Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (w/ Scott Aukerman)

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

This week, Lauren and Nicole dive into Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition, which has approximately 30 more minutes of action-packed Ben-Affleck-as-Batman heroism to dissect than the non-ultimate edition! Extra special guest Scott Aukerman (Mr. Show, Between Two Ferns, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Threedom) provides beyond helpful background knowledge on the commonalities between Superman and Batman’s mothers, Jesse Eisenberg’s probable acting inspiration for Lex Luther, and why Superman is so hot. Follow Scott: Instagram, TwitterNext week's movie: The Lego Batman Movie (2017)Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Master Wayne. Thermal imaging is showing me two dozen hostiles on the third floor. Why don't I drop you off on the second? I'm getting slow in my old age, Alfred. Even you got too old to die young. Not for lack of trying. He has the power to wipe out the entire human race. If we believe there's even a 1% chance that he is our enemy,

we have to take it as an absolute certainty. The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus man. Day versus night. You're psychotic. That is a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds. Do you know the oldest lie in America? That power can be innocent. The The The The

The The The The The The The The

The The The Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition. Well, that was perfect. I'm Lauren Lapkus. I'm Nicole Byer. And this season we're covering the Batman movies.

This is the 10th episode of the sixth season, so we've already done so many of these. We're working our way through movies within the Batman universe with the help of fellow newcomers, super fans, sometimes even people who've contributed. This season will be 13 episodes culminating in a very exciting live, live, live stream episode. Oh my God, it's going to be so crazy. We're going to cover as much as we can to give you an overview of the franchise but listen we can't get to everything so today we're going to be discussing the second film in the dc extended universe batman v superman dawn of justice ultimate edition okay and if you want to watch it it's uh with a subscription you can watch it on max and prime video you can also watch it for a fee on apple tv plus google play and voodoo and we're gonna spoil the fuck out of this. So if you want to watch this

hot fucking mess before we do so, you can do that. And we are so excited for our guest today. Scott Aukerman is a comedian, writer and producer who co-founded the Earwolf Podcast Network. Scott hosts the comedy podcast Comedy Bang Bang and Freedom with me and Paula Tompkins. Welcome back, Scott. Hi, guys. Hi. We're so excited to talk about Batman v. Superman, Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition with you today. This is one that I'm afraid, I had a little bit of input on what movies

I think you're covering this season. I had a conversation with Lauren where I heard what you were covering and I was like, no, no, no, here's how you do it. I crossed out some and added some. And this is one that I'm afraid I said we need to watch the ultimate edition and not the regular. Oh, so this is all your fault. Yeah.

I'm sorry. No, no, this is good to know that we have you here. Three hours and three men, by the way. Yes. The original theatrical is only 2.30, so it's just 30 more minutes. But I think 30 more minutes that makes it make slightly more sense well and it makes you really tired by the end because I really I was nodding off

I was holding on for dear life just to get through the last few minutes I woke up to the screen being like just like the cover of the movie and then I went what and then I had only been asleep you had to go backwards I had to go back and then I had to watch the last five minutes again but i got

what happened okay and i can't wait to talk about it so scott you're a marvel head you like marvel i like marvel but i made me enjoy dr strange and then we had a great conversation about that at birds when i was walking home from the hollywood bowl for reason, because I couldn't get an Uber. Are you a DC head too? I actually grew up, I think, reading both pretty equally. But DC was always a little more childish, I think, until the mid 80s. It was a little more like for kids. And then in the mid 80s, they sort of grew up and got a little more for people my age, teens at the time. So that's when The Dark Knight and Watchmen and all that kind of stuff came out. So now it's like it's so weird because DC movies are they curse in them and they're so violent.

And they're not for kids at all. And DC has gone the totally other way, whereas Marvel is more lighthearted, you know? Yeah, the swearing actually really surprised me. Did you notice that yeah I did a little Batman at one point he considers changing his name to cunt man and he just keeps screaming and doing the like pussy licking thing

it was so weird but I like that part very strange there was one hot part do you agree the shower the bathtub oh the bathtub I thought you meant the shower where i was well batman is taking a bear-ass shower i thought he was going to turn around and gone girl as soon as she was wang i didn't even catch that oh my god you were asleep during the shower scene i

swear to god i was watching um the bathroom scene was hot i don't remember a shower yeah are you making this up i think maybe this is something that I saw. It's not just a fantasy. I mean, I always think about Ben Affleck standing in the shower a la Gone Girl. Yes. Okay, well, really quickly, let's just give our quick one to two sentence experience of the film. We're going to jump in it very deeply, but did you like this movie? So I did not like it in the theater when i saw the theatrical cut

i thought it was a mess yeah uh saw the extended cut and was like oh okay now at least i know what's going on i still think it's a mess yeah but i at least understand it okay i felt like i was really confused um about a lot of stuff but I really was like, why are Batman and Superman against each other? They should be fighting together. And so then there was a lot there that I felt like didn't match up with what we've watched in other films. I also felt like Batman himself was very different from what we've established him to be. Yes, this is an older. Essentially, what happened with this is Zack Snyder has read two comic books in his life.

He read Watchmen and he read The Dark Knight. And at the end of The Dark Knight, which is a big classic Frank Miller Batman story set with an older Batman, who's like I think he's 65 in The Dark Knight. They page him down to like

Affleck looks 55 maybe in this. He's got a gray streak. But at the end of that, Batman and Superman have a big fight, which was something you'd never seen before. Yeah. Because growing up, Batman and Superman were friends. They were always colleagues. They helped each other out. That was my understanding.

Yes. So in The Dark Knight, in this alternate universe set in the future with an older Batman and Superman hasn't aged, Superman is like a tool of the fascist government. He's like Ronald Reagan government. Okay. And is controlling the world and keeping peace. And Batman doesn't like that. And so they have a giant fight, which is what Zack Snyder wanted. Like when he was making this sequel to the first Superman film, he really just wanted to film this fight which is what you see at

the two hour point of the movie that's that's what he wanted to do so that's that's why this movie exists and everything in it is backtracking to justify this fight happening isn't that such a boy answer though like i just wanted to see him fight i want to see him well that's i think the issue with zach snyder as a director is there are two types of comic book fans. I think there are comic book fans who are like they're all power fantasies. Right. But the comic book fan sees a power fantasy and says like, OK, these characters are very powerful and it would be great to have all these powers. But if I had them, I would use them to help out the less fortunate.

Yeah. And that's like classic Spider-Man. With great power comes great responsibility. Zack Snyder is the other type of comic book fan. Is that the one that I thought was a Bible quote? Yes, I believe so. Job 318. I was like, that's famous, right?

That's from the Bible. That's famous. But then people online are like, it is kind of like, I feel like I got justified by somebody. I don't know. Whoever helped me out, thank you. But then the Zack Snyder type of comic book fan is the type who sees these power fantasies and goes like, it'd be so awesome to be that powerful and to kick everyone's ass. Oh, yeah. Right?

And that's the whole, and I don't think that's sustainable. Oh, yeah. Right? And that's the whole, and I don't think that's sustainable. That's the whole issue of Zack Snyder's whole point of view is he views these characters as like gods who are out there beating the shit out of everyone into submission and not helping people. Yeah, I didn't like that. Like, I didn't like Superman's red eyes. Nicole, what did you think of the movie more? I also didn't like Superman's red eyes.

I didn't like superman's red eyes i just i felt like okay maybe i just really loved christian bale and i like ben affleck but he just seemed so angry and mean and alfred seemed like he was giving advice and then ben would just be like no and then wouldn't do it and then today alfred yeah yeah truly like get out of here and then everyone just seemed so angry at each other and then i was like how is amy adams everywhere all at once oh my god the her miles must be i know incredible she's getting those steps in i love her though but i yeah but they're even the part where like she's falling off the building and then superman catches her and she's just like, you almost died.

You didn't know he was going to be there. I had some questions about her character and her feelings. And then Laurence Fishburne, I was like, is he doing soliloquies? Is he doing poetry? Everything he said was kind of softly rhyming. He was cast because this is the sequel to the first Superman film that Zack Snyder did. That's an issue, because I didn't understand that. Which you guys don't need to cover, but you haven't seen.

Yeah. So that was a Superman film that was a result of the Dark Knight movies that you just watched, the Nolan movies. Christopher Nolan's an executive producer on that movie. And the Batman movies that you guys just did cover, the Nolan movies, I think what those are is like, what if Batman existed in the real world? There's nothing super powered about it. There's nothing supernatural about it. It's just like, okay, we're going to justify Batman. Even the Joker, he doesn't fall into a vat of acid or anything. He does that to himself. So it was kind of when they announced okay this superman

movie is going to happen with zach snyder everyone's kind of like zach snyder i don't know but nolan was the executive producer and it was kind of like okay well maybe this will be a superman movie like what if the one buy you have is there's an alien yeah but what if that was the real world but he does it to the extreme of um and this ties in with the beginning of this movie, these aliens are fighting and Superman normally in a Superman movie would see the villain about to kill a bunch of people and would go like, okay, I have a solution for this and save everyone, right? Zack Snyder does not care about that at all. So these villains are murdering thousands and thousands of people and Superman is just cool with it, I guess. Yeah.

He's just fighting and it's like another 9-11, basically. Yeah, I know. It was really scary. Yes. People are being

slaughtered everywhere. And what year was this? This was 2009, I think. Because doesn't it seem incensed to make that? Or 2012 or so? I feel like all those buildings thought it was

like, this is horrible. And then I didn't like the little girl who was like, my mom's up there. And I was like, why aren't you in school? And she's literally outside your mom's building. That girl's mom is gone. Her mom is gone. And then did Superman... We gotta get into

this because there's so many questions that I have and I want to get into all the details. Let's take a quick break. We're going to jump back in with all of Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition, okay?

We're back. We're back. This film was released March 19th, 2016. There we go. Written by Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer and directed by Zack Snyder. Did David S. Goyer write another film? He did something else.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Ah. He wrote all of the Nolan ones? I think or co-wrote. He's a pretty standard go-to guy for these comic films. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Well, let's jump into the plot of this. Because all of our questions and thoughts are going to be tangentially popping off of here. So, we want to thank, sincerely, the DC Extended Universe Wiki. Thank you so much. For putting together this summary. And that's not the Batman Wiki. That's the DC Extended Universe Wiki.

The DC Extended Uni. Thank you so much. Now, again, right off the bat, bat i was going are we really doing this in a flashback to his childhood bruce wayne runs from his parents funeral he falls into a cave where a swirling vortex of bats elevates him back to the surface i did like that how many times have you guys seen his parents being murdered we watched the whole thing at least five times yeah why i was like why we no one in the world doesn't know no one in the world i was trying to think though how many times it's been on film because it sort of happens in the michael keaton first one i feel like it's like i think

we've seen it four or five times it's in that cartoon yeah okay yes it's in the bail version is it in the bill i was trying to remember that's the best one yeah okay yeah we like that first one batman begins oh you didn't like the second one we like the first one we like the second one we liked uh heath ledger and then the third one i thought should have been two movies i thought it could have been good but a lot happens a lot yeah yeah it's very long but yeah um we we've had to watch this origin story 500 times and I just feel like

literally as someone who doesn't know anything I know that his parents are killed in front of him so yes but this one was done pretty artistically he had the gun

between those pearls then the pearls that's all I remember is the pearls so the Dark Knight which is one of the only comics I think Zack Snyder's ever read that's where the

this distinction is very important he only read that one. I know more than he does. Those are the two, like, big famous comics that made everyone in the 80s go like, whoa, comics are serious, right?

So everyone's read those. But that's one of the big famous scenes in The Dark Knight is you flash back to this and the pearls, I think, were introduced in that. The pearls going everywhere. So that's why Zack Snyder is like,

I want to film that. But I feel like then Batman should be obsessed with pearls. Yeah, he should be Pearlman. He should love a pearl necklace. Run, Pearlman. That's cool. That's a cool costume.

There's a big controversy about that because pearl necklaces have little knots around. It wouldn't happen. Unless it was fake. And I guess his parents weren't rich after all. They weren't that rich. I guess they were in a little bit of debt. Okay, daddy bought her a fake

purse. Let's jump in again. So in the present day, Bruce Wayne Ben Affleck arrives in Metropolis in the midst of the battle between Superman Henry Cavill, who's hot, and the Kryptonians. He tries to proceed to Wayne Tower, giving the order for

people to evacuate. As he drives his way to the building, he... And this was crazy. He's driving there. I didn't understand. In a jeep? I was like, where did he get this jeep from? He's like, oh, can't go that way. Everything's falling that way. Can't go that way. I was like, you're not doing this right. As he drives his way to the building, he narrowly avoids the

debris from the crashing Fortress of Solitude with Superman and Zod, Michael Shannon, inside. So this is from the first movie. This is the third act of the previous Superman movie. Oh, that's what's happening in it? That's what's happening is Superman comes down to Earth. He's trying to hide himself from the world. And then suddenly these other Kryptonians zod and everyone come down and they're going to enslave all of earth and they have this battle which just decimates cities

all over the world and thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people die and oh my god and then superman is gonna kill zod and at the last minute doesn't or something like that but it was very it it's unlike unlike any other Superman movie because just the destruction level. And yeah, it's realistic. But who wants to see that? I don't know. No, it was. It's honestly very scary.

And Superman in general, Zod begin to fight. Zod throws Superman into Wayne Tower and Zod's uncontrollable heat vision causes the building to collapse. Bruce makes his way through the debris looking for survivors, finding Wallace Keefe, Scoot McNary, trapped under some rubble. That whole scene, I was like, this is a little silly. I felt like everybody being upset. There was something weird about it.

I don't know. There was just something weird about the whole thing. Weird about people being upset that this was happening? He was like, I can't feel my legs. I was like, I don't feel like you really can. Like, I don't know. Wait, you thought the actor really couldn't? It wasn't even acting.

It wasn't like I was blaming the acting. It's like, I'm just going like, there's something about the tone that, there's not a level of severity that feels real. Yeah, he wasn't like screaming. He was just like, my legs. Oh no, my legs. And I was like, you would be screaming in pain. There would be other things. No, he can't like screaming. He was just like, my legs. Oh, no, my legs. I was like, you would be screaming in pain.

There would be other things. No, he can't feel them. But I wanted more. I wanted more like screaming terror. It didn't really feel. It felt like even the kids walking through were like, oh, no. Like it's like. I mean, there was a lady that was like, hold hands.

And I was like, what? What do you mean hold hands? A building just fell down. If you were leading those children, you would be running for your life. Like, bye, kids. Yeah, you'd be like, you guys hold hands. Figure it out. And then he helps rescue him.

And then he saves the little girl whose mother has perished. And while consoling her, he angrily watches Zod and Superman fly down from the sky. Now, I literally thought Superman was carrying, what's his name? Batman's boss. Or no, his employee. Batman has a boss? His employee. His employee.

Do you know who he calls on the phone and he's like, get out of there? And then that guy doesn't leave for some fucking crazy reason. Who was that guy? And why was he just alone? And he was like, may God help me. And then I thought Superman was flying and holding that businessman. I was like, why did he save him? And who cares?

I think that's like the head of Wayne Enterprises or whatever and he's he's stayed behind to make sure everyone's gotten out it's not a good idea someone tells you to leave the building oh yeah I'd be first I'd be like elbowing everyone out of the way he said we gotta go and you're already five floors down did you hear me oh okay whatever

but also it's what in this book William Goldman wrote he calls hero shit or here like hero business if you are writing for the hero of the movie in a in a realistic situation ben affleck doesn't have to drive to the thing in order to make a phone call this guy doesn't have to be last but everyone every actor wants to look like they're doing something heroic. So it's like why in King Kong that Adrian Brody drives around trying to chase King Kong in a car for the entire third act. It's like if you have a hero, you want to see them doing something heroic even though it doesn't make sense.

That's true. I mean it's more exciting than seeing him call from his house. Yeah. Yeah. Collect. But I just didn't get why. 1-800-COLLECT. May I get Wayne Enterprises, please?

So 18 months later, two divers in the Indian Ocean. Yep. When Mike joined later in watching, I was like, and then 18 years later or something. 18 years. So a long time later, they discover a large rock that looks similar to the kryptonian ships at the site of the destroyed world engine upon taking it back to the surface they split the rock revealing a glowing green crystal i was like who the fuck are these people i know i was kind of interested in their story i was like can we watch the movie where these guys just like fish in the

indian ocean did you guys know what the green rock was when you saw it i didn't know that it was kryptonite okay i figured that's what it was okay lois lane didn't get that that was her name until a little bit later um amy adams like literally she goes to her mailboxes as lane i go thank you i was like oh that's gonna need that lane brian yeah travels to war-torn nai n Nairobi, seeking an interview with the African warlord in a raging civil war. Lois is accompanied by Jimmy Olsen, Michael Cassidy, a photographer who's revealed to be a CIA operative. Some people are, by the way, very upset that Zack Snyder introduces Jimmy Olsen and then immediately kills him. Oh.

Because Jimmy Olsen's like a big famous part of the case. He's like number four on the call sheet in Superman movies. And he wasn't in the first Superman movie. And then they introduce him and we're like, oh, Jimmy Olsen finally. And then he's dead. But don't people always kind of like that? Like when something's like surprising, surprising, like it's like, oh, it's the famous person. That's one of the things that you can say about these movies is they're making weird choices that you've never seen in a Superman movie.

Yeah. To its detriment, I think. But it's always interesting. Yeah. It's fun. I didn't know what was going to happen the entire time. Yeah. I didn't know who Jimmy Olsen was.

And you didn't know what was happening the entire time. And I never knew when it was done. Sure didn't. The camera he was carrying has a tracking device hidden inside and is discovered by a bodyguard, Anatoly Kainazov. Kalen Mulvey? Before being shot, Jimmy's, I mean, these are names I'm trying to say. Why do you even bother? You're doing great.

You could have not even. Well, I tried. Okay. And I think that's something. You did. It was great. It was better than what I do. I like it.

Jimmy states that Lois knew nothing of either device or his identity. The warlord then takes Lois as a hostage. Superman soon arrives, saves Lois, and returns her home. What did you think of Superman saving Lois in the way he just pulverizes that guy? I did like that, where she was like, she's holding on because she's about to be killed. And she then, they kind of have like a little nod between them. She lets go, and then he just runs really fast into that guy and just if you do that he yeah the body parts would go flying everywhere yeah and

she's fine she had no like speed problem like it didn't matter that he hit that guy and she was just standing there like if there if if someone was hold like sort of holding on to you yeah and a big train hit them yeah train hit them you them you'd be in you might move a little yeah but i like she's she was ready for it here's the thing why did this scene happen i guess i guess what we're getting what we're getting to is is everyone's gonna the world is sort of on superman side at the end of the first superman movie because he saved everyone but there was all this destruction we're getting to the world turning

against Superman so Superman is being framed for all these people dying in this scene it's good that you interrupted me because I was going to say something wrong

what were you going to say maybe you were I was like I think what we're getting to is like showing their relationships so that we can see that they're a couple and she's like really

she's a really good reporter but that as well that is also something we got from that um but not the big point uh okay so a u.s senate committee headed by senator finch holly hunter i love her i love her i love how she talks and i love it's so great um literally superman superman i'm gonna make some choices about him i love it her voice is so great here is evidence about superman saving the life of lois lane in africa concerned how superman may be seen by the public due to his constant acts of vigilanteism she sends a public announcement to superman inviting him to speak in a committee to defend his actions at the u.s capital in washington dc this whole storyline i felt was boring yes very fucking boring i don't care about the political i do believe in the original version they cut it down uh but then

things just happen like scoot mcnary blowing up and stuff where you're like, what is happening? I don't understand what's going on. This at least I can follow, but you're right, it is very boring. Yeah, it felt just like... You don't need any of that stuff because at the end of the first movie, there's all this destruction. You can start this movie with everyone going like, yeah, Superman, he saved us, but...

Not all of us but everyone died like is he really good and we're already there who wait sorry if this was said who's attacking the aliens attacking what the city at the beginning yeah yeah it's these other kryptonians who find earth okay they're as powerful as superman and they're their their whole mission is like we're gonna enslave earth we're not gonna they weren't raised by the the nice american midwesterners with american values who raised superman to be a good guy and why does he look like a attractive human species yeah why is he so hot and then they all look like aliens it's very crazy like if you watch the christopher reeve Superman movies, he does such a good job. Because he's not incredibly built.

He worked out. He's got muscles. But he does such a good actor. He does such a good job in slouching and playing Clark Kent like a dweeb. Oh. This guy. The glasses are not. All he does is he puts on glasses and he's still the most handsome man you've ever seen.

Yeah, you can tell who he is. And he's actually hotter with the glasses than I am. I think so. At the end when it's like Superman's dead and then they turn to page six and it's like Clark Kent also died. I couldn't believe it. I thought it would be so funny to have those next to each other. And it's just one picture of Superman without the glasses, one picture of Clark Kent with the glasses. Two guys died. Yeah. That's crazy. Two crazy and separate guys doesn't he take off his glasses

to go to sleep well i guess lois knows lois knows in the first movie she figures it out immediately okay good we need her to be smart yeah so returning home to his and lois's apartment the hot things happen yeah she's naked in the tub. Clark sees Lois in the bathtub and says he wanted to surprise her by cooking up something. And when the subject shifts to the controversy surrounding his actions in Nairobi, Clark makes it clear that he is unconcerned as Lois could have been killed.

Also adding that he didn't murder anyone. When Lois questions whether or not it's possible for him to love her and be Superman, he responds by getting in the tub with her despite being fully clothed, kissing her passionately before his glasses come off and then Clark

then proceeds to take off his shirt. I like that the wiki put in That's a lot of detail for 20 seconds. That's the best part. And then he took off his shirt and then they fucked.

Definitely. They fuck in the tub they definitely did but they didn't let us see it yeah but it was like put the glasses back on wasn't it cute when he got it in his clothes it was like it's like so fun it's like rom-com it's like we i want more i want more yeah more rom-com less death and destruction. No. Meanwhile, in Gotham, the vigilante Batman rescues a group of young Asian women from sex trafficker Cesar Santos, Sebastian Sozi, by subduing him, then ruthlessly branding him. I was like, wait a minute. What the fuck? Why did Batman brand him?

Why are we doing this? Then I was like, did he really do that? Here's what they're doing. And I'll just. And it's very subtle and if you don't know what what is like the comic books it's based on you'll miss it but they they need a reason for Batman and Superman to fight they need a reason for Superman to be mad at Batman as well as Batman so they've already established why Batman's mad at Superman they need a reason for Superman to be to be mad at Batman and so what they have set up is this is a Batman who's in

his 50s in kind of the future where the Joker has killed Robin okay so there are little clues to that in the movie but that happens in the comics that happened actually in the comics was the Joker killed one of the Robins and so that has sent Batman down a dark path where he's just brutal and he's no longer the good guy batman who's saving people he's like branding criminals and he's turning into a fascist who uh is is what you know the power fantasy of it all is is like beating poor people into submission you know which is what what batman the two different takes on batman are i have all these powers and i'm super rich and i'm going to use all that to help the less fortunate or i'm super rich and crime has scarred me so much i'm going to beat the shit out of poor people and i think that's where he's

veering into it's just so crazy because i'm like we like the character for the fact that he doesn't harm people. I mean he harms people but he doesn't actually try to kill them. Yes. So that's where they want to get to in the next movie is Batman's back to being the Batman we like. But they need a reason

for Superman to be mad at Batman so he'll punch him. So that's what they're doing is they're setting up this fascist Batman who has gone too far with his means of justice. All right. I'll let them do it this time. Second time is a spanking. I'm gonna get ya.

Yeah. That was good. Yeah, so one of Gotham's police department rookies tries to shoot him, but he leaves, and then leaving Santos with a bat brand on his chest. On the morning news while cooking, Clark hears Nairomian Kahina Ziri being interviewed regarding Superman. And she states that she that had Superman been in her presence, she would ask him how he decides which lives count and which do not, leaving Clark visibly disturbed. lives count and which do not leaving clark visibly disturbed i mean it is a good question because you know if superman did exist people always go well how do you decide who to save and there have been comics that sort of deal with that where superman can kind of go crazy going like i can't

even sleep because i know some people are going to die while i sleep and i have the power to save him i don't think comics are meant to get that realistic necessarily when you're dealing with Superman and Batman who are just like, we just want to see these guys saving lives and doing it in interesting ways. But they've already set up this first Superman movie where so many people died. That's where they're getting to is like the public turning against him of like, why didn't you save all those people? Why is anyone dead? Yeah. Well, that's a big question yeah you would never rest but it's the same thing with god you know and they talk about luther talks about it of uh you know oh we gotta get to that guy yeah that guy yeah boy oh

boy that guy that guy with that hair the hair oh boy that wig was wild crazy bad i didn't understand why it was so bad i was like it's not that hard that's not it really is that one just was like super fake looking i don't know why uh okay so later that day clark's assigned by perry white lawrence fishburne and traveled to gotham city to cover the metropolis verse gotham football game given the headline underdog dreams dash 10 yards between Gotham and glory. When the news reports on Wallace Keefe vandalizing the Superman statue by spray painting the words false God in red on his chest before he's arrested, Clark is visibly saddened by this hate crime.

Is that a hate crime? It's not a hate crime. Hey, that's a hate crime about me. It's just a mean crime. Unless you view aliens as like a protected class of people. We can't get into that. In Metropolis, billionaire business mogul Lex Luthor, which Batman once said Lex Luthor. He said it so weird.

I don't know why. He did. Jesse Eisenberg meets with Senator Finch and her subordinate to discuss the radioactive mineral discovered in the Indian Ocean, wishing to manufacture the mineral into a deterrent against Superman and other possible known metahumans. Finch leaves considering this idea while Luther gains access to the Kryptonian scout ship and the body of General Zod from her subordinate. Luther later tries to persuade Senator June Finch to allow him to import the mineral, but she declines, claiming to see through his facade of good intentions. Luther warns Finch of potential consequences before she leaves. This is like an hour into the movie,

and I'm like, why are we just seeing him? Also, is this where he feeds a Jolly Rancher to somebody? Yeah, forcibly. That was very, very weird to me. Can we talk about his character? Let's talk about him,

because I'm interested in what you guys thought of him, because a lot of people love him or hate him, because when he was cast, people were a little like he's young. That doesn't. Oh, who's typically like what? So the Lex Luthors we've seen are Gene Hackman. Oh, wow. Who who would not shave his head for the role. What?

So so they had to. He goes through the whole movie with hair and they have to justify it by putting a bald cap on him occasionally and saying that hair is a wig and seeing him put on hair. That's very silly. It's crazy. Okay, so maybe they were supposed to believe that Lex Luthor's hair is a wig, but then he shaves it off. So we've seen Gene Hackman and then we saw Kevin Spacey. Wow. A total Sigma.

What's a Sigma? Never mind. Kevin Spacey, who shaved his head for the role. So those, traditionally, Lex Luthor's an older businessman. Yeah. Or at least he's Superman's age. And so they cast Jesse Eisenberg coming off of the social network. Whoa.

And he is doing, I think, an Elon Musk impression. Yeah. And this is before anyone knew how annoying Elon Musk was. And when people still thought like, oh, he's a good guy or whatever. Yeah. I think Jesse Eisenberg saw the Elon Musk type of person who is a super rich person who's just been handed everything. Yeah. And is doing a really

very annoying character purposefully no i thought it was i thought he was doing a very good job i also thought this is the type of person who is gonna try to date me in real life yeah he's like a freedom fan. That's really funny. The type of person who wants to date me. I was like, this guy won't leave me alone at a party. I can just feel this. I can feel his energy. Oh, no. I was worried about him.

But I thought he did a very good job. I thought the actor was really good. I thought he made it really interesting. I think he's very interesting I think but some people were just not on board. It didn't really bother me but I was thinking about

Jim Carrey doing the Riddler it's somehow connected to that a little bit for me there were like points where he's being a little like maniacal and I was like

some people say like he's acting too much like the Joker okay you know of like haha it is kind of like that but it's like kind of like

why is he like yeah those parts I didn't love. All right well just, just back... Yeah, all the political stuff is so fucking boring. It is. And you don't need any of it, because you're getting to this congressional thing, interrogation of Superman, where suddenly everyone blows up,

and you don't need any of it, I think, you know? Yeah, that was honestly very wild. And then when they were recovering bodies, I was like, so none of them had blood on them and they're all in one piece. Then they blow up. Yeah. That is kind of like,

I guess the feeling during that first scene where I was like, the destruction didn't feel, but you know, what do I really want to watch? I don't know. You should just go watch World Trade Center. Yeah. I don't want to see that really.

So I don't know. But it just that was, I don't know, kind of a weird choice. I think the whole thing is a weird choice. Like, why? Why are these Superman movies filled with so many hundreds and thousands of people dying? I couldn't believe it. It's not necessary. And I thought like the whole like because as it's starting, I'm like the whole idea is that they protect people.

That's from happening. They should be killing off all these alien spaceships and stuff. Meanwhile, they're just slicing and dicing. Wait, was it only Zod who comes or did other Kryptonians come? I'm pretty it's usually a trio. It's usually Zod, Ursula and then the big dumb one. I can't remember in the first Superman movie if it's if it's three of them but i think it is but um what why are they leaving krypton to come here so krypton blew up that's a big part of superman's origin is and it when i when i was growing up i

thought it was the the most unrealistic part of super Superman's origin is that Krypton was a planet that was – Superman's father was a scientist and figured out that the things they were doing on Earth were going to make the planet blow up. And everyone was like, shut up, scientist. We don't care. And then it made the planet blow up. And I was always like, people will pay attention to scientists, right? No, they won't. So the planet blows up. Superman's dad had been building this experimental rocket that they could all leave on.

But it was only in a prototype that was small. It only had room for superman as a baby so they they send it off built it so small that only a baby could fit yeah so he he was like we don't have at the end it's like when you're making something out of clay and then you're like oh the middle is like really small this is for one flower so so he sent Superman to Earth, but then these three were convicts that had been off-world in the jail, essentially, the Phantom Zone or whatever. And they figure out how to get to Earth. And so it's like three Supermen who want to—they're convicts and they want to do bad shit. So that's what these villains are always about.

Okay. Back in Gotham, Bruce has been searching for someone known as the White Portuguese who he tells Alfred is bringing a dirty bomb to Gotham. Bruce learns that a Russian man named Anatoly Kinyazev, which I already pronounced, may have information on this.

Bruce attends an underground fight club where he meets Kinyazev. He and Bruce had a brief conversation during which Bruce successfully cloned Kinyazev's club where he meets Kinyazev. He and Bruce had a brief conversation during which Bruce successfully cloned Kinyazev's phone and discovered that

Kinyazev, okay stop putting it in every other word, works for Lex Luthor. They're just like they're taunting you. Bruce then expresses his intention to break

into Luthor's house as Batman but Alfred's quick to point out that would be unnecessary as Luthor has already invited Bruce to attend an upcoming fundraiser. None of this is necessary at all.

Okay, I'd love to not talk about it. Yeah. Great. Okay. At Lex Luthor's fundraiser event, Clark is representing the Daily Planet while Bruce aims to infiltrate information regarding the white Portuguese and its occupant. Among the event is what? Oh, antique stealer Diana Prince Galgado.

Suspicious about Bruce, Clark approaches him, claims he wants to interview him. Then they discuss Batman's brutal activities in Gotham and different perceptions of Superman and the nature of the world. Clark condemns Bruce's alter ego and Bruce's unapologetic in saying Superman's a threat to humanity.

Bruce later leaves to retrieve his data collected from the main frame of Lex's house. It's just so exhausting. It is. So was it exciting to see Gal Gadot? No. I've never seen Wonder Woman. So this is the first time you've ever seen her.

So that's the first time she's doing the Wonder Woman stuff. So it's bad enough this plot is already so complicated, but now they're adding hey, we gotta the Wonder Woman stuff. I mean, she's a fun actress. So it's bad enough this plot is already so complicated, but now they're adding, hey, we got to introduce Wonder Woman in the rest of the Justice League as well in order to set up the next movie. It felt late.

It's way too late. It's shoehorned into these scenes when you should be focusing on the Batman-Superman conflict. Yeah, and then I was like, are they going to date? What's happening here? And then it was like,

no, I don't know. But this is the first time you've ever seen her. And yeah. Yeah. So the rest of the world is busy debating whether Superman has been a positive or negative addition to planet Earth. And Clark returns home to Smallville based on the show to visit his mother, Martha. It's very interesting because in this movie, the town Smallville is based on that show.

It is. Yeah. They're like, we made this town. It's kind of like this show from the WB. His mom is Diane Lane, who I think is fantastic. She's great. She's just delightful.

But I was like, why? Why are we now in Smallville? We're now eight hours into this movie. Why are we doing with Superman's mommy? What are we doing? And then the whole, they're both,

their moms are named Martha, which comes out later, Batman and Superman. Oh my God. Why did you say Martha? Why did you say Martha? Why did you say Martha? And I was like, oh, my God, Ben, get a grip. So stupid.

And I was like, wait. It's the part everyone makes fun of about this movie. I remember seeing it and everyone just laughing during it. Did everyone, did they already name the mom Martha in the comics? Yes, so both of these comics were introduced in the 30s, and back then, if you had to make an older woman character, they were always named Martha. Martha.

Oh, it's like a Georgian Martha. What is that? I don't know what I'm talking about. Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? Yeah, that's something. Yeah, thank you. You're welcome. But there are old lady names traditionally in comics, and that's...

So they just kind of go like, if you're old, you're Martha. Yeah. You're a Martha. And then they're like, why are you saying Martha? It's like, everyone's Martha. Why do you think it's just about you? Don't you know what's going on? So Bruce and Diana meet again.

And Diana explains that she borrowed the data because she believes Lex Luthor has a photo of her, which she was unable to acquire due to the drive being protected by a military grade encryption. And then when they were like, the data decrypting. Yeah, they were like, data decryption happening. So that's the picture of her in like World War II or whatever that she wanted back? Oh, World War I. So this is the first time we're ever seeing Wonder Woman, and they know they're making a Wonder Woman movie set in World War I.

Oh. So they're trying to figure out how to introduce all the members of the justice league they do it really awkwardly and inelegantly and why would she want i mean yeah okay yeah it's great to have a picture of you with your lost love this is chris pine is her boyfriend who's like gone now right he dies in the first wonder woman movie am i crazy i don't feel like we need to have everyone appear in a movie first

before I can watch a movie about them. No. I'm like, just make a movie about Wonder Woman and now that's that story. You guys did the Marvel Universe

where everyone had their own movie before they teamed up in the Avengers. They were trying to leapfrog over that. They're like reverse engineering. They're like,

no one's going to want to watch a Flash movie're like no one's gonna want to watch a flash movie no one's gonna want to watch a one you know like we need to introduce them in this thing that people are already gonna because everyone's hyped for batman versus superman we need to introduce the justice league in this one so then we can make a justice league movie next okay i understand the thought process oh yeah but it doesn't work it all. It doesn't make sense. Now, this part I really hated. While decrypting the drive, Bruce falls asleep and has a nightmare of a post-apocalyptic world where Superman leads a regime over the world and Batman leads an insurgency to stop him. Batman arrives at a meeting point where a truck supposedly carrying kryptonite arrives.

However, Batman is betrayed and a battle ensues. Batman is eventually captured. Superman arrives and kills others tied up with him. Superman unmasks Batman and states that she was my world and you took her from me and then crushes

Batman's chest. As Bruce wakes up, a time traveler, Ezra Miller, from the future arrives, tells Bruce Lois Lane's the key. The time traveler

quickly realizes he came too soon and pivots, warning Bruce that he's always been right about Superman and should fear him and then Bruce is like,

what? Where are my decryption done? I was like, I didn't like how it was a dream. Right. I didn't realize it was a dream till he woke up. Me neither. What the fuck? It's so confusing.

And it's what it's doing is setting up not the next movie, but the movie after that. Whoa. They're thinking too far ahead. And I think it's, again, it's just zach snyder going like what would be cool to film um yeah it was like a whole different world it's i think it's based on a video game the the batman with his trench coat so it's like a look that he wanted to film like some of those batman looks in this movie yeah he had so many weird looks well we'll dumb we'll talk about the one during the fight. When he had really thick stuff on. Yeah.

He was wearing like monster boots. That's based on Dark Knight. I didn't like that. That's a real Frank Miller look. I didn't like it either. Because I was like, he doesn't need this level of protection. He always lives. The other thing is, why is he working out so much? It's like Superman is so much stronger.

Yeah. But so the whole thing that they're setting up in this scene is the second Justice League movie that he wants to make, which is Lois Lane dies. It drives Superman so crazy that he succumbs to Darkseid, who is the villain in the Justice League movie. He succumbs to his anti-life equation, which is this thing that turns people into zombies, right? And so then Batman leads a ragtag group of the DC heroes and the Joker to fight Superman. The Joker being Jared Leto, by the way. Yeah. being Jared Leto.

Oh. By the way. Yeah. Okay. It's so crazy to slip that in the middle of this movie but at the same time

something exciting is happening so it's but but this movie should be a two hour movie if you stripped out

everything that you don't need and got to the fight between Oh it's it's just an insane movie where it's like everything that Zack Snyder wants to film

and then just how do we justify all of this stuff happening? And they barely do. I have to say I like that Superman is monogamous and loves Lois so much. It makes him sick whenever he can't be with her and something's fucked up with her. Because if you had a super dick... It is nice.

If I had a super dick, I could fuck everyone. But I just want to fuck Lois And they wouldn't even know it. That's the other thing Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't even know because I look like a guy But my dick's super No, just be fast about it Why are you always so fast that they don't even know they had sex He's like, that was awesome for me

Okay, so blah blah blah Superman has a responsibility to let his partner have an orgasm as well. They need to come first. He can't be so fast in the bedroom. Plus, I don't think he is based on that tub scene. Again, I think he takes his time. I think he takes it nice and slow.

I think that Superman, that's the other thing, is he has impervious skin. Oh. But in order to have feeling in his penis, I think his penis is even more sensitive than... You do think about this. Due to my calculations, his dick is sensitive. There was a Mr. Show sketch I was trying to pitch where Superman had super skin that was bulletproof other than his balls. And Lex Luthor figured out the way to, the way to,

to defeat him was kicking him in the ball. That's it. That's funny. That's it. That's the thing that takes Superman down. Not kryptonite. Oh, come on.

My super balls. Let's kick. The fuck? We can zip, let's zip up. There's so much. We gotta skip along. And you guys haven't even gotten to the fight

or even worse, the last half hour? No, no, no. There's truly too many pages. There's so much stuff. So Zod. Batman intercepts the kryptonite package in his Batmobile. But before you get the kryptonite,

Superman shows up and tells Batman that his idea is dead and he should bury it. Batman ends up letting, or no, Superman lets Batman go. Batman asks if he can bleed after Superman flies away. Yeah, this is in the, when I was watching it in the theater, this is where it goes off the rails to me. Because this is where nothing makes sense anymore after this. Because Batman saying like, do you bleed? You will.

And Superman being so like, hey bro you're you got to stop being batman none of it is justified at this point um i feel like it went off the rails for me as soon as it began yeah i from the jump i was like who are what is happening what's going on um so then batman returns to the bat cave where he learns from a tracking device that he implanted on a truck that kryptonite has been taken to lex corp uh research park i mean we're i gotta jump a little bit yeah because it's just too many details um okay so in washington dc superman meets lois at her hotel suite and laments on his failures to stop the bombing and his role as superman lois tries to convince him because there's a bomb yeah lex luther has set up he's recruited scoop mcnary to testify before congress and gives him a wheelchair to do it no one knows that there's

a bomb in the wheelchair because it's lead lined with super superman cannot see through lead that's why that's a key detail that's a key detail why he was not able to stop the bomb so he feels bad about that lead is so random I think back when Superman was first introduced in the 30s

lead was like a very special very special thing that you would like line things with lead or you'd put something behind lead it's like why

everyone's poisoned yeah Lois tries to convince him that he must remain a symbol of hope and then he flies away and then he uses then Lex uses the fingerprints of Zod to enter the Genesis chamber

this is important, the Genesis chamber of the Fortress of Solitude in Heroes Park and he learns information on hundreds of thousands of recorded worlds, so he goes into this bucket of baked beans, right? this is when this happens? he walks straight into beans this is the ship that you saw from the first superman movie

that of zod that was everyone was trying to kill each other that's he figures out how to access like all the information that they brought from krypton and he he gets the dna from this kryptonian and cuts himself and mixes it with his own blood, which is what creates the monster at the end. Yeah, which was really gross. Yeah, I didn't like that monster. The monster or the blood? Just the fact that his blood created it and then the way that it looked. Yeah, it was weird.

Yeah. Bruce begins physical training in the Batcave to prepare for his fight against Superman while simultaneously converting the Kryptonite into three gas grenades and a Kryptonite-tipped spear. He's making little weapons. He discovers data folders of Lex's on metahumans, and one contains surveillance on Diana, and she's Wonder Woman, and he figures that out. Meanwhile, Lex brings the corpse of General Zod to the Genesis Chamber. This is so weird. And Keillor warns him of the ban of genetic modification by the Kryptonian Law Council.

Who's Keillor? I don't know. Was that the North talking to him? This is all Kryptonian shit that they brought over from Krypton. So this is when he mixes his blood and he makes the goo guy. Yeah. And he doesn't care that it's illegal because he's rich and tough. Yeah.

Also, I think they're trying to set up like, hey, don't do this because we've had failures with it in the past. So they're trying to set up that he shouldn't be doing it because it turns this thing into a monster at the end. Which it did. So then Clark, he goes to a snowy mountaintop and his dad is there. It's Kevin Costner.

His dad who died in the first Superman movie, by the way. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So he is dead. Kent recalls his childhood particularly one bad rainy season blah blah blah blah blah in smallville martha's kidnapped uh batman shines the bat signal into a stormy sky as lex watches from lex corp tower across the bay yeah superman saves uh lois lane before confronting lexuthor. He pushes her off the building. Yeah, which was pretty rude.

And then Lex shows Superman photographs of his kidnapped mother and offers an ultimatum. If he doesn't kill Batman within 30 minutes, then Martha Kent will die by fire. And he uses a little kitchen timer that's like plastic. He's like, time's running out. And he's being a little jokery about it. He's like, time is running out.

Also, the photographs, I don't know why they, why do we want to see Superman's mother gagged and, they're almost like snuff film photographs. I don't get the aesthetic here, like why it's turning

Zack Snyder on to humiliate Superman's mother like this. I don't know. It's a weird choice to me. It's very strange. So this part i thought was kind of corny a little bit so at heroes park the fortress of solitude begins to emit electric

discharges to the surrounding buildings elsewhere diana receives an email from bruce showing her the photograph of her from 1918 okay so then this just slows everything down where they diana then like clicks on all these links and views. So she's seeing surveillance footage of the Flash. Jason Momoa being like kind of floating towards the screen. And like sticking a spear. It was like so weird. I'm like what is this

POV? So stupid. And then Cyborg's Silas Stone. Yeah the other superhero is Cyborg and you see his origin story and she's just sitting there watching this on a computer and we're like what where aren't you aren't batman and superman gonna fight are you wonder woman why are you on your phone like me yeah like stop looking at this bullshit and go to wherever you're supposed to be then lois returns

to the daily planet she rides a helicopter. Okay. And then in Gotham, Superman meets Batman in his armored bat suit and tries to explain the situation. Batman does not bother to listen as he activates sonar cannons

and machine gun turrets against Superman to no visible effect. And you don't need anything before that because Batman already has a reason to fight Superman.

His employees died in that building. Right, right. That's enough. And then they fight. Batman fires two kryptonite gas grenades at him and gains the upper hand. Batman grabs the weekend Superman and drags him over to his

kryptonite. The weekend Superman. The weekend. He's only Superman on the weekend. No, it's the weekend version of the singer. And drags him over to his kryptonite spear. As Batman is about to kill Superman, Superman pleads with Batman to save Martha. They go off about whose martha matters more because so this is why you see martha being killed at the beginning it doesn't so we care so that so that so that he's like martha

how can i save martha because batman was unable to save his own martha he then wants to say so he thinks he's being taunted by him. Superman and Lois explain the situation to Batman. No, his mom's Martha too. And then I was like, how did Lois appear there? It was lucky that she was translating for them. It was just luck.

Yeah. And she even says it at one point. Lucky thing I walked in here. He promises to rescue Martha Kent while Superman investigates the electric discharges. Lois grabs the spear, throws it into a pool of water to dispose of it. That was silly, too. She's like, uh! That was very silly.

It's like, now we're good. And he gets up. He's like, I'm fine now. It's far enough away. Yeah. Batman kind of looks like he's dressed for a rave. Like, with his big stompers. He looks nuts.

Big moon boots. They're almost like Uggs yeah they kind of are like it makes it makes it such a waste that ben affleck got so fit for the role too because you're like he's so bundled up he looks like a kid going to school in a snowstorm no it's it's that it is the frank miller uh aesthetic frank miller who wrote and drew the dark knight that this is all based on is very into like shoes and boots uh like like all of his characters have big ass boots on and you see the treads of the boots all the time so that's that's like his artistic style and so they're trying to recreate that but it looks kind of silly it looks random i feel maybe if other people had something it

would have been better but what they're trying to do is like when you saw the Marvel movies, the Hulkbuster Iron Man, the giant Iron Man armor that fights the Hulk. It's all sort of based on this of like Batman's trying to get big and buff and armored up in order to put him and Superman on an even playing field. It looks cooler as Iron Man. Yeah. I agree. him and Superman on an even playing field. It looks cooler as Iron Man. Yeah. And more. I agree. So let's see. Okay.

Martha's safe. Then Lex executes his backup plan. By the way, Martha's safe. It doesn't make, to me, it doesn't make any sense that Batman is now totally on Superman's side. Yeah. Here just because he heard the name Martha. Right.

So because now he goes to save. But he wants to save a mom. Yes. But he goes and name Martha. Because now he goes to save... But he wants to save a mom. But he goes and saves Martha and they have a line where he captures Diane Lane and he goes, Hi, I'm a friend of your son's. That's so lame. They're friends now?

We're pals. We're best buddies. Batman and Superman. It doesn't make any sense but they have to get there in order for the next movie to make sense yeah so Lex unleashes an ancient Kryptonian deformity known as Doomsday designed to

kill Superman I didn't catch his name as the monster awakens I didn't catch his name either this is the problem with the movie okay so the whole movie is like we want to see Batman and Superman fight. And when they announced this at Comic-Con years before it came out, and Zack Snyder said, the next Superman movie, no one had any idea Batman was in it. He says, the sequel to Superman is, and they show the poster, Batman versus Superman. And it's based on the fight in the Dark Knight.

Everyone goes crazy, right? That's what we want to see. But you can't set up the next movie with having them fight and have a resolution of a fight. So they're like, how do we end this movie? This is a totally separate comic book. The Death of Superman. We don't need Doomsday.

The Death of Superman was years later where a big Kryptonian monster named Doomsday kills Superman. It was a big media event. It's just shoehorned in here as the last half hour of this movie. Yeah, like we already have a conflict. I don't really need this guy. So it's, yeah, suddenly there's a big monster for the last half hour of the movie that we don't give a shit about. It doesn't make any sense.

No, and it's so gross. Yeah, he's a really gross to look at. Wonder Woman like lassoes him and stuff. Wonder Woman comes. She's like, hey, boys, let's team up and be the Justice League. She's really strong. I liked that. And then they're fighting this.

It would have been funny if she was really weak. She's like, ow! She's like, ow, that hurt. Ew. Oh, my God, my nail broke. So they're fighting him together. And then Superman is floating in oh, that hurt. Ew. Oh, my God. My nail broke. So they're fighting him together. And then Superman is floating in space, extremely weak. This made me laugh when he was all like, he looked like a raisin floating in space after they send a rocket.

He looked like one of the California raisins, like the one who has the sunglasses and the saxophone. He looked just like that. And he sang the same song. Rendered, and he's thin, he's undead in appearance. Soon he's exposed to radiation from the yellow sun

reinvigorating Superman's cells. It returns him to full power. He proceeds to fly towards Doomsday, sending the monster flying into a gas tank. Superman, Wonder Woman,

and Batman, they get in formation. They battle the monster. And they cut off his hand and then something grows back in the place of it and meanwhile Lois is in Gotham trying to retrieve the spear from underwater. She's like oh remember that spear

I threw away? This was a stressful scene to me. What if I got it back? It's so poorly done like I've never seen a movie like this where one of the heroes throws something away and then goes oh shit I gotta go back and get it yeah that's really silly like she literally did it to herself oopsies she didn't throw that away Superman can hear her drowning he flies to rescue her he retrieves the spear Wonder Woman temporarily restrains Doomsday with lasso and Superman sees

the only way to stop Doomsday is to risk his own life. He says goodbye to Lois with a kiss, takes the spear. But I couldn't believe how much time they took. They took so much time for him to be with Lois Lane. And I was like, there is a literal goopy, nasty monster out there. We gotta kill that thing.

He exposes himself to the substance of kryptonite in the process of flying. Are you a scientist now, Lauren? Yeah, I added kryptonite. So yeah, he exposed himself and that was a risk he was willing to take. But then it like weakens him, but then he could fly into him just fine. I know. I was like, what is the logic here?

He stabs him in the chest. Okay, then Superman is mortally wounded. Now, I didn't think he was going to pass on. Yeah, he's got a fucking hole in his chest. Okay, then Superman is mortally wounded. No, I didn't think he was going to pass on. Yeah, he's got a fucking hole in his chest. He gets buried in a casket

with an S on it and I thought how many people tried to get that casket like for themselves after they saw this? Oh, the ultimate collectors. Is it a cool casket

to like have? It's just an option in the catalog. Yeah, it kind of should be. After the Barbie movie they probably had some Barbie caskets too. Oh my oh my god oh i bet you're right um so they have a funeral for him in smallville wait but first i'm like who's in the superman casket they bring that up they say that it's

oh they did yeah what they say they say isn't it crazy that everyone is mourning an empty casket in the official funeral for Superman while Clark Kent, the real dead Superman, is here in Smallville? Wow. This is when I was fighting for my life. I had toothpicks holding my eyes open. I was like, what? The casket did pique my interest enough. Anytime you see a casket. The casket did pique my interest enough.

Anytime you see a casket. I actually feel like there was still a lot of the movie left at this point because I switched rooms after the casket. You switched rooms. Because I was like, I'm going to wash my face. I got to wash this in two separate locations. I was getting really tired. So I went, I got to wash my face, get ready for bed, and then I'm going to finish it because otherwise it's going to be, you know. And then it went on for much longer. Yet there's only two sentences here.

I don't remember it going on much longer. Well, there's's the lex luther stuff yeah they had to do the whole fight we didn't get no no no the the in jail oh right where he shaved his head but anyway so so lois puts dirt on the on the on the grave and then it starts to float which gives us the impression that maybe he's gonna be okay after all is being buried alive. That's sad. I know. But Lex Luthor shaves his head. He goes to jail. He goes to jail. Batman visits him and is like you can see him about

to brand him like he branded all the other criminals. But he doesn't. He pulls back. He brands the wall. He brands the wall and he also has a conversation with Wonder Woman where he's like we got to get everyone together to as a group to be the Justice League. We got to find all these people who are like us. He's just a rich guy, by the way.

I don't know why he's like including himself in this like us kind of thing. But we got to we got to band together because something's coming. He just has a feeling something's coming. And he goes, I failed him in life. I won't fail him in death like this the just 180 that he makes on superman does yeah is not justified at all where now he's like i'm a friend oh he's the the best guy in the world i gotta live up to his ideals but i think what they're trying to say is like okay i'm no longer the crazy fascist bat. Yeah. I'm like back to protecting people Batman.

All right. I'll accept. I accept. Should we jump into the awards and reception of this film? Of course. Of course we should, Lauren. So it earned $166 million in the U.S. and Canada on its opening weekend. It became the eighthth highest grossing

film of all time. But was also a disappointment. People were personally sad, but they went to view it. No, no. It did not make as much money as they wanted it to. Oh, okay. Well, in its second weekend, Batman v. Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition

experienced a historic box office drop with an 81.2% decline on Friday. That was one of the biggest Friday to Friday drops any blockbuster has ever seen. And an overall 68.4% drop for the weekend, despite not facing any big competition at the box office. People hated it. Wow.

And they told everyone, don't go. Yes. Don't go. The film holds 29% on Rotten Tomatoes, and it was overall panned by critics. Wow, this is one of the first times where we're matching up, I feel like, with what we've done. Yes, this movie was hot trash. Yeah, okay. No Wayne, let's read some trivia.

In a Vulture article where celebrities were asked who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman, Michael Shannon, who played Zod, answered, I'm so utterly unconcerned with the outcome of that it's so profoundly utterly unconcerned I can't even come up with a fake answer I guess he's so awesome he gives like awesome interviews great I guess I have to root for Superman because he killed me so I would hope that he would continue his killing spree and become like a serial killer Superman that's a new take on Superman we'd all be in a heap of trouble if Superman was a serial killer he could just wipe us all out but then he'd be lonely

that's a great answer that is the the plot of mark wade's irredeemable by the way wow so someone took that idea no but i mean it already existed but yeah well they took it in the past yep he's a time traveler composer han zimmer said this will be the last superhero movie for which he will compose music for this movie broke han zimmer i don't i actually really noticed the music this time more than ever and i liked it well they there are there are two themes the wonder woman theme is introduced here yeah i noticed which is very big yeah but also the lex luther theme the bong bingong bang oh yeah uh that is used in justice league a little bit too everyone had a little theme yeah it's kind of cute but i think hon

zimmer the issue for him was he was trying not to replicate what he did in the dark knight um whenever batman came on screen he's just like this is too confusing now oh okay this is a weird fact gal gadot had 16 lines in the film. She's given one or two more lines in the extended cut. I'm like, yeah, she didn't have any lines.

Why is that a fact? Yeah. Yeah, she barely was in the movie. But they're just throwing her in there to introduce Wonder Woman. I mean, 16 lines.

It is fewer than I thought, I guess. Okay, let's take a quick break and we'll be back with more Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition after this.

We're back. This segment's called Holy Batman. Batman in this new segment will rate Ben Affleck on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale. We're going to use our phones to rank them on five unique characteristics. Preparedness. How prepared is this Batman? Does he get to use his little gadgets and tools? Detective ability.

Does this Batman get to be a little detective? Is he good at mystery solving? Voice gravelliness. How gravelly is this Batman's voice? Sadness. How lonely, brooding, emo is this Batman? And finally, hotness slash horniness. How hot and how horny is this Batman? Oh finally, hotness slash horniness. How hot and how horny is this Batman? So you do this and then

you fill out this little form and then we'll see what our average is for what we thought of this Batman. Okay, I did it. Okay, great. Is everyone locked in? I'm locked in. I have all my answers locked in. Okay, so for preparedness we locked in? I'm locked in. I have all my answers locked in. Okay. So for preparedness, we gave this Batman a 56%. I feel like he wasn't really particularly...

Well, he made the kryptonite aerosol spray. Yeah. That's pretty prepared. He was prepared. I think. He made the big spear with the tip where he said, just the tip, Superman. He did. Yeah.

Yeah. He was like, just the tip. Don't touch the tip, though. Just the tip. Yeah. I guess he was sort of doing some stuff, but it just felt like he was kind of like, he wasn't listening to Alfred. He wasn't.

No. I feel like he didn't care. He was just like doing his own thing and he was like, whatever. I just hate Superman. Yeah. Okay. Detective ability we gave him can you make it a little bigger i i gave him a zero because i i i thought he was kind of stupid

the entire time we gave him 26 i agree i think i gave him a little bit of leeway here but i don't know why you have a batman movie coming up that i think he's even worse in as a detective oh no oh great um voice what movie is that on? The Batman. The. Oh. Voice gravelliness, 100%. He was completely modulated. Now, I was wondering because I was going to go 100 or I was going to go zero because it's all fake. But he's technically, because he uses the voice modulator, he's more gravelly than any other Batman.

He's the most gravelly we've seen um i felt it was so fake that i was like that's a that's almost weird like i just like i wanted to hear his real voice more i think but it's okay they did a lot of that with christian bale too didn't they they made it or didn't they modify it yeah sadness 34.3%. He's more angry the whole time than sad. I thought that he was pretty sad just because he seemed pathetic to me. I've seen sadder Batmans, I feel. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't sad because he didn't seem to... This one wasn't too sad.

He was sad about his mom, but he didn't seem to have the sadness that we have, that Michael Keaton was more of a brooding, like, my life is so tragic. Hotness, hoardiness, 41.3. I gave him 100 because of this scene that I might have imagined where he's in the shower. Because I don't remember that. I don't remember it either. We're going to need. I remember it.

That said, I feel like you're both on your phone the entire movie. That's not true. It's not true. I truly tried to watch this movie. I tried so hard. It was so hard. It's tough. To get to the butt, which is like the dessert.

Why didn't you text me that there was a butt? I would have paid more attention. I feel like I'm going to look this up. We're going to find out. Should I just put in Batman's butt and see what pops up? Yeah, put in Batman's butt. Put it in Batman's butt. Darian Killam's new segment we have to jump to.

How did the score score? So do we like the score by Hans Zimmer? We kind of touched on this already, but I liked it. I thought it was fun. I think there's some pretty iconic moments in it. And now, did Junkie XL also do part of the score? And I noticed that, yes. It did say Junkie XL at the beginning with Hans Zimmer.

And then it was a little more amped up. And I was like, that's the Junkie XL coming into play, I think. Yeah, I think. Not knowing who that is at all. I think the iconic Wonder Woman. Yeah, who's Junkie XL? I don't know, but I was like, that's the Junkie XL coming into play, I think. Yeah, I think. Not knowing who that is at all. I think the iconic Wonder Woman. Yeah, who's Junkie XL? I don't know, but I was on board instantly. He's like a DJ who did the Wonder Woman score.

I think the iconic Wonder Woman thing is actually Junkie XL's edition, but I could be wrong. What a fun name. It is fun. How did Junkie XL pick that name? I know. Just a little messy and fat? He also did the Mad Max score, I believe.

Okay, here's a picture of the butt. Dang, I missed that. It's a good butt. Dang, I missed it too. If you Google it, you'll find it. Yeah. Five kapows. Even lighter.

They've lightened it a little bit. Okay, maybe I do remember this. I don't know. He farts out of that. Well, sure, but it's cool. but it's still nice time for reviews once again we are going to reading reviews from letterboxd and then we'll each give a one sentence review ourselves and a star rating so if you don't know letterboxd is a social platform where people can write reviews of films are you on letterboxd personally um maybe okay privately under a fake name you can follow

the show on letterboxd at newcomers um here's one two stars from garden of eden fell asleep watching this in the theater hey my friend but the martha martha part was funny see and three stars from a sinky pinky blah blah blah just kiss already well fair enough. Okay. Nicole, do you have thoughts? Stars? Sure. I'm going to give it half a star and my one sentence review is woof. I hated it.

Top to bottom. What's his name? Zack Snyder? No, no. I think of Snack Cider, which I think is better. Snack Cider. Snack Cider.

Snack Cider has rules. You're bad. I didn't like it. That's funny. Snack cider has rules. You're bad. I didn't like it. That's funny. I'm going to give it one star. I don't think I've gone as low as a half. I feel like there's still room for it to go lower. But my review is more bathtub scene.

Less kryptonite, baby. I guess this is out of five stars yeah I'm gonna probably give it one and a half but because I feel like it's all very watchable

I have very mixed feelings about it because I know you guys aren't gonna watch the Justice League right or we're not watching yeah

Justice League the theatrical cut is even worse it's one of the worst things I've ever seen but zach snyder's version the four hour version that's the quote-unquote that everyone's talking about is actually good and it's it's a fascinating if you're a filmmaker it is one of the most fascinating things to watch to watch the zach snyder version then go back and watch the joss whedon version

to see what they changed. It gives you such an interesting glimpse into how a movie can be changed and all that kind of stuff. But the Zack Snyder Justice League, I don't agree with his

point of view about superheroes at all and what he wants to do with superhero movies, but it is legitimately so much better than the theatrical version and he takes big, big swings.

Yeah. And he films things beautifully. So I can't just say like it's trash, even though he makes bad choices in my opinion, and it's boring. Great. So you gave it one and a half, which is nice. But four hours, that's honestly unhinged.

You know, Kulop did not go to justice league with me because of this movie it was so boring and i went and i came back and i said justice league is so fucking bad and we watched during pandemic we watched the justice league and an hour into it we looked at each other and we're like is this actually really good and we thought it was it's it's very weird but again i don't agree with anything he's plotting or making the superheroes do, but it's interesting. Somehow it works. Yeah.

Well, okay. And then, as always, we love to read reviews of our own program. This one is five stars from Meg Smith. A blast. Thank you for watching these movies so I don't have to. How is your theme music always so good? Dancing to it now does it change every week

yeah every week it's a new song well it's different with each theme that we're talking about with each season so we encourage you to please out there please go write a review on Apple Podcast you only read the good ones please only the good ones yeah we only

the good one there's no such thing as you have to give five stars the thing doesn't work unless you put five and we pick one to read on the next episode and you can also read on spotify which is simply just clicking five stars and moving on with your day just click it yeah you love it click it or ticket do you click it or ticket sc, do you have anything that you want to plug? Yeah, I have a new podcast with Adam Scott called You Spring and Springsteen on my bean, which is- It flows right off the tongue. Adam and I go through the entire Bruce Springsteen discography.

It's very confusing because you can't find it by that title. You have to, it's under the subheading of You Talking U2 to Me, which is the main, our main show. You did a U2 podcast together. We did a U2 podcast and we didn't want to

make it a different feed for each person. Well, because yeah, then you're gonna, then you're gonna, you want the listeners to keep following you. So it's You Talking U2 to Me, colon, you spring in Springsteen on my bean. I love it.

But yeah, it's been very fun. And then we also went to see U2 at the Sphere in Vegas recently and we have a new U2 episode as well. I saw that. So people can... Oh, that's fun. That looked fun. How's that sphere?

I know. Was it fun? It's wild. Did the sphere come out of nowhere? I feel like I just suddenly knew about a sphere. It was not there the day before. It was like the sphere's here. Okay.

It was. It just dropped down. It's a lot like Zod and his Kryptonian ship. I love references like that. See, Zod, that's the thing. If he had dropped down and just made a concert venue out of all that stuff, he could have made billions. And then all the people would have had fun and been happy instead of dying. Exactly.

By the way, this is not the last you'll be seeing of Zod. What? I don't care. Oh, no. More Zod. Dang. this is not the last you'll be seeing of zod what i don't care oh no more zod there is more zod in your future but you know what but didn't he float away in the baked beans oh yes he did well the next movie we're watching i think we're gonna like this one we're watching the lego batman movie that seems fun okay that seems like a nice time that just seems like a relaxing moment for both of us i think we i think we deserved something like this we need a little

silly time yes um we'll be back next batman in this one will arnett right yeah yeah i think zach is the joker who galifianakis oh awesome our colleague oh what a dream my dear friend um that's amazing i think he's one of the the only Joker people who's ever played the Joker who hasn't won an Academy Award. There's still time. They can do it later. Yeah, there's still time. He's got a whole career. He had to play Joker again.

Yeah. Well, we can't wait to watch that film. We're so excited. Thank you for talking about Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition, Scott. We really appreciate that. This was a blast. Yes, thank you. And we'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye. We did it. Bye. Bye. Newcomers is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanivskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and mastered by Ferris Monchi,

who also composed our theme song. Follow us on Letterboxd at Newcomers and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We might just read it on the next show. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bye. That was a Hiddem Original.