definitely be played by. Ah, fuck. What is her name?

She did the new Charlie's Angels movie. She's in The Hunger Games. She's a blonde lady. Elizabeth Banks. Yeah, I was like, she looks like Elizabeth Banks and she would play that part earlier in her career if it was made earlier in her career.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the news of Ice Princess. I wonder if that's where Ice Vice got her name. Anyway, kidnapping interrupts Bruce and Selina's date. They both sneak off to deal with the situation. Though Batman finds Ice Princess, Catwoman intercepts,

leading her to a rooftop where Penguin coaxes her to fall to her death. To the public, her death seems like Batman's fault. But Penguin and Catwoman's alliance falls apart when Catwoman rebuffs Penguin's sexual advantage. I just, like, why wouldn't she sleep with him? Just kidding. I mean, that scene was so gross. He's the horniest character.

He's so horny. He just got out of a sewer. He's like, why don't we live together and then I'll come home and I'll say, hi, honey. Think about this. You're nasty. You lived in a sewer for 33 of the hardest years of anyone's life. Yeah. You finally get above ground and you're like, whoa, there's more than just penguins and clowns.

There's beautiful women. I would try my hardest to get one. What do you think? I mean, penguins only seen penguins really kind of, right? So does he know what to sexually be attracted to? Apparently. I think so. It's just innate.

Yeah. It was like an awakening. He's like, oh, I want a woman. Yeah. And not Marissa the penguin. Laying on the bed so seductively. But that's just her vibe. That's true.

So he wants to kill her. And then in the Batmobile, Batman realizes that Penguin's gang has installed a device in the vehicle that gives Penguin control of the car. I enjoyed this. This part is scary. He's like on the TV like, meh. Oh, it was great. He was like moving around.

He was bouncing around in a way that made me laugh so hard. Think about being in that costume. Danny DeVito had the world as his playground. Anything he did would be scary, funny, everything. It's amazing prosthetics, don't you think? Yeah, I think they did a really great job. It would be so cool. So, okay, then during Penguin's election rally,

Bruce plays a recording of penguin insulting the people of gotham which turns the public against him and rage is somewhat different post-trump election yeah it wasn't enough they kept the same line over and i was like yeah i was like doesn't it get worse there's a lot more once again it's like what's the problem yeah he's like those dumb people i was like and he said more after that yeah they were like, we're dumb? Oh, no. So he's enraged and he flees into the sewers, renouncing humanity, his humanity. And he reveals his secret plan. Kidnap and kill the firstborn sons of Gotham's most prominent citizens by drowning them in the toxic waste from Shrek's plant as revenge against what was done to him.

Now, I felt like... Weird plan. New plot entirely. Yes. Brought in kind of late. Yes. Now he's after the firstborn. I was like,

didn't you have a whole thing you were just doing? And then I felt that that was where the second hour was really coming into play. I felt like a lot of the villainous plans were just arbitrary.

Yeah. I was like, how is this getting back to... I guess it's toxic waste and it's Shrek's plant, but I'm like, oh, I gotta connect those dots. Yeah.

I feel like it's sort of getting back at Gotham because they said, we don't want you, you're gross's Shrek's plant, but I'm like, oh, I got to connect those dots. Yeah. It's sort of getting back at Gotham because they said, we don't want you. You're gross. And he's like, oh, I'll show you. Yeah. You want me because I was gross. And so now I'm going to do that to you. OK.

We have so much more of this. Meanwhile, Selena attends a ball hosted by Shrek intending to kill him while dancing with Bruce. However, the two realize the other secret identity. Only from the lines that they said. They repeat lines they said already. Where, what is it like? A kiss can be deadly. Something like that. And then they trade, they reverse the lines

and then it's like, wait. What? You said what I said. I said what you said. You must be it. Before they could do anything about it, Penguin storms the hall demanding to take Shrek's son, Chip. Sweet Chip. Chip Shrek.

Chip Shrek. Shipwreck. Shipwreck. Shipwreck! Shipwreck! Shrek persuades Penguin to take him instead, and Bruce and Selina take off. Now, I think, at this point, I'm thinking,

power couple, you guys should be together. Just do it. Why not? So Bruce now as Batman attacks Penguin's Red Triangle Circus goons and puts a stop to the kidnappings. However Penguin has a backup plan. An army of rocket armed penguins dispatched to bomb Gotham Plaza.

He's thought about this like stunningly far ahead. Yeah yeah yeah. If that one doesn't work then I'll do that. If that one doesn't work. But Batman manages to jam their control signals and turn the birds around so that they attack the base instead. Batman confronts the penguin before he can escape, swarming him with a flock of bats, which causes him to fall through a skylight into toxic waste. There's a lot of toxic waste in Gotham City that I think somebody's got to clean up.

The city itself is so dingy and bad looking. You sort of think it's New York. I don't know. I guess I sort of like it's like New York when you see the skyline. But then when you're in any street, it's like the dirtiest, worst. It looks really bad. I think Jack Nicholson says in the first one

he's like, decent people don't live in Gotham. And I was like, well, why not? Why can't nice people live here? And clean it up. And why do decent people don't live in gotham and i was like well why not yeah why can't nice people live yeah and clean it up and why do bad people want to live by each other i don't know if they could do bad together batman glides through the broken skylight and discovers catwoman has come to kill shrek he tries with little luck to talk her out of it he wants shrek to face justice with the police during this shrek draws a gun he took in the confusion and attempts to kill them both. Batman is shot once, while Catwoman's hit four times. Miraculously, only getting hit

in the limbs. And now why do we never shoot Batman in the head? Like, I don't want him to get shot. I agree. I don't know. I'm just like, that's clearly not protected. But also, it's just the, like, the front part of his chest. Right. Because Catwoman digs into his sign. And it's ripped to shreds. And it's just cotton.

Yeah. It's just cotton? It's just a t-shirt. You know, just a little t-shirt material. While Shrek looks at his revolver in disbelief, she decides on a murder-suicide by putting her stun gun under Shrek's chin while poetically giving him a kiss of death.

So she's kissing. This part I thought was odd. Yeah. She like put her mouth up to his while she's kissing. This part I thought was odd. Yeah. She like put her mouth up to his while she's doing the stun gun thing. Like, is he actually kissing? I don't know. It looked like it was like she's going to be affected by whatever's happening to him. Oh, I think that's the idea where she's using a life on this.

Oh, she, oh. Using a life. Because she gets nine lives. She does? Yeah, because when he keeps shooting her and she's like, she, oh. Using a life. Because she gets nine lives. She does? Yeah, because when he keeps shooting her, she's like, that's four,

that's five. Oh, funny, I was like, well, I guess she's counting. I guess she's having a nice time. Okay,

so, yeah. So, simultaneously pulling a cable to a massive generator causing an overload explosion. When the smoke clears, Batman searches the rubble for Selina,

but all he finds is Shrek's blackened corpse. Which is absurd. It's explosion. When the smoke clears, Batman searches the rubble for Selina, but all he finds is Shrek's blackened corpse. Which is absurd. It's funny. When they pull that away, it's just like, oh my God. Tales of the Crypt. Yeah,

it looks like the Crypt Keeper. Yeah. It looked like when What's-His-Name gets electrocuted in Home Alone. Yes. Yes. It was very funny to me. Just eyes and,

yeah. Eyes and teeth. It was terrifying to me as a child. Oh yeah. I can imagine. I can imagine this whole movie. It's also kind of like the shrunken head in Beetlejuice. I think I know. I know what shrunken head is. Yeah. But it's very Tim Burton.

You should watch Beetlejuice at Halloween time. Okay. I won't. Penguin barely alive emerges from the toxic water and grabs his gun umbrella to kill Batman, but picks up his other umbrella by mistake. He finally falls dead on the floor.

This part's gross. And his penguins nudge him back in the water. I know when he just slides in. Do you think that was really him just sinking into the water? Yeah. I was impressed by that as an actor. I was like, that's hard. A lot of this was impressive because there wasn't really any CGI, I don't think.

There was a lot of practical elements. I know. Well, there's a couple moments that are almost like cartoon. CGI, I don't think. Yeah. There was a lot of practical elements. I know, well, there's a couple moments that are almost like cartoon. How much they get away with, yeah. Like, there's like some faraway shots of like Catwoman or Batman, I can't remember what, but it's like, it looks like a little cartoon almost

where that would have been CGI now. It's like a kind of a faraway shot. There were like two moments like that where I was like, oh, they had to kind of paint that, literally. But everything else, I love when things are practical, which is partly why I like this so much because it just feels better to watch.

I don't know. It just looks better. It works better. It sucks you in more than a lot of Marvel stuff where it was all CGI. I agree, where it's all CGI and you're like, ugh. Yeah, even the costume doesn't seem like it's really on them or something. This wig looks wild. That's the funniest thing about the Marvel ones, though, where you can see they haven't decided what the helmet looks like yet.

So in the behind-the-scenes footage, there's just dots on the face. Yeah. And then in the movie it looks fine but then whenever you see people wearing a replica the head's like gigantic because you can't it was never really a thing yeah yeah funny so to wrap it up driving through gotham bruce sees catwoman's shadow investigating he only finds selena's cat miss kitty which he decides to take home in memory of her as the bat signal lights up in the sky the the figure of Catwoman appears looking at the signal from her rooftop.

Is it Miss Kitty? Because Miss Kitty's a tabby, right? And the cat that he picks up is black. Yeah, it's more like the cat that, like, was licking her or something. Yeah. I don't know. But Batman fans say... I think she had two cats. She had two? I feel like. Okay. But I could be wrong. Okay, she probably

did. I could be wrong. I'll she probably did. I could be wrong. I'll believe you. Yeah, I believe you. I mean, okay. So yeah, I feel like it ending with her looking down made me feel like something was going to happen to her. We're going to get a Catwoman movie. I don't know if that ever happened.

Halle Berry is a Catwoman. Yes. Is that a movie about Catwoman? Yes. Oh, okay, great. But I haven't seen that either. Have you seen that? I have not seen it.

Are we watching it? It's wrong genre, I guess, at that point. It's Catwoman genre. But it's part of the Batman universe. Is Batman in Catwoman? I don't think so. Wow, she's got her own life. Wow.

Halle Berry, that's probably good. We can add it in. Hey, throw it in there. Whatever. Throw it on the pile. I pile already watching all of it. Okay, awards and reception. Batman Returns received two Oscar nominations, one for best makeup and one for best visual effects.

I agree. Michelle Pfeiffer was nominated for most desirable female. Jesus Christ. Well, it's kind of all I've been saying. At the 1993 MTV Movie Awards, and Danny DeVito was nominated for Worst Supporting Actor at the 13th Golden Raspberry.

I thought he was really great. He's terrific. I'm sorry, that's so shitty. He's hilarious and amazing at it. He's so good at it. Like, he makes me feel for that character. He made me like the back end of the movie because he was featured so much.

I agree. Crazy. Wow. At the box office. I mean, he was featured so much. I agree. Crazy. Wow. At the box office. I mean, Razzies have never been good, but whatever. No, no. Yeah. They've nominated children, I think.

Yeah, yeah. At the box office, Batman Returns was considered a disappointment as a sequel to the 1989 Batman, which was the fifth highest grossing film ever made. Right. Like, it made a lot, but just not as much as the first one. Oh. film ever made. Right.

It made a lot, but just not as much as the first one. Oh. So despite its PG-13 rating, parents at the time disliked Batman Returns violent and sexualized content. I mean,

there's a lot of like pussy jokes. There's like a lot of dirty stuff. Again, Penguin's so horny. Which I liked. I liked as a child.

Terrific. I was like, I don't understand. I don't want this. The studio received thousands of complaint letters. Wow. McDonald's was criticized for its child-centered promotion in toys and discontinued its Batman Returns campaign in September 1992.

Now, see, that's why I feel like it was so in our, like, in my childhood. I'm eating McDonald's all the time, probably got all the fucking toys. And I guess it would, like, do we feel like Barbie is not for kids? It's not crude or anything, but it's like the ideas are a little over their heads. Yeah, I think a kid would probably have a fine time with it, but you probably get more out of it as an adult. Whereas this like it will scare your children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think about like Clueless.

I watched it as a kid. You just didn't get all the jokes. A lot of jokes went over my head. And then as an adult, I was like, that's actually a really great joke. I know. I feel it's the same with this, where it's just kind of like, yeah, it's a dirty joke, but it's a play on words. Kids aren't going to understand

that. Yeah. Kids are dumb. Kids don't know. That's what it's like being a kid. Our segment is called No Wayne. Let's read some trivia from this film. So, Burton had no interest in making a sequel to the

successful batman believing that he was creatively restricted by the expectations of warner brothers he agreed to return in exchange for significant creative control including replacing original writer sam ham which by the way i saw that name and i was like great name yeah great name sam ham with daniel waters and hiring many of his previous creative collaborators. I mean, I did think that the script was good. And I mean, it's fun that he got more control. Yeah, I did like this one more than the prior one. Danny DeVito remained in character as Penguin Boutine takes. Take me off this set.

Get me off this. That's scary. That's terrifying. So he's walking up going I hope so his little grunts are my favorite thing

but I guess you have to say in your trailer if you're gonna do this if he's just like so you guys want some Doritos like I don't know

maybe it is weirder if he's just being himself I mean maybe but honestly you can't be on set no no no in between you gotta go

yeah please hide please hide like Please hide. Like, imagine getting lunch and he's just... Yeah, we are. Get in your sewer. We wanna see you. You little freak.

So, Michelle Pfeiffer said that her Catwoman costume was vacuum sealed. Oh, my God. This is horrible. Yeah. Once she was fitted into it for scenes,

so she could only perform for a short time before she needed to have it opened or she would become lightheaded and pass out. Oh my god. She also spent months training with a whip master and performed all the whip stunts herself.

I like that. That's very cool. I don't want to be put into something where I can't pee. I had to dress in a period costume once that was like with like corsets and like tight layers and like all these different buttons and things. And it was really hard to go to the bathroom. And I was I couldn't eat anything because like the second you ate

it was like boop like you couldn't like change your body at all and it was really hard and I felt very hungry and tired I had to wear long fake nails for something

and couldn't go to the bathroom because they were so long so I'd be like alright I guess I'll be dehydrated all day and hungry because I also couldn't eat with them and they would like take them off at lunch but then it would take so long. So I'd be like, alright, I guess I'll be dehydrated all day and hungry. Because I also couldn't eat with them.

And they would take them off at lunch, but then it would take so long to put them back on that I'd be like, I'll just take a nap with them on. It was wild. Being an actor is really hard. It's so hard, you guys. And that's why we deserve residuals. The production wanted to use king penguins, but the only tame ones in captivity were at a bird sanctuary

in the Coswalt Deep in the English countryside. So the birds were flown over to the States in a refrigerated hold of a plane. What? They were given their own refrigerated trailer and swimming pool with half a ton of fresh ice. That's why they fucking walked in there. Fresh ice

every day? Every day. They don't get that in the wild. No, they get old fucking ice. And they have fresh fish delivered daily straight from the wild. No, they get old fucking ice. And they have fresh fish delivered daily straight from the dock. Yeah, they were in the lap of luxury. This is a Hilton.

Even though the temperature outside frequently topped 100 degrees, the entire set was refrigerated down to 35 degrees. Oh, I don't like that. Also, them birds

had an around-the-clock bodyguard. Oh, wow. What a job. Imagine having to go back home after that. Also, them birds had an around-the-clock bodyguard. Oh, wow. What a job. Imagine having to go back home after that. No. And then wondering for the rest of your bird life if you're ever going to get a vacation like that.

And everyone else was freezing for your sake. Yeah. Which I don't think is great. But I'm happy for the penguins. I just picture being really cold. Oh, that's crazy. They were flown from England. I love that.

How funny. Well, okay, we're going to take a quick break, and when we get back, we will have more Batman Returns. And we're back. Holy Batman, Batman. In this new segment, we'll rate Michael Keaton on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale. So we're going to use our phones, get this QR code, and we're going to rank Batman across five unique characteristics.

Preparedness. How prepared is this Batman? Does he get to use his little gadgets and tools? Detective ability. Does this Batman get to be a little detective? Is he good at mystery solving? Voice of, voice gravelliness. How gravelly is this Batman's voice? Sadness. How lonely, broiness how gravelly is this Batman's voice sadness how lonely brooding or emo is this Batman and finally hotness slash horniness how hot or

horny is this Batman let's take a moment okay so it doesn't go to a new page with submit it It just does it. Okay, cool. Okay, results are in. Wow. Preparedness, 81%.

Detective ability, 77%. Voice gravelliness, 44%. Sadness, 22.5%. Horniness or hotness, 83%. Like, okay, I didn't feel like he was sad. No, he wasn't sad at all. He's perfectly fine with his life. I agree that overall he's not very sad.

The sadness comes from my old girlfriend broke up with me, and now that I know that my new girlfriend is maybe going to die or leave me. But at the same time, the movie is not really about him, I would say. It's the Catwoman, the time ago movie. It is about him i would say it's the cat woman the time ago movie it is more it is more yeah you're right yeah that's true i feel like um he's also i we we ranked his preparedness at 81 which i mean he was very prepared yeah it's less like um it's less like pointed out as yes other things like i feel like it's more just like yeah he's there he shows up his car works he fixes it a Batman movie, I think he's not

in it as much as you would think he would be. Yeah, which is very interesting. Oh, we didn't even talk about him when he reveals his head. He reveals himself to Shrek as well, which I thought was unnecessary. I also thought it was unnecessary. Why are you showing Shrek who

you are? Yeah, and I think it was just a nice coincidence that Selena kills him. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Like we didn't know how that was going to go. But wait, the,

just the way it ripped off. Yeah. So wild to me. I was like, it was like a piece of cheese. Any old person could have ripped this off. Yeah. He should rip it.

It was really weird. Um, and it also looked kind of dumb when it was just around his neck like that yeah it was just the high part yeah voice gravelliness I wouldn't say

he's very gravelly no we ranked 44% and hotness horniness 83% I feel like we all agree he's pretty hot

and in one scene I'm pretty sure he's like a jerry curl like it was like very curly what we considered hot at this point in time because it's like sort of like billy crystal and when harry met sally we were like the hair is not

good but yeah you're hot yeah like he has like it's like feathered in the back yeah and very spongebob shape yeah it's not flattering but and also he's like balding here i mean it's kind of interesting like all things that i think now you like media would not allow for us to see in Batman. It's sort of what you're saying about like you just can't have that kind of character actor anymore. It's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. And I miss that.

I feel like. Me too. Why can't it just be an actor who's good and not have a six pack and have to look a certain way and all these things. We are very obsessed now with our specific looks and styles of men. He is so hot. Just looking at this gif, like his cheekbones, he's giving.

He's a very good looking man. Structurally good looking, but in a more every man way. Realistic way. And I guess movies have like evolved to being like,

oh, this is unreachable or like whatever. Which is so peculiar to me because I'm like, oh, I find that hot. I watch a lot of movies from like the 80s or 90 me because i'm like oh i find that hot i watch a lot of movies from like the 80s or 90s i'm like oh i know there's a type of hotness now that like becomes not hot anymore where you see them and you're like sure they're beautiful but i'm not sexually attracted it's sexless yeah that's like garrett hedlum i don't know who that is he's in

tron he's so hot but like so hot that i'm like i don't think i could talk to you yeah i'm like i don't know like be anywhere near you like he's too pretty well yeah i feel like with a michael keaton type and right now we're watching this like repeating gif of him like standing up and it's kind of making me tweak out a little bit but he's like approachable hot yes yeah which is nice and then yet he's also dating like models in every movie so

and I buy it yeah I think I was when I was like reading up on this movie prior to this it was also

she Michelle Pfeiffer apparently was up for the Vicky Vale part in the first movie but it was when Michael Keaton was trying to get back

with his ex-wife at that time I think and she and because he had dated Michelle Pfeiffer, he was like, she can't be in this movie. But now she's in this, which is arguably like a more sexy role. They didn't get back with that wife and was like, fuck you. Or they got back together and he was like, trust me, babe. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be good.

We only kissed like once. Don't worry. Yeah, I guess with Kim Basinger, he had to like roll trust me, babe. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be good. We only kissed like once. Don't worry. Yeah. Yeah, I guess with Kim Basinger he had to like roll around a bit more. They don't really do that. Well, they have a pretty passionate make out.

Yeah, but then they both stop themselves and like, we can't. We have to go put on our respective costumes and do shit and pretend we're not. I also like,

I don't think about the romance in the first Batman at all. Whereas this, I'm like kissing, kissing, kissing. Like that is the thing. Yeah, I mean, yeah. It like oo Whereas this, I'm like kissing, kissing, kissing. Like that is the thing. Yeah, I mean, yeah. It like oozes sex, I feel like, much more. And of course, Penguin oozes as well.

Oh, you bet. From his butt, I think. Okay, so it's time for our segment, Five Kapows, our reviews. Of course, we read reviews of our own podcast. Because everybody loves it. So this one is a five star review, of course. We're not going to read one lower than that.

It's called Aaron hates everything. The only thing I listen to anymore. I don't know what it is, but this podcast truly brings out all of my serotonin. I've listened to every episode and have now started from the beginning again. I always consume everything Nicole puts out and her chemistry with Lauren makes top tier content

that I will consume until my dying breath. I will literally listen to these two talk about anything. Seriously, they could cover golf and I'd hang on to every word. I really hope we do that.

Oh my God. Lauren. No, no, no. Don't get excited. Are you excited? I truly just had a mental image of me like watching Tiger Woods being like,

I guess his swing was good. And I was like, oh, walk right into traffic no no there's plenty more stuff to watch oh god so many things i have not seen yeah yeah um so in addition of apple reviews we're also going to be reading reviews from letterboxd um also we're going to give each film a one sentence and star rating and if you don't know letterboxd is a social we're going to give each film a one sentence and star rating. And if you don't know, Letterboxd is a social platform where people can write reviews of films. You can follow newcomers on Letterboxd at newcomers. Oh, nice. This review says

by... Are you on Letterboxd? Yeah. Ooh. That would make sense. Thank you. This is from Adam Bolt. How can anyone find Catwoman attractive when Danny DeVito is right there

Adam you gotta go to therapy and we've got four stars from Lily hashtag make comic book films horny again

I agree the Marvel ones are devoid of like sex yeah there's nothing in there yeah so what's a one sentence

review you would give this film whoever wants to go first, whoever feels right. Okay. I'm going to give it four stars. Nice. I'm going to say beginning of the movie, unnecessary. Back in the movie, fun, fun, fun.

Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Okay. Karen? This is a five star movie for me. I love it pretty unabashedly. One sentence review.

I always find this hard to do. So I'll give me a second. Yeah, mine aren't always one sentence. I just ramble until sometimes paragraphs, even haikus, if you will. Okay,

I'll throw it out. Mine, I would say I'm going to give this four and a half stars. Okay. I really like this movie. That's not my review. Michael Keaton, hottest Batman I've seen. Better than...

Who's the other one? Yeah, that guy. Adam West. Oh, yeah, I said that guy. He's extremely famous. Adam West's great, but not competition, I would say. Hottest Batman I've seen Catwoman oozes sex appeal

Penguin just oozes that'll be my Penguin just oozes Penguin should have won his mayoral campaign you're angry about that I feel like you just should have been mayor

but yeah wait Karen what's your favorite part of the movie since you love it so much that sounded pointed since you love it so much? That sounded pointed. Since you love it so much. Can you name five albums?

No, it's probably David DeVito. Like, I think his performance is so good where it's like the character is so gross, but I want to see more of him. Yeah. And also all of the like sort of elephant man adjacent stuff where he's like, I am a human. And then when they're like, we don't like you anymore. He's like, I'm a human. And then when they're like, we don't like you anymore, he's like, I'm not a human. It's full of pathos for a character that could easily be very comic, I think. Yeah, I agree.

I love that. Pathos. Spill that. She doesn't have to. So please out there, everyone listening, please write a review of our podcast on Apple Podcasts because we'll pick one to read on the next episode. And you can read us on Spotify, which just takes two seconds, just pressing the stars.

And we want all of them. Give me all the stars. Karen, is there anything you would like to plug? Not in particular. As you said, I wrote the I published a book, Bong Joon-ho. Oh, my God. Even I can't say it. I love it.

You messed it up so that I wasn't the one. Bong Joon-ho, Distant Cinema from Abrams and Little White Lies. It came out in November of last year and is around now for you to purchase and read. Congrats. That's so much. Thank you. My SEO is really terrible, as you're about to see, which is my Twitter is KarenYHan, Instagram TheKarenHan, and then on Blue Sky, I'm KarenHan, so none of them are the same.

Okay, are you liking Blue Sky? Yeah, it's nice. It's like a new Twitter. and then on Blue Sky I'm Karen Han so none of them are the same okay are you liking Blue Sky what's Blue Sky it's like the new Twitter yeah it's by Jack Dorsey like the guy who originally made Twitter I believe

and it's nice you should have just named it Twitter because Twitter's no it I know that's true it's so stupid I deleted my Twitter

which was shockingly easy I've been on there since 2008 and I was like I'll never ever leave and then I just one day I was like

bye and it was fine but whenever someone like sends me a tweet and I click through and it's like X and I was like I'll never ever leave and then I just one day I was like bye and it was fine but whenever someone like sends me a tweet and I click through and it's like X and you're like watch the X on the screen for a second and then it comes I'm like this is not user friendly but then everyone's joining blue sky and you need an invitation and stuff right or maybe not anymore I have a couple if you want to be

well I don't know if I want to be I don't know if I need to learn another thing but it is nice it does feel like early twitter in so much as, again, there's so many fewer. I don't know if I'm saying this right. There's less people on it. It's just smaller. That's better. And a lot of the trolls haven't gotten on there yet, which I think is the key.

Well, that was what Twitter was always great. You know why it was always great? It was just being able to post jokes or whatever you want. Just some information. It's like, I just want to be shit posting and then get hurricane alerts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it.

Okay, well, we're going to be back next week with Batman Mask of the Phantasm. Whatever the fuck that is. Which a lot of guys keep talking about. And we'll see you then. Bye. Bye. Thanks, Karen.

Thank you. Bye. Newcomers is a production of HeadGum Studios Our producer is Ali Khan Our executive producer is Anya Konevskaya The show is edited, mixed, and mastered by Faris Manchi, who also composed our theme song. Follow us on Letterboxd, at Newcomers, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

We might just read it on the next show. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bye! That was a Hiddem Original.