Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Marvel's The Avengers (w/ Ashley Nicole Black)

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

The gang's all here! For Nicole and Lauren's first Avengers film, we invited on friend-of-the-pod (and recent Marvel stan!) Ashley Nicole Black (A Black Lady Sketch Show, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee) to find out what happens when you bring together a group of remarkable people…to see if they could become something more…to see if they could work together when we needed them to…to fight the batt—sorry, we’ll stop. Next week's movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. You were made to be ruled. In the end... It will be every man for himself. What do we do? We get ready. There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people So when we needed them they could fight the battles that we never could

Gentlemen what are you prepared to do? No offense, but I don't play well with others. Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you? A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it. Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled, and I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster. Thanks. Thank you. Wow, wow, wow.

Okay. So this is another episode of Newcomers. I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. We are covering the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, or at least many, many, many films within it. This is the fifth episode of the fifth season of Newcomers. And God, we're doing this Marvel thing. I can't believe we're doing this. I can't believe we're doing this.

Lord, help me. This movie today was garbage, mama. Oh, well, save it. Save it. Save it. We are discussing the first Avengers movie, Marvel's The Avengers from 2012, which you can watch on Disney Plus or for a fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play and Vudu. And we're going to spoil it. So if you don't want it to be, it came out in 2012.

You're late. It was 10 years ago. And if you don't want spoilers, then I don't have to tell you. Get out of here. Get out of here. Before we bring out our guests, tell me, what are your thoughts on this film? I didn't love the film. I'll say that.

I found it to be, I thought I was going to like it more than some of the other ones because we're mixing together our different characters. Yes. And I thought, oh, well, then that'll be fun. Like, we'll see how they interact with each other. It wasn't that funny how they interacted with each other. It wasn't funny at all and then at one point Tony Stark was like how does uh Samuel L Jackson look at all this stuff with his eye patch and he's like he moves his head and I was like what kind of joke is this I know why he's obsessed with that too like that that wasn't like that um little

scene from that we saw at the end of the movie a previous movie where he's like and how do you see what that's it's like what don't you get some people have an eye patch yeah it was very very strange and then i just i got confused about this portal i got really confused okay it took me a really long time to watch this movie i was gonna watch it last night at like midnight and i was like all right maybe it'll be like two hours but it's two hours and 30 minutes. So long. So I watched an hour of it last night and then woke up today, did a jobby thing. You were there. I was.

Then I like sat down. I was like, all right, you got to fucking finish it. And it was, I had to keep stopping and being like, wait, what is happening? Wait, what? I missed so much. Like, I'm actually excited. I mean, I didn't miss it. I watched it. stopping and being like, wait, what is happening? Wait, what? I miss so much. Like, I'm actually excited. I mean, I didn't miss it. I watched it.

I just felt like I was growing. The Tesseract, the Tesseract. Like they said Tesseract, every other word. And then I also was just like, Loki. I have a lot of thoughts about Loki. Mainly that I just don't like looking at him as a character. Me either. The horns are upsetting.

Yeah. The little hair flip from like the 90s doing 70s like what what is that i don't know also nobody was directing the extras whoever the second ad on this movie was did a really bad job of telling them what was happening if there was cgi going like there was people like running and kind of smiling some people were running way faster than others i really wish i did i love that there was there was one going. There was people running and kind of smiling. Some people were running way faster than others. I really wish I did. I love that.

There was one lady where I was like, this lady dirty. She had the biggest boobs I've ever seen and they had her run across frame. And I was like, she got hit in the face so many times with her own boobs. And I'm sure she had to do that a hundred times. And I felt so bad for this woman.

Oh, I guess I was watching the wrong stuff in this i was like these background actors a lot is happening my version of that was i just kept thinking about the green screen and i was like okay so they're in the middle of a stage and there's like a rock that they're standing on and there's nothing else around them and they have to like do this it just was i feel like there was no actual moment where they weren't on a green screen. It was a lot. It was a lot of green screen. I honestly didn't understand Mr. Banner's struggle. I was like, okay, so the Hulk is not your friend or whatever?

He does things to you? But then I was like... The Hulk... I had thoughts about the Hulk because we hadn't seen him before. And I think this was the first time Mark Ruffalo ever was the Hulk. Okay, that's true. Because we had uh ed norton for whatever reason i was almost i said in my heart was jim carrey i should have let you say it i should have let you say it i'm sad i interrupted that i wish it was jim carrey as the hulk that would be so a little fun well okay here's what i'm

excited about. I'm not excited. Actually, you know, I am excited for someone to try to make me like this movie. Yeah. So our guest today, Ashley Nicole Black, is an Emmy-winning writer, actress, comedian, currently starring on A Black Lady Sketch Show, which is on HBO. And we have also learned that she has watched every single Marvel Marvel movie during quarantine so yeah we had to have her on the show welcome to the show Ashley

we can't wait to get into the Avengers with you I'm so excited the funny thing is the first time I watched this movie I had the exact experience you guys just described. I tried to watch it on a plane. So it obviously wasn't when it first came out because it was on the plane, but closer to when it came out. And I had never seen any of the Marvel movies and the Avengers was on the plane. I'll put this on. And I kept falling asleep because the story is like hard to find. My brain was just like shutting down. And then the CGI was not as good back then.

So there's a good like 40 minutes of movie. They're just colors whooshing across. Because it's like once he's like jumping or flying or whatever, it's not the Hulk. It's just like a green swoosh sort of. Yeah. Yeah. As you're dozing off on a plane. But I will say going back in quarantine and

watching all of them it increased my enjoyment for some of the movies that aren't as good so what inspired you to watch them all during quarantine oh good question i think i oh i watched wandavision and i fucking loved WandaVision. But there were obviously like some references I didn't get because I hadn't seen the Marvel movies. I tried to watch WandaVision. That red man really upset me. I don't even know what you're talking about. There's a red man who just like, I don't know.

He like reminded me of my period. And I was like, I don't want to watch a personification of my period walking around and talking and having a nice time he's like a person who was skinned alive oh yeah he does like he looks like the muscles like in that museum where they show all the muscles of the body the bodies exhibit oh god so wait ashley do you like do you like these movies? Do they bring you happiness? Do they bring you happy? They bring me happy. I'm in for anything that's like a lot of things. Like when I was a kid, I loved Harry Potter. I love the Chronicles of Narnia. Like anytime you ask me, they're like, pay close attention.

We're going to bring this back. I'm in. It's like a very long Herald. It's like, you gotta look for the Chronicles back. Yeah. So that was why I think also coming in at WandaVision, it was like, oh, I really enjoy this show. There's obviously pieces I'm missing here.

How did they get here? And so they published a little thing that's like, watch these three movies to get WandaVision. I watched those. Which ones are those? I think Endgame, obviously. Whichever one is the one where the city floats away. You guys know the one where there's a city floating away.

That's where you meet Wanda. There's a city floating away? That's where you meet Wanda. There's a city floating away? Wanda, like, is she played by Elizabeth Olsen in the movie? Yes. Oh, neat. Yes. And I'm a big Elizabeth Olsen fan because she played Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's sister in The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. So big fan from when she was young.

That's a tough role. The City Floor movie is Age of Ultron. My assistant just texted me from... Oh my god, I love that. And we're gonna watch WandaVision later, so at least... All of it? I'm glad because... No, there's no chance. No. Oh my god.

Wait, here's my promise to you. If you watch the first four episodes of WandaVision, that's shorter than any Marvel movie. Oh! They're very short. I can get behind that. Yeah, me too. We spend a lot of time watching these films.

This one being two and a half hours was really jarring. When I turned that on, I went, okay, so I don't get to watch The Bachelor tonight. I was like, this is so intense. This is so intense how long they are. And I really, this one. I was like, this is so intense. This is so intense how long they are. And I really, this one I was like, this could have been an hour shorter. I think so. I think it could have been 45 minutes.

We could have gotten in. But then we had to gather the Avengers. We had to see Samuel L. Jackson literally knock on doors and be like, hey, excuse me. So like, we're doing this. Do you want to avenge? Do you want to avenge oh god i yeah a lot was happening to the point where i was just like am i dumb i wondered if i was dumb during it a little bit but i also felt like it was they weren't having as much fun with it as i as they

have in other movies that we've watched. Where I was expecting it to be a little bit like, I don't know, a little goofier at some points. Or like just a little, just fun. Just a little lighter. It really felt like the kind of thing a little boy would really like. Yeah. Where it's like, they're fighting and he slammed him. And then he slammed him and then he fell off the cliff.

I was like, alright. Yeah. They're fighting and he slammed him and then he slammed him and then he fell off the cliff. All right. I also had an issue with Thor because I feel like Thor left Natalie Portman down on Earth or whatever and like couldn't get back. And they're like, oh, I'm watching her. But then I was like, so you came down to Earth and I didn't even get a hello. You didn't call her? Yes. Yes. That's actually crazy.

Not a DM? Nothing? They should have made out. My issue with this movie, and it kind of continues with the Avenger movies, is like the joy of something like this for me is like following the characters from the movie and watching their relationships change and grow or whatever.

But at this point in Marvel, every time there's a movie they just recreate the characters from scratch so like in iron man scarlett johansson and iron man like don't get along and they have like an interesting thing going on but then when you come to avengers scarlett johansson now like has a crush on mark ruffalo and it's like none of those things ever happen right i don't know where i don't know if you guys are watching in order but as you go forward then she'll just have a new personality in the next movie and it's like you're kind of missing the opportunity to do the most fun thing which is like watch these relationships change

and yeah thor forgets about natalie portman and it's like how could you yeah i just and then also the guy the doctor guy was like working on stuff because Loopy, Loki. Oh my God. There you go. Loki. Loki was like controlling him or whatever. And then I was like, when he comes to, he doesn't even call her to be like, Thor's here, girl. Get down here.

I was like, why does nobody care about that? That's his friend. Yeah. That's true. When they got changed by Loki, that was one of the grossest things ever. When they would like come over and like make their eyes go black and then blue. I was like, this is sick.

This is sick. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll jump back in with all of the plot points one could possibly want from The Avengers. We're back. Okay, time for Boopity Boo Daily Bugle. In our new segment this season,

we're going to give a recap of what's been going on lately in the MCU. So Moon Knight released some new character posters for Oscar Isaac's various alt phase altars slash phases and the Disney plus series. Oh, I guess I didn't realize that he had different. He was different people. Me neither. Oh, yeah. He has multiple personalities.

That one looked kind of good. Remember we watched that trailer. Yeah. But now again, I'm like, am I dumb? Because I did not get that from the trailer. I don't think I got that. Oh, it's not from the trailer. Oh, thank God. Is this a good time for me to make a confession? Yeah. Yes, please. Okay. So I really enjoyed

WandaVision. I listened to a podcast where they talked about WandaVision and then I just kept listening to that podcast because I like these girls. And now I listen to this whole podcast about all these TV shows that I don't watch. They love Star Wars. They love Moonlight. They love all this. And I just every day listen to them talk about content that I have no intention of watching. So that's why I know that he has multiple. That is so funny. It's like us in an alternate reality where we like all the things. Yeah. If you get a group of people together to be nice to each other i'm gonna tune in you know oh my god okay so um wait did you read this second part no no so according to a marvel tiktoker some fans are annoyed that women find mr knight and his rolled up sleeves the most

attractive wait why are you annoyed well, first of all, yeah, which one would you want to have sex with? There's the one where he's in a hoodie and he looks like he's glaring at you. There's one where he has a mask over his face, but he's rolling up his sleeves. And then there's the third one where he looks like a mummy with a cape. I guess I'm gonna go with the first one because I can get to them juicy lips yeah any of them that look like Oscar Isaacs yeah I agree with that I mean like he's definitely very attractive although I do see why the rolling up the sleeves one is kind of hot I do see the hotness but you're gonna roll up your sleeves and then do what I know I'm scared what's gonna happen next it feels threatening almost yeah

especially with no mouth. No, no. He's going to hit me? No. But do you see he's like in the background of it? Like he's behind it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, this is.

Hmm. I wonder if I'll watch it. Probably not. Yeah, I probably won't unless we have to. Have to, yeah. Yeah. Sean Levy will direct Deadpool 3, the first Deadpool film at Marvel Studios. That's some news.

Oh, congrats, Sean. Sean, good for you. I haven't seen Deadpool, but I hear it's funny. I watched the second one and I think I was either on mushrooms or very or an edible. I don't remember. But oh boy, did I tee hee hee and I couldn't tell you what happens in it. But I did have a nice time that's good thank you so okay the Defenders franchise I don't know about this one uh a franchise of

Marvel television shows Daredevil Jessica Jones Luke Cage Iron Fish the Fist the Punisher I don't know any of these people moved from Netflix disney plus this decision has raised eyebrows from parents groups due to the graphic and sexual nature of the content they have accused disney of tarnishing their brand wait okay what all right well oh i get it they basically bought these other marvel shows or whatever yeah but wasn't but didn't they buy Marvel Studios it wasn't like Disney was doing Marvel movies at first these were under Marvel Studios but Marvel television was a little more separate and so they were on Netflix um and they were run by a guy named Jeff Loeb and then Kevin Feige took back like the television shows. That's interesting. Have you guys seen Jessica Jones?

No. It's actually so good. I love it. It doesn't feel like a Marvel show. Like the bad guy in Jessica Jones is the guy who raped Jessica Jones. Like she's like a, just a normal,

like she has powers, but she's also just a woman who was assaulted and is dealing with the fallout of assault. Wow. It's good. It's really good. Sounds good.

But that's why parents are like, oh, so the rapist is on Disney Plus now? I mean, you know, just don't let your kid click on it, I guess. Yeah. Or let them learn what life is. I mean, yeah. I think, like, first of all, I watched tons of things that were completely inappropriate as a kid, so I think that's just fine and it's going to happen anyway. But I do kind of feel like Disney Plus plus as an app you'd think it would just

be a totally safe app where like any you can watch anything and it's like not gonna be you just hand them the remote yeah yeah so that's kind of weird can't you just like put kid access like you know sometimes the car door won't open because you got the child don't they have that for like tv like kids can't get there that's what i thought they did they Don't they have that for like TV? Like kids can't get there. That's what I thought they did. They do. They do have that, but I don't,

I'm sure there are levels to that on Disney's app too, yeah. If you don't want your kid to watch Little Mermaid because that has bad messages. Because she's wearing a bra. Yeah. She's wearing a bra. She doesn't have legs.

And she gives away her power so she can get a kiss. And that's what I want my kid to watch. Only when she's a human getting kisses. That's all I want. You gotta know that men don't like women with voices. And the sooner you learn that, the better.

If you shut up, he'll kiss you. He doesn't even need to know your name. Isn't that great? Shall we read our plot yeah let's jump in okay i'm like really upset about this movie like i'm really this was a really tough one i feel um to pay to like keep paying attention um just so the listeners aware i did pay attention the entire time i think sometimes people get mad because I sound like I didn't. I also listeners, I paused it and rewound it hundreds of times.

Yeah. Um, it was really, it was just tough. I was staring at my TV at some points and then I would like come back to my brain and be like, ah, nothing went in.

Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. One piece of information. I think I was like 40 minutes in i was like they're afraid of loki like i was like i'm like starting to understand all right let's get into it so loki encounters the other oh it's alexis denisov I didn't realize that. He's from Angel. An envoy for an alien race known as Chitauri. In exchange for stealing the Tesseract, a blue cube with limitless power, seen previously in Captain America the First Avenger, for his mysterious master, the Other promises Loki a chimichanga army

in which he could subjugate the Earth. The Other then gives Loki a powerful scepter yeah so this was like the thing at the beginning where it's like seemed like it's another story and you're like what and then they're like and now over here um sometimes when they do that i get i get confused but i'm not i'm not an idiot i just want to say for the record like i'm not very stupid or something it's like it's like i just think this doesn't register in my mind the way other things do. Yeah. Ashley, did you get this upon first viewing?

On first watch, no. And I always feel like, I don't know, this is like more of a writerly thing, but I would rather get that information in the story. Because, yeah, you watch this little cold open and you're like, okay, what was that? And then I think the next thing is like Tony and Pepper, right? Then we're like okay what was that and then we're i think the next thing is like tony and pepper right then we're like kind of in the real world and we get it and then i'm like supposed to remember that that thing happened yeah and they did that in thor too when it's like oh it's like the girls are watching this thing happen and like they're doing

something else then they see this explosion and then it's like you're supposed to like i there was another one too where they do another thing that is like happens way later. And then you're like, Oh, it's that thing that I can Captain America. They have like that ice thing. And then at the end, it's like the ice thing.

And you're like, I didn't, I didn't remember that anymore. Like that was hours and hours ago. It was out of context to begin with. Doing that thing where you like start at the beginning of the movie. And then at some point someone would have to be like, I guess Loki went to meet the others and hooked up with the chitauri or whatever

but because those are all nonsense words just say i'm real fast later totally totally okay so nick fury and his lieutenant agent maria hill played by kobe smulders arrive at a what a name that can't be her government name i always want want to say Colby. She's Canadian. Yeah, she's Canadian. But Smulders? Like that's... And you're an actor? Like that's... I don't know.

I don't know. It's too good. It's too good. Yeah. It sounds like the name of like a really good jam. Yeah, totally. I only got Colby Smulders and I put it on toast. It was delicious.

So they arrive at a remote research facility where physicist Dr. Eric Selvig is experimenting on the Tesseract. Agent Coulson explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy as well as low levels of gamma radiation. The Tesseract suddenly activates and opens a portal allowing Loki to reach Earth. allowing Loki to reach Earth. Loki takes the Tesseract and uses his scepter to enslave Selvig and several agents using mind control, including Clint Barton, played by Jeremy Renner, a.k.a. Hawkeye, to aid him in his getaway. This wasn't smooth at all. This for me, I was like, wait, what?

And I was like, oh, yeah, Loki can like enchant people or whatever. And I was like, oh, OK. So, OK, in response to the attack, reactivates the avengers initiative and shield moves to their new base of operations the helicarrier first colson contract contracts contracts contacts agent natasha romanoff who is tied to a chair in the middle of an interrogation when colson tells her that Agent Barton has been compromised. Natasha breaks loose of her bondage and easily defeats her captors. Did you think when they changed their eyes

that it was contact so that it was CGI? CGI. CGI. Thank you. Lots and lots and lots of CGI in this movie. I wasn't sure, but then I was curious. My favorite thing in this movie is like, there are good really good thing in this movie is like, there are good, really good scenes in this movie.

And a really good scene to me is when you realize that Natasha is not captured. She's like, she's interrogating them. Like, I love that aspect of Natasha. And they'll always have like one sick moment like that. And then they'll be like, and now she's in love. And that's what her thing is. Right. And right and you're like well what happened to the badass lady who was tied to the chair i like her a lot yeah it was great when she was like headbutting them and all that kind of stuff and i didn't understand the part where she got the phone call and then she was speaking english

as if those guys didn't speak english, but then one of them did. And I was like, so you don't care if they hear you. Cause she knew that she was going to beat them up. So she didn't, that was her plot. She was like, whatever.

Okay. I got it. I got it. Love it. That was her disrespecting them to their face. Okay. Okay. Even better.

Okay. So Natasha is then sent to India to recruit Dr. Bruce Banner, who is laying low and working as a physician. She explains that S.H.I.E.L.D. is not interested in recruiting the Hulk. They want Dr. Banner to use his expertise in gamma radiation to help locate the Tesseract. Meanwhile, Coulson visits Tony Stark, who's busy building Stark Tower in Manhattan, and Fury recruits Steve Rogers, who is busy boxing. Equally important to all of us. That's so funny. Busy boxing.

He's like, busy boxing, thinking about that girl who's dead or real old right now. Oh, my God, yeah. So funny to me. Also, this interaction went on for too long, because Bruce Banner, I get it. You are tortured. Tortured by that green thing inside you. And he's like, I couldn't. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. And I was like, then don't do it. You are tortured. Tortured by that green thing inside you. And he's like, I couldn't. I don't want to. I don't want to. And I was like, then don't do it.

You know? The scene where Natasha is talking to Bruce Banner in the, like, in India and that, like, place where he found her or whatever. I was like, this, it felt like it was, like, the

dialogue was so, like, out of an acting class or whatever. I was like, this, it felt like it was, like the dialogue was so, like out of an acting class or something. Yes. It was like, like he's like, I don't know, I just don't want to. You know,

I don't know, there was something about how they were doing it. And I also had this feeling of like, I think they're both fantastic actors, so this is really not about their acting ability, but it felt like they just got the sides. Like it was like, there was kind of this like feeling of like,

neither of them really knew what was going on. don't know no i agree a lot of the dialogue in this movie i think was like just written on the fly like sometimes random he's like just say this instead just say this we gotta shoot it okay while mind controlled hawkeye steals the idrum needed to stabilize the Tesseract's power. Loki causes a distraction in... I get all the hard words. You do, I had a lot of easy words. Stuttgart, Germany, leading to the confrontation with Captain America, Iron Man, and Black Widow that ends with Loki's surrender. However, while Loki is being escorted to S.H.I.E.L.D., Thor arrives and frees him, hoping to convince him to abandon his plan and return to Asgard.

After a dramatic confrontation with Tony and Steve, Tony and Steve, everyone's names are so normal. Thor agrees to take Loki to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s flying aircraft carrier, the Helicarrier. There, Loki is imprisoned while Banner and Stark continue their attempt to locate the Tesseract and research Loki's scepter. locate the tesseract and research loki's scepter he i so when they get to the aircraft captain america gives samuel jackson money and i was like does he think he's the bellhop of the spaceship i is that the joke i don't know that he thinks i don't remember this oh i missed that yeah he was like i bet you can't tell me something I don't know or something like that. I bet I've seen a lot. There's nothing I haven't seen.

And then it's a helicarrier. But also they're really counting on us like understanding military technology. Like if you told me that the United States has that, I'd be like, okay. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. that the United States has that I'd be like okay yeah 100% yeah it's hard to know what's like feels supernatural versus what's just regular yeah um but I one thing I'm enjoying Nicole I will say is that as we're you know amassing this like knowledge about it I'm like oh I know that um actually Captain America when he made the comment that he's familiar with this, it's because he was in the military.

And I'm kind of starting to get excited that I know things. I know, you're totally right. I can't wait for that to happen to me where I'm like, oh, this, I know. I don't know. Fury interrogates Loki and the newly formed group tries to figure out what to do next to prevent his attack. They determine that he's trying to use the Tesseract to open another portal so that the chimichurri army can invade Earth. In the lab, Tony challenges Bruce's feelings about the Hulk and reveals to him and Steve that he is hacking the helicarrier to find out what Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. are hiding from them. Meanwhile, Thor catches up with Agent Coulson and Natasha

interrogates Loki. While appearing to reveal personal information about her past with Clint, she accurately determines that Loki's immediate plan is to provoke Banner so that he can become the Hulk and destroy the Avengers from within. I thought that was pretty cool. Mm-hmm. And

that's about it. I think that's like the only real part of this movie that I was like oh that was fun okay so transforming into the hulk is sick it's like when he's funny like there was like part of it where i was like it was almost hot for like two seconds and then it's like disgusting like it like crosses this weird line i like it when he comes back too and he's like naked and like a small white naked man. I love him. I also love, do you ever

you know like as an actor see an actor do something and you're like oh I could never. Like I'm not capable. And like the fact that he plays that role so straight and that he's not embarrassed to have to turn into the Hulk I'm like you deserve every penny. I would just be embarrassed.

No, that's so part of it. Where he's committing to going like, I would be laughing. It's just too goofy. And it's also pretty real. I bought that he was changing into the Hulk because there were some CGI moments not to get on ScarJo,

but when she leapt on one of those flying things I was like that's not real you're not committed and she moved along and I was like no with the green screen you have to go super hard like for it to feel good

so Tony Bruce and Steve yeah all just normal names confront fury. About the revelation that S.H.I.E.L.D. plans to harness a test track to develop weapons as a deterrent against hostile extraterrestrials. The group is joined by Thor and Natasha and argues further manipulated by the presence of Loki, mind-controlling Scepter. used further manipulated by the presence of Loki mind controlling scepter um while this is happening the brainwashed Barton accompanied by various agents also working for Loki attack the helicarrier crippling one of its engines and scattering them little Avengers despite Natasha's attempts to calm him down the injured Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk and chases her throughout the helicarrier Thor comes to Natasha's rescue and brawls with the Hulk, but is outclassed in strength.

A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in a jet attempts to lure the Hulk away from Thor. The jet explodes and the Hulk is sent careening toward the ground. I just don't understand why the Hulk... Is Hulk too big? Hulk can't think? How come Hulk is like, I'm mad at my friends? Yeah. That's the thing that happens when you get too strong nicole that's why you can't work out too much get too strong get too strong you don't know who your friends are you're trying to find them um i mean kind of with steroids you like kind of yeah you lose your personality and you become angry.

Oh my god, is the Hulk a metaphor for steroid use? He's like a cautionary tale. Yeah, well kind of like how the X-Men is about others and segregating other people. Yeah, I would

believe that. Well, who would we ask? Who wrote the Hulk? Stan Lee. Steve Stan, yes. Who was in the end of the movie, right? I think I saw him there. Yes, he was playing chess and he turned around.

He was like, there's no superheroes in New York. He's like, I created the whole world. Okay, meanwhile, Steve and Tony repair the damage engine and natasha confronts hawkeye after an intense fight she breaks loki's control by delivering a concussive blow to his head thor attempts to prevent loki from escaping but gets tricked by an illusion of loki entrapped in loki cell colson tries to save thor but loki stabs him through the chest with his scepter and then jettisons Thor from the helicarrier. He lands in a field, Loki escapes, and Coulson dies from his injuries. Well, Fury attempts to use Coulson's death to motivate the Avengers into cooperating as a team, avenging his death. While bickering, Tony and Steve realize that Loki plans to open

the portal above Stark Tower at the center of New York City in an attempt to satisfy his ego. Cap, Nat, and Hawkeye suit up and take a Quinjet to New York City, with Tony flying solo ahead. Meanwhile... Wait, we have to pause to talk about the entire world. Everyone you've ever met, all your friends and family are under attack from an alien invasion. But you will be inspired to fight because of this guy you met early today who seems nice yeah that is funny because it's like your whole life your family your each person in the Avengers, they're existing in their own world, separate of each other.

But some of them are all in America. Aren't they all all in America? Wasn't Bruce Banner just, like, on vacation in India? But Thor was, like, from another planet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. He's a god. Yeah. And most planet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. He's a god. Yeah.

And most of them are actually from New York. Not even just America. Most of the heroes are from New York. So they pass each other on the street like regularly. In Gristini's. Yeah. They reach for the same Oreos. I haven't thought about Gristini's in so long.

Wait, where does Spider-Man live? Doesn't he live in... Queens. Queens? It's just so funny. It's just like Queens. He lives in Queens. That is wild.

I thought it was like Metropolis. Who lives in Metropolis? They each are from like a different like borough. Yeah. Steve is from Brooklyn. Oh. He's back from from the original gentrifier yeah back when white people were from brooklyn and then they weren't so now they are again um well i guess black panther he's from africa yeah kind of wild is he he's not the only oh yes storm's also from africa

are all the black people on marvel from africa storm's also from africa are all the black people on marvel from africa like straight up from africa nick fury oh yeah where he where's he from he feels american yeah also did he have an accident because he's got scratch marks on his eye i don't know the origin of the eye you will find out oh we find out does he he has his own standalone movie uh no but you do find out in another movie oh i did it would be annoying to wear an eye patch every time you film though because i think i would start to feel nauseous yeah yeah you know what i mean like your eye being like i guess if like you have a lazy eye you have to wear a patch to correct it but that feels annoying but then it seems like wearing it for 12 hours out of the day is probably not good for you.

Like if you don't have an issue. Yeah. If you don't have a medical reason to be wearing it. Wait. So we found out Nick Fury is from Alabama. It's funny to me that they're all from regular places. But I understand. It's like I'm still processing that they're just people with superpowers.

Yeah. So you know that you could also be a hero. Whoa. Oh, my God. I'm from Illinois. I'm from New Jersey and I could be a hero. Oh, my God. I love that, actually.

We have to think about what our superpowers would be. Anyway. Okay. Meanwhile, Bruce Banner wakes up in rubble and shares an introspective moment with a security guard played by harry dean stanton harry dean stanton what a fun dude i liked him he's like you fell right down you were big and green and stuff you an alien i love he had no fears no qualms about it he was just like this is my life and i appreciate it uh okay so tony arrives first and confronts loki at stark tower the two engage in a brief He was just like, this is my life and I appreciate it.

Okay, so Tony arrives first and confronts Loki at Stark Tower. The two engage in a brief battle of wits. Loki unsuccessfully tries to mind control Tony and instead throws him through a window. Tony manages to activate his Mark, uh-oh, V-I-I armor. Maybe seven? Is it seven? Yes. Mark seven. Is it seven? Yes. Mark's seven armor, which attaches to his body before you can hit the ground.

Selvig's device inflates, opening a portal above New York, which through the Chimichurri's fleet emerges, beginning Loki's invasion. Okay, I sort of like this part. I like the part where Tony had to when he was thrown out the window and for a second I was like, how's this gonna work? He doesn't have the suit and then he was like, he said something like activate or something like that before he flew out the window and then the suit

was like, here I come and then it saved him which I thought was cool and then this part where all of the like creepy alien things that Loki has, those were sick. And I thought that was kind of fun how they were flying around kind of scary. On like ski-dos. Yeah.

Yeah. That was, you know, that's when I started to like perk up a little bit. I was like, what's happening? And then I. Same. And I'm not much for like the fight. Like sometimes I'm just like, oh man, too many fights. But this movie, I was like less talking, more fighting.

Yeah. Yeah. I would agree with that. So Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America and Thor join Iron Man to destroy the Chitauri army. They split up to go after Loki, assist evacuation efforts and boss around cops. Eventually, Bruce Banner arrives on a motorbike. The team regroups and banner willingly transforms into the Hulk.

Captain America devises a plan and gives the assembled Avengers assignments. They continue to fight off the Chitauri invasion. The Avengers tag team, Loki and chase him back to Stark tower where the Hulk smashes him to a pulp. I did enjoy that. But then at the end of it, he like was like, Ooh,

I was like, okay. Selvig now free of Loki's control reveals that Loki's scepter can close the portal. And then Natasha goes to do so. However, the World Security Council launches a nuclear missile at Manhattan to end the invasion.

Iron Man intercepts the missile and takes it through the portal towards the Chitauri fleet before running out of power and plummeting back to Earth as Natasha closes the portal. The Hulk catches Stark as he falls, while the Chitauri fleet is disabled on Earth

by the nuclear explosion in space. Tony, in shock, simply asks the others if they've ever tried shawarma. I was like, okay, I get it. He's like, well, then we get the shawarma. I was like, okay. But also, I was like, okay, Mr. Hulk, how dramatic. You couldn't just stand there and catch your friend?

You crawled up a building. You just going from building to building to catch him. That was a lot, my friend. You could have just caught him. Okay. So the world is jazzed by the idea of a superhero team as seen in a montage of news footage. jazzed by the idea of a superhero team as seen in a montage of news footage in central park the avengers and a shield uh agents watches thor escorts loki and the tesseract to asgard via the seemingly repaired bifrost they then go their separate ways see this was interesting because

they were were they in their costumes just like walking through the i don't remember yeah like they all just like hopped in their cars and stuff and they were just like driving away I was like this is a strange this is strange they got into like a Honda Civic and they were like we're done I mean you're not far off it wasn't accurate and accurate is the same thing as a Honda was it that's so funny

in a mid credit scene the other meets with his master Thanos Josh Brolin and informs him of Loki's failure he shares his concerns over the strength of Earth's heroes, commenting that attempting to re-challenge them would be deadly. Thanos smiles sadistically. This is exhausting!

I didn't know there was a mid-credit! I just skipped to the end! I don't think I saw this one. I saw, okay, then in a post-credit scene, the Avengers gather post-battle in an empty shawarma place and eat in silence. I saw that. So I have, okay, then in a post-credits scene, the Avengers gather post-battle in an empty shawarma place and eat in silence. I saw that. So I have to watch all of the credits?

Because like the part that was happening before that was like the, all of the people in New York talking about what happened on the news. And then one person's like, they're going to have to pay for this. They damaged the city while they were protecting it or whatever. And people were mad. And then, yeah, it just kind of like like i don't understand this whole putting scenes in the credits thing as part of the like franchise like why is that a thing that they do because they're like you sat for two and a half hours we want you to suffer more yeah they're like we want you to

keep sitting keep sitting keep watching look at all those names everybody who worked on this we gotta look at it and we're gonna give you a little scene to reward you you gotta keep looking at more names we'll give you another scene i know we've had to watch so many post credits things that like this is the most i've ever watched to the point where the credits get silent they like run out of music we don't have any more music it's just yeah more music you're fine if you're still here you can handle the silence it's like okay i don't know boy oh boy well good grief i understand it a little better i guess but i i guess i understood it was that loki wanted to get them and then they didn't want that to happen so they got him yeah but i'm just

like why is loki and the other why are they friends i don't know that's a good question like where did the other come from why are they friends i don't know like loki is doing this because he found out he's his dad was not his dad that happens you know sometimes people don't tell you about an adoption until late in life don't mean you gotta go destroy other worlds but i wish that like those things were like if you just watch this movie it's just like loki wants to take over the world i wish there was a little bit of like loki he's sad i think that's nice because it really acting out yeah it makes it all more relatable and and like a little more interesting like that he has this

family issue that is why he's yeah this i feel like there was a king yeah there was like two lines maybe where he was like i was king and then he was like your father and like that was it and you're like okay i guess you're like still kind of like mad about that but like yeah i do think it could have been incorporated a little bit more yeah i hate his hairstyle in this yeah it's not good it's that was a big problem for me um not as important as the emotional problems but i was wishing that it would be different well and then so his hair gets better but then they set set the whole Loki show right after this movie. So he has to go back to the old hair. Oh, wow.

I just love picturing like the costumer, the hair lady who's like, so you want me to do this greasy thing? So we just we have to go back to that one, even though we moved on. OK. Also, things I love about Marvel in. Oh, my gosh. What's the name of the show? Hawkeye. Hawkeye.

They go back to this scene during the Chitauri invasion. And they're like, there was a little girl who was there and she's the star of this show. And I just love it so much as a writer that you could be like, there was a gum wrapper on the floor. And on that, I will be basing my movie on the story. It's so loose. It's amazing. That is so funny. I didn't even know Hawkeye.

So do all of these people have their own movies and TV shows? Yeah. Damn. I didn't really. I don't know if I realized Hawkeye was a Marvel thing. I did. I don't really understand Hawkeye I know he's got the arrows He's like Cupid or whatever

So do his arrows run out Or do they just keep refilling? They keep refilling And some of them do special tricks Oh, okay But how does he know which ones are which? He just knows They're it's intuitive they're labels oh they're labels you do find out in the hawk and see this is why you need a tv series to answer these more detailed questions you can't get into in a movie you do find out that the arrows are

labeled wow that's really funny that's so funny it would be funny during like a battle he like swings his little backpack around. He's like, ah, shit. I don't know. This one got mislabeled. He's like, Harley Q, straight line. His contact falls out. He's like, guys, I can't read these labels.

I'm flying blind here. Okay, we have to take a second break. And, okay, we're back. So this was written by Joss Whedon and directed by Joss Whedon. Joss could have had some more help, I think, to really navigate this to make it a little bit more streamlined. Also, the editing, we could have edited this down a little bit. Seems like we got a director's cut and not a theatrical cut. I had issues.

Yeah. So the Avengers received an Academy Award nomination for Best Visual Effects and won three People's Choice Awards and four Saturn Awards. I think this section is always like key for us when watching these movies because they were made so long ago that we're like, oh, the visual effects are horrible. But at the time, we were like, holy shit, that should get an Oscar. It's literally the best. In 2017, it was included in Empire Magazine's poll of the 100 greatest movies of all time. Which is...

I don't think right. I think Empire maybe... maybe got confused about what movies were. 100 movies is not that many. That's a very few movies. And this is on a hundred no no empire no so reception avengers cleaned up at the box office it grows 1.5 billion worldwide making it the third highest

grossing movie of all time wow the highest grossing film of 2012 the highest grossing comic book adaptation by his grossing superhero film and the highest grossing comic book adaptation, the highest grossing superhero film, and the highest grossing film ever released by Disney at the time of its release. Wow. What was, oh, I guess Avatar. And we're still waiting on one through seven. Where's Avatar, James? Yeah. Audiences loved the movie.

Earning it an A plus score on the CinemaScore poll. And as we've seen with other Marvel movies, reviews were mixed but rolling stones peter travis said it epitomized the idea of a blockbuster he wrote i saw in my head when i imagined a movie that brought together the idols of the marvel world and one shiny stupendous exciting package it's transformers with a brain wow dis to transformers and heart and a working sense of humor peter doesn't know a humorist he's there was barely any laughs in this movie i agree the

other ones were way funnier well it's time for our important segment is chris in this in this new segment we have a yes or no conversation about if a chris chris hemsworth chris evans chris pratt chris pine is in this film now was it chris in this film yeah yeah we had a lot of chris's i think oh yeah wait we had chris hemsworth chris hemsworth chris evans that's it that's it i guess there were two now should any other chris christine kristin have been in this film ashley any anybody with that sort of name that you would like to see um oh gosh what is the actress's name from how i met your mother kristin chrissy millilani oh christina Oh, yes. Yeah, she would be great in this.

Yeah. I would like to see Kristen Wiig as like her character from Barb and Star, the evil one. And she's like Loki's backup. And she's like... If Kristen Wiig played Loki... That would be so fucking good.

I think so. Yeah. I think Christina Aguilera should have been in this and i say she'd be like ah okay second new segment wait don't do our trivia oh yeah okay okay so here's some trivia from the movie robert downey jr kept food hidden all over the lab set, and apparently nobody could find where it was, so they just let him continue doing it. In the movie, that's his actual food he's offering,

and when he was eating, it wasn't scripted. He was just hungry. That's literally me doing a podcast. I'm here for it. Yeah, it's a long day. It seems like they're probably shooting long days. I love that he's just eating as wants him. Robert Downey Jr. said,

fuck continuity, have fun editing me. He just went to Crafty and was like, I'll eat whatever I want. It would be funny if he had an empanada in one scene and was just like, ooh, got the hot food. Okay. Mark Ruffalo himself portrayed Hulk

through a virtual camera motion capture, which allowed him to actually portray the Hulk. Previous live action versions had Bruce Banner and the Hulk be played by separate people or had Hulk rendered into the film in computer generated imagery. So he went above and beyond. Wow, that's intense. So he's the one jumping around? Pretty funny. It is funnier to picture him doing it. Just be like,

Well, we were saying it's better, like, his transformation is better than others, I guess, because he's doing it. That's true. In 2013, a user on the fan fiction website Archive of Our Own collected stats to determine which romantic pairings and fandoms were the most popular on the site.

Stoney, the name for the romantic pairing of Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, cracked the top 10 at number eight while the pairings Clint Barton and Phil Coulson, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff, Loki and Thor, Pepper Potts and Tony Stark, Loki and Tony Stark, and Bruce Banner and Tony Stark are all in the top 50. I don't see any of those pairings. So, like, some people have Loki and Thor hooking up. Yeah, the brothers. I guess they're not blood. Well, technically, yeah.

I, yeah, for me, a lot of those don't work. I like the Pepper Potts-Tony Stark dynamic, and I liked how, like, when the movie started, and we saw Gwyneth Paltrow in, like, a white button- button down and jean shorts and we're like, she just lives here now. It's casual. It's also the funny thing to me about Marvel movies is the movie is so long. But we don't really have time to explain to you where Tony and Pepper's relationship is now. You'll have to infer it from her clothing.

I know. She's barefoot. So, you know, they're i know she's barefoot so you know they're fucking because she's barefoot but but we don't have time to dedicate a single line and it's two and a half hours to this relationship there was one hint where he he was like in my my private elevator and she goes our private elevator okay so you ride in it too. I was like, okay, all right. The post-credits shawarma scene was a reshoot. Chris Evans had grown a full beard for Snowpiercer and could not shave.

Interesting. What? Instead of digitally removing it, he wore a prosthetic chin and just sat with his face in his hand? I'm sorry, That is crazy. Was he like going back to shoot the very next day? Really?

Like, and also couldn't he have a fake beard in the other thing? A fake beard seems easier than a prosthetic chin and covering it with your hand. I have to go back and watch this. Oh, no. Here's a great trivia. The film's working title was group hug. Boy. Oh boy.

They probably thought they were real funny when they came up with that. Truly the cast all got along and would often go out together after filming wrapped for the day. Chris Evans once said a text message to Clark Gregg, simply saying assemble. And Greg said, that's the best text message to Clark Gregg simply saying, assemble. And Gregg said, that's the best text message you ever got? That fucking rocks.

Dude. That is really adorable. It's so funny. Assemble. I'm an Avenger now. I love it. I love it. I love it. I do love that they hung out. I think that is really sweet! I love it. I love it. I love it.

I do love that they hung out. I think that is really sweet. I like it too. It didn't come through on screen. That's hilarious. Okay, here's our segment called Five Stark Industries, where we read five-star reviews. This one comes from Bree Spencer. So glad it's back.

Five stars for being back to listening to Nicole four out of five weekdays. If there was a ranking of voices that get registered in my brain throughout my whole life, you might rank higher than my own parents. Oh, no. Lauren, I really missed you last season. No offense to Gabrus. You two bounce off each other so well. The journey y'all took through the Iron Man episode was really entertaining to hear. Ups, downs, pure confusion. Oh, thanks, Brie. That is nice. So, okay, this season, in addition to Apple Reviews, we're also going to be reading reviews from Letterboxd. And then we're going to give each film a one-sentence review and a star rating.

So if you don't know what Letterboxd is, it's a social platform where people can write reviews of the films. You can follow the show on Letterboxd at Newcomers. Here's an example of a review. This is Emma. Emma said, I remember watching this opening weekend and when Clark Gregg got stabbed, people fucking screamed.

They lost their minds. I miss that energy. Three stars. That does seem... Yeah, three stars. That does seem exciting, exciting though to see it in theater and have people going crazy over it yeah here's one from a four-star review from lily i am very impulsive and watching this video really made me want to cut my hair short like natasha so i

watched a youtube video on cutting your hair short yourself now i fucking look like greasy ass loki it's okay i still love this movie though okay this, this is a great... I'm sorry, the sentence, this movie made me want to cut, I thought it was going to go in a different direction and my heart stopped. I was like, Lily! We're like, ha ha ha, thanks for coming on our podcast. Here's some trauma

at the end. No, not Lily. Can we find her? Can we help? We need to help. This was in 2018. I do love that she just cut her hair watching this. That's really amazing. And that makes me, like, letterboxed more that the review is, like, it made me want to cut my hair and now I look ugly. Bye.

And she gave it four stars. Okay, so my one sentence review of this movie is, i'm mad i had my eyes open to watch it okay ashley do you want to give a one sentence review mine is i'm glad the avengers assembled i wish we spent more time on their feelings. Aww. And then I'm gonna say long movie simple point. Okay, my star rating is negative two. Wow.

I really, when I say hate it, I really had trouble. Yeah. Fair. I struggled. Ashley?

I'm gonna say three. I struggled. Ashley? I'm going to say three. I didn't hate it, but the other Avengers movies are so much better. This one has to, you got to start the bar low because it gets better. Okay. I'm going to give it a two. I'm trying to keep it in line with how I'm feeling about the other ones we've done so far. And I think I liked some of those better. Maybe I'll give it a one. I want there to keep it in line with how I'm feeling about the other ones we've done so far and I think I like some of those better maybe I'll give it a 1

I want there to be room to grow I would watch Thor again before I ever watched this and I hated Thor that's tough, I really hated Thor too Thor was bad yeah, I'd rather watch this maybe I don't know what I mean well well i guess i was just really upset that thor came to earth and didn't fucking even text natalie portman i'm just like if natalie portman

can't get a fucking text back like yeah i think thor had more of a plot it felt like like there was more to like hold on to well anyways more feelings. More feelings. That's true. I'm really excited for you guys to get to the later stuff. Like, can I come back when you do WandaVision? Oh my God, that would be really fun. It only gets better. And they're really good actually at like retroactively fixing problems. Yeah. Okay.

Everyone loved WandaVision. I feel like it was like the talk of the town for. It really was. Yeah. It's really good. Well, okay. Please go leave us a review on Apple podcasts because we'll pick one to

read on the next episode. It should be five stars. We won't be reading anything less than that. And also please rate the podcast on Spotify. Ashley, do you have anything you want to plug oh um a black lady sketch show is coming back uh april 8th hbo hbo max i love it it's so good it's kind of like the assembler the avengers there's four of us we've assembled to make some comedy for you i love it ashley you're fucking killing've assembled to make some comedy for you. I love it. Ashley, you're fucking killing it.

And I'm so happy for you. I know. You're like everywhere. It's amazing. Yeah. You were competing against yourself at the Emmy. I know. That was crazy.

I was like, this is iconic fucking behavior. Like you're fucking crushing it. And I'm just so happy and elated for you. I love it's all about having a positive outlook because it's either that or it's i lost two emmys on the same day well we'll be back next week with captain america the winter soldier we're skipping you guys are gonna love it there's at the very least two hot guys in it. Oh, good. Okay. That does excite me. And we're skipping

Thor, The Dark World, and Iron Man 3. Do you think that's a good choice, Ashley? Yeah. You're not... Yeah, those are not great movies. Iron Man 3 does have some, like, good jokes. Okay. Well, I think we're okay on that. Well, we don't have time for that.

Yeah. We gotta hop on over to the Winter Soldier. Well, I think we're okay on that. Well, we don't have time for that. Yeah. We gotta hop on over to the Winter Soldier. Alright, we'll see you then. Why is it winter? I don't want to watch any... Winter Soldier is my favorite. Oh! Oh, it's your favorite. Okay. Of the movies, yeah. This is gonna be a high bar

if you say it's your favorite and you've seen them all. Okay, well, that actually gives me hope because we haven't really had anyone say that any of these were their favorite yet. Yeah, and hopefully this one will be under two hours, but I assume it won't be. I don't think our podcast allows us

to watch anything that's under two hours. Yeah, we're simply not allowed. All right, well, I don't want to end it because that means I have to go watch a movie. If I stay here, I don't have to watch anything. All right, bye. Bye, everyone. Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.