Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Star Wars Ep. III - Revenge of the Sith (w/ Andy Daly)

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

Comedian and Star Wars fan Andy Daly (Veep, Big Mouth, Review) joins us to break down the final film of the prequel series: Revenge of the Sith. Andy shares his experience growing up as an obsessed fan, how George Lucas would segregate Star Wars superfans, and the logistical problems with the prequel's technology.Plus, Lauren's starting to love the Jedi way, Nicole cracks the Skywalker family lineage, and they both offer their punched up version of the prequels.Order the complete Review series on DVD here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084Z4JQF4/Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover on a future episode.Sources for this episode:Revenge of the Sith IMDBRevenge of the Sith WookieepediaRevenge of the Sith Movie MistakesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force. Lord Vader. Yes, Master. Rise. I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. We're watching Star Wars for the first time. Yes. We're deep in this stuff.

Yes. Oh my God. We are at the sixth movie, but the third movie of the timeline in this franchise, Revenge of the Sith. Do you think that it's the Sith movie? Cool. Our guest is very upset already that he agreed to do this.

We have Andy Daly here. You've seen him on Veep, Modern Family. He has an amazing show called Andy Daly's Review, which you can now get all on DVD, I believe. It's coming out on DVD on February 25th, but this is already later than that. So yes, get it now. Get your DVDs. He's also on a million cartoons,

Big City Greens, Bob's Burgers, Big Mouth, lots of bigs. Yeah, only the big shows. Put me on the big shows. Well, you've had a bit of a journey with Revenge of the Sith. I have, yes. Well, I've had a bit of a journey with Revenge of the Sith. I have, yes. Well, I was a tremendous Star Wars fan, fan of the originals in the 70s and 80s as a child, like beyond the beyonds, like absurdly so. I saw the first one 21 times in the theater.

21 times? 21 times, yes. I don't even know. There's 52 weeks, So you spent six months. I guess so. Essentially seeing this movie. Well, in those days, a movie, I feel like it was in the theaters for like a year. And every birthday party for everybody I knew was like, you know, we're coming over.

We're piling 11 kids in the station wagon unsafely. And it's 1977. And then we're going to see Star Wars at the Paramus Multiplex, and then we'll come home and have pizza. Paramus, New Jersey? Yeah. I know that phrase. You know Jersey?

I'm from Middletown. Oh, sure. You know them. I know Paramus. Maybe Gabrus has mentioned. Where the four meets the 17? The Paramus Multiplex? Yeah, probably.

Does that make sense? It feels really familiar. He'd know Paramus. Staten Island? Yeah. Long Island? Long Island. That's from an island.

He's got it tattooed on his arm. Right. So he doesn't forget which one. But it's interesting that movies stayed. It makes total sense that they were staying in the theater longer. I mean, things just come and go here so fast. You're like, did that even get to be in the theater? Yeah, because this was even pre-VCR.

Like there was once the movie left the theater, it might get edited for television. But other than that, you just don't get to see it again. You weren't going to see it again. Right? Oh, that's so wild. What if you, and this is,

I'm going to, I'm not acting like you're older than I am. I don't understand life. Look, I'm celebrating my age. I can't wait for this question. Well, my question is,

so no one owned a movie before? No, you didn't own movies. You didn't own movies. But could you buy the film owned a movie before? No, you didn't own movies. You didn't own movies. But could you buy the film of a movie? I recall one birthday party of mine, my dad did get out of the library a film version, a can of film of The Rescuers. And we had a projector and we watched that. So I think, but it was very unusual.

That sounds really fun. Yes. And opulent. Yeah. was very unusual. That sounds really fun. Yes. And opulent. Yeah. We rented the rescuers, children. From the library. We spared every expense. Oh my God.

Well, Revenge of the Sith came out in 2005. Now, did you see this 21 times? No, I believe I saw it once. But just to put this in a little bit of context, so the first three movies I loved, and then you remember that they all came out again, the special editions, right?

We don't know. You don't know about that? No, we have no idea. Every piece of information about these movies is new. Wow. Okay. Well, let me tell you, just to put in context, Revenge of the Sith. Okay.

So the first movie took over my life and so did the second one and the third one to a lesser degree. I had all the figures. I had all the trading cards. I cared deeply about Star Wars. I played it on the way to school when it was snowy. I was on the planet Hoth. You get the idea. Anyway. Cute. So

then, and we were told at that time that those three movies were the middle three of a nine part series that George Lucas had in mind. Like that was kind of known in the 70s. Oh, wow. And also it was – I don't think we had that fact given to us. Yeah.

That was like a thing that was out there. And another thing that was out there but in the kind of – like the status of a rumor was that Darth Vader became Darth Vader because as a pupil of Obi-Wan's, they had a lightsaber fight near a lava river that he ended up in and got like his limbs burned off. And so now he's encased in this Darth Vader outfit. It was just like a thing that somebody had heard and somebody said and somebody like was just out there. Yeah. But I don't know what official source there was. But then, so in the 90s, George Lucas, there's these rumblings that he is going to start cranking out some of the remaining six movies. That must have been very exciting.

It was very exciting. And that to warm up to do it, he was releasing special edition versions of the original three with like kind of new special effects and deleted scenes and stuff like that. And so those came out and I went to see each one of those at the Ziegfeld in New York on 53rd, which is like an event movie theater. And on opening night with a packed crowd. And it was like some of the most fun I've ever had in a movie theater. Partly because you're seeing characters... Who's that guy in the first Star Wars movie?

Biggs. The character of Biggs. Please remind us who Biggs is. Star Wars originally came out in 1977. And by the way, it wasn't called A New Hope at that time. It was just called Star Wars. They only retitled it when they... Anyway, he references Biggs, his friend Biggs

who's in the Academy and whatever. But you almost don't see him at all. Like they cross paths on the way to their X-Wings for the final battle. But there were all these deleted scenes with Biggs. And so when the special edition came out, and that's what you're seeing now if you buy. Wait, do we see Biggs? I don't know. I don't remember Biggs.

I don't either. I think you must have seen Biggs. What did Biggs look like? I'm on Google Biggs. Yeah, Google Biggs. remember Biggs. I don't either. I think you must have seen Biggs. What did Biggs look like? I'm on Google Biggs. Yeah, Google Biggs. Was Biggs big? Not so big. The place went bananas for every line of dialogue of Biggs's because it was like, this guy,

this actor is getting his moment all these years later. I don't know if we've seen Biggs. I feel like I remember Biggs. Biggs is very attractive. He's cute with the mustache and all this stuff going on. I like it. I don't know if that was the version, but okay. So Biggs must have been thrilled to get his moment, too.

Oh, my God. Can you imagine that guy? Unless he was Rip. Rest in peace. Yes, possibly. But so then Phantom Menace comes out, right? Uh-huh. And, I mean, you want to like it.

Yes. And it's tough to like. Yeah. Right? Real hard to like.. Yes. And it's, it's tough to like. Yeah. Right? Real hard to like. Did you like the kid? Um, I don't think I did.

A lot of people didn't like that kid. I liked him. You did? I just like to state, I would like to state that Biggs is still alive. Oh, good. Yes.

Okay. You know, like everybody, I was very distracted by Jar Jar Binks. And that, that, you know, not everybody was distracted.

Some people thought that was the best character. I enjoy Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar Binks. Well, not everybody was distracted. Some people thought that was the best character. I enjoy Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar Binks is a great physical comedian. Jar Jar's in this one. When he came on screen, I said to John Milhiser in my room, and I went, ooh, Jar Jar, my friend. And I said, oh,

there's Jar Jar. And then Mike goes, he's not in this. And I go, I just saw him. He goes, well, let's see. And then he came back, and I went, see? Jar Jar's in this thing. Oh, I just saw him. He goes, well, let's see. And then he came back and I don't see Jar Jar's in this one. I think I know more than you now. But Jar Jar was like a place to aim your anger. But you know, and so you kind of, at least the conversations I heard revolved around how awful Jar Jar was and how like

to have those commentators at the pod race being like, Oh, that had to hurt. Like we did not like them. People were mad about stuff like that. I think they're right. You know, it was like, I think if you have all that build up, you're so excited. And then they do some goofy shit.

Like, there are silly jokes in these movies that I do. I even laughed at something out loud in this movie. I laughed at so many things. But like, that's kind of like a cheap one to have like the modern day announcers and like things like that. I'm like, well, you're just kind of throwing shit at the wall for fun. There was a story. There was an anecdote that George Lucas, either in preparation for the second prequel or the third one, gathered together a whole bunch of comedy writers. the third one, gathered together a whole bunch of comedy writers.

And they read the script and he said, guys, what do I do? Because people were so mad at the announcers in that first movie and the comedy overall generally in The Phantom Menace. Like, I want some advice. I want to hear all your points of view. And the consensus of the comedy writers was don't make jokes. It was actually like, I know you've hired us to punch up this script. There should be no jokes. Yeah.

Yeah. There shouldn't be any. I mean, the truly like, and there is a moment in this that I know got like ripped apart. Um, I don't like the part where Darth is like, Oh man.

Oh yeah. I laughed so hard. I had to pause it and then I rewound it and I watched it again. It's really funny. I kind of like watched it blankly the first time and then Mike was like, what do you think of that funny part? I go, oh yeah, there's a funny part. You think it's supposed to be funny? It's not intentionally

funny. No, no, no, but it's like the part that everyone is like, was mad about or something and I was like, I need to rewind this and then I found it again. I was like, yeah, I guess that's kind of weird. I really, I didn't have a big reaction to it. It's so funny. It's silly. His arms are still kind of chained. They're not even stretched out all the way.

He just goes, no. I know. It's weird. But the best part of it is that that is literally the only syllable pronounced by James Earl Jones in the whole movie. So he came in to just come in and record, no. No, he talks more. He does? Maybe that's a remastered thing.

Oh, maybe. He talks more after that? No, this is why I think this is an interesting, I could be wrong. Okay. But I feel like I had heard that Hayden Christensen's voice like changes and then he goes, no, as Darth Vader voice. And he's talking as himself first and the voice like comes out of it. Oh.

I think they changed it so it's all Darth Vader and like and like the voice is all james earl jones and then no oh i'd be curious to find out about that because i was when i was reading trying to find out why this was so funny people were like because he says this hayden christensen voice and then he says no that would have been very jarring to hear and i think in the remastered one it's definitely definitely Darth Vader being like, is Padma, is she dead? Is she dead? And then Palpatine's like, you killed her. And then, no. No.

No. I want to find out about that. We'll see. And then I have almost no memories of the second sequel, except that I remember the knock on that was that we're getting deep in the weeds on tax policy. Intergalactic tax policy. Intercollecting tax policy. Yes. Like it couldn't be more boring. And then as I was just reading you guys downstairs, A.O. Scott of the New York Times, a movie reviewer who I really, really love.

Like I actually think he is an artist of a film reviewer, wrote a review of Revenge of the Sith before I saw it. I will read you the important part, which I've lost. Here it is. This is by far the best film in the more recent trilogy and also the best of the four episodes Mr. Lucas has directed. That's right. And my inner 11-year-old shudders as I type this. It's better than Star Wars.

So said A.O. Scott of the New York Times. And you read a review of it before you saw it. Did that color your opinion? It completely did, I think. I was – now I was so excited to see it, and I went and saw it, and I kind of walked out of there going, I see what A.O. Scott is talking about. Yeah. It's really, really great.

about. Yeah. It's really, really great. And it was very thrilling to get to see the lava lightsaber fight that had been like schoolyard talk, like to actually see it occur, the making of Darth Vader. I was kind of like, yeah, this is a dark origin story of Darth Vader that hangs

together and tees up the original trilogy well. And I was very, so much so that I bought the novelization wow and you know that's a big deal I saw it

now I gotta read it and imagine is the novelization longer in terms of pages than the movie or shorter

oh longer yeah more in depth yes we get into the heads of the character oh my god

I actually liked this one I put that in like you know quotes but characters. Oh, my God. I actually liked this one. I put that in, like, you know, quotes. It's like I liked it. I actually thought it was pretty interesting. I was bored for good long portions because it's well over two hours. It's so long. But I thought the way that this one was, like, the best one, in my opinion,

because it tells you so much about the first one, A New Hope. I learned so much about these characters and how they got to where they are. I felt like, I'm going to fuck up all the titles. Phantom Menace. Yes. And then what's the other one? Attack of the Clones. Yeah.

Those two. We watched Attack of the Clones? Yes. Yeah. It's very forgettable. That's where all the storm troopers come. Right, right, right, right, right. And they're all Jango Fett.

That's very forgettable. That's where all the storm troopers come. Right, right, right, right, right. And they're all Jango Fett. I just, I felt like both of those were like all over the place and like really backstory I didn't want. This was the backstory I wanted. I want to know how did Darth exactly become what he looks like and how were the babies born and how is it twins and blah, blah, blah. I think this should have been the first one of the trilogy. Yes.

Or like half of it should have been the first one. Second half he turns into Darth Vader and then the third one we get to see like Luke and Leia maybe grow up or something. Right. Well because like with the first movie A New Hope we thought so much of the good shit happened in that one because we've heard about it our whole lives and it's like wait he doesn't say

I'm your father. There's not Jabba the Hutt. There's not whatever. Like all that stuff doesn't really happen. And that makes sense. If he had done it this way and like kind of pieced out some of this, it would be similar to how the first one, the first three were. Yeah, it did feel like those first two prequels were just kind of killing time until we get to this stuff, which matters. I didn't need to start with Anakin as a child. No, nobody needed to see that.

And that kid actor did not need that either, apparently. Did you clock the way that Ewan McGregor said specialty in the movie? He has a line where he goes, Sith Lords are speciality. It's probably his accent coming through.

It made me laugh so hard. I was like, nobody asked him to do that again. Oh my god, just one more time. Just one. Just one. Just listen to how we did it. Just one little reset. I love his performance as a young Alec Guinness, though. Right? It's impressive.

It is good. Pretty good. I do think, yeah, I think in this one I saw it more than in the other ones. I really felt like, oh, yeah, he is who that, he becomes that old guy. Yeah, I think everyone's, everyone except Hayden Christensen's performances were turned up. Dude, everyone hated on Hayden in this situation.

Hayden Christensen truly said every line like he was in a porn. He was just like, oh, I can't believe this. He talks like a New Yorker. He's like, no, I love you. I don't care what they say. Palpatine is good.

It is weird because I do think he's so cute I'm like just be good. I think he's going for like gritty and dark and tough kind of vibes in this movie. Someone should have been like my friend that's not you. It should have been like Johnny Depp or something.

Yeah I think that would have been fun. Or like Skeet Ulrich. Where is Skeet Ulrich? I don't know I just started watching The Craft the other night and Skeet's up. Ooh, Skeet Ulrich. Where is Skeet Ulrich? I don't know. I just started watching The Craft the other night. Oh, my God. And Skeet's up in there. And Scream, one of my favorites of all time.

One thing I think about this movie, by the way, as I was watching it this time through, is that the actors almost always, from what I understand, are just in a green screen room. Like none of their surroundings were real in the physical world, which I think probably has a disorienting effect on your performance. I think that must be really weird. You don't really know what the movie is that you're in in some basic way. No, that's so weird. I think if you do green screen, you should let watch actors watch playback. Yeah, yeah.

To be like, are you a little stilted? I mean, you are watching a green screen, but like you could change aspects of your performance if you know what you're doing. I think you don't have an environment to act with. So it's like, let me just watch myself. I think I was imagining like more real sets than there are in this one because I thought when there's a moment where Anakin is like about to go down like the big hall with all the columns, like leading up to the building. So big. I was like, that would be really powerful to be in that space. Like it's so massive.

I know. He might not have been at all. Yeah. He's probably like looking at a wall. Yeah. Every interaction that Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman had was so insane. Yes. When she is wearing a ball gown, brushing

her curled hair. It's so weird. It was a strange choice. All her outfits were kind of weird in this one. She had almost like a nightie dress on at one point. Yes. So she comes back to him, right, and tells him that she's pregnant and he's like so happy. Is he happy or

is he just like, okay? Well, yeah. That's really more what he's like but he does go i'm happier than i've ever been you know that you're he says something like that he's like she's got an ash thing right something about his yes he is like acting so hard and all of her scenes her eyebrows are like pure like slashes and she's like yes i just want to know like is this okay and like what's going on like and he's just I just want to know like is this okay and like what's going on and he's just like so dead.

Yeah and then she has a line that I really loved hold me like you held me at the lake in Naboo. I don't know why I like that line so much because I was just like what the fuck is Naboo?

Yeah. I don't remember. Is that the Hawaii place? Naboo? Oh Naboo. Oops. I believe that's where Jar Jar Binks is from. Oh. I believe that's where Jar Jar Binks is from.

I believe that's Jar Jar Planet. His beautiful water. Yeah. I watched it this time with my wife and kids, and my wife is always very good at noticing people's hair in movies and TV shows and pointing out where, like, the character would never have had the time to do that. Oh, my gosh.

We have talked about that with Natalie Portman. So she noticed that the first time Natalie Portman walked out, like what is this outfit and what is that hair? And then it just became hilarious because literally every time she's in the movie, she has a new over the top outfit and hair that is completely different. And as my wife pointed out, she's like, who's doing the hair? Yes, we don't know. And I think the answer is C-3PO. Oh no. And as my wife pointed out, she's like, who's doing the hair? We wonder the same thing.

And I think the answer is C-3PO. Oh, no. I think it's the only possible answer. But see, we got mad because it's like, yeah, she should have like people working for her. She also had like a rolly suitcase that was like, you had to pull it. It's like, that should be a robot. Like, come on. Yes, R2-D2 should be able to store your luggage.

Because she's alone. She's in hiding with literally nobody with her. She's just cordoned off, like quarantined in this apartment. Yes. And her hair is getting elaborately done. For whose benefit, by the way? You know he's not noticing. No. He's too busy just emoting. Also, R2-D2 could fly.

Yeah, there was some funny stuff happening with R2 this episode. I mean, why don't you always use these jet blasters if you have them? I feel like those are new. I feel like he just got them put in. But this is one of the logistical problems of the prequels, that the technology is better in prequel world than it is in the next four. That has bothered me. than it is in the next four.

That has bothered me. And I think the CGI in general always was jarring to me because it's like, shoot it as close to the originals and make it like feel like it's going in that order. That would be so cool. But the CGI was the best

in this one of the three. It looked really good. It was the smoothest and least annoying to me. And I felt like everything felt as real as possible. Whereas in previous ones, I was like, this looks janky. Like, it looks like they just developed this technology and, like, threw everything in.

Yeah. But I think my perception of CGI changes over the years. Like, I was just talking to somebody about Titanic. And when that first came out, like, I completely bought the breath that was animated in. But I saw it again recently and was like, no, it's cartoon breath. They have cartoon breath. I know. And that confuses me so much saw it again recently and was like, no, it's cartoon breath. They have cartoon breath. I know, and that confuses me so much though, because it's like, okay, just because we haven't seen the technology, we buy it more?

Right. But, like, it still looks not real. Like, but it takes seeing better technology to understand that it doesn't look real. Isn't that strange? It's really weird. That's odd. So, this time, like, the robot bad guy was bugging me on cartoon grounds. That's odd. So this time, like, the robot bad guy was bugging me on cartoon grounds. That weird dog

thing. It was like a dog skull and he was coughing. Yes. I sort of liked it. Why was he ill? He's like sick when he's fake. He has some organs built. Like, he has very little bit of a living organism. Okay, so he can get sick.

Yes. Nothing else but is beneficial from having that, basically. You are likely to be coughing throughout the film. He had four arms and four lightsabers, and Ewan McGregor was just like, let's do it. And I was like, okay. Yeah. Oh, boy.

I also read something about this movie that in that scene where they're having that big battle, there was a really elaborate fight scene planned out. But George Lucas was like, you know what? Let's just have Obi-Wan send that big giant thing down on top and crush all those people. And let's just not shoot the part where he fights them because it's – look at the time. Oh, my God. That's very funny.

We got to get out of here. We got to give him the location. It's going to take too long. Just jump over there. He'll just wave his hand and crush them with a thing. And then the way these old men flipped around in this movie was so funny to me. The flipping is fucking hilarious. And even Yoda flipping, I'm like, just chill. Yoda flipping made me laugh so hard.

Yoda just like, the moment I laughed was when he walked in the room and just like force, use the force, like knock over the two security people. And I was like, that's funny. And then he had his life threatened moments later and I was panicking. Why didn't everyone use the Force at all times? Okay, wait. Can we talk about the part where Mace Windu, he's fighting Palpatine? Yes.

Okay, so this is kind of an important part because this is when Palpatine basically convinces Anakin, tell me if I'm wrong. He's like, kill this Jedi. Because it's the only way to save Padme. Padme is the stuff I have to truly, Palpatine was like, I'm super evil and I'll help you. And Anakin was like, sure thing. Yeah, because he was basically halfway to the dark side. So he just took that moment and just went with it.

Even though, okay, Palpatine's fucking transformation was sick. It was disgusting. I was like, barfing everywhere.

All his teeth, the eyes, the wrinkles. And that's because Mace Windu is hitting him with the electroshock, right? Yeah,

like really hard. Like he's like, he's like hitting him back with like thehock right yeah like really hard like he's he's like hitting him back with like the lightning or whatever I think Palpatine's using the electroshock to try to get Mace Windu

and then Mace Windu's using the lightsaber to fight it oh yeah but they're not but they're not it's not enough and Palpatine's like

I'm getting weak yes and then he's like he got like dentures yes it was fucking crazy and then these wrinkles and then these nasty fucking dentures yes it was fucking crazy and then these wrinkles

and then these nasty fucking contact lenses I do think that was some of the best like like CGI or like practical effects

that looked really real it was upsetting and then you better believe Anakin cuts off both of Mace's hands that was upsetting

and then kicks him out the window I know I felt bad about that I was like you threw away Samuel L. I know, I felt bad about that. I was like, you threw away Samuel L. Jackson? Seriously. That was the wrong choice.

That was a good, exciting death though because you don't want him to die and it felt like, damn, he's really going to be bad now. Palpatine, by the way,

makes no effort to hide the extent of his evil. That's like, you know, you would think if you're trying to, yeah.

He's like, you gotta do it. Trust me, this is for your own good. It's hard to believe. Oh, he's so gross. And then he like holds court and nobody was like, ah, your face. He had no one care for a while before.

He's like, they did this. And everyone's like, oh, a little explanation. Oh my God. Also this whole time what's his face Anakin's been having nightmares about Padme dying

during a childbirth. in my brain was it Palpatine who was putting those nightmares in his head to help him turn him to the dark side?

It's honestly next level viewing. I really don't know. You're getting into subtext. Yeah. I was really getting into it. I was really enjoying myself last night during this eight hour movie.

I put it on like at four o'clock and I was done at midnight. I was like, why is this happening? I'm so tired. Also, every scene that Padme is in, she is even more pregnant. I'm like, what is the timeline of this pregnancy? I know because we famously, George Lucas likes to use real time for most things.

Like a race will take 30 minutes if it's a 30 minute race. However, her pregnancy is going faster than basically anything. And maybe it's space pregnant where she's like maybe. Or maybe he doesn't understand women's bodies and he's like, you get pregnant, you have a baby. That's what happened to me. It's twins. They're gonna just pop out.

Oh my god, when those twins were born they were like two years old. They were the biggest fucking baby. Well, and then the like robot nurse was like holding a fake baby and then brought over like, and then it turned real when like Natalie. Oh really?

Yeah, because I think like they couldn't have it floating or something. I don't know how, what the reasoning was. You know those old child labor laws? You can't have a floating baby. Yeah. It was like the baby from Ally McBeal and then they brought over

a real baby. We got the best dummy baby in the business. I had the subtitles on and the nurse was like, blue blah. That is so funny. I've always heard that

when there's an alien language in a movie like this, some kind of linguist has been hired to create the language. But maybe they kind of cut corners. Yeah. They're just like, whatever. Bloop-lop. That's what she said.

Bloop-lop. And then to justify Padme dying, the little robot goes, she's lost her will to live. And I was like, that's it? Yeah. That's it? That was fucked up. You could have just lost her will. Why don't you try to save her? Yeah. Also, they could have just been like, she died during childbirth. Well, there's that too. That's a real thing was fucked up. You could have just... You could have lost her. Why don't you try to save her?

Yeah, also they could have just been like, she died during childbirth. That's a real thing. Yeah, yeah, right. She wasn't like, I don't really care anymore. She was just like, bye-bye.

She seems tired. Let's let her die. Did they know it was going to be twins or was that a surprise in that moment? Because I think I might have missed something. I don't think they knew it was going to be twins. Yeah, I don't think anyone knew. I think it was supposed

to be like a surprise, right? But she named the girl so fast. So quickly. She goes, Luke. And then they're like, bloop, blop. And then she was like,

Leia. And then she was like, peace out. When you're expecting a child, if you haven't determined, if you don't know the gender ahead of time, you're ready with a boy

and a girl name. Great point. See? That is a great point. Thank you. You just made it make sense. See? There's one great point. Thank you. You just made it make sense. See? There's one thing they did right.

We should take a break. Okay. Okay. And now we are back. When Anakin starts to like really turn and he's on the fire planet and then what is Natalie Portman's name in this movie? Padme.

When Padme comes, I'm like girl, are you stupid? Like, you know he's up to no good. What did you expect him? I've heard these rumors. Is it true? Is it true? You killed the childrenlings? I don't know. What do they call the little kids? Younglings.

Younglings. Younglings. Having captions on is really helpful for me because I like remember things better from reading them. Yeah. So that part was like really crazy. And then she thinks she's going to get something out of him. But then what happens?

They just leave each other. So he like hits her, right? He like, oh, he chokes her. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, I forgot. Yeah. There was some domestic violence on the fire planet. So he like chokes her without touching her. Oh, right, right, right? He like, oh, he chokes her. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, I forgot. Yeah, there was some domestic violence on the fire planet.

So he like chokes her without touching her. Oh, right, right, right. And then Obi-Wan's like, what the fuck, dude? And he like lets her go and he's like, you made me do this. And it's like, no, dude, you did it. And to me, I was like, maybe that's part of why she died

because she had like her hair cut off. And then it was like, maybe. Well, I think that's why he believes Palpatine when he says you killed her. Yes. Because that did go down. Right. You're the reason it happened. Yeah.

And that lightsaber fight was very exciting. It actually was. I really enjoyed myself. I did too. And also, as far as CGI, I was like, wow, this is wild. Like, none of this could possibly have existed. And yet I'm kind of buying it. I bought the whole thing.

I agree. And it was 2005, so it's still pretty old CGI. Yeah. But did they remaster this on Disney Plus? Oh, maybe. Now, what kind of industry is doing business on a lava planet? But there were two people working in the lava river. Did you clock them?

No. Oh, there were human people? They were floating past two alien people being like, I love that. I mean, there are robots

hard at work on lava planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget, they do explain what that industry is, what's going on there. Oh, did they? There was some kind

of explanation. I didn't catch that. Yeah, but it seems like a bad idea. Yeah. Leave Lava Planet alone. This was a really good fight, though. It was very, like, the stakes were high.

I also was wondering about the stage combat, like, planning and how specific they are in terms of, like, every movement or if they kind of, like, go for it. I think it's very specific. Yeah. Because I think they choreograph so you don't get hurt. And then you rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse so you don't hurt each other. Yeah. I think it's very specific. Yeah. Because I think they choreograph so you don't get hurt. And then you rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse so you don't hurt each other. Yeah. I think. That would be hard to memorize.

Like, I go here, then I go here, then I go. Well, here's a fun thing to do, which I did. We watched that whole fight sequence, which is extraordinary. Then go straight from that into the Vader versus Obi-Wan fight sequence in the very first Star Wars movie from 1977. Which is two old men barely touching one another's swords. Oh, my God. That's awesome. It is so, like, it is the lamest thing on Earth.

Did your kids, like, have a reaction to that? Oh, yeah. That contrast in things is hilarious to me. Yeah. Had they seen the first, Have they seen them all? No. Yes, I guess they have. Well, one thing I did, I got my hands on a despecialized version of the first Star Wars movie.

Despecialized. Despecialized. It's a fan edit that somebody put together that takes out all of the special edition bull crap. Wow. And it's restored from an original print from 1977. That's my, I have a weird thing beeping. Oh. I have various weird things in my pockets that beep.

Sure. It's this little droid. It's a little R2-D2. I know. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. And rented out the silent movie theater and just watched it on the big screen as it appeared in 1977 with the original title

that's awesome yeah that was good fun oh my god that's so cool you did that yeah but it just invited all the kids I knew of

and so my kids saw it then and then we have since watched Empire Strikes Back and The Jedi at home so they've seen them

but they never saw the first two prequels and probably never will they shouldn't no yeah this one I think they can watch. This one, I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it too. I think like, this might go second for me. I think I'm like Return of the Jedi. Oh. No, I think I'm Return of the Jedi, Empire Strikes Back, Revenge of the Sith, the holiday episode. This one's my fourth favorite. Wait a minute. I'm confused. This one's my fourth favorite. Wait a minute. I'm confused. Your number one

favorite Star Wars movie so far is Return of the Jedi. There's an article. I don't know how to Google it. Somebody comes up with 50 reasons why Return of the Jedi is horrible. And they're all exactly right. I love the Ewoks.

Yes, we did like those Ewoks. It's honestly that simple for me. I was like, this is the funnest one. Yeah. It's the most Muppety one. Yeah, that's why I like it. My opinion is that the very first Star Wars movie that came out is in a class all by itself,

and it doesn't even belong on a list with any of the other ones. I think it is an art movie. I think it is so amazingly great. Don't listen to our watch-along. Yeah, well, we lose hope during a new hope. Well, of course, it's slow, and it's a very different kind of movie. Like, as soon as you get to Empire Strikes Back,

that's a blockbuster with, with like action sequence after action sequence. But the first one wasn't even trying to be anything like that. It was like. Right. I really believe it's like a story that takes its time. We have this slow sequence with R2-D2 wandering through a canyon. You know what I mean? That was a big problem for me.

I love that. Move it along. And I love how dirty it is and how like ramshackle it is and what a just a messed up world it is. And also if you think about like he just created this entire world with backstories and everything that's just – you're just seeing what is obviously the tip of a huge iceberg of ideas in that movie. huge iceberg of ideas in that movie. Well, I do. What you said about him saying that there were going to be nine makes me feel like I would have been more excited at that time about all of it than me now. Like the idea that like, oh, this thing we really everyone really was talking about it.

It's exciting. It's different. These characters are strange and like unique. And he has a big plan in mind. And it's going to take him 20 to 30 years to execute all of it. Yeah, it's taken forever. How much time is in between

Empire Strikes Back and Phantom Menace? Do we know? Oh, you mean Return of the Jedi and the Phantom Menace? Oh wait, is Return of the Jedi the sixth one? Yeah, so that would have been

like 1983 to 19, I want to say 97 or something like that. Something like that. So long time. Yeah, that's a long time. And like, we don't have that patience now. Like, Fast and the Furious is like, we'll make eight movies within 10 years.

And I'm like, God bless. I love them. It all moves so fast now. Like, this is like really requiring a lot of patience from everyone. But all the fans are so invested. But you know what I like is how much the fans also can hate everything. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, George Lucas has said that the reason he released a new Star Wars movie on Wednesdays was so that all the lunatics would go and see it on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and the normal people can go on the weekend. Wow. That is so funny. And it's so rude to his loyal fan base that's making him a multi-millionaire in those three days. I actually think it's really cool. Yes. I think it's very cool.

Also, he's like looking out for normal people who are like, oh, date night? That's what he's thinking. He's sitting next to a boy that's like, ah! Yeah, you can bring your family on Saturday because all the lunatics went to a midnight screening on Wednesday night, you know? What was that thing I

tweeted that, what's his face? Harrison Ford? He was asked if he wanted to be like a ghost. His opinions on like Ghost Jedi or something. He was like, I don't know what the fuck that is and I don't care. Which is so funny. You're cool as hell. So funny.

That is the coolest thing ever. I also just saw a clip of him, this is unrelated, on Ellen and he was like talking about his workout routine and they showed a picture of him on a bike and Ellen's like, okay, but you say you work out but you're riding this electric bike. He's like, it's not an electric bike. She's like, I have the same one. That's what that is. He's like, it's not. And they just go back and forth

saying yes and no for like a minute. And he's like, it's not, I swear. I've actually seen people with electric bikes and they go, why do you have that? That is such a funny argument. I know. Just two rich people being like, I don't know what my toys do. I know.

I think he might be my new favorite person, though, if he's just talking shit about this all the time. It's kind of great. He was like, we watched the holiday episode. Yes. I was just saying, I just digitized a VHS version of that that I found in my garage. It's my favorite one. It's good. But then he was, someone asked him on a red carpet if he would do another thing like that.

And he said, I'd kill myself. Which is so funny. I would kill myself. And so bold to say that. He doesn't give a shit. Like he's already done the movies. People love him. He's Harrison Ford. He's now acting a shit. He's already done the movies. People love him. He's Harrison Ford. He's now acting with a CGI

dog in Call of the Wild. I saw that on a bus. I am looking forward to knowing more about that. I loved that book growing up. We'll watch it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was talking about somebody was trying to cast an independent movie and there was some talk of would Harrison Ford do it? And this agent

said, Harrison Ford does not understand the concept of not being paid his full quote. So you will never see him in like an indie movie. You will never see him in some small thing looking for cred. Oh my God. Like if he gets a phone call saying, you know, nobody's getting paid for this, but it's a great script. He would go, excuse me.

That's hilarious. So funny. He doesn't care about the art. I would love to get to that point and be like, I don't understand anything below this. Why would I do it if I don't get millions of dollars? That's like Linda Evangelista famously said she doesn't get out of bed for less than $100,000.

Yeah. And it's like, oh, that's a nice luxury. It really is. Like a hand clap. Yeah. Someone would be like, you look nice today, Linda. Also, okay, when Anakin gets all burnt up,

I was really upset. Yeah. And then Obi-Wan just like leaves him and I was like, I think you should kill him to put him out of his misery. Oh, that's true.

But I get it. Like, you don't want like Jedi's don't kill Jedi's. I don't know. Well, I thought this was good because when we see Darth Vader's face in the previous film, it's so fucking gross

and weird that this, there had to be some story that connects Hayden Christensen's face to the chewed up bubble gum we saw later, and this really did it. I felt like this was like a very satisfying explanation. And then I was like, oh my god, did his

face look like chewed up bubble gum because it's infected they just put a helmet on locked it up and then he's just gonna roam around I know they just like sealed it

it's disgusting I was like that must have smelled you know how you take a bandaid off yes and you're faking like

his whole body is a bandaid his whole body is bandaid skin yes how awful so gross oh my god I love that that moment where Obi-Wan because he whatever wrinkled and weird. His whole body is band-aid skin. Yes. How awful. So gross.

Oh my God. I love that moment where Obi-Wan, because he, whatever, the way they're situated, Obi-Wan is like, don't come at me. I will destroy you.

The way we are situated, I can't help but kill you. I have the higher ground. Yes. And he's just like, fuck you. Here we go. If they could swear

in these movies, that would be more fun for me, I think. I agree. What the fuck are you doing? You're not a Sith. You're not a fucking Sith. You're a Jedi. I also really liked what he said when, okay, Obi-Wan was talking to Anakin and Anakin was like, if you're not on my side, you're against me.

And he was like, that's not the way, a Jedi doesn't think in absolutes. And I was like, oh, I like that. It's not black or white. Jedis have nuance and they care about people and they're like, hey, if you're against me, let's talk about it and figure out what's going on. Lauren? Yes.

I think I'm a Jedi. I think you are a Jedi. Also, when Anakin was talking to Padme and he was like, we could rule this universe. And she's like, what are you talking about? I was like, I don't know how you're just now seeing that this man is a lunatic. Yeah. Pregnancy brain explodes. Pregnancy brain.

She's in love. They had three weird conversations on a balcony. Okay, wait. What happens with Yoda? There's a whole thing. Oh, there's a fight in the Senate where Palpatine throws Senate saucer seats at him. And I screamed, what? You can't ruin that.

That's for the Senate. You're an institutionalist. I thought Yoda looked nice in this one. Yes. I prefer him as a puppet. And I didn't like him in the previous two prequels, but this was my favorite one. He looked the most real. Fine.

But also, Yoda didn't speak like Yoda the whole movie. He would say some things very normal and then revert back to his weird-isms. At the end, he had like 10 sentences in Yoda speak and I was like, some of these could be flipped around. Yeah, you don't want to hear too much of that because then it starts, you start asking the question,

why does he talk like that? Is that, what is the problem? Yeah, he can communicate with everyone else. And then it kind of kills some of his comebacks. Like he said,

not if anything to say about it, I have. And then like, was already like giving the force to the guy and I was like, that one you probably should. Yeah, lines like I have. And then like, was already like giving the force to the guy. And I was like, that one you probably should.

Yeah. Lives like that just make you say like, is this, do you have to do this? Yeah. What's going on? That was kind of goofy. This is something to do with his species.

I doubt it. Yeah. We, we don't know. I mean, we haven't seen other ones. We don't see any more Yodas. I think there was a thing like when they,

the first time they ever showed the Senate, which I guess would have been in the Phantom Menace. You see like a whole bunch of Greedos in a box and a whole bit. And I think there might have been a bunch of Yoda's. I got to see a lady Yoda. There is one because in my fan fiction, I mentioned it. So I had Googled if there was a female Yoda. Yeah.

Debt or something or like a yeah. I think we need another holiday special just centered around the Yodas I would love it if they were all puppets too and it's like labyrinth and just like fully what a treat

George if you're listening we know you are we need a holiday special with the Yodas please that would be a hit and baby Yodas in it and then he puts the star

on the Christmas tree aww of course he does he just climbs up the tree oh I would enjoy that oh it'd be so cute okay I also liked on the Christmas tree. Oh, of course he does. He just climbs up the tree. Oh, I would enjoy that. Oh, it'd be so cute. Okay, I also liked how they handled the babies

and how they would be raised. I thought that was really sweet. When Lawrence, was it? No, no, Jimmy Smith. Jimmy Smith, yes. I've been wanting to adopt. You know,

I was like, oh, that worked out. We'll take this one to a gorgeous planet where she'll be a member of a royal family and this one to a pile of sand. So you can be a moisture farmer. Moisture farmer.

She's like, I'll feed him all the blue milk. I wish she had said that. What was the justification for sending him to Tatooine? What was the explanation? I don't think. He just goes, go with his family, whoever says it. With his family. Oh, right.

Oh, yeah. Anakin was from Tatooine. That's his aunt and uncle. But, like, why are they split? Like, why doesn't Leia go with him? Because Jimmy Smith was like, I want a girl. We wanted a girl. He did say that.

Well, they got split up because that's how it starts in A New Hope. Yeah. And I think theoretically. I truly think it's just because that was what was said. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. But it's going to be harder for Darth Vader to find his children, which he's going to want to do. However,

giving them to Darth Vader's own aunt and uncle or whatever, you know, is not... Pretty easy peasy. Back to his home planet is not...

Right, that would be his... Wait, yeah, because it's... That would be his, like, brother or sister. Right, it's Luke's aunt and uncle,

but maybe it's Padme's family or something. No. No. No, right? Because Anakin is from Tatooine. So, yeah, I guess. It's his.

It's not a good hiding place. No. And it's also not a great hiding place for Obi-Wan. But then Obi-Wan's like, I will make sure he's taken care of. I liked that part. And that felt the most like, name the actor who plays the. Alec Guinness. Thank you.

That felt the most like him. Like I plays the thank you that felt the most like him like I felt like he was embodying that character wait when does Darth Vader learn that his kids are alive right I think he doesn't know until he senses Luke Skywalker okay in a new home I like that

yeah okay I'm curious if we know uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's last name. Are they Skywalkers? Well, it says, delivers Luke to his step-uncle and aunt, Owen and Beru Lars, on Tatooine. So why is it his step- Step-uncle? What does that mean?

Your step-uncle- Your step-parent married someone? Yeah. Your step-parent. So he has a step-mom? Oh, yeah, because Anakin's mom, when she was murdered,

was living with that dude that wasn't his dad. Oh. Thank you. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. We're kind of amazing. Yes.

I just took credit for what you did, but I feel it's crazy. No, we all did it. We all did it. That honestly is so crazy that you were able to just figure that out.

Very hard. Well, I can see how Darth Vader might not think to check there. Oh did it. That honestly is so crazy that you were able to just figure that out. Very hard. Well, I could see how Darth Vader might not think to check there. Oh, yeah. That seems removed enough. Kind of that random dude who was married to his mom. Right. Also, George Lucas makes a cameo during the opera scene. He is the blue-faced being named Baron Papanoida that you see outside of Palpatine's box.

And it marks his first and only appearance in any of the Star Wars films. Oh my God. Also, his daughter and her boyfriend provide the sounds for General Grievous' coughing. That's goofy. That's so fucking weird. Dad, I want to be an actor. Okay.

Cough over here. Cough a few times. Also, my favorite character name in this movie is Commander Cody. It sounds like he's on like step by step. Each movie has a very simple name for somebody. And I love it. There he is. Yeah, Commander Cody.

So here's a bit of trivia. Hayden Christensen wanted to wear the Darth Vader suit in the films as it had always been a dream of his. This was in the DVD commentary. Though the filmmakers hesitated as Christensen was too short. That's sad now. Very funny. Also, George Lucas purposely made Darth Vader's suit uncomfortable, heavy, and cumbersome. purposely made Darth Vader's suit uncomfortable, heavy, and cumbersome. This way, as Hayden Christensen walks around in the armor, especially after first being put into it,

his movements seem awkward. After all, Darth Vader isn't used to wearing it yet. For the record, he's six feet tall. Hayden Christensen is? Yeah. The costume must be. David Pross. Yeah.

Probably like 6'5". Yeah. If he's looking through a mouthpiece. By the way, that sounds like some BS there. Hayden Christensen was like, this costume is really uncomfortable. And Christensen was like, this costume is really uncomfortable and George Lucas was like, on purpose. I'm doing that to help your performance.

Let's see. This is the first Star Wars movie to receive a rating higher than PG. I wonder what makes it Well, the slaughter of the younglings is pretty rough. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Is there blood? There's a, yeah. Is there blood?

There's blood in this movie. I guess, like, there was, like, a head being chopped off that was pretty aggressive. Who's that good? Someone gets a lightsaber, chop off their head. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Can't think of who it is, but. Let's see. When Anakin arrives on Mustafar and is shown putting on his hood, his mechanical arm is missing.

What? It's like Dame Judy Dench's ring being on during Cats. Which is very funny. Gotta look out for it. George Lucas' three children play

cameos in the film. Jet is a young Jedi called Zet Jukasa. Oh, that was a real stretch. Amanda plays a character called Tur-Tanil

and Katie plays a blue-scanned alien called Chi-Ikwe. Oh, Chi-Equay. Both invisible when Palpatine arrives at the Senate after being saved by the Jedi. Oh, I see. That's nice that he puts... He did that

before, I think, too, in a previous one. I think his son was in something. Jet, I feel like we read a fact about him before. This photo of Zet Jukasa that we've been provided here, it looks to me like the actor is not ready. Oh my god, I want to see like the actor is not ready. Oh, my God. I want to see.

He looks. Oh, my God. That kid. It looks like a school photo. Yeah. That's his son? Oh, I love it. That's amazing.

I guess that's George Lucas' son. I want a full-size poster of that. Also, who is Governor C.O. Bibble? Governor C.O. Bibble. You know what I decided I need? I want a full-size Ewok for my house that is just like standing there. I'm going to look for one for you. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I would love it. Yeah. I wanted to buy this Ewok treehouse that was a toy that I saw, but it was like hundreds of dollars because it was like in pristine condition. I almost bought my nephew a life-size R2-D2 that can roll around your house and beep boop at you and stuff like that. But I thought, oh, I should mention it to my brother first. And he was like, no. Don't do that to me. That would be awesome for you as the uncle.

As the uncle. The hero uncle. Look what I got to annoy you. That's so – well, how tall is R2-D2? Pretty tall, right? Like maybe three feet? Pretty big. Yeah, I would say, yeah.

Yeah, that would have been. I mean, we haven't even gotten to like BB-8 and all this shit. He's someone you'd probably want around your house. He's like a little guy. Yeah, it's adorable. His name is just BB-8? Yeah. For whatever reason, I thought it was BB-8 ball.

But BB-8, I'm going to keep calling him BB-8 ball. I'm glad you thought it was BB-8 ball. BB-8 I'm really glad you thought it was BB-8 ball is the new R2-D2 isn't an 8 ball a type of amount of cocaine yes well you can definitely buy a novelty pool set that has

BB-8 as the 8 ball I'm sure oh yeah they'd be fucking it up if they didn't have that every avenue must be explored ball, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They'd be fucking it up if they didn't have that. Every avenue must be explored. We're into the merch. We're excited about merch. Yeah, we want a little Baby Yoda.

Yeah, we need that. Do you have toys and things? Yeah, I have my original Star Wars figures from the 70s. That's good. I do, but they're not in the package. They're not worth anything. Still cool. And they've lost their, you know, they have the retractable lightsabers that come out of their arms. Yeah. Things like that are missing.

But I still have them. They're great fun. Where do you keep them? I keep them in a little wooden box that my children made for me. Aw. Yeah, that was sort of them accepting that these are not toys for them to play with. That's cute. I get it.

That's really cute. And they go in a box. Where do they make wooden boxes? You know what? It was a cigar box that they took some arts and crafts class that they decorate. They put Star Wars kind of decorations on it. Yes, it's very nice. That's adorable.

They know I love Star Wars. And so my little girl got me a Yoda doll for me to sleep with. So that's another Star Wars item in my home. That's cute. And that takes up the other half of your bed and your wife's on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's huge. It's ten times the size of any Yoda.

But what I almost bought, this is another almost R2-D2 purchase. At Williams-Sonoma, they have a R2-D2 popcorn popper. It's like this size and it's like his, you screw off the top of his head, and it becomes the bowl that the popcorn goes into. I like that. This is great. It's pretty great, right? I honestly think we probably both need that. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of goes with the color scheme in my kitchen.

It would be fun. Maybe I'll get it. Okay. And you could store it, is it the size of R2-D2, or is it a little small? What's this, like two feet? Bathroom trash can. Yeah, bathroom trash can size. Yes. I hope that's your like standard

of measurement. I'm like bathroom trash can or kitchen trash can. More bathroom. Outdoor trash can height. Yeah, and I think I only said this downstairs that I still have all of my um

trading cards all my star wars and empire strikes back trading cards that's when i was a kid did you trade them when you were a kid or did you try to just like no because um well maybe i did but but the the cool thing is that on the back side of the full set of cards is like a puzzle that you put together if you have them all so it wasn't about like I've got more of these. It's like you wanted at least one of each to complete the puzzle. That's cute. And I'm missing one or two. That's a pretty good way to get you to keep buying things.

Star Wars is very good at keeping people latched on to it with like all of the merchant ship. It's kind of wild. Can I ask you your opinion on the movies we have ahead of us without spoiling anything? Yes. What's ahead of you? The late quills. Okay.

The late quills. I don't know. I have no idea. You got prequel, middle. The C sequels. This was seven, eight, one, two, what did we watch? Four, five, six.

What did we watch? We watched four, five, six, one, two, three. Now we have seven, eight, nine. Uh-huh. So seven, eight, one, two, what did we watch? Four, five, six. What did we watch? We watched four, five, six. One, two, three. Now we have seven, eight, nine. Uh-huh. So Seven, The Force Awakens made me very angry. Oh. I was angered by that movie.

Okay. And I am very much in the minority. Like people love it. Oh. Big Star Wars fans that I know are like, oh man, it was great. I'm just like, I have so many beefs with it that I won't even share with you now. Oh boy. But, and then the second'm just like, I have so many beefs with it that I won't even share with you now. Oh boy. But, and then the second one, well, I really liked Rogue One.

I thought that was fucking great. That's Star Wars story. Are you not going to watch that one? Is that not part of it? We might. Yeah, we might. Yes. Right?

You got it. Mars is in, yes. That's considered legend or something, right? No, that's part of canon. Okay, that's canon. We just learned about legend and canon. Yeah, I think. You know, it fits between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, timeline-wise.

Why are they doing this to us? What the fuck? No, no, no, no, no. This is so weird. It's too confusing. So wait, Rogue One is in between which? Sith and New Hope. So what?

Revenge of the Sith and... So like Luke is a toddler? There's no talk of Luke. Oh. Oh, then who's the Rogue One? Huh? What the Rogue One? Huh? What is Rogue One? I forget what actually it refers to.

It might be the name of a ship. I thought maybe Luke was the Rogue One. I thought Rogue One meant like a thing. It probably does. I think it is the name of a ship. I don't know what I'm talking about, though. That one's really good. I did not see Solo.

I was sufficiently scared away from seeing that one. I remember seeing the billboards for that. Same. Yeah. And then do you know the timeline when Solo takes place? I do not,

but I think it's early. Probably before A New Hope. Yeah. Because that's Han's, his origin story, right? Yeah, I think that's right. Okay. Yeah.

And then the second of the, so the, I'm forgetting the title. It's The Force Awak, and then the second of the, so the, I'm forgetting the title. It's The Force Awakens and then the one I'm talking about and then The Last Jedi, right? So the second later sequel. You're looking at the wrong. Yeah, I don't know the title. But I actually recently watched that for the first time.

I put it off for a while and I liked it a lot. And then I've heard that the final one is bad. And I think I'm going to solo it. I think I'm just not going to see it. Wow. I think I might just not see it. And then there's one coming out in December. There is? Wait, that was December. I have no idea what month it is.

I think that was, yes, that was the last one. It's February now. It's February now. That came out. We haven't seen it yet, though. No. Yeah. Was that considered?

Because that's the last one. That's the ninth movie. I don't think I've heard a good thing about it. That's the one you're saying you're not going to see. Yeah, I think I might just not see it. Okay. But you don't want to see how the saga ends? Who's Kylo Ren?

Oh, you're going to find out. So wait. No, I don't care. Yeah, that's number nine. Why did I think it was number 10? There's no 10. There is no 10. But I think there's only two Star Wars stories, which is Sola and Rogue One, I think.

And then we have Mandalorian. And then, oh, Mandalorian. Which actually, Paul F. Tompkins was just texting me today saying we should watch that and that it's actually good. And it's like Baby Yoda will hook us in and that really it's like eight 45 minute episodes, which still sounds long, but basically over six hours. I've heard that's good, but I'm not very tempted. I don't need to see. Sometimes I feel, sometimes I am struck by the cynicism of the cash grab that's going

on. And sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I don't think about it and other times I do. And so that's part of what bothered me about The Force Awakens. I was just like, I am just hearing the sound of cash registers this entire time. That's interesting. Sometimes it bothers me, but other times it doesn't. Yeah.

I don't know why exactly. I get that though. Yeah, but The Mandalorian, I'm just like, wow, it has become yet another profit center. Right. I don't know. Wait, The Mandalorian is about Boba Fett? No. I think it's about Boba Fett? No. I think it's about Baby Yoda.

Honestly, that's the only thing I actually know. That's what we want. Baby Yoda's very cute and presses a button. He walks around with a cup of tea. Yes. Baby cup of tea. I love the memes with Baby Yoda. I don't like that he is 50, though.

That's weird to me. I find that a little bit concerning. Because what do he look like as actual Baby Yoda? And does he have like a diaper? Does he have a diaper? He has like a brown cloth diaper. I remember speculating when that character was first introduced in like 1981 or whatever, because he says how old he is like 400 something years old

that as a young person he looked like any of us. He looked normal but it's just like centuries have turned him into that. I guess that's incorrect. That's incorrect. He's on a totally different timetable

in terms of growth. Wow. Wait, does Baby Yoda have hair? I don't think so. Because like Yoda kind of has like Bernie Sanders hair vibes for me. Yeah he might have a sprout.

I was like did Bernie love Star Wars? Just like a mess of white hair that no one's ever going to comb. Uh huh. I'm trying to see. C-3PO would go near that. We didn't see very much of C-3PO in this movie. Well he doesn't have a lot to do but he's kind of hanging around in the

background a lot. Yes. Yeah. I know. Okay, Yoda, baby Yoda has just like skin fur. You know what I mean? Like a little tuft. A little tuft. Just white hair kind of over the entire ears and head.

He's really cute. And I need to own him. And that's all I know. Oh, my. I'm so sad that you And that's all I know. Oh, my. I'm so sad that you won't see the latequil. It's just the one I haven't seen solo and I haven't seen the last one. Because I like the way that the second of the later sequels ended. And I felt like, I don't know, I felt satisfied with that.

That was a natural end? Yes, I'm not as invested in what remains to be resolved. And you're not a completist with this, right? Like some people are like, I have to see every single thing related to this. I can't do that. But I guess I have, except for those two. But that's kind of a big thing because I feel like this one just came out. And if you really wanted to see it, you would have been like one of the first people to go.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. And it took me a long time to see that i just saw the whatever the second one is called so in what's what's the name of the movie we're about to watch is uh the force awakens force awakens who so luke is luke leia

they're still alive wait just darth vader's dead what is the story i guess i shouldn't ask it picks up many years after Revenge of the Jedi like roughly as many years as it has been after Return of the Jedi yeah

Return of the Jedi interesting I gotta like think about my timeline going into it yeah because if I just turn that on I'll be like what yeah

so Darth Vader is dead and so is Obi-Wan but like who's the bad guy I guess I'll find out you're gonna find out I'm excited because I don't even know

who's in it I have no idea I think this is the first one where I have literally no references okay like I knew about Jar Jar in the

right me too in the prequels I knew about I don't know I guess I knew about Hayden Christensen Hayden Christensen being like a cardboard

box of an actor honestly come for me Hayden we can talk where is cardboard box of an actor. Honestly, come for me, Hayden. We can talk. Where is he now and what's he doing? What is he up to? What is he doing? I want to know more.

Oh, my God. He was in that movie Jumpers. What's that? I don't know. It was a movie years ago. And that's the only thing I can think of. He was in Life as a House, I think, with Kevin Kline. Oh, was he?

I, like, loved that movie. I hope I'm not mixing it up with something, but I really loved it. And that was, like, probably, like, 2000. So it was before this. I guess he's retired? Maybe. I'm going to go to his IMDb. Weirdly, like, he is bad in the same way that these movies overall are bad.

So in a way, he's, like, he's doing the job. Right. He fits into the world. And if you hated Anakin the Child, you'll hate him as an adult. Yeah. And the character

is Darth Vader who you should hate. Mm-hmm. So maybe it's all kind of supposed to be like that. Okay, but I wanted

to like Darth Vader than to hate Darth Vader. Do you know what I mean? Well, yeah, because at first, when he's a little boy, he seems sweet and hopeful. He's sweet, cute, hopeful.

And so it's kind of sad that he's going to become this. But then he grows up and doesn't really care about anything. He never says a thing with emotion, so then he's like, no, I'm bad. And you're like, okay. That's true. It's not really a transformation from a potentially good guy to a bad guy. It's just kind of, he's always. And I think that's my real problem.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he was in Little Italy, The Last Man, First Kill, 90 Minutes in Heaven, Outkast, Not the Band, American Heist. Yeah, I haven't. Yeah, Jumper. That was in 2008. Is that the most recent? No, his very most recent one is The Last Man is the last thing he was in.

What's that? I don't know. Ooh, Harvey Keitel's in it. I'm in. I'm going to screenshot this and watch it tonight. Oh, my God. I love Harvey Keitel. When I was little, he did it for me.

Can I tell you something about Harvey Keitel? Yes. I was in Scotland the summer of 2017. These commercials I don't believe ever aired in the United States. It's Harvey Keitel as his character from Pulp Fiction selling car insurance.

Wow. That's great. Get that money. Get that money, Harvey. That's perfect. I'm trying to think if it's him or who this is

and I have to look up what Harvey Keitel looks like, I think. There's somebody in Japan who's on like every coffee machine, like every coffee vending machine and it's someone like that if it, like every coffee vending machine.

And it's someone like that if it's not Harvey Keitel. It's like someone, someone like an old American guy, just the face of this thing. And you would never know. Like, oh, it's not Harvey Keitel. I'm going to have to figure that out later. But it's just so weird that you can do these ads like in other countries and just be like. Actually, Natalie Portman is on a big building that my friend was posting about from Thailand. She's like on this huge ad.

Will Smith is in giant ads in Italy. Yeah, it was really like in the airport. I was like, Will Smith? And then, so she was like, yeah, that's how a lot of people make a ton of money by just doing ads overseas that nobody in America ever sees. Isn't that wild? How do we get into that game?

I don't know. International Hollywood, if you're listening. We're available. This is who it is. By the way, also available to sell out here. They're from Men in Black, whose name I can't think of. Oh, Tommy Lee Jones. He's on like everything, every street corner.

Good for him. It is good for him. Well, here's a review that we got for the podcast. Oh, yes. This podcast is so amazingly funny. I have never heard someone absolutely destroy my childhood

in a way that makes me laugh so hard. I love them both and this is a must for any Star Wars fan who can laugh at the silliness of Star Wars and doesn't take the fandom

seriously. That's nice. That's nice. We also got another nice one here. Absolutely addicting. It's so nice to hear people recreate the conversations that I've been having with my Star Wars addicted husband for the past six years. It's funny because it's all true. That is nice.

Thank you. And please go review us on Apple Podcasts. Please. Write a little nice thing and maybe we'll read it here. Yes. That was the second one from Jackie Kelly. I don't have the name on the first one. Oh, no.

Day of the Robot. Yes. Day of the Robot. Oh, yeah. Day of the Robot. Yes, Day of the Robot. Oh, yeah, Day of the Robot. And if you have something mean to say, keep it. Write it in your diary. Tell your therapist. Yeah, write it on a piece of paper, fold it up, and put a stamp on it, and ship it to somewhere else.

Yeah. Put it in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. Plastic bottle. Overall, did you—plastic bottle? You liked this movie, right? I think overall I liked it. So, okay. Plastic bottle. Overall, did you... Plastic bottle. Did you... You liked this movie, right? I think overall I liked it. Like, when I'm talking about my feelings about Star Wars and my level of ability to enjoy it,

this was near the top. I actually was like, I liked the origin stories for these characters that I care about from the previous ones. It seemed the most meaningful in terms of, like, information that needs to get out there. Like, how did Darth become Darth I want to know about the pregnancy and the birth I do care about that so yeah I liked it yeah I agree

I enjoyed it I was too long but I had a great time I tee hee heed I screamed it was good during the fights I was like no oh I was like really into it gotta say I was really sad when Yoda took himself into exile

that really bummed me out yeah I was like I don't think you have to you just like failed a little bit like just try again what is that song

dust yourself off and try again Aaliyah you know they just start playing that dust yourself off and try again you can dust it off and try again

so you are Return of the Jedi Empire Strikes Back this one are your top three. I actually think so. Yeah? Yeah.

And what about you? Mine is the holiday special, Empire Strikes Back. Oh, wait, no. Is that the sixth one? It's the, well, second. It's the fifth. It's the second and fifth. Wait, which one has the Ewoks?

That's five? Jedi. Yeah, that's six. That's six. So, yeah, five. Which one has the Ewoks? That's five. Yeah, that's six.

That's six. So yeah, five. So it goes Holiday, five, six, three, one, two, and then A New Hope is not on my list. I really hated it. Wow. That is wild. I think the Holiday one would be at the top of my list in terms of watchability. I would actually throw that on again as a funny thing. The Holiday one.

I'm really excited to watch it again. Like I'm maybe still friends. again as, like, a funny thing. Like, I'm maybe telling friends, like, some funny. I'm so upset. Because I recently tried to watch it. It's bad. It is great. It's got some good, weird stuff. And the Wookiees, like, are mainly the only people talking for the whole thing.

And there's no subtitles. What's your top three? Well, it's hard to say because because as I say, the original Star Wars is all by itself. Yeah. It's someplace else. Yeah. It's not on this list.

And then I guess... Same for Nicole. It just means something else. Right, exactly, right. In a different way. I guess then it's Empire Strikes Back. Yeah, then maybe

Revenge of the Sith. Then Return of the Jedi. Then whatever this second later sequel is, whose title I still cannot recall. Uh-huh. And then that's where my list ends. There's no other movies on the list. Okay. That's great.

All right. I like that. Well, thank you for joining us. Yes, thank you so much. Julie, thank you so much. Anything you want to plug? Yes. Oh, well, yes, the review DVD is out.

I also have an album that's coming out soon called Four More Sweaters. Great. That's great. Or Monsters Take Your Questions. It's a long title. What else? That's it. All I can think of.

Yeah. Do you have Twitter and Instagram that you cared of? TV's Andy Daly. There you go. I am on Twitter. And I believe I'm that on Instagram as well. Keep it simple for everyone. Lauren, what would you like to promote?

You know, I would like to promote? you know I would like to promote I'm on Good Girls I'm recurring on Good Girls on NBC so you should watch that and see that and then you know all my podcast shit that I tell you every week so yeah I don't know when this comes out my Instagram's Nicole

Byer my Twitter's Nicole Byer I have a book coming out called Hashtag Very Fat, Very Brave. The Brave Girls. No, The Fat Girl's Guide to Being Brave and Not a Melancholy. Down the Dumps, Weeping Fat Girl in a Bikini. It is the longest title. Wow.

I don't know if I ever get it right. Yeah, you thought your title was long. Yeah. Really? Beat you on that. I said, give me all the words and I'll put them on a book. I have a bunch of podcasts that you can listen to. My special is

streaming on Netflix it's the third episode of Comedians of the World yeah oh yeah watch my Netflix special it's called the characters it's so good go see that stuff which episode is it do you know it's the first one there you go it's very funny thank you and so is yours I loved your stand up special

the bachelorette character that you do with like like the tan an orange face. blonde hair, big eyes is so funny. Thank you. What a dang treat. Well,

everyone go buy Andy's DVD and get his album and review. It's so funny. Oh, thank you. Tons of extras, commentary tracks. And listen to Andy

on many different podcasts. You're so funny on Comedy Bang Bang and everything. Oh, thank you. Just search his name. I have a new podcast coming out

but I'm not sure if it will be announced by the time this is happening. Oh, maybe. Can I plug one other stupid thing? Yes, please. Every Wednesday at 1—no, the first Wednesday of every month at 1 p.m. at the UCB Sunset Inner Sanctum, I'm doing an improv show called Lunch Prov where the audience is encouraged to bring their lunch and watch a one o'clock weekday improv show that's adorable

I love it and it's been so much fun and the audience does come they bring lunch and they watch a show I have been hearing that that's been going great it's been

every show has been fun yes I like that yeah so come check it out and yeah because nobody has jobs

in LA was my thought that's great people are just kicking around at one o'clock and they should go do something. Can I leave my house today? Yes, exactly.

All right. Okay, that's it. Bye. Bye. Love you very much. That was a HeadGum Podcast.